Being Human Recap: Sallyland

Previously on Being Human: SALLY WAS THE REAPER!!!!!

But she looks so harmless when she’s comatose.

While Sally lies on the steps, out cold and surrounded by salt, the boys watch her, Aidan still clinging to the iron poker, just in case, and Sally voices over that we’d all like to think we’re strong and capable of solving our own problems. She’s interrupted by Josh urgently yelling out her name. Aidan looks beat down and snides that it’s not helping but Josh just wants to know what’s the ghost world equivalent of cold water. Aidan’s more useless than normal which only tweaks Josh’s tweakiness, leading him to say that Aidan’s been around 500 years and he’s never dealt with a catatonic ghost. Aidan angrily responds that he’s not that old (heh) then realizes that wasn’t the point and says he’s a vampire, not a ghost whisperer. We know that because your boobs are too small. But in his 258 years he’s never seen this

Sally continues her voice over saying we want to believe we can conquer anything that gets thrown in out path and emerge a more confident, accomplished person. Josh can’t hear her, though, and just wants to know where she is. And he’s making his big, sad, puppy eyes so you know he misses his friend. But we find out as we enter Sally’s mind and she’s in the neighborhood, alive and happy with a fresh, shiny blowout, gorgeous purple clothes and still living in the house…which is also purple.

Sally is so a purple glitter pen kind of girl.

Her voice over continues that sometimes you’re right, though. Sometimes all it takes is focus, direction and your own will to make it through. As she saunters through her brightly-colored happy dreamland with her Gerbera daisies, she says that to solve a problem, though, you first have to acknowledge it exists. And sometimes your greatest obstacle doesn’t come from without. Sometimes it’s you.

Sally walks into the house but their clashing, mismatched and overly-lamped home has been transformed into a Mad Men inspired b&w Barbie dream house. As Sally sets out to replace the wilted purple flowers with the fresh purple ones her voice over tells us that in the end, most of us don’t have that strength to admit we’re flawed. Sally calls out to someone that she smells “bacon.” (She left that early in the morning looking that gorgeous? Duh, it has to be a dream.)

Voice over winds up telling us then you’re stuck and can’t do anything if you don’t know what kind of danger you’re in as Sally walks to the kitchen where…REAPER IS COOKING FOR HER??!?! Oh, wait. She’s happy to see him and hugs him while he finishes making “Eggs under red…her favorite.” The music gets all ominous as he gives her a taste of some tomato sauce he’s making so, clearly, this isn’t going to end well. But the Being Human logo is all happy and in love as it draws a wispy purple heart to the tinkling music of Sally’s dreamland.

How is he less creepy when he’s an assassin?

Back at the dingy, real house the boys keep staring at Sally and Josh wants to know how they fix this. Aidan mumbles he doesn’t know. He looks like hell and seems disinterested so Josh starts a wobble about if they’re going to brainstorm or just give up on Sally. Aidan gets defensive but Josh continues, suggesting that in a pinch you do what you have to and maybe they should snap her neck and call in the cleaners. Oops. This isn’t about Sally, is it? Nope, because Aidan suggest that maybe they can drag her out to the woods, tie her to a tree, beat her to a pulp then break her arm. Ooh, Sally’s two dads have decided to air some dirty laundry.

Josh says he can understand why Aidan’s so hostile, since he has “all this skin on [his] face,” but the plucky music suggests that this won’t go quite as dark as I first thought. As Aidan sits cradled in the curve of the overturned sofa he picks up on the fact that they’ve wandered off the point and wonders what they’re arguing about. Josh gets Joshy and admits he’s extra testy so Aidan can exposit that it’s a full moon. Josh gets defensive that it’s not the ONLY reason he’s angry and Aidan moves on.

What a sweet puppy.

Aidan’s got his own ish to deal with. He hasn’t fed in over 24 hours. Josh wonders if it’s worse when the vampire is feeding live, since he’s never known Aidan when he was feeding live, and Aidan admits it’s pretty bad withdrawal. Josh exposits, but not in an accusatory tone so nice baby step, Josh, if Aidan needs to find someone. It’s Aidan’s turn to wobble as he yells that he’s not going to do that.

