Recap: BSG: Free Couples Counseling in Airlock 12

There are definitely some fracked up relationships aboard Galactica: infidelity, cylon-loving, old people flirting (yuck), imaginary boyfriends –oh, and an occasional offing of a wife due to traitorous actions (RIP Mrs. Tigh – I thought she could have been spared). At the start of the show, we are reminded of a few stand-out performances in the category of dysfunction. Lee and his daddy issues – the marital woes of Chief and his frequent visits to Club Galactica – the weird chemistry between Admiral Adama and President Roslin (did they do it at the dance on New Caprica?). I was convinced they didn’t because honestly, I just really, really didn’t want to picture it, but now I’m thinking otherwise because they exchange weird smirks every time they reminisce about that romantic, drunken night… such a flirt, always flashing those sex eyes…

So it looks like this episode will focus on relationships galore – this is going to be one, long therapeutic hour. Dammit. I’m beginning to think the rest of the season will bring us more fluffy, filler episodes, chock full of drama, feelings, toothpaste shortages, then BAM, the last two episodes will be kick-ASS. So sit back… relax… be patient… throw down some whiskey — it’s time for some sharing & caring on BSG. It’s been 48 days since the last cylon sighting, so we all know they’ll come back with a vengeance and some sneaky cylon trickery… just not this episode. Anyway, hash it out, wherever you may be — in an airlock or in your head — therapy hour starts now…
BSG opens with Adama waking in bed next to some chick. Hmmm, so Adama’s not asexual after all, he’s dreaming of some booty (not Roslin’s booty, I immediately rewound to make sure). Col. Tigh ruins this dream-state by busting into Adama’s quarters and wishing him a Happy Anniversary. I bet Col. Tigh doesn’t even remember his own birthday, let alone someone else’s anniversary. I don’t even know my parents’ anniversary. This must be serious… I smell some ex-wife issues brewing. Not much has been said about his marriage, but I’m fairly certain that Adama and his ex-wife divorced while the kids were pretty young, yet old enough to be really pissed off and harbor resentment towards Daddy — as we see often with Lee.

In the less glamorous bunk of the Tyrol family, Chief is grumpy, probably because he’s not at Club Galactica. Good thing it was dollar draft night, he’ll be there by happy hour. But first, he had to go fix damage from the last cylon attack. Cally doesn’t look too happy, and I’m starting to have that awkward feeling, like when you’re over a friend’s house with the “happy” couple. You sit through their awkward silence, glares, and one-word answers, until they start to argue. You just sit there pretending to watch TV or look at their wedding pictures, ANYTHING to pretend you’re not listened even though that’s impossible. Cally gets even more irritated when Chief tells her that they both have to work, thus having to drop Nick at Lil’ Shining Star Daycare. Okay, I don’t know what the real name of the daycare is, but thought that would be a nice theme, much better than President Roslin’s “daycare” of kidnapping children and telling the parents that they’re dead.

Let me take this time to complain about something that has bothered me since I first spotted Cally. What the frack is up with her hair?? Since her big debut as a cylon assassinator and Chief-supporter, it hasn’t changed. I understand she’s a deckhand and plain-Jane mom, but there’s a daycare AND bar on Galactica, can’t someone open a freakin salon? She’s a pretty girl, but come on, brush those atrocious bangs back, throw on some lip gloss and smile for once!

Adama’s marriage doesn’t seem like it was all “hugs & puppies” (yup, stole that from Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s “Once More With Feeling” – I miss the quotable slayer). Nope, it seems like Mrs. Adama was a huge douchebag. But we do see their wedding picture and she was quite a looker, as was Adama in his day. Years have not been so kind to our beloved Admiral however…

Things are getting done on Galactica. Holes are being patched, decks are being scrubbed and the crew’s not too happy about it. Cally, Chief and a Seelix (I thought it was Felix until I kept rewinding, then checked imdb.com – because really, Seelix is a pretty stupid name or (I’m hoping) call sign, which doesn’t seem likely because she’s a deckhand — whatever it is – I’d rather be Hot Dog). But now Seelix is that awkward third person in the room having to listen to the quarreling couple, so I feel for her.

