Sorry for the lateness guys…this show is impossible to recap without wanting to punch cute puppies. Someone at the casting office needs to get thrashed for this group.
This week we open with Charlie who is super happy that Jessica is gone because she vowed to quit tattooing if she had gone home before her. Good to know that something like that would cause you to quit your profession Charlie Brown. The rest of the artists are also relieved that Jessica is gone and I’m kind of wondering how annoying was she really that all of you are breathing a sigh of relief? Did we not get shown the good shit? Come on Oxygen, you thrive on drama and apparently we missed out on some juicy stuff.
Cooling fan engaged.
The artists head out to a very sunny boardwalk where they meet Kim and a very unevenly tanned Sabina. I’m pretty sure that Sabina’s cooling fan is located where her vajayjay should be because I noticed that when she stands upright, she always spreads her legs. Just take notice the next time you watch an episode because she does it every time unless she is sitting down which is when she crosses her legs so we don’t see robot parts hanging out. The challenge is to sketch a portrait of Kim using only charcoal and paper and the winner will receive the biggest advantage to date in this competition. The winner will be the only person voting on the bottom 3 which means they will essentially choose who will be going home.
She’s no Mona Lisa…
Everyone starts their sketches and London remarks that it’s incredibly hard to sketch at the boardwalk because the sun is shining on his paper and causing a glare. He’s confident anyway because he likes doing portraits but he’s worried because Kim is constantly moving and not sitting still. Nicky broke his glasses that morning and has to squint which doesn’t help him as he can barely see her at his distance. Sabina returns with new instructions that the artists will have to finish their pieces…without Kim. Kyle is finally over it and quits once Kim leaves which Alexis thinks is kind of lame. Charlie explains that in the last few minutes is when you would add the fine details. She says that even though she has been married for a year she wouldn’t be able to sketch her hubby from memory. Sounds like a personal problem to me honey.
Sketch Kim while she moves around
Sabina and Kim are both judging the flash challenge so they go around and look at all the artist’s work. London gets praised as looking close to Kim and Nicky explains that he broke his glasses so he drew mostly from memory. Kim says that it is the skinny version of her and he says well that is what he sees when he looks at her. LOL! Everyone receives good marks, even Kyle who quit halfway. Alexis and London are the top two because Alexis’ piece was creative since she did a full body version and a close up similar to those old school pictures people used to take. London’s shading was beautiful and resembled a painting to Sabina (ok, I don’t see it…). Alexis takes the win but she doesn’t think the advantage is really that great because it could end up having some of the others hating her.
Only Eeyore could turn a win into a bad situation
Back at the wherever they go to hang out, Jon asks Alexis how she feels and she relays that it’s not really an advantage because it puts her in a tough spot. Jon says that it is a good advantage but he is scared for himself, London and Kyle because they are the strongest competitors and the smart thing would be to eliminate one of them. Alexis says she is going to have three enemies but Charlie reminds her that since one will be going home, she will only have two left. Nicky banks on his BFF status with Alexis as securing him a spot for another week because he does not believe she will send him home. Kyle says he doesn’t care what Joe has to say and to fuck his opinion because it is just his opinion. London makes a comment that Kyle seems to be over the competition. Do they know something we don’t? Like did Roman know how amateur hour this show was so he was like let me peace out and now Kyle is seeing it too?
Joe is over this shit. I don’t disagree with him.
As the artist are prepping for the ink challenge, Kim and Grimace walk in and Grimace looks bored as fuck. He really looks over this whole show because as Kim is talking he looks around and down at the floor like what the hell did I get myself into? I think he knows that everyone is getting punked by being on this show. Anyway, the mini challenge is to do a portrait tattoo on one of the skins and it’s probably going to be a tear jerker because usually portraits are done of people that have either passed away or had something bad happen to them. Unless you’re Kat Von D and you are totally in love with a douchebag so you get his 7th grade portrait tattooed on you and then break up a few months later. God that girl makes terrible life decisions…Anyway!
Joe finally chimes in that portraits are difficult and I agree with him. I think it’s one of those difficult to master skills and I have never really seen a good portrait tattoo with the exception of a few select artists. Charlie is freaking out because it’s her first portrait EVER! She says that one wrong shade and you can turn a person into a pig. I’m going to try and not harp on how much Charlie is freaking out because it’s pretty much the rest of the episode. Like okay we get it, you’ve supposedly never done a portrait before and you don’t want people to know how bad you are at tattooing. Alexis says this is the first challenge she is not freaking out about because she really likes doing portraits. I think it’s because she knows she won’t end up in the bottom since she’s picking the bottom. The skins were randomly assigned to the artists for this challenge.
Kyle’s must know something that we don’t.
Alexis will be working with Jimmy who wants a portrait of his wife who survived uterine cancer. Charlie’s client is Venus who wants to tattoo her mother’s passport portrait since she brought her and her sister to the states for a better life. Lydia is Jon’s client and she wants her Nonnie (grandma) tattooed on her because she encouraged her to live her life without regrets. Kyle’s client, James, wants his father’s graduation picture as they were estranged due to James’ lifestyle but finally came together before his father passed away. London is tattooing Fabrienne’s father who died of a heroin overdose before she could say goodbye to him. Nicky is tattooing Jorge’s sister who died from ovarian cancer. See…all tragedy!
Jessica Junior is having a meltdown.