But it’s all just bluster because he’s Emo Aidan. As he looks at Sally lying there he whimpers that they need help. Josh joins him and the music suggests he has an idea. Zoe. She’s the only “ghost wrangler” they know…except Josh also remembers they just watched Sally shred her boyfriend. Aidan’s all “Yeah, I was thinking about that,” before they both land on “Hey, let’s just not tell her,” because it’s not like the truth outs itself at the worst possible time on Being Human. With their plan in place, Aidan runs out to get Zoe while Josh stays behind to worry over Sally.

At the hospital, Aidan rushes into a corridor…in the middle of a blood drive. Oops. He starts going into a junkie’s dreamy fugue state as he sees nurses carrying bags of fresh, warm, unprocessed blood and the various donors squeezing red, rubber balls to make it extra spurty and the soundtrack is getting all squishy. Have I mentioned lately how gross Aidan can be, sometimes?

I love the smell of antiseptic and blood in the morning. Smells like victory.

Before Aidan can go all Suren on the donors, Zoe comes down the hallway. Aidan books it out of the blood drive and tries to put on a happy face. Zoe just wonders if he gave blood. No, he always looks like that. He brings up Sally, but Zoe shuts him down, telling him that Sally just eviscerated her ghost support group. Aidan, unaware of how far gone Sally was, is shocked and Zoe wonders what he wants to talk about. Ummm… After briefly flashing back on watching Sally shred Nick, Aidan politics it that Sally needs help and Zoe’s their only hope. She’s their Zoe Wan Kenobi. Zoe’s somewhat resistant, but Aidan begs her to listen.

As Josh patiently sits next to Sally we go back into her dreamland where Reaper is stuck wearing purple, too. They’re cleaning up after breakfast as some goofy Cibo Matto-ey music plays in the background. The house is still an old house and when the water’s too hot, Reaper suggests “Reason 110 they need to move out of the house,” then sweetly (well, as sweetly as he can manage) says he doesn’t understand why she’s so attached to the house. Sally says it always felt right, but Reaper says that part of being in love is pooling resources and getting central heating that works. They’re having an engagement party that weekend and Reaper thinks they should use it as a way to say goodbye to the house.

Sally’s all happy and cooey over Reaper as he leaves for work. She Sallys a half bagel over to the toaster oven…that’s attached to the wall, okay…but when she closes the door, Josh’s face is yelling out “SALLY.” She looks around to see if he’s behind her but when she looks back he’s gone.

It’s not quite Jesus in a biscuit, but it’s close.

This sends Sally out of her dreamland and we’re back with Josh, carrying on a conversation with the comatose ghost. He’s explaining the whole Nora/Julia sitch to her since she can’t judge him or call him a wimp. He’s going on about how Julia’s way hotter than when he left Ithaca when Aidan comes back with Zoe.

Josh tries to exchange awkward pleasantries with her but she’s just looking around at what a mess the house is. She wants to know what happened so Josh starts in on recapping the last few episodes, explaining that Sally seemed different then all of a sudden went all “Linda Blair/hellspawn” and then tried to kill them, “Like you do. When…you’re…a hellspawn.” Josh really has raised the awkward, lingering pause to an art form.

What the hell is THAT?

Aidan picks up for Josh and says that he dispersed her energy with a fire iron and when she came back she was in the spot on the stairs where she died, surrounded by the salt to contain her. Zoe’s only half listening and blurts out “IDIOT.” Aidan takes umbrage at that, but c’mon Aidan. Girl’s got a point. Oh wait. Zoe says it’s not him, well sorta him but mostly her. She should have seen this coming from the first moment Sally mentioned the Reaper. Josh starts a tweak since this is the first he’s heard about the Reaper but Aidan tries to quash it by saying Sally thought she brought forth a Reaper when she passed up her door but then he offered her a job, and Aidan realizes just how ridiculous this sounds, even for them, and says “It was a thing.”

Josh is still lost so Zoe and Aidan can exposit how the Reaper is like an alter who represents the manifestation of her worst fears of what would happen when she passed up her door. That he represented passing judgment and regaining a balance. But none of them saw Reaper. Maybe she was just horny and heard the old wives’ tale about tall, skinny, Balkan guys.

