Television Academy to 18-49 Year Olds: We Hate You

Our favorite batch of unimaginative award nominations finally came out today, and there were a few surprises. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m referring to the Emmys, television’s annual love-fest to itself, when the least creative and inoffensive shows tend to find the spotlight. Here are some thoughts on a few of the categories:

Outstanding Drama

There is absolutely no reason for the West Wing to be nominated again. This show is abysmal. If I want to see people walking through hallways, I can just watch old reruns of SportsNight, which is far superior. Other than that, I don’t really watch Joan of Arcadia, but I respect that voters thought out of the box for a nanosecond and nominated it. I love 24, but The Sopranos really deserves to win in this category.

Outstanding Comedy

The critics are all shocked that Arrested Development nabbed a nomination, but seriously, after nine months of a collective raging hard-on for this show, did they ever think it wouldn’t? I do like Arrested Development, but it’s fairly overhyped and occasionally tries too hard. Then again, it is better than almost all of the network comedies, and at least Fox didn’t bail on it after six episodes (paging Undeclared,Andy Richter Controls the Universe, The Tick, Crackin’ Up). Will & Grace is still relying on the same joke as it did five years ago, and guess what, it wasn’t that funny then either. But bleeding heart liberals think they’re somehow enlightened when they watch this show, so what can you do? Everybody Loves Raymond and Sex And The City are beyond past their primes. Thankfully the latter was put down this year. I’m glad Friends was shunned, but where’s the love for Scrubs, or better yet, Reno 911!? I’ll just have to settle for a Curb Your Enthusiasm win.

Outstanding Reality/Competition Program

Now this is a tough category. The Amazing Race is by far the classiest reality show on television. I may even go so far as to say it’s the best. But then again, can I really deny Donald Trump and the joy that was The Apprentice? That show was more of an innovator and brought a different breed of reality star to the table. And of course, you can’t count out that old seasoned veteran, Survivor which delivered one of its very best seasons ever with Pearl Islands.

Outstanding Miniseries, Outstanding Made for Television Movie, and anything to do with those categories

Come on. No one cares about these except HBO.

Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series

Another toughie. Gotta love Conan, and after ten years, he deserves a little love. Then again, the Daily Show has been spot on with its political satire, and Letterman is the best interviewer of the bunch. I’m always a fan of SNL, but this year hasn’t been great, aside from Debbie Downer. Thankfully, The Tonight Show was kicked out of the running (shed a tear for Middle America), and in its place is the much deserved Chappelle’s Show. At this point, you might as well flip a coin.

Outstanding Actor in a Drama

Nothing really noteworthy here except James Spader. I’m a big fan of his icy style; although, I’ve never seen him on The Practice (I have a theory that every David E. Kelley show has been just a variation on elements from Picket Fences). James Gandolfini is great, but I sort of want Kiefer to win. And couldn’t we have had a little love for Peter Gallagher and Adam Brody from The OC?

Outstanding Actress in a Drama

This category fails to excite me. Pundits are slaphappy that fresh blood in the form of Amber Tamblyn and Mariska Hargitay received nominations. Whoopdee doo. Just give it to Edie Falco and let’s move on.

Outstanding Actor in a Comedy

Another batch of bland nominations. I love John Ritter, but the posthumous nomination is excessive. I would have thrown in Christopher Macdonald for Cracking Up, but then again, I’m the only one who actually watched that show.

Outstanding Actress in a Comedy

Someone explain to me how Kerri Kenney did not get nominated for Reno 911!, or even Cheryl Hines for Curb Your Enthusiasm. Here’s who did get the nod. Patricia Heaton: too annoying these days. Jennifer Aniston: don’t patronize me. Sarah Jessica Parker: she’s good, but she’s been better. Bonnie Hunt: Great comic talent, but not on her dreadful show. Jane Kaczmarek: the poor woman’s been yelling for five years. Give her the statue already.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama

A decent crop, I suppose. Michael Imperioli clocked in his best season yet on The Sopranos. I’m just wondering when Dennis Haysbert will finally get recognized for his work on 24. Note to Academy: black people act too.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama

There’s a little too much West Wing in this category. I would have liked a nod to Penny Johnson Jerald or even Reiko Aylesworth for their solid contributions to 24. Can you tell I like that show? Nevertheless, Drea De Matteo was the star of this season of The Sopranos, and she pulled it off. If anyone else grabs this award, it’s a robbery.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy

With the exception of newcomer Jeffrey Tambor, this category is the same as it has been for the past four years, it seems: David Hyde Pierce, Brad Garrett, Peter Boyle, Sean Hayes. For every Academy member who glows about Joan of Arcadia representing a more open minded nomination system, please refer them to this category.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy

And I thought Supporting Actor in a Comedy was bad. This category is a joke. It’s a mockery. The only new face here is Kristin Davis, who’s riding the Sex and the City farewell tour as long as she can. Everyone else has been spinning in their wheels, slowly grinding their roles into predictable caricatures. Example A: Kim Catrall. I hope no one wins in this category, and if someone does, I hope she gets hit by a bus the next day.