Bachelor Pad Recap- Can You Spell Man Whore?

Recaps

By Jane and Blanche | Wednesday, August 29, 2012 | 10:35 am | 12 Comments
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Posted in: Bachelor Pad, Recaps

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We grew up on the prairie; Blanche is older and became blind by her teenage years... Jane is the adorable younger sister, known as "half -pint." Ok, so that's not true but we were raised in Texas, so kinda close.

We're all grown up now and are official card-carrying members of the Asshole Social Society, it's kinda like an exclusive country club, but for snarky  people who have no money, and would rather stay home talking to the tv than to other people.

Growing up we fought like crazy but only during the commercials... Now we're sisters that love and respect each other, only on the 8's tho (kinda like the weather channel...)

We love all reality tv and meat products.

We will try to make you laugh but a majority of the time we just make ourselves laugh so you may get a raw deal.

People love us! At least to our face they do, which is proper southern etiquette .

12 Comments

  1. 1
    TV Junkie
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 11:09 am

    Great review..I read that Kalon and Lindzi are still together..I’m surprised are you?? As for Chris and Rebound Girl..who can’t compare in looks to Emily…how stupid are you???!!! Chris is a horses ass (my mothers’ favorite term ..) does she really think that he could fall for her..he is a 25 year old guy who is shinning in the “glow” of his 5min. of fame light…he will drop your stupid ass the min. the show is over….Chris is anything but sincere..hell I even like Kalon better..and I couldn’t stand Kalon..but Lindzi has shown us his softer side…
    This show is full of surprises and I an loving it!!!
    PS .. I hope Chris will get thrown off next week …

  2. 2
    Honeybee
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    Jaclyn is a complete moron. Seriously.

    Ed had already been with Sarah, and somehow Jaclyn thinks that getting him next makes her better. Than Ed openly bitch-slaps her with a case of the thruths i.e. “I like you but not like that”. She is hurt and humiliated…and then goes back for seconds. He tells her again, this time in a way maybe she will hear it “there is someone else”. She accepts this for a while. Than at dinner decides to tell Ed he has made her look like a whole on TV because he slept with her. It was okay when she thought that he had feelings for her, but now that she knows he doesn’t she thinks she looks like a whore (btw, that is her word). He, now acutely aware that she has just called him out and most likely this will air on national TV decides that in an effort to not look like a total douche bag tells her; he likes her MOST in the house and would like to continue to sleep with her while they are on TV. However he is not ready to commit to a relationship with her. He also goes on to tell her that she is juvenile for wanting to “label” their non-existent relationship.

    So in summary, he doesn’t like you enough to date you in the house or the real world. He likes someone else…but would like to still have sex with you as long as long as we remain here. Because of all the girls here I like you best…k? Her response…well I like sleeping with him…and I don’t like being alone…and I don’t want to look like a whore on TV…but he said he likes be best here…but I don’t want to get hurt…YEAH A FWB DEAL IS TOTALLY AN AWESOME IDEA! I am so not going to regret this decision later.

    I am totally embarrassed to admit I watch this crap. But I do.

  3. 3
    considerthis
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    How many inches of fondation does Lyindzeyi (my favorite spelling bee word) wear and what shade of orange is it?

    Chris ranting about heartbreak and how he and Emily were just 3 other guys away from living happily ever after was so dillusional. Did you see the cast Chris? – Shady Hills Assited Living Facility and a Pagan Bike Rallies have waaay hotter men. You were 4th because of pity or maybe a rock paper scissors game the producers played but romance of the century gone awry was not the case.

    Edd is a dick and Jacklyn has a big honkin nose but with enough booze and lack of light anything can happen.

  4. 4
    random commenter
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    btw… Ed and Jaclyn had to go on the date together because they are playing as couples now and they were runner up in the spelling bee.

  5. 5
    lokest75
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    Did anyone catch why Jaclyn and Ed got to give the second roses and not Chris and Sara? I was confused about that.

  6. 6
    Danielle
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    Since when does the runner up get a date? I guess it was good timing to get one-on-one drama convo with those two. Whatever.

    “Sarah’s Katie Holmes, stroke victim, mouth thing is really starting to irritate us”
    Bwhahahahaha!!! Love that.

    Hate Ed. Always have. He’s such an idiot and gets away with so much from these stupid girls with major self esteem issues. Remember in Jillian’s season, on the overnight date, when he couldn’t get it up??? I’ll never forget it!!

    Oh, and I hate when people say they’re scared or have a phobia of flying on this show. Jacyln barely twitched getting into that helicopter. I would have been sobbing, shaking, digging my nails into someone’s leg…the works. And that’s AFTER the Xanax!!! :)

  7. 7
    carol
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    I thought the runner up getting the date but then being told they will not get to keep the roses was just dumb. I am pretty sure any one of the couples would have said no to the date in order to keep the rose.