Aidan goes into warrior-mode and figures they fight back against Reaper but Josh goes into worrier-mode and asks what if Reaper wins and they can’t pull Sally out. Zoe thinks that if he wins he “wins.” He takes over her soul and when she wakes up she won’t be Sally anymore.

Warrior…worrier. What’s the difference?

Aidan and Josh start to get smurfy so Zoe tries to calm them down by telling them they can still talk to her, maybe she can hear them. Josh doesn’t think so since he’s been trying to talk to her all day then they all exchange weird looks that don’t make any sense to me.

Luckily, we’re headed back to Sally’s plum-colored world. She’s sitting on her sofa with her two freaky eye pillows on either side. She’s still Sally, though, and mocking her friends’ choices of +1’s for the engagement party. We see the evite and learn that Reaper has a name….Scott? Really? Not, say Dražen or Srđan or even the actor’s own freaky Balkan-android name, Dusan? But Scott? How disappointing.

Not even Sköt?

Sally gets an IM from AIDANBOS25. (Really? We know how old you are, Aidan.) He’s begging her to come back but Dream Sally doesn’t know Aidan so she signs off the IM with a “Wrong Sally, son.” Heh. Different Sally, but still adorable. She tries to close out the IM but Aidan keeps sending her messages asking her to come back.

I like the detail of her having what looks like an image of battleground statue as her wallpaper, since, it looks like the set design for Sally’s dreamland features shout outs and nods to her real life, like the two freaky eye pillows on either side representing Aidan and Josh or the wallpaper that could be from where Aidan fought before Bishop turned him. But that might just be me. Or maybe not. Sally’s completely shut down her laptop and starts looking at her House Beautiful magazines when she gets yet another IM, this time in DOS telling her he’s right next to her. And she is duly freaked out.

Aidan? Josh? Are you in the pillows?

Back in the real house, everything’s shaking and Zoe thinks that means Aidan’s getting through. She tells him to keep talking and he says “Sally, we’re here for you. Can you hear us,” and his words immediately show up on her computer screen. Sally’s trying to reboot Aidan away and freaking out when ReaperScott comes up behind her. She’s spooked and hugs him but ReaperScott wants to know what has her so upset. Sally tells him about the IM’ing and how he kept coming back even after she shut down the computer. Bells start clanging on the soundtrack as ReaperScott gets his own freaked out look but he tells Sally that it’s probably just a virus and he’ll fix it.

As Sally lies in ReaperScott’s lap the real house stops shaking. Rather than be relieved, Josh, Aidan, and Zoe get Oh, shit looks as ReaperScott gets a Reaper look on his face and seals them in the house. Josh tries to open the back door, but there’s a shield around it. He’s incredulous and thinks he can throw a chair through it, but no go. Aidan joins Josh in the kitchen and confirms that they’re completely sealed in which sends Josh into the first of many epic tweaks.

He’s yelling at Sally that he can’t believe she’d pull this kind of stunt and Aidan just wants Josh to stop yelling, since he’s still in withdrawal. Josh goes deeper into the tweak pointing out it’s 4:00 and the full moon is in four hours and they’re locked in with a human who is completely unaware that if they don’t get out soon will be their dinner. Aidan thinks Josh is being a bit “dramatic” but Josh points out that Aidan is not credible at the moment.

Even cute doggies are annoying when they yap.

Josh wants to know exactly when Aidan was planning on telling him that their best friend was being recruited to be a supernatural assassin. Aidan says Sally didn’t want him to know because of the Nora situation and that he wouldn’t be able to handle it. Josh tweaks, not unreasonably, that Aidan’s not really the best choice, either. They snipe back and forth about how Aidan’s been pretty fucked up since the season began and Aidan doesn’t think Josh’s hands are clean, either, but their marital spat will have to wait. Zoe’s back to let them know that all the windows are sealed, too.

She’s worried that nothing’s going on, the house is completely quiet but they can’t leave and Josh and Aidan go into CYA mode saying that it’s just Sally, silly Sally, so silly and that it will pass. Zoe thinks they’re idiots and says they’re all screwed. Josh thanks Zoe, but Aidan jumps in to ask if Zoe’s seen this before and assumes that means Sally will snap out of it. Zoe isn’t so sure and wonders what they’re plan is if she doesn’t come back. Josh thinks they’ll have to exorcise her, but Zoe says she’ll be somewhere and wonders if they should figure out how to shred her. Aidan puts the kibosh on that immediately but Zoe thinks of one more thing.

