Being Human Recap: Don’t Fear the Eurotrash

Previously on Being Human: Sally was being haunted by industrial pollution, some creepy, ginger vampire missed his ride back to Amish country because WereNora killed Heggeman, Nora showed just how suggestible she is when she killed her ex and Josh stopped worrying and showed very poor judgment.

Pretty!

A full moon and a roar take us straight into the action as Nora voices over that from the moment we’re born we’re put into categories. Meanwhile, Aidan’s hauling ass through the woods as WereVision follows him. Nora continues that we spend our lives trying to define ourselves, but there are only two real categories: predator and prey.

Aidan catches up with creepy Amish ginger vampire, Atlee, who wants to know how many are following him. When Aidan says four Atlee shows exactly how he became one of the ancient vampires by booking it out of the woods and letting Aidan deal with them. Aidan keeps running, pulling out a knife in the process, but as we switch to WereVision, Aidan softens when he realizes the wolf is Nora. Oh NOES!

Next morning and a naked, dirty and bloodied Nora wakes up in the tall grass because this is basic cable, while voice over Nora asks, “Once you choose which side you’re on, can you live with the consequences?” and we see that a naked, dirty, bloodied and, of course, worried, Josh is next to her. She’s looking catatonic prompting Josh to freak over what they did. Indeed, Josh. Indeed.

Wait. I meant “Is that what you look like in the morning?” in a good way.

Rather than find out, though, we’re flashing back 24 hours. Josh has finished taking what appears to be a two-hour shower based on how steamy the bathroom is, and walks over to the sink to brush his teeth. When he takes the toothpaste out of the medicine cabinet, though, his mirror has decided to call him a whore. RUDE! Josh is even more celibate than Sally, and she’s a ghost.

Aidan’s downstairs and looking hale and hearty now that he’s back on the vein. He goes to the kitchen to pick up a section of the newspaper…and why do they have so many lamps all over the house? Seriously, take a look. There’s one on top of the refrigerator, one on the microwave, there appears to be another one just resting on some cereal boxes, and about 15 in the living room, not including wall sconces. First the billiard balls in the fruit basket, then the cat in the catcher’s mask, now the lamps. Their house is like a Highlights game.

But that’s neither here nor there, the point is that when Aidan turns back around all the chairs are precariously piled on the kitchen table, making sure not to disturb the fruit basket with its real apples. Sally’s in the living room wondering why their 392 lamps are all flickering but Josh just wants to know why the bathroom mirror is so rude. Aidan asks about poltergeisting the kitchen chairs and they both want Sally to knock it off with the lights because it’s on the verge of giving Josh a seizure.

Not even half of them

Sally, being Sally, refuses to accept any responsibility saying they can’t even be sure it’s a ghost and they’ve all pissed off enough…things… “to wage a short by consequential war.” Of course, Sally’s reasoning has holes, like the fact that vampires can’t enter their home without an invitation, and, as Josh points out neither he nor Aidan “recently played Maria von Trapp [he would reference The Sound of Music] to a group of ghostly teenaged wastelands.” Sally gets wistful, telling the guys that they were her friends, except the one who tried to rape her, and Stevie killed him for good.

Aidan’s brain is rattling at the Sally logic while Josh stopped listening to her as soon as she started talking. Josh can’t handle the lights so he bolts while Aidan plays Big Daddy and tells her it’s fine but just find a way to make it stop.

They do realize I have no attention span in the best of times, right?

Down at the hospital a glowing head of bright red hair is walking down a corridor. It’s Atlee, come to see Aidan. Aidan’s all “Oh, shit. I thought you were gone,” but is more polite about it, saying he didn’t realize Atlee was in Boston. Atlee just says there’s a situation and Aidan, realizing that his good looks can only accommodate so much WTFery, asks Atlee if they can’t discuss the matter later at the hotel, but Atlee keeps talking in his outdoor voice about “the Boston clan’s blatant disregard for manners,” and Aidan’s all FML.

