Best in Comments 2010 Part 2

Recaps

By Flipit | Thursday, December 16, 2010 | 4:50 pm | 105 Comments
Tagged: , ,
Posted in: Commentgasm, Featured, Recaps

Time for part two of the best in comments! Today we are going through February. I have been laughing all damn day putting these together. There’s a lot, so let’s just pretend I put the effort into writing a decent opening paragraph and get moving!

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pixielated on Celebrity Rehab: Tom’s girlfriend looks like a man. If he doesn’t think he’s hit bottom, he should just take a look at her. Ouch!

bitchchristine on The Bachelor: (on a trip to San Luis Obispo) ….there was a rodeo going on there and there were real cowboys ropin’ steer and hanging around at the bar (truly) swillin’ beers. My husband and I’s were horrified by these redneck, rodeo cowboys as we think that these people only exist on TV.

(and again on Jillian) You know Jillian went running from this Jesus freak because the only religion she had was in the bottom of a glass.

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JasonR on Real World DC: this is what happens when you have a house full of somewhat normal and considerate people . . BOOOOORINNNG!

slutty_whore on Real World DC: I need my twenty-somethings drunk and delusional.

Mr. Dangerous on Survivor: I think they should cast Russell Hantz in every Survivor from this point forward. Maybe, they could change the name of the show to Russell Hantz’s SURVIVOR?

bbjunkie on The Bachelor: never watch the show for more than 5 minutes. It is like passing a car accident on the road. You look and feel a little shame after.

itchy on American Idol: this guy has problems enunciating, so everything he sings sounds like when my wife’s toothless 94-year-old grandmother sings. In other words, it’s going to be a great season.

ProdigalCheez on Real World DC: Pocket-sized person?? WTF does that MEAN? I think Bi-Guy should employ a new rule for appropriate descriptions and comparisons directed at other people. Whatever he is thinking about saying to or about another person, he should say it to his penis first – if it flies, then I’ll buy. Otherwise, STFU and stop over-grooming your eyebrows.

thatswhatshesaid on Kell on Earth: I was kind of bored. I expected to see more people crying.

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cattyfan on Toddlers and Tiaras: the one screen cap of Arianna made me wonder if BBQ Pitmasters would be featuring whatever the little girl killed…and stabbed…and skinned…and dismembered. How old do you suppose Little Lavendar Swimsuit will be before she gets her first tiny brass pole…

Cherie on Mel Gibson’s Breakdown: I’m bipolar and can’t pick a side if forced to at gunpoint. My point is…….I have no point. I just really wanted to bang Mel Gibson in the 90’s. That is all.

J-Mo on Mel Gibson’s Breakdown: Hey Mel! Get down off the cross! We need the wood to rebuild Haiti!

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NotWithoutMyTV on Models of the Runway: It sucks Donkey Kong balls, but the sponsor’s happy, because some “Runway” viewers are too lazy to reach for the remote, and sometimes it just takes a 7th or 8th exposure to a commercial for Glade automatic air fresheners for them to run out and buy that shit.

Yanksfan24 on Secrets of Aspen: News: Brooke is 25?!?! WTF? I could have sworn she was about 30 at least. Not News: Laura is a psycho hose-beast.

njgasmifan on Toddlers and Tiaras: The Stepford Wives in Training program is just creepy.

fatgirlsrule on Toddlers and Tiaras: Do any of these women on the show own a BRA??

whoochile on RHOC: Nugget’s daddy’s nipples made me throw up in my mouth a little.

itchy on Models of the Runway: Man, it was always my dream as a kid to be so damn good-looking it would be okay to be stupid. Boy, did I fuck that one up.

whatever on Secrets of Aspen: I don’t get this show. I’ve tried to watch it, but I guess I need to be wasted or something.

shantigal on Secrets of Aspen: Every time I see Fetal Erin, I can’t help but think she would be a perfect match for Tamra’s son from RHOC. You know, Nuggets dad, rapey eyes, friend fondler. This show does suck, and that is exactly why I watch.

juddfan on Models of the Runway: Just because you can’t use hairspray doesn’t mean you have to be a ball smashing bitch.

indychick on Kell on Earth: hey now, we all saw (last season on the hills) how difficult is was for stephanie p. to answer the phones at P/R L.A. maybe this new technology voice mail stuff is way more complicated than we think. i mean really who among us could check voice mail – email and then actually do our everyday work…………oh everyone,sorry.

Cherie on Mel Gibson’s Breakdown: Did anyone see that South Park episode a few years ago where they had Mel all crazy and shit? He was driving a bus and nutty as all hell? I think those dudes are psychic. But I still would’ve banged him, in the 90’s. Early 90’s.

Nads on Mel Gibson’s Breakdown: and now, would you grudge bang him??

loopygorilla on Bad Girls Club: i hope at reunion, nat and portia get at each other like a 99 cent store sale.

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shantigal on RHOC: Is it the botox/wine combo that gives them the false confidence that they can carry on adult discussion?

misssmiles on RHOC: My boyfriends best friend looks exactly like Ryan. I will never look at him the same way again. He will always be Rapey Eyes to me.

AnneM on Toddlers and Tiaras: I bet that little deer slayer girl will get even with her Mom and Gramma before she hits her teens.

Clair on Desperate Housewives: I think Tara Reid ala Van Wilder is more of a block of wood than Denise Richards.

ikillededwardcullen on Fantasia For Real: I’m definitely going to need you to pay for my laser eye surgery after exposing me to that screen grab of Gumby in a bikini!!!

soapboxx on Fantasia for Real: BTW you owe me a new pair of glasses. The ones I had on when I came across the screen grab of Mr. Hanky in a bikini are now embedded in my sheet rock. I hope you get paid for this shit cuz this show will lower your I.Q.

Hypnotoad on Desperate Housewives: I’m thinking Angie set fire to a panda meat factory and killed the night guard on accident. Save the pandas!

LindaLC on Project Runway: as a woman with heart disease, I have to tell you that your caption about having the women eat hot dogs and run until they collapse was uncool. I’m glad PR did this challenge.

flipit on Project Runway: i am a fat bastard and my doctor is trying to get me to be all heart healthy so i am just bitter.

CMY1186 on Desperate Housewives: Also, I think the writers have temporarily dropped the “Strangler Storyline” because Orson can’t strangle people while he’s in a wheelchair. I think wheelchair-prints would be easy to track, even for the Fairview PD.

loopygorilla on Project Runway: okay i cant wait to next week when i return to being a judgemental bitch
itchy on Project Runway: Well, being the only straight guy watching this show makes it difficult for me to judge fashion. But I don’t recall seeing so many ugly dresses in one place since my bar mitzvah. And that was in the 1970s.

(and then again) I hate when they bring ‘normal’ people on tv. If I want to look at ‘normal’ people, I can head over to the supermarket. Ick.

