Glee: Awkward Make-Out Scenes Episode

Recaps

By BirschTalk | Friday, November 12, 2010 | 2:00 pm | 26 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Featured, Glee, Recaps

There you are! How are you, my gleeloveds? I feel like it’s been a while but that’s because it has been a while. Why do they skip a week every now and then? Anyone know? I guess I could look it up but I’d rather you tell me.

This week’s ep starts off with Finn and New Guy Sam getting all pruney in their own fancy hot and cold whirlpools and complain about having lady friends that won’t let them break out their wieners. When things get a little too hot and heavy for Finn he thinks of involuntary manslaughter. NGS decides that the Beiste will be his anti-muse.

In glee, Ol’ Goody Two Shues give the glang the breakdown on their competition for Sectionals. The all boys private school Dalton Academy Warblers and The Hipsters, who are a bunch of elderly people from a continuing education program. And guess who’s back? Or should I say, WHAT’S back!?

201011111851

It’s Puck, the original version! Complete with cranium Speed Bump!

 

He’s gotten out of juvi early cause he promised his probation officer he’d help out his handicapped friend, Artie, instead of community service. Really though, Puck just ends up turning Artie into his own personal Meals On Wheels by hiding stolen cafeteria goods in his wheel chair.

Shue pulls Kurt into his office after seeing him get bullied by a meathead. In fact, the gay bullying seems to be getting out of hand. On top of that, Kurt feels isn’t feeling challenged and all this eludes to his leaving McKinley. If only he’d transfer to the old people school. I mean, WHY would the writers of Glee place him in an all boys school? What sort of shenanigans could Kurt get into with a bunch of boys? Hmmmmmmm? Sarcastic hmmmmmmmm.

Shue throws a curve ball at the glang and asks the girls to sing a boys type song and the boys to sing a girl type song. Kurt’s face lights up for the first time in a while, and next thing you know he’s referencing a feather and leopard skin diagram with the dudes of Nude Erections. Puck’s not havin’ it, and he tells Kurt to go check out their competition. And so he will. In more ways than one.

Quinn and NGS are making our in front a lovely fire when something (his WEINER) pops up. He tries thinking of the Beiste so that something will go away. (BTW, I’m not afraid to say it- “Penis!” Or “cock,” even! I just like the word “wiener” out of the whole lot. It’s the funniest to me. It always has been… HATE schlong. Hate it.) The Beiste method is working pretty well for NGS until he accidentally says the Bieste’s name to Quinn… The Beiste chopping meat in NGS’ anti-fantasies put a great big smile on my face. Because, what else would she be doing? Chopping meat, naturally.

201011111922

Quinn is so distraught by what she heard come out of NGS’ magnificent, massive mouth, she goes to Sue for help. They develop the standard Sue Sylvester Revenge Plan and decide they need to turn the Beiste into the next Mary Kay Letourneau. That way NGS can marry the Beiste, have two children, and live happily ever after… Cause that’s what really happened, don’t ya know!

During lunch, Puck wants to make some cash so he and Artie bust out some Bob Marley. This is the FIRST time I think I’ve ever actually enjoyed a Puck song. Good on ya, Puck. There was still a little sneaky robot in there but I’m used to it by now, especially with him. Not my LEAST favorite version of “One Love,” anyway… They’re gonna take Brittany and Santana out on a double date with their money cause Artie’s decided he has feelings for Brittany after all. They’re going to Breadstix and I’m starting to wonder if there’s any other restaurant in town…

Kurt does some reconnaissance work at the all boys prep school. He asks one of them about the herd of boys in the halls and the dude explains that the Warblers are putting on an impromptu performance and they’re like “rock stars” there. THEN the hot dude takes Kurt by the HAND and, wait, it gets better, they run through the illustrious halls in slow motion, and wait, it gets even better, the hot dude joins the rest of the Warblers and the sing Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” to Kurt. I LOVE how they re-imagined this song. LOVED it. And in a cappella, no less?!? So let’s get this straight- an all boys, a cappella version of Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream?” Holy shit, THAT’S awesome. BY FAR, one of my favorite songs to come out of Glee, if not my favorite.

