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Last week on Bad Girls Club, Batshit continued to be a bitch, Ambeer freaked out about going to gay club and she ended up shoving Manly into a pool. Somehow this broke Manly’s ankle. Wimpiest lesbo I’ve ever known. Anywho, no one went home but they all hate each other so lets see who tries to kill whom this week!
This week begins with PegLeg Manly attempting to walk on crutches. Now you would think that someone who has mastered the genitals of both sexes could figure out how to walk on these new fangled sticks, especially since I did it when I was 3. The crutches that is.
While the other girls giggle, PegLeg crawls her way up the stairs whining like a bitch the whole time.
Ambeer tells us she thinks it’s funny. She says she did not intentionally hurt PegLeg but PegLeg had every intention of hurting her when she slung her across the cement. She finds it amusing that she herself is not injured and PegLeg is crawling around like slug.
PegLeg whines that she can’t even take a shower and blah blah blah. I didn’t know she took them before. She also tells us it’s all good cause she’s still gonna rock it out!
Later we see PegLeg and Batshit, in the confessional, whispering. It seems they are up to no good. It’s 4:30am and they have put itching powder in KlanBarbie’s bed.
Cut to KlanBarbie tossing and turning. Finally KlanBarbie realzes that intense body itching is abnormal and gets up to investigate. She asks Ambeer if she knows anything about it and she denies it. She says her face is burning off and there is stuff all in her bed.
KlanBarbie confronts Batshit and Batshit denies knowing anything about it and suggests she has bedbugs. KlanBarbie tells us she has been provoked too much and now, she is pissed off!
Cut to Ambeer and KlanBarbie yacking about Batshit and her hyena laugh. They know when they hear it that she’s making fun of someone. Upstairs sure enough, Batshit is making fun of Looney.
Looney tells us she doesn’t care that Batshit makes fun of her and she thinks the less she reacts to it the more it pisses Batshit off. I doubt it.
More deep thoughts with Lexie and Kendra. This time about tension in the house and the fact that KlanBarbie doesn’t take herself out of things. Whatever that means. Lexie says “You can’t butter coat anything so why?” If anyone can decipher this jibberish please let me know.
Time to party! Off to the club they go. Girls are stuffing dollar bills in to greasy dudes undies. After we see this next picture KlanBarbie makes the comment that she has seen more good looking dudes here than at any other club.
Even Looney is having fun and taking aturn on the pole. And then suddenly the world turns upside down and we see these two having a sincere if not vomit inducing conversation.
The Double Dip Twins decide to kiss and make up. They decide that together than can do anything. WHAT? Batshit SPIT in your freaking face you idiot!
That’s it, I give up.
Batshit apologizes for spitting in KlanBarbies face and they swear to be lovie dovey now and forever. KlanBarbie tells us she thinks she has been over shadowed by Batshit and she just needs to keep her friends close and her enemies closer.
Another round table discussion about KlanBarbie and Batshit. Ambeer explains to the class that KlanBarbie is not strong enough on her own. Lexie tries to make a point but before I can figure out what it is Looney jumps in and explains that it’s very close to what happened with Russia during WW2. Meaning that alliances change. But still.
Upstairs the two new besties are huddled under the covers. Making fun of Lexie.
Batshit tells us that she doesn’t want to hurt Lexie’s feelings but maybe she should put down the chips and go for a run. Maybe you should sew your mouth shut and wear a bag on your head.
BirdBeakBarbie tells us that she has figured Batshit out and she knows she can take a joke so now Batshit won’t play jokes on her anymore.
The next morning BirdBeakBarbie is trying to act like she’s an angel and doesn’t want to fight with anyone anymore ever. Ok.
Upstairs Batshit is yacking about how they should be doing more things during the day. Looney attempts to speak and Batshit shuts her up. This pisses Kendra off who is sick of hearing Batshit’s mouth. She also tells us Looney needs to learn how to take up for herself.
Kendra tries later to tell Looney she would never let anyone speak to her that way and Looney actually says she’s never had experience with this. She wants to know how she talks to a crazy person. She tells her to talk to her IN HER FACE. Looney whines that then she will just yell louder and Kendra says then you tell her to shut the fuck up!
Off to Go-Cart racing.
Batshit, out of ear shot of Looney, starts saying “Annie, 10 & 2.! Then BirdBeakBarbie says Lexie will never win because she weighs too much. Is it too much to hope that BirdBeakBarbie gets hit by a stray bullet? Batshit keeps it up by calling her Miss Piggy and saying “Oink oink.” Kendra is taking all this in and not saying a word.
And they are off. I’m waiting for something dramatic to happen but it doesn’t. And the winner is….
Back at home there’s lots of whispering. If the house wasn’t split before it damn sure is now. Ambeer tells Looney that BirdBeakBarbie is only sucking up to Batshit until Manly recovers and then she will be kicked to the curb. And it’s time for another night out!