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themiki on Miss America: I can’t imagine watching a non-drag pageant for any reason, unless it involves the exploitation of four-year-olds by their psychotic and obese mothers. Grown adults who don’t have to tuck their junk just sounds like a boring forum for a beauty contest.

fire@will on Miss America: Difficult to imagine watching this (maybe to impress an attractive woman… or to fight hungry world terrorists?)

Anonymous on Project Runway: Between Elian’s looks and his affinity for rhinestones, I’m glad to know he still has a promising future ahead as an Elvis impersonator.

ANJDEB on Millionaire Matchmaker: HER EYEBROWS ARE ALMOST AT HER HAIRLINE

dudeIrock on American Idol: LOL at ‘Suckelback,’ I am Canadian and every time I hear about those asshats getting recognition anywhere else in the world, I’m like “No, God WHY??!” I swear to you, we have so much better to offer, and I apologize on behalf of Canada. Back to the recap…

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NotWithoutMyTV on American Idol: Carrie U., if you’re reading this, I’m sorry to end it this way. Our love can never be. That entire weekend we spent in the sack was mindblowing, and I didn’t mind at all about the Water Bra, but …look. The only thing we really had in common was that I saved you from that skeevy situation with Randy Jackson in the parking garage. We can’t base a relationship on that. I want you to be happy with what’s his name. So, it’s best if you don’t sext me anymore. Love Always, NWMTV

sayhuh on Lost: So I’m guessing that Richard also got dunked at some point in the iced-tea pond there. Hey, could Richard be Ponce de León?

itchy on Models of the Runway: Ironic that a show this dead comes from a channel called Lifetime.

Snootchy Bootches on Celebrity Rehab: Before I comment on the show, I have to say that I am a nice person. I truly try to help other people especially if they are in a bad way. Having said that… I am shocked that I honestly don’t care if Carrion ends up in a dumpster somewhere. Seriously.

Snootchy Bootches on Celebrity Rehab: Making this a seperate comment so that my girl doesn’t get tainted by that skank.

itchy on Bad Girls Club: See, I don’t think the younger set who watch this show can fully appreciate it and what it means to modern society and television. It takes growing up with The Brady Bunch and endless reruns of Mayberry RFD to truly understand what The Bad Girls Club means. And it ain’t good, kiddies. It ain’t good at all. ;-D

chooch on Bad Girls Club: HEY EVERYONE… WISH CHERIE “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” TODAY. She just hit 50, I think, maybe not, but these”Bad Girls” are aging her fast!!!

Cherie on Bad Girls Club: Just to clarify CHOOCH! My old ass just turned 42. Don’t blame chooch for her error, it’s the senility kicking in. Plus huffing paint screws with whats left of her hippie ass brain. But I still love her. Poor thing.

here4beer on Celebrity Rehab: I read somewhere that these junkies get 250K for doing the show. That’s a quarter of a million bucks!! That can buy enough meth for at least a month, if you’re Tom Sizemore.

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AnneM on Bad Girls Club: I’m so terrified of Flo, I almost run out of the room everytime she threatens to kill someone. But then I realized that’s a good thing, it’s exercise and it’s my new exercise plan.

(and then on Celebrity Rehab): If you can’t even get out of bed without juice, how can you put the meth pipe down?

pixielated on Celebrity Rehab: Didn’t Tom say he had “forgiven” Heidi? I guess he forgave her for getting beaten up by him? Asshole.

juddfan on Shear Genius: And Trannylips, girl!!! I’m gonna stick you on my back side door window and drive around town terrorizing all!

Gilty Plezzur: The models all looked like Amy Winehouse’s rehab roommates.

itchy on Nads’ Interview w/ Ashley from Real World DC: The, um, screenshot for the, um, video is, um, interesting. Better hope the recappers don’t get ahold of it.

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bluzgirl on Shear Genius: Tranny Lips looks like Billy Bob Thornton

interrobang on Shear Genius: What the hell is the deal with Brigaloon? Cartoon yellow hair + anime outfits + rollerskates = SailorLoon. Maybe she was trying to make her way to ComicCon and got tragically lost.

waffleboy on Shear Genius: I’m really bummed to see cameltoe on this show, because I can just picture Jackln Smith getting a phone call from her agent and saying; “let me get this straight, Mathew Mcconaughey can’t operate a condom, and I’m out of a gig?”

sayhuh on Shear Genius: I miss Jaclyn too. So you have someone who combines the apparent personality of a mop with having sweet, lazy-sounding Portuguese as her first language and with practicing most of her English with that most brilliant-sounding, fastest talker of our thespians. And someone thought that she would make a good TV host. Alrighty then…

Lissadoll4eva: There are three people on this show that need to have their reproductive organs removed.

waffleboy on Jillian Michaels Tricks Fat People: Okay, the pills actually working was just plain silly, but please tell me that electric gizmo that shocks my belly fat works, because I just picked up a poop load of batteries.

JimbobJones on Jillian Michaels Tricks Fat People: Why did you go the expensive route, Waffleboy? I just stripped some wires from an old lamp. I’m using it now. I’ll be thinner in no time. Hey, who’s cooking bacon? Mmmmmm…. bacon. Sorry, lost my train of thought. DAMN YOU, JILLIAN MICHAELS!!!

reckless_saturn_11: I will miss Rene and how he said shake it, sound sort of like Jodi Foster learning how to talk in Nell.

itchy on Shear Genius: What’s next? A competition for bikini waxers?

margo on Bad Girls Club: I’m surprised Ambeer didn’t mistake the bidet for a drinking fountain

NotWithoutMyTV on Kell on Earth: I really wonder if the whole fashion industry is one big, gigantic joke being played on the rest of the “non-fashion” populace. I mean, Kelly Cutone, a sociopath and proudly unattractive woman, does PR for FASHION SHOWS. Does that seem like it could be real to you? I think Bryant Park is a huge prank. All the fey lispers and funky dressers and weirdos with European accents are like “we play this joke every fucking year, and it just keeps getting bigger! Even Heidi Klum comes to it, now.”

njgasmifan on Models of the Runway: I think my lungs are about as orange as the kids from Toddlers and Tiaras. Some people spray tan, some inhale cheese curls…..

chemgal: I was impressed with Ambeer’s medical skills in diagnosing cootie licking disease.

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twunty mcslore on Secrets of Aspen: I love how you give this show all the respect it deserves. ie: none. Gotta go. Got a Lobster Gobster Mobster Flobber to attend with some trannies. Those take FOREVER to get ready for.

njgasmifan on RHOC: Remind me not to attend one of these “drama free” parties in Orange County – these chicks can’t stop at a hot dog stand without some bitchslap going down.

reckless_saturn on RHOC: He gets to enjoy a beautifully toned body and she has to give a blow job and look at his dumpy body.

