TVgasm’s Best, Worst, and Biggest A-Hole of the Year Awards


By Staff | | 12:00 pm | 45 Comments

A new year is about to be upon us, so it’s time to gather the gasm recappers and reflect on the past. We could focus on the positive, but what fun would that be? Enjoy, and feel free to add your best and worst in the comments. Thanks for being here, gasmii. Here’s to a 2011 filled with reality morons to keep our fires burning! xo

Biggest A-hole of the Year

LadyStardust: Um…kinda gotta give this one to Mel Gibson. For obvious reasons.

TheMiki: Biggest A-hole:  Twilight.  Can books be a-holes?  I don’t even care.  That book is an a-hole.

SwellMel: This one is hard, but I’d have to say Spencer Pratt. Just when you think you’re Speidi-free, the flesh-colored pube-bearded villain returns to tweet some random shit like Cherokee Hair Tampons or Heidi’s newest song.

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SexyPanda: I’m trying to think of whom I usually said, “I really hate him, honey!” to my boyfriend about the most.  I think Shane from Walking Dead comes to mind first, so he wins.  Yay, Shane!

Dangerously: Tom Brady’s Hair. TBH has gotten more pub than the rest of the NFL combined, most notably when it was entered into a cage-match with Randy Moss’s Beard. TBH v RMB was bigger than Tyson-Holyfield, Sox-Yankees, and Anniston-Jolie combined. Plus, Justin Bieber came out and publicly trashed the hairdo (seen here http://www.startribune.com/sports/blogs/104979389.html) and even included it in a rap (video included in the article). Hair from Tom Brady’s head could cure cancer…too bad he never gets it cut. To top it all off, the asshole has to remind the rest of the world that he’s married to/sleeping with Gisele Bundchen by telling everyone that she “won’t let him cut it.” Way to go, Tom. Your wife makes a very pretty speed bump for that bus you just threw her under…

Runners-up: LeBron James. What kind of douchebag pulls that kind of PR stunt…a countdown to “The Decision”? Please…everyone in the country outside of Miami is secretly hoping he breaks his legs. And fuck you, ESPN, for being a part of that mess.

Randy Moss:  First, the RMB vs TBH fiasco (see above), and then of course the whole “demanding a trade from the Pats only to show up and start causing problems with the Vikings right away and getting kicked off the team to fade into obscurity in a Titans uniform.

Glenn Beck:  Just because of everything. The guy celebrates “freedom” by insulting…no, “insulting” isn’t the right word…condemning everything that doesn’t fit in his narrow-minded idea of acceptable.

monamonzano: That dude who died texting. You know, Heidi Montag’s Dr. Frankenstein?  He deserved it he deserved it he deserved it. There.  Rant over.

L-Money: Chelsea from America’s Next Top Model. She came so close to toppling the awesome Ann, and was a bitch the whole time. Even when she lost she was arrogant and obnoxious. HATE

J-Mo:   If I’m thinking light-hearted a-holery, I’d have to say Speidi is the biggest one of this year (I count the two of them as a single a-hole since neither has enough time to be one all on their own, what with the fake weddings, fake divorces, fake TV shows, fake music careers, fake money and all-around-fake-fabulousness).

If I’m being serious, I have to say Clint McCance, who is the homophobic shitdick that posted on FaceBook during Spirit Day to say how stupid it was to wear purple to remember gay teens committing suicide (“The only way im wearin it for them is if they all commit suicide”) and went on to say awesome things like “I like that fags cant procreate.  I also enjoy the fact that they often give each other aids and die.”  Thank God for George Takei, who took to YouTube and called this guy a douchebag (almost a million people have watched it… you go, girl!)

HoneyGangsta: Jill Zarin

Alejandra: Sarah Palin.  I don’t know why she keeps trying to prove to people that she’s a lumberjack.  If my future political leaders are going to have qualities that are totally irrelevant to public service, I’d prefer they be of a sexual nature.

Flipit: For me, it’s a tie! Gretchen from Project Runway/Camille from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Gretchen: I gave her the nickname Wretchen right off the bat, even though she was an early favorite. It took her a few episodes to blossom into the a-hole that she eventually became, but when she did, it made me extremely proud of my psychic powers.

Camille: She married Frasier and that’s her biggest achievement in life. She has big giant fake boobs that she wields as a weapon. Her only other weapon is her husband’s money. Never in my life have I rooted for a man to cheat on his wife and get the hell out of there, until this show. I have had to press pause numerous times and take a walk because she’s made me so insanely mad. And now I’m thinner. So…thanks?

WaffleBoy: Oh, Camile from RHBH in an a-hole walk.  I was telling my sister that show is like a 12 part infomercial from Kelsey Grammer as to why in some rare cases it’s perfectly acceptable to impregnate a flight attendant.

PottyMouth: This is a tough one; we see so many assholes throughout the year.  I think I’ll have to go with a more recent addition to the list.  Camille.  Let’s face it, she pretty much outassholes everyone but Allison Dubois, and the only reason Ali didn’t end up my pick is because I’m not forced to watch her delusion every week.  So, Shlemiel it is.

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NinjaStarr: The biggest a hole of the year is probably The Situation. I’ll never understand how someone with such a lumpy, leathery face gets so many women… even if they are “grenades.” Sometimes, personality can make a person appear to be really attractive — this is not one of those times. Women: we should make it a New Year’s resolution to not hook up with The Situation. I’m sure most of us will have the opportunity at some point. Resist the urge to look directly at the abs and move on to that kid who claims he got the pink eye from some woman’s hoo-ha.

Cherie: Jesse James

Bluzgirl: The biggest A-hole of the year is Jesse James.  No, no, no…not the philandering jackass who busted my girl’s Sandra’s heart.  I mean the bank robber.  I’m STILL pissed about that.