I’d feel safe knowing they were protecting me.

Back in dreamland. Sally and ReaperScott are watching TV in their casual purple clothing and Sally’s polished off a bowl of popcorn. ReaperScott gets up to make her more and it’s all very cute until the house starts talking to Sally. Bummer. While ReaperScott’s in the kitchen Sally walks over to the stairwell where the voices start differentiating and we can hear Aidan, Josh and Zoe yelling out for Sally. She walks up to the landing where she died…and it’s the only part of the house that’s the same. Still with the old, greenish and cracked tiles. She can hear their conversation and is flashing back on Aidan dispersing her. She tries to get away but falls backward, into ReaperScott’s arms. And, yup. Still creepy. I think it’s all the purple they’re making him wear.

He helps her to the bedroom and as ReaperScott strokes Sally’s hair, she tells him about how it started the day before when she saw “a guy” (Josh) reflected in the toaster. She’s worried that he thinks she’s nuts but he’s trying to be comforting, which isn’t working. Sally talks about the IM’ing but ReaperScott tells her there was nothing on the computer. Sally swears there was. She tells ReaperScott that she never used to believe in the supernatural until it started happening to her. He doesn’t believe anything’s going on…except he’s getting mighty familiar with her hip.

Watch that hand, buddy. You’re only a guest star.

Sally wants to know what if something IS happening? What if it’s a ghost? ReaperScott tries to talk her down, but Sally just wants to know what it is. He starts telling her a story about how when he was ten, his father was finally able to move their family out of their crappy apartment and into a nicer home, but to ReaperScott it was the only home he’d ever known and he was heartbroken. True to Sally’s Sallyness she interrupts to make a joke about ReaperScott calling her ten, but he keeps on, telling her that the closer they got to the move he started convincing himself that gnomes lived in the walls and needed him to stay and be their friend. Sally finds this just a little too twee and nerdy, but he’s Balkan. They believe in all sorts of crazy shit. I know. My mom was from there and she thought the UT Longhorn gesture was the evil eye.

Anyway, ReaperScott says it turns out the gnomes were just rats and sometimes a house is just a house. Sally still thinks all the messages were real and she’s being haunted. He tells her that of course it felt real because no one can trick you better than you (watch out for the falling anvil, Sally) then tells her to get some rest. She’ll feel better in the morning. She rolls over and misses his hella creepy, dead-eyed stare as he promises she’ll feel better before he gets up to turn off the lights.

Don’t. Turn. Around. Sally.

Back in the real house and Josh is asking, incredulously/in his normal tone, she wants to do what, now? Zoe says she calls it a “mind meld” and Aidan gets all nerdy wondering if it isn’t a little too…then does the Vulcan greeting. Zoe doesn’t know what he’s going on about and Josh is embarrassed for his friend so Aidan asks her how. Zoe exposits that ghosts are just conscious energy and since she’s a special kind of freak, she can occasionally tap into their energy.

ReaperScott is at the top of the stairs and can hear Zoe. Meanwhile, in their real house, while Zoe exposits how she learned about it as a teenager from a 13-year-old ghost friend who wanted to share his elaborate fantasy world with her, Aidan’s starting to get tweaky, losing his concentration on what she’s saying because he’s too busy focusing on the pulse in her neck. Oh. That’s not good. Luckily Josh notices this and pointedly announces that “THAT SOUNDS LOVELY, DOESN’T IT AIDAN?” snapping Aidan out of his blood reverie.

Just because it’s gross doesn’t mean it can’t be sexy.

Zoe continues that melding isn’t easy. That it takes a lot of practice and skill, leading Aidan to wonder if she does it often. Zoe says sort of, because it’s similar to how she connects human to ghost energies when she reincarnates them and Josh Josh’s “Because that is…a thing…that you…do,” and I do love how this show will throw in random one-liners during its tensest moments. Sure, Sally may be gone forever and replaced by her darkest, cruelest impulses but hey, let’s lighten this load with a Josh quip. Thanks. Seriously.

