Bad Girls Club: Bad Break

Hello peeplets! It’s that time of week again. Let’s go see who loses their shit this week on Bad Girls Club!

Well as we all know, last week Manly got blue balls and was very very grouchy. She and Kendra went at it and then Batshit and KlanBarbie went at it ending with Batshit spitting on KlanBarbie’s face. Let’s go see what classy things these girls are up to this week.

As Looney is whining to Kendra about how she’s not used to this kind of drama, Manly walks by their door. Then comes back. She tells Kendra that she should be ashamed of herself for slapping her like she’s some kind of “Little Natalie”. Kendra asks Manly what she should do, smile, not smile, what would she like? Manly rolls her eyes and stomps away. Kendra tells us that there needs to be distance between she and Manly because basically Manly is a crazy bitch who could blow at any second.

Batshit announces that tomorrow is the photo shoot and who ever isn’t ready needs to get ready. She tells us that it’s going to be so much fun because “I’m so much cuter!”

Batshit then notices that KlanBarbie has written some shit on her own picture about “spitting on someone over makeup.” This pisses Batshit off who decides that she is going to take the high road and call Dr. Phil so they can maturely work out their differences in a loving and adult way. Ok that’s a lie. She grabs a marker and starts writing shit all over KlanBarbie’s bedroom. Her walls, table. She keeps yapping about how KlanBarbie just wishes her life was as fabulous as hers. Yes I would love to be a pock marked giraffe who’s boyfriend hangs up on me every time I call. Now that’s living!!!

KlanBarbie is not impressed and wipes it all off with her finger. She also says she isn’t jealous because she already has everything.

Off to the nail salon/beauty parlor/house of miracles. Manly makes a comment about everyone needing a brazillian wax for the gay club she’s taking them to Friday and Batshit says “It’s box eating time.” Ambeer makes this face.

Manly tells them all how she’s gonna fix them up with women and that Ambeer will get a lot of action because she looks like one of those gay baseball players.

Manly asks Ambeer if her man would get mad if a lady ate her box and she says that ain’t happening so it doesn’t matter. Batshit takes this opportunity to announce that although she wouldn’t eat a box herself, she would let a girl eat hers. Again, thanks for sharing. Now please shut up and go away.

Back at the house everyone is in a great mood. Batshit however does take the opportunity to punch Portia’s picture since they will be seeing her tomorrow at the photo shoot. Kendra tells us that she just hopes that Batshit can keep it together because she doesn’t want to break up any more fights. Uhhhh…when did she break one up at all?

Upstairs Ambeer is telling KlanBarbie that she doesn’t want to go to the gay bar. She thinks if she goes and doesn’t act like a lesbian she will be labeled anti gay. Hey, I don’t like rodeos but that doesn’t make me anti cowboy. Ambeer continues telling KlanBarbie that Manly likes guys and girls but can’t get either and ends up with nothing. She then tells us she doesn’t beleve in the whole bisexual thing. You should know if you like guys or girls. She thinks that since Manly is that confused she must “suck internally.”

Doorbell. It’s Kendra’s dude Angel. After taking him around and saying Hi to everyone they go outside and she lays on the bed, he straddles her and massages her and starts talking about how she likes it rough. This gives Looney a chance to introduce them to some of her friends.

Then Looney introduces us to the cow she calls Natalie and we hear cow noises in the background.

Ambeer decides to find out if Wibur can swim and throws him into the pool, along with his other buddies. Looney decides she needs to get naked and save them.

Later Manly comes walking past KlanBarbie who asks her what she’s going to do. Seems Manly feels the need to talk to Ambeer about the big gay night out. Outside Manly confronts Ambeer and tells her that KlanBarbie said that Ambeer said “I don’t want to go there and have girls hitting on me and trying to grab me!” Ambeer denies this. Ambeer explains that although she is uncomfortable, she will go but she can’t promise she will have fun. She doesn’t want to ruin Manly’s night though. Manly counters with how Ambeer told her that she has made out with girls before.

Ambeer says that Manly is confused and Manly says she knows what she wants. She want both sexes. No confusion there. As Manly gets up to leave she tells Ambeer that she’s pissed and if she keeps it up she’s gonna punch her dead in the face.

As the next day dawns, it’s time for the photo shoot. Batshit claims that Portia has been there for hours because she needed the most work done. Then she cackles dementedly.

Here’s Portia! Ambeer and Manly run in and hug her. Kendra comes in but says nothing.