The threesome is assigned to fix a damaged airlock. Chief explains it’s just a “rough patch” in the marriage to an annoyed Cally. Then just when the two weren’t pissed off enough at each other, the doors shut automatically due to a pressure differential, thus causing the shutdown and immediate lose of air. All they have to do is plug the hole, restore pressure and the door will open. Simple, right? Hmmm, nope. The beginning credits haven’t even rolled, so I’m pretty sure there will a few setbacks here and even fewer cylons in this episode. FRACK.

Adama is doing some mental exercises while reminiscing about his home back in the colonies, equipped with a bike from the future…I wonder if it flies?

He’s talking to his wife and they can’t even get along in his head – it must’ve been one continuous “rough patch” of a marriage in real-life. His wife then says, “Maybe she has a thing for bad boys” and his “God-like façade.” The implied “she” is none other than President Roslin who just happens to be visiting Galactica for “important business”, aka, booty call.

Roslin, we learn, is stir-crazy on Colonial One, or OBE (“On Booty Expedition”) as they say on Galactica. Ok, it’s really “overcome by events”, but since that phrase is so vague, I opt for the former. The real issue at hand is Baltar. They don’t know what laws to try him under because all the colonies had different rules and this is the first big case with unknown jurisdiction

Since Adama’s dad was an attorney on Caprica, he must know something about law, right? Well, not so much, you see Adama and his daddy didn’t see eye-to-eye on many things. Roslin figures maybe some legal genes rubbed off on Lee, and she wants him to head a committee to determine the correct way to try Baltar. I wish I could get jobs that way… “Yes, my grandfather was an astrophysicist, I’m WICKED smaahht. Hire me.”

Then Adama makes some stupid joke, causing Roslin to giggle like a little school girl… oh, they are SO going to do it. Roslin goes to the gym, and Adama is revisited by the ghost-of-douchbag-exwife-past. He couldn’t intimidate her, we’re told. She knew he was only Bill Adama (he doesn’t look like a Bill), a husband who wasn’t there and a father that left his kids. Ouch. Whatever he lacked in family life, he’s made up in his military career – who doesn’t love the Admiral?? Except for maybe his whole family and some deceased in-laws?

From there, we go to the pilots’ meeting held by Lee. Helo and Hot Dog exchange some lame handshake and act like they haven’t seen each other in years. They’re all buddy-buddy until Hot Dog starts indiscreetly scratching his junk. Why? I still don’t know. I would’ve been extra fine without this scene. Maybe he’s foreshadowing an outbreak of crabs on Galactica… or maybe he fracked Starbuck… oh crap, that’s probably next week’s episode: Sex-Ed on BSG and the Crab Outbreak. His junk-scratching causes Helo to move over a seat, sprint to the bathroom and scrub his hands in scalding water and disinfect. See ya, pal.

Lee berates the pilots for their carelessness during the lull of cylon-sightings. It’s an effective, motivational speech that we’re accustomed to on BSG. Starbuck stays after and tells him to find some new material. Apparently, he took the speech verbatim from Daddy. Oh, Lee you’ll never live up to Admiral Daddy, so just steal all his material. Good idea.

Adama enters and tells Lee of Roslin’s request. Lee is flattered, saying he always wanted to be a lawyer and was always be fascinated with his grandfather’s law books. Yeah, that’s just about exciting to a kid as eating brussel sprouts and going to church or eating brussel sprouts in church. Adama had no idea of his love of all things legal. Lee said it must have been on of those “angry at Dad” phases. You mean your whole life – or just lots of “rough patches” of “angry phases”?