And the winner is….Camille! Congrats, Asshole!

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Your prize is a lifetime of IBS! YAY!

Best Show of the Year

PottyMouth: Lost.  Because it’s the last year I’ll be able to say that, and because, regardless of how you feel about the finale this show was something unlike anything else on TV.  Love you, miss you, mean it.

Alejandra: Bethenny Getting Married.  I want to find a way to marry into that family, even if it means waiting 18 years till their kid and gay marriage are legal.

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Bluzgirl: Best show is “The Walking Dead”.  “Boardwalk Empire” might be better, but I can’t afford HBO to watch it.  Taco Bell and Bud Light aren’t going to pay for themselves.

Cherie: Bad Girls Club-because I recapped it.

Dangerously: For me, the best show of the year has held that distinction 4 years running. Chuck, hands down. It’s by far the greatest show that no one watches, and it saddens me that it teeters on the brink of cancelation every year. I mean, yeah, it’s totally a nerd show, but never has there been a show that plays off itself so well, constantly making fun of its own absurdity by going further overboard. I will forever love it because of the epic fight scene between Nicole Ritchie and Yvonne Strahovski (seen here, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwgilMfj3wg). It’s the show that never really feels cliché because it never takes itself seriously, yet you really grow to love the entire cast Plus, Jeffster! may be the greatest act ever. Lastly, I can’t remember a show that’s had a better line of guest stars (Timothy Dalton, Linda Hamilton, Brandon Routh, Scott Bakula, Mark Sheppard, Tricia Helfer, Summer Glau, Olivia Munn…to name a few). I’d totally love to be able to recap that show, but I’d just end up writing exactly what happened and have nothing to make fun of, because they’d have already made fun of everything…

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Flipit: Breaking Bad, Mad Men, True Blood and Dexter all had pretty great years, but the only show I MUST watch every week is (bows head and puts tail between legs) Medium. Hokey? Yes. Badly acted? Mostly. I can’t help it. It’s one of the most creative shows on the air, and I loves me some Patricia Arquette. So stone me. It’s cancelled now, so it will never show up on one of my lists again. HAPPY?!?!

HoneyGangsta: Mad Men because it’s a show that I love to watch, but don’t even really get until I’ve read twelve articles about each episode.  I get to live it and relive it.

WaffleBoy: For me the best show was Justified, but I’m a huge Elmore Leonard fan.  Also, you can never go wrong putting Timothy Olyphant in a cowboy hat.  Any member of The View on the other hand?  Eh, let’s just not go there.

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NinjaStarr: The best show of the year would have to be 30 Rock. It’s absurd, hilarious, brilliant. Tina Fey and Liz Lemon are my heroes. Jack Donaghy is a sexy beast. I want Grizz and Dot Com for an entourage of my very own. I find the rest of the cast terrifying and fascinating. Like those friends you have who you know are disgusting, lying, backstabbers, but they’re so much fun to party with you can’t get rid of them.

J-Mo: My best show this year remains hands down “Raising Hope” (which follows my other favorite, “Glee”) partially because I’m a huge Cloris Leachman fan, and partially because I FUCKING LOVE MARTHA PLIMPTON.  Please, people, watch it, watch it, watch it, and maybe someday we’ll all be free of shit like “Two And A Half Men”.  P.S.  Honorable Mention goes to “RuPaul’s Drag Race”!

L-Money: Bones. High emotion, drama, laughs, and cool science with a great ensemble cast makes for an infinitely enjoyable watching experience.

LadyStardust: I’m going to have to say Lost because it was the only show that I would actual watch live instead of sitting on my Tivo for a few days. I was (and still am) pretty pissed at the ending, but overall it was an amazing show. Runners up would be Party Down, a little Showtime original that was way overlooked, and Big Love on HBO. Oh and House. Love that show. Sorry, I suck at picking favorites.

monamonzano: Bad Girl’s Club, Miami. Why? Because I’m a terrible human being and I love watching like-minded people.

schoonie: While I think Breaking Bad is probably the BEST show of the year, I talked about that last year, when it was also the best show of the year.  Thus, I feel the need to show love to the second best show of the year: Terriers.  I know no one else watched it, but: mother of god, did it rule.  The outstanding performances from Donal Logue (from Grounded for Life and a bunch of other stuff) and Michael Raymond James (the Cajun Killer from the first season of True Blood) as buddy private investigators with no money, no future, and no options anchored the whole thing, but it was the gripping story and killer finale that really clinched it.  Yeah, it’s already been canceled, but so what?  So did Family Guy.  It’s still a totally rad show that deserves to be seen. So when it comes out on DVD, buy it, watch it, and then buy another copy.  Do it for Hank and Britt!

SexyPanda: Tie between Breaking Bad, Mad Men, and Parks and Rec!

SwellMel:  “Lost” and mainly for one reason: Ack’s recaps. Every week my co-workers and I would anxiously await genius Ack’s recaps. Then we would howl with laughter, making our other co-workers think we were drinking on the job or maybe insane. How we loved “Jack’s jears,” “Evil Mocke”, and Lock’s “Don’t tell me what I can’t do.”

TheMiki: Dexter, closely followed by House.  Walking Dead was pretty amazing too though.

And the winner is….Lost! Congrats, buddy!

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Your prize is knowing that you barely beat Bad Girls Club.

Worst Show of the Year

TheMiki: Jersey Couture.  I still haven’t forgiven Flipit for assigning that crapfest to me. It’s like taking Jersey Shore, removing every element that could possibly make it interesting, watchable, or amusing, and then adding obnoxious song/cheers.  That show hurt my soul.

