Being Human Recap: Creepy Werewolf Twins

Previously on Being Human, Aidan ran out of healthy living options and was tasked with babysitting a batshit crazy vampire whose own mother buried her for 80 years, but that might be the mother’s fault because Mother is a bitch, Sally learned she has really poor impulse control, Nora learned she really is a werewolf when she woke up naked and bloodied in a pile of leaves on someone else’s lawn (they really love that clip) and Josh worried.

As Aidan tortures himself in Tracy the blood hooker’s hallway, debating whether to feed on Tracy or just attack the hot young couple walking toward him, Josh voices over that most of us can’t pretend to be something they’re not. While Aidan fantasizes about feeding on the young couple, they slink into their apartment and Tracy answers her door, looking like Aidan’s been using her as his own human Slurpee machine. She tries to send him away but he just offers to pay her double. Even that doesn’t work because one more time and she’ll be dead but she tells him to come back later, maybe she can get “Darla” to help out. Aidan agrees but also reminds her of the standing threat that if anyone asks, he was never there.

I never noticed before that he has Angel’s low-hanging brow.

Josh continues that nothing can change who or what you are and Sally’s visiting with Zoe in the nursery, talking about how she hasn’t been visited by the carbon emissions ghost in weeks. Zoe thinks it’s a good start but, again, Sally has no impulse control and thinks she’s ready to reincarnate immediately. Zoe suggests Sally join her “ghost support group” but Sally’s not interested and thinks she doesn’t have to hang around with them because she’s a “special case” since she thinks she’s only still on this plane because she passed up her door. Zoe reminds her that she also thinks she “summoned pure evil into the world” making it kind of a wash.

Sally has no clever comeback for that so Josh continues voicing over about how if you hate what you are you feed whatever lie you need to make it real, but who you are never goes away, it just waits for you. Josh’s downer VO is broken up by hunky/nerdy Doctor Forrest coming into the nursery telling Zoe he was hoping to see her there. In addition to no impulse control, Sally’s a magpie and easily distracted by tall men and sallies over to the doctor. He asks after one of the babies who’s doing better, but Zoe just grunts answers to the doctor without making eye contact. He eventually leaves with a “nice chatting with you,” which sounded more like “Freak.”

Isn’t he cuter than that Tony Hawk looking ghost?

Sally agrees and wants to know just how much time Zoe actually spends with the living. Excluding babies? None. Zoe says she’s never seen any reason to but Sally’s confounded by that, especially since Sally’s already crushing on the tall doctor and projects her crush onto Zoe.

Final establishing scene has Josh cleaning up the hallway and telling us in voice over that we spend so much time trying to hide what’s there but that the lies we so meticulously craft…his voice over gets cut short by a Darien, CT looking blonde with spooky blue eyes. She rushes up to Josh and tells him she needs his help getting her brother out of the psych ward. He thinks she has him confused with a doctor or a nurse, so he tells her he can’t help because he’s just an orderly. Josh finishes up his voice over telling us that in the end the only person fooled by your lies is you while Darien Girl tells us she didn’t come to Josh because he’s a doctor, she came because he’s a wolf. Oops.

How can you tell?  Do I smell…musky?

Josh, who lives in a perpetual state of anxiety, amps it up wanting to know how she knew he was a wolf, then sniffs his armpit because, isn’t that what we’d all do if someone knew we were werewolves? Assume our BO gave it away? Darien Girl tells him she’s a wolf, too, and she and her brother Connor can just “tell.” She continues that her brother isn’t crazy, he just got in a fight, which he “almost never does” but some guys were picking on him. Josh also lives in a perpetual state of guilt and shame so he brings up that “almost never” isn’t really a defense.

She’s listening, but not, and says that he couldn’t pull himself together and the cops brought him to the hospital. Josh thinks that Connor, while being a very nice guy, may need some cooling off time. Darien Girl gets frantic making a personal plea which means nothing Josh then asks how long can the hospital hold Connor. Josh tells her involuntary holds are for a week and she realizes that puts them into the next full moon. THIS pings all of Josh’s perpetual states and he decides to help them, if only to prevent Connor from tearing up the hospital when he wolfs out. He tells her to go around to a service entrance out back and lets himself into the lockdown ward.

