Being Human Recap: Freedom’s Just Another Word for Screwed

Previously on Being Human: Sally drove a woman around the bend by possessing her body to have sex with her boyfriend then became REAPER but looked like a tall, skinny Balkan guy giving some twisted insight into her psyche, Josh was torn between two lovers, and still feeling like a fool, and Aidan was tasked with being Suren’s babysitter in exchange for his freedom.

Down at the Halloway, Aidan’s voice over tells us that people love the cliché “time heals all wounds,” as Aidan briefs Henry about mother’s visit…and how did Henry’s hair grow back so fast? If their hair grows that fast, does that mean Aidan has to get his hair cut every day, because he wasn’t made with perfectly gelled hair, you know? These questions need answering, unless the answer is “Shut up, bitch, it’s a continuity thing,” in which case carry on.

If their hair grows back so fast, why doesn’t it fill in the receding hairline, too?

Regardless, Aidan tells Henry that when Mother arrives she’ll want to meet with their police and tour the house where the orphans died. Henry, ever ambitious, has arranged the “entertainment,” a feast of Boston’s “tastiest blood whores,” and I preen a little since I was calling them “blood hookers” before they had a name. Unless I missed it. Henry jokes that Mother can taste them like they’re tequila then he and Aidan get into a spat about how boring is good, it means business as usual.

They reach Suren’s office and Aidan stops Henry, saying that’s as far as he goes. I see Aidan’s still the shitty, disinterested father. Say what you want about Bishop, but he cared. Henry agrees and points out that he gave his skin to get back into the family and not just follow Aidan opening his doors. Aidan condescends and tells Henry he’s glad he’s back but it’s only been a few weeks and he doesn’t think SYOO-ren is ready to see him, again. Then he twists the knife a little more and says to give it “two or three decades” and he’ll move up. Aidan looks away but he’d do well to acknowledge Henry’s facial expression because it’s not one of loyalty, love or devotion.

Seriously, Aidan. He’s beginning to think the Menendez brothers were on to something.

Henry gets it together and smirks to let him open the door. It’s what he lives for. I think even Aidan’s dense skull registered that venom and he gets all emo. He still walks in and is all “I’m sorry. I was going over preparations for Mother,” as Henry leaves. Suren hugs him and says she should have waited to invite Mother and on first view I didn’t pick up all the weirdness between Henry and Aidan, because there is so much weirdness between them that it takes at least three viewing to register it all, but I can’t help wondering if Aidan isn’t just playing Suren at this point. Aidan was so desperate after Henry was skinned, and killed two women to save him, so is it really that easy for him to get over the fact that his girlfriend is so sadistic she’d skin his son alive? Aidan’s convincingly lied to her before, about the orphans, so maybe he’s lying again?

Aidan reminds Suren that it was time for Mother to visit, what with the orphans gone and Boston back in the fold. Suren starts planning five steps ahead thinking that if Mother likes what she sees she’ll give Suren more power and a bigger city to run. Aidan gently drops the tiniest of anvils when he suggests she’s getting ahead of herself but Suren thinks Aidan needs reassurance so she drops her own tiny anvil telling Aidan not to worry, he’ll get his freedom and he can use it to travel the world with Suren. With my new theory in place, it looks like Aidan hesitates briefly at the thought of traveling with Suren but smiles while his voice over jumps in soon enough to imply this is a good thing.

Scene cuts to Josh and Julia having a couple’s date, laughing and drinking coffee on a rainy night and Aidan continues that it’s amazing what even the shortest passage of time can achieve. The cuts it can close and the imperfections it can smooth over. Julia jokes that they’re hardcore and have closed the coffeehouse down three nights in a row, then whispers to Josh that he can come over. It’s tempting but he tells her he can’t because of his “water heater” then we flash back to Poltergeist Sally. Yeah, don’t want to leave her alone for too long.

Nescafé International Coffees

Our Josh of Perpetual Guilt apologizes to Julia but she tells him to stop. The “water heater,” her salad, the rain, they’re not his fault but Josh cutes that maybe the rain is. Josh says she can always come over to his place but he’s a guy and he doesn’t get that it’s pretty fucked up to spend the night at your boyfriend’s house when he’s also your ex-fiancé and you slept with his current roommate in that same house. Josh thinks the statute of limitations of squickiness has passed, though, especially since they’re back together. Yes, because being a storyline straight out of All My Children makes it so much better.