Atlee claims that Aidan, Suren and Mother are all being evasive. Aidan’s all “I’m always evasive, be more specific,” so Atlee asks about Heggeman’s “disappearance,” then clarifies that to say Heggeman’s death. Aidan metaphorically does the giant, cartoony GULP, but asks whatever made Atlee think Heggeman’s dead. Atlee’s all “Bitch, please. Heggeman was here doing Mother’s bidding, now he’s gone. No one knows what he was doing, but they all keep bringing up your name.”

Inconspicuous

Aidan says it’s nothing more than gossip, but Atlee brings up that Aidan was present when Bishop killed the other Dutch. Aidan corrects the git that he’s the one who saved Heggeman and Atlee claims that’s why Aidan’s still alive. Aidan’s all “The fuck?” but he says he’s not the enemy. Atlee says that whoever killed Heggeman will pay for it and he’s not leaving without answers, but he’d do well to remember what happened to the last bitchy little ginger vampire who crossed Aidan. Aidan doesn’t say that, though, he just tweaks.

The hospital cafeteria and a sensitive theme song on the soundtrack can only mean one thing. Nora’s back and feeling awful about something she did. She’s sitting alone at a table, holding a coffee mug and staring off into the middle distance when Josh walks up. They earnestly whisper Heys at each other and Josh asks when she got back. The night before because HR will only allow sixteen consecutive sick days before threatening termination. But did she get a doctor’s note? Oh, and it’s a full moon. Nora didn’t think the B&B she was staying at would look kindly on her changing.

Happy, loving couples make it look so easy.

Josh knows the inn and thinks it’s a “Connor and Brynn thing.” He’s angry so Nora lets him know she was alone with several cases of wine trying to reconcile the fact that her wolf tore apart Will. Josh wants to talk about what happened with Will, but Nora cuts him off to thank him for whatever he did to make the police investigation go away. He doesn’t expound on that, he just tells her she should have talked to him. Now it’s Nora’s turn to get angry for no reason, saying she felt crappy enough without Josh judging her.

Josh is trying to figure out where she’s coming from, but Nora backs off and says she just wasn’t sure if Josh would want to see her. But he’s not completely over being angry with her so he tells her maybe he’s not ready yet but eventually. When she chafes at that, Josh gets legitimately angry, asking if she comprehends what she did and how much it hurt him…what? I get he’s angry but when did he turn into Sally? Nora wants to know where he’s turning because she wants to be with him, but he tells her she doesn’t have to do anything. She wants to. To do something to make things right.

Sad puppy.

Josh is rifling through his bag in the hospital locker room when Aidan comes up. Josh sincerely asks Aidan how he thinks the hospital would feel about a missing EEG machine. Aidan is the audience manqué when he shakes his head like “That’s new,” but says there are sexier ways to get fired, like stealing high grade pharmaceuticals, or say, bags of donated blood. Josh powers on, though, telling Aidan that he has a working hypothesis about how the cerebral cortex evolves during the change and Aidan takes out his Penguin Classics copy of…I’ll go with War & Peace. Josh thinks this could help Nora.

Aidan gets concerned and asks if Nora’s back. Josh says yes and that he really messed her up. Aidan tries to comfort his friend by telling Josh that it was an accident and months ago and he has to stop punishing himself, but has he met Josh. Josh agrees but says he has to believe there’s a way to make things better, and he takes off his Star of David for Aidan to take care of while he’s the wolf, and that gesture always makes me Smurfy. They had Aidan return star after Josh changed back in the series premiere while Josh gave it to Aidan right before the Bishop showdown and it’s their shorthand for how close they are without having to say it. And I’m a big old girl, anyway.

The symbol of our deep friendship, so we never have to speak about it.