In the Limo Batshit keeps taking pics of BirdBeakBarbie and talking about how hot she is. Then BirdBeakBarbie claims to have hooked up with the number one race car driver in the world and the lead singer of Nickleback. Yippie.
At the club there is more smooching between the new besties and it’s gross and irritating. Especially to this one.
BirdBeak starts wondering what the girls at the house are doing and making fun of them. As usual. The girls at home are doing this.
Back to bitches at the club. They are leaving and as Kendra is driving BirdBeak starts her shit about Lexie and Kendra tells her not to jump on Batshit’s bandwagon. It keeps up until finally Kendra is so pissed she tells them she will pull over and make them walk if they don’t shut it. Batshit calls her bluff and so does BirdBeak. And Kendra stops the car and tells them to exit. Hahahahahaha.
They finally agree to shut up. Kendra tells us BirdBeak better watch it cause girls who talk shit are weak and she is in her world now. And she better watch her back. And I believe her.
The next morning a lady shows up to fix Batshit’s weave. Then some friends of Batshit’s arrive to watch this magical event. Of course once Lexie and Looney walk in it only takes a couple of seconds for the shit talking to start. Then Batshit starts making fun of Looney’s lips. Looney has had lip injections. When it takes 12 hours or more for someone to fix your weave I don’t think you have much room to talk about what anyone else does.
Batshit starts saying she wants the lady with the lips to come see her. Looney falls for this and tells her she will call her for her but she will need her American Express card. Everyone in the room starts laughing because they know Batshit is fucking with her. Looney stomps off to the computer to get the number for her as Ambeer tries to explain to Looney that Batshit is making a fool of her.
Finally Looney loses it and goes back into the room and starts screaming at Batshit that if she has something to say at least have the guts to say it to her face. Batshit laughs and plays dumb. Actually she wasn’t playing.
Manly is happy and proud of Looney. Manly seems to get turned on anytime a girl gets bossy.
Looney keeps yelling at Batshit that she needs to say things to her and not behind her back. All the while Batshit is yelling and laughing and saying “I got yo back Annie.” Looney screams that she does not have her back and would never have her back because it would mean she had sunk to her level and she would be embarrassed to do so.
When all is said and done Looney tells Lexie that no one has to defend her now, she knows how to deal with trailer trash. Lexie bounces on the bed and announces that she used to live in a doublewide when she was a toddler. Looney looks at her and tells her that now that she’s taking up for herself, she’s worried they may come after Lexie.
At this comment Lexie announces that she will fuck a bitch up.
The girls are all going to a bar, all except Manly and Ambeer. It’s basically the same thing we’ve seen all evening.
Then of course the Looney bashing begins again. Batshit and BirdBeakBarbie make fun of the guys Looney introduces herself too. To be fair, they were fairly ugly. Then BirdBeak makes a comment about how the biggest loser in the club doesn’t want her ass. Kendra is hearing all this and she is about to blow.
In the next scene we see BirdBeak walk up behind Looney and Looney accuses her of pushing her. BirdBeak denies this. Suddenly we are outside and Lexie is buying a bacon wrapped hotdog while on the other side of the street Batshit and BirdBeak are yelling “Don’t do it! Just say no.” Cackling like the witches they are. BirdBeak tells us that “Miss Oink Oink needs a hot dog every five seconds.” Then Batshit screams out Miss Piggy. Cackle cackle cackle.
Lexie calls BirdBeak out and asks her if she called her Miss Piggy. Denies all around. Kendra walks off in disgust.
On the way home Kendra tells BirdBeak to not be a rude ass bitch. BirdBeak plays innocent. Batshit tries to calm the situation cause she knows BirdBeak is a weak bitch and will rat her out. BirdBeak claims all she has done is sat quietly all night. Ha! Kendra starts yelling “Fuck you. Fuck you bitch. You the bitch I am after right now. Watch yourself!”
Kendra tells us she’s been frustrated with BirdBeak for a while and since she’s been picking on everyone else why don’t she pick on her now.
At the house Kendra won’t let it drop and says “Miss Piggy right Kate?” BirdBeak says she wasn’t the one who said that. Kendra is hopping up and down and asking who said it? BirdBeak is sitting on the floor looking stupid.
Batshit runs for the hills and then we see Kendra laying in bed beside Manly. BirdBeak doesn’t know when to walk away and asks Kendra what her problem is. She tells her. In triplicate. She talks about people all of the sudden when she wasn’t even there before. BirdBeak is like “Huh where was I?” Kendra tells her she was asleep. And suddenly she’s all mouthy. BirdBeak acts all innocent and Kendra jumps up and suddenly they are in each others faces. Kendra throws some water at her saying BirdBeak likes to throw shit.
And then it happens. Again.