SwellMel: ABC’s “The Middle”. It is clearly the poor man’s “Malcolm in the Middle” with bitchface soccer mom Patricia Heaton. Heaton is forever ingrained in my brain as that annoying nag from “Everybody Loves Raymond” who went on to get a face-lift and tried to make ordering food from Acme online seem glamorous. Who does she think she is? Regis and Kelly? Nobody sells products and services like the Reg and his side toothpick Kelly Ripa.

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SexyPanda: Bridalplasty.  My friend is one of the editors, and I really wanted to try to watch it, for him, but I JUST CAN’T!!!

Schoonie: Do I even need to tell you that Mike and Molly is completely awful?  Every time I hear that it gets more viewers than Community (the best comedy on TV this year), I shed a single tear like one of those crying Indians.  I truly, honestly do not understand why someone went, “Hey, guy who makes Two and A Half Men!  Do you know any fat jokes?” and then let him just throw that lazy shit at the wall for a half an hour every week.

monamonzano: Bad Girl’s Club, Miami. Why? Because I’m a terrible human being and I love watching like-minded people. And that’s bad…right?

LadyStardust: $#*! My Dad Says. Now I haven’t actually SEEN this show, but I’ve seen a couple commercials for it and it looks painfully bad. I LOVE the twitter feed it was based off of too. It just seems like William Shatner was horribly miscast.

WaffleBoy: I didn’t watch Entourage this year, so I don’t have one for this category.

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L-Money: Sarah Palin’s Alaska, if only for the sheer fact that it means I have to hear about Palin and think about her possibly being president more than normal. And normal is way more than enough.

NinjaStarr: The worst show of the year was Real Housewives of DC. I made myself watch the entire season because I live in DC — just like one of the DC wives — and every minute of every episode made me cringe. I’ve never been so embarrassed for someone else before. I was even embarrassed for the people who showed up on the periphery of that schlock. I felt bad for the people on the street caught walking by during the b-roll. Everyone involved with the making of that hot mess should be put on a boat captained by the Salahis and sent out to sea.

J-Mo: I know I’m going to earn a bunch of hatred for this, but I gotta be honest and say “American Idol”.  Ever since the days of Sanjaya (my Papaya!) when it became crystal clear that the producers were monkeying with voting results (or ignoring them completely) this show has devolved into a contest to see Who Has The Most Heart-Wrenching Sob Story, not who can sing the best.  They’ve become cruel when it comes to making fun of mentally ill people, fat people, and gay people and since I am all of those things I just feel like it’s time the show pull the plug on all the bullshit.  Who exactly is going to take criticism about SINGING from Jennifer Lopez?  Then again, why did anybody take it from Paula Abdul?  Hmmmm.

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HoneyGangsta: Jessica Simpson’s The Price of Beauty because it was just an international spa tour, which, who cares?

Flipit: American Idol. What a piece of SHIT this show has turned out to be. It’s infuriating, cuz it’s usually one of my faves. Skara lapdancing Simon every week, Randy’s new obsession with Mister Rogers sweaters, Ellen looking like a deer trapped in the headlights. When your winner can’t even hold a single note on key, you know you’re in trouble. As we all know by now, the show’s been revamped. Hopefully it will get so terrible that it will become fun to watch again.

Dangerously: The Decision, starring LeBron James. Ok, seriously…what about The Gates? That probably should qualify as the worst show ever. Firstly, I am SICK of stupid vampire TV shows, movies, and books aimed towards 16 year old girls. Seriously, the vampires of today make Anne Rice vampires look scary as hell. Thank goodness there’s not a good way to turn Zombies sexy, or all the monsters of my childhood would be the fantasies of every little girl everywhere. We’ll always have Zombies…

Cherie: Hot In Cleveland-Not Enough Betty White

Bluzgirl: Probably “The Event” and I watched every single, stupid minute of it.

Alejandra: Bridalplasty.  I’m probably Concerned Citizen Number 214 to raise this point, but seriously?  It makes me feel like I’m full of worms to watch a show and HOPE the marriages are fake.

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PottyMouth: My first reaction to this question was Skating with the Stars.  But then I thought about it.  Surely I’m saying that because I’m still in the middle of recapping it.  There absolutely has to be a show I’ve hated more this year, right?  Lemme think……..Nope.  It’s Skating with the Stars.  And if you have to ask why, congratulations.  That means you haven’t seen it.

And the Winner is…..a tie! Bridalplasty and American Idol! Congrats!

New Year’s Resolutions for The Stars

Bluzgirl: I’d like Oprah’s resolution to be to lose weight and Jillian kick the shit out of her on her own show to do it.  And then Chris Harrison would come in with a fantasy suite card for the two of them and they’d have to compete in a reward challenge to use it.  After that, they’d have to do a 15 minute mise en place using things out of a vending machine and then Oprah would balloon back up and Jill won’t want to use the fantasy suite for her, so she’ll give it to me and I’d finally start returning Clooney’s calls.

PottyMouth: I’d love to see the networks resolve to stop trying to rip off each other’s shows.  Just because something works on one channel, doesn’t mean YOUR version of it will work just as well.  Also?  eight thousand versions of the same show is tedious.  When someone brings you the idea for CSI: Bumfuck Idaho please don’t greenlight it. k?thxbye.

Alejandra: Bravo needs more Real Housewives franchises, OBVIOUSLY – Real Housewives of Minnesooooota!!  Imagine the wintry brawls!  The icy bitch slaps!  The ski/sledding vacations gone horribly, predictably awry!  The tables full of baked goods hurled in every direction!  The possibilities are endless…

Cherie: For the networks: Make something worth watching!

WaffleBoy: I would love to see somebody at CBS commit to make a show about scientists who solve crimes, or guys who work for the navy and solve crimes, or just a show where a guy solves crimes by noticing things nobody else does.  You know what?  I think the programming guys at CBS can take next year off.