He kind of rights his ship pointing out that after everything they’ve been through and done to heal their relationship, Aidan’s just the last tiny hurdle. Julia says it wasn’t so much what happened as the way he acted afterward. Josh takes responsibility for that, too, but Julia doesn’t think Josh asked Aidan to treat Julia like a whore. He agrees that he did not and Julia softens to tell him that while she appreciates that Aidan acted out of loyalty to his friendship with Josh she still (understandably) hates him.

As Julia kisses Josh goodbye and wishes him luck with his “water heater,” Aidan continues his voice over, telling us that in the end it depends upon the size of the wound and now we’re with a depressed Sally (always a good way to start an episode) alone, on the sofa, watching Paranormal Witness. He finishes up that if the wound is deep enough there’s no way to keep it from festering, even if you have all the time in the world and oh, look. It’s ReaperScott, suggesting that she go on Paranormal Witness and joking about how if only the people on the show knew how much ghosts liked them. ReaperScott tells Sally she can’t ignore him forever, but he doesn’t know Sally very well. She just turns the volume up so we can hear the woman on the show talk about how there was something off about the house and it always felt unsettled. Boo. Scary.

They seem less in love without all the purple.

Sometime later, Sally’s still watching Paranormal Witness but she’s with Aidan and Josh now. The volume is still too loud, and Josh tweaks that he feels like he’s “watching stories with [his] Meemaw.” Sally apologizes and explains that she was just “trying to drown out the Reaper,” like she’s trying to drown out boisterous neighbors. Josh and Aidan, like her two good daddies, are all “Hold up, he’s here?” Sally gets quiet and says not now, he comes and goes, then wants to change the subject. Josh points out that history shows that ignoring Sally’s problems usually ends up with everyone almost getting killed and them having to redecorate the house after it gets trashed, so no. They will maintain the current level of care and concern.

Sally’s two dads.

Aidan says they just want to help her get better, but Sally doesn’t think there is any getting better, what with shredding all those ghost, almost killing Josh and Aidan, and destroying Zoe’s life. Girl has a point. Josh takes a huge swig of his beer while he and Aidan share a look that is a giant, blinking neon sign of guilt and Sally wants to know what’s the what. Aidan tells her that Janet, Dr. Handsome’s girlfriend, was admitted to the psych ward a week ago. Sally goes on a wobble wanting to know why they didn’t tell her but Aidan thinks she’s been through enough and didn’t want to make her feel guilty. Sally points out that she IS guilty since Janet’s only there because Sally possessed her. Josh’s guilt meter is set to empathy because if anyone can feel another person’s guilt, it’s Josh.

Later that night, Josh comes into the kitchen where Aidan’s reading and writing in his journal (Someone somewhere else pointed out how Aidan always has some kind of reading material with him which ties into his human father being a printer and now I can’t not see it.) to grab a beer and tell Aidan he’s having Julia over for dinner tomorrow and wants him there. Aidan thinks it will be weird and Josh admits it will but he wants them in the same room so they can slap that weirdness down and move on.

And now you see it, too.

Aidan’s still not convinced so Josh tells him that he needs to take “this thing” with Julia to the next stage but Aidan doesn’t know what that stage is since they already slept together. Josh is all, yeah, no. “Stu stole my penis.” Heh. They bond over just how fucked up and weird that is, but Josh wants to do more than have sex with Julia, he wants to reestablish a relationship with her.

Aidan thinks he’s rushing into things because of how hurt he was when Nora left, but Josh denies it has anything to do with Nora. This is his “do over.” His second chance to have a normal relationship with a decent, beautiful, normal woman that he loved. Aidan’s so emo he agrees, which makes Josh happy, but he’s bringing Suren, which doesn’t.

Aidan tells Josh he isn’t the only one digging up his past and that 80 years ago he and Suren had something “strong” between them (Was that before or after he was shoving her head in a wash basin and calling her spoiled?) which is more complicated now and he wants to see if she can handle the “mundane” parts of his life. Josh, reacts to being called mundane like Aidan just told him his ass looks fat in those jeans, but agrees.

The look of true love.

Sally warns that he better tell Suren about Julia beforehand. After two and a half centuries on this planet, Aidan still hasn’t learned dick about women, so he wants to know why. Sally points out that there are several golden rules to modern dating and one of them is never force a current girlfriend to spend time with an ex without preparing her first. Aidan thinks he knows better, but Josh agrees with Sally, especially since there’s the (very real) possibility that the current could eat the ex. Aidan’s all FML but he’s also too emo to say anything so, whatever.