Portia walks upstairs to talk to Lexie and KlanBarbie while Batshit just sits there sulking. KlanBarbie says that Portia missed all of them and Batshit snaps at her that don’t tell her that because she didn’t ask. Sheesh take a Midol already. She also tells her that she didn’t didn’t get hit in the face yet so don’t worry about Portia. KlanBarbie walks away.

Outside Manly and Portia have a chat while smoking. Portia and her boyfriend are good and Manly tells Portia that she had every right to attack batshit for talking about her daughter. Portia says she doesn’t regret that part but she does miss Manly and Ambeer.
Manly tells her that she has promised herself she will not hit anyone no matter how mad she gets.

After a lot of chit chatting and even more makeup it’s finally time for the shoot. As the girls are taking their seats Batshit makes this request.

There are a lot of single girl shots, kissy face shots, wind blowing in their hair. You know the usual. Then we finally have the keeper shot.

Oh gross, back at home Batshit is yacking to Kendra about wanting to be a trophy wife. She doesn’t want to be broke. She tells us being broke hurts, causes stress, causes health issues.” Kendra tells her the difference is that they know that. Some people don’t seem to know that they are “living in brokeness.” This pleases Batshit because she sees Kendra as a mini her. “A Monster.” And she loves it.

Inside Ambeer calls her boyfriend for some support to guide her through this night of gayness. And now we are off to the gay club!

Ambeer and Looney are off in the corner hiding. Ambeer warns that she doesn’t understand and that she’s about to say something really inappropriate.

Manly tells us that for anyone out there who wants to judge her, go right ahead,. Because deep down inside “You know you respect me.” Ha! Like you respected Kendra last week for trying to get laid. Well if that ain’t the lesbo calling the dyke a tootie licker.

Back at the house, Ambeer asks Manly if her Mom knows she’s bisexual. Manly says her Mom knows that she likes women but she knows that she’ll marry a man and have kids. Huh?

Angel’s on the phone. Manly answers and tries to flirt. She tells him to meet them at Big Wangs.

Over at Big Wangs, by the way, I giggle every time I type that, Angel shows up. While everyone is looking at their menus, Kendra asks Angel if he’s paying for her food. He hems and haws and uhhhhhs and then says he thought they would split it. This causes Batshit to almost blow a vein. He keeps yapping about how they can talk a lot but she will see more of him through his actions. Yeah I just saw that you are a cheap ass punk.

Batshit announces yet another one of her “friends” is coming to the restaurant.

She spends most of her time trying to molest him while he keeps saying they are just friends and he has a girlfriend and blah blah blahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Portia kisses her cheap ass boyfriend goodbye. And then she gets the bill. He ate $20 worth of chicken wings and he must have “forgotten” they were supposed to split the bill because all he did was split. Some dude yells across the table that Kendra got rid of the loser so now she can get drunk. And the drinking ensues. By the time the girls get into the limo they are blitzed. And they decide that they should all make out with each other.

Even Kendra manages to lay one on Ambeer. This only irritates Manly who tells us that Ambeer needs to make up her mind. LOL.

Back at the house they have visitors.

Batshit start showing Lawrence around the house in her p.j.’s as she calls them. Up to the bedroom they go where he immediately starts making fun of her montage of Formaldehyde and herself. While he’s looking at him she’s trying to get him to crawl in bed with her.

And then we see this.

Over and over Batshit keeps telling that they are just friends. Save it bitch. No one cares.

Outside Ambeer goes off on some drunken speech about how you either like cooter or you like penis. She asks “How can you be so confused? You either lick the cooter or stick the cooter.” Needless to say Manly takes offense at this. She tries, or maybe it was Looney who tried to say they were discussing the Bible lol but Manly has lost it now.

She again tells Ambeer that she has admitted to making out with girls and Ambeer claims she was confused. By this point Manly is standing over Ambeer and screaming over and over. What does Ambeer do?

More screaming and threats continue while Manly is still trying to get out of the pool.

Ambeer keeps running back and forth screaming “Hit me! You don’t scare me ever!” Manly meanwhile is trying to get out of the pool but keeps mumbling something about her ankle. Uh oh look who made it out of the pool!

While the others are trying to stop it, Manly grabs Ambeer by the arm and hair and literally slings her ass across the concrete.

Manly tries to keep going after Ambeer all the while screaming she’s gonna kill her. The dudes that were visiting by the way, are in the corner looking scared shitless. While Kendra tries to keep Manly down, Ambeer has headed for the car. Lexie and Looney are with her and Ambeer is sort of giggling about how hard Manly slung her.

