Psycho’s back y’all! I guess now in order to get kicked out you actually have to kill someone. Which is exactly what I would do if I came back and my room looked like this.
I would just have to move. Period.
Shitty is still in bed and Psycho calls her a “miserable ass bitch, ignorant as hell.” They replay the events from the night before and as Psycho is cleaning, well attempting to clean, Shitty says this..
You two are beginning to be seriously boring.
Psycho tells her to shut up she whooped her ass last night she’ll do it again. Shitty tells her pulling someone’s hair out is NOT whooping their ass. No but punching you in the schnozzola is.
See this is what happens with me. Last week I felt Psycho was in the wrong. Now I can’t stand either one. Stay tuned for more mood swings.
Angie meanwhile is listening to this shit as she tries to sleep and she tells us it’s not easy living in this house but she’s going to work on her patience and try to have fun.
Don’t try too hard you might fall asleep.
Finally Bustass comes to drag Psycho away so that she can get her hair did. But before she leaves she gets one more shot in and tells Shitty to pick on someone her own size like the Jolly Green Giant. Gotta admit, I giggled. In the car, Psycho brags about bruising her knuckle and breaking her nail on Shitty’s face.
Once at the hair salon, Bustass begs the dude not to fuck her hair up.
Looks like someone beat him to it.
Later these three go out to eat and Psycho tells us she thought for sure she was going home. Nasti tells her that’s why everyone thinks she’s a lunatic and what she did was not ok. Psycho plans to be better.
Please tell me that dude is NOT finished!
Back at home Prissy and Mort are discussing guys and hair gel. Prissy hates it and Mort announces she loves guys with dreads. Prissy is grossed out and says dreads are dirty and stink. Mort proclaims she would never lay up in bed with a dude who stank.
Bustass is back y’all after hours and hours of God only knows what to achieve this.
That is what you call magic. Besides I was tired of looking at her little chicken head.
The girls have decided that even though shit went down last night they are going out and having fun. Oh hell let me go get my seat belt and strap myself in.
At Club Catch A Crab, it’s the usual drinking and dancing. Then we see Mort’s checklist for her perfect man.
Someone has a serious dread fetish.
Mort is very disappointed that she like, hasn’t like, ya know, like found like her, like type of, like man, like.
Other than Nasti telling us that she thinks Angie just wants to fit in with anyone and goes between both sides, everything seems to go well.
Either she disapproves or she’s doing her bullfrog impression.
The next morning Angie and Shitty are having a chat over real life stuff when I see this.
See that sneaky little fly? It’s actually Batshit trying to get some camera time.
While Shitty and Angie are talking, Nasti is being nosy and looking pissed. I forgot you are supposed to take sides and never speak to the other side, unless of course you are Nasti and have a big “plan”.
Later, Nasti, Bustass and Angie leave and Nasti makes the comment that Shitty and Angie are best friends when Mort and them aren’t there. Angie tells her she’s not her best friend, she talks and she responds. That’s all. Who the fuck died and made this bitch the “talk” police? Bustass says she’s going to tell them not to talk to Angie because she belongs to them. Only she does it in a funny way and not the bitchy way Nasti is acting. Angie tells us she will talk to whoever she wants, whenever she wants and she doesn’t care who doesn’t like it.
Get ready to be jumped cause ya know it’s coming.
Back at the house people come over to do Prissy and Shitty’s nails. They talk a little about the dynamic of the house. Then the phone rings and it’s for Angie and she talks about how they are split into groups but she does her own thing. She tells us she vibes better with Bustass and Nasti but she doesn’t need to chose a side. Oh girl are you at the wrong house.
Night falls again and it’s time to go out. Only problem is Psycho is ready but Bustass and Nasti are staying in. Psycho begs them to go but Nasti tells her she’ll be fine, just don’t drink more than 3 drinks. As Psycho walks off she claims she feels like she’s going on the Titanic. No that would be safer.
Psycho tells us she’s tired of the drama, the mean stares and all of it. She just wants to have fun.
And she hasn’t even screamed “I’m Creole!” once tonight.
It seems Mort has run into a friend from home named Ennis. He’s bald. I guess that’s why he’s just a friend. He tells her his cousin is with him and she has to meet him. She tells him he better not be ugly. Then we see him.
Uhh could someone please pick up Mort’s undies from the floor please? Thank you.
They immediately start chit chatting. Guess who else has found a boo? That would be Psycho.
Don’t make her say it! It unleashes the demons!
She tells him she’s Creole and then asks him if he knows what that is. From the look on his face I don’t think so.
Suddenly everyone is leaving the club and going back to the house. Mort warns their driver not to lose dread guy.
