Basketball Wives Mini Cap: Whose a Factor?

Recaps

By PlathAddict | Tuesday, May 31, 2011 | 8:15 am | 21 Comments
Posted in: Basketball Wives, MiniCaps, Recaps

non-factor-shitty-t-shirt

I will admit that I have never seen a single episode of this show before. So, honestly? I have no idea what I just watched. There’s some shit stirrer named Meeka who is married to some basketball player I have never heard of. There is the ex-wife of Shaquille O’neal and there is Tami from The Real World plus some other women. I think they are or were married to basketball players. But, I honestly can’t be sure.

Is this a real show? Are these women really getting paid to be on TV?

If VH1 is willing to air it, I will do my best to recap it, but I honestly have no idea what the hell I just watched.

Tami from The Real World is really mad about some bitch making T-shirts (and they are really crappy T-shirts, by the way) about saying something disrespectful because it had to do with sleeping with Tami’s man? And there is someone named Meeka who is new and playing both sides of the fence according to all of the other women.  But, they are all trying to be classy and just accept her anyway?
There is a tiny little woman named Royce who hates someone named Evelyn, who I think is the one making the T-shirts. Or, maybe she hates Evelyn’s friend?

Shaq’s ex-wife is trying to play it classy like she is totally above it all – even though she is introducing everyone to each other and sitting back to watch them all fuck each other over.

There is someone who got her condo sold out from under her and another woman (with a really weird looking face) who only appears to be friends with Tami from The Real World, and possibly the teeny tiny Royce (I can’t be sure).

They all wear gigantic earrings and try to pretend to be classier than each other. Are these women really married to professional athletes? Or, are they groupies and ex-groupies of professional athletes?

I am trying to make time to watch earlier seasons so that I have some idea of what is going on, but seriously?

From what I can gather, they go out to eat a lot and talk shit about each other while pretending that they are above talking shit about each other. Which makes no sense. Because why be on a reality TV show if you aren’t going to seriously talk shit about each other and be willing to back it up?
The most exciting thing that happened in the entire episode was someone tearing up Tami’s piece of paper after showing Tami some shitty (and they were really shitty) T-shirts.

Granted, it is Memorial Day and I have been drinking a quite a bit in honor of my homies, so I could have missed something important.
I’ll be better prepared with the full recap. In the meantime, can you guys please tell me what the hell is going on with this show?

Are any of these women actually married to famous basketball players? Will they do anything other than go out to restaurants while wearing big earrings? Is it possible that I drank way too much to catch the subtleties of Basketball Wives?

Don’t be shy. Tell me!

PlathAddict

If there were ever a situation where in which I had to choose between cheese and chocolate, cheese would win hands down. I spend my days writing blog posts for the multi-housing industry and my nights harshly judging people who appear on reality shows. If there is the odd weekend in which I am not working, or feeling smugly satisfied about my lack of my own reality show, I will build a blog for my friends. Then, I will spend the rest of my weekend conning other friends, family members, and general acquaintances to donate their talents to help out. I am shameless in my love of free stuff, blue humor, and great or even terrible fiction. I tell my friends that I watch reality shows to feel better about myself. In actuality, I watch them because I am vastly entertained by the things people will do to be famous. When Flipit asked me to join the TVGasm family, I was honored. When he said that I would be paid in Cheetos and M&M's, I was totally in.

21 Comments

  1. 1
    Moli Moli
    Posted May 31, 2011 at 8:29 am

    Please everyone answer the question!!!!! I’ve only seen the reunion and the episode where Evelyn(?)told RW Tami that she slept with her husband. I think Susie is Royce’s(who I already don’t like) friend. I’m lost after that……wait Ochoblahblah is messing around with the Evelyn chick

  2. 2
    Moli Moli
    Posted May 31, 2011 at 8:30 am

    Also…..did anyone watch that godawful show Single Ladies…I pity whoever has to recap that POS show.

  3. 3
    kdognatl
    Posted May 31, 2011 at 9:16 am

    Plath your mini cap is already hilarious and your assessment of these women not having seen a single episode is so dead on.