Aidan takes the star and while Josh continues to look for whatever in his bag, Aidan asks about the murder investigation. Josh just baldly lies to Aidan that he doesn’t know maybe the police thought it was a wild dog. Whatever, the whole case just kind of disappeared. Aidan absently whispers “Like Cecilia,” and Josh starts twitching about, “Cecilia…your cop friend?” twitchtwitchtweaktweak Aidan points out that yes, she’s his cop friend and she’s also the one Josh asked him to talk to so the cops would drop the investigation. Josh, again, gets his back up instead of worrying, and snits that Aidan didn’t do that.

With enough live blood in his system, Aidan’s piecing things together and points out that he said he wasn’t going to talk to Cecilia to keep Josh out of more vampire trouble. Josh isn’t admitting to anything, so Aidan continues Cecilia’s disappeared and no one’s heard from her in days. Josh tries to lie that people leave this time of year (Dead of winter and post holidays?) but he’s really bad at it so Aidan tells him that he needs to know what Josh knows because the last thing he needs is another vampire disappearing on his watch. Because of another werewolf goes unmentioned.

What exactly do you mean by disappear?

Josh admits he might have given her Heggeman’s gun to kill the twins then books it out of there. Aidan’s not letting him leave and wants to know why Cecilia would want to kill the twins. Josh says she might have thought they were the wolves who killed Heggeman. Aidan’s judgey face pisses Josh off so he asks what was he to do? Let them come after Nora? Aidan’s losing his patience with Josh and wonders if he can even comprehend the level of hypocrisy he’s operating at.

New and improved Josh continues to be a bitch and points out that Aidan’s one to talk, since he’s back to feeding live and “preying on [Josh’s] former fiancée,” Aidan’s at his wits’ end and tells Josh it has nothing to do with Nora or Julia, it’s between the two of them because if anything happens to Julia Josh will be on the hook for two vampire deaths and Aidan’s still dealing with the fallout from Heggeman. But Aidan’s anger turns to hurt when he reminds Josh of the promise Josh made earlier in the season to help pull Aidan out of whatever dark place he’d have to go to while working with Suren and not kick him in deeper because that’s not something a friend would do. Awww. Sometimes Emo Aidan makes me sad.

Not cool. You know how many feelings I have!

Back at the house with its ridiculously fast-moving clouds and it’s still being poltergeisted. Sally comes downstairs and there are forks and knives stuck in the wall, then steps into the living room and sees all the furniture piled up. She’s about 40% spooked and 60% peeved because she’s Sally and can multi-task. She yells at the presence that she knows it’s all amped with this poltergeisting thing, but their house isn’t its personal practice space. The cutlery falls from the wall and Sally walks back upstairs but the spooky music suggest the presence isn’t finished. The stairs start to crack and Sally stumbles her way up (Why not just go poof?) and a disembodied voice says “Saaaaaaa-lllleeeee. How I love to watch you die.” Sally croaks out “Danny?” and WHAT?

Creepy twins are hovering behind Aidan while he calls Cecilia’s cell from the hospital courtyard. He gets her voice mail and tells her he knows she talked to Josh and whatever she has planned to call it off. He smells something suspicious but when he turns around, it’s just some pudgy guy in a bathrobe getting out of a cab. I guess that’s not a weird sight at hospitals? Whatever, Sally’s materialized next to Aidan and spooks him. A doctor gives Aidan the side eye so he just Gesundheits himself and tells Sally he doesn’t have the time since his break’s almost over. Sally doesn’t waste any time, then, and tells Aidan that she thinks Danny sent a reaper to kill her.

They move into some hospital office while Sally explains that maybe he didn’t send the reaper, maybe the reaper’s just channeling Danny’s voice to scare her and Aidan’s using a computer left over from War Games. Seriously, it has a floppy disk drive. And it’s putty colored. Aidan isn’t following the whole reaper storyline so he asks Sally what the hell she’s talking about. She continues with her Swiss cheese mode of communication telling Aidan Janet saw the reaper, too, and tried to explain it to Tim. Aidan’s brain is rattling, again, and he asks Sally who Janet is. She explains, through emphatic hand gestures, that she’s the woman Sally used to bone Dr. Handsome. Aidan’s all “LALALA…TMI. Start at the beginning and skip over the boning.”