Aidan wants to know what they can do to help her and Zoe tells them to just be quiet. It takes a lot of concentration. Josh can’t not worry about everything and is now focusing on Zoe asking if there’s a world where Sally stays behind and she’ll get stuck. What happens then? Zoe thinks that her consciousness could get trapped leaving her body…”a vegetable. And that would suck.” The boys get all emo for her but she cuts it off saying she doesn’t know, “This stuff doesn’t come with instructions.” Awww, they like you, Zoe. It’s your first step to being friends with almost humans. At least people can see them so they won’t think you’re weird.

Maybe tone down the crazy-eyes.

Under Josh’s watchful, worried gaze Zoe focuses on Sally and WHOA! ReaperScott gets the poltergeisty white eyes…which wakes up Sally and she goes all poltergeisty. She’s howling in her exorcist voice and scaring the shit out of Aidan, Josh and Zoe but to be fair, despite being monsters, the boys really are scaredy cats.

Josh gathers himself and calls out to Sally as the poltergeist tries to break through the salt field. He says he knows Sally’s still in there but the poltergeist is all flirty in her exorcist voice telling Josh, “She can’t hear you. She won’t help you.” Aidan tries a more direct approach, calling the poltergeist “Reaper” and asking, politely, to speak to Sally. The poltergeist gets all weirdly flirty again saying she already told them Sally’s gone. It’s just the poltergeist, now, and she’s not going anywhere.

Aw, isn’t she just the most coquettish poltergeist, ever?

As the boys twitch, the poltergeist turns on Aidan saying, “Daddy bird gave all the food to his tender, helpless offspring, didn’t he? Not even a nibble for himself?” Heh. Aidan’s getting emo, because Henry will do that to him, so Josh finds his spine and tells the poltergeist she needs to let them out of the house, now. Poltergeists don’t scare easily though, so she’s now turned her sights on Josh saying “Poor little puppy…smoochsmooch…trapped in here all day. Not even a walk.” She goes in for the kill shot saying, “What? No Nora to rub your tummy and give you treats and clean up after you crap on everything?” Then she says it’s Julia’s turn to be ruined by Josh. Again. Damn. Poltergeist’s a hag.

Surprisingly, Josh still has his spine firmly in place, demanding that the poltergeist let Sally go. Poltergeist isn’t finished with Josh, yet, so she tells him that now he knows how she felt, left alone every day, and that it’s their fault Sally ended up this way, the poltergeist is just protecting her. She further exposits for Zoe and the audience that in a couple of hours they’ll rip each other to shreds and Sally will be free of them. Zoe’s all “Hold up!”

Wait. Being ripped to shreds was not on the itinerary Aidan gave me.

Aidan foolishly tries to reason with the poltergeist, saying they’re Sally’s friends but the poltergeist is all “Some friend you are, Aidan. Am I right, Josh?” She reminds them about Aidan killing the two girls after letting Henry feed and how Josh can still smell it. How he’ll never forget what Aidan did in their home. Yeesh…this is killing me. Zoe, too. She wants to know what the hell the poltergeist is going on about, unleashing the poltergeist on her. LEAVE. ZOE. ALONE!

No deal. She calls her “sweet, awkward Zoe,” and “clueless” then says the boys are so forgetful. She tells Zoe that they forgot to tell her the catch but when Aidan calls the poltergeist “Sally” she shrieks not to call her that and tells Zoe she’s going to die in the house that night. Best part is Nick won’t be waiting on the other side because Sally shredded him that morning. BITCH!

With the damage done, poltergeist leaves Sally to re-enter her dreamland where the showrunners realized that they hadn’t gone for the cheesecake demographic, yet, and have her looking at fancy purple dresses while mincing around in her pretty purple lingerie until she sees her gray sweater hanging in the closet. She walks over and takes it out, getting wistful as she smells it. When she puts it on she has memories of her real life in the house, Tony teaching her the ways of the ghost and the boys leaving her alone. ReaperScott kills the moment, though, when calls out to see if she’s ready. Sally has one last thoughtful moment but rips off the sweater to get dressed.