201011112008
“I’m singing about skin tight jeans while looking you directly in the eyes, la lalaaaa.”

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I’m not sure what happened next or why quite yet but Mike tells Tina about NGS’ method of cooling down. For some reason this inspires them to make out in the science room and Tina get’s so turned on she pictures the Beiste in a tutu, smoking a cigar. Next fantasy the Beiste will be driving a semi, but in the meantime, Tina blurts out “Beiste” and Mike calls her out on it. Weird. And forced. And weird.

Quinn tries to make that scene in the hallway with NGS that her and Sue talked about, when the Beiste hears her name in passing. Shue shows up as Mike walks by and tells the Beiste to stay away from his woman. In the glee room, Shue tells Sam and Mike to spread the word that the Beiste as a cooler is NOT cool.

The Warblers invite Kurt for some friendly coffee and some explanation as to why he was spying on them. Kurt asks if they’re all gay. It turns out only the main hot one is, darn it. Poor Kurt. Then he and the out and proud hot gay guy have a chat about what’s going on at McKinley. The hot gay guy urges him to fight back. If it was me though, I’d go to hot gay guy school…

The girls of glee are planning their comeback from the technical loss from last year against the boys when trouble comes a wheelin’ in. Puck asks Brittany and Santana out by not asking them out on a double date.

The Beiste approaches Shue in the teacher’s lounge about the weirdness from the glang and Shue reluctantly gives her the scoop. The Beiste is so upset she throws a table through the window. No she didn’t. But she shoulda!

Puck is telling jail stories on his double date when the waitress drops the check. Puck wants to dine and dash and Artie is confused. But what’s even more confusing is that outfit Artie is wearing.

201011112157
Brandon Walsh called on his giant cell phone and he wants he outfit back, Artie.

Artie can’t do it though, so Puck leaves him stranded. Ol’ Birschy is quite pleased with Artie. Dining and dashing is horrible, boys and girls! Do you know those poor servers have to pay for that out of their tips? That’s Fridays policy anyway. Yeah, I worked at Fridays. And yeah, I had to pay for some little shit head’s meal.

The girls perform a Bon Jovi/Rolling Stones mash-up of “Start Me Up” and “Hold On.” Think a lot of hair flinging, standing/ bending over, and looking over shoulder rocker lady type stuff. During the performance Kurt gets a text from hot out and proud gay guy, Blaine. Which I’m glad for cause I hadn’t caught his name earlier.

Sue has Two Shues meet him her in the auditorium to celebrate the Beiste quitting. The celebration even calls for a double confetti cannon blast and maniacal evil laughing.

Kurt decides he gets pushed for the last time by the meathead and he confronts him in the locker room. Not surprisingly, he tries to kiss Kurt. Not surprising in terms of plot and not surprising in terms of reality, y’all. Whenever I go to a pride parade and see protesters, I always tell them it’s okay that they’re gay and to stop hating themselves.

Shue yells at the glang for what happened to the Beist. Everybody feels all bad about it and Quinn realizes what was happening with NGS. Santanta proclaims the most awesome opposite after school special statement ever and, oooooh! I like Shue’s vest. I generally love everything Shue wears, but I am a lesbian so that makes sense.

Puck gets plucked outta class and a social worker ambushes him in Figgins’ office. He’s in breach of his probation. Puck flips out and KNOCKS THE FOLDER out the social workers HANDS. ANNNND he KNOCKS SOME BOOKS OFF OF FIGGINs’ desk! Ohhh MY!