Next morning down at the hospital. Sally and ReaperScott are in the psych ward lounge looking for Janet who’s talking to a counselor about her drawings. She says these things just come to her, like memories and shows the counselor a picture of the roommate’s house. She says she’s never lived there, but she has. Sally and the Reaper are watching as the counselor takes out a drawing of Sally’s mother, wanting to know how Janet knows her. Sally gets sentimental, but Janet has no idea who she is. She just knows she loves her. The counselor thinks she’s established enough exposition for the scene and leaves.

Hipsterism is in the DSM-IV?

ReaperScott says Sally can help her. He suggests Sally repossess (heh) Janet but Sally says she can’t. He’s glad she’s finally talking to him, again, and says if she does she can answer the counselor’s questions and Janet can get discharged in a matter of days. As Janet scrawls another picture of Sally’s memories, Sally’s considering it.

Unfortunately, she’s tweaked the plan and Josh isn’t interested in being Sally’s ghost-human translator. Sally says she just wants to let Janet knows she’s not crazy, but Josh thinks telling her she was possessed will only make her worse. Sally’s certain that Janet needs to know the truth but Josh points out that “the truth” to the rest of the normal world is that Janet had a break from reality and getting further entrenched in Sally’s truth won’t help her, or Sally, make any progress. Sally feebly says it has nothing to do with her but Josh disagrees. He thinks it’s all about Sally, and if she helps Janet she won’t feel so bad but she was addicted to possessing Janet.

Disapproving Daddy disapproves.

Later that night and Aidan’s walking up to the house with Suren. Her accent has gotten even more formal and clipped as she asks “WhaT will they Be eating.” Did she always sound like Madonna? Aidan wonders why she’s asking but she’s feeling “overHWelmed because Mother will Be there tomorrow and instead of maKinG prepaRAtions, she’s having DInner with a ghost and a dog.” Skins Henry alive AND shittalks his roommates, she’s a catch, Aidan. Scoop her up.

Aidan corrects her that Josh is not a dog or a wolf, he’s Aidan’s closest friend so maybe dial down the bitch (har har, no pun intended) a notch if they’re going to be a couple. Suren seems to agree but asks about Julia, wondering if she’s human. Aidan confirms she is and Suren asks if it’s fair to let Julia sit down to dinner with them unaware of what they are. NOW Aidan remembers Sally’s advice and says “About Julia…” but Josh answers the door before Aidan can finish that thought.

There’s enough room for the Holy Spirit AND Sally between them.

Josh nerds out because he loves cooking for dead and undead beings, asking if they’re just going to stand there letting his chicken get cold. Aidan introduces them and then rounding out the awkwardness, Sally just materializes behind them and introduces herself. Josh finally remembers his manners and makes another elaborate display of inviting Suren into their home. As she walks in, the roommates all stand in the vestibule while Josh unconvincingly pretends it wasn’t awkward at all.

While Suren pokes at the dinner in a bored and yet superior way, Aidan “eats” to keep up appearances and Sally yells out from the kitchen table for someone to say something before she starts watching really loud TV again. Suren’s not used to pretending for humans so she looks at Sally and Aidan tries to redirect Julia’s attention by asking how she’s adjusting to the hospital. Sally finds this even worse than no conversation but Julia points out that “since it’s been three months since they last spoke,” the adjustment is pretty much over.

Just another awkward dinner party with the roommates.

Josh chokes on his food and announces that “THE FUNNY THING ABOUT ROAST CHICKEN…” then changes to his indoor voice to say that people think it’s the spices but it’s really the slow cooking that seals in the juices. Aidan, always the good wingman, follows up with that’s probably why it’s so delicious and Suren condescends to pretend to eat and agrees. Then she tells Josh he keeps such a clean home and he’s a “credit to his kind.” Julia’s all Bitch and wonders what she means by that, Jewish? Now it’s Aidan’s turn to choke and say “Dude-ish.” Because Josh is a “dude” and dude’s are normally messy but Josh…isn’t. Sally’s wondering if she can shred herself and announces that this conversation isn’t better than silence.

Julia asks how Aidan and Suren know each other and Suren tells her that Aidan used to work for her family, mostly keeping an eye on her because she was always getting into trouble to get Aidan’s attention. He’s all “p’shaw” but Suren tells him he has no idea how long she’s loved him. So tearing out a woman’s throat because Henry cheated was her way to get Aidan’s attention? Vampires are weird. Doesn’t matter, Aidan’s getting emo and Sally perks up, wondering how long.

Finally something that doesn’t make me wish I could poke my own eyes out.