Shitty acts like she already knows Ennis and the rest of his friends come on in for a tour. Mort introduces Dread boy, whose name I still don’t know, to Bustass. Bustass doesn’t know it either and decides to call him Carlos.
Oh Lord his name is Fontino. Mort tells us he’s a fun guy. You’ve known him 3 minutes. They lay down on her bed to chat about some game he’s going to in Miami. She tells him this…
To which he says…
I’m guessing blow jobs.
Drive thru blow jobs at that.
Meanwhile Psycho is showing her boo her VooPoo. He asks her what happened to it and she says she “loved it and it ended up dead. You probably think that’s crazy don’t you?”
Bet he’s wondering if he can out run her or if he should just jump off the balcony.
Apparently he’s as crazy as she is because he tells her he wants to stay but he will respect her if she doesn’t want him too. About that time we hear that annoying ass horn thingy that Shitty has and she’s blowing it and announcing she’s tired. Oh really? When the fuck did you buy the house bitch?
Shitty tells us that Psycho is tacky for bringing a guy home and spending the night with him and it just shows her low standards and blah blah shut the fuck up sex patrol!
Meanwhile Mort is already trying to pin down Fontino for the next day. He keeps saying “UH, uh.” And then somehow he discovers Bustass.
Looks like he’s happy to see her but he ends up hugging Mort goodbye and Psycho hugs her dude goodbye. Bustass informs us that if she wants your boyfriend she will take him. She gets what she wants.
The next day all the girls make plans to go out together later that night. In the meantime, Shitty, Morticia and Prissy decide to do a little shopping and fucking around. The girls left at home are apparently seriously bored because this is what we see next as Angie yells for Bustass.
I guess they ran out of plates.
Now that is just nasty.
After covering her with food she runs upstairs hopefully to take a shower.
The girls later start getting ready for a night out and are starting to get pissed because the others aren’t back. Nasti announces she’s leaving when she’s ready.
Psycho calls her friend from the night before and tells him they are all going to the club.
Uh oh, I smell trouble!
Wait he and his friends are coming to the house after the club. Nasti starts teasing Bustass about Fontino wanting her ass.
Shitty comes in and wonders what they are going to do now that their plans are all mixed up. Somehow calmly they decide that the ones who are ready will take the limo, go eat and then come back and get their slack asses. That was way to easy.
In the limo, Angie is pissed because if they had left on time there’d be no problem. Bustass finally says “So do y’all want to go back and get them?” Psycho happily says “NO!” It’s decided. Fuck them. This is the second time they’ve shown up late.
Back at the house Mort and Prissy tell Shitty that she has to know they aren’t coming back. She’s proclaims if that happens it will be World War Three in the house.
The other four are at the club when this one arrives to say hello.
I’m thinking that’s a big fat yes.
Because y’all can’t tell time and well, because they didn’t wanna.
Shitty just keeps yapping and then Mort shows up and throws in her two cents.
That’s fucking because you are fucking at a fucking club. Fuck.
Shitty runs her mouth a little more, gets ignored and wanders off to get drunk. Then Fontino and crew show up. Fontino sees Bustass first and they hug.
Ha! I beg to differ.
That’s how it always starts. Next thing ya know you are in the potty bumping uglies.
Haha Bustass calls him Dreadhead and so will I from now on. Bustass is fucking with him to get under Mort’s skin and it’s working.
Mort’s version however is that she doesn’t blame Bustass for going after him because she is jealous of her as most girls are. No skank, I pretty sure she’s going after him because she hates you and because she can.
Bustass basically orders Dreadhead to walk her to the door and he does. Psycho’s dude does too and she still doesn’t know what his name is but she tells us she is definitely having sex with him.
The guys are gonna meet them at the house and the remaining girls take separate ways home. In the limo with Angie, Bustass,Nasti and Psycho, Angie is already all riled up because she knows there will be trouble with “Sasquatch” once they get home. Nasti vows that she has all her bitch’s backs.
Once home the other three are already there and it starts immediately. Shitty.Mort and Prissy confront Bustass and ask her why they didn’t come back for them. She tells them because “we didn’t want to.”
Because no one wanted to smell your big giant feet.
Angie was already in the kitchen taking off her jewelry and then she heard Shitty say “Angie lied.” That made Angie come running and yelling and Shitty tells her not to get up in her face. By this time Mort and Bustass are yelling too and Nasti just watches. Psycho is calmly laying on the staircase just shaking her head lol.
