Bad Girls Club Reunion (Part 2)

So, we are finally at the end.  I want to thank you guys for seeing this through with me. I have to confess that I hate the 2nd part of any reunion. It always seems to be made up of footage that has been so poorly put together that you can’t figure out what is going on.

Well, it’s either that or I’m generally too drunk to care about what’s happening.

The only interesting part of this part 2 was that Bustass won Fan Favorite!

There was also a fight between Prissy and Angie, but I have no idea what the fight was actually about. Anyway, let’s dive once more into the murky waters of skank that is the Bad Girls Club.

We get back to the “tense stand off” between Nasti and Morticia. There’s a good amount of posturing before Morticia sits her ass back down on the couch.

I'm tough!

Prove it!

She just might smother me with her boobs in front of a live audience.

I'll sit back down and yell instead.

Instead of fighting, she decides to call Nasti fat. Because, that’s what classy bitches who go on a show that should be called “drunk bitches fighting” do. Only it doesn’t hurt Nasti, because Nasti says that she put on weight before going on the show due to knee surgery. That may explain the weight but it still doesn’t excuse the outfit.

Anyway, Twunt-nozzle has a major hate on for Morticia and her Klassy self. So, he shows how Bustass stole Mort’s dread-locked Romeo. And Bustass has no remorse about it – which she shouldn’t, the guy was obviously more interested in her anyway; and it was his choice not Mort’s. Mort claims that she didn’t even like the guy, even though she was all up in his grill about why he was at the house and trying to come into Bustass’s room to see what they were doing.

That ended too calmly, so Twunt-nozzle tries a different approach. He goes after the homophobic comments Mort and Prissy made over the course of the show. Mort and Prissy try to claim that their use of the word “fagetti” wasn’t a gay slur and Twunt pounces. He shows clips of how they came up with the word.

Mort says that even though she has gay friends they all know that she feels that homosexuality is wrong and a choice that they make. Twunt-nozzle gets all empowered and says he is offended that gay people would be friends with Mort. Hey Twunt-nozzle, look at the gay person sitting next to you.

Gay people shouldn't be friends with Morticia. Oh, wait...

He gets in a line about being born gay the same way that Mort was born without a soul – wait, that’s not right. I think he said she was born without… something…I think it rhymes with ass.

I kind of wish this had turned into an hour of Morticia bashing, but they move on and talk about whether or not Cayenne is racist.

I’ll come clean with you Gasmii. Even though I’ve had a lot of fun with the “Cayenne is a racist” storyline, she probably isn’t racist. She just says racist stuff. Most likely because she’s stupid…And kind of racist. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Anyway, she claims to be a hippie which is code for stoned out of her gourd.

I thought they were serving food at this thing.

The other girls weigh in and Psycho doesn’t think that Cayenne is a racist. She just thinks she was trashed and didn’t know what she was saying – which is a situation Psycho totally understands.

We move on to Angie talking about how she felt like she was just an accessory for Shitty because Mort and Prissy were no longer around. Shitty tries to say some stuff, that I don’t listen to because I tried to mute the show when Angie started talking and there was a delay.

I’m not sure what happens next because we are now talking about the limo fight and drinks being thrown and rampaging through the streets of New Orleans as the cops haul Shitty and Angie off to the big house. I did think it was funny when Shitty was wailing in the police car, and Angie calmly says “stop crying.” It proved that Angie can talk like a normal person and she is just torturing us with that voice and accent on purpose.

If Rosie Perez can star in a couple of movies, so can I!

Then, we get to the most confusing part of the reunion for me. Angie and Prissy are arguing about something. I can’t figure out what they are arguing about though. Something about lies being told about Angie, but it happened after Prissy already left the house. Prissy must have really done something because she is quick to jump and fight over it and the two start fighting while Shitty tries to break them up.

I start mentally re-evaluating the life choices that got me to the point of watching and then writing about The Bad Girls Club. Maybe it was all of the pot I smoked in college, or that time I tripped on acid at the beach. Maybe drugs ARE bad. I’ll really have to think about that. Anyway, here’s the fight:

And here is Bustass’s reaction to the whole thing:

Look bitches. Funny is funny, no matter who it is!