Instead of answering, Suren launches into how she’s a spoiled brat and her mother’s Lucille Bluth, so they fought a lot. After one fight, Mother gave Suren a black orchid. She was determined to let it die out of spite but day after day it survived and thrived until one day she saw Aidan tending to it. Sally thinks this is beautiful, Aidan’s blushing and Julia and Josh are all “What a couple of douchebags.” Suren continues that she didn’t know if he was “keeping the peace” just to keep the peace or protecting her but watching him tend to that flower…

Josh interrupts to announce that he and Julia were co-captains of the speech team. This actually breaks the tension and everyone has a good laugh, so Julia asks Suren if she has any favorite TV shows. Aidan tries to interrupt saying she doesn’t watch TV but Suren likes Antiques Roadshow. Josh, being the biggest dork ever, gets all fanboyish saying he…they…he LOVES Antiques Roadshow and thinks Rudy Franchi is a god. Suren tells him he’s “Husky [Where? Oh…ha!] but knowledgeable” and Josh has decided that flaying be damned, she should come around more often, even if she thinks he’s husky.

No one should make this face while talking about Antiques Roadshow.

Dinner’s over and the boys are clearing the table, Josh wondering if he’s high or did they pull it off? Sally says she stops wanting to claw her eyes out and Aidan agrees that he thinks they’re good, and have none of them ever watched an episode? Clearly not, because they left Julia and Suren alone, so Suren can ask Julia if Josh knows she’s been with Aidan. The roommates manage not to break any dishes but Josh starts tweaking when Julia stammers that…he…does.

Julia feels relieved because she’d been wondering all dinner if Aidan had told her but Suren says he hadn’t. D’oh. Now it’s Sally’s and Josh’s turn to stare incredulously at Aidan and Julia gets her Oh…shit face on. Suren continues down the TMI path telling Julia she’s smelled her on Aidan. (ew) She wears a very distinct perfume and it’s lovely.

Sally’s all “What about the rule, AIDAN,” but Josh is concerned that Suren’s going to eat Julia. Julia just says she had no idea about Suren. Suren assures Julia they weren’t together at the time because she’d only just returned to Boston and Josh looks like he’s releasing that full body clench he’s been holding for the last ten seconds. Julia’s relieved she wasn’t that woman, the overlapper, and thinks their conversation would be a lot different if she were, not realizing how frighteningly true that statement is. Suren and the roommates do, though, and Suren admits that yes, it would be much different, causing Josh to tweak on over with the coffee pot wondering if Julia would like a fresh cup. Julia would and Josh actually utters the following sentences:“Uh, oh…spilly. This is an old table cloth. This is fine.”

CAPTION THIS!

Later that night, Aidan’s in bed. He rolls over but sees his hand is bloody. Oh, great. Time for Aidan to be gross. He rolls back over and sees a dead Julia next to him while Suren feeds. She got hungry and knew how much Aidan wanted to taste Julia so she wants him to feed on her, too. Sometimes this show could use some purple, sparkly BUT CLEAN vampires, you know?

Aidan screams…but it was just a dream. Psych! The bed’s empty, and clean, and Suren’s standing by the window being morose. She drops another anvil that they keep talking about how much has changed in eighty years…Boston, Aidan…but she doesn’t think she’s changed enough for it. She wants to know how she fits into his life, but Aidan calls her over to tell her she was “amazing” at dinner and that she fits into his life perfectly. Then the two of them lie next to each other like the other is a dead tarpon.

Maybe if she read Whitman to him by candlelight?

Next morning at the hospital and Josh wants to talk to Julia about the night before. She says the chicken was delicious and he’s all “Okay, you’re going to be like that,” but she admits it was fine. Josh further asks what she’d say if he asked her to come over again and she says she’d think about it. It’s all very cute and Josh manages a sincere, unworried smile before he kisses Julia. Ah, the rebirth of kinda young love, I’m sure it will last for Josh…until he looks up and sees Nora. Man, he can’t win for losing.

Nora’s nice enough to Julia but Julia hot foots it out of there, saying she’s late for rounds. Josh wants to know why Nora’s even there, and she says she’s trying to fix things. Josh thinks she’s too late, that she could have come back when he was angry, when he was confused, especially when he was worried to death about her, but now… Nora says “Now there’s Julia,” and thinks that was fast.

Has she always looked like she was from the village of the damned?

Josh admits that things have been happening suddenly and wonders about Brynn. Nora doesn’t answer so Josh walks off saying he doesn’t want to know the answer. Nora yelps out an apology and tells him she was confused after everything she’d seen and done. It was a mistake, one of many, that she wants to make up for. And she wants to start with Josh. Nora’s all teary-eyed which makes Josh teary-eyed but he says she’s too late. SNIFF! Wolves mate for life, Josh, and she’s your wolf!