Serious time, Blaine, which, btw, GOOD name. It’s sort of naughty and snooty sounding. I like it, I liiiike it… Blaine and Kurt decide to try and help the meathead in the closet. He isn’t very responsive to that and, even starts throwing his weight around again, this time with Blaine. Kurt pulls the meathead off Blaine and scares him away hopefully, for the last time. Kurt also reveals that the kiss from the meathead was his first kiss and Blaine offers to take him to lunch. I hope he takes him to Smooch Plantation instead of Breadstix. Wow! I’m clever. No I’m not.

The Shue finds the Beiste packin’ up her stuff and he tries to talk her into staying at McKinley. In the process, she reveals she too, has never been kissed… Come on, Will. You know what you have to do… Yeeees, you want her. Look at her, you know you do. Possible she wants you too. There is one way to ask her. It don’t take a word. Not a single word. Go on and kiss de girl. Sha la la la la la la, my oh my. Look like the boy too shy. Ain’t gonna kiss de-

201011120900
Oh, never mind. De boy kiss dee, dee uuuh, dee girl.

 

Heckling aside, this scene was really very dear. AND I believe the ol’ Beiste has something that most would say lack in the characters of Glee. Depth… Girthy depth.

Puck’s about to skip town but Artie talks him into staying. Artie is gonna help him with geometry and community service, to which Puck replies, “that’s dope, dude.” Then they do that vagina shaped handshake. ADORABLE!

Kurt is staring at his Blaine/courage alter in his locker when the meathead tackles him from behind and really seems to hurt him. The poor little guy just sits on the floors of the hallway defeated. Yeah, he’s totally heading to prep academy. But we knew that.

The boys of glee dedicate their En Vogue/Supremes mash-up to the Beiste. The “Free Your Mind” half wasn’t very girly but I suppose it’s the message they were after. The “Stop! In the Name of Love,” half however was kinda cute. At the end, they bring it in for a Beiste filled group hug and everyone lives happily ever after. Except for Kurt…

You guys is it me or is this season getting better and better with every episode? I LOVED this episode. More than the last. It felt very first half of the first season…

Anywho, my gleeloveds, thanks for sticking with me.

Talk at you next week.

Yours and everyone else’s,

BirschTalk

Glines O’ the Week

“I’m gonna have to go straight to the wound care center and stare at some wounds.” Sue

“Watch and learn young Jedi in a wheel chair.” Puck

“Watch your tone with me, missy. You crap on my leg, I’ll cut it off.” Beiste

“Finally occurred to them to stop singing about how awesome it is to be alive or ugly or whatever the point is you try to make.” Sue

“Can I just say that this is what happens when people don’t put out.” Santana

BirschTalk lives in Los Angeles, writing and performing comedy... What, are you writing a book?

26 Comments

  1. 1
    tvaholic
    Posted November 12, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    Oops-not to be picky Birsch but you had me confused. I’m on page 2, the girls mashed up “Start Me Up” with “Livin’ on a Prayer.” All I could think wasm they didn’t do Wilson-Phillips, did they? Ok, back to reading!

  2. 2
    tvaholic
    Posted November 12, 2010 at 2:29 pm

    Birsch-I totally agree, I loved this epi too! And I cannot stand Katy Perry, yet I totally enjoyed the Warbler’s version. I also liked how rather than turn the gay meathead into a stereotypical oops I’m gay isn’t that hilarious & we all live happily ever after type of thing, it seemed incredibly realistic & I was moved. This is the Glee I fell in love with-equal parts camp, great music, zippy one-liners, and heart-felt drama.

  3. 3
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted November 12, 2010 at 4:11 pm

    They wanted the Halloween one to fall on the Tuesday before Halloween so they skipped that first Tuesday and then Fox pre-empted on 11/2 for election results.

  4. 4
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted November 12, 2010 at 4:33 pm

    The writers seem more open to developing other characters this season and giving a break to Rachel, Finn, Will and Sue so it feels more like an ensemble. And it’s a pretty talented cast so why not spread the wealth. Naya Rivera’s been this year’s discovery.