Everyone looks harmless when they’re strapped to a bed.

Sally’s with Zoe in the hospital courtyard and is literally skipping around Zoe. Zoe wonders why she couldn’t just eat her lunch in her office like she always does and why the hell is Sally bouncing around like an asshole, until she sees Dr. Forrest and tells Sally she hates her so hard. Sally tries to play Cyrano to Zoe’s Christian, and Dr. Forrest is, again, chipper with the freaky nurse. He tries small talk by saying he never sees her out there but she shoots him down with a curt “Because I don’t like it.” He offers her some of his “vending machine tuna” sandwich and she grunts that she’s allergic. Sally actually has to remind Zoe to thank him because, clearly, Zoe was raised by the people under the stairs.

Dr. Forrest isn’t deterred and mentions that he heard Zoe was from Sudbury and his mother taught high school there. Zoe just keeps looking at Sally who tells her to say “That’s interesting” but Zoe says, out loud, that it isn’t and insults the good doctor by telling him that what he said wasn’t interesting. He’s reaching the end of his tether so Sally tells Zoe to giggle and flip her hair. Zoe thinks that sounds stupid but as Dr. Forrest goes to excuse himself, Zoe lets out the most awkward laugh and hair flip and freezes him on the bench for a moment before he slinks off, embarrassed for her. Sally tries to remain optimistic and says they have room for improvement, but realizes it’s a harder slog than she planned when Zoe can’t even remember when her last date was.

He’s really not that into you.

Sally’s decided to take advantage of the perks of invisibility and is hanging with the boys in the hospital’s men’s locker room, sneaking peeks at the hot, shirtless extra, before Josh asks if he seems extra “wolfie.” Sally doesn’t think so and gets in a cheap shot at Aidan, the “Pale Rider” (FYI – also code for the fourth horseman, Death), and while Josh struggles to get out of his scrubs Aidan defends himself that he just had a rough night. As Josh would say, not really a defense.

Aidan wants to know why Josh is being extra Joshie and Josh lets Aidan and Sally know that another werewolf just walked up to him and called him out. He continues with his story about how he helped her break her werewolf brother out of the psych ward because he seemed “harmless” but Sally and Aidan point out that Danny and Ray seemed harmless, too. Josh adds that he didn’t know what else to do, since there was another full moon coming up soon and he didn’t want the psych ward to turn into Thunderdome.

You know it’s a bad day when you lose a fight with your shirt.

Sally’s reached the end of her empathy and tells Josh she’s sure it will be fine because he’s still fighting a losing battle against his clothes and is two seconds away from an epic wobble. Sally moves on to asking what the guys know about Dr. Forrest. She asks if they hang out and Josh reminds her of the hierarchy and Aidan says he’s new. Sally thinks this makes him “training wheels for Zoe,” but…he’s only new to the hospital. He’s local and clearly an educated man in his 30s so, maybe a bit too sophisticated for the freak who spends her days talking to newborns and ghosts.

Aidan says it in a more politic way by pointing out that he saw Forrest have lunch with a woman last week, but Sally’s on her mission and dismisses lunch because serious couple eat together at night. This only confuses Josh so he makes a nerdy 24 analogy that Sally ignores because Josh “just let a werewolf out of the nutwing.” Plus, he made sense. Time to exposit/segue so Sally asks who’s going to be home that night. Josh, because Nora’s working doubles all week to explain her absence when Josh does things he’d never do with Nora, but Aidan won’t because he has “things to do.” Josh tells him that’s creepy and Sally randomly says she hopes “she’s worth it” and then they leave so Aidan can flash back to 1930 and his unfortunate moustache.

So close…if only I couldn’t see the glue.