Pegster on Project Runway: I honestly had no idea that there were two boring, talentless, young brunette girls until they were standing next to each other as the bottom two. I guess my mind just blanded them together.

waffleboy on Project Runway: I’m calling shenanigans on the Picture Perfect bit. We all know Angie is only going to steal your design if you’re spending all your time hanging out with Courtney Cox, and waiting for kickass scripts like Marley and Me instead of using your uterus that momma gave you. Then again, eventually those designs will become unhappy, grow hobo goatees, and Angie’s legal team will sue the poop out of people who say are unhappy, but you won’t be able to enjoy it, because you’ll be dealing of the fallout of John Mayer giving an interview where he refers to himself as an old soul, but implying that you’re just old. And that is why I don’t go to Ross Dress for Less any more, well that and I’m banned. Wait, what the hell were we talking about?

PottyMouth on Trashback: it’s for lovers. And I hate lovers. All that kissing and hugging and shiny happiness? Please nuke them.

fire@will on Bad Girls Club: Broke my ankle playing roller hockey. Strangers would ask about the cast, and I was just glad my explanation wasn’t something like “tripped over a sleeping whore on the way to the outhouse”.

NotWithoutMyTV on The Bachelor: Three signs that someone is mentally ill:
1) They refer to themselves in the third person.
2) They are bound and determined to act as their own lawyer.
3) They want to do an “interpretive dance” for you.

Fairchild on Fringe: I like my coworkers too, but that doesn’t mean I want to spend my free time playing Monopoly with them.

itchy on American Idol: You might as well enjoy the weepy-my-folks-were- gangbangers-boo-hoo boy now, because I just don’t seem him getting all that far. Sure, he sings okay, in a generic Gokey way, but he lacks Gokey’s Born Again/Dead Wife strategy. Meanwhile, he’s even uglier than Gokey, if that’s possible. Watching this guy fugly my screen each week is going to be torture. Although I bet he’ll do some amazing douchebag moves during the group sings, so there’s that to look forward to.

pixilated on Marriage Ref: What would getting marriage counseling from Alec Baldwin be like? Would he call you a pig and then threaten to kill himself if you didn’t change your ways and get along?

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sammy64 on Millionaire Matchmaker: I think smagma is just a slut. The way he went in to kiss chad (I’m straight btw, but I don’t know if noticing this makes me even more gay than the gays themselves haha), he just went in so hard tongue out and started hooking up like it was 4am at some dirty club. I was visually offended and remember running into my kitchen screaming “Smike you skanky skanky gay man!”

itchy on Models of the Runway: I had a thought: since models tend to be anorexically thin, they probably don’t menstruate. So the only thing left to sync up is their digestive systems. Which leaves me wondering if they all fart at the same time. Which also makes me wonder what happens when Heidi Klum farts? I remember when my wife was preggers, damn, she could clear a room. This is why I like this show: it gives me so much more time to think about things.

SexyPanda on Millionaire Matchmaker: So THAAAAT is why I’m supposed to know who the weird fat monkey fucker is.

garypayton on America’s Best Dance Crew: I couldn’t take a single thing Omarion said seriously because he reminds me too much of Urkel’s smooth alter-ego Stefan Urquelle.

shantigal on Toddlers and Tiaras: That had to be one of Kim Zolciak’s wigs.

BEEZUS WAX on Project Runway: She actually looks like she came straight off of a 60’s space ship. (I’m sure 60’s aliens had a different style from 90’s aliens)

Mr. Dangerous on Kevin Smith getting kicked of a plane for being too fat: If the guy sitting next to me is FAT and CUTE I don’t mind if he rubs up against me but that’s just the perv in me. Everybody else — I need my space.

wintersux on Undercover Boss: OK, first of all, it takes the biggest kind of douche to says things like “you’re gonna have to play my reindeer games”… Dude is lucky none of the girls has stabbed him with a broken beer bottle

HandyManda on Undercover Boss: My SIL has the best reason for disliking Hooters food I have ever heard, “I just don’t like naked women handling my food.” LOL

soapboxx on Survivor: I will not be able to stomach a Jerri/Coach showmance, if they mate she may give birth to a cloven footed devil baby.

pappy44 on Survivor: don’t ever use amanda (my true love) and russell in the same sentance again…unless it is something like amanda just beat the shit out of russell…that would work…

tv freak on America’s Best Dance Crew: I’m a sucker for b-boys…

tv freak on America’s Best Dance Crew: Edit: I’m a sucker for break dancing crews…The 1st attempt at that sentence sounded a bit wrong…

considerthis on Real World: Next on the Real World…
Josh discovers he has a third nipple and guess what so does Odrama.
Callie confesses she was raised by ducks and stangely enough Odrama was raised by geese.
Andrew has an eating disorder and is helped by Odrama who is overcoming bulimia herself.
I DARE anybody to find a SITUATION that Odrama has not been there done that and was WAY more traumatized by it.

TechnoTard on Kell on Earth: I thought I was going to roll on the floor when the little fat guy swallowed the crystal. I’m surprised he didn’t pull out a pipe and lighter. Then he said something about “it’ll come out in the doodie” like anybody in their right mind would want it back after that

belladivision on Celebrity Rehab: I kicked heroin a few times

themiki on Shear Genius: As for the host this season: This is why models don’t talk. Thank you for being hot and Brazilian, but please STFU! Thank you.

palm715 on The Bachelor: I watch this show on Hulu. When you click on the link you can see the “tags” the folks at Hulu add. The programmers there must not think much of the show¦
Tags: the bachelor, desperate, fake love, no morals, pathetic

radicalred on Millionaire Matchmaker: okay, I’m a nail technician so I must comment on Gummi’s feet. I have only seen one pair of feet that were worse than those (that wasn’t an example of some horrible nail condition in my textbook that is) belonged to a 70-year-old man that was wearing flannel, work boots & had huge, crusty whiteish-yellow tube socks. I was new at the salon, had only worked there a month or two, so I had no idea that I had the option to turn down a client if I didn’t feel comfortable. instead, I sucked it up & put on a pair of vinyl gloves. his toenails were BRIGHT yellow, about an inch thick – and twice as long – and had huge ridges. needless to say, I didn’t eat for the rest of that shift.

I feel so, so, SO sorry for the nail tech that was working on Gummi! good god! and with a freaking staph infection!!! that makes me want to rip his hair out. I wish the monkey had. hopefully she just threw all her equipment out afterwards & bought new stuff. that’s what I did.

Faryellis1 on Millionaire Matchmaker: My boss is so dayum hot it’s distracting and he has got NO GAME. He is so humble and shy which of course makes him hotter and me more distracted. Take now for instance, instead of actually working I am posting comments about how hot he is and he is sitting right next to me babbling on about some engineering something or other. I think I’m going to tell him he’s hot (brb) ….. He smiled and said “thank you” Did I mention he has an accent; yep, this is my burben. He’s getting up, I’m going to look at his butt (brb) … yep, that’s hot too.