And that’s where babies come from.

Sally recaps how she tried to sleep and dreamed her door which brought on the smoky ghost. It only haunted Sally until that morning when it decided to start piling shit up and sidenote, they no longer have a working microwave. Aidan wants to know why she thinks it’s Danny but while Sally continues to tweak about the poltergeist Aidan gets an Oh, shit face and calls Sally over to the War Games computer. He found a short article about how Danny was killed in prison and Aidan thinks the spirit isn’t a reaper, that it’s Danny’s ghost. Dun…DUUUUNN!

Sally, never the most even-keeled roommate to begin with, starts hyperventilating and Aidan goes all Big Daddy telling her she’s been a ghost way longer than Danny and he has nothing on her, but another nurse walks in so Aidan starts singing it to look a little less crazy. Other nurse barely notices because Aidan’s hella hot and we can tolerate a lot of crazy in the super hot. Aidan keeps singing “He’s got nothing on you,” as he walks out into the corridor but Sally doesn’t want a serenade and platitudes, she needs a plan of action. Aidan tries to explain that it takes a while for ghosts to learn things but another nurse cottons to his crazy and he walks off. Sally’s calming down because she thinks she’s done some badass things and Aidan says that Danny probably doesn’t even know about the “iron” trick. Neither does Sally.

Remember Aidan, no one else can see her.

Aidan ducks into a comatose woman’s room with a chart and starts waving his hand and snapping his finger to make sure she is really most sincerely comatose and tells Sally that iron disperses paranormal presence. Sally loses her focus wondering how you pick up on these things, so Aidan tries to get her back on track telling her they have a poker for the fireplace and a cast iron skillet. Sally’s not listening because she’s focused on how unfair it is that it takes a wooden stake aimed directly at Aidan’s heart to kill him (Or decapitation, just sayin’.) but she can be destroyed with common household objects? No, most people don’t have fireplace pokers or cast iron cookware…oh, no Aidan points out that it doesn’t destroy ghosts it just disperses them, and only briefly, like a paranormal taser.

Sally’s pouting over the unfairness of it all so Aidan tells her he’s off work soon, and she doesn’t have to go home, anyway. She can go haunt a girl down the hall who’s marathoning the original 90210 and he thinks “Donna Martin Graduates” is up next. Hehehehe. Aidan’s so earnest in his desire to help that Sally’s amused by his gesture and Aidan promises he’ll come straight home from work and they can do this. Sally’s feeling better and agrees that together they can kick GhostDanny’s ass. Sally disappears with a renewed purpose but Aidan’s all “FML,” so just like every other day.

Irrefutable proof that no one can make a fist pump look good.

Nora’s walking through the courtyard when she’s accosted by the asshole twins. Brynn’s all “Bestie..we missed you. Let’s get drunk before we turn,” and I can only imagine the operatic levels of douchiness Connor can achieve when he’s drunk and about to wolf out. Clearly, so can Nora and she begs off, saying she’s turning with Josh. Connor says, friend to friend, because he thinks they’ve achieved that level…after three weeks, that Nora can do better because Josh is a tool who hangs with a vampire. Nora’s beginning to see Josh’s point about the twins and tells him Josh is still her boyfriend and she doesn’t need them complicating matters any further, since they already lied to him about talking to her while she was at the Cape. Brynn’s better at not sounding like a complete jerk so she tells Nora while, yes, they lied, so did Josh and then asks Nora if he ever told her how Will’s investigation went away…but Nora said she didn’t want to know, so he didn’t actually lie.

Not that Nora remembers the beginning of the episode. She beelines down to the storage unit where Josh is hooked up to electrodes monitoring his brain activity. He still manages to be adorable. Nora says she wants to talk and Josh says he does, too, because he’s noted some irregularities in his brain activity, but she wants to know if he really sent Aidan to kill the twins. Ummm….

Gauging which Bravolebrity is most likely to cause seizures.

