This week we get started with Stinky telling PigFace she has Matt (the dude she tried to kill) and about 5 dudes coming over. PigFace wants to know if they are all cute cause when there’s a group there’s always at least one that is ugly as all hell………..
Jump to Gabi calling daddy and explaining how all six of them jumped Elease and now the other girls are being all nice and shit to her and it’s fake and blah blah blech! Daddy explains that it’s because they all jumped her for no reason and Gabi jumps in and says he doesn’t understand, Elease came in and wanted to know where her room was!!!! Dad is trying to explain that she was in the wrong(I know, shocked me too) and she just gets pissed and hangs up on him.
Matt shows up with about 20 dudes and even though Schizo tells us she’s not one to judge, she does just that. One dude has a serious uncombed afro, another one is wearing glasses and a droopy hat. In other words they are all losers, but she’s not judging y’all.
None of the dudes brought any food and it’s pissing PigFace off so she and Schizo head out to the pizza place. This leaves Elease alone with one dude out by the pool and he wants to know why there is a mattress in it.
She tells him what’s what and he just laughs and shakes his head.
When Schizo and PigFace return with the booze and pizzas, PigFace is still mumbling, “Broke ass mother fuckers.”
Dani is as usual bitching about Elease chatting up someone or breathing or whatever. Bitch get a hobby. YOU ARE BORING ME.
While everyone is sitting around eating, Elease announces that they all jumped her ass the first night. PigFace is upstairs and doesn’t hear it. The guys are all whaaaaaaa?
I got jumped once. By a pack of dudes with combs. That’s why I ain’t used one since.
Of course The Twats look like Elease just sold government secrets to terrorists. Dani waddles her ass upstairs and tells PiGface and PigFace is all, “She told them what we deeeeeeeed?” What the fuck am I missing here? It’s ok to jump a girl just don’t tell anyone before it airs on national tv? PigFace is pissed but reminds us that she found Jesus and she’s just gonna chill.
The boys all leave and so Schizo decides the next best thing to do when bored is streak. So she and Mimi do just that. The Twats think this is lame and disgusting but of course they take their nasty asses outside to watch.
Schizo says you need to streak every now and then to get some air up that vagina. Washing it would help also. One of the Twats tells us that Mimi is the last person who should be streaking. GO SAY THAT TO HER PLEASE!
The next morning there is a raft with a blow up palm tree and a note inside.
Y’all are seriously gonna need a bigger boat.
Yay! They are going to Bermuda!!! Oh wait sorry, they are going to Lake Havasu. And driving there…lololol. Most of the girls cannot even pronounce Havasu but Schizo has fallen in love with the blow up palm tree. In the car on the way Mimi tells her to name it Palmer. And she does. I’m guessing Palmer will be dead before the trip is over.
Finally they arrive in Arizona and stop at a place to eat and drink. They serve drinks by the bucket, not kidding and so Mimi and Elease share one. Stinky finds this stupid and says they act like they are in love. Everyone agrees that NO ONE wants to share a bed with the future pukers.
Off to the hotel they go.
All seven twits are in one room. It has two double beds a a giant bed and a pullout couch. They quickly decide that The Twats and Stinky will share the big bed and the others can fuck off.
Dani informs everyone that she’s is gonna do her make up and then “rinse my vagina off in the bath.” Gabi says, “You HAVE to.” First off I am so sure that thing needs much more than a rinse and second of all, baaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrf! Nasty bitch take a for real shower!
Everyone gets sufficiently whored up and ready to go, except Schizo. She tired and staying in bed.
Once at Club Flickadick the girls do the usual and Mimi and Elease actually cozy up to a couple of dudes.
As expected, PigFace and the Twats think this breaks some sort of code and they are pissed. Mimi could give a crap. Even Stinky joins in on the stinkeye coven and starts making cracks about Mimi’s dude being ugly. PigFace is pissed because she considers these dudes “scavengers” and this is the Bad Girls Club. Yes we know, we are fully aware of the name of the show now shut up you cock blocking bitch.