For the nerdboys

Poor Zoe is devastated by everything that just went on and can only focus on the fact that the boys knew Sally shredded Nick but kept it from her. Aidan’s apologizing profusely and begging Zoe to help, but Zoe doesn’t give a rat’s ass about Sally anymore and says she can rot in there. She doesn’t care if they’re locked in, figuring the poltergeist will tire itself out eventually and she can wait. Josh jumps in to tell Zoe that they can’t think in eventual terms because they don’t have the time. Zoe’s still on her own wobble and wants to know what makes Josh and Aidan’s time so much more special than hers. She’s crying now and if she’s “not in a rush to help her, then kill me.”

This tweaks out both Josh and Aidan because they know exactly how dangerous they are to Zoe the longer they’re trapped. They come clean and tell her they’re monsters while Aidan busts out the different countries on the same continent comparison from the pilot. Josh is all “Really? The ‘Africa’ analogy?” but continues that because they’re monsters they can see other monsters, including ghosts, and if he’s not far away from the house very soon Zoe will be in mortal danger.

Zoe laughs at him because ghosts she can accept but vampires and werewolves? She mocks Josh saying he’s going to turn into a wolf and eat her for dinner but when Aidan emos that Josh is telling the truth she laughs at him that he “gets to be the cool vampire because everyone wants to be a cool vampire.” Aidan excuses himself while Josh gets frantic that he’s not making this up then comes back to show Zoe his fangs. That does the trick and now the poor girl is well and truly spooked.

Believe us now?

Sadly, even when it’s all about Sally the boys still manage to completely forget about her and we’re back in dreamland at the engagement party. She’s bubbly and happy and when she sees ReaperScott they walk off to the kitchen so she can tell him that he was right. The party was the right way to say goodbye to the house. Then he gives her a piping hot appetizer so she can be super cute and they can hug over how happy they are to move on.

But back in the real house, Zoe’s refocused. She stares intently at Sally, gradually getting that Gaussian soft-focus light letting us know it’s working. Especially when her head slams onto the stair because she’s out cold. As the boys futilely eye each other, Zoe’s in Sally’s dreamland where everyone wears shades of black, gray and purple. Luckily, her jeans, t-shirt and cardigan fit the motif.

Cybill, is that you?

Josh is starting an epic tweak as he realizes that the wolf will have a field day in the house, tearing it, Zoe and probably Aidan, apart, but Aidan’s all junkie emo and cowering by the sofa. Josh can’t believe what a pussy he’s being so he tells Aidan to go sit with Zoe. As Josh tries to figure out some kind of plan, since it’s already 6:30, Aidan walks around to the stairs side of the sofa and is eyeing poor Zoe like she’s a snack.

Josh stumbles upon what he thinks might be a plan to contain the wolf: turn in the refrigerator. Really, Josh? He tells Aidan he’s going to need a power drill and some “ratchet straps” or a chain, so I’m guessing he’s planning to restrain himself in the refrigerator. Whatever, Aidan’s not listening. He’s slinking over to the stairs and having the DTs as he looks at Zoe. Meanwhile, oblivious to all this, Josh starts throwing the contents of the refrigerator all over the floor. While Josh yells out for Aidan to get in the kitchen, Aidan’s vamping out next to the comatose Zoe. Oh. No.

Why not? The rest of the house is already trashed.

Zoe’s still in Sally’s dreamland, though, so she’s unaware of what’s about to happen to her. She sees Sally with ReaperScott. They pop a bottle of champagne, conveniently spilling some on Sally’s dress so Zoe can swoop in and offer her a napkin. Sally asks if Zoe’s a friend of ReaperScott but Zoe tells her she’s Sally’s friend. She tells Sally she’s living in a dreamland and needs to wake up, now.

Sally does what Sally has always done best. Ignore what’s in front of her and decide that Zoe is Melinda, “Scott’s improv friend from college.” Zoe doesn’t hesitate to tell her Scott’s dangerous and the world Sally’s living in isn’t real. It’s a fantasy created by ReaperScott to keep Sally where he wants her. Sally wants Zoe to leave but Zoe tells Sally she needs to go back to her friends, her real friends, Aidan and Josh.

Well, aren’t you the ghost-dating pot calling me a black, fantasy-living kettle.