NotWithoutMyTV on The Bachelor: When I was on this Japanese reality show (it loosely translated as “Hot Young Dumb People and a Can of Cheez Whiz”), I was the victim of the “bitch edit”. It hurt my feelings, and I felt victimized that I was betrayed that way.

Fayellis1 on Millionaire Matchmaker: I put a note on his keyboard that said “Do you like me, circle yes or no” and he circled “yes” … Good Lord I better not see him naked on pay day. I really should try to work harder on something other than a sure fire sexual harrassment lawsuit.

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loula on Keeping Up With the Kardashians: I hope he strangles himself in his stupid, ridiculous James-Spader-in-1986 sweater he keeps tied around his shoulders like that’s something real people actually do.

Prodigal Cheez on Real Housewives of Orange County: She should stay away from leather in general, she’s sporting it all over face and body as it is.

Memememe on Project Runway: It is possible that Nina DOES eat kids: which made it gagworthy when she professed knowledge of what kids like and don’t like during the judging. Gurl, please. Who do you think you’re foolin’?

sayhuh on Lost: Hey, Locke DOES have hair somewhere… we assume. Don’t tell him what he can’t wash!

scrappyscrapper on Keeping up with the Kardashians: For the love of all things holy, I just can’t believe that Scott is real. I swear, I think he signed a contract with E!, saying that he would make Spencer Pratt look like a fine gentleman, compared to himself. Scott just takes douchy-ness to a WHOLE new level.

NotWithoutMyTV on Toddlers and Tiaras: Dressing your child in scanty, suggestive clothing, slathering on the makeup, and making her perform the bump and grind before an audience. Stay home and slap the shit out of your child in your own home. Both actions are child abuse. But one costs a whole lot less.

kittkatt357 on Celebrity Rehab: One last question: Dennis’s daughter looks EXACTLY like my five year old, does that mean that my boyfriend and I are ugly?

chemgal on RHOC: slutty_whore – (have to admit, my sense of humor is so 7th grade male that I am giggling typing in that screen name, plus I gave up swearing for lent, so know I don’t know if I have to do penance for even typing it?? anyone up on your catechism enough to let me know??)

suedisco on Tool Academy: I used to play kickball against a team called “Backdoor No Babies.” Nice to see that getting some additional use.

cattyfan on American Idol: Maybe I’m getting too old, but could someone explain to me, what does “go, Pooter” mean?

shantigal on Shear Genius: J-Mo, will you please, please, please write a mini-romance novel for us titled “Fellatio in the Underbrush”? Please?

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NotWithoutMyTV on American Idol: P.S. Ellen does not belong on this show. When fucking RANDY is more qualified (on paper)than you, how you dare show your face on American Idol is beyond me.
P.S.S Kara, what we had was just the once. Stop sexting me. Thanks.

here4beer on American Idol: The only person I remember and really like so far this season is Crystal Bowersox *(I EVEN REMEMBER HER NAME! That NEVER happens!!!) There’s no way she can ever, ever win, but I’m still rooting for her and I’m glad the AI staff made her brush her teeth a few times.

classy drunk on Bad Girls Club: I love Natalie, but then again I tend to like the “villian” b/c with out them there would be no drama. She was just clearly out of her jurisdiction. She runs L.A…not Santa Barbara. I am sure that it was a misunderstanding that the police officers of Santa Barbara weren’t notified of her arrival.

considerthis on American Idol: Bring back the fat chicks!

aholic on Amazing Race: bBitz – I can’t believe we’re so far apart in our opinions of the cowboys. I don’t love them at all. I was very ready for them to get the boot by about the third “oh my gravy”.

chemgal on RHOC: Putana is not Italian for pretty!!

cansnuts on American Idol: Haeley’s tongue is way too wide for her mouth. So distracing.

shantigal on Shear Genius: Happy B-day J-Mo. Oh girl, you’re just a pup. I know in gay years it seems like death, but I know you have your wonderful BF and you can eat whatever you want!

(and again on Drag Race): That dumb ass pile of hosiery & press on nails Tyra really does not get it.

cattyfan on American Idol: Americans don’t mind that simian look. Case in point: David Archuleta. If ever there was a Monkey Boy, he’s it.

wasabipeas on RHOC: count me in on the fight for Hubert. I am a sucker for men with blue eyes and long white hair. Its a Santa thing.

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gerritv on American Idol: I think America is giving Tim a chance to sing without his football helmet next week in the hope it will improve his tonality.

jimbobjones on Lost: Oh, and I think there should totally be a cry-off between Jack and Will Schuester from Glee. Hell, that’s what caused the tsunami in Hawaii. I’ve never seen so many tears from men since “Sweatin’ to the Oldies”.

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And we’re done with February! Come back tomorrow for March!!

Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

105 Comments

  1. 1
    SexyPanda
    Posted December 16, 2010 at 6:03 pm

    It’s….it’s….it’s like the 12 Days of Christmas, but it’s the 12 Months of TVGasm Awesomeness! Love, love, love it.

  2. 2
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted December 16, 2010 at 7:04 pm

    I had somehow missed itchy’s commentary regarding synching up the models’ degestive system. That might be in the running for comment of the year!

  3. 3
    georgiababe
    Posted December 16, 2010 at 7:49 pm

    I think this should become a tradition, seriously. Either a Christmas one or a monthly one, it’s such a great idea, I love it, the comments are excellent and SO.DAMN.FUNNY.

  4. 4
    LAC
    Posted December 16, 2010 at 8:22 pm

    Jaysus, I am loving this!!

  5. 5
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted December 16, 2010 at 8:29 pm

    I love Commentgasm! I also agree it should become a tradition. If nothing else, 2011′s comments will be even funnier as people vie for a position on the coveted list! *crosses fingers and chugs the snark juice*

  6. 6
    kittkatt
    Posted December 16, 2010 at 9:21 pm

    Love the commentgasm and agree it should be a regular post. BTW, thanks for the recognition even if it was on my old account that I can no longer access(kitkatt357) because I forgot the password during a drunken binge.

  7. 7
    juddfan
    Posted December 16, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    Ha kittcat-a new comment!! This is such a blast-hearts and flowers, It’s like meeting new people in the best way possble-and reminding me of all the awesome awful TV I’m missing . . .

  8. 8
    sanen85
    Posted December 16, 2010 at 11:20 pm

    I guess I’ve got to step up my comment game if I’m gonna make the cut next year. :(

  9. 9
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted December 16, 2010 at 11:47 pm

    @sanen: There’s still time! Here, take of sip of this snark juice..it burns a little going down and is likely to make you burp, but no worries, that’s just your inner bitch rising to the surface.