    I do and have watched this show regularly (not proud) since it started and I’m glad you are recapping so we can discuss and trash these women. All of these women except for Shawnie and Royce were/are with a bunch of no names bballers. Evelyn (with shitty shirts, ringleader) was with some guy for 10+ years. They were engaged, but never married. I loathe her the most and she is to me as Karan from MW is to you. She is now engaged to Chad OchoCinco. Her Bestie Jennifer (condo sold) was married to this Enemy Mine looking dude who cheated on her and never spent anytime with her. Tiny Royce’s was never married but has a baby by Dwight Howard of the Orlando Magic. You will never hear her speak of him or their child because he has some sort of injunction against her where if she even starts to say his name in public he will sue her. You know Tami, she is crazy and ghetto. Suzie has a couple of kids with some no namer. She got booted out of the click by Evelyn for gossiping too much to Starr Jones ex husband. You see the new chick trying to get in good with Evelyn from the get because for some reason there appears to be this need to impress Evelyn. I can’t stand Shawnie either, she think she is slick, but she is a major shit stirrer too. I like NONE of these women, but if I had to choose, it would be Royce. She is scrappy. Hopefully that helps some ;) Can’t wait to read your full recap

  4. 4
    PlathAddict PlathAddict
    Posted May 31, 2011 at 9:32 am

    @kdognatl,Thanks for all of the info. For a second I thought I was going crazy because I had no idea who – if anyone – I should be rooting for. And none of them seemed to have been married to anyone substantial. Working on the full recap now, hopefully I can do the show justice. @Moli I didn’t even last 2 minutes through Single Ladies. I totally pity the person who gets stuck with that one.

  5. 5
    kdognatl
    Posted May 31, 2011 at 9:33 am

    Awe Moli, was Single Ladies that bad?? I DVRd it, so don’t know when I will get around to watching it. But I do wonder why people think Stacy Dash is a good actress. I will give her hott, but not actress.

  6. 6
    MaKMck
    Posted May 31, 2011 at 9:43 am

    Evelyn & Tammy – Evelyn is the HBIC (if u don’t know what that means you haven’t been watching enough reality TV). She is the ring leader and #1 brawler/cusser. She slept with Tammy’s man loooong time ago. Apparently when tammy and the man were not married so don’t know what all the brouhaha is abt. She with chad now who is a hot footballer. Her good fren Jen was a little jealous.

    Evelyn & Royce: Evelyn was really passive aggressive mean to Royce last season, and when Royce watched back the episodes she got heated and came out swinging at the reunion special. Call Evelyn all kinds of names-all around whore. Eveleyn and Jennifer were like mean girls to Royce.

    Royce: Super annoying. Feel she bad. Fell out with everybody at the end of last season so surprised that she is back. Apparently she and tammy bonded after season 1 (as they were both outsiders)

    Tammy- Super ghetto. She and Jennifer had it out already over Jen’s claim that she never saw a food stamp. Tammy was married to a baller but now is just brawling and cussing up a storm. Drinks a lot. Super insecure and is jealous of evelyn, and the evelyn sleeping with her man thing just intensifies it. Had lipo last season.

    Shaunie – Despicable. Very very very juvenile. Gossips a lot. Good friends with Jenn and Evelyn. Friendly with Tammy. Doesn’t like Royce.

    Jennifer – Separated from her hubby last season and initatied the divorce. Hubby was very cold and don’t care. Good friends with Evelyn. Looks and acts bougie but not a push over. Nice.

    Susie (the long face Chinese looking one) – was good friends with Evelyn and then talk evelyn business (fairly innocently) so evelyn spent all of season 1 cussing her and harassing her.

  7. 7
    Moli Moli
    Posted May 31, 2011 at 10:41 am

    @kdognatl is was horrible. It was mediocre everything. I would sum it up a a poor excuse for Real Housewives of—– show(but scripted). If you paid attention to the acting(or lack thereof) you can tell without ANY doubt Queen Lafifah had a hand in the show.

  8. 8
    dazzyfresh
    Posted May 31, 2011 at 11:07 am

    Ok dear Moli…Evelyn I believe was with Antoine Walker, the former Celtic and current broke a$$ baller. Jennifer was with Eric Williams (a LOT of teams), a man with a face only a mother could love who was a scrub in the NBA and probably now scrubs toilets. Tami was with Kenny Anderson (the Nets), the pride of Queens but also has a pride of little lion children because the man got around… I only know these facts because i was curious about the ballers.