Sally doesn’t think she knows Aidan or Josh but Zoe insists they’re her roommates and they live together, in that house, in Boston. Sally remembers the AIDANBOS25 IM’s and whispers “Aidan from Boston.” Zoe latches onto thE flicker of recognition and tells Sally she’s a ghost and she’s living in a fantasy she created to escape the horrible things she did in the real world. Sally wants to know what she did and Zoe tells her she killed Nick.

Sally thinks that’s impossible when Zoe sees ReaperScott and Nick walk into the room. She’s tweaked and Sally asks her to please says she’s Scott’s improv friend because she’s really freaking out Sally. ReaperScott calls Sally over for Nick’s toast but Zoe gathers herself and reminds Sally that none of this is real. Sally looks like she’s considering what Zoe said but before Zoe can help her, she’s stopped. Her wrist is bleeding from two puncture wounds.

Because in the real house, Aidan’s snacking on her. Jerk. Josh pulls him off Zoe and throws him on the sofa, but Aidan’s really jonesing and just wants a little more. Josh has enough of his wolf strength to slam Aidan around the room, reminding him that Zoe’s there to help Sally. Aidan tries to threaten Josh but Josh has really gone around the bend and asks what Aidan plans to do. Kill Josh? Zoe? He thinks Aidan’s too far gone, feeding live and killing those two girls. Those two human girls, in their home. Their sacred place. This snaps Aidan back to his emo self.

When you put it like that, I really AM an asshole.

Josh hasn’t finished, though, and he wants to know where it stops. If it stops. He thinks he’s the only one who’s even trying anymore. Like he’s dangling from a cliff by his fingertips and Aidan’s just stomping on them. Aidan finally cracks over killing the girls but wants to know what he can do. He needs blood to survive. He thought he could be different, he thought he could control it but he can’t. Aidan’s sobbing and Josh is still Josh so he takes off his watch and offers his own wrist for Aidan to feed. Aidan asks what he’s doing and he says he’s “holding on, for all of them.” Awww, wolves really do mate for life.

Aidan’s not feeding and Josh wants to know why. All Aidan can say is “Vampires don’t drink werewolves.” Yeah, it’s kind of weak, so Aidan continues that he figures it’s because of the smell, and he figured the smell was a warning but regardless, it’s just something they don’t do. Ever. Josh is frustrated with all this vampire old world bullshit and tells Aidan that if “this is one of those vampire Jim Crow laws,” he needs to get over it because Josh has blood, Aidan needs it and Zoe is not an option.

It’s like eating liver.

Aidan’s losing it so Josh gently reminds him that he’s strong, now, so he can handle it. Aidan bucks up his resolve but when he goes in…he shakes it off, and they’re back in old married territory. Josh is whining that he’s going to change his mind and Aidan’s all “give me a minute.” He finally starts feeding, but he stops almost immediately because “it tastes different.” Josh gets all insecure, thinking it’s him, and says he just ate a bunch of asparagus. Seriously, these two are the best example for why gay marriage should be legal.

Realizing Josh is about to wobble, Aidan goes in for more, but stops again, this time jumping up from the sofa. Every one of Josh’s performance anxieties is pinging and he thinks “it’s bad,” but Aidan tells him no, it’s good. Too good. He’s talking a mile a minute, and vibrating, telling Josh that he’s tingling. Even Josh is all Whoa but quips that they’re glad Aidan drank him. The thing is, Aidan barely touched Josh. He’s spent, now, and Josh is all “We good? You okay?” Aidan thinks so but he’s quickly choking, vomiting up blood and writhing on the floor with blood oozing from every orifice on his face because it’s not Being Human until Aidan does something really, really disgusting.

Back in dreamland and Nick is preparing his toast by reminiscing about how long he and ReaperScott have been friends. Zoe’s still there melding to Sally that she’s dead and this isn’t real and Sally’s beginning to piece together that Nick didn’t introduce them because he drowned. When Sally remembers how Nick died, he starts drowning in their home, spewing water all over the rug.

That was embarrassing.

