Bachelor Pad Recap: Nut Sacked and Bushwhacked

Recaps

By Jane and Blanche | Tuesday, August 7, 2012 | 10:37 pm | 10 Comments
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Posted in: Bachelor Pad, Recaps

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We grew up on the prairie; Blanche is older and became blind by her teenage years... Jane is the adorable younger sister, known as "half -pint." Ok, so that's not true but we were raised in Texas, so kinda close.

We're all grown up now and are official card-carrying members of the Asshole Social Society, it's kinda like an exclusive country club, but for snarky  people who have no money, and would rather stay home talking to the tv than to other people.

Growing up we fought like crazy but only during the commercials... Now we're sisters that love and respect each other, only on the 8's tho (kinda like the weather channel...)

We love all reality tv and meat products.

We will try to make you laugh but a majority of the time we just make ourselves laugh so you may get a raw deal.

People love us! At least to our face they do, which is proper southern etiquette .

10 Comments

  1. 1
    MrsMiaWallace
    Posted August 7, 2012 at 11:08 pm

    Great recap!

    I love that this show is the antithesis of the Bachelor franchise where everyone is so carefully scripted to look as though they all live in a fairy tale. Now we have the sad slutty std-riddled truth and it’s much more fun to watch!

    I know Michael had to have won the race when the footage only showed David eating the cherry. Since we all have “photo finish” capabilities and they didn’t want to get called out on it. That outcome would’ve been too boring and David would’ve been gone.

    Watching Jamie break down is very satisfying. She was the one who had the cringeworthy make out session on her season that was the most awkward thing I’ve ever seen on TV – “Close your mouth, now open your mouth, now slow, now hard”. I was wondering when the crazy would re-emerge. Did you note her immediately after the rejection saying “I could have had it if I had really wanted it”… no, you tried everything from begging to threatening. She is very troubling and her whole “I need to prove I am a real woman and can please him” is the same thing she said on her season… I smell something truly weird in her past.

    How photogenic is Blakely??? Every prom picture of her was gorgeous

    How lame are these “dates”? That prom looked even sadder than a real prom. Rachel and Michael found some bench inside a diorama to cuddle on… weird.

  2. 2
    Pikey578
    Posted August 7, 2012 at 11:13 pm

    On The Bachelor, Jamie explained that her mother had issues with drugs and started leaving the family alone, first on weekends and then never came back. Jamie then raised her siblings by herself and never had a chance to be a teenager. Guess that is why she is so socially awkward. This girl desperately needs some therapy!

    I am amazed at Ed`s comment re his valuing people – he admitted to the tabloid rumors that he was a cheater, treated Jillian (and his then-girlfriend) like crap, and has already `hooked up`with two women on the show – demonstrating how much he `values` people.

    Such a train wreck of a show – and so hard to stop watching…

  3. 3
    emptymailbox
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 1:02 am

    I like Jamie. She’s awkward, but I find it cute. It’s a shame she’s attracted to guys that have no interest in her; she’d get the attention she’s looking for pretty easily if she’d stop throwing herself at sociopaths.

  4. 4
    carol
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 2:44 am

    So, this past weekend while channel surfing, I stopped on VH1 when I saw Erica Rose. I was wondering why VH1 would be showing any of the Bachelor franchise stuff. She was on another reality show ‘You’re Cut Off’. I didn’t watch a lot of it, but it was awful tv. Did she do this before or after entering the Bachelor stuff?

    I actually wasn’t sure if Donna was really going to go since she didn’t get a lot of screen time this episode. Well played editors. But then during the voting/cocktail reception, they edited her to look like a crazy person who couldn’t really speak in front of other people.

    I do like the fact that they show the names and ages every time someone is on screen, I still can’t tell a lot of them apart. Does anyone else agree that these people are totally lying about their ages? There is no way some of those girls are in their mid 20s.

  5. 5
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 7:37 am

    Well that explains why Erica has so many tiaras. If we had to guess what other reality show she had been on we would have guessed Rock of Love, she seems more like Bret Michaels type…

  6. 6
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 8:25 am

    I keep having to ask Blanche ” which one it that again?” lol all the brunettes look alike AND look sooooo old!
    @Carol- I don’t think it was editing…we really don’t think she can speak in front of others. lol and then she was so shocked in the limo! WTF?! if you wanted to use the strategy of “my legs open at 5″ then you should have used it right off the bat!

  7. 7
    unwise
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 10:22 am

    This Scorpio can tell you that Blakely’s comment is not typical of Scorpios. Of lunatics, yes, not Scorpios.

  8. 8
    juddfan
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 11:01 am

    Blakely finished her stinging comment with “in retrospect” I will sting you in retrospect . . . is retrospect a new word for ass?

    This is my first time (unlike many of the contestants) watching this train wreck . . . i really can’t remember most of these people, Ed yes, but Reid . . . no . . . weird right!? I’ve seen some of the franchise, probably more ette’s, so I’m at a total loss on the grrrrls . . .. as to the ages, well, there’s one blonde in there who ain’t looking too fresh . . . no idea who she is.

    Ed seems to be a total douche, but he’s the only one remotely attractive to me. Was Jamie at the prom the same one as “It’s me, not you”? Kinda weird to go from that prom date to wanting to hook up with another house slut!?

    Thanks for the capping Jane and Blanche, or whichever one of your personalities you are today.

    ; )

    PS. Like, they’re not really hooking up, right? In that little tent? They were faking it totes, right!?

  9. 9
    SuburBint
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 6:44 pm

    I never invoke my sign when I’m talking about my behaviour either, but I’m a Leo and we’re better than that.

  10. 10
    Melissa
    Posted August 12, 2012 at 7:19 am

    Amber Rose was also on two DrPhil shows about “spoiled & entitled” girls. Her mom or maid does everything or her. Some of her crowns cost $10,000 – $40.000. Her and other spoiled idiot on show were even brought back for an update show cause they were so over over the top. I believe at the time she said she had been on two other reality shows. The second Dr Phil show she claimed to play dumb blonde “as part of her sense of humor” but people did not “get it” SO she was going to finish law degree!?
    Don’t think that happened & she needs better get some new hair extensions and to wash her hair!

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