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Dangerously: I want to see NBC resolve to not list Chuck as one of the shows that may or may not be back next season. I want them to just renew it.

Flipit: I would like to see Andy Bobblehead Cohen stop putting himself on the Bravo after shows and replace himself with someone who doesn’t make me want to throw rocks at my TV.

NinjaStarr: I hope that, for 2011, Andy Cohen resolves to ask for a bigger budget for Watch What Happens Live. I think that show can be pretty hilarious, but it looks like it was shot in the basement of the community access television station in Plano. Surely Bravo can afford a couple more hi-def cameras, some new microphones, and a director who gives accurate cues.

HoneyGangsta: I would like to see TLC resolve to continue Sister Wives and extend it to include more polygamous families until it’s a franchise like Real Housewives.

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J-Mo: I would like for MTV to stop glamorizing Teen Pregnancy by calling their show “16 And Pregnant”.  They should be way more honest and call it “I’m Fucking Up My Life” (and instead of “Teen Mom” it should be called “Fucking Up My Baby’s Life”).  I never thought I would say this, but watching all these sad trashy kids start on their long downward spiral is making me long for the days of “My Super Sweet 16″.

L-Money: I’d like to see Michelle Duggar and Kate Gosselin get their tubes tied.

LadyStardust: I want the Situation from Jersey Shore to wear a shirt and keep it on any time he leaves his house. I honestly don’t think he can.

monamonzano: I want to see these bitches make biggest loser, top chef edition, with a splash of Living Dead.

Schoonie: Hey, Ryan Murphy?  Why don’t you resolve to remember that Glee does not exist to teach us a Very Special Lesson every week.  Your show is popular because people want snarky dialogue and cheesy renditions of popular songs, not to hear you yammer on about whatever issue of the day you happen to have read about that morning.  Have fun every week and people will like your show a lot more.

Oh, and while you’re at it?  Kurt is not David Koresh.  You are making him creepy by having everyone fall all over themselves every week to make him happy.  Maybe have him figure out that is is not okay to be a total dick to Mercedes and act all skeevy at Finn all the time?

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SexyPanda: More shows about fat people losing weight and broke people paying off things, all realistically.  I say this without a hint of a joke in my voice, because I’m earnest like that.

SwellMel: I hope that NBC renews “Community”. The humor is sharp, Joel McHale is a sexy bitch, and I love Abed and Troy’s friendship. Who wants to build a tent fort with me???

TheMiki: I’d like Tyler Perry to make a resolution to have one funny thing on any of his many programs/movies in the coming year.  It won’t be easy, but I’m pulling for him.

Our New Year’s Resolutions

TheMiki: My New Year’s resolution is to stop killing hookers.  No wait, to kill MORE hookers.  Yeah… but stop killing hookers that have children cause that’s a drain on our nation’s resources.

SwellMel: To watch more TV of course.

SexyPanda: To lose weight and pay off things, dammit!!  Ha!

monamonzano: To watch more tv. I mean, less tv. I mean….I DON’T KNOW WHAT I MEAN ANYMORE (Weeps).

LadyStardust: I’m pretty much a 25-year-old granny, so I want to finish this huge cross stitch project I just started. It enables me to watch a lot of trash TV while I work on it.

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How every recapper spends down time.

L-Money: Catch up on all the shows I’ve been too busy to watch! Also exercise more. The two may or may not be mutually exclusive.

NinjaStarr: As far as my New Year’s resolutions go… if we’re talking about personal, general resolutions — I’ve given myself six months to get the tightest, firmest ass imaginable. But if we’re talking TV related — in all honesty, for every hour of reality TV I watch, I’m going to match it with an hour of watching PBS. It’s a national treasure. And seriously, is there any interviewer sexier than Charlie Rose?

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and….boner

J-Mo:  I would like to have a lot more sex in 2011, cuz 2010 hasn’t been putting out so much.  Also, I hope to be slightly less fat at some point, I’m starting to get out of breath while typing.

HoneyGangsta: My resolution is to not be 16 and Pregnant.

Dangerously: My resolutions are to gain weight, exercise less, drink more, consistently underperform at work, and never ever get a recap in on time.

PottyMouth: Actually, I don’t believe in making resolutions because I never, ever, ever, ever keep them.  Oh wait!  I resolve to have less sex, eat more, never drink and cut back on the snark!

WaffleBoy: It was exercise every day or learn Spanish. So,I’ve already started on my resolution,  No. no voy a compartir mis nachos. y voy a hacer abdominales cuando el infierno se congele.  2011 is going to be the best year ever!

Cherie: Stop Bitching.

Bluzgirl: Maybe lay off the Xanax a touch…

Alejandra: I resolve to toss Molotov cocktails onto the set of Bridalplasty Season 2.

Flipit:  To be a better person. Which probably won’t happen. But I feel better just for having typed it. Yay me!

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About

45 Comments

  1. 1
    JC
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    Biggest A-hole of the Year: Bill Maher. Besides being borderline retarded, he has one of those face I just want to slap the shit out of every time I see it.

    Best Show of the Year: Breaking Bad. I love watching good people slide into an ever darkening moral abyss. 2nd favorite: Spartacus. Because I’m somewhat depraved.

    Worst Show of the Year: Hardcore Pawn. It’s a hardcore mess. It’s like hanging out at a welfare office but with more suck.

    New Year’s Resolutions for The Stars: David Letterman should retire. I’d rather watch Jimmy Kimmel’s show than sit through another Letterman show. That’s how bad it’s become.

  2. 2
    dazzyfresh
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    Biggest A-hole of the year: Nick Cannon, for spawning #1, getting Mariah to balloon to a Macy’s size #2, and for that dumb ass grin of his. The Situation and Speidi though, are right up there with it.