Josh runs with this lie and says that’s not exactly how it happened but that Aidan was just acting as a friend. Nora gets angry and says “By trying to kill mine?” Nora tries to leave but Josh stops her to remind her that this is Aidan. He did this because he cares about her. That Nora did this…horrible…thing. Then she disappeared and he thought she was in danger. All Nora hears is “she did a horrible thing” and wants Josh to admit that’s how he feels. He says she said so herself, that she tore someone apart.

Nora is half angry, half hurt that Josh isn’t being understanding and says it wasn’t by choice, it was instinctual. Josh isn’t getting any more understanding and wonders if she ran away and spent two weeks in a drunken haze to convince herself that murder’s an acceptable instinct. He has a valid point so Nora tries to explain to him that they’re wolves and it’s what they do, like he doesn’t already know this.

Josh points out that it’s instinctual for vampires, hell all monsters, to kill so how is what Aidan did any different. Nora shows absolutely no self awareness when she says what he did was personal and Josh takes one last chance to guilt her by pointing out that killing your abusive ex ISN’T personal. Then he takes it too far and starts asking her where’s the line or does she just make up her rules as she goes along then tells his girlfriend, whom he knows was physically and emotionally abused, that she’s messed up, that the twins messed her up. That’s just mean, no matter the motivation. Nora agrees and finally leaves, telling Josh she’ll be turning in the shed…with her friends. Nooooo!

Just realized he probably shouldn’t have called his girlfriend messed up.

Aidan gets a call from Cecilia’s phone and is asks her where she’s been, but it’s Connor being a douchebag. I know, shocking. Aidan asks who it is in a way that says he knows, but Connor takes a moment to introduce himself formally because he just wants to rack up those dick points. Aidan just wants to talk to Cecilia. She’s beaten and tied to a pipe (even though she’s the vampire and the twins didn’t have their wolf strength) and she tells Aidan she “made a mistake.” UNDERSTATEMENT!

Connor continues to asshole out, telling Aidan that this is between the two of them and Cecilia needn’t get hurt. Aidan threatens Connor as Connor says it’s up to him and tries to quip about Aidan meeting him in the woods, but he’s just not up to quipping par. Aidan’s stunned that no one’s killed this dink on principle.

How has no one killed him already?

Back at the house and the fast moving clouds. Sally’s pulling the poker out of the fireplace when she starts sensing Danny’s presence. She yells out if that’s the best he has and he materializes behind her in his prison jumpsuit. She mock-pities him then tells him she’s going to beat him down with the poker, but before she can disperse him he poltergeists it out of her hand and tells her he became a ghost in prison, which I guess makes him hard, yo. Sally agrees and makes fun of the fact that he was strangled by his cellmate and wonders if it’s because he snored.

Danny decides he doesn’t need the poker to kill her and moves in to strangle her instead. She throws him off pretty easily, but before she can move in the reaper smoke appears behind Danny and ghost-kills him. Sally asks the smoke who he is and he finally materializes to reveal some Frenchy-looking, though not unattractive, dude with bad, parted down the middle, mid-90s hair. He says she knows exactly who he is, but I don’t think French synth pop is nearly as internationally popular as he thinks.

How did you know I died in 1994?

Aidan’s down at the Halloway and the showrunners finally remembered that they needed hotel guests to make it look legit. Aidan walks into the lounge where Atlee’s just kind of loitering next to the pool table while guests are playing behind him and no one notices the dorky Amish ginger. Aidan slides up to Atlee and tells him he does know more about Heggeman but that it needs to be handled delicately. He tells Atlee the twins killed Heggeman and that they turn in the woods. They can go down there and take care of the twins together. Atlee agrees, saying they’ll each take out one of the twins. And he totally looks like he can handle a wolf.