He’s busy shoving Suren’s bloodied face in a wash basin while she pouts about who does he think he is. Aidan says he’s the unluckiest vampire in Boston, again (when was the first time?) and she sasses him about how he used to be a great warrior but Aidan snides about how if she’s going to lecture him about squandered talent, he’ll pull up a chair since she’s the expert. She’s trying to trump him that she’s a royal and has guards all over who’ll do her bidding but Aidan couldn’t give less of a shit at that moment and tells her to stop using her mother as an excuse to do nothing.

In the present, they’re both a little less bitchy with each other, though the animosity is still lingering beneath the surface, when Suren tells him he looks like shit and he says “He’s there,” like they’re a married couple in counseling. Then he sees the Fester sitting on the sofa and asks who he is. The Fester’s excited to see Aidan and asks if he’s “one,” too. Aidan plays dumb (not hard) asking “One what?” and Suren tells Aidan the Fester knows they’re vampires.

Fester knew a stripper who got a sweet offer but not for sex, for blood, and when he found out there were vampires in Boston, he offered up his services. He can provide them with all the blood hookers and politicians they need and if they need any messes cleaned up, he’s in “waste management,” and all in exchange for being turned. Suren thinks it’s a good deal but Aidan points out that giving someone like the Fester that kind of power to kill everyone who crosses him isn’t a good idea.

He’s altogether mooky…

Aidan says they don’t need his help but Suren says until she gets it from her own (Bishop’s) people she does then Fester brings up their “orphan problem” and that one of them tried to grab two girls from soccer practice. Aidan says their handling the “orphan problem” but the Fester says that since they’re living outside the law the people they’re talking to are talking to him. Suren thinks the Fester will tell them where the orphans are, but he has one in his trunk. As the orphan strains against the ropes, the Fester is excited while Aidan’s repulsed.

The Fester and Suren are talking about how their relationship can be mutually beneficial, but Aidan says they already have vampires on the PD who handle these situations. Fester doesn’t think people are looking for the cops to handle guys who grab little girls. Aidan still doesn’t want to trust him since they don’t know him but Suren dismisses Aidan that the Fester’s done more to cull the orphans than he has, then stakes the orphan. Suren’s gangster, and the Fester wants to know how to do that. She says, “Heart, wood. We’ll be in touch.” I guess she really is her mother’s daughter. As the Fester drives off, Suren tells Aidan he needs a drink.

You won’t like Suren when she’s angry.

Then the crazy starts to come out when she gets butthurt and hectors Aidan about how if he’s so damn anxious to get away from them…her…he should be begging her to take the Fester’s offer. Aidan’s all FML and tells her it has nothing to do with her, but that if they turn him they’re responsible for him and all they know is that he would sell out his own family for a better offer. And then, the specter of a big, sinister, blond vampire swoops over everything as Suren starts trashing Bishop’s expansion plan, saying that Mother thinks they work best when they’re least seen. Because it’s really always all about Bishop. Aidan backtracks it, though, to agree with the philosophy of leaving a light footprint, but that Fester wasn’t the right option.

This leads into another flashback to Aidan’s dumb moustache. This time a vampire named Henry is talking to it about how Suren and Mother can’t keep treating Aidan like this, like he’s her nanny. Aidan’s soigné about it all because he can’t see his stupid moustache and encourages Henry to just ride it out and that Mother’s circus will leave Boston soon enough. Henry thinks that Mother will just keep coming back and keeping Aidan in her control forever.

So not Mark Pellegrino

Aidan questions Henry’s concern, thinking that Henry’s only looking for more power for himself through Aidan. Henry, who is Aidan’s “child” points out that Aidan made being a vampire sound like “steak dinners and chorus girls” and not a bread line. This is the Depression and Aidan points out that Henry is likely a young enough vampire to still be human in 1930, so he should be thankful that he’s not in a literal bread line.

Henry, unsurprisingly, doesn’t do gratitude and is chafing at having to be in service to the freaky royals while always being on the outside. He goes on about how Aidan’s always making excuses for Suren, blaming Mother for Suren’s shortcomings and why can’t Aidan make excuses for his own child. And even when he was dirty, dirty evil, a child reference brings out the wounded bird in Aidan so he tries to cover it up by posturing that he’s tired of waiting for Suren as she walks up. She pretends to apologize for making him wait, and Aidan, ever the perfect middle-manager, tells her no apologies are necessary but thanks her, anyway. As she swishes away, Aidan tells Henry to buy himself a proper suit because he’ll talk to Mother about putting Henry on Suren’s detail. Henry grins like the child who knows he has his father wrapped around his finger but Aidan just tells him to wipe it off his face.

