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Thursday, March 24, 2011
12:00 pm
28 Comments
Tagged: baby proofing, baptism, Baptist, bethenny frankel, Catholic, Dr. Amador, funny, furries, godparents, halloween, hilarious, Honey Gangsta, near-baptism, paid friends, pandas, recap
We join our Hoppy family one morning while Jason is feeding Bryn and Bethenny is bouncing around complaining about what a mess the house is.
“It’s hilarious when your OCD comes out.”
One of the problems is that Gina has taken over the fridge with her exotic Trinidadian food in a very unorganized manner. Well, she’s part of the family, right? Bethenny keeps calling her a wolf and then they yell at her to come out of the bathroom because she’s been in there too long. Gina complains that she needs a long time to take care of business because Jason and Bethenny are too loud and she has no peace. Ugh, can you imagine having to live in someone else’s house like this? People who feel like they own you, no less? I need my own space, my own things, my own privacy, my own independence. I could never cross the work and living boundaries like this.
Gina would also like Jason and Bethenny to bring Bryn to her church so that they can give the baby a blessing. Jason tells us that they’ve discussed having Bryn baptized Catholic since that’s what Jason’s family is and Bethenny isn’t religious at all. But Gina is also arranging a special visit for Bryn to her church so that she can be welcomed there too. Gina explains that there will be drums, a red carpet and dancing in the spirit. She even demonstrates dancing in the spirit and Jason joins her. Okay, I get that Gina is the baby nurse and that they love her, but does their baby really need to participate in a religious ritual at her church? I can see visiting and introducing the baby to Gina’s church friends at a regular Sunday service, but the whole blessing thing seems a bit odd for people who aren’t members of that church. Like five steps too far in an effort to be open minded.
Next Bethenny has a baby proofing expert come over to the condo. Okay, seriously? Bethenny is so helpless! An expert!? I would venture to guess that baby proofing is 90% common sense and the rest you could probably pull up on the interwebs for free. Why pay this lady 500 bucks to come over and tell you your home is a death trap? Oh well, it’s not my life, so here is Kimberlee to set Bethenny straight. She tells her not to ever let Bryn see her unlocking baby-safe devices or climbing up on chairs to fix things. They crawl around on the floor to see the world from Bryn’s viewpoint and of course Bethenny’s whole apartment is a giant booby trap for a baby.
“In this cabinet you’ll keep live mouse traps and open bleach.”
It goes from silly to ridiculous when Kimberlee instructs Bethenny not to let Bryn play with pots and pans. Bethenny’s like, “What’s going to happen? I’m coming out of my bedroom and Bryn’s at the stove making conch fritters?” HA! Exactly. But Kimberlee warns that if Bryn is allowed to play with pots and pans one day then the next day she’ll pull a boiling pot from the stove thinking it’s her toy. All right. What baby doesn’t play with pots and pans? Kimberlee talks like Bethenny is going to be perpetually tied up and gagged, totally helpless to stop Bryn from touching things and unable to teach her anything. Bethenny thanks Kimberlee and tells her she’s got a great business. You know, only in New York. Well, maybe LA, too, but can you imagine a business like that making money in middle America? Only celebrities pay people for this kind of thing.
Ah, here is another helper come to assist Bethenny in completing an everyday task. Bethenny’s gay friend Jake has come to supervise Bethenny cleaning out her closet. She goes through each piece of lingerie she owns (pulling them out of their ziplock storage bags) and asks Jake if she should keep it or get rid of it. And Jake totally has an opinion about each and every piece!
Jake ponders whether he actually has use for this one.
She gives Gina all of the discarded lingerie to give to her church. I’m so confused. Who wants secondhand underwear?
So here we go to Gina’s Trinidadian conservative Baptist church. Jake has come along, so Bethenny must have thought she’d need help opening a hymn book or something. When they come in they admire the congregation in their Caribbean church clothes, which are either white or brightly colored gowns for the women and headdresses. One lady hands Bethenny some orange fabric and she and Gina help Bethenny tie it on her head so she fits in.
“Honey, I look so much better than Gina it’s embarrassing.”