Sun’s gone down and as Josh is trudging through the woods, Aidan’s convincing Atlee they can handle this, even if purebreds are vicious. Atlee stops Aidan to confirm that he said purebreds. Aidan says yes, and thinks that Atlee’s never heard of purebred werewolves. He says of course he has, but that they’re overconfident. He wants Aidan to lure them out of hiding and bring them to Atlee so they can take care of the wolves together. Aidan agrees and walks off but the look on his face says he thinks Atlee’s a coward.

Realizing this will be a very long night.

Scene shifts to the full moon. Josh walks into the shed and sees Nora. He also sees the twins, but ignores them, telling Nora he doesn’t want to fight because he loves her and wants to be with her more than anything, even if it means turning with the assholes. Connor can’t let one opportunity to act like a dick pass by so he snidely applauds Josh who charges him, leaving Brynn to stop Josh because Connor’s a coward, too. Brynn smells something and tells Connor their guest has arrived then tells him to come in. It’s Aidan. Duh.

Josh wants to know why Aidan’s there and Connor says it’s because he tried to have the twins killed. Without hesitation, Josh joins Aidan and says he had nothing to do with it. Aidan tries to stop him, because they’re the real love story on Being Human, but Josh says he’s the one who sent Cecilia. Nora’s shocked and Connor’s a dick but the moon’s full and Josh and Nora start turning.

HE…ISS…MY…BOYVRIEND!

Josh wants Aidan to run but Brynn says he can’t leave, yet. The twins start stripping to change and Brynn says she has to explain “the rules.” Nora remembers reading that book and thinks it’s irrelevant but Brynn explains that they’re having a vampire hunt, the McLean’s version of a fox hunt, beast versus beast. Connor keeps talking like a douchebag, so Aidan vamps out and asks where Cecilia is. The straightest answer he can get out of the twins is that she’s in the woods but then they start talking in circles and when Josh tells him one last time to run, he does. Just in time to miss the really bad CGI that turns the actors into wolves. Too bad. It was pretty funny.

Sally’s still in the house with the Reaper. She wonders if he’s the presence that’s been stalking her the whole time but he finds the word “stalking” unsavory. She quips at him to find a better way to phrase it so he exposits about how when people are alive they wonder if there will be consequences for all the bad things they’ve done in their life and short answer is, yes. Sally realizes that passing up her door is deemed a “bad thing” in the afterlife and Reaper decides to torment me a little by saying it caused her to emerge as a person of interest. (But not the badger-eyed kind.)

That hair is enough to break your will to live.

Reaper continues that there’s an order to the afterlife and when a ghost creates an imbalance in that order he comes along to get rid of them. Sally realizes she’s the imbalance but says she didn’t pass it up on purpose, she was saving her friend. Reaper agrees that she’s a special case since the ones he’s usually chasing are the Dannys. She thinks there are way worse presences out there than her and Reaper agrees, calling her an interesting case. Sally wants to know what he means and he tells her she’s…special.

Proving, again, that she has the attention span of a cat, Sally wants to know if he really thinks so. Focus, Sally. Reaper realizes he’s saying more than he probably should and admits he doesn’t normally “converse.” Sally Sallys that she sensed that. He’s not used to the quipping and tells her that the chaos of the afterlife needs to be contained and Danny brought about the balance for today but he’ll be back tomorrow. Sally asks how much time she has, but Reaper’s already gone.

I can’t even hold the attention of my own reaper.

Back to the opening scene of Aidan running through the woods where he comes upon Atlee. He tells Atlee that there are four wolves and Atlee decides to hot foot it out of there. Aidan asks if he wants to return to Pennsylvania a coward and Atlee is all “FUCK yes,” but he remembers his manners and says, “Godspeed, brother,” to Aidan as he runs off. Klassy. Aidan runs off in a different direction and stops long enough to pull out his knife and remember/exposit that Josh gave it to him when they moved in together, as a housewarming gift.

Aidan mocks it, saying that a fern is a housewarming gift, but Josh insists. He won’t live with Aidan unless he can guarantee that he…it…won’t ever hurt Aidan. This is the nuclear option because the blade is silver. Aidan takes the knife and flashes back to the present where he hears Cecilia call for him. He runs off just as the point of view shifts to WereVision.