Josh is walking home down the middle of the street at night for some reason when an asshole in a red Porsche comes screaming down the street, stopping right in front of Josh. It’s the creepy twins, coming to thank Josh for busting Connor out of the hospital. They want to take him out for a drink. Josh tries to say no but they insist because it’s been a while since they’ve met one of them that they wanted to hang out with. This leads Josh to wondering how a brother/sister could get turned and they let Josh know they weren’t turned, they’re “purebreds.” Connor accurately deduces that Josh needs a drink, now, and with Nora conveniently written out of the episode, he joins them.

Is this the After School Special where Helen Hunt jumps out of a school window?

They decide to time travel back to Less Than Zero and while Connor acts like a tool, Darien Girl, Brynn, half defends him but admits that he probably knows he’s a tool but doesn’t care since they’re rich. The waitress brings by some drinks and Josh tries to pay for his, but Connor belittles him that it’s “cute” that he gets his “little wallet” out and everything. And a fine fuck you to you, too, Connor. Josh sits back down with Brynn while Connor just pulls out a little brown coke vial and takes a hit. Josh is all “The hell?” so Brynn explains that it’s not coke it’s “aconite” or wolfsbane. Works like werewolf Xanax and keeps Connor from really becoming a total over-privileged douchebag. Only she says it nicer by saying that it helps them not feel like every day is the day before a full moon where their senses are heightened but they want to jump out of their skin.

Sally’s with Zoe as she sets up for her “ghost support group.” Zoe tries to explain why she was such a dork with the doctor and says maybe he was too smooth or too good looking but Sally pinpoints that he was too human. Zoe agrees that ghosts are easier because they don’t have time to waste, they just want to move on, but Sally wonders if they’re so well-adjusted, why the support group. Zoe blows her off as the ghosts start arriving. A hippie and a granola cruncher come in and Sally’s doesn’t think they’re her kind of ghosts but before she can leave she sees Nick and his ugly scarf and rethinks leaving.

Dr. Who realness

Zoe’s surprised that they know each other but Nick says “from college” ignoring that he was on last season, so Sally fills in that blank. They get geeky and awkward about it until Nick apologizes for being a wuss and Sally Sallys out, thinking about how she’s going to plan her ghost wedding by stealing ideas from Pinterest.

Closing time at the club and the creepy twins still have Josh corralled, but he’s a little less on edge as Brynn explains that they’ve traced their wolfline back 12 or 13 generations to Scotland where the family still has an estate. Josh thinks that’s cool and wonders if they’ve been. Connor douches some more about how he goes back for the “British Open” at St. Andrews (really, is golf that cool?) but otherwise, why bother? Josh wants to punch Connor but he was raised with manners so he just stammers a circuitous insult while Brynn points out that his life is kind of unique, too.

This guy needs to be punched just on principle.

Connor jumps in to douche about why someone would go from MIT to being an orderly so Josh thinks he’s obviousing that being a werewolf put an end to his previous life. Connor tells him not to use the wolf as an excuse, and they’re really on different planes because Josh can’t see that being born that way may be different and Connor’s too much of a prick to see someone else’s point of view.

Josh mentions that he’s trying to find a cure which piques Connor’s interest and he goes from douche to twitching nerd in .1 seconds, saying he’s looking for a cure, too. Brynn points out that talking isn’t the same as looking but Connor wants in on Josh’s work. All of Josh’s perpetual states kick in at once and he says he wasn’t asking for help but Connor says he’s offering and wants to come by the lab to see what Josh has. Josh turns him down and Connor switches, again, this time into the crazy, aggressive dick who got put on lockdown. Still not reading cues very well, Josh antagonizes him and Brynn jumps in between because she’ barely weighs 100 pound and I’m sure she can control her wackjob of a brother. But Connor’s so used to having his ass kissed he wonders why he’s the jerk when they “took Josh out.” (As a thank you for not leaving his ass on lockdown, but why quibble?) Josh does have some pride left, so he leaves, saying goodbye to Brynn and slapping a bill at Connor. Boys, just measure your dicks and be done with it.

