I think this has been the longest season ever. But it’s finally reunion time!!!
Damn Perez looks fabulous!
The show starts off with flash backs to the girls fighting, the many jumps I should say. Each girl has a little snippet of something to say about what they are going to do to so and so when they see them and then Tanisha brings Gia, Amy, Elease, Mimi and Erica out. When she sees Mimi’s new hair, she has the same look I had.
Wait until you see it from the front.
After all the bitches have hugged Tanisha we get started. Tanisha starts off with a lie by saying everyone looks good. She also says she hopes they all brought their own make up artist and some extra weave.
No one with the word Artist in their title did that.
Next she looks over at Gia who she can’t believe has clothes on. Neither can I. Ok time to get started. As Tanisha says, we started out with 7 girls but this season was like musical chairs as bitches got clawed out, thrown out and shoved out. Pretty much like every season.
Tanisha asks them how hard was it to survive. And now begins the portion of the show I hate most. If you don’t direct a question at one particular bitch they will ALL talk over each other. Amy and Mimi start answering but ultimately Mimi explains that you have to be tough and it’s hard and stuff. I just can’t stop looking at her head.
Guess she won’t have to worried about being snatched bald tonight.
Gia pipes up with,” it was whatever, fuck, it was whatever.”Laughs all around. Tanisha asks if anyone learned anything. Oh jeez, Erica learned to appreciate what she has back home and that you have to be mentally strong to make it in the house, it has nothing to do with physical. Oh so that’s why y’all kept beating each others ass with your brain waves! Dumbass.
Tanisha asks if Amy agrees and she does and says she was getting drunk every single day. Tanisha basically says no shit.
Girl you better put down that bottle and pick up some moisturizer!
Tanisha was surprised by Amy and had her counted out by day two. She tells her she has a little “hood” in her. She says she grew up like that. Tanisha turns to Elease and asks her how she survived because she had it rough. She says she survived by being the naturally strong person she is. And she wants world peace. What the fuck am I watching the Miss America pageant?
Elease says she didn’t really learn anything but she was strong before and she is stronger now and says she loves the girls WHO FUCKING JUMPED HER ASS. Seriously, is this even the right show? Am I sleep recapping?
Time for Erica to pretend she’s a good person by saying what they did was wrong and by no means right. Tanisha and the audience clap. Then she starts to tear up and says that she and Gia went out on the anniversary of her dad’s death and bought her a mattress because that’s how bad she felt. Sniff sniff.
Ya know color blocking is not for everyone.
Tanisha starts clapping and says that’s what it’s all about. Learning from your mistakes. When she asks Gia what she learned she says not shit. She then gets a little snippy with Tanisha which leads me to believe the bitch is drunk. The audience is turning on her ass quick as she says she likes, to party get drunk, blah blah blah. She claims she’s a good person at heart and the audience cracks up. She starts waving her hand at them and saying y’all don’t know me.
Tanisha tells everyone to pipe down and the we go to a clip of the first night where Amy fights just about anyone who moves. She shoves Gia clear across the room. Apparently this audience member has never seen the show.
Calm down Pocahontas it only gets worse from here.
They show Amy shoving Mimi then scratching her face. All the girls are laughing as they watch this. Neither Amy nor Gia remember any of it. Tanisha asks Gia how she became so gangsta. OMG she says ,” I’m about that and I ain’t scared so if you think you about that life then walk up on the stage.” As she keeps yapping about not being scared some audience members make some comments about being able to beat her ass and Gia tells them to come find her ass on Twitter.
Be careful, haven’t you heard? She bout that life!
Tanisha changes the subject and asks Mimi how she was able to forgive Amy even though she was constantly knocking her ass out? Mimi says she wasn’t raised to fight and she can’t fight as America has seen but she’s a real woman and as a woman she sees that Amy made a mistake (or 12) and that also what happened between she and Amy was their business and other people needed to stay out of it and fuck off. Tanisha then asks Mimi to do her impression of drunk, angry crazy eyed Amy.
Looks about right to me.
After the laughter dies down Tanisha announces that a true Bad Girl isn’t afraid to go out with a bang and some other crap and out comes Chlamydia. And the audience cheers the shit out of her.
Sorry, still can’t stand her.
