Bad Girls Club Recap: Sister Slack

This week the Twats get a big old surprise in the form of Elease’s sister. See other people have them too. But before that PigFace is annoyed with them because they broke Mimi’s chain and won’t admit it. Hey CarrotCunt, you were there too, why don’t you tell them?

Anyway they want to go shopping but PigFace wants a quick in and out much like my husband.

Dani overhears Piggy talking and tells us that it’s not cool and it’s childish…………seriously? You and your Twin Twat are the queens of behind the scenes shit talking. Go pierce your ass crack you waste of space.

Off shopping the happy trio goes. Meanwhile Elease gets a call from her sister telling her when she will be arriving.

It really should be illegal to name your child while sneezing.

Elease is excited because so far the Twats have had an advantage over her with it being 2-1. Now with sis arriving it will be 2-2. Ha I bet all you will see is four flabby ass cheeks bouncing in the wind.

Later PigFace asks Elease where she and sis will sleep. Elease says she’ll sleep in the VIP room as always but her sis is gonna have a  problem with that.

Let me get this straight…..Flabby is so NOT afraid of Elease’s sis coming over that she has to say it over and over and over.

Really, I am NOT afraid…can we leave the light on.

Later Schizo opens a soda bottle and it spews like it’s her first time being jizzed on.

Off to a restaurant they go. PigFace asks Elease if she thinks she will last the whole 3 months. She says of course, she’s a strong person. Mimi thinks it shows character to last until the end. One of the Twats asks Elease if she thinks they will fist fight again.

That would imply you ever used your fists you hair pulling mutants.

Back at the house they realize they forgot to get toilet paper so the Twats just scrub their asses on the carpet like when they are at home.

One of the Twats says she feels like going to the gym and training like “Rocko.” Her other stupid half says this.

Nice math Gump, wanna try counting those toes now?

Never mind pretty sure there’s six on each hoof. Well well well it seems the Twats are afraid that Elease and her sis will beat the shit out of them. Flabby’s main concern? Not getting her snot locker broken. Oh well we all have priorities.

Elease runs off to get her sis at the airport.

Schnail may be a wonderful girl but I will never remember how to spell that and I assume she will be mentioned a lot!

Schnail asks about the twats and if they have their own separate beds. Elease says yes and something tells me that’s gonna be changing real soon.

Back at home Twat 1 or 2, is talking to dear old Daddy. She’s afraid Elease and her sis are gonna jump them tonight. Dad’s all, “What is dis, high school? Nobody jumps nobody.” Apparently Dad has a drinking issue because he’s been told more than once that 6 girls jumped Elease the first night she was there. Dani also says that Elease is targeting she and Flabby for “some reason.” Oh you mean like how you have consistently been trying to rip her brains out by her hair/weave? HAAAAAAAAATE!

Her Dad tells her to watch her back and she says she doesn’t want to look like a punk. Hahahahahahahaaha toooooooooooo late bitch.

While Elease and sis make the rounds, the others are plastering their faces and Flabby announces that Schnail is “sketchy”. NO ONE SAYS A WORD. Not even Dani her faithful cockroach.

PigFace is tickled shitless because she is sure that Elease and sis has something cooked up for the Twats and she can’t wait!

Immediately Dani starts shit talking, not to Schnail but about her and how she looks 45 years old. Nice coming from someone who by the time they are 45 is gonna look they were caught in a big mouth bass fishing contest and put up quite a struggle. Awww I bet your grand kids will be able to stick their tiny little fingers through the holes in your lip. Family traditions, ain’t they sweet?

Oh sweet Lord the Twats have signs. Rescue signs. This one means awkward turtle come rescue me.

You should probably have that tattooed on your forehead witch.

Downstairs Elease and sis are looking at their pics and talking about how some dude wrote gorgeous and different things on them. Flabby walks in and asks what they are doing and they tell them. Well Flabby heard a different story and goes upstairs to tell the others that she “caught” them creeping around their pictures and she said that they probably wrote that shit themselves.

Hahhahahahaha! PigFace tells Flabby basically to either stop talking to Elease and sis or go say something to their faces. That she ain’t nobody’s pit bull. I want to say something so bad right now but I’ve had pits in the past and they were loving and adorable so I refuse to compare PigFace to a Pit Bull.

Erica decides she doesn’t want to go out and Schnail decides she’s leaving all her shit out in the open and dares a bitch to fuck with it.

Dipshits show up to a White Party and they are NOT wearing white. Did they think only white folks could come? Just sayin.

Dani explains to us that she doesn’t like wearing white because it makes you look ten pounds fatter.

And all the other colors add what, 15-20lbs?

Back at the house PigFace is whining to Mommy about how the twins run the house and she can’t wait until someone stands up to them. Here’s a suggestion…why don’t YOU? Why don’t you grab one of yo “red bottoms” and wail on a bitches head? WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK!

Oh Jeez, at the party Mimi decides they need to poor out a lil for all the dead homies in the house.

Gone too soon…………..

Cut down in the prime of his life…

If only he’d learned to swim…..