Josh learns the hard way that gratitude means something different to stinking rich people.

Over at the ghost group, an older ghost gives his testimony about resisting the urge to possess someone because of the group, and they break for the evening. Nick and his scarf sit with Sally and tells her that she’s the reason he came to the group. He says her basically calling him an emo loser was the kick in the pants he needed to stop being one and Zoe gives them the side eye. Nick then tells Sally about this new restaurant on Copley and asks her to go haunt it with him. Thinking it’s a date, Sally gets all smiley and squirmy as she accepts.

Back at the house, Aidan’s detoxing and flashing back to earlier that evening when he went back to Tracy’s. A little girl answers the door and Aidan, not putting two and two together, asks for Tracy. The little girl says she’s not home. She’s Darla and says that Tracy said he might need something. Then she offers Aidan the knife Tracy used to open her veins. Aidan’s not nearly far enough gone to take advantage of the offer and runs off in horror.

I think this is what you call rock bottom.

Sally’s in the nursery with Zoe talking about how great Nick looks and how she’s the reason he stopped being such a drowning loser and if he keeps this up, maybe she’ll start dating him again. Zoe’s all “Bluh..whuh, he never told me you two dated.” Sally says it was more like “bumping energies in the kitchen.” Zoe’s still being awkward wondering why he never told her about any of this but Sally can’t figure out why he would…although, that might just be because Sally’s really self-involved because, duh, Zoe’s been “seeing” Nick.

To her credit, though, Sally tries really hard not to have a fit and Zoe’s as bad at picking up cues as Josh is so she actually believes Sally’s happy for her. She tells Sally that she’s the reason they met and also the reason she decided she wants to be with Nick because without the whole Cyrano thing with Dr. Forrest she’d have never really thought about her options or that she really wants to be with Nick. Sally says she’s happy for her and this is what she was pushing, although Sally really saw her with a human since Zoe’s not dead and all, but Zoe says it feels like a first love in junior high, and she’s never had that. Sally smiles really aggressively and says “Big yay,” wondering if she’s ever going to just meet another cute if self-involved ghost she can just hang with.

Her mouth says “Big yay!” Her eyes say “Big freak!”

Aidan’s still in the kitchen detoxing the next morning when Josh comes down. Unaware of all the shit Aidan’s been through Josh just grunts and tells him he looks as bad as Josh feels, because that’s always what you want to hear when you know you look like hell. Aidan wonders what happened to Josh’s quiet night in so Josh fills him in on the creepy twins taking him to a club and offering to work with him on finding a cure. Aidan snots “Those bastards,” but Josh wants to stay up on his high horse and says they’re pretty hateable. Aidan huffs out an “Okay,” without making eye contact finally unleashing the wobble Josh has been holding back ever since he met Brynn.

He goes off on Aidan for using his “judgey” okay and that he’d have still hated the twins before he got attacked because Connor’s the type of tool who gets a brand new car at 16 but crashes it so he can get a better one at 17 and Brynn probably had a pony when she was little that she loved right up until she ATE it. Josh has the best fits out of them all. Aidan just sneers a whispery little “Yeeaah, they do sound hateable,” and Josh kind of knows he’s beat. By the way, they finally replaced the billiard balls with actual apples in the fruit basket but I know. I know there were billiard balls for the first three episodes.

Mid-wobble

Aidan gets up from the table because he’s having another wave of detox nausea throwing him back to 1930. The Flower Duet is playing on the phonograph, but I’m not fancy enough to ID opera arias on my own, I just recognize it as a shout out to the big lesbian scene in The Hunger, and Suren comes out of her bedroom in a slinky pink dress telling Aidan she needs him to finish her off. He gets the same bemused look I had, but she just wants him to zip up her dress.