    Best Show of the Year: I love House, but as a heterosexual semi-pervert, i’d have to go with The Bad Girls Club-they give the perfect dose of naked leg and vulgar woman you can NOT bring home to mama…its like living out a sick fantasy isnt it?

    Worst Show of the Year: Hell’s Kitchen, just for the fact that if I saw ANY of them in a restaurant i’d leave LOUDLY…they sucked, and someone is going to die from their food. Lets throw in Season 7 Top Chef–good shows gone bad

    New Year’s Resolutions for the Stars: Oprah should marry ME-i’d be good to her, and i would swim in her money..err, bathwater
    I agree with Situation wearing a shirt-the man looks like he has alien tapeworms

    My New Year’s Resolutions: to stop protein farts-they are disgusting and clear a gym out HARDCORE. Also, to keep my comments con-TRO-ver-sial yet with a hint of boyish innocent and charm. Oh and i’ll learn how to put an avatar up (i think i have to tap into my inner Asian-computers dont come natural to me)

  3. 3
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    Biggest A-hole: (apolitical) Johnny Weir. Seriously, his talent is mostly for self-promotion and he’s a fame-remora. He’ll attach himself to the ass of anyone who will help him become more famous, even if it’s by creating a completely-in-his-mind feud. He just keeps popping up every few months like a rash and no amount of hydrocortisone will make him go away.

    Best Show of the Year: I got rather caught up in Work of Art, but I really liked Boardwalk Empire. It dared to be slower than molasses, acknowledged that in the right hands, snaggleteeth and bug eyes can be dead sexy some times, and gave us Michael Shannon’s freakishly watchable though carved from a single piece of wood face.

    Worst Show of the Year: Bridalplasty. I only watch the commercials and feel like a horrible person.

    New Years Resolution: I would really like E to stop giving shows to make fame-adjacent dirtbags. And if they must, at least make the dirtbags take screen tests to make sure they’re watchable. I want my reality show a-holes to dance like trained monkeys for me or to get real jobs.

  4. 4
    singleinmymind
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    My pick for the worst show of 2010: That awful “Austin & Santino” show that aired after Project Runway – it was just horrible! The only reason I ever watched it was to figure out if Austin was sleeping with Santino in all of those hotels they stayed in…
    Biggest A-Hole: I have to go with Sarah Palin – what a tool! Poor Alaska…
    Best Show – Top Chef All Stars – even though it’s actually going into 2011
    New Years Resolution for the Stars – Quit acting like your very existence can cure cancer, or bring food to the starving needy. You’re just actors, get over yourselves!

  5. 5
    itchy
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    I took J-Mo’s suggestion and I’ve been watching Raising Hope this evening. He’s right, it’s a pretty great show. Not laugh out loud funny, but it has a real sweet side to it. And Cloris Leachman is excellent.

    Biggest A-Hole of the 21st Century: All of the idiots who have given Sarah Palin any kind of political voice.

    Best Show: Community. Mrs. Itchy and I just started watching it a few weeks back, it’s one of the few shows (next to the Office and 30 Rock) that make me laugh out loud. And that’s an important thing in the Palin era.

  6. 6
    JudgyWudgy JudgyWudgy
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    Schoonie, you just made my whole year. I hate Kurt and have never found anyone to commiserate.

  7. 7
    hutchlover
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    Biggest A-hole of the Year: LeBron James

    Biggest Jerk Athlete of the Year: LeBron James & Brett Favre

    Stupid Show of the Year: “The Decision” by LeBron James

    People Who Need to Go Away (Permanently): Spencer & Heidi and LeBron James

    Best Show: LOST and most commercials

    TV Resolution: To kick Oprah’s ass for getting rid of Discovery Health

    Personal Resolution: To kick LeBron James’ ass for killing Cleveland ON NATIONAL TV!

  8. 8
    jaimesommers
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 3:36 pm

    Bill Maher?? Um, basically the only intelligent (bonus: funny) television personality who not only skewers religious hypocrisy but raises issues that no one else even touches? He’s definitely not an ahole. Or, if one considers him an ahole, he’s not the biggest of 2010. I’m going to go ahead and nominate Glenn Beck, particularly when he cries.

  9. 9
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 4:09 pm

    Actually, I think Bill Maher is an a-hole, for all the right reasons. He has no idols and actually speaks truth to power, even when it is detrimental to him professionally.

    Iconoclasts are rarely likable people.

  10. 10
    thiajok
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 4:40 pm

    I can’t wait to wade into this one, but have company due in a few minutes. I’m on the fence about Bill Maher–sometimes I want to punch him and sometimes I root him on and sometimes he makes me laugh.

  11. 11
    Pegster
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    How could Brett Favre not even get an honorable mention in the asshole categoy? I hate that SOB and his tiny pee-pee. Go AWAY, already! Retire! GET OUT OF MY HEAD, FAVRE!! HAAAAATTTTTEEEEE!!!!!!

  12. 12
    Pegster
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    Oh, and my favorite-ist TV show is Bored to Death. Can I please not be the only one watching it? Jason Schwartzman + Ted Danson + Fat Jesus = GOLD.

  13. 13
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    Biggest A-Hole-Turtle from TC: All-Stars. Your being a complete tool got my girl Bitter Jen kicked off because you can’t handle taping your finger until the end of the challenge. I liked you until that episode so BOOO to you.

    Worst Show of The Year: Married to Rock. If it wasn’t for The Miki’s recaps, I would have gave up. Scream Queens 2 came a close second but having TheMiki’s recaps and Tai’s boobs flying everywhere, it made it somewhat watchable. And seeing Weepy get her head smashed by a tire made it worth her winning.

