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Last week The Troll Patrol tried everything in their pop up book to get rid of new girl Elease only it didn’t work. Now me, I would have set the bitches on fire in their sleep but apparently Elease has more patience than I do. And less homicidal tendencies. Let’s see what they try to pull out of their caldron of hate this week.
Elease wakes up and shouts good morning to the house and PigFace just smiles and says,”Round Two.” Then she starts blithering about how “she better be booking her flight, that what she better be doing.” Get over it Tubbo, she’s not going anywhere.
Elease decides to head out for the day and as she’s leaving she tells the trolls to have fun. Head Troll yells back, “You too bitch.”
Oh hell, Schizo’s equally schizo sometimes sorta maybe ex boyfriend calls and actually asks her this…
Schizo takes offense at the way he’s asking her if she’s behaving. She feels he’s treating her like a dog and he is. Then again she is a dog so……… He asks her if she’s “done anything with anybody” and she denies it. Cut to a montage of shit she’s done.
Meanwhile Elease is off to meet Nasti for some shopping and to fill her in on what the twats did to her. Nasti’s advice. Just keep doing what you are doing. It’s better to let them think she’s crazy than weak.
Back at the house The Troll Patrol decides they are going to put all kinds of sauces in Eleases’ suitcase. But not before Gabi’s fugly ass digs for gold in her greasy pug nose.
Mimi is not on board with this shit and to her it’s getting old as hell. But Stinky, Gabi and PigFace have a ball pouring that shit in and then shaking it up.
Elease arrives home and the skanks run upstairs. Elease finds her mess of a suitcase but stays calm. She goes and thanks the bitches for the hot sauce and tells them she loves hot sauce in a very sweet way. Schizo tells her she’s welcome but PigFace tells us that she is realizing that Elease isn’t going to fight back and she’s done because it’s getting boring. No you are done because it didn’t work you lame ass fire crotch from Satan’s loins!
Later that night Elease goes to sleep in her VIP room while in their room the Twat Twins argue about who has the ugliest nipples. I’m guessing school wasn’t a requirement in their home because they have the most ignorant conversations I’ve ever heard on this show.
The next morning Gabi decides to start more shit and writes Elease a note on the computer desk. Elease laughs it off and in turn draws twin Sponge Bob figures to symbolize the Twats.
Gabi comes in and claims Sponge Bob is cute and then she draws some shit and makes a comment about Elease’s fake hair and Elease just keeps repeating, hate, hate, hate. Gabi flips Elease’s hair and Elease slaps back at her causing Gabi to yell, “Don’t touch me.” Next thing you know Schizo is in Elease’s face telling her not to touch Gabi. SERIOUSLY? Bitch mind your own business. And while you are at it, go soak your wrinkled ass face in some motor oil or something you prune faced hag.
Back and forth they go with the “don’t touch me” until Gabi throws the marker at Elease. Dani has joined in and Elease tells her to shut it since she has no clue whats going on. Schizo tells us that Elease clearly doesn’t belong ,”in OUR house.” Hey bitch she isn’t at your trailer she’s at the BGC which in no way belongs to any of you ass warts.
Even Stinky has decided that enough bullying has taken place and she’s not getting involved.
Elease tells the hyenas to back up off her and she sits down at the computer again and of course Gabi sits her fat ass on the desk as close to her as possible. This blocks Elease from getting the mouse and when she reaches around Gabi’s lard ass, Gabi decides she hit her and does what she does best.
Elease has lost it by now and tries to fight back but as usual the others jump in. At least I thought they were jumping in but as it turned out Schizo was trying to get the Twat Twins off Elease. Once Elease gets up she tells them she will fight back every time and Dani shouts, “Two of us one of you!” Now there’s something to be proud about. I bet the Mayor gives them the key to the city for their bravery.
Schizo yells at the twins that they are gonna go home. Mimi is fed up with the Twats also. Even PigFace has decided enough is enough and wants to move on. She decides to go have a heart to pig valve talk with Elease. They talk it out and Elease explains she doesn’t like this jumping shit, she can handle one on one. PigFace then offers her something to drink and off they go.
Even though Mimi doesn’t fully trust Elease yet she helps her make a drink and they play nice. Then Elease proceeds to drink lots of drinks and soon she is on the floor dry heaving.
Everyone else has gotten ready to go out but Elease is hugging the floor. This gives Dani the chance to tell us she’s shady because she can’t handle her alcohol. Bitch from the looks of your lip you can’t handle a staple gun so shut it!