Murky, water-colored meeeeeem-reeeees!

As Aidan runs toward Cecilia’s voice the WereVision follows Aidan. He eventually finds her, hanging from a tree with the rifle strapped to her hip, but before he can move closer a wolf comes out of the shadows. Aidan recognizes her as WereNora as a second wolf comes out of the shadows. Josh. The wolves hold their position and Aidan hopes they don’t charge but Nora quickly does. Aidan cuts her side and as she lies wounded, WereJosh joins her, but doesn’t charge Aidan letting him get to Cecilia to cut her down. She’s lost a lot of blood and since she’s a new vampire isn’t sure if she’ll heal but Aidan’s Aidan so he doesn’t say anything.

The twins eventually catch up with everyone and the four wolves are converging on Aidan and Cecilia. He plans to shoot his way out and kill however many wolves he needs to, starting with the twins, but Cecilia tells him that, oops, they didn’t really stage a fair fight since the bullets are in the shed. Bitches. He picks her up to carry her out of the woods but Cecilia realizes they’re both dead that way and tells him he knows what he needs to do. It’s Rebecca all over again and this clearly never gets easier for him, but Cecilia insists. He puts her down and she tells him to run, allowing the wolves to feed on Cecilia. For all this show’s emo quippiness that was brutal.

Outrun four werewolves while carrying a grown woman? Easy peasy.

Sally meets up with Reaper at her grave, retconning the engraving to say she was born in 1986, and she tells him he was wrong, she’s not special. He asks her what she is, then, and she says miserable. She never considered that this would be her fate, watching everyone move on without her, forgetting her. But then she met Josh and Aidan and they were great and she belonged but they moved on, too. Everyone has something else to think about, someone else to be with, but Sally has nothing, and damn you, Meaghan Rath for making Reaper and me so sad. Thankfully, a disinterested raccoon wanders through the background for some levity.

Disinterested raccoon couldn’t care less about Sally.

Sally wonders what it’s like getting reaped, where you go. Reaper says you don’t go anywhere, it just ends. He looks into the sky and says it’s almost dawn and a new day. It’s not a hopeful speech, though, because he also has a new quota to fill. He tells Sally it’s been nice but pleasantries don’t balance the universe and he’ll have to take someone, so she should make her arrangements. Then he disappears leaving Sally alone, again.

Sun’s up and strummy emo guitar is playing as we swoop over the tall grass to naked, dirty and bloodied Nora and Josh sleeping. Nora wakes, looking peaceful as she looks around at the grass and Josh. She sits up which wakes Josh and he’s…not as peaceful. Nora’s mood darkens as well as she sees the cut on her arm from Aidan’s knife and Josh starts to freak about what they did. Nora bitterly tells him it wasn’t Aidan, she knows that much. Josh still wants to know what it was, but Nora doesn’t think it matters, since whatever it was is dead. (It was Cecilia, and I don’t know why that’s bothering me.)

Josh asks Nora what else she remembers and she says that he tried to save her. He says that’s all he’s ever wanted to do is protect her. Nora gets darker, saying she feels horrible the morning after she turns and Josh misunderstands, telling her it gets better, that the pain dissipates as she gets more used to the changes. Nora corrects him that she feels horrible because she’s no longer the wolf, talking just like the twins, and tells Josh she didn’t hide on the Cape because of what she did to Will, she hid because she felt no remorse.

Naked, dirty and bloody with the man I love? It doesn’t get any better than this.

Josh tries to talk to her but she gets angry with him that he “tried to kill his pack” and Josh can’t listen to her. She tells him that part of her can’t forgive him for that but part of her, in some sick way, is almost proud of him because for one moment he gave in to the wolf. Josh is repulsed by her, asking if she’s hearing herself talk about packs and urges. Nora says it’s her reality now and it’s his, too, but he’s refusing to believe this has to be their reality.