Suren wonders why Mother assigned Aidan as her escort and he says because anyone else would have thrown her off the roof. Aidan zips up her dress and we see Suren’s tattoos which have been pretty obvious but not really talked about, and she decides to release her crazy in an almost imperceptible stream, saying Mother knew exactly why she chose Aidan and then wondering what it would have been like if they just met on the street. Aidan’s never been the brightest bulb in the pack and flirts back with her, teasing that they would have gotten along quite well until he got to know her and threw her off a roof. Oh, Aidan. Don’t enable the crazy. I know it’s 1930, but didn’t you see Fatal Attraction?

Suren gets all whispery telling Aidan he told her to start making her own decisions but she’ll never be out of Mother’s shadow unless she leaves everything behind, and there was never a reason until now, until she met Aidan and…well, he’s Aidan. He’s buying what she’s selling. But before he gives in, he tells her they didn’t meet as strangers and walks out. The ominous modern music, and her twitching nostrils imply that there’s probably a lot more about to go down.

He’s not even a challenge.

Aidan’s back in the present and looking clammy. Josh is looking for advice, though, so Aidan says if anyone knows what Josh is going through, it’s him and he thinks that if taking douchebag Connor’s money means he can find a cure, then Josh should take the money. He softens a little and tells Josh that they’re always saying no to people like the creepy twins because they’re afraid of becoming like them, but it doesn’t have to happen. If saying yes means Josh can get his life back, he needs to say yes and get his life back. Aidan’s really twitching at this point and as Josh leaves the house, Aidan calls Suren, telling her if she’s so hellbent to turn the mobster, then they’ll turn him.

Back in 1930, and Henry’s giving Aidan hell for walking out on Suren instead of improving their station. Aidan’s been around a lot longer, though, and tells Henry it would have been a disaster to give in because the royals never pay for their mistakes. Henry points out that Aidan always said that Suren was different, but Aidan says Mother wouldn’t have allowed it and Suren wasn’t ready to walk away from everything. Or sane enough, but that part may have been implied.

I’m totally sure Aidan can trust this guy.

Henry’s a much younger vampire, though, and doesn’t have the patience to wait for Suren to be ready. He thinks all Aidan needs to do is stay on Mother’s good side and they can have it all, now. Aidan’s old enough to be willing to wait his turn but Henry thinks that Suren’s the key because of the way she looks at Aidan, and Henry wonders if Aidan wants “it.” That tweaks Aidan and he asks if Henry doesn’t mean “her”, rhetorically asking if Henry wasn’t really thinking about Suren at all.

Sally’s at the park where she first saw Nick and they’re talking about how he asked her out on a date at group. He says “Oh, that was just to thank you for not dating me earlier because that led me to Zoe,” but neither of them bring up the fact that he never told her about dating Zoe because, obviously, this episode was written by a man. (Sorry, ‘bout it.) Sally brings up that it’s probably not the best thing in the world for a ghost to pursue a human, especially one like Zoe, since she’s really never known anything else and she’s a good person and she deserves to get laid at least once while she’s alive.

Sally also brings up the elephant in the room that Nick needs to take five minutes out of every day to drown so he can feel alive and says Zoe deserves better than that. Nick agrees and says that’s why he stopped doing it. Once he met Zoe, he no longer needed to relive his death. At this point, though, Sally’s too wrapped up in Sallyland to realize that Nick’s just replaced reliving his death with dating a human and he’s still an addict emo loser who’s just replaced one bad habit with another, and is only focused on how she wasn’t enough to get him to change.

Can’t see how she dodge a bullet with this one.

Josh takes the creepy twins to the storage unit where he keeps his wolf research and like the true plutocrat that Connor is, he just laughs at Josh’s set up, never realizing that it’s still far more ambitious than his talk. Rather than punch him, Josh explains his working theory and methodology but Connor’s an asshole. He wants to know what Josh would do with money. Josh would get MRIs and blood panels as close to the full moon as possible, searching for the initial mutation that brings on the change. If he can find the trigger, he can turn it off. Connor and Brynn get a little too excited about this as Connor wonders if he could turn the trigger on permanently. Josh is still in Mr. Science mode and says “theoretically” before realizing that they don’t want to turn it on in theory.