Anyway, we move on to who actually had game this season. The boring bitches who couldn’t pull any guys claim that it was because they were too K-lassy to bring a guy home on national television. I’m pretty sure that Mort would have gladly brought dreadlock guy home if he had been the least bit interested. Nasti says that she just likes extremely tall guys (her last man was over 7 feet) and just didn’t see anyone who interested her.

And, now it’s time for the slut shaming segment. Psycho names the guys she brought home and Twunt-nozzle is giving her props for having game, but of course Prissy, Morticia, and Shitty all had problems with a woman enjoying sex enough to actually, you know, have sex.

How could you go out and get laid as though you were an adult making your own choices? Slut!

I can't believe you would use your vagina for sex with a guy. Slut!

Psycho asks what all of us want to know, why are they so concerned with her vagina? Shitty goes off about it being dirty and nasty and I realize that Shitty really had the hots for Psycho and that was why she treated her so shabbily.

There is some other part about Shitty’s girlfriend visiting – I was drinking heavily and may have these snippets out of order – and how she had to be disguised because she’s military and in Iraq, and I just don’t care.

Anyway, Pscho and Shitty argue about sex in the house and dirty vaginas and Psycho gives Shitty’s vagina props and a thumbs up (which isn’t nearly as dirty as it sounds).

Good for you and your vagina!

We get to the Prissy/Psycho fight. And, I have to say it is downright disconcerting how reasonable and, dare I say it, sane Psycho is coming across in this reunion. She acknowledges that she instigated that fight to get rid of Prissy, and she acknowledges that Prissy beat the holy hell out of her.

There is a little part where Twunt-nozzle is taking Bustass to task for laughing at the cereal thing. Which is stupid because the shit was funny and Bustass backs me up on that.

They cover the fact that Mort doesn’t seem to understand the difference between having her friend’s back and taking a cheap shot at someone while they’re down. Apparently, classy people throw punches when their victim is already down and bleeding. There is so much I never knew about class you guys!

I'm a classy bitch! That's why I'm on the show!

I think we are finally winding down and thank Jeebus because I can’t take the shrieking anymore. Plus, I really want to get black-out drunk to cleanse my mental palate. It’s a preparatory ritual I do between seasons of Bad Girls Club. What?

They play Nasti’s rap song and Mort says some crap about liking rap music but not liking that or something. Does anyone really care? We move on to what the girls are up to. Prissy and Mort are starting a clothing line that will be featured in Forever 21 chains across the country.

Bustass, pulls a Basketball Wives and is launching a lip gloss line. Y’all know I love me some Bustass, but come on. She had way too many moments of wearing the exact wrong color lip gloss for me to approve of this undertaking.

That lip gloss color is just not cute. But, let's hangout anyway. Call me!

Nasti saw the show as a business opportunity (really?) and is writing a “fictional autobiography.” Twunt-nozzle tells her the word she is looking for is “novel.” If that bitch gets a book deal while I’m still writing about drunken skanks in exchange for Cheetos, someone is going to pay dearly.

Psycho is gonna be on Love Games. Cayenne is going to be making feather jewelry with Kelly “Kookoo for Jelly Beans” Bensimon. Shitty has ruined her chances of ever working anywhere besides a bar; and Angie…She doesn’t really say what she’s doing, just that she is no longer dancing. I’m pretty sure that’s code for “personal escort.”

We end the show with Psycho screaming about having the voodoo for these bitches!

Fuck you guys! I WIN!

So, what did you guys think? Did Psycho actually become a better person or, was she playing everyone to make a bid for Love Games? Will Nasti make the most of this “business opportunity” and get a better stylist? Will Bustass ever get her own show? Will Angie find a deaf man who will love her because he never has to hear her voice? Will Mort and Prissy’s clothing line inspire a whole new generation of skanks? Does anyone really care about Shitty? Let’s talk it out in the comments.