Nora tells him their relationship began because he wanted to be more human, he wanted to BE human, and that’s the difference between them. He wants to be human but she doesn’t think she does, and she’s sounding, almost word for word, like Brynn when she explained the twins’ existence to Josh. Josh can’t believe she’d just give up on them that easily so Nora says that while she may have saved him that night she first turned, she was saved, too. Josh starts to walk off and Nora wants to know where he’s going. She thinks they can do this together, but Josh tells her he’s going back to the shed to get his stuff, leave the woods and forget last night ever happened. Josh sadly walks off and I get a little misty-eyed, and I’m pretty sure it’s because of the scene and not the strummy emo guitar causing an aneurysm to rupture in my brain.

Josh beginning to realize that maybe it really is him.

Josh and Nora are back at the shed, all dressed and cleaned up when the assholes come back. Connor’s laughing and talking about how surprised he is to see them both standing, but corrects himself to say he’s just surprised to see Josh, because he knew what Nora had in her, but was didn’t think Josh was such a scrapper, and…respect.

Connor senses Aidan coming up behind, ignoring the ancient werewolf-killing rifle in his hands, and smarms about what a worthy opponent he was, Cochise, but before he can expand on that thought, Aidan shoots him straight in the heart, and they must have loaded and extra big blood squib because that is a lot of red spurting from his chest. Ew. Josh and Nora are shocked, Brynn freaks and Connor hits the ground, dead, and immediately turns into his wolf.

Dayum

Brynn’s losing her shit and Nora’s trying to control her, but Aidan’s holding the rifle steady, asking Brynn if he should shoot one more. Damn, Aidan. That’s cold. Bishop would be so proud of you at this moment. Nora holds Brynn as she stifles a cry and Aidan tells her to leave Boston, now. He walks over to Connor and casually throws the rifle to Josh who catches it, because they’re “ride or die” bros. As Brynn sobs in Nora’s arms, Aidan picks up Connor and carries him off. Josh stays for a moment as Nora sees how much chaos and devastation the wolves create but as she stays with Brynn he walks off with Aidan.

Aidan’s driving down some alley where he sees Atlee. Atlee actually has the nerve to say, “You survived, brother.” Aidan’s all “Bitch, knock that brother crap off,” and grabs Connor out of the trunk. He tells Atlee to take it back to Pennsylvania, tell whatever story he wants, make himself the hero, but his business there is done. Atlee checks to see the wolf as Aidan drives off.

And the beard just makes you look more like a jughead.

Sally’s practicing her goodbyes to Aidan and Josh. She tries bubbly and earnest and sincere, but it sounds rehearsed. She hears the front door slam and it’s Aidan, agog at all the living room furniture piled in the corner. He sees her in the kitchen and remembers he promised to come straight home from work and didn’t. He apologizes and asks if she’s okay. She just asks him back as Josh comes home and Aidan says it was a long night.

Josh isn’t making eye contact with either Sally or Aidan. He doesn’t even say hello or good morning to her, he just zombie-walks upstairs, with Aidan close behind. Sally watches them leave, practically forgetting her while she’s still there. Once they’re gone, she walks up to the landing where she died, sits in the corner like a little girl and quietly says “Bye, bye…I’m ready.” SNIFF!!!!

This would be sadder if she wasn’t a lead.

So that was an emotional rollercoaster. I’m not sorry to see Connor go, but I am sorry to see everyone else so miserable, except maybe Brynn because she had her own special brand of suck that I won’t miss when it’s gone. Aidan and Josh have always been miserable so that wasn’t as hard to watch but I really want bubbly, dumbass Sally to come back at some point. Annoying and self-absorbed though she may have been, seeing her so sad and lonely and having Aidan and Josh confirm that she will always be their third roommate just made my heart ache a little for her.

But who am I kidding? They didn’t cast a reasonably hot actor with questionable hair to play Reaper if it wasn’t going somewhere. Five more episodes left and they’ve severed all ties with the UK series so I haven’t a clue where this is all headed.

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