Back at the hotel, PigFace starts mouthing off about the club being whack, “whickety whickety whack!” and how she doesn’t need to be talking to no thirsty scavengers and basically trying to start shit. So far Elese and Mimi are ignoring her.
Oh jeez, Stinky and PigFace have decided they have to come up with a plan to get Mimi and Elease out. You know like those plans they’ve come up with that worked so well before…………oh and of course the Twats are involved as well.
The next morning the twits head out for a boat ride.
I’m guessing there aren’t a lot of icebergs in Arizona?
For some reason Gabi and Stinky start kissing. Then when they are just drunk enough they start playing Never Have I Ever. First one, sex tape. All drink. Had someone pee on ya? That would be PigFace. Dani comes up with, “Never have I ever talked badly about someone in this house.” Everyone drinks.
More drinking and Stinky and Schizo start jumping off the boat, using the slide to slide off the boat, swimming. Ya know, fun stuff. Then they see a guy with a speed boat and want to go tubing.
And Stinky and Mimi do it too.
Oh look someone familiar!!!
Natalie Nunn you do not have to appear on every season! Now shoo!!!!
Anyway the girls are having a blast but the Troll Patrol is in full on hate mode. When the other girls start hanging around other people who are actually having fun they almost explode.
Yeah how dare they actually socialize and have fun when you can sit on a bed and talk shit and pick your rats nest!
Oh hell no! The fun girls have actually invited people onto the boat, while the Trolls are trying to rest. OMG! What next? Actual laughter!!! The HORROR!!!!
Oh and according to Gabi, all those people who were invited are white trash. Well Gabster, I hate to break it to you, but while you and your Trollites were downstairs sucking your thumbs, the white trash was having a blast. So suck it bitch.
Dani just does her usual “dead faced I am better than you stare” and tells us she would never allow “those” people on her boat. Sweetie the only boat you will ever have is one that fits in a bathtub, not that you have one of those either.
Poor thing looks lost without her bridge.
Back at the hotel, Mimi is bonding with Elease and talking about her love of music and guess who doesn’t like this. The Twats. They decide Mimi is a flip flopper. So are your saggy ass tits what’s your point twat?
Meanwhile Schizo is being all happy and trying to get Palmer drunk.
Trust me Palmer, you’re gonna need it.
Everyone heads off to BJ’s for more drinking and hopefully dudes. At one point the girls are in a booth and toasting Havasu when this appears.
Oh NO not more white trash!
She tells the girls she’s a big fan and they are celebrities and then she says this..
Hahahaha I LOVE her!
Too soon she is gone and Schizo,Elease and Mimi are dancing on tables and pulling “scavengers” up with them. This is just way to much for PigFace who decides they need to lay down some rules. Here’s a rule, go to hell.
Dani tells us that Mimi and Schizo are mingling with people who shouldn’t be mingling with “people like us.” Oh you mean people who just rinse off their vaginas and bitch and moan every second of every day? Agreed.
PigFace tells Stinky and the Twats that they need three replacements! Then she decides that she, the Twats and Stinky should ditch the other three and also lock them out of the hotel.
Once The TRoll Patrol get to the room they lock it and then PigFace decides it’s time to kill Palmer. She and Gabi take turns stabbing him.
Told ya you’d need those drinks Palmer.
See this is what weak ass bitches do. They can’t stand up to a person one on one, much less say anything to their face. All they can do is petty shit like kill a palm tree. WEAK.
One of the Twats believes that that will prove that they are the biggest baddest 4 bitches in the house. Really? What next, sticking their hand in warm water while they sleep?
Dani is so proud of herself for “putting her army back together” and “having the dominance in the house”. She’s not only weak,lame and stupid, she’s delusional.