Angie gets all up in Shitty’s face and Shitty tells her not to be stomping her little ass up in her face causing Angie to stomp harder and tell her she’s not scared of her. She also keeps asking her “What you gonna do bitch?” Shitty says” nothing.” In the next shot they are on the stairs and Shitty is calling Angie a 21 year old baby and saying she isn’t worth it.
Starting to look like Shitty may be a bit on the wimpy side.
Shitty is yelling for Angie to go to bed and then Shitty is back downstairs while Angie and Mort argue about time frames and Angie tells her she should talk to “Sasquatch” about that because she set it all up. Sasquatch hears this from downstairs.
She didn’t stutter.
Angie has been chasing you around the house for an hour and you are still unsure if she wants to crack your tater?
This is something I’ve noticed about Shitty/Sasquatch. She never really fights. She just asks questions. “You wanna pull my weave out bitch?” “You wanna punch me in the face bitch?” And that was after Psycho did both of those things. For someone so large, she doesn’t back it up much.
Angie comes flying down the stairs yelling “Stomp me bitch!” Shitty tells her if she hits her first she will knock her the fuck out. Angie shoves the shit out of her and Shitty points at her and tells her to get out of her face. Push push shove shove scream scream.
Hope they used breath mints.
Remember when people used to actually fight?
More pushing, shoving and screaming while Nasti does this.
Y’all should have known she didn’t have nobody’s back when she kept those giant hoop earrings in.
Somehow this shit breaks up and Shitty stomps upstairs while Prissy and Angie speak in Spanish. Angie is irritated that Nasti didn’t jump in but by now the taxi full of dudes has arrived.
No dude you got that backwards. You should be scratching your crotch when leaving the BGC.
Someone, I think Shitty asks them what they are doing there. Mort and Prissy kinda hold them hostage as Dreadhead tries to explain who invited him. Bustass is at the top of the stairs and tells us he’s a grown ass man and he knows where she is if he wants her.
Mort blithers on some more at us about how Bustass is hooking up with her would be leftovers…..who cares?
Bustass senses some tension and asks why Mort is mad and Mort proclaims it’s because she’s a fake ass bitch. Meanwhile in Psycho’s room she’s telling him that for once it’s not about her.
That’s nice can we get naked now?
The arguing gets worse and turns into a slap fight.
Did I just capture a ghost hand?
Back and forth they go with the name calling and in the end this is what we have.
I see Nasti got into position quickly.
Next we get back to these two.
I have a beautiful smile and skin and oh yeah, I’m crazy.
In the other room they are playing grab ass and bed jumping until Dreadhead ends up being a man sandwhich.
Poor lil other fella got left all alone.
So Psycho gets it on with her dude, I have no clue exactly what happened with the 3 in the bed but you know lonely boy was whacking it.
The next morning the guys are sent packing and Bustass still isn’t quite sure what his name is. Then again Psycho doesn’t even have a clue what her dude’s name was.
Angie starts off the day puking her guts up. Repeatedly and says she thinks she’s dying. Who comes to her aid?
I am so confused.
After all the fighting, the one person you would expect to be laughing her ass off is the only one taking care of Angie. Meanwhile her so called friends are too busy gossiping about Mort and her wanting a 10% finders fee for sending Dreadhead Bustass’ way. Psycho comes in and announces that last night was….
Oh except that she says they are going to meet back up get together have babies…if only she can remember his name.
Mort gets a phone call and starts talking about the whole Dreadhead shit again and I’m skipping it.
For some reason Angie (this is much later) decides to rehash the whole “Y’all were late so we didn’t come back for you shit.” WHY? After what seems like forever Angie finally realizes she is the only one of her “crew” even talking about it. Nasti finally hears enough and summons Angie. Angie goes to her and she and Nasti start arguing and they are both getting on my nerves. Angie tells us from now on she ain’t got nobody’s back but her own.
Time to go out again! Uh oh in the limo we discover Psycho is already 3 drinks in. But she thinks she’s fine. Shitty reminds her that she was only 3 drinks in when she poured her drink on those girls who wanted to beat her ass.
Three drinks of what? Rubbing alcohol?
Once at the club things aren’t much better since Angie has discovered Nasti for the nasty person she seems to be.
You mean like how you are doing right now?
At some point Nasti tells Psycho she’s cut off and soon after they pile into the limo. So far everyone is getting along, at least to each others faces but then Psycho says something while Shitty is talking and Shitty loses her shit.
Splish splash y’all gonna need a bath!
Now everyone is losing it because she didn’t just hit Psycho she hit Nasti and others and there are arms and legs everywhere.
It wouldn’t be the BGC if an episode didn’t end with someone’s ass in the air.
Until next time,
Love & Smooches,