TVgasm 2006 Oscar Ballot

26 Comments

1. 1
   hardly@work
   Posted March 3, 2006 at 6:49 am

   Oh Bside you never cease to amaze me, this is just what I needed. I was just thinking, Oscars on Sunday, what would make it interesting, and then POW!
   TVGasm to the rescue, now I have a reason beyond Oscar Fashion to play along.

2. 2
   EdHill
   Posted March 3, 2006 at 6:51 am

   I have to admit the “In Memoriam� is always my favorite. Especially when they show someone really popular like a Richard Pryor and it gets huge applause, but then they follow it up with something like the guy from Murphy Brown that no one cares about, but since everyone’s just applauded so loud they can’t just go to a quieter one so they have this halfway loud version to kind of make up for it. That always makes me laugh.

   And you are right, Brokeback Mountain jokes are so over that even making jokes about how they are so over is so over. I’d say it jumped the shark, but even saying something has jumped the shark is so over that even saying it is so over is so over.

   But making a joke about how saying jump the shark is so over is so over is almost so over.

   There. Now its so over.

3. 3
   Lizardqueen
   Posted March 3, 2006 at 7:02 am

   There was talk of a live chat thingy. Is this going to happen? And could everyone please send in their final Oscar party menus? I’m talking to you TinkerbellAPixie.
   I hope Dick Cheney shooting people jokes never hop the dolphin. I shall never tire of them.

4. 4
   chronic
   Posted March 3, 2006 at 7:26 am

   I’m a bit confused by the “best acceptance speech”? That doesn’t seem very snark-worthy. Unless you mean best as in enjoyably bad. Actually after Halle Berry, Hilary Swank, and Jamie Foxx et al, I can’t even bear to watch them anymore.

   Bring back Sacheen Littlefeather.

5. 5
   EdHill
   Posted March 3, 2006 at 7:48 am

   Since I have a new High Def television i was thinking of having an oscar party so me and my friends can watch all the celebrities in high def and laugh, but then I realized I actually like womens vaginas and decided against it.

6. 6
   sparky
   Posted March 3, 2006 at 7:53 am

   Best category not on ballot:

   Number of Times Camera Will Cut to Oprah to Watch Her Nodding Her Approval

7. 7
   djo8901
   Posted March 3, 2006 at 7:55 am

   EdHill — so true — and they always ask them to refrain from clapping but being that rebellious bunch of thespians that they are — they do it anyway.

   B-Side can you add to the ballot — Person with Most Regrettable Tattoo That Declares Their Crazy Mad Love for Antonio Banderas? Seriously — she needs to laser that bitch off. Or at least wear long sleeves.

8. 8
   D-Hoffs
   Posted March 3, 2006 at 9:01 am

   “laser that bitch off” i enjoyed that!

   and B-Side why would Charlize Theron be in the worst dressed category? I always think she looks pretty good, and an upset would be Crash for best picture?? I thought it was a great movie!

   i very much enjoy the person with the most regrettable earring category tho, Harrison Ford’s really is that unfortunate..

9. 9
   ClariceStarling
   Posted March 3, 2006 at 9:37 am

   How annoying is George Clooney? He acts like he’s an “everyman”, but you always see him acting the fool with OCEAN’S 11/12 buddies and jumping off yachts. He’s always been a rich boy and always will be some brat. So what he made some okay movies. He’s still an annoying donkey dick.

10. 10
    B-Side
    Posted March 3, 2006 at 9:48 am

    EdHill — I totally know what you’re saying about the people who get spillover applause. I was almost going to make a category for “Dead Person Who Most Benefits from Popularity Spillover” but didn’t know how to phrase it properly. Until now. Alas.

11. 11
    Lizardqueen
    Posted March 3, 2006 at 9:57 am

    EdHill, I was hoping you would invite the gasmers over to your smoky den of unbridled licentiousness for a hi-def Project Runway finale party.

12. 12
    RealityTV4Me
    Posted March 3, 2006 at 12:06 pm

    All right. That’s it! Someone give Lizardqueen some shows to review. Anyone who can come up with the kind of stuff that she does, deserves to share her insights with us all.

    You said licentiousness. I had to go look that one up.