The skins leave while the artists’ prep their sketches and Joe walks around offering advice on how to proceed. Alexis likes her picture because it has different contrasts which is good to work off of. She is making several reference pictures which she will use instead of just the picture. Nicky has probably the best picture of the group to work with but Joe warns him to be careful of his fade out because he did it with his pin up and it basically sucked. London has a harsh photo that is out of focus but Joe encourages him to just do a good job. Kyle is stoked and confident about his photo even though Joe has some reserves. Jon is worried about getting the eyes right because he feels that is what makes the portraits stand out. Charlie is still freaking out so Joe and Jon give her some tips like focusing on parts instead of the whole. Jon says he helped her because he felt bad for her skin hahaha! Seriously though, what is with Charlie’s constant crying and whining…you thought Jessica was bad well I present to you Jessica Junior.
Joe can’t be bothered with buttons
The challenge is about to begin but I can’t focus on anything except Joe’s shirt which is now unbuttoned as he walks back in with Kim. Were they just playing slap belly cause her boobies are kinda hanging out a little more than before?? Wouldn’t that be hilarious if Joe and Kim were hitting it? The skins come in and take their seats and Charlie’s skin is nervous and with good reason because you know, CHARLIE HAS NEVER DONE A PORTRAIT BEFORE. Jon develops a mini crush on his because she’s super cute and a free spirit..they would be cute together if he wasn’t like 4 foot tall. Inking begins and almost all the artists have skins who are sitting well and there are no real issues arising. Joe comes by to check on Kyle and offers a suggestion on where to place some dates that his skin wants. Kyle basically ignores him and goes with his gut feeling. He isn’t concerned with the judges but with how the client perceives the final product which I actually commend. It doesn’t matter what the opinion of the judges are because it’s the client that will wear the tattoo for life. Then again winning money sounds awesome to me.
They couldn’t afford Nikko?
The guest judge is Franco Vescovi who is a top portrait artist and has been inking for over 19 years. Any of you ever hear of him before today? Nope? Moving on to deliberations London is commended for capturing the lightness but his background is crappy. Seriously it looks like a loose nose hair coming out the side of the face. Nicky blended a little too much but did a decent job as well while Alexis’ portrait has hair that looks almost perfect. Jon’s piece is good but it looks cross-eyed to me. Here’s where it gets interesting as Kyle takes his turn for judgment. Kyle is berated for not taking Joe’s advice of where to place the dates even though his client loves his final piece. Kyle basically doesn’t give a fuck and says as much to Joe about his opinion. He tells them that he finished the piece in 2 ½ hours. Franco tells him that he could have used the extra time to add in fine details which he literally shrugs off. Joe goes off and tells Kyle that he has a bad attitude and no respect for the judges which Kyle shrugs off again. HAHAA He just don’t give a fuck!
Joe, I’m over this shit too!
Kyle leaves the stage and Joe addresses the artists saying that he doesn’t understand this new mentality that there’s a guy that specializes in every shop. In his day, they mastered all the techniques so that anyone walking in could go to any artist and get what they wanted done. He knows there is a lot of pressure to perform but that they just need to perform. Charlie breaks the tension by saying that she is next and walks down for her turn. She did a good job despite it being her first time and she says it is vomit inducing that she has to show a national audience her first portrait ever. Me thinks she was lying about being a portrait virgin…never trust a ho with a big butt.
Ink Challenge – Portraits
Alexis meets with the other artists who try and gauge who she might be voting for. Nicky tries to get her to not vote for him because he knows if he is in the bottom then he will be heading home. Alexis explained earlier that she will be voting strategically because it can propel her further in the competition. As she votes she explains that Charlie’s piece wasn’t technically good but it did hit all the right marks. London didn’t add much by way of tones, Jon is a threat and Kyle doesn’t seem to have his head in the game with his meh vibe. She knows that Nicky isn’t strong and had the weakest tattoo which puts her in a tough spot because she doesn’t want to vote for her friend. She places her votes in and seals someone’s fate.
Alexis and Jon have the top spots with Sabina being impressed with Alexis’ likeness and Joe saying Jon nailed the look without changing it too much. The winner is Jon. Alexis tries to explain that she didn’t want to come off like a dick and that it was a hard decision. She voted in Charlie (whom she says sorry to as she heads down), London and Kyle. Charlie explains to Joe the reason why she feels that they are there is because they are the most talented and that one of them would go home. She says that she believes Alexis kept Nicky to knock him out later because that is what she would do in her position. Way to throw Alexis under the bus Charlie Brown!
They should send Charlie home for that outfit.
London’s piece turned out good to the judges despite not having a great reference image so Joe says given the circumstances he is still in the running. God his background though…Charlie and Kyle’s pieces both lacked fine details which could have made them stand out more. Joe says Kyle’s piece looks unfinished and with that he is out. I think Joe just didn’t like the fact that Kyle basically said his opinion was worthless to him and wanted to stick it to him. Kyle leaves and says he is bummed because he wanted to pay down some debt but he is glad that he got to show off some clean tats while he was here.
Eh he wasn’t bad.
Gasmii we are down to the final 5 which means this trainwreck is almost over! Did you think that Kyle was sent home because of his work or because of his attitude? Did you notice Sabina’s open leg stance or am I the only one? Has Charlie Brown become the new Jessica with her whining about never doing a portrait and do you believe that was really her first? Are we rooting for anyone yet or are we all just struggling to finish now that we have invested so much time?
Best Ink Tumblr
So there are some new pieces that were uploaded to the Best Ink Tumblr so we are back to picking a favorite from it. This tat was done by LITOS from Forbidden Images Tattoo Art Studio and it was done on a purple heart awarded police officer. Uh…just look at it and that’s why I picked it.