    Best Show Of The Year: I have to pick The Challenge: Cutthroat. I am such a sucker for Hulkel and she is hot. I also liked Dexter too. Honorable mention is Top Chef: All Stars but their judging this season is so spastic.

    New Years for The Stars: PUT LAUREL ON THE CHALLENGE MORE AND BRING BITTER JEN BACK!!!

  14. 14
    Robin Robinez
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    @thiajok “I can’t wait to wade into this one, but have company due in a few minutes. I’m on the fence about Bill Maher–sometimes I want to punch him and sometimes I root him on and sometimes he makes me laugh.”

    I agree. And sometime’s I want to wade into the dirty pool with him and screw his brains out..while punching him, if he deserved it.. hee

    TC,Robin

  15. 15
    Msjacqmills
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    Jaimesommers….couldn’t have said it better myself. Bill and John Stewart = real smart tv.

  16. 16
    AntSuck
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 6:53 pm

    Biggest Asshole: My first instinct was Russell Hantz, but I reject it for someone WAY worse. I also thought of Jeff Probst, the editors of Survivor, and Simon Cowell. And then I remembered that BB12 is quite possibly the worst show ever. So I was thinking of which houseguest I should choose (Enzo, Matt, and Ragan came to mind), but I’ve settled on ROBIN KASS, the casting director. She’s responsible for everyone on that show, so by nominating her, I nominate the entire cast. F*ck you, Robin.

    Worst show: Big Brother 12, of course. Shit My Dad Says, Two and a Half Men, Mike and Molly, American Idol, and Survivor Nicaragua were all great contenders though.

    Best Show: Gotta admit, I was very pleasantly surprised with Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains. Instead of being The Russell Show Part 2, it actually did a good job of showing everyone.

    New Years Res for the Stars: Allison Grodner and Robin Kass, pretend like you guys still give a fuck about Big Brother. Same goes with the people of Survivor. And no more seasons with Russell.

  17. 17
    Yuck
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 7:21 pm

    Barack fucking Obama, gets my vote for biggest ahole

  18. 18
    jayem
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 8:02 pm

    Schoonie – I watched Terriers and I loved it. I’m REALLY mad that it didn’t get a second season. FX is usually good for keeping those quirky shows. They blew it, cause I was really looking forward to more.

    I think the Best Show was LOST. I’m one of the few who actually liked an appreciated the ending. And I have to give a HUGE shoutout to Ack, who made the experience so much more enjoyable with those hysterical recaps. Seriously, I would be at work CRYING laughing. I might miss the recaps more than the show!

    Biggest Asshole is the person who I just wanted to punch everytime they were on screen and I’m gonna have to say that dubious honor goes to Gretchen of Project Runway. She is a horrible person. Honorable mention for Kate Gosselin. She is also a horrible person.

    I refuse to watch bad shows, so I have no Worst Show. Can I just nominate Twilight for Worst Everything Ever??

    My New Year’s wish is for the Walking Dead to get really, really good. Like, crazy good. So I can be obsessed with it. And for Angelo to win Top Chef. And for the networks to actually invest in some original interesting SCRIPTED dramas, instead of, like PottyMouth said, CSI:Who Cares and NCIS:Seriously?! and all those stupid ass sitcoms with the lazy fat stupid husband and the shrill nagging skinny wife and the precocious brood of children. GAG!

  19. 19
    Posted December 30, 2010 at 10:43 pm

    Best Show: I have no idea. These days, I don’t watch anything unless I can make fun of it here, or unless it’s the news.

    Worst Show: Glee. I have no doubt that Ryan Murphy is constantly cackling to himself, “If they sing loud enough, no one will realize how godawful these scripts are!” Nice try, bucko. I realized.

    Biggest Asshole: See above. I really hate that guy.

    TV resolutions: For Ryan Murphy to learn how to write. Also, for Sarah Palin to find something more interesting to do than shoot stuff.

    My resolution: To be the one to persuade the above two people to carry out the resolutions I gave them.

  20. 20
    itchy
    Posted December 31, 2010 at 2:00 am

    I was scanning down the comments and could have sworn someone wrote: Nicest Asshole.

    I believe Bill Maher defines himself as an agnostic. So I nominate him for Biggest Pussy. He ought to have the courage of his convictions and call himself an atheist.

    There’s no category for Most Maligned, but clearly Kara Whatsherface from American Idol wins that one. I like her. I especially like it that she always seems to be swallowing back her drool.

  21. 21
    LAC
    Posted December 31, 2010 at 6:20 am

    Funny posts by our great recappers! Happy New Year!

    Biggest AHole: Well, I have a tie: Camille Grammar and Sarah Palin: Camille because she managed in two episodes into the FIRST season of a show to be someone I would buy 3D technology just so I could feel what it was like to put my hands around her throat. And we are talking about a franchise that has given us Mallard Mouth and Jimbo, Tamra, Slade, The Cuntess, Kelly, etc…Hell even Jill Zarin was bearable the first season!

    Sara Palin for obvious reasons: no, wingnuts, not jealousy. She is a preening example that you can be stupid and venal and if you are pretty, get away with it. Who the fuck makes bitch noises about the First Lady and her campaign to get healthier food into children? Who?

    Best Show: I loves me sone Mad Men – it is a show that I have to go back and watch again because it is deep. I love the attention to detail and the fine acting. And yes, Jon Hamm is fine, and he can act….

    Worst Show: Word on whoever nominated “The Real Housewives of DC” – I live in this area and really? I am embarrassed that they filmed here.

    Star Resolutions: Andy Cohen to stop inhaling his own farts and stay off the air – I swear, I even hate his promo for the New Year’s eve countdown. I hate his blue something commercial – the one where we are in his closet. There are gay friends of mine who wonder why he doesn’t see the irony and go back in.