And the drums start. Bethenny wonders which of the ladies is wearing her old lingerie underneath her gown. The minister begins and asks Bethenny and Jason to come to the front with Bryn. A woman is reading from scriptures about baptizing the child with water and Jason and Bethenny give each other worried looks. While Gina assures them that it’s not a baptism the minister comes and takes Bryn from Bethenny, dabs her with water, then hands her to someone else, who eventually hands her to someone else. There is loud singing and the drums are going and a stranger is bouncing Bryn around while she cries and Bethenny freaks out. She tells Gina she wants her baby back right now. So the ceremony is interrupted and the lady hands Bryn back to Bethenny and Bethenny walks straight out of the church and onto the street. Needle scratch!
Jake feels very strongly that Bryn should go back and finish what she started.
Outside she’s near tears saying she didn’t like how that felt. She doesn’t want to be disrespectful, but she couldn’t stand by while that was going on. Jake reassures her that it’s okay and it’s her mother instinct. Then Jason and Gina come outside and Jason’s trying to explain that it looked too much like a baptism and Gina is insisting that it wasn’t a baptism. Jason and Bethenny are both all worked up and Gina is totally embarrassed. Jason tells us he feels like he let his family down. Okay I have a couple of questions. The first one is a repeat of what I said before: Why volunteer Bryn to participate in a religious ritual that is not their own? AND, if they’re going to, why didn’t they ask for details about what would take place in said ritual? Finally, why didn’t Gina, for heaven’s sake, explain to them what was going to happen? She just said there would be drums and dancing. She should have explained exactly how the procedure was going to happen so that they wouldn’t be taken off guard. ESPECIALLY since it involved a lot of strangers passing their baby around. This whole incident seems so unnecessary. It didn’t need to happen at all, and it certainly didn’t need to erupt into a crisis. I don’t know, what do you guys think?
Safe at home, Jason goes on about how helpless he felt and how badly he feels for not taking action like Bethenny did. Bethenny says that they’re learning that the baby is more important than anyone’s feelings. Bethenny says her main problem was feeling so out of control and that Jason will have to sometimes not be the nice guy for the sake of their child. And now Bethenny says she won’t mind having Bryn baptized Catholic in a calm chapel with a small group of people. So they need to choose godparents. I’m guessing in a Catholic baptism the baby won’t be swooped up and passed around. But Jason and Bethenny should probably make an effort to find out for sure.
To get their minds off the trauma of the near-baptism, Jason and Bethenny go shopping for Halloween costumes. Aw, I love doing this. It’s so much fun! First they try on clown costumes. They look really cute, but clowns are kind of creepy.
“We better hire someone to show us what clowns do.”
And Bethenny has it in her mind that they’re going to be a family of pandas, so they try on panda suits next. And they settle on pandas because it’s more Bryn/Cookie friendly.
Later Bethenny and Jason sit down with Gina to clear the air. Jason explains that they didn’t want to disrespect Gina’s friends, who were so sweet to them, but that the whole thing was eerily similar to a baptism and they were very upset with how the baby was passed around.
“So as punishment, Gina, you get rocks for dinner.”
Gina gives her sincerest apology and explains that it was not a baptism and what happened was a tradition in her religion. They tell Gina she doesn’t need to apologize, but they got uncomfortable. They want to put this behind them with no hard feelings and go on happily. Gina seems drained by the whole thing but she hugs them and I guess all is well again.
Oh goody we have a session with Dr. Amador. Bethenny explains about the baptism-gone-wrong. Her story gets more elaborate and horrifying with each telling. This time the baby was torn out of her arms while her back was turned and then various people took turns shaking Bryn. Dr. Amador reiterates that Bethenny feels very protective of Bryn and wants to know if she ever felt protected by her own mother. I have to ask here: Why? What difference does it make now? Obviously her childhood did not demolish her maternal instinct, so why not focus on going forward? Of course Bethenny never felt protected by her mother, glad we got that cleared up. She knows she will be different with Bryn.
And Jason and Bethenny make a trip to a small Catholic chapel to meet with a priest about Bryn’s legitimate baptism. Father Daly meets them and jokes that perhaps God is calling when Bethenny’s phone rings. He seems very sweet and keeps up with all of Bethenny’s jokes.
“Tell God I’ll have to call him