The rest of the girls go to some club where they have video games and before long Schizo has spotted a dude.
Even for a white boy that dude is pale. After some not so subtle crap from Schizo these two begin to make out. Then PigFace shouts this…
Back at the house, Schizo is prepping her vagina, Mimi tries to wake Elease up and then PigFace goes and has a talk with Stinky. She tells her she feels like they are just picking at Elease now and there is no reason for it and they both agree they are over it. One problem, Dani is outside listening like the true Troll she is.
Dani tells us that PigFace is a flip flopper and Stinky is a shadow. So you are a joke who probably smells like feet so suck it skank.
Of course Dani runs to Gabi and tattles and they then call PigFace in to ask her what’s up. Dani asks her if she really wants to “forgive” the new chick….FORGIVE HER FOR WHAT? HAVING THE SHIT BEATEN OUT OF HER FOR WALKING IN THE DOOR? I hope that bitch gets a lip infection and it falls OFF!
Dani thinks Elease is “faking it”. Faking what? Not reacting to your childish horseshit! Stinky and Erica want to go out to dinner with her and see what happens but Gabi says no because to her, “That’s skeptical.” Honey please don’t use big words if they aren’t in your pop up book, thanks.
Guess who has arrived at the House O’ Whores?
Mimi lets him in but she finds it odd that Schizo is having a boy over since she has an ex back home. Maybe she missed the part about him being an EX.
Meanwhile Schizo and Powder are having a lovely discussion about piercings. Then they start sucking face.
Schizo tells us that Powder looks awkward but after a few beers he looks good enough for her. Upstairs they go where everyone vacates so they can crawl under the covers and discuss global warming.
The next morning, Powder wakes Schizo up to say he’s leaving and asks her to call him later. She sighs and rolls over.
PigFace later tries to get details from Schizo but she swears his penis was never even erect. Maybe it was because he kept picturing PigFace or could it be because Schizo has a mammoth cooter?
Then this dingbat goes and calls her EX and basically tells him that she made out with someone. He gets a little upset because she tells him she loves him yet she makes out with other dudes. She tells us she feels bad but that’s just what you do when you are in the BGC. He wants to know if they are going to work things out or if she’s gonna be with other people and she says she doesn’t know. Ok Nasti needs to get a hold of this dude because he has no freakin’ backbone what so ever!
Later the Twat Twins are making plans to go indoor sky diving because they don’t want to waste the day away. Remember that.
After the instructor explains some things to them, they have to sign a release form. As Elease points out, suddenly the Twat Twins don’t seem so bad ass. In fact…
Gabi wussed out quickly followed by Dani. Even PigFaced is disgusted. The others had a ball.
Once back at the house PigFace grabs Elease to, “take her for a ride and see what she’s made of.” PigFace tells us that maybe Elease isn’t the problem, maybe there is another problem in the house that needs to go. Ahem, she means you Twat Twins.
Gabi of course is pissed that PigFace is taking Elease out and I really don’t give a shit.
In the Jeep, PigFace asks Elease how she can let people say things to her like that and just take it. She explains she is killing them with kindness.PigFace tries to explain why she acted like she did. She grew up in shelters, her Dad was a drug dealer and was killed. She tells Elease to keep it real. Elease assures her she’s not going anywhere.
Back at the house Gabi is calling dear old dad and telling him she keeps beating the hell out of the new girl(pulling hair) and she still won’t leave. He tells her she can’t be hitting because they have a game plan. She tells him she doesn’t like her and wants a new girl and he says what if they decide they want new twins. She says, “Yeah right.” Ha Dad’s a psychic!
Once back home Stinky comes to Elease and has a talk. She doesn’t want anymore drama either. So now PigFace and Stinky have called a truce with Elease.
Stinky goes to The Twat Twins and tells them she’s neutral and she wants a drama free dinner. The twins aren’t letting go of the hate just yet and start arguing with Stinky about being fake. Stinky is fed up with them and to top it off Dani says, “I said I was gonna get rid of this chick and that’s what I’m gonna do.” Gabi proclaims it’s either “me or her.” Bye bitch.
Schizo tells a boring ass story about how she and Jake, the ex met. She misses Jake and calls him and tells him she wants to be with him and blah blah blech.
Everyone gets ready and heads out to eat pasta. PigFace is especially excited and prays for no drama while having her beloved pasta.
