They get through the song with relatively no problem. Rachel carries Nick, again. Second to sing are Ed and Jaclyn. THEY TOTALLY FUCK THIS SONG UP! Jaclyn misses her intro and can’t remember the lyrics. Ed said he runs to this song, apparently he doesn’t run often. They both ask the band to start over. The band keeps playing, they would stop if it hadn’t been previously recorded. Ed and Jaclyn just end up gyrating all over each other to the crowd’s horror.
You may be a sister, but you ain’t no Christian.
Finally, Chris and Sarah take the stage. After all the crap Sarah has talked we are expecting a Grammy performance. Shockingly we didn’t get one. Christ! Sarah is a FREAK on stage! Add libbing to the song and dancing around like her hot pants are on fire. WTF?! Chris had the lyrics written on his arm, clever, but that should be automatic disqualification. We think Sarah was just hoping her striptease and “monkey electrocution” would divert the attention from the horrible noises coming out of their mouths. Sarah then tells the camera how much she think the judges looked like they were enjoying it, and thinks “they really have a good chance of winning this.” OK she’s fucking delusional.
THANK YOU PHOENIX!
Night Ranger gives their opinion of the performances. Here’s the thing. They were all bad. While we like this song, this part of the show was TORTURE for us. We honestly think they should play this to the terrorists. Rachel and Nick are the least of the 3 that sucked, so they get to choose who goes home. Nick and Rachel sit down to talk it out. Nick says “it’ll be easier to win against Chris and Sarah than Ed and Jaclyn.” That is sound logic, coming from a roid head. Rachel is upset because Jaclyn has been nothing but loyal to her. She’s BFF’s with Jaclyn and doesn’t want to betray her. Unfortunately she does, cuz “money is ugly.” Rachel and Nick kick off Ed and Jaclyn which leads to the ugly cries from Jaclyn. Jaclyn is PISSED! “She’s Dead to Me!”
The look of money shame
F that! that F’ing C*nt!
In coming on the show or in life general?
So that leads us to the final 4 and the final episode next week. Chris Harrison says it’s the most “shocking and the most disturbing finale ever!!” Dear Sweet Baby Jesus, please please please let the Wonder Twins return! So what did y’all think? Who’s gonna win? See ya in a few!
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