  10. 10
    Robin Robinez
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 12:32 am

    This was a great idea. The best part is that most folks weren’t trying to be funny. It just happened..

    I truly miss some of the folks that used to post here, but after reading the last two “Best Comments” threads, I am reminded that there are still some great poster’s left for me to spit coffie all over my keyboard for. :)

  11. 11
    Flipit
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 12:47 am

    you guys seriously. there are sooooo many comments. i had no idea what i was getting myself into! the patterns are weird. some of you comments consistently, and some are only some months depending on what shows are on. so if you haven’t seen yourself yet, remember that we have only gotten through a couple of months out of the entire year. i am pretty sure everyone will have something. and not because i’m trying. you guys are a pretty hilarious crew. i always knew that, of course, but having all of you right in my face like that while i put this together is making me laugh myself into a lung collapse. seriously funny stuff. love

  12. 12
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 1:00 am

    I say, Flipit, you have a great heart. Don’t worry about diplomacy and just post your fav comments of the month/year. Hopefully, no one will get upset if they don’t get an honorable mention. We are here for the love, not for the accolades. Gooooooooooooo Gasm power!

  13. 13
    itchy
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 1:05 am

    Have you guys tried out Google’s new “reading level” feature? Tvgasm scores a whopping 76 percent basic reading level. And less than <1 percent at the advanced level. Hell, even Sesame Street kicks our ass.

  14. 14
    proda
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 1:07 am

    I am upset that I didn’t get honorable mention! Not really but flipit, thanks for all the laughs in 2010, keep em comin.

  15. 15
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 1:16 am

    Sesame Street? Wow! But we’re better than People.com, right? Heck, as long as we beat Myspace, I’d say we’re doing better than most.

  16. 16
    Robin Robinez
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 1:30 am

    Sarcas, Seriously not trying to start anything, but would you kindly drop that “we” shit? I am not here for love or any other “we” thing.

    Kindly speak for yourself.

    Robin

  17. 17
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 1:36 am

    Well, most of us are here because of our love of the Gasm, and post because we enjoy the site, not to receive adulation from recappers. If that doesn’t include you, that’s fine, too.

  18. 18
    Robin Robinez
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 2:22 am

    “adulation from recappers”? HuH?

    What the..? I have been here for many years and I would not still be here if I didn’t enjoy it.

    Many times you use the term “we” when you post as if you are speaking for everyone here… All I asked is that you please speak for yourself. Again, I am not trying to start anything. I am perfectly able to speak for myself and I know that you are too. No need for “we”.

    Robin

  19. 19
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 2:30 am

    We = Me, myself, and I. I can’t help it, I’m in great company. :)

  20. 20
    itchy
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 3:02 am

    Oh, Robinez, give it a rest, will you? At least don’t be disingenuous. You ARE trying to start something, and from what I’ve seen of your other comments — which tend to be more about insulting other commenters rather than just laughing along with the rest of us — you’re ALWAYS trying to start something. And who are you to tell other people what they may or may not write? There are plenty of other sites for your nastiness. Perhaps it’s time for you move on?

  21. 21
    Robin Robinez
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 3:02 am

    Donkey Kong Balls have always been a favorite of mine. :-)

    Robin

  22. 22
    Robin Robinez
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 3:27 am

    Truthfully, I am not Itchy. It seems as though anymore no matter what I write I am faced with a post such as yours. So, I try to couch it with words like, “I am not trying to start anything”, but I guess that doesn’t work either. I have been here for a long time and the yearly comment thread made me feel a bit melencholy. I remember many of the quotes and the folks that were quoted.

    So I don’t like someone using “we”. I explained why without rancor.

    I used to be able to post here and enjoy myself. I guess I am just stubborn enough not to allow someone to run me off. It seems like that is what is happening.

    Robin

  23. 23
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 3:40 am

    What’s that joke about the bully with the persecution complex? I can’t remember the punchline but I laugh anyway.

  24. 24
    kdfinjpn
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 3:55 am

    She isn’t a bully, but I see you try to paint her as one anyway. I just want to read and enjoy – is that even possible anymore?

  25. 25
    Flipit
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 3:58 am

    it’s the holidays, people. lighten up. do it for the children.

  26. 26
    Pegster
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 4:08 am

    We would like to salute you, flipit – this is awesome! We are in awe of your talent and we love you.

    My goal is to think of a really funny comment for the Best in Comments 2010 series and then have it be one of the best in comments for December. That would be so meta. Seriously, we would love it.

  27. 27
    Stewinberri
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 4:19 am

    It was good to see some twilight comment activity until I read the posts. Instead of commenting on Flipit’s INGEEEENIOUS IDEA and revisiting some brilliant snark, the bullshit starts again. So tired of this GARBAGE! Sorry but I am going to have to agree with Itchy and Sarcas, the shit always appears to be instigated by Robin. What happened to IGNORING commenters you don’t like. This has been going on OHHHH ONLEEE 8 or so months. Good Grief! two threads have been locked behind this crap. I would say it is a theme that has been fully exhausted. Give it a rest or take it to a site that STILL welcomes and APPRECIATES the bashing of certain GASMI. Are either of these options unreasonable or impossible for you to exercise? Oh there’s another option-PM. So many choices, sigh.

  28. 28
    Stewinberri
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 4:28 am

    Sorry Flip saw your post after composing mine. Was trying to decide what would be an appropriate drink for this time of morn while catching up on my TVgasm reading. It’s settled, anything warm with a shot of booze. Working from home so I can sip and read to my hearts content.

  29. 29
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 4:46 am

    Warm drinks for morning…this leads me to the question, why doesn’t the East Coast know about Tom and Jerry mix. It’s seasonal (Thanksgiving through New Years,) and I won’t get any until I go to Wisconsin in a week and a half. Ask about it out here, and people look at ya like you have two heads. Sure, there’s a recipe for it, but I don’t want to work that hard for my alcohol.

    Sorry….just a little personal side rant.

  30. 30
    itchy
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 4:50 am

    Sorry, Flip, I was just looking for an excuse to use the word “disingenuous.” My small contribution to raising TVgasm’s literacy rating with Google.

  31. 31
    Flipit
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 4:51 am

    HAHAHAHAH!!!

  32. 32
    Flipit
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 4:52 am

    and did you notice that that duncan hines thread is the most commented? BWHAHAHA. i love this place.

  33. 33
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 4:54 am

    Flipit…I can’t believe you’re up at this hour. Do you eever sleep?

  34. 34
    Flipit
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 4:56 am

    i do but i went to a christmas party and wanted to recap the housewives before the vodka wore off!

  35. 35
    Pegster
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 4:57 am

    onomatopoeia

    I’m here to help, itchy.

