Recap: Beauty and the Geek: The Wrath of Cecille

By Jordan

Last week on Beauty and the Geek, our friendly Geeks got madeover to look, well, still geeky but slightly less so, and we learned that DENTYNE gum is the greatest gum ever.  That’s DENTYNE.  Andrea and Matt got eliminated after some ridiculous questions, and Jennylee flipped out at Niels for sending her hookup interest Nate to the Elimination Room.  What’ll happen this week?And as usual we open with Nate and Cecille’s return upstairs to a round of cheers and applause.  Jennylee is just excited to see Nate because “he’s so great.”  He’s a guy I could date.  And I wouldn’t be late.  I think it’s fate.   Cecille makes me irate.  Rhyming is fun!  It’s too bad Jennylee’s name isn’t Mumbass or Betard. 

Cecille starts making a scene, bitching and moaning about how she got sent in to the ER and begins plotting her revenge almost immediately.  Whatever.

The next morning the teams gather in the living room and Mike tells them that they deserve a vacation since they’ve been working so hard.  Yeah, laying out by the pool for seven hours a day is tough!  They’re going all the way to…San Diego!

Megan tells us that she’s “very anxious to have some fun…because of so much learning and brain stuff that I need to just not think.”  Brain stuff is hard!  Me not want to think no more.  Is it hard to get through life on a sixth grade education?

But it won’t all be fun and games, because the ladies are going to have to learn about electronics.  Megan tells us that her “favorite electronic is…” and then stares off into space as a vibration noise gets played over the soundtrack.  Well that was completely inappropriate.  And probably true.  Meanwhile, the guys will have to come up with a short fitness routine to give on the beach.  Nate wins the grossest analogy award when he says, “I’m about as fit as a spoiled bottle of milk because I’m chunky and white.” 

The teams pile onto a bus to head to beautiful San Diego, where Niels tries to make up with Jennylee since she’s still bitter about the whole sending Nate in to the ER thing.  Seriously, get over it.  Like there’s some kind of shortage in the real world of dudes she can hook up with.

At their new hotel in San Diego, Nate checks out the fitness room with Cecille.  In what I can only hope is a joke, Nate is sporting the shortest pair of shorts any man has ever worn since 1972.  I think I saw a testicle.  Megan and Scooter also check out the fitness room, followed by Nadia and Mario.  This is clearly not Mario’s thing.  “I can’t do pushups.”  “I can’t do kicks.”   Jesus Christ, what can you do?  I don’t think Mario has been getting a lot of exercise playing World of Warcraft.

Outside, Cecille attempts to study but quickly becomes bored, which irritates Nate since he doesn’t want to go back to the Elimination Room again.  Back indoors, Niels and Jennylee hit up the fitness room, where she continues to be a giant pain in the ass while she tells him she hates his entire workout routine.  She says “it does make me a little sick to know that all the teams that have gone home have not gotten along and me and Niels are having problems now.”  Wait a second, all the problems are because of you! 

After spending the day studying and attempting to work out, the teams all get on a yacht and take a trip around the Bay.  I wonder how long it will take one of the Geeks to make a “king of the world” remark…

On the boat, everyone appears to be having a good time, especially Nate and Jennylee who keep flirting.  I should also mention that it appears that everyone is drinking, especially Cecille.  Erin attempts to dance on the boat in her heels, which concerns Mario because he’s afraid she’s going to fall.  Her “dancing” is more creepy than it is sexy, especially considering she’s built like an aluminum pole.  Eventually she gets on the edge of the boat and shouts “I’m the king of the world.”  Dammit, I was wrong!  I would have figured Nate for that one.  Oh well.

Cecille gets more and more belligerent on the boat, and says, “[Niels] sent me in to the Elimination Room because he’s scared.  Not only am I hot and sexy, but I’m smart and I’ll kick your ass.”  I think Cecille must be playing every 9 year old child’s favorite game, Opposite Day.  “I’m smart and fun and friendly and don’t sleep with 80 year old men for money.”

Back at the hotel, Cecille continues to become more and more drunkenly angry.  She points out how nobody will ever like Niels because he cries all the time.  While she might have a point there, she also manages to chase just about everyone out of the room except for Megan.  She also attempts to make fun of the fact that Niels goes to Berkley, which really just makes her sound even stupider.  Even Megan thinks Cecille is being an idiot.  And that says a lot.

The next morning the teams hit the beach for the Geeks to give their “Body by Geek” workout routine, with the women doing the workouts.  The judges are two fitness experts – some guy and some lady, who will be watching the whole time.

Drew is up first, and appears to make the women laugh more than sweat.  Scooter goes second and mentions something about ballet and “third position.”  Megan tells us that if “a guy asked me to go to a ballet class with him, I’d think he was gay.”  Megan also doesn’t know what third position is but she’s very comfortable in missionary and rusty trombone.