In a stairwell, Julia’s recapping that Nora wants Josh back. Josh stutters that he told Nora he was with Julia but Julia thinks that might have been a mistake. Josh is confused so Julia reminds him that they were engaged and you can’t act like you just met. If he wants to leave he should do it now before she’s in any deeper. Josh is shaking his head and denying any of that, but Julia just doesn’t want to be crushed again. She says she’s not telling him this to get promises, she just wants him to think about everything she’s said. And what Nora said, too. White werewolf problems.

Shit was so much easier when no one would date me because I was weird.

Nora comes out of HR to see Sally wandering the hospital corridors. Sally asks what she’s doing and Nora admits she’s unsuccessfully trying to get her job back but what Sally really wants to know is if Nora saw Josh . She says yeah…and Julia. Sally Sallys an awkward “…oh,” but Nora wants to know how Sally’s doing.

Rather than recap the last three or so episodes, they just cut to Sally telling Nora she’s wrecked so many lives, starting with Janet. But Sally thinks Janet could be the one thing she sets straight, if only she could make contact with her. Nora offers to help since she still has some friends there who owe her favors.

I’m dead. What’s your excuse for your hair?

Down at the Halloway and Mother’s addressing the Boston Vampire Executive Council giving her State of the City address. Even though many on the council, including Mother, fully expected Suren to screw Boston five ways to Sunday when she was placed in charge, in less than a year she’s shaped chaos into order. They all applaud her and Mother tells Suren that the reward for hard work is usually even more hard work and that will be the case for Suren. She’s to stay in charge of Boston until Mother deems otherwise.

Suren’s all pissed that she’s not getting a change in her pay grade, but Mother thinks she could earn a promotion in due time. Suren metaphorically stamps her foot to know why Mother is doing this, and asks if Mother’s not happy. Mother admits that she’s perfectly satisfied with Suren’s work, but a few months of satisfied don’t make up for eight centuries of utterly disappointed. You know who Suren should talk to? Henry. He can totally commiserate about a distant, withholding parent who’s always disappointed with you. Oh, wait.

Be thankful she’s not your mother.

As for Aidan, he was to be given his freedom if he helped Suren get Boston under control. Since he’s held up his end of the agreement, Mother will grant him his freedom…in its truest meaning. He can enjoy his life with his “mortals” because the vampire world is sealed off to him. All the places, the people. Suren doesn’t believe this but Mother says no vampire is to have anything to do with Aidan…Waite? Any vampire in contact with him will be put to death.

Aidan charges Mother but her goons stop him. He wants to know how she can do this to him, after everything he’s done and sacrificed for her. (Back to my theory, but he sounded resentful about making those sacrifices for Suren.) Mother mocks that every move he made was for himself and now he can leave. As the goon’s drag him out, Aidan tells Mother she can go to hell and charges, again, but this time she just grabs him by the throat and chokes him out. She says she should turn him to dust right there, but Suren’s fragile so he should leave and be happy with the mercy she’s showing him. Suren’s gets all emotional, but Aidan’s still just pissed as he gets dragged out.

Don’t mess with Mother Vampire.

Josh and Aidan are sitting on the steps discussing their respective lady problems. (Because you’re the OTP, dummies.) Josh tells Aidan that now that he’s made up his mind Julia wants him to “unmake it.” Aidan thinks Julia’s the reason they got into all this and Josh agrees but what he and Nora have is bigger, biological. Aidan snaps that maybe it’s guilt. Aidan tells Josh that he may have made Nora into a werewolf, but Nora’s responsible for what she is, now. Is Aidan projecting all his Henry guilt and weirdness onto Josh? Because, dude, you and Henry are way weirder than any other relationship on this show, ever.

Josh picks up on all this tweakiness and wonders what’s up with Aidan since he’s extra broody. Heh. Aidan says he’s free, but when Josh wants to know what that means, exactly, he says “everything.” Josh thinks this is great news and Aidan should be romping in a field wearing white linen, but Aidan says it’s not freedom it’s banishment from all vampires under penalty of death. No blood dens, no food and no clean-up crews in case he slips up. Josh tells him not to slip up then, but Aidan smurfs that worst of all, he can’t see Suren. You know who Aidan should talk to about how shitty it is to be a vampire out in the cold, cut off from everyone he knows? Henry. Henry can commiserate about how much it sucks to be banished. Oh, wait.