The Admiral is then called to the airlock where the problem has escalated into a “full-blown FUBAR,” the manual override is down, there’s NO way to open the doors and they only have a half hour left of air — oooooooooh, Chief is in the dog house big-time. You know you’re in deep crap when the rescue plan is called CRAZY. Maybe after they survive this mess, Cally will get a make-over, and the fear of losing each other will strengthen their marriage. One can dream…

We’re told that Cally and Chief will have to jump for it. People were able to live up to a minute with out pressurized suits in space. Now that should be on Fear Factor… is that show even on anymore? If not, maybe it should be the finale for the next Real World/Road Rules challenge… who wouldn’t love seeing Beth and Wes freak out, jump out into space, then explode? Is that what happens? Let’s pretend it is, either way, fun to watch, not fun to partake.

Now, the sharing and caring starts… Chief admits he was being selfish, he wanted to have Cally by his side, like the old days. You know the old days, when she had a crush on him, he was unknowingly banging a cylon, then to prove her loyalty, Cally killed the cylon who tried to off Adama. Oh, the memories… don’t forget on New Caprica where they suffered and rebelled, then Cally was captured by the cylon-controlled government officials and almost executed, aaaaaw, the good old days! But anyway, a cute and genuine gesture by the Chief, and I instantly started cheering for their marriage to succeed (AFTER Cally gets a new ‘do). They hug and apologize to each other – this is marriage counseling of the future, a little dangerous, but HIGHLY effective.

The top-dogs are sent in for the craaaazzy rescue: Lee, Starbuck, Athena, and some random guy who must be very talented. They blow the hatch and Chief and Cally come flying out into space and … they… fly… right…into… the raider! Yay! But will their body survive the minute or less blasting through space?

Back in Adama’s chamber, Lee reports that they are in the sick bay, doing well. It’s now time to patch up the old wounds between father and son Adama. Lee apologized for forgetting that today was in fact, the anniversary of his divorced parents. Do you still have to send a card for that?

The two have never really talked about the divorce, choosing to bottle up all emotions and have “angry phases” instead. Now is as good at time as any, and we all have to suffer through it. Turns out that mom wasn’t as stable as Adama thought, often losing control and hitting the bottle while taking out her frustrations on her boys. Meanwhile, the boys knew that self-centered Dad was earning medals, leading men, yet abandoning his family. Dad Adama can’t admit he made a mistake by marrying the wrong woman, thus calling into question ALL decisions he has made in the field. DEEP. Blah, blah. Blah. Blabby, blabby, blah. Did his wife love him? Who knows? Lee doesn’t seem to think so. Adama knows he had something with his wife and will revisit her every year on this day. Hopefully next year, she’s not as much of a douche.

Over at sickbay, Cally and Chief are okay. Cally’s in some weird chamber that resembles what I think would be one of those old scuba, deep-sea things, or where Ted Williams is hanging out these days. But if they say she’s ok, I believe them. Cally and Chief agree to find a balance in their life between work, love and their child. Aaw. Cute.

Now it’s Gift Time! Back at home with D, Lee finds a couple of boxes from his father. Inside were his grandfather’s law books with a note, “For that day when we all have the time. Love, Daddy.” Ok, no closing expressing his love, Adama’s too tough for that kind of pussy talk, even if it is to his son. I have a feeling that Lee didn’t get lots of hugs as a child. But still, a very kind gesture from dad.

Roslin then gives a gift to Adama. Oh, she SO wants him. Adama asks, “Do you ever think about the dance on New Caprica?” He’s making his move…smooth Admiral… but nope. Cue the lecture music and Adama starts some shpeel about war, enjoying the times, etc…etc… he’s playing hard to get.

Roslin says she’ll be back in a few days to “talk” more about that night. Uhhm, hmmmm. You go President Roslin – high-ranking officials have needs too. With that, scene ends and Adama puts his wedding photo away and says he’ll see her next year. The ghost lives.

Then we are privileged to view the lamest bonus scene ever. Why call it a bonus scene? It was just D and Gaeta gossiping and speculating about President Roslin’s frequent visits. Hello, she’s there every episode. If you’re going to call it bonus, something good better happen, or else don’t throw a nice label on it and serve it to the viewers. Call it what it is: deleted scenes.

Did you like this episode? Do you think that Adama and Roslin will do it? Are you ready for some cylon action? Are the bonus scenes really a bonus to the viewers, or just scrap from the editing floor?