Basketball Wives:Tami Roman Holiday

So, previously, I moved and was without cable, and no one volunteered to cover this abortion of a television series. Oh, yeah and the bitches (minus TinyDancerRoyce) went to Rome to spread goodwill and the classy behavior that is an American legacy.

Jennifer gave an interview to a radio station in Cleveland and Evelyn was upset about it. Apparently, Jennifer called Cinco de Mayo an attention whore and was worried about Evelyn getting hurt again. The interview itself was extremely strange as it sounded like they took Jennifer’s sound bites and talking heads from last season and played them in response to the questions. But, Evelyn was all “don’t be dissing my meal ticket…our friendship will never be the same…how dare you show concern for my well-being on the radio when you have already said the exact same things to my face on television.” And Jennifer cried and was afraid of getting the SillyPutty treatment so she wanted to make up immediately.

Please don’t give me the Suzy treatment! I’ll remember to kiss your as from now on.

Oh, and RealWorldTami spent two episodes making fun of and provoking MessyMeeka. I’m not sure why these bitches want to wait until they are in a foreign country to show their asses, but at least it livened things up a little bit. That should cover episodes 6 and 7 right? Feel free to add your own details in the comments.

Now on to episode 8 and the beat down that launched a thousand lawsuits.

Evelyn and Jennifer made up because they realized that it was a lot more fun being bitches to MessyMeeka than it was being bitches to each other.

We shouldn’t be fighting when we can use our time here to make MessyMeeka uncomfortable.

The women go to dinner and RealWorldTami plays the “I don’t want to sit next to that bitch” game. And then she starts imitating MessyMeeka’s whispery voice. I’m torn because it’s totally childish, but also really funny because I don’t like greasy assed MessyMeeka.

It’s mean to laugh but I’m going to join in with the rest of the bitches.

Anyway, RealWorldTami wants to call MessyMeeka out on all of the crap that Messy talked about RealWorldTami. See, what had happened was, MessyMeeka told Evelyn that RealWorldTami had a jacked up weave and was a terrible dresser.

OK, you know what? If you look at last season, RealWorldTami totally had a jacked up weave and no concept of how to dress her body. The way she dresses now is still pretty suspect. What? I love RealWorldTami. I’m just being real. And you know that RealWorldTami would appreciate my honesty – ‘cause she said she only likes bitches who are real.

But, I also agree that that shit was rude and MessyMeeka should have known better than to say something like that when she hadn’t even gotten to know any of the women yet. Two very important things happen here. 1. MessyMeeka totally throws away any chance of Evelyn ever siding with her when she says that the only person she talked to about RealWorldTami was Evelyn. 2. MessyMeeka realizes that she is totally caught with her shit talking and there is nothing left for her to do but own it.

Oh no this bitch didn’t just try and call me out. Doesn’t she know who I am?

Evelyn is totally backing RealWorldTami on this one (when Ike and Tina are together, they are solid y’all). She is also enjoying the hell out of MessyMeeka’s discomfort. OK. I kind of am too! I feel like a total bitch, but at least I’m still awake.

This is MY imitation of MessyMeeka

So, they argue in a very nice restaurant in ROME, cussing and carrying on like a bunch of hyenas. It’s embarrassing for black women, Americans, viewers, human beings…and still not nearly as entertaining as it should have been. Anyway, MessyMeeka apologizes for talking shit and RealWorldTami acknowledges it but doesn’t accept it. SillyPutty makes sure to say that she likes everybody’s weaves.

The ladies go sightseeing and visit the Trevi Fountain. I’m too lazy to look this up, but I thought that the point of the Trevi Fountain was to toast to your return to Rome, not to make wishes. We see the beginnings of an olive branch when RealWorlTami asks MessyMeeka to be in the group photo she is taking with the girls. It looks like RealWorldTami has calmed down and decided to squash the shit so that everyone can have a good time.

Since we’re in Rome, I guess I can offer an olive branch.

Of course MessyMeeka can’t leave well enough alone, so she decides to talk some trash to SillyPutty of all people. She makes up some shit about how when she met RealWorldTami and TinyDancerRoyce for brunch, RealWorldTami called the other women phonies. That is so not true. We saw that brunch. RealWorldTami explained that she was friends with Shaunie and Jen and had an Ike and Tina relationship with Evelyn. Again, MessyMeeka is oversharing with people she doesn’t know and it’s just going to cause more problems. At this point I don’t even feel sorry for her.

SillyPutty can’t wait to run back and tell Evelyn what MessyMeeka said. What’s funny is for all of SillyPutty’s protests; she keeps putting herself in the middle of these situations. RealWorldTami shows up and asks their advice on squashing her argument with MessyMeeka. Evelyn is practically drooling; she wants to tell what MessyMeeka said so badly. SillyPutty repeats her conversation with MessyMeeka, relishing the fact that SHE isn’t the target of anyone’s anger.

And that is the end of any peace between MessyMeeka and RealWorldTami. Evelyn begs RealWorldTami to allow her to be in the audience when the confrontation happens. Even though I don’t like Evelyn, I think I would probably do the same thing on this one. I’d want a front row seat to that discussion. I’d also plenty of snacks on hand to watch it all go down. Of course, I would know better than to be seated between the two of them when the shit went down.