Flashback to when she arrived at the house and all the fights leading up to when she was sent packing. The other five girls look pissed and Tanisha is smiling from ear to ear as Chlamydia says about the audience, “They want me to pop off.” Then she announces that they better remember they are on the West Coast so don’t get it twisted. DON’T GET IT TWISTED!” I’m with Mimi when she says what does that even mean. Oh I forgot it probably means she has her Mom and 18 cousins waiting outside to jump them.
She announces she has a gift for them and throws a small blonde weave at Mimi who throws it across the floor and a longer one to Amy. She then asks Mimi about her trademark hair and calls her Fantasia. Mimi ignores her and Chlamydia tells her to keep ignoring her it’s the smartest move for her.
Tanisha tells her she puts the bad in bad ass and asks her what it feels like to see her haters. She tells her to “look at their faces they look a mess.” More laughs. Someone please jump across that stage and stop looking like wounded birds.
Tanisha now has us flash back to where all the hate started. Beginning with Amy and Chlamydia’s shower adventure. The other girls act like they had no clue it happened. After their whatever in the shower Amy doesn’t want to get out and get a towel and Chlamydia won’t hand her one. They show Amy basically begging Chlamydia to let her put clothes on before she touches her and Chlamydia tells that in Long Beach those are fighting words. Ok.
They then show them fighting like crazy all the while Chlamydia is screaming “I’m not the one!”
Look how shocked Mimi is.
Tanisha tells them she is speechless that they went from hot girl on girl action to a throw down. They both act like it’s no big deal now and Amy compares Chlamydia to a preying mantis and everyone is laughing. Tanisha asks Erica if she was mad she missed out and she said NO, they were drunk and fooling around in her bedroom and she knew something was going to happen.
Elease tells everyone that Chlamydia took advantage of Amy because she was too drunk to know what she was doing. Chlamydia points out that Amy was always drunk.
Next we move on to Chlamydia snatching Mimi’s weave out and as they go to the clip you hear Mimi say, “Oh hell I’m about to get snatched.” LOL.
They show the fight over the mattress and Mimi’s eventual weave snatching. When Chlamydia tries to explain why she moved Elease’s mattress to start with, Elease tries to butt in and say some thing and Chlamydia tells her she doesn’t want to talk to her. She says, “We can sing together but we cannot talk boo.”
Chlamydia says Elease was fake and she didn’t want her in her room and she doesn’t ask if she can do something she just does it because she’s a Bad Girl. Mimi tries arguing but I can’t make out what she’s saying.
Tanisha then asks Erica why she got involved. Erica denies getting involved and Tanisha says yes you did, I saw you swinging and you do that a lot. Erica explains that they made a pact that if anyone messes with anyone elses bed they would put a stop to it. Tanisha reminds her of the pact that they made to get rid of any replacement that came and then asks who came up with that stupid ass idea lololol.
Chlamydia wants to know when did it become “Let’s get in the BGC and see who the baddest girl is?” Tanisha says it’s not about that. Really? Cause I thought the title pretty much spelled it out. Tanisha is beginning to confuse me.
Tanisha asks Chlamydia who she has the biggest beef with and she says none of them because they ain’t worth it. Then she goes on and on about Elease. They start arguing, Mimi and Chlamydia that is and suddenly Elease is involved too and then it’s on.
What a shock.
Now it’s a free for all and then Tanisha pulls one of her signature moves.
That’s right, she’s banging pans together. And she is pissed.
She starts screaming that ain’t nobody jumping nobody in here and to stop that shit. Once everyone is pulled apart Chlamydia keep shouting about how she’ll come to Miami cause she’s on the West Coast and Elease says some shit about the 305 and on and on and then everyone sits the fuck back down.
Tanisha redirects everyone’s attention and brings out Christine.
Flashback to all that went down and when she walks out Chlamydia actually smiles and says, “Hey boo.” Tanisha asks her why she even came? She says that normally she wouldn’t let people treat her that way but……cut to more clips of the hyenas getting rid of her. The sluts make excuses about jumping her but basically Tanisha just wants to know how she could have just let them grab her like that without fighting back. Christine mumbles some bullshit about not knowing any of them personally and Tanisha loses it and says she sounds like Miss America right now lol.
Tanisha goes to Chlamydia and says she turned on her newbie friend like a rabid dog and she gives the same lames ass excuse about how thousands tried out for BGC and she took someones place and crap. Yeah for 48 hours you bitch. Suck it.
They chat more with her and finally Tanisha decides since she was only in the house 48 hours it’s time to move on. Thank God.