  36. 36
    SexyPanda
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 5:06 am

    *Off to Google “Tom and Jerry mix”* Never heard of it! (East coast, represent!)

    This probably sounds shitty, but I think it wouldn’t be a Commentgasm thread without a little drama. I have to admit I smiled just a teensy tiny bit.

    Now, STOP IT! :)

  37. 37
    SexyPanda
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 5:08 am

    So, it’s a drink like egg nog, kinda? NOT a mash-up of all kinds of clips of a cartoon cat and mouse? It sounds delicious, even if the word “batter” is involved in a drink mix…

  38. 38
    Stewinberri
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 6:10 am

    These are words certainly to raise the literacy levels of the Gasm. Where were these people when it was time to prep for my SAT? How did I ever manage without them.

    Uh bi day Teresa Guidice RHONJ

    Unrehensible Simon Barney RHOC

    Attackive The Countess DeLesseps

    Kat Kim Zolciak RHOA

  39. 39
    itchy
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 6:11 am

    Indubitably, Pegster, indubitably.

  40. 40
    Stewinberri
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 6:25 am

    Hey Sexy Panda, I enjoy a good drama or broadway musical as much as the next hag but, one can only endure Cats sooo many times. ;)

  41. 41
    SexyPanda
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 6:37 am

    Ha!

    I saw it as a small blip in an awards show montage of otherwise drama-free 2010 moments, but still an integral part of the fabric of the site!

  42. 42
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 6:44 am

    SexyPanda…it’s a little like egg nog, but it isn’t thick or cloying like egg nog. The mix (usually made at a bakery) is light and fluffy, like an egg-based marshmallow fluff…then it gets brandy, rum, hot water, and a dusting of nutmeg. Oh, how I miss it…

  43. 43
    SexyPanda
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 6:52 am

    I’m reeeally tempted to buy some of the mix online and try it out! But I think I’ll stick to eggnog blended with french vanilla ice cream and lots and lotsa booze.

    And egg nog jello shots! (They’re strange. But a fun novelty for a holiday party!)

  44. 44
    JasonR
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 7:03 am

    Yay I made the best of February! Thanks Flipit! Did you flag comments all year long or did you go back and review thousands all at once??

    This year at work has sucked ass. The man is taking advantage of the poor ecomonmy and piling on the work instead of hiring more people. This has most importantly cut into my TV Gasm time. I resolve for 2011 to waste more time at work and spend it here!!!

  45. 45
    fawm316
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 7:03 am

    Baily’s and Eggnog, the perfect drink for reading snark :-)

  46. 46
    tvaholic
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 7:07 am

    As much as I would love to throw in my 2 cents to the drama, I’ll instead contribute to what’s truly important-booze. cattyfan-I’m a born & raised Wisconsinite & I had no idea that Tom & Jerry’s were a regional thing. Growing up, containers of premade, frozen, store-bought Tom & Jerry mix was a staple in our house during the winter months.Funny thing is, now that you mention it, I don’t think I’ve had one since I was a kid! (really, my parents used to only give us a little-really!!) One more thing to put on the shpping list.

    And flipit, thank you for sorting thru all the comments-I’ve always been a sucker for montages & I’m loving this one! I only wish there were some background music playing, maybe something cheesy like “Time of Our Lives” so we can feel like we are at a wedding or a high school graduation.

  47. 47
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 7:08 am

    @sexy panda, I mean the little bit of crazy is what makes the awards show right?!?!? That’s what people talk about the next day :)

  48. 48
    SexyPanda
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 7:10 am

    (I drank Bailey’s while writing this week’s Millionaire Matchmaker recap! YAY!!!)

    Okay, Santa needs to bring me some Tom and Jerry’s, because I am TOO curious!!!

  49. 49
    kdfinjpn
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 7:22 am

    Oh Flipit – you have to give me a better reason than children!! How about REAL. PEOPLE??!!! I know how much you LOVE. REAL. PEOPLE. LOL. And Catty, no, I don’t think he does ever sleep! I am on at odd hours because of my time zone and he is always there. You just can’t get anything over on Flippy!

    That said, thanks for Commentgasm – ah, good times.

    TV – my class song was “Dust in the Wind” – morbid, huh??!! Now I’ve dated myself AND let on that I maybe, at one time, but you can’t prove it, used to be a stoner!

  50. 50
    thiajok
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 7:23 am

    The Duncan Hines thread should have won a very special grand prize. Maybe next time.

  51. 51
    tvaholic
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 7:31 am

    kd-I don’t even remember if my class had a song, & I was a goody-two-shoes! (Until college) But I have to agree, your song is not my idea of an uplifting, let’s go face the world type of song! And I think of Bill & Ted every time I hear it.

    Oh-one thing I need to know that I forgto before-does cherie still wanna bang Mel?? :) I agree, he was freaking hot in the 80′s, early 90′s. Too bad he has to open his mouth. Why can’t these guys just sit there & look pretty??

  52. 52
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 8:01 am

    Thank you for all the work you are doing on these comment threads. I am enjoying the trip down memory lane! It is sort of like the 12 days of Christmas except it is more like the 12 days of Pissed-ness. :D

    And Sarcas, I’ll “we” with you any time. Wait. That sounded dirty.

  53. 53
    kdfinjpn
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 8:03 am

    TV – even more depressing is that some of my classmates have died and that song gets played at their funerals. What were we thinking???!! Oh yeah, we weren’t!

  54. 54
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 8:29 am

    tvaholic…I’m living vicariously. Have a Tom and Jerry for me :)

  55. 55
    reality
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 8:34 am

    “Friends are Friends Forever” by Michael W. Smith, class of ’91 representin!
    I think Robinez and Sarcastire should meet for dinner for a reality special like “Real Commenters of TVGasm” and see what s&(! will fly! Maybe they’ll come out besties!

    One good idea for the site would be “recapper of the year”. Has it been considered. J-Mo, FlipIt, Ack and Twunty.

  56. 56
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 8:34 am

    I can vouch for this brand – Mrs. Bowens:

    http://www.wisconsinmade.com/gift-ideas/Mrs-Bowens-Tom-Jerry-Mix-2662.aspx

    I had no idea it was available on line. Guess what I’m ordering!

  57. 57
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 8:36 am

    I can vouch for this brand – Mrs. Bowens. I found it available on-line…I had no idea I could order it! It’s at wisconsinmade.com

    Guess what I’m ordering…

    By the way, the key is to use more batter/mix than is recommended. YUM!

  58. 58
    Stewinberri
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 8:46 am

    Reality, I don’t think er Kanye and Taylor are quite there yet. It would be nice. Oops speaking for others! My bad.

  59. 59
    reality
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 8:52 am

    Stewinberri–Thank you for catching yourself for speaking for others. ; )

    I’m really looking forward to the RHOBH recap to see if they incorporate the “Watch What Happens Live” diagram recap of the dinner argument. LOVED IT!!!!