There’s the Josh and Aidan we know so well.

Josh gives Aidan a “buck up, little camper,” speech telling him he’s seen Aidan bottom out, because he was the guy Aidan was feeding on right before he went into violent convulsions. He thinks maybe the best way for Aidan to stay clean is if he’s cut off from everyone he “got dirty with.”

Aidan doesn’t think Suren’s just a drug buddy, that “freedom” means nothing without her because “he loves her.” And he chokes on saying it so I’m sure it’s true. But seriously, I hope this is a bait and switch because most of the time they both look bored to death with each other. Aidan showed so much more sincere affection with even old Celine (let alone young Celine, Rebecca, Bishop even, and…well…Henry) but with Suren he always looks ready to hurl. The sensitive guitar indicates I’m supposed to buy this greatest love that ever loved story and Josh wants to know what Aidan’s going to do. He’s going to get super emo and wear a lot of eyeliner, that’s what he’s going to do.

I thought Nestor Carbonell was on Ringer?

Back in the psych ward lounge, and Nora tells Janet that her drawings are beautiful. Janet recognizes Nora and Nora says she knows Dr. Handsome. Janet seems disappointed and Nora sits with her, Sally by Nora’s side, and tells Janet that they have someone else in common, as well. Janet wants to know who, so Nora tells her Sally and that the memories Janet keeps drawing are Sally’s. Janet flashes back on going to the house. Nora tells Janet she’s not sick, that Sally’s a ghost and the reason she can remember Sally’s memories is because Sally possessed her. Janet’s eye twitch indicates that Josh might have been right about this being a bad idea.

You’re not crazy. We are.  Well, I am.  You can’t see my even crazier friend because she’s a ghost.

Nighttime in Boston and Henry in his hoodie is walking down an alley. Henry is squirrelly since he’s back in with the family and could be killed for talking to Aidan but Aidan just wants to know if anyone was following him. Henry doesn’t think it matters since he’s basically nothing with Aidan banished, but Aidan says he’s paid his debt so he’s safe, for now. Man, Aidan really is a lousy “father.”

He has one question for Henry. Does Henry think he’s a fool. Henry’s all “the fuck?” but Aidan lays on the guilt saying he “trusts” Henry, that he needs to trust Henry, but every chance he’s given him, he’s lobbed back a grenade. Remind me which one got flayed a few weeks ago? I mean, I know Henry’s kind of a dick and gets carried away with his horniness and ambition but…Aidan has always kind of been an asshole to him, too. Goose and gander, Aidan. Anyway, Henry says that’s not him anymore and swears Aidan can trust him. He’s making his pre-vampire sincere eyes, so Aidan believes him.

Look, I took my douchey hoodie off and everything.

Back at the hospital, Janet’s drawn an old VW Beetle. Sally tells Nora that was her first car so she can tell Janet. Janet’s all “So…Sally’s telling you this?” and Nora earnestly nods. ReaperScott tells Sally that she can help every living soul on earth, she won’t be rid of him. Sally ignores him and wants Nora to apologize to Janet for her. Nora tells Janet that Sally’s a good person, but when Janet questions why a good person would ruin her, Nora starts apologizing for her own sins saying Sally was weak, she didn’t consider the consequences, and she would do anything to take it back. Sally looks to Janet and even ReaperScott is getting a bit glassy-eyed over all this.

Dammit. Janet. Say something.

Janet looks like she’s believing this but she stops Nora, telling her she’s a patient, too. Sally and Nora are all “the hell?” but Janet continues that she’s probably schizophrenic or a compulsive liar, that she heard Janet babbling and created her own version. Nora asks Sally for help but Janet can’t see her and she gets more agitated. Nora tells Sally she needs her to say something “ghosty” but Sally snots about not being Patrick Swayze. You know, when someone’s doing you a favor it’s best not to be the asshole in the situation. Just a tip.

Nora realizes that Sally’s not going to be much help, so she asks Janet what she can do to make Janet believe her. Janet starts reciting a poem of Sally’s. She wants Nora to finish it. Sally says she wrote it when she was nine and doesn’t think she can, so ReaperScott comes over and says Janet doesn’t want the help so they should just go home, please, which triggers Sally’s memory. Nora recites the ending as Sally tells her and it’s right. Janet’s relieved that she’s not crazy, she was just possessed by a ghost (?) and Nora promises they’ll get her out.

You’re on your own. My ideas usually end, badly, at “Hey I have an idea.”