    Everything else said by everyone was spot on, i just added names for you because ive only seen the show in pieces and it gave me a headache…but your recaps are FAN-TAS-TIC…sorry i couldnt be more helpful

  9. 9
    MichyPR
    Posted May 31, 2011 at 11:23 am

    So glad to see a recap for this show, definitely a guilty pleasure. I hate that Evelyn is with Ochocinco, he is a fine piece of ass and she is just a ghetto ho. She tries to look classy and wear nice clothes but you can take the girl out of the ghetto but not the ghetto out of the girl.

    I wanted to add that I saw the show Single Ladies and I liked it :P Maybe there’s room in my heart for Dionne lol. Looking forward to the full recap!

  10. 10
    Tadow
    Posted May 31, 2011 at 3:07 pm

    those shitty shirts? when evelyn revealed that she had slept with tami’s ex-husband, tami asked what kind of woman sleeps with another woman’s husband and evelyn told tami she was a nonmotherfucking factor. evelyn did not clarify at the time that it was before Tami married him…that’s new spin.
    I think Royce is the most entertaining cast member, but she plays the fence too.

  11. 11
    NameofState
    Posted May 31, 2011 at 6:10 pm

    I thought Evelyn had said in the finale that she didn’t know at the time that Tami was married to him, meaning that he WAS with Tami, just that Evelyn didn’t realize that until later.

    At any rate, the whole thing was crazy, because Evelyn was part of the people hating Gloria (another cast member, not here this season, I guess) because Gloria’s SISTER hooked up with Shaq. And because Gloria didn’t say, “Yeah, my sister’s a dirty ho,” everyone decided she was persona non-grata and an ENEMY. It was ridiculous.

    Anyway, if the rest of the season is like this episode, I think I’ll stick to your recaps, PlathAddict. Meeka is trifling and I can probably find out about the lawsuit online, if it even happens.

  12. 12
    Rosalind Herbert
    Posted May 31, 2011 at 7:29 pm

    She (Ev) knew he was married but didn’t know to who. That’s why she called her a non mf’n factor. @MckMack, Tammi isn’t jealous of her. The whole thing was that she was smiling in her face and being fake the whole time knowing that she had an affair with her husband. Then, Shaunie boost Ev up to tell Tammi after Tammi was declaring how they were becoming friends. So when Ev told Tammi, Ev got defensive even tho she knew she was wrong. I wanted Tammi to beat the brakes off of her.

  13. 13
    someguy
    Posted May 31, 2011 at 8:14 pm

    Plath i will try and watch this show for the fun I get out of reading your great recaps.I think you hit this right ex wife’s/groupies and all around pro Ho’s.I did hear one piece of great news Real World I care about people and I am not totally self absord Tami. Her ex had a great prenup where she got next to nothing but she would not stoop as low to get a real job.This show saved her.They better ramp up the B/S because without a season 3 some of these women’s best hope is Wal mart .I can’t promise i will watch this crap but will be a faithful reader of your recaps.Good Luck

  14. 14
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 31, 2011 at 9:09 pm

    Just to give a little bit of background, Royce is an ex-dancer for two basketball teams, Miami and Orlando, I think. Being a dancer, many of the “wives” look down on her because there is this belief that the dancers are the biggest groupies with the most access to the players/husbands. So, in a sense, the wives are threatened by what Royce represents; the groupie that is going to lure her man into temptation by ‘dropping it like it’s hot’ during a halftime show.
    Meanwhile, her man is in the locker room during half time and could care less. He’ll meet plenty of groupies at the after party in the hotel suite.

    Tami is right to put Ev in her place. Evelyn who has the biggest sense of entitlement and was never a wife. The only title she has is Teen Mom. (She has an 18/19 year old daughter.) She was with Antoine Walker(not the dad), who blew threw $30 million dollars down the toilet. That’s probably why she left, more so than because he didn’t want to marry her.
    I don’t believe this Chad/Evelyn engagement storyline for a minute. Sorry. Nope. Chad is a mediawhore and just wants to be on a hit show. He can have any young, nubile creature he wants, do we really believe he is going to wife up a 35-year old, ‘rode hard and put away wet’ NBA groupie? Not on your life. Nor do I believe that scene of them at the fertility clinic. They’re trying to have kids and haven’t even talked about marriage, the wedding, anything? Plus Chad has four kids already..is he really trying to have twins with Evelyn or is this just a way to get back on TV? Since there hasn’t been any gossip about a pregnant Evelyn, we know exactly where this storyline is going to lead: nowhere.