The girls left behind finally figure out they’ve been ditched and while Elease basically remains cool, Schizo is pissed and Mimi is downright fucking MAD. Mimi starts yelling and kicks over a chair outside and once in the van on the way back to the hotel is crying and slamming shit around.
Once back at the hotel Schizo knocks and knocks while the rats scatter and hide. Mimi has had enough and starts beating and kicking the door and telling them to open the motherfucking door. The dingbats didn’t count on one thing.
Honey I’m HOME!!!!
Mimi comes flying in screaming and I never saw the management dude again. Mimi is yelling, “REALLY?” and the rats fly back to their beds laughing while Schizo is also screaming for someone to admit to who locked them out. No answer as usual because they can pull shit behind their backs but never cop to it. Ever.
Mimi is slamming walls and throwing chairs and I wish she’d “accidentally” throw one at the Twats. Schizo notices Palmer is dead and PigFace plays all innocent because she’s a pussy and is afraid of getting her ass whipped on national tv by a lil blonde girl. Her “man” might repossess her red bottoms.
I was just laying here praying to Jesus, who I just found.
PigFace is so evil that she even goes to Mimi and tries to console her and never once admits that this whole thing was her doing. Pathetic. Then she sits on the bed winking at the Twats and saying she doesn’t understand where all the anger is coming from….I hope a bolt of lightening is coming your way and hits you right in that butt rash looking head of yours.
Back to Las Vegas they go and Gabi tells us her plan is to mess with Mimi because Mimi is nothing this house needs.
And you are nothing that a can of Raid wouldn’t kill.
Later Schizo,Elease and Mimi go to get their nails done and to escape the cloud of death smell that wafts through the house when the Troll Patrol is there.
Stinky and Gabi decide they are going to rummage through Mimi’s things to find her MARS necklace. Gabi puts it around her dirt ringed neck rolls and says that this is something that Mimi treasures and wears all the time. She and Stinky giggle.They take it downstairs to show PigFace and she asks what if she cries. Gabi wants her to cry and “spaz out for no reason.” Really? No reason. Bitch if you went through my shit and touched anything of mine you would find yourself at the bottom of the pool looking for oxygen.
PigFace is worried that Mimi will retaliate and mess with her shit and Gabi, brave person that she is claims that she doesn’t care because if that bitched dare to touch her things she would just wild out. Look Tubby, the only time you “wild out” is when you have five other girls with you so shut it blow hole.
Guess what happens? She drops Mimi’s necklace and breaks it.
Hey Miss Badass, meet her at the front door and tell her what you did.
Yeah didn’t think so. They scurry upstairs and put it back in her bag and hope that she thinks it happened on it’s own.
Mimi comes home and talks to one of her buds who tells her she and Elease need to start some shit of their own. Mimi tells us that whenever she’s around The Twats, PigFace and Stinky she feels like they are up to something. BECAUSE THEY ARE.
The next morning Mimi finds her broken necklace. She shows Elease and she has no illusions that it was not done by one of the Twats. She starts wondering LOUDLY who would do such a thing and Dani is all “what necklace” and Gabi keeps her trap shut. Where’s the wilding out now bitch. Tell her what you did. Gutless bitch.
Mimi tells us she cannot wait to find out who did it because she isn’t going to just break a piece off she’s going to smash it.
PigFace and Stinky arrive home and ask what’s wrong and of course they play dumb too. Mimi informs them all that somebody’s shit is getting broken in return.
Stinky tells us that Gabi and Dani are to blame and they are trying to put the blame on everyone else. Excuse me? YOU and Gabi went through Mimi’s things. You are just as guilty ho.
Damn she is scared.
As the Twats pretend to know nothing, no one is buying it and their little partner in crime is basically ratting them out. Guess PigFace is even more of a pussy than I thought.
Guess someone’s afraid their “red bottoms” are gonna get fucked up.
And from the look on Mimi’s face, someone’s ass is gonna get fucked up.
Until next week,
Love and Smooches,
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