Sally materializes in the hallway. ReaperScott comes up, telling her this means nothing. Sally, flush with a fool’s pride in one of her harebrained schemes actually working out for the good, tells him this means everything. She knows that the good in her is stronger than…him but he’s her but don’t question Sally logic…she’s stronger than him, even though he’s her because, again, don’t question Sally logic. Nora comes out and asks her who she’s talking to. ReaperScott disappears and Sally says nothing then asks if Janet will be okay.

Nora thinks she will and that Sally was a lousy poet when she was nine. Josh comes barreling up, angry with Sally. He berates her that she needed to lift this weight off her conscience and when he wouldn’t help she found someone “equally” as damaged. Nora tells him to stop, but he just turns his attention to her saying he can’t believe he was trying to convince himself she’d changed. She says she’s trying, but all he does is thank her for “the moment of clarity,” then tells her to stay away from him. So, Sally’s one for two in helping someone?

Still down that alley with Aidan and Suren shows up. They hug and she whines that she thought Henry was trying to set a trap “but she had to come” because she didn’t think she’d get a chance to say goodbye. Aidan gets all goofy-eyed and tells her that now she doesn’t have to, they can run away and see the world together. Has he MET, Suren?

Can I think about it?

800-year-old Suren vacillates and gets all mewly, whining that it’s not that easy and this isn’t the future she’s supposed to have. Where’s Eric Northman to slap both of them around when you need him? He’d like Henry. Henry just wants power and poon. Whatever, Aidan decides to do his own little number on Suren’s fragile psyche and tells her that if she thinks Mother will ever let her lead she’s fooling herself. No one knows their future (But didn’t he just tell Henry to shut up and behave and MAYBE in 20, 30 years he’ll advance beyond pissboy?) He continues that maybe Mother’s cruelty was a blessing since he wanted his freedom and Suren wanted out of Boston so now they can create a new life. Suren agrees because we needed to get out of this scene before our brains turned to mush.

Down at the hospital the next morning and Josh sees Janet being discharged. He goes home and tells Sally the good news but she’s distracted. Josh is surprised by her underwhelming response, assuming it’s because he was a dick so he apologizes for yelling at her. He thought she was making a mistake and he was on edge because of Nora but…Sally tells him Aidan’s leaving. Josh doesn’t believe her and asks where. Aidan comes down telling him he doesn’t know, yet. Josh says he didn’t realize “banishment” meant from Boston but Aidan says it was his choice.

Don’t go, Daddy.

Aidan says he’s going to enjoy his freedom and Suren will enjoy it with him, but when he turns around he sees how hurt and confused Sally and Josh are and I hope feels like a giant sucking asshole because THAT’S WHAT HE IS. I might be taking this all too personally, though. Damn sensitive piano music. Aidan gets all emo and sits on the window seat while Josh yells that he can’t go. “What about all this?” Aidan feels awful and Josh isn’t letting up, asking him what about fitting in with people? Where does being a vampire fugitive fit in with that?

Aidan quavers that he is a vampire and the reason they “got into this” was to be happy. He thinks (not too convincingly) that he can be happy with Suren. Sally comes over and tells him they need him, that they’re strongest together. He jokes that he’s not sure about that and that they can be strong without him. Josh and Sally want to know how they’ll stay in touch but Aidan says they can’t, he can’t just run he has to disappear and that stupid piano music just keeps whining in the background making it all sadder and yet annoying, too.

Josh joshes that he likes the stolen email idea and Aidan says he’ll see what he can do. He tries to leave but Josh pulls him in for a really manly hug as Sally looks on which sends Aidan back into one of those farewell montages where he remembers all the great times they had in the house.

I love you, man!

Josh promises Aidan he’ll always be there for him and Aidan turns to leave. But Sally realizes Josh is still mortal so he won’t always be there, but she will. She tells Aidan to look her up in a couple of hundred years. This is so sad. Aidan walks over to Sally, but since they can’t hug like he and Josh did, he reaches out to her face and his hand slips through. He finally walks to the door, but takes a moment to tell Josh and Sally that he loves them both. Gah! I’m such a girl sometimes. Luckily for me, so are Josh and Sally and they’re validating my smurfiness with their own.

SNIFF!

Josh, still tweaky from Aidan leaving, takes out the trash and Nora’s waiting in the alley. She says she knows he’s mad but she needed to talk to him. He says he owes her an apology because she and Sally were right to help Janet. Nora doesn’t think Josh needs to apologize because she’s a mess. She said she went off to “explore her new instincts and impulses.” Josh asks what happened and Nora just says “Brynn.” She thought Brynn was the one who kept Connor at bay but it was the other way around because Brynn was capable of the purest, swiftest, angriest violence Nora’s ever seen.