Cheap piece of crap.

Petri dish.

Flabby gave them fungus.

Also known as a salad bar.

Aren’t we forgetting someone???? Oh yeah Larry the stuffed skunk that Schizo claimed she’d kill for. She hasn’t even noticed he’s gone.

Poor Larry

After the Memorial, the bitches headed off to ClubFuckaDuck to get their drink and dance on. Flabby notices that Elease and her sis are talking and she tells us that if they get up to leave you better believe she will follow them! Why? Hoping to catch a glimpse of their Hello Kitty? Paranoid twit! In the next breath the twit wants to leave. It seems she is allergic to fun. Unless it’s in a group that’s beating the shit outta one girl.

Elease notices that Flo Rida and Pleasure P have arrived and they are happy. Of course Flabby just thinks they look like groupies. Does this whore ever smile unless she’s pushing old ladies down stairs?

Well well well, look who has just joined the groupies by shouting, “We’re in the BGC” “We’re twins.” Why don’t you just suck him right there?

Schizo doesn’t seem all that impressed and they decide to leave. Mimi is drunk off her ass and talking about raising kids while being a skate boarder. In confessional she asks why she isn’t sinning and then does this.

She’s fluent in 3 languages with that thing.

Mimi finally passes out so Schizo and Stinky think this is a great time to rip her curtains open and run like hell. As does Mimi. Who yells, screams, throws shit and then stumbles downstairs.

The next day Elease calls and invites Flo Rida and Pleasure P over for a pool party. Yay, what could possibly go wrong? They order a very small cake and the BGC initials are actually spelled BCG lol. Schizo and Dani are trying to act like it’s no big deal, they see rappers all the time in the hood yo.

The guys arrive with some booze and a bus full of bitches. And suddenly there’s a food fight.

I know he doesn’t think he’s about to get a tossed salad with frosting.

A couple of big dudes jump in the pool, I’m sure the water will fall back to earth soon. Dudes start rapping and PigFace starts oinking. Off to the pole we go where Stinky shows her stuff.

I think the pole is impaled in her anus.

Next thing ya know Pleasure P is the meat in a Elease and Schnail sammich. Elease tells him that the bitches jumped her and of course the all hearing Dani runs and tells what they said. Which was basically that she and her sis are gonna whoop some Twat ass. They are telling this to PigFace who informs us that she ain’t no triplet and they don’t want to do nothing without her and they are popping more shit than their ass can cash so, too bad, so sad DIE BITCHES DIE!!!

The party starts winding down and Stinky joins the “groupie” haters and the dudes leave. PigFace decides they need to have a house meeting so Flabby and Dani will stop pooping their pants.

Please don’t hurt me.

PigFace lays it all on the table and tells the twins that Elease and her sis were joking when they said they were gonna beat them up. Flabby speaks up and says she knew that and had already told PigFace that. PigFace is ill because she said no such thing. So by the end of the meeting all is love and hugs and fake ass shit.

Time to go out. For some. Mimi,the Twats,Elease and sis are going to a country bar. Yeeeehaaaaaawwwwwwwwwww!

As usual the Twats bitch and complain about “the locals”. Then they say this….

And herpes infested brain dead twits are disgusting.

After much more bitching they all leave and in the limo Flabby makes some comment about PigFace’s Luis Vuitton and Dani actually says she had to work hard for that then Elease speaks up about them ruining her Gucci  shoes and the twins swear they didn’t touch them. Then Dani tells Elease that it was PigFace and Stinky who did it.

Elease’s sis leaves and they are surprised the Twats didn’t start anything. I’m not. The odds were even. Now that she’s gone they start talking about starting shit because they are bored and nothing ever happens without them and waaaaahhh.

The decide to go get tatts. Yay. Dani and Flabby argue so much about what tatt to get that the others leave to go to Burger King. Wish I could. I’m starving.

Anyway Dani screams like a bitch the whole time but gets the shit done.

That’s attractive.

Flabby talks trash about Stinky and PigFace the whole time they are gone and in the end doesn’t even get a tatt.

Back at the house, Elease makes a date with Marcus aka Pleasure P. Their date starts off really well.

Looks like love to me.

Of course The Twats think he is unattractive and not their type.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Good thing since he didn’t ask your nasty asses out.

The date seems to be going really well especially when he suggests they get really drunk and go get married. Before they leave, he buys candy baskets for her and all her roommates. When they first get back to the house Flabby looks all pissed until she finds out there is a gift involved. Have I mentioned I hate her? PigFace is all hate hate hate too until suddenly a pillow fight breaks out and I think he might have won the cunts over.

Bitch I’ll knock them fake titties so hard they’ll wrap around your waist!

This goes on for a while and it’s hilarious. Meanwhile after he leaves, Stinky,PigFace and Flabby decide the house is boring and they need to do something. Mimi and Elease bond. Flabby decides she wants to fight anyone.

And, she will make your lives a living hell.

I don’t know about you guys but I is skeerd!

Until next time,

Love and Smooches,

Cherie

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