Kendra chases her down and spits on her about 3 or 4 times. Batshit finally intervenes and says that’s enough. BirdBeak tries to play the victim and Kendra is still hopping mad and Manly is crawling after everyone on the floor lol. Just when I think it’s over, cut to the bedroom where Kendra is telling BirdBeak she has to go and then threatens to cut her weave off.
Batshit meanwhile is telling us it’s like watching herself fight herself. Someone please make this bitch go away.
Cut back to Kendra now hitting BirdBeak with a pillow and screaming get out. Then she pulls all the covers off the bed. She also tells her not to touch her vibrator, she needs that. BirdBeak finally gets off the bed mouthing that she didn’t want to be there in that bed anyway because there’s no telling how many guys have been there. She gets whacked again for that remark.
In the middle of all this Looney takes the time to tell us that she loves pillow fights and her sorority used to tape theirs and distribute them among other fraternities. I’m really starting to love this whackadoo.
This fight just keeps going. BirdBeak asks what is Kendra’s deal. Kendra says BirdBeaks a bitch. Then BirdBeak asks Ambeer why she’s smiling opening the door for Ambeer to begin her tirade. She basically calls BirdBeak a hypocrit for calling out other girls for the same shit she does and also that she will smile and or laugh any freakin time she feels like it. So suck it. Basically.
Cut to BirdBeak walking in the room and Kendra doing this.
BirdBeak tells her to put the scissors down and that if she cuts her hair off she will be going home. Kendra tells her it isn’t illegal to hold scissors. She then tells her to go away at snaps the scissors at her.
Now before any of you shit your pants like my hubby just did, no I do not condone someone cutting someone’s weave off. What I do condone is fucking with BirdBeaks head so that she thinks it could happen. The way BirdBeak has been acting she deserves some of her own medicine. And that concludes this weeks Public Service Announcement.
A small conversation takes place with Batshit and Looney. Batshit claims she only rags on her because she has never had anything done to her lips. Looney says she doesn’t care and that she has also had Botox. Guess what? So has Batshit. To prevent wrinkles on the brow. Batshit promises not to give Looney a hard time anymore and Looney believes her about as much as I do.
We have company y’all. It seems BirdBeakBarbie’s bestest friend PlaymateBarbie has come for a visit. BirdBeak tells us they have the most fun together.
They take their little party upstairs. Where Ambeer is sleeping.
Amber just grunts and rolls over as these two take turns on the pole.
Later it’s time to go out. Apparently they get to take turns with who decides where the limo goes. It’s Looney’s turn and she wants to go to a regular bar not a club. BirdBeak is displeased because she wants to go to a fancy club. Tough shit. They head for the bar.
BirdBeak bitches the whole time. Wah wah wah I want to go to a fancy club. BirdBeak goes over to Looney and tells her they will be leaving shortly. Looney asks her if she’s taking a cab! Hahahahaha!!! BirdBeak is all no everyone wants to go. Then she asks her if she minds going to Element. And she states, “I’ll buy everyone a drink.” She says it twice. BirdBeak tells us that Looney is giving her attitude and it’s pissing her off.
Unfortunately Looney finally falls for the whole “I’ll buy you drinks” thing and it’s off to Element they go. Where we see this.
Ambeer offers to split hers with her and Looney says that’s not the point. Then Looney reaches down to pick up a drink and BirdBeakBitchBarbie takes it out of her hand, gives her a dirty look and hands it to PlaymateBarbie.
BirdBeak finally just turns her back on her and starts dancing. Then she whines to us that Looney is annoying and blah blah blah. Cut to Looney telling BirdBeak that a real lady would have given up her own drink. HUh. Do you remember who you are talking to? BirdBeak replies “I’m selfish…” and that’s as far as she got before Looney knocked her drink out of her hand. Then BirdBeak pours her drink on Looney’s head. Then she pours a half carafe of cranberry juice on her head.
Then she pours juice.
What does Looney do? She starts dancing.
Next we are in the limo and BirdBeak and Looney are still arguing about the whole bar/buying drinks thing. BirdBeak tells her she doesn’t care about her tonight because her friend is in town and blah blah blahhhhhhhh! By the way if this is what passes for a hot playmate, Hef needs to retire.
More arguing in the limo and finally Looney calls BirdBeak white trash and BirdBeak sticks her lips out making fun of Looney. Once back home Looney bounces out of the car saying she’s fabulous. She goes upstairs I assume to shower singing “Bitch is white trash, bitch is white trash.” That’s an insult to white trash. And bitches.
Downstairs BirdBeak and FuglyPlaymateBarbie are shoveling food in their faces and talking about how back home they can go out and drink and dance but here the more drunk you get the more emotional you get.
Upstairs Looney is telling Manly what all happened. And she’s all happy about it too. Manly is impressed and proud. Kendra is laughing and they all decide they are going to have Team Annie shirts made up. Even Batshit congratulates her, sort of.
That’s all for this episode sweeties! Hopefully the next episode will be coming to you a bit quicker. Until then,
Love and Smooches,