  60. 60
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 9:06 am

    lol @ “Kanye and Taylor!” How supercalifragilisticespialidocious! (that Google rating is gonna be through the roof in no time)

    @Snootchy Boothes.. “We” has become my new favorite pronoun. Wouldn’t we agree?

  61. 61
    kdfinjpn
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 9:08 am

    Realty – I’m with you. That dinner was a mess. I love Lisa even more, and though I didn’t think it was possible, I loathe Allison DuBois even more than Camille. What what she thinking with that stupid fake cigarette??

  62. 62
    kdfinjpn
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 9:10 am

    Oh, and Realty – Class of ’91?? Thanks for making me feel even OLDER!! Oh, well – 1978 was a very good year.

  63. 63
    itchy
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 9:20 am

    We, shmee.

    For itchy’s New Year’s resolution, itchy is going to refer to himself solely in the third person.

  64. 64
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 9:24 am

    How very Bob Dole of you, itchy…

  65. 65
    Flipit
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 9:29 am

    @reality: i just finished the recap and am getting it uploaded and then i read your comment! UGH! i didn’t watch the live show yet so no, no diagram! but that’s hilarious, cuz that whole episode was crazytown. so good! i was worried about that show so i’m glad to see it deliver this week.

    colloquialism

  66. 66
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 9:35 am

    LMAO! I say for the next week we all add a random ‘big’ word to our posts to see if it boosts our rating. Non sequiturs and all.

    defenestration

  67. 67
    kdfinjpn
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 9:38 am

    Oh great – Itchy has turned into Russell Hantz – alert Mr. D!

  68. 68
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 9:46 am

    Louche.

    It’s tidy, onomatopoeic but rates high on the SAT scale.

    This was an awesome idea and I’m holding out for TC:Season Seven Sux for my brilliance to start getting it’s due.

  69. 69
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 9:55 am

    >>>I think Robinez and Sarcastire should meet for dinner for a reality special like “Real Commenters of TVGasm” and see what s&(! will fly!<<<<

    I'll start building a Thunderdome! (Wait. Can I learn how to spot-weld from Phoenix University online? 'Cause the Thunderdome looked like one of those "some assembly is required" dealies.) And who gets to Max, and who gets to be Blaster? I think there will be trouble over that. And we probably better not send the two contestants/combatants written invitations to Thunderdome. Phraseology seems to be a source of agita.

  70. 70
    Lost Brooklyn Girl
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 10:01 am

    WOW – I’m so into reading these comments, that I’m annoyed from my co-workers IM’ing me for help.. Go the F**k away, I’m busy here!!

    Thanks Flipit!!!

  71. 71
    Sunshine
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 10:46 am

    Copacetic

    I was worried after the Duncan Hines or rhoa brouhaha that the Kanye vs. Taylor thing may have been deemed racial. I will admit even when it gets old it keeps me reading.

  72. 72
    reality
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 10:53 am

    Flipit–I’m about to dive headfirst into your RH recap.

    Low IQ–I bet it be good
    Normal–Can’t wait!
    High for Google–The reality television series that you summarize weekly will be an entertaining literature experience. I look forward to your highly esteemed observations! (this is why I’m not a recapper because I’m not as clever as all the commenters here! You’re all very quick witted and would love to see your three versions for your comments in the future (low IQ, normal and high IQ)

  73. 73
    whoochile
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 12:24 pm

    Aw Fuck! I think I blew my wad by being in the first two commentgasms, I’m doomed, I tell you. Those could have been the only remotely humorous things I said all year….I did enjoy my moment in the sun though.
    OMG! my captcha code is sucy again!! Is that like finding a 4 leaf clover?

  74. 74
    Fan-Ann
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    Machiavellian

    I love reading all these comments. I did not discover tvgasm until this last summer when I was very sick. (okay I know I’m late to the party but please let me stay.) I loved it so much that I went into the archives to read recaps of my favorite shows, but I have not seen many of these. What a treat! My sincere thanks to Flipit, all the recappers, and all of you clever ones who make me laugh daily.

  75. 75
    juddfan
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    How fun!!! I probably ‘we’ it in here too, but I have strong ‘gasmi pride!!! I love each and everyone of us, and to all a good night, blah . . . not sure how the rating thing works, does it go down every time we use ridonk or LOL . . . ie–coz I am guilty-guilty-guilty! Tho (again<) I have been known to actually look up the spelling of some f'ed up word I feel the need to include. The older I get, the worse my spelling and dyslexia! ( I had to look that up! HA!)

    Bless you Flip for all you do! I sometimes shudder that people are noting the time of my post, as I've been known to kick it to the wee hours, but I am duly impressed with your showing here!

    JasonR–I feel ya–this year I am always butt last on the comments . . . sigh . . . how dare our bosses kill our joy!!! Harrrruuummmmppphhhh!!!!

  76. 76
    JimbobJones
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 2:10 pm

    Wow. I not only get TWO comments in, but one of them warranted a picture! This is why this site kicks the hell out of TWoP (where you can’t comment without getting banned).

  77. 77
    Pegster
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 7:38 pm

    @Jimbob – also, the recaps here are actually FUNNY!

  78. 78
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted December 17, 2010 at 8:23 pm

    @Pegster: So true! I tried to like TWoP..I really did. They cover a lot of my favorite shows, even the scripted ones. But the recaps read like reluctant junior high school essays. A blase summary of events without even a smidge of humor.

    prophylactic

  79. 79
    Jeanine Schaefer
    Posted December 18, 2010 at 12:23 am

    I want to start out by saying that I NEVER, and I mean NEVER say anything personally negative to another commenter, but Robin, can you please just stay over at Twunty’s blog and never come back? You are a rude, most likely lonely, miserable woman and for some reason all you ever want to do is pick fights with people, however passive-aggresively, and usually with Sarcas. At least over at Twunty’s you all now have the freedom to talk all the shit you want without anyone knowing what you’re saying b/c the site has been blocked unless you get a personal invite. My guess is the invite goes something along the lines of “Do you hate Sarcasatire for no damn good reason? Yes? Okay, then you’re in! If not, you’re merely a troll.” You’re a bunch of middle-aged women. Grow the fuck up, and let us, yes us, I’m speaking for many besides myself, enjoy the Gasm in peace!

  80. 80
    Pixielated
    Posted December 18, 2010 at 1:32 am

    The royal we works for me. Or, for us, I mean.

    And we have our very own Kanye West here at ‘gasm, don’t we? Righteous indignation, persecution complex, and all. We shouldn’t make the same mistake as Taylor–we should have his/her back. You should always have the back of people who insult you–that’s what WE say, verily.

  81. 81
    Pixielated
    Posted December 18, 2010 at 1:34 am

    P.S. I’m not talking to/about you, Jeanine, but rather the subject of your scorn.