Apparently God was taking another call because before they can even get to the place to eat, Gabi starts mumbling about people being fake. Gabi, Dani, PigFace and Stinky are in the Jeep. Dani tells Gabi that if she’s gonna say that shit, say it to them. This gets PigFace’s attention. When she asks wtf? Gabi tells her that they are being shady as fuck.PigFace tells her she can talk to who ever she wants to. Back and forth it goes and then Dani hops in and says that what she and Stinky are doing is fake as hell. Argue argue argue. The Twats claim they are the only REAL ones. Mimi, Schizo and Elease walk past and hear what’s going on.
Dani decides that Elease is spying on their conversation, you know like how she did earlier and she decides to confront her, inside the restaurant. Classy all the way. Of course one of the twits touches Elease and when she touches back all hell breaks loose.
While everyone is trying to pull the trashy bitches off Elease, Mimi has a meltdown and runs outside shoeless screaming how tired of this bullshit she is. She wants to go home. Elease and Schizo follow her and she tells them it’s embarrassing and she’s sick of theses hos fighting for no reason. She decides to walk it off.
Inside they somehow managed to get a table and poor PigFace still has no pasta. She says that if people want to fight do that shit at home. Or don’t do it at all.
If she keeps making sense I will have to stop calling her PigFace. But not just yet. She also says all they do is argue and she doesn’t get why it has to get physical. REALLY? Miss I beat people in the head with the heel of my “red bottoms”?
Meanwhile Gabi is out in the Jeep crying like the brat she is and calling Stinky fake, everyone is fake. Gabi announces she needs to go home or she’s gonna kill the bitch!
Tell it to someone who cares you snot nosed wannabe. Miss Badass isn’t so bad anymore now that her feewings are all hurted. Putrid cow.
Dani tells her to get a grip that when they get home they are going to fuck this bitch up and send her home. You go girl. Ima skeerded now. She does remind Gabi not to throw the first punch. When has Gabi ever thrown a punch. She pulls hair, that’s it.
Inside the restaurant Dani goes and sits down and informs Elease that they will be fucking with her tonight. Elease looks terrified. Or sleepy. Can’t tell. Dani rubs her filthy little paws together and says she can’t wait.
Dani continues to threaten Elease by saying that if Elease hits her she has another thing coming because she won’t be the only one hitting back. What? You have a frog in your pocket to help out because all Gabi can do is pull hair. And why is she so proud of the fact that she cannot take on Elease one on one?
PigFace decides she’s getting her pasta to go or she will never get to eat. She also tells us that she is over this shit, Stinky is ignoring it, Schizo is getting drunk so she doesn’t have to deal with it and the Twat Twins are certifiably insane. Agreed.
Gabi suddenly announces that as soon as she gets home she’s putting her Converse on and her hair up and it’s on. Excuse me a sec. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
In the car Elease tells Scizo she just doesn’t get those twits and Schizo actually says that she tried the clique thing in Jr High but she learned really fast it doesn’t work. Bitch were you in Jr.High just a couple of days ago because you sure as hell was all cliqued up then. Shut your booze hole.
In the other Jeep Gabi announces, “Tonight’s the night I’m going out with a bang folks.” Dani tells her to shut up. Dani tells her if she goes home she will have more problems there than she does here. Oooh does dear old Dad have anger issues too?
Back home Elease puts her hair in a bun and puts on athletic wear and gets ready to fight the hideous bitches. Oh wait they have to call Dada first.
Gabi tells Dada she isn’t going to last. He sighs and wants to know why. She mumbles some bullshit and he tells her it’s 2am there call back tomorrow. When she hangs up Dani is all excited and says, “What did he say? Don’t hit her first right?” No dip shit he blew her off. Something you are probably very familiar with.
As Schizo put it, Elease is ready for war and well, the Twats are ready for…bed.
But wait, shouldn’t they be bringing the pain? Showing Elease what’s what? Giving her what fer? LAME.
Dani tells Gabi she only fights when defending her and Gabi says that’s because if Dani fought on her own she would get her ass beat. Nahuh says Dani who proclaims that she would just gouge someone’s eyes out with her fake ass nails. Seriously, did they go to the Bitch Ass School of Doing Everything Except Fight?
Erica, yes I’m back to that for now, tells us she would be embarrassed for her Mom to know what she did to the new girl because the new girl did nothing to her and she feels like a bully. She says she never wants to act like that again because what comes around goes around and it’s not cute. Amen sister.
On the skank side of the house, Dani tells Gabi that they may look like bullies but they kept it real. Yeah real stupid.
Everyone has now turned against the “devils” as Stinky called them. And Erica predicts that Elease is gonna flip out and knock the shit out of the Twat Twins.
Until next week,
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