But Zoe’s excited because it means Sally’s remembering. She comes running over to encourage Sally to keep going but ReaperScott steps in and grabs Zoe by the throat. This sends her half back to reality where she’s choking on the stairs and Josh is hovering over Aidan begging him to breathe. Aidan lets out a primal scream and with the two worlds open to each other the people in dreamland can hear Aidan’s scream. This prompts ReaperScott to pull Sally out of that moment and take her to the top of the stairs.

Sally wants to know where everyone is and ReaperScott tells her he sent them home because she wasn’t feeling well. Zoe, still hovering in their dreamland, tells her it’s a lie and to snap out of it. ReaperScott tells Sally that Zoe’s crazy and as Zoe pleads with her to leave ReaperScott pleads that only he knows who she is and what she’s become.

Zoe begs Sally to look harder. Sally sees her ghost self lying on the stairs with a comatose Zoe next to her and Josh trying to bring Aidan back. As Zoe asks her, again, to come back because her friends need her and if she doesn’t they’ll all die, ReaperScott tells her none of this matters. Sally was miserable in that other world and he just wants her to be happy. But I don’t see a cat wearing a catcher’s mask and crown in his world, do you?

Doesn’t the real world look more fun?

Sally’s wavering and whispers about her friends so ReaperScott can tell her that they’re not there. She’s tearing up and ReaperScott tells her he’s there but Zoe reminds Sally that it’s a full moon and Aidan’s starving and they’ll all die if she doesn’t come back.

ReaperScott says it doesn’t matter but Sally yells at him that it does. She’s not supposed to be living that life because she already lived another life, and died. She remembers the good times with Aidan and Josh and then her own death but ReaperScott asks her not to leave, that she can’t be without him. As he tells her he’ll never let her go, she knows she needs to wake up and how to do it.

She dies her death, again, and wakes up on the landing. All the windows open Zoe wakes up on the stairs and Josh is all “THANK! GOD!” but Zoe sees the teeth marks on her wrist. Josh walks over to the stairs to check on them as Zoe walks off. Josh calls out to Sally. She remembers it’s close to the full moon and wonders why he’s still there. He tells her he wanted to make sure she was back. She tells him she is and to go. But before he leaves, he wipes the salt away to free her and says if he could hug her, he would. SNIFF, SNIFF, SNIFF!

And the audience would hug you back, Josh.

He apologizes about having to leave but Sally understands. One quick check to make sure Aidan’s okay, too, and Josh is out the door. Sally sees Aidan’s gross, bloody face and gently tells him he looks like hell. That means “I love you,” in Sallyspeak, by the way. She comes down the stairs to sit with him and he tells her she looks good. He apologizes for what they had to do to save her and wants to know what it was like in her dreamland.

Sally admits it seemed good at first, but she really isn’t a fan of that much purple. No, she jokes that if she had to shack up with a monster, she’d rather it be Aidan and Josh. Aidan sees Zoe come in from the kitchen with a towel on her wrist but she tells him she’s okay. He accepts that because he’s been beat down eight ways to Sunday and needs to lie down, leaving Sally and Zoe alone.

Did you think I’d leave you hanging and not cap a gross shot of Aidan?

This doesn’t thrill Sally, but she thanks Zoe for helping her. Sally says she knows Zoe didn’t really want to, but Zoe stops her to tell her that Sally took away the only person who ever meant something to her. Sally tries to be contrite but Zoe’s not having it, and tells her she’ll never forgive Sally for what she did.

Zoe leaves and Sally’s alone and miserable, again, as she surveys all the havoc she’s wrought. She remembers how happy she was with ReaperScott in the dreamland but returns to reality…to see Reaper standing at the window. ZOINKS! He’s like kudzu. She tells him she wants him gone but he tells her it’s not that simple. She thinks it should be because it’s all in her head, but he says that he’s a part of her and now…they wait. For what? For her to slip, to fall. When the only one left to catch her is him. Sally cries a perfect tear and that’s it.

If I don’t turn my head he won’t be there.

So, wow. That was probably the best episode they’ve done. Tightly written and by focusing on the A story of Sally’s possession they really expanded on a lot of things that have been bubbling just under the surface. Plus, Meaghan Rath got to look really pretty and glam in her purple wardrobe. Only three more episodes to go and I’m already getting withdrawals.

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