    Kalon’s teeth are so annoying. They remind me of the fake teeth in “There’s Something About Mary”. I don’t know how I found this site (http://nealhamilagency.com/print_profile.aspx?profileCategory=1&profileType=1&Division=&id_profile=1974) but I did. It just makes me laugh.

    While watching this show, I actually timed it, not including the ads or the previously on and coming up. There is no reason why this show is 2 hours. It could be edited to fit one hour and would be a better show. I really dislike the ‘coming up’ part. It’s not like it is preview for next week, it is a preview for something that they will show in 3 MINUTES. Maybe ABC thinks the general viewers of this show are as dumb as the contestants. I personally think the smartest viewers of this show are the readers/bloggers on this site, we take what ABC gives us and serves it with a large hunk of snark.

  8. 8
    MrsMiaWallace MrsMiaWallace
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 12:02 am

    @carol – yes! I like to watch this show online because I can just skip right past all the coming up pieces and cut way down on the showtime.

    Also did they have to show SO MUCH spelling bee? Is there a more boring thing to watch a back and forth of? Editing that down could have saved us four hours!

    I like Ed, and think Jaclyn and anyone who sleeps with him is insane. He is an entertaining chimp of a fella and if you hook up with him you did it knowing you are fornicating with a monkey.

    Total highlight was the end reel where ed and sarah were pretending to be Tony and Blakely!

  9. 9
    jerseyj
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 6:28 am

    I’m not going to lie, I LOVE spelling bees on reality shows. Most of these couples don’t have two brain cells to share between them, and it amuses me to no end watching them try to something intellectual! They did one on the RW/RR challenge where they dropped them from planks into water when they got words wrong. They should have done that here too, it would have made it even better :)

    When Chris/Sarah were bragging about their win and being the “smartest in the house” all I could think was “congratulations you won the special olympics of spelling bees :) ”

  10. 10
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 6:41 am

    Jerseyj- “the special olympics of spelling bees” !!! I wish we’d thought of that- hilarious!!!!

    We don’t understand the 2 hour thing either- our other show, Hollywood Exes is a 1 hour show but we timed it without commercials or the “coming up’s” and it was 35 minutes long so it’s obviously a new TV trend. Past seasons of Bachelor Pad had 3 hour finale’s but this year it’s just listed as 2 hours so at least they threw us a bone there.

    Honeybee- TVgasm is like our support group for TV addicts, where we can all come and be embarrassed that we watch this crap together ;)

    LOL, Danielle, remind us not to fly with you!

    We think most of the ladies are wearing tons of make-up to better hide their age.

    Our hearts were warmed to hear Lindzi and Kalon were still together at first but we’re starting to hear rumors on the Twitter-verse to the contrary. Although Kalon tweets pics of them together and talks about her she NEVER tweets anything about him and now we here he went out with friends and was hitting on other women. So who knows what is really going on…

  11. 11
    melange
    Posted September 3, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    People partner up early because it’s strategically an advantage. You inherit your partner’s alliances, which means you’re less likely to be voted off. A partner’s required to win the endgame, so finding a good one early is smart.

    The genders take different approaches to this. The men first form alliances with each other, then create a network out of ‘their’ women. (I’m friends with/sleeping with/flirty with so-and-so, I’m sure she’ll vote with us).
    Some men create partnerships, others just fuck around and cycle through women interchangeably , as long as it doesn’t disrupt the male alliance. (No poaching your ally’s girl).

    Meanwhile, the women scramble around and fight over the ‘best’ alpha males, trying to secure firm partnerships right away with power players. Women that align with the fuckarounds end up in tears/drama.

    People that aren’t coupled at all either get voted off first, become swing votes, or are “spare parts” of alliances that become early casualties when the other team gets immunity. See: Erica Rose.

  12. 12
    itchy itchy
    Posted September 5, 2012 at 10:36 am

    This show runs long because they know their core audience (obese middle-aged born-again women in trailer parks) need that much time in order to get off.

    The “sudden twist” was surely designed to eliminate Kalon and whatsherface — in order to get that money-shot of a limo kiss. I could feel the tidal wave of the above audience’s you-know-what all the way over here in France.

    As for Hatchet Face, she clearly decided that a dick in the hand was worth two in the bush.

    But mostly, I think Sarah’s the hottest girl on the show. Seriously. But I also think Miley Cyrus is pretty. Guess I just like that snaggle-tooth look. But she’s definitely hotter than Emily the Ice Queen.

    I am enjoying seeing that Chris douchebag dig a deeper and deeper hole for himself. What a capital ass.

    And I’m almost caught up with the rest of you…

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