The women go to a night club in Rome. Finally, the fight is coming!

The ladies all meet up and RealWorldTami is ready to roll. She asks MessyMeeka about what she said to SillyPutty point blank. MessyMeeka calls RealWorldTami a hypocrite. And before you know it, RealWorldTami sucker punches MessyMeeka and they are rolling around pulling each other’s weaves and their boobs are popping out and security is involved.

DAMMIT why won’t security mind their own fucking business?! Let these bitches fight until one of them is left bloody on the floor. That way at least the lawsuit will have been worth the money.

As much as I love RealWorldTami, this is not her finest moment. I could see her giving the girl a verbal or even a real beat down. But, MessyMeeka wasn’t even looking in Tami’s direction when she hit her. That is a sucker move. Shaunie acts all shocked that this happening, even though this is the reason she booked the trip in the first place.

I hope I look convincingly shocked by the violence.

Anyway, MessyMeeka gets out of there and the rest of the women take a cab back to the hotel. The next morning MessyMeeka leaves a note for Shuanie and heads back to Miami. She makes sure to call RealWorldTami a classless chick, and a bum bitch – which does nothing to help her cause. Basically, MessyMeeka overstepped her boundaries by trying to be friends with “the circle” and not tempering her mouth. And she repeats those same stupid actions in the letter she leaves for Shaunie.

Is cat spelled with a C or a K?

How much do you want to bet Shaunie gave MessyMeeka a bonus for this bit of shit stirring gold?

The rest of the ladies go out without MessyMeeka. Shaunie has sided with Tami and decided that now that the fighting is done, it was a bad idea for MessyMeeka to come on the trip. But, she knows that the trip was totally worth the money because not only did she get a fight out of it, she has plenty of drama for next season.

The women are getting ready to go to their final Rome dinner. And Shaunie gets the letter and reads it out loud. MessyMeeka has just signed her own death warrant as far as being a part of the circle. And RealWorldTami now has a hard on for her. It’s totally classless for Shaunie to read a letter meant for her out loud to the whole group. But, is anyone really surprised? She is a business woman after all and has to make sure RealWorldTami won’t calm down and be an adult once they get back to Miami. Otherwise, where will the drama come from?

I can’t believe she was dumb enough to leave evidence of her shit talking. I have to remember to write that bitch a check.

The ladies plan to visit the Coliseum on the way to the restaurant. They are dressed in stilettos and short tight dresses. So, of course everyone is looking at them as though they are prostitutes. They at least realize they look ridiculous and head over to the restaurant that has a view of the Coliseum. I keep expecting some guy to come up to them and ask “how much.” But, they were probably being protected by the film crew.

This was a bad idea.

I wonder how much they charge?

Do you see those hookers? Wonder if they charge by the hour or the evening?

Evelyn regrets fighting with Jen in Rome. But, she had a great time laughing at MessyMeeka. All of the women accept that RealWorldTami was willing to give MessyMeeka a chance and MessyMeeka blew it. Here is the problem with MessyMeeka, she should have listened to RealWorldTami. I’m not trying to justify RealWorldTami’s sucker punch. But, RealWorldTami told MessyMeeka to give everyone a chance and make up her own mind about who was who before she trusted anyone. She also told MessyMeeka point blank that those bitches that she was sucking up to didn’t even like her. It’s as if MessyMeeka had never been to high school before.

This is sooo the opposite of fetch. MessyMeeka should really stop trying to make “the Circle” happen for her.

The women are back in Miami and MessyMeeka invites SillyPutty out so that she can confront her about throwing her under the bus with RealWorldTami. MessyMeeka wants to know why SillyPutty would tell RealWorldTami what she said. SillyPutty basically says that she felt it was talking behind RealWorldTami’s back and she’s known RealWorldTami longer – in other words, she wasn’t going to take a beat down for some shit that MessyMeeka said to her on camera. It’s probably the smartest move SillyPutty has ever made on the show. Seriously, would you risk a RealWorldTami beat down over some greasy chick that was too stupid to slow her roll?

MessyMeeka takes an opportunity to get in her digs about SillyPutty talking too much. And SillyPutty has a point that MessyMeeka talks too much and that’s what got her into this mess in the first place. She couldn’t resist talking shit and trying to be BFF’s with the cool girls and since none of them were her friends it all came back to bite her in the ass.

We see some previews for next week with TinyDancerRoyce meeting up with Eric the Troll about his “movie opportunity.” It looks ridiculous with Jennifer on her high horse about TinyDancerRoyce going behind her back and Eric looking like a trollish tool.

Anyway, sorry this took so long guys. I thought I was being melodramatic about how terrible this show was, until I realized that No One at TVGasm was willing to cover it for me. Anyway, since we now know that MessyMeeka is suing RealWorldTami, I am curious whether we will get a re-enactment of RealWorldTami being served the papers. I wonder if she will tear that shit up or give MessyMeeka something to REALLY sue her over? Will you consider me as trashy and classless as the rest of these women if I fervently hope it’s the latter?