    And I always love when they let Kevin McHale sing. He was great in both “One Love” and “Free Your Mind.” Sadly, CHORD OVERSTREET wasn’t as strong on “Stop In the Name of Love.” Cute, certainly and appropriate for the Bieste plotline, but it really should have been Kurt singing.

    In fact, that’s the one truly glaring oversight so far. Chris Colfer’s only had one good solo, beautiful though it may have been.

  5. 5
    kdfinjpn
    Posted November 12, 2010 at 6:17 pm

    Birsch – I’m with you! I loved this episode! I have it on Apple TV and have watched the Warblers song and the guys mash up over and over. Thanks for recapping.

  6. 6
    georgiababe
    Posted November 12, 2010 at 6:21 pm

    I love Darren Criss. Darren Criss, if you didn’t know, was made famous (ish) on YouTube when he starred as Harry Potter in “A Very Potter Musical”, put on by some recent grads of the University of Michigan. Being the Potterhead that I am, YouTube is where I found him last year (in a very well done musical, I must say) and so I FREAKED majorly when I found out that he was going to be on Glee. And then he goes and does one of the best songs ever. It’s a good time to love Darren Criss.

    I feel terrible for Dot Marie Jones, who plays Bieste. This whole episode was pretty much how unattractive and manly and undesirable she is. Ouch.

  7. 7
    georgiababe
    Posted November 12, 2010 at 6:22 pm

    And I forgot to say that Darren Criss plays Blaine, but you might have gotten that.

  8. 8
    juddfan
    Posted November 12, 2010 at 8:16 pm

    hmm . . . I thought this was the best episode evah, and for once, I’m feeling this recap is a little too breezy. There was a lot of talk and things skipped. I didn’t see the bully kiss coming, and it was a revelation on my end. I’m still thinking about that . . . he’s not just gay, he’s got a crush on Kurt, and was then rejected. He’s conflicted and filled with self-hate, so I can’t see this resolving in a hot second, but I surely hope they continue to explore this. Kid probably has an awful home life, etc, not that it excuses him for pushing Kurt around–never okay for me! The fact that he went back for more was also a jaw dropper (and my sad little inner gay would have smooched the hell out of that lug and hoped he didn’t beat me up after!)

    I too am a Teenage Dream fan, oh how I love that arrangement!

    I thought two shue’s kiss was a pity peck, and a little gross. I feel so bad that I actually thought Bieste was supposed to be a transexual . . . sigh . . . sorry Dot-Marie! Does she not look like John Lithgow in Garp!? Is it me!?

    Blaine was certainly dreamy, and I don’t think my inner gay teen has ever been more sweetly serenaded! I’m so thankful to Glee for giving Kurt such glee!

    The other stuff in the epi wasn’t too compelling. I hated that Quinn was such a B with that stupid speech–why can’t she just be nice. And tho I like evil Sue, I don’t get the Bieste hate, just budget, really!? That’s worth framing her for sexual harrasment . . .

  9. 9
    juddfan
    Posted November 12, 2010 at 9:08 pm

    I watched that scene, and listened to the download over and over too, kdfinjpn. The scene has more joy tho, and it skips the make-up line, which I found awkward. They should have skipped it for both. All worse with the auto tune, but still awesome. Really wish they could refrain from the opening lines, coz it really stands out in headphones over less backing. And it would be nice for it to be more human and heart felt. I know they tune and dub K Perry too, but she sounds great on her track. IMHO. But this version is AMAZING!!! Why oh why do I have to knitpick . . . sigh . . .

  10. 10
    C in Chicago
    Posted November 12, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    I liked the episode but I think it doesn’t bode particularly well for where the story is going. I’m kind of afraid that Kurt will end up with abusive jock/bully dude after a sojourn at the private school. The combination of ‘homophobia is self-inflicted damage’ is tired, old and largely the exception to the rule.