As Tanisha says, these bitches thought they would make it to the end but they were wrong, yep it’s the Twat Twins.
Someone made a comment about them wearing double spanx and if you look at Gabi’s cheesy thigh you can see them lol. When Gabi first came out she was reaching under the couch for what she called her drink. Tanisha calls them SpongeBob and Dani says they are SpongeBob 1 & 2. It seems they a brought a script for Elease because they say she was scripted all season. They read,”Elease, since you can’t think of anything to say we wrote you a script. P.S. You suck. Probably dick.” Elease reaches over and tries to grab at something.
Tie their weaves together and throw them over a clothes line.
They pull apart but Gabi seems to have dropped her “drink” and slips on it and almost falls.
I just can’t imagine what they were planning to do with that. FAIL!
Gia is now pissed because it got on her custom made jumpsuit and as she is walking off stage some girl from the audience says, “You suck Gia.”
Cut to Tanisha who wants to know why they would bring syrup but no pancake?? LOL ya gotta love her.
Gia comes back and the same girl is still heckling her. Tanisha asks her if she’s good and she says,”Yeah I want the audience to shut the fuck up.” Boos from the audience and she tells them they couldn’t make the cut for BGC. Tanisha can’t get these people under control and Erica steps out into the audience and tells them they have enough issues of their own without dealing with the audience too. Gia shouts that the bitch looks like a bum. The bitch says..
I think she may explode.
On and on it goes until security decides the audience bitch has to go but not before Gia gives her a gift.
That is just foul.
A fight breaks out and while Tanisha is watching as well as everyone else, Chlamydia does what she does best…….
Again, I am so shocked.
Chlamydia is beating the crap out of Elease while the other bitches are fighting, security is everywhere and Tanisha is blowing fuck out of a whistle.
Elease and Chlamydia are broken apart but Elease goes right back to her talking about catching a bitch off guard and they are fighting again. Looks like Chlamydia clocks Elease right in the face and she hits the floor.
Chlamydia is taken out and Tanisha says lets keep this train moving. More like a train wreck. She says hello to the Twats and tells them they were bullies and gave a whole new meaning to the words mean girls. Then they show clips of their bullying crapfest.
Gia returns mumbling to the audience and Tanisha asks her if she’s good and she says she’s, “Gucci.”
Tanisha then asks the Twats why they felt the need to keep torturing Elease, Gabi gives the lame ass excuse that she has anger management problems and she’s working on them.
More like rabies.
Dani and Gabi agreed that it did get old after the mattress and after Flo Rida came and they realized she wasn’t that bad. Tanisha said, “Why because Flo Rida came?” Laughs galore. It seems the Twats have no beef with Elease………..then what the fuck was the “script” and the maple syrup for? Gabi does however have issues with Erica and says that everything she ever said was bullshit. She wishes they had just been friends with Gia and then everything would have been fine. Somehow I doubt that.
Tanisha then turns our attention to what she calls the most epic fight in BGC history and shows the clip of the Twats getting their asses handed to them. During the clip they are showing Gia throwing food around and Dani starts saying, “Trash trash trash.” Gabi reminds her they did the same thing so that’s a double standard. Dani is an idiotic bitch who thinks she owns the world so the rules don’t apply to her.
They start going back and forth about how many jumped how many and Gia and Gabi agree they were all wrong. Dani looks like she smells feet.
Tanisha asks Mimi if she feel she broke the code by going against the Haitian Twat Twins and basically no she doesn’t.
Oh hell Chlamydia is back. She sits her ass down and they continue to talk about the jumping of the twins. Then Dani goes on a rant about how she’s glad they jumped them, it shows you can whoop her ass but she is still gonna do what she wants and it ultimately made them stars.
Have a safe trip back to planet Delusion bitches.
Tanisha asks Amy why she never picked sides and she says because she’s a grown ass woman and doesn’t have to. She can like who she likes. Plus I think she was probably too drunk most of the time to remember who she was supposed to be mad at.
Dani starts yapping about Amy talking shit behind their backs and this somehow turns into Erica telling them they ain’t behind no computer and can’t cyber bully anyone here. They act like they don’t know what she means and she says everyday they post something new about one of them.
Tanisha wants to know what’s going on and Mimi explains that the Twats have the biggest balls ever on the internet all the while they are screaming about Erica talking about them. And then my DemonVR cut off.
I will assume that this fight will escalate since we get to spend another hour with these bitches next week.
Love & Smooches,
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