Mario is up next and he shows the girls some boxing moves, very similar to what Niels had been practicing in front of Jennylee the previous day.  Funnily enough, Jennylee thinks Mario’s routine was great even though Niels’ routine sucked.  Smells like spite.  Niels goes next and does a few odd things such as having everyone get down on all fours and “walk like a bear.” 

Nate shows up next, wearing spandex, again which I can only hope is a joke.  He does a lot more talking than actually moving, and if the goal was to workout his tongue, he might win this one.

And it’s time to choose a winner…

It’s Scooter!  And Megan and Scooter feel the thrill of victory for the first time, giving them the power to send a team into the Elimination Room.

Later, it’s time for the women’s challenge, which is supposedly about electronics.  They’re each given a metal detector, which they’ll have to use in order to find a buried box with a walkie talkie that they’ll have to “put together,” then radio their partner across a small cove.  They’ll then get a combination from their partner to unlock a kayak, which they’ll have to race across the cove.  Whoever makes it first is the winner.  I’m not entirely sure what this has to do with electronics, and Erin isn’t exactly sure what a kayak is.

The race begins, and Megan is the first to find a box, but it’s empty and she has to keep searching.  But through hard work and determination, she also manages to find the first walkie talkie and “put it together,” which involved attaching the battery (I think).  I think they use this same test on gorillas in order to measure their intelligence.  Megan runs to the beach and radios Scooter, saying over and over “Scooter, it’s Megan.”  I’m not sure who else it would be.  Unfortunately for her however, she’s not used to the intricacies of a walkie talkie and doesn’t realize that she needs to let go of the button in order to hear him respond to her.  Even the gorillas could do this part.  So instead, she stand around saying “Scooter, it’s Megan,” over and over and over.  No seriously Scooter, IT’S MEGAN!!  Scooter looks on helplessly and wonders just how stupid his partner is.  Megan wonders aloud, “Am I retarded?”  Oh that’s just too easy.

Cecille is the next to find a walkie talkie and radios Nate.  “Nate, it’s Cecille!”  Seriously, were they instructed to announce their names?  Were they expecting someone else?  “Drew, it’s Captain Kirk!”  “Mario, it’s Frodo Baggins!”  Nate tells Cecille the combination to her kayak and she hits the water.

Nadia is next to find a walkie talkie and radios Mario.  Mario gives her the combination and she jumps in her kayak, shortly behind Cecille.  Meanwhile, Megan continues to look on in disbelief.  Walkie talkies are hard!

Cecille makes it over first, giving her and Nate yet another win.  Hmm, I wonder who she’s going to send to the Elimination Room.

Back at their house in LA, Jennylee is ready to go to the ER, but she’s not ready to go home yet, mostly because Nate hasn’t tried to get in her pants yet.  Her and Niels spend some time studying.  He quizzes her some, asking what radar stands for, and when he tells her the answer she asks him where the ‘I’ comes from.  Yes.  The ‘I’ in ‘radar.’  I think the ‘I’ is for ‘idiot.’

The two winning teams discuss who they’re going to send to the ER, and Cecille is obviously adamant about sending in Jennylee and Niels.  Hold a grudge much?  At the staircase ceremony, Cecille announces she’s sending in Niels and Jennylee (obviously) and Scooter announces that he’s sending in Erin and Drew.

Upstairs, Nate apologizes to Jennylee for her being sent in.  Jennylee tells us that “it’s very emotional because I can’t imagine never seeing Nate again.”  It’s not like he lives on the moon.  It’s almost as if she’d want nothing to do with him if they weren’t on television.  Odd.

Drew makes a short speech about friendship and time and something about Star Trek and a journey and the Vulcan death grip.  It’s very moving. 

To the Elimination Room we go, where the ladies will be answering questions about electronics and the guys will be answering questions about working out.  The women are up first.

Erin gets asked “what company makes the Xbox 360?” and incorrectly answers “Xbox?”  Um, no.

Jennylee correctly answers a question about Morse Code and Nate cheers on from upstairs.  “Hey, maybe I’ll get laid after all,” he thinks.

Erin gets her next question wrong as well when she does not know what LCD stands for.

Jennylee’s last question is to spell the word ‘antenna.’  No, seriously.  That was her question.  I guess technically that had to do with electronics, but really?  Spell antenna?  That was the best they could come up with?  Jennylee proceeds to ask for the definition, the language of origin, to use it in a sentence, to say it in Spanish, and to use it in anagram form before correctly spelling it correctly.  Okay, none of that happened, but she does indeed spell the word correctly, going a perfect two for two and a major lead over Drew and Erin.

The guys are up next, and when Drew incorrectly calls the epic documentary “Pumping Iron,” “Let’s Pump Iron,” he is eliminated and Jennylee and Niels win.

Luckily for Drew, there is a transporter waiting for him outside as it’s time for him to go home.  Make it so.

We then get our usual montage of Drew and Erin and about how much they’ve learned and changed. 

Next week, Nate makes his move and a major twist is added to the game.

What did you think of this week’s episode?  Is it possible for someone to suck at life as much as Cecille?  Will Megan ever learn how to use that damn walkie talkie?