    My resolution: To find out if Usher is as good in bed as rumored. Oh, yeah and word peace.

    :)

  22. 22
    unwise
    Posted December 31, 2010 at 8:54 am

    Loved Terriers too! I wanted to see more. I will miss Hank and Britt. My best show is Southland. I’m so happy it is back next week.

    Skating with the stars was probably my worst show. The recaps, though, made it fun.

  23. 23
    leboe
    Posted December 31, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    My vote for biggest a-hole goes to Tom Cruise, again. At least 6th year running now, maybe more. He’s just such a phoney creeper!! He’s WORSE then Mel Gibson. At least Mel can blame it on the booze and drugs he was taking for hair growth/penis enlargement or whatever they were for. Tom has no such excuse, just a nasty, creepy personality! Heres hoping his mothership returns to take him home in the new year!

  24. 24
    mere2142
    Posted December 31, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    My mother told me today how hysterical she thinks Andy Cohen is and how much she is looking forward to his show tonight. I think I may be adopted.

    Oh and I just deleted Bridalplasty from my DVR. Never got around to watching it but it looks like I didn’t miss anything.

  25. 25
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted December 31, 2010 at 3:37 pm

    Well, Mere, tell your mom to enjoy Andy’s wacky hijinks now. Because this is the year his epidermis joins that greyhound fur tuxedo in my teak wood armoire. (Beret of poodle on my noodle it shall rest!).

    Ol’ Flame Heels’ head I plan to shrink using an old Cambodian ritual, and I will use it to adorn the key fob for my Astin Martin.

  26. 26
    JC
    Posted December 31, 2010 at 10:56 pm

    Bill Maher… Remember when this multi-millionaire preached to us that we should be less materialistic?
    http://www.tvgasm.com/newsgasms/bill-mahers-christmas-message-sorry-oprah/

    Yeah, I still think he’s asshole of the year.

  27. 27
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted December 31, 2010 at 11:56 pm

    Biggest A-hole: Camille Grammer or Alison DuBois
    Best Show: Top Jersey Bad Housewife Chef Club
    Worst Show(s): Any show with fat people crying. (and there’s plenty!)
    Star Resolution: That reality TV get trashier, and scripted TV get better writers. I was a little disappointed with Dexter’s season finale. And while I haven’t caught up on my True Blood yet, I hear season 3 has “fairies”. *cringes*

    Honorable mentions: 1 Girl, 5 Gays(tv); Black Swan (film); The Disobedient Girl (book)

    Bill Maher is great sometimes..I really like his stand-up. But I always wonder about the girls he sleeps with..the skankiest, nastiest, trashiest hos on the planet. How can you bang a chick named Superhead? She’s been run through so much, a rapper wrote a song about her.

    I got a chick named Superhead
    She give super head
    Just moved in my building
    Even gave the super head

    For that alone, Bill Maher is an asshole.

  28. 28
    ectobaby
    Posted January 1, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    Bill Maher makes a lot of money because people want to listen to him. Should he stop working so he can stop making the money that you claim should preclude him from having beliefs against materialism? I don’t get what your point is.

  29. 29
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted January 2, 2011 at 5:30 am

    BEST SHOW: I don’t know that I could pick a best show of the year. I mean, my brain would probably make me pick Lost only because this is the last year I could pick it and I MISS IT SO MUCH!!! But I really love Dexter, Top Chef, Mad Men, Chuck and many more. I didn’t watch Boardwalk Empire while it was on, even though it looked interesting. Then a friend of mine got hired for the second season, so I started watching it. My god is that a great show! I can’t wait for season two to start. I love me some Steve Buscemi!! Always have. Always will. So I guess that means my vote is Boardwalk Empire, eh?

    WORST SHOW: We started watching a show simply because JJ Abrams was behind it. I don’t even remember the name. It was about two spies that were married to each other. We figured it would be sort of Mr and Mrs Smith-esque. Nope. It was a smarmy cheesy mess. And not in a good way either. I think we made it through the first episode but couldn’t make it through the second one. What was it called….? Thanks, hubby! It was called Undercovers. Pure shit. Is it even still on the air?

    BIGGEST ASSHOLE: I nominate the entire cast of Survivor this season. Every single one of them was an asshole for one reason or another: stealing food, being a racist, shitty attitude, laying around and doing nothing yet acting entitled to everything, being on a show about strategy and not strategizing, voting in ways that made no sense and pretty much guaranteed your own ousting. The only possible exception might be Fabio. And he won. Oh yeah, and Jane. Love Jane. But everyone else? Fuck you for making me watch.

  30. 30
    thiajok
    Posted January 2, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    @Robinez: LOL! I’ll let you wade in there and do Bill Maher. I’ll just watch from the edge of the shit pool and giggle occasionally.

    @Itchy: Yes! Bill Maher is a pussy for not just admitting he’s an atheist. It’s almost like he’s hedging his bets, isn’t it.

    @Ectobaby: People are calling Bill Maher out for his salary not because we resent the money but because he’s lately lectured our society on its crass materialism.

    @J-Mo: Aw, honey, big hug for the angst you feel (American Idol remarks).

    Biggest Asshole: Mel Gibson, Sarah Palin, and Bono. Bono will always get a mention whether he’s done anything or not because I just think he’s the phoniest piece of crap ever.

    Worst Show: Sadly, I have to nominate Running Wild. I didn’t want to, but there it is. I’d nominate other shows recapped on this site, but I don’t think just reading the recap constitutes watching it, so I’m trying to have integrity. Not succeeding, as usual, probs.

    Best Show: Mad Men and Breaking Bad. Honorable mention for two BBC-America shows: Being Human and Luther.