  82. 82
    itchy
    Posted December 18, 2010 at 2:30 am

    It’s a Schismgasm!

  83. 83
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted December 18, 2010 at 2:48 am

    Okay, itchy..I had to look up ‘schism.’ You’re too smart for me. But I love you, especially because you lived in Holland and paid for stuff in Guilders. I remember my first trip to Amsterdam in ’98. I saved my guilders after I returned home (what was left over from the coffeshops and Burger King) and it is the prettiest money I have to date! Say, when do you think a 20 Guilder bill will be worth, like, $100? I consider my piggy bank an investment bank. And I’m all about a profit..

    mitochondrial deoxyribonucleic acid

  84. 84
    Jeanine Schaefer
    Posted December 18, 2010 at 3:01 am

    Thanks, Pixie, I got ya! I know we’re all pretty tired of her “I’m not trying to start anything, but yes I am…”

    Damn! There I go again, using ‘we’, ‘us’… HA!HA!

  85. 85
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted December 18, 2010 at 5:41 am

    @Sarcas – Considering how badly going to the euro has snorked up the economies of most of the countries that use it, you might be able to spend that guilder in Amsterdam again someday. :D So if you want to sell it, better get it on ebay quick!

    Oh and….
    Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
    Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia
    Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism
    Honorificabilitudinitatibus

    Suck on that Sesame Street!

  86. 86
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted December 18, 2010 at 6:04 am

    sarcasatire…I saw the word “guilder” and all I could think was “Gilder”…as in The Princess Bride.

  87. 87
    thiajok
    Posted December 18, 2010 at 7:56 am

    Go Itchy and Cattyfan!

  88. 88
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted December 18, 2010 at 11:45 am

    I made the list under my former name: slutty_whore…. thank you, Flipit…. hopefully, I’ll make it down the road under my REAL name. LOL!

  89. 89
    Robin Robinez
    Posted December 18, 2010 at 10:22 pm

    You are all just jealous of me.

    Robin

  90. 90
    Beachgal
    Posted December 19, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    @Jeanine I loved your entire comment
    I also love the best of comments

  91. 91
    thatswhatshesaid
    Posted December 19, 2010 at 9:41 pm

    Oh my gosh!! I made the cut?! I’ve never won anything before in my life! I feel so special!! :) Thank you! LOL!

  92. 92
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted December 19, 2010 at 11:16 pm

    Speech! Speech! Speech!

  93. 93
    itchy
    Posted December 20, 2010 at 6:42 am

    Hmm… slutty_whore or Derek, slutty_whore or Derek… hard to choose…

  94. 94
    JimbobJones
    Posted December 20, 2010 at 2:29 pm

    “You are all just jealous of me.”

    Yes, I too want to be delusional and semi-retarded. In fact, your posts make my IQ drop every time I read them, so I’m well on my way to being just like you.

    @Pegster — You’re damn right. Every time I read their recaps, I’m like “I already WATCHED the show. Tell me something worth reading!” I guess it works OK if you haven’t had a chance to catch an episode — other than that, they suck.

    The good news is, at least they carry that humorlessness over to their forums. “Oh crap! He said something funny and almost made our site interesting. BAN HIM!!!”

    I’ll stick with TVGasm, where at least they realize TV should be FUN (and not something to get a stick up your butt about).

  95. 95
    Robin Robinez
    Posted December 20, 2010 at 8:41 pm

    @JimBobbJones..

    “Yes, I too want to be delusional and semi-retarded.” Well, there is great satisfaction in accomplishing a goal…

    “In fact, your posts make my IQ drop every time I read them, so I’m well on my way to being just like you.” Awww, you read my post’s..I am all aflutter.

    Keep on setting those goals for yourself..maybe you could work on that stick/butt removal process, for other people of course. Because Lord know’s you didn’t have one up your’s when you commented. Good Luck!

  96. 96
    Flipit
    Posted December 20, 2010 at 11:07 pm

    lighten up people. her comment was hilarious because it was in the middle of a huge crazy thread she wasn’t a part of and it was a mood lightener. i didn’t include it to start shit. i’m not telling you to go away robinez. your snark is good here. just aim it at the tv. ha. merry x you guys.
    reading these is a marathon, and hypnotoad is helping out so we are emailing back and forth and laughing our asses off all day long. that toddlers thread is a classic. let’s just hold hands, sing silent night, and luxuriate in our bad weaves. xo

  97. 97
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted December 20, 2010 at 11:32 pm

    Hells yeah! You guys, I’m not gonna lie — it’s takes a HELLA long time to get through each month (I’m seriously, you can tell because “HELLA” is in all caps), but it’s worth it because you guys are hiLARious.

  98. 98
    Robin Robinez
    Posted December 21, 2010 at 12:01 am

    Thank You for deleting the post that had thousands of people asking me to leave.

    Happy Holidays ..

  99. 99
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted December 21, 2010 at 12:45 am

    @Flipit and Hypnotoad: Thank you! I’m sure it’s no easy task to read all the comments the ‘Gasm generates in a single month. We Gasmii love to talk almost as much as we love to read…okay, maybe a bit more! I also enjoy the commentary here, especially when it’s funny, snarky and drama-free. I’m sure most of us can agree that that’s why we come here. The camaraderie is great, and I’ve made so many new friends! Even if I only speak to them online, doesn’t matter. We have TV in common…the strongest bond of all!

  100. 100
    itchy
    Posted December 21, 2010 at 1:07 am

    I vote for the creation of a Comment of the Day feature. And it’ll make it easier on you guys for next year’s commentgasm.

    Mostly I’m just typing this to claim comment #100.

  101. 101
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted December 21, 2010 at 1:20 am

    Seriously — we wouldn’t do this unless A.) we wanted to, and B.) we thought y’all were funny enough to warrant these Commentgasms. We’ve talked about doing something like this for awhile, and I’m just glad it came to fruition, because you all really do need to be recognized. Holy effing eff, I need to get to bed. See you at another month!

  102. 102
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted December 21, 2010 at 1:38 am

    @itchy..I was hoping someone would claim comment #100 and appreciate it’s greatness. Mazel!

  103. 103
    Clair Clair
    Posted December 21, 2010 at 10:20 am

    I’m waaay behind on my recap reading – just wanted to give myself a shout-out because I MADE THE CUT! Yay me!

  104. 104
    Cherie Cherie
    Posted December 21, 2010 at 11:55 am

    Flipit I’d be glad to help out if you will hire me a nurse to change my Mom’s diapers. Oh and a pool boy, which means I’ll also need a pool……….I’ll get back to you with the rest of the details.
    Love you guys!!!!

  105. 105
    Pixielated
    Posted December 21, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    Itchy, you forgot to say “I hate Teresa.”

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