Ambeer tells us that Manly is whining about her ankle and that was not her intention to hurt her ankle but, she did. And she grins.

Meanwhile Manly is still screaming that she’s gonna kill the bitch. Then she pushes Kendra which pisses Kendra off but Manly says she’s just mad and zzzzzzzzzzzz. Manly continues her rant by saying she will beak her face, choke her in her sleep and laugh the whole time.

Back out in the car Ambeer is now hysterical and blithering and somehow Manly has hopped her way out there. Ambeer tries to get out of the car and Manly is grabbed by 2 of the production crew. Ambeer’s car then leaves and so do the dudes who were visiting.

Looney and Lexie are still shocked about how manly threw Ambeer. Even though they acknowledge that Ambeer shouldn’t have pushed her in the pool, it’s a little different than slinging someone across concrete and repeatedly threatening to kill them. Looney tells Lexie that Manly deserved to have her ankle broke.

Kendra and Batshit carry Manly out to the car and almost break her other foot trying to get her in there.

In the car Manly claims all she said to Ambeer was stop making fun of lesbians you stupid bitch. Then she whines about her ankle and how she can’t wear high heals for 2 weeks and then hopes that Ambeer comes back so she can fuck her up.

For some reason instead of continuing with the story that’s actually interesting, they cut to the next day where Batshit is giving Kendra a lecture about losers. Basically Angel and his cheap ass. And she calls him and tells him to get an envelope, write wings on it and put $20 in it, make that $23 for the 3 minutes of Dr. Natalie’s time and leave in the mailbox. He basically says no.

Back to the drama. Ambeer gets home the next morning and all the girls tell her about Manly’s threats. Meanwhile we see this.

Manly tries calling the house but all the girls look scared and don’t answer. Hahahahaha! Finally Looney answers and Manly tells her she needs a ride. Looney says ok.

Ambeer goes outside for a chat and basically wants to know where the girls stand on the issue. They all tell her the will back her up and what ever she decides they will support. All except for Batshit. She keeps quiet around them but tells us she doesn’t think that Manly is violent unless pushed to it. I wonder how many boyfriends have beaten the shit out of her?

As Kendra and Batshit arrive to pick up Pegleg Manly, the first thing out of her mouth is how she’s going to fuck that bitch up. They ask about her leg and she says it’s a fracture. Batshit warns Manly that Ambeer wants her gone so she suggests that she put on the best performance of her life and cry and beg so she can stay in the house. Manly claims she ain’t begging nobody.

Once she arrives home and everyone gathers around the begging begins. But not before Ambeer has her say. She apologizes for her foot. She says her intention wasn’t to hurt her it was to get her to shut up. She then tells her that everything that happened after that was ridiculous and she wants her to leave.

Manly pours on the tears and starts explaining that she was in a lot of pain and global warming affected her ability to process human emotion and her dog ate her home work and blither blather bleh! When Ambeer tells her it’s a consensus that she leave, Manly asks if they agree with her. Everyone looks at the floor. KlanBarbie starts it off by saying she just supports whatever Ambeer says. And then they all agree. Manly makes this face.

Manly whines some more about her ankle and how they don’t care about her. She gets up to leave and drops one of her crutches and makes a noise like she’s giving birth. Then she whines about what she had to go through to get here. Manly goes and sits on the stairs and cries. Ambeer follows her. Manly apologizes again and says she is trying and that from the bottom of her heart she is sorry. Ambeer says “I can’t even look at her right now.” She turns away from Manly. And she’s weakening.

Manly promises everything under the sun including that she will not drink anymore. She won’t get angry. She won’t even fart.

Ambeer tells us she doesn’t believe a word of it. Then she walks away from Manly. To think. She cries to Kendra, Lexie and Batshit that she can’t just forgive her in 24 hours. Batshit thinks there’s no reason for Ambeer to be scared because they think Manly has learned her lesson.

Back outside Ambeer goes to basically say don’t speak to me today but you can stay. Shocker. As Ambeer walks off Manly tells her she will prove herself and she won’t regret it.

And then we see Satan’s daughter who tells us she is so proud of Manly’s performance even though we all know that Manly could care less about Ambeer.

Later upstairs Manly is singing “I ain’t going no where.” And she also claims she’s a better actress than Johnny Depp.

She tells us that things happen and people get out of control but she doesn’t think it will happen again, but she can’t guarantee it.

So that’s it for this week. How long do you think it will be before Manly snaps again? Will the state of California have a makeup shortage due to Batshit’s massive need to cover her face?

Love and smooches,
Cherie