Josh asks about Nora’s “appetite.” She says she got full, and that’s why she wanted to help Sally. Josh is always on the verge of a freak out in the best of times but all these emotions in one day is making him vibrate. He says he didn’t think she’d come back after the way they left things. Nora says she knows and now he’s happy with Julia. She’s glad. She just wants what’s best for him. And this isn’t fucking with his head. At. All. But she’s not finished with him, yet. She tells Josh that she learned other things while she was gone. Like how to lift the curse, forever. Josh looks like someone just rapped his nose with a newspaper.

Ow, my nose.

Nora tells Josh all he has to do is kill the man who turned him and he’s free. Josh doesn’t believe her because it can’t be that “easy,” but Nora swears it’s true. Josh refuses to accept that the “cure” is to kill Ray, but Nora tells him he needs to stop thinking in medical terms because this isn’t a disease, it’s a good, old-fashioned, supernatural curse. Josh is all “Brynn told you this?” and Nora says yes, because purebreds know things. Nora continues that she knows the specifics and to lift the curse he needs to kill Ray while he’s still human, which means Josh would have to do it before the change. Nora thinks that if he “kills the son of a bitch who did this” he can get his life back, but Nora didn’t see how killing the old werewolf in the dogfight almost broke him last season.

Josh yells at her that he can’t, that killing Ray won’t make him “normal” it will make him a murderer, and he’ll still be the same monster he is now. Rather than plead, Nora gets the creepiest, beatific smile on her face and Josh is all Whoa. He wants to know what the hell she’s smiling about and she says because she knew that would be his answer and walks away. The. Hell? Josh is confused and asks Nora to wait. Suppose this is all true, why hasn’t Nora killed him. He says he can see how much pain she’s in. Echoing back to what Aidan said on the steps, Nora blands that she’s not in pain because of what she is, she’s in pain because of what she’s done. And she could never kill Josh because she loves him too much. But will she be ignored, Dan?

Okay, she’s way creepier than ReaperScott ever was.

Over at some divey motel which is still better than the dump where he stashed Rebecca, Suren’s sleepily nagging about how this isn’t what she expected. Aidan rushes to the window to close the privacy curtains and tells her they have to go underground which means staying in dumps and paying in cash. She gets all dreamy and Aidan wonders if she’s okay. She complains that she’s hungry and Aidan is, too.

He says they can go to a nearby hospital in the morning to get “food” but Suren doesn’t like that idea. Aidan thinks it’s because she doesn’t want bagged blood, but she yells at him that she’s hungry now and he’s flashing back to how insatiable she is with live blood. Suren regains her helpless little girl act and says she thinks she overestimated her resolve. He agrees to go get her someone to eat and she purrs at him to hurry. Once outside, though, more emo music starts playing as he looks like he’s realizing he’s made a terrible, terrible mistake.

What was Einstein’s definition of insanity again?

Down at the hospital, Josh is walking the corridors in his street clothes looking for Julia who conveniently steps out of an exam room. He walks up to her and doesn’t even hesitate to kiss her even though the corridor is packed. They continue to make out while the whiney emo singer bleats and a giant woman in scrubs (seriously, she towers over Josh) just casually walks around the couple making out in the hallway. Unprofessional, Julia!

Sally’s in the house, still watching Paranormal Witness but she notices she’s finally alone, no ReaperScott, and with a feeling of contentment she symbolically lowers the volume. Weird! But triumphant all the same!

Finally, Aidan comes back to the motel, alone mind you, and first sees two suspicious looking guys walking toward him then Henry coming down the driveway. Henry taunts Aidan about actually believing they’d just let him run and, surely, Aidan knows him better than that. Aidan doesn’t get a chance to tell Henry not to call him Shirley, because Henry and the suspicious guys all pull stakes on him…but Aidan doesn’t seem too worried.

Told you this was going to happen.

I know my theory about Henry being loyal to Aidan and this whole thing being a ploy has more holes than Swiss cheese, but I can’t believe the writers would write such a rushed and hackneyed “love” story for Aidan and Suren when they created a sadder one with Rebecca, a sweeter one with Celine, a funnier one with Bishop and a pretty good gay one with Henry.  Of course, Rebecca, Celine and Bishop are all dead, so does history repeat ant they kill the vampire Aidan has chemistry with or do they set a new precedent and dust the dull as dishwater true love one?  And I’m intrigued to see what this eclipse will do since Josh looks like Lon Chaney, Jr. in his half wolf face.

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