    New Years resolution for the stars: Stop, just stop lecturing us on what we should and shouldn’t do with our time, money, and morals. I know some stars actually do put their money where their mouth is, but many are just lip-servicing and it’s grating. Also, Oprah, people are hating on you for shutting down Discovery Health and launching OWN, especially when you’re giving Dr. Phil another fucking forum.

    My New Year Resolution: I resolve to not make one–that’s the only one I’ll be able to keep.

  31. 31
    thiajok
    Posted January 2, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    It occurs to me that resolving to not make a resolution is in fact making a resolution.

  32. 32
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted January 3, 2011 at 9:27 am

    Ahole of the year — Taylor Swift. Does she really have to write some whiny sappy song about every guy who muddies her up? If I did the same I would have as many songs as the Beatles have on itunes.

    Best Show — Jersey Shore and Modern Family. Even though I have I have these shows on my dvr I ALWAYS watch them live. I get giddy around 845 on Wednesdays.

    Worst Show –Brandy and Ray J. I want to see someone looking for love through trashy men and women. Not about your family business.

    New Years Resolutions for Stars — Stop hating on reality tv stars. I love them. They help me through my day. They’ve not yet gotten to the point where they think they are better than me. Also, Lifetime, no holiday movies next year. When I watch life time I want to see battered women get revenge, or slutty cougars sleeping with their best friend’s son.

    New years resolution for me — Win the fucking lottery.

  33. 33
    soapboxx
    Posted January 3, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    For me it’s Obama for making us hopeful, then Obama quickly turns into Bush Part Deux. Fuck him and his bloodsucking cronies.

  34. 34
    thiajok
    Posted January 3, 2011 at 6:19 pm

    So that hopey/changey thing isn’t working for you?

  35. 35
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted January 3, 2011 at 6:33 pm

    Some people are hope-less. (I’m here all week!)

  36. 36
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted January 4, 2011 at 3:49 am

    People need to remember that not all “change” is good. After all, if the turn off your heat in the middle of winter, it is a big change, but you are still freezing your ass off! :D

  37. 37
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted January 4, 2011 at 4:09 am

    Snootchy, you’re right. Up until a few days ago, I could breathe through my nose. Then all that changed. :(

  38. 38
    LAC
    Posted January 4, 2011 at 7:33 am

    Maybe I should change my biggest ahole of the year award, My nomination is well..us. For treating our nation’s problems like 3 year olds with too much sugar and two hours past our bedtime. FIx! Fix!Fix! Now! Now! Now! Not pretty…

    Nah, I will climb off MY soapbox and go back to hating on RHOBH’ s Camille…

  39. 39
    thiajok
    Posted January 4, 2011 at 7:45 am

    Let me make it clear that I was facetiously quoting Sarah “I’ve Got a Gun” Palin when I made my comment about the hopey/changey thing.

    There are changes being made for the good–it’s just that it’s so much easier for the media to cover obstructionists’ loud squeals of contempt than it is for them to investigate and analyze productive policy that has taken effect.

  40. 40
    LAC
    Posted January 4, 2011 at 7:53 am

    thajok…don’t worry about it… Palin is a reality celebrity so your comment tied right in. :)

  41. 41
    thiajok
    Posted January 4, 2011 at 7:58 am

    Yes, thanks LAC. I get the feeling that some Palin supporters are taking offense at comments made about her as if we’ve all just decided to go political on TVGasm. I don’t see it that way. She’s put herself in our path by having a reality show, so this paves the way for comments to be made about her.

  42. 42
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted January 4, 2011 at 8:10 am

    @Classy Drunk: Don’t forget that old Lifetime classic: Unrealistically Attractive But Haunted Woman with Painful Secret(tm) hires Hunky Private Investigator(tm), and fucks him in soft focus.

    @soapboxx: Look, I’m asking you nicely. Please don’t turn this into another “Obama is the devil, especially is the devil supports socialism” venue. If I want to read that, I can go to ABSOLUTELY EVERY OTHER COMMENTS SECTION ON THE INTERNET, including the one for Lesbians Who Only Liked the Seasons of Zena Where Zena and Gabrielle Were Seriously Considering Scissoring (And Not the Paper-Cutting Kind, Either). Not here, please.

  43. 43
    LAC
    Posted January 4, 2011 at 8:46 am

    ahhh,…Zena. Now Lucy Lawless is a redhead (I think) in that show Spartacus, getting her freak on…

    thajok…someday, when I somehow get on the Real Housewives of DC, season 2, bejeweled booby shirt at the ready, weave perfectly placed, please be kind in your comments – :)

  44. 44
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted January 4, 2011 at 10:03 am

    I want to change my vote for biggest asshole. I just finished watching all of the episodes of RHBH and (the real) Allison Dubois is one of the biggest assholes I have ever seen! She makes Camille look like Mother Theresa and that bitch is seriously psychotic! I was so offended by Allison’s ego and complete narcissim that it makes me not want to watch the series anymore and I love that series. I just need some mind bleach to get the stench of her out, I guess.

  45. 45
    soapboxx
    Posted January 5, 2011 at 1:24 am

    @notwithoutmytv: I just thought about the A-Hole question and my opinion is Obama hands down. I voted for Obama. I am the one that is constantly duped by the politicos. I thought the billion dollar payoff to AIG when Bush left office was organized by Bush. Then I found out AIG was the number one contributer to Obama’s campaign. And hey the question was A-Hole of the Year, not A-Hole of the Year excluding politics. I was just giving my honest answer. TVGASM is my sanity rescue site, I apologize if I’ve lowered it’s standards by bringng up Obama. I have no desire to troll the million other anti-Obama/Bush/Palin/Limbaugh/etc sites. I will respectfully decline from political references in the future. Let’s keep TvGasm pure! Long Live Flipit, Schoonie, Snootchy, etc!!!!!!!!!!!

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