    And ‘hey, getting together with an abusive, self-loathing jerk is a good idea’ would be an awful misstep for the show and Kurt as a character.

    Also, I have to admit that while I’m a huge Glee fan, with the exception of ‘Teenage Dream’, I found the musical numbers this week to be, well, weak.

  11. 11
    C in Chicago
    Posted November 12, 2010 at 9:14 pm

    Whoops, sorry for the editorial screw-up there. It should have read:

    The combination of ‘homophobia is self-inflicted damage’ (a cliche that is tired, old and largely the exception to the rule) and ‘hey, getting together with an abusive, self-loathing jerk is a good idea’ would be an awful misstep for the show and Kurt as a character.

  12. 12
    kdfinjpn
    Posted November 12, 2010 at 9:25 pm

    I just started watching Glee this season and I don’t know all the cast members yet. I know that Beiste is new this year, but I seriously thought they had a man dressed as a woman playing that part. I feel bad thinking that now that I find out I’m wrong. I do wonder how hard it is for people to be cast for their type, but hope she (Dot) is laughing all the way to the bank.

  13. 13
    juddfan
    Posted November 12, 2010 at 10:24 pm

    C in Chicago, And ‘hey, getting together with an abusive, self-loathing jerk is a good idea’ would be an awful misstep for the show and Kurt as a character.

    You are so right and I am so wrong. But I know this about myself . . . ;)

  14. 14
    juddfan
    Posted November 12, 2010 at 10:35 pm

    I got comment 13!

    kdfinjpn, my head hanging in shame-me too! ugh! Thanks for standing in the spanking line with me. For what it’s worth, I read an interview with Dot-Marie (she’s oddly not on IMDB-I checked) she was an almost olympian and otherwise titled shot putter, I think, and was once a sort of American Gladiator. She sounded chill and cool! Go Dot!!!

  15. 15
    georgiababe
    Posted November 13, 2010 at 1:01 am

    juddfan – Dot-Marie is on IMDB, but she is listed on there (as well as on Wikipedia) as Dot Jones. And her headshot on IMDB is actually quite beautiful, she looks much less gruff with long hair.

    I also read an interview with her and she sounds like a pretty cool lady. And she actually once played a transsexual in a Ryan Murphy show (that didn’t last long). I imagine that, given her height (6’1) and her incredible strength – like dead-lifting 518 lbs (!) she is used to being typecast and just kind of lets it roll off her shoulders. Not much else she can really do, I guess.

  16. 16
    kdfinjpn
    Posted November 13, 2010 at 1:59 am

    juddfan – thanks for standing in line with me! Now you just have to tell me what IMDB is – I’m old and out of touch!! Or perhaps I’m just technically challenged and don’t want to cop to being old yet!

  17. 17
    jarthon jarthon
    Posted November 13, 2010 at 2:38 am

    I kinda want Kurt to get with Karofsky. I never realized how hot Karofsky was until they did the close-up shots of him this week and I feel Kurt just pushed him away in shock (and the fact he’s in head-over-heels for Blaine). Plus if that does happen, it shows viewers that everyone deserves a second chance.

    As to Kurt changing school, I don’t see it happening, especially with his dad just getting out of the hospital (I know it seems like it was forever ago, but it was only 3 episodes ago) and he can’t afford it.

    And I may have read this wrong, especially since I can’t remember where I read it, but the whole Kurt/Karofsky thing blows up cause authority actually does something about how Kurt gets bullied and the whole reasoning behind why Karofsky is the way he is gets cleared up (but like I said, I might be epically wrong about that).