13. 13
    ruplub
    Posted March 3, 2006 at 12:24 pm

    It’s obvious who’ll get cut off by the orchestra – it’s always some poor schmuck who wins for best lighting or something.

    Hey, can I join the tvgasm myspace page? I have no friends.

14. 14
    D-Hoffs
    Posted March 3, 2006 at 1:15 pm

    tvgasm has a myspace page!!

15. 15
    Lizardqueen
    Posted March 3, 2006 at 1:20 pm

    RealityTV4Me, you make me blush. And to think, when I first found this site I was roundly reviled. They even called for my death. That’s when I truly knew I had a home. If my opinions can piss people off so much that they hope I die, well, I’m practically the President. Licentiousness… doesn’t just saying it make you feel dirty?

16. 16
    J Unit
    Posted March 3, 2006 at 1:24 pm

    Hey guys, sorry I didn’t get my shit together to have the online Oscar party that I promised. Turns out I’ll be in Vegas this weekend. We’ll figure out a way to make it up to you folks though.

17. 17
    Leah3t
    Posted March 3, 2006 at 2:26 pm

    sparky- YES! There should be a sub category for pans to other black people whenever race is mentioned on the show.

    Though they can pan to Halle all they want. She always looks better than everyone there. Go sista!

18. 18
    TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted March 3, 2006 at 4:28 pm

    It turns out I’m sorta sick with the creeping crud that is going around, so I might not be having my party after all (insert tears here)…sooooooooo I could set up a room for us to use for Oscar night chat if anyone is interestd.

19. 19
    maybeimamazed02
    Posted March 3, 2006 at 8:33 pm

    I gotta ask:

    B-Side, will you marry me?

    The Oscars are my Superbowl. This year, I just wanna see the Best Song Oscar go to It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp. How AWESOME would that be? All the old grizzled white dudes would be crapping their pants.

20. 20
    zoobabe
    Posted March 4, 2006 at 7:11 pm

    EdHill- what if you invited over all the TVGasm hottie commenters with available vaginas to your Oscar party? It’s a win-win situation in my book (and I’d come too).

21. 21
    zoobabe
    Posted March 5, 2006 at 3:51 pm

    Just an FYI- there is a sweepstakes going on over at Oscar.com with prizes. Anyone playing that wants to be in my group, make your picks and join the “Clooney lovers” group. We’ll see who wins!

22. 22
    zoobabe
    Posted March 5, 2006 at 4:35 pm

    that would be “Clooney Lovers” with a big L!

23. 23
    zoobabe
    Posted March 5, 2006 at 8:55 pm

    My picks for best dressed women at the Oscars:

    1. Jessica Alba
    2. Uma Thurman
    3. tie between
    Michelle Williams and
    Keira Knightley

    Best speech- Reese Witherspoon

    Best unexpected moment- 3-6 Mafia winning for “It’s Hard Out Here For A Pimp”/ Crash winning over Brokeback
    Mountain.

    it was a great show and Jon Stewart was hella-funny!

24. 24
    djo8901
    Posted March 6, 2006 at 8:24 am

    Maybe some of you who understand awards ceremonies better than me can explain something. In my opinion, the distribution of awards made no sense. How could someone win for best director but not win for best movie?? And how can something be the best movie, yet it appears as though it had nothing to do with the cast or the director because they didn’t win in those categories. Movies can’t get made without these different roles in the creation of it overlapping. Why is Ang Lee the best director? He obviously didn’t do that great a job if his actors and his movie didn’t win – right? That’s what a director does – directs people and guides the vision for the movie. If his movie and his actors didn’t win – exactly what did he do a great job at? Does this make any sense?

25. 25
    Belinda
    Posted March 6, 2006 at 2:38 pm

    Is it me or does Reese Witherspoon bear a strong resemblance to Dakota Fanning (visa versa)????? I feel icky for saying that!

26. 26
    Victoria
    Posted March 6, 2006 at 11:03 pm

    Jon Stewart was fantastic! I am sorry I didn’t print this ballot because so many of these things came up. Worst dress clearly went to Charlize Theron and yet if you had asked me 2 days ago I would have said Gwyneth would have had it hands down.