Josh bum rushes them out of the unit, telling them that they want to be monsters all the time. Connor, again, wants to get into a dick measuring contest with Josh but I think Josh wins this round and Brynn stays behind to talk with Josh. Josh says the wolf is everything he hates about himself. Brynn sounds sympathetic but she doesn’t see the wolf the same way. Everything she thinks is special about herself she has to push down and can only be what she thinks is her true self, the wolf, once a month. Josh says the human is the best part of her, but Brynn tells him that if he feels like a monster one day a month, she and Connor feel that way the other 29, successfully pinging every one of Josh’s perpetual states.

Not crazy at all.

Sally goes down to the nursery to visit with Zoe but Nick’s already there. Zoe closes the blinds because they’re really dorky but Sally gets a sad…until she sees Dr. Handsome leaving for the night. She follows him out of the hospital just as he’s meeting up with a curly-haired woman he calls “Baby.”

Sally’s none too pleased about this, but we don’t follow up because Aidan’s looking like hell down at the Halloway. Suren brings in the Fester, and he says that they won’t regret this. Aidan and his clammy face get up as Suren tells the Fester he won’t feel a thing because he has a legend for a maker. Aidan bites down, gently for him, and the Fester and Suren exchange the hoariest cliché which makes Aidan cry at how corny vampires are, leading into another flashback.

Aidan comes to Suren’s suite with a suitcase and two train tickets to Chicago, just like he told Henry, and tells Suren she’s right..but before he can go further he sees Suren’s naked back clearly on top of someone as Henry’s sheepish head pops up. DAYUM. Ungrateful little brat. Aidan tells Henry to get out, but Henry’s all “Yeah, kind of busy here. Come back in five.” Aidan’s not listening, he’s looking for the stake Suren keeps in her dresser for just such an emergency. He tells Henry he knew how this would end but before he can stake Henry, Suren puts herself between them, telling Aidan he made his decision, and she’s made hers.

Who has two thumbs and is an asshole? THIS guy!

Aidan’s back in the present and bitch feeding off the Fester because 80 years is a long time to hold a grudge. Suren’s happy to see Aidan getting back to his old self but pretends to be concerned for the Fester because Aidan’s killing him. She finishes with an “I told you so,” before joining in. Aidan looks at her, flashes back on all the treachery from the past and practically breaks the Fester’s neck to get back to full strength, saying “This time…she’s mine.” Then they make out over the dead mook with his blood streaming down their faces because vampires are really gross, too.

Plinking piano of soul searching starts plinking as Josh calls Nora, reminding us all how much we missed her and want her back next week. He’s thought about it and wants her to meet the twins to get her take on the situation because he thinks that deep down they all want the same thing. Except, we’re looking at the twins in night vision and they’re stalking a deer and eating it whole while still in human form, so maybe not. That’s even nastier than Aidan and Suren.

Perfectly normal

Sally’s in a tree watching Forrest and his pretty lady, who says it should be illegal to be this happy. Sally rolls her eyes, because she’s our manqué, but as they continue to make out…Sally gets an idea. Figuring that pretty lady is too preoccupied with Dr. Handsome, she’s likely to be more “receptive” to possession and Sally just leaps right in. Dr. Handsome notices a change and asks if everything’s okay but girlfriend says it’s perfect as Sally finishes making out with Dr. Handsome.

But we can’t end on sexy, fun times. Time for one last visit to the Halloway where Aidan and Suren are lying around next to the fainting couch in their underwear and covered in the dead Fester’s blood. Suren understates the obvious that “Mother’s going to be pissed.” Ya think?

So, we always knew what Sally’s and Aidan’s temptations are, but I didn’t realize what Josh would deal with until now. While Sally and Aidan are wrestling with their personal demons, Josh will likely play god and try to reverse what nature hath wrought. That can’t end well.

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