  18. 18
    Pikey
    Posted November 13, 2010 at 4:16 am

    I was infuriated by the kiss in the locker room and terrified for Kurt when he went in there to confront his bully. To me the entire show was about bullying – Karofsky bullied Kurt violently, Sue bullied Beiste in trying to get her fired, Beiste was bullied by the kids in using her to cool their libido, Puck bullied the girls into going out to dinner…

    The actor playing Kurt was amazing in his reaction to the kiss and Karovsky was incredibly scary/scared in his portrayal – the small whimper that escaped during the kiss was so sad – but I still hated his increasingly violent treatment of Kurt and am concerned for what direction they are taking this story. I hope they don’t have Kurt ending up in hospital or Karovsky commiting suicide because he cannot handle who he is.

    Sorry to be so serious everyone!

  19. 19
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted November 13, 2010 at 7:41 am

    Didn’t they show Kurt in the private school jacket in the end-of-episode promo after the Rocky Horror episode? I thought the bullying and Kurt going to Dalton was setting us up for Kurt switching schools, because Murphy seems to think it’s the easiest thing to do and there are no school districts and the son of a single, small business owning dad who’s currently on medical leave can just up and switch schools to a posh, private school which probably has a waiting list and the tuition is out of the Hummel’s budget, as Blaine pointed out.

    Much like the baby storylines from last season, Kurt switching schools is one of those “plot twists” that no one really mapped out before they introduced it. Sometimes this show confuses “suspension of disbelief” with “shit we throw in for no good reason.”

  20. 20
    BirschTalk
    Posted November 15, 2010 at 5:31 pm

    tvholic, yes you’re right, honey! My bad. Although Bon Jovi could be considered the Wilson Philips of rock… :)

  21. 21
    BirschTalk
    Posted November 15, 2010 at 5:33 pm

    vallegirl, yes, thought I saw Kurt in the school boy jacket as well. Also, thanks for answering my question! Makes sense.

  22. 22
    BirschTalk
    Posted November 15, 2010 at 6:00 pm

    judd, I’m sorry to disappoint, sweetheart… :( I, however, saw the bully kiss coming from a mile away. I had a feeling by the second time the meathead pushed Kurt that there had to be a reason for Karofsky specifically to do that, especially since he wasn’t paired up as usual with the other meathead. But I have always been of the opinion that homophobia is usually result of self-loathing…

    Good call on the Beiste looking like John Lithgow! BTW, no one should feel bad for their perception of that character. It is completely Murphy’s intention. As @kdfinjpn pointed out, she is laughing her way to the bank. And I really did mean it when I said her character has a great amount of depth. The only other character that even comes close to that amount of depth is Emma Pillsbury’s… Okay and maybe Sue Sylvester.

  23. 23
    tvaholic
    Posted November 15, 2010 at 8:07 pm

    I totally forgot to add this before, & this may date me, but it’s what I think of every time I hear the name Blain.
    “Blaine? That’s a major appliance, not a name!”

  24. 24
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted November 15, 2010 at 9:57 pm

    Oh, Ducky. I thought the exact same thing. And then I remembered how cute John Cryer was when he looked like Matthew Broderick when he was young and cute, too. And then I felt old.

  25. 25
    kdfinjpn
    Posted November 16, 2010 at 1:54 am

    tvaholic and vallegirl – guilty!! I remember those days well. Ahhh, makes me think about digging out an OMD CD except that they might have only had one good song!

  26. 26
    juddfan
    Posted November 18, 2010 at 2:49 am

    imdb is the internet movie data base with pretty much all the most current and thorough posts of pictures etc. I must be blind, or there was a recent change, coz meesa went up and down and up and down . . . . no Dot-tho I learned her name later.
    Personally, I have a thing for absolutely impossible relationships, so take all I say with a grain! I love for this to be where I can say what I (capital I) think!-Kah!

    Birsch, thanks oh so much for your sensitivity-I can totally accept that people saw it coming. I have the awesome ability (sometimes) to not think and just see, and in this case, no . . . not ever did I see it coming, but I thought it was pretty awesome, and I’m kinda scared that it ain’t gonna resolve the way I wish . . . Go Kurt tho!

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