  15. 15
    sheesh
    Posted June 1, 2011 at 5:17 am

    I PRAY to the tvgods please please do not let Tami and Evelyn squash their beef. Ever.
    Tami is the only one who can really put Evelyn in her place.

  16. 16
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted June 1, 2011 at 6:38 am

    @ Sarcas, I also believe the Ochocinco/Evelyn storyline is just a publicity stunt, as well. Evelyn has slept around ALOT (the genesis of her anger toward Suzie was Suzie telling Al Reynolds about a liaison in Vegas that *I guess* was supposed to remain a secret). We know that Ocho has done the same thing, based on that dating show he had with T.O. a while back. Two media whores = a match made in heaven.

    I like how this season is shaping up to be teams battling against one
    another. Tami/Royce/Suzie vs. Meeka/Jennifer/Evelyn/Shaunie.

    My question is: does Tami even have the basis of a lawsuit? Although the original statement was directed at her, if Evelyn uses the catchphrase to make money from it, can Tami seriously claim that the phrase seriously breached her character or whatever? I don’t really think she does, but since Evelyn didn’t apologize for sleeping with Kenny back in the day, Tami is going to do anything she can to get under Ev’s skin and I love it. Tami’s purposely mispronouncing the name of Ev’s empty store made me LMAO.

    This show is such a guilty pleasure and I’m so glad that Plath is recapping it.

  17. 17
    LAC
    Posted June 1, 2011 at 9:30 am

    Plath, run this shit down, girl! I like your recaps of Mob Wives, so this should be a laugh and a half!

    Quick rundown (according to me… :) )

    Evelyn- loathsome baller whore who was famous for clinging onto Antoine Walker even though he probably went through groupies like tissue. Has landed Ochocinco and got him to put an engagement ring on it. Both are media whores so this is either happening or going to explode big time. Zero class and has only her looks.

    Jennifer – whiny soon to ex-wife of ex basketball player Eric Williams (if Shrek’s donkey had a brother, this would be it)Passive agressive, bouchey, a follower of Evelyn, she has managed to slip into ex wife mode by letting that bitter heiffa advise her on marriage.

    Royce – former dancer for some basketball teams. Baby mama of some basketball player who has a muzzle order on her. Was a bit sympathetic in season one, but really has no purpose on the show except to shit stir. Hates Evelyn (who doesn’t?)

    Susie – ex girlfriend and baby mama to some baskeball player. Sells real estate and looks like a horse at some angles. Wants to be on TV in some news role, but has an annoying lisp. A bit of a gossip with the penchant to annoy the wrong people.

    Tami – Real World season one alumni, and ex wife of a baller. Has two daughters, but manages to act like she is still in the hood. Cannot handle her liquor, is highly defensive, and will throw down without warning. Which, when it comes to Evelyn, was good. Evelyn, as usual, was spreading her legs for another baller, and it was Tami’s separated husband. That little fact came up and Evelyn in a moment of anger told her that she was “not a muthaf—in factor” and it was off to the races. Still angry at Evelyn.

    Shaunie – the producer of this mess. Ex wife of Shaq and supreme shit stirrer. Allegedly started this show about the inside lives of women married to basketball players, but went the “bleep-bleep” beatdown route of so many of these shows. She, Evelyn, and Jennifer act as if they run Miami. Which must be news to Miami…

    Don’t know about new girl, other than she is starting the shit early.

  18. 18
    Faye
    Posted June 1, 2011 at 10:23 am

    Throwing in my 2 cents (and this will also count as part of my pledge to do 111 good deeds in 2011; this is #4 DON’T JUDGE ME)This is what I know
    Jennifer – That is her real hair
    Meeka – has the pleasure of being married to the man who a racing turtle (who looks like Jennifer’s ex) was named after on Rob and Big – Speedy Claxton. In a round about way in the premiere even she admitted he was pretty a nobody at this point

  19. 19
    Diane Marie
    Posted June 1, 2011 at 2:40 pm

    your minirecap just perfectly recapped the entire series. you nailed. no need for furthur explanation.

  20. 20
    sheesh
    Posted June 2, 2011 at 6:03 pm

    I hope we get to see Eric and his forehead goiter this season.

  21. 21
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted June 3, 2011 at 4:38 am

    Evelyn is a sorry bitch. I love the drama on the show, but I am not sure I can take another season of Evelyn.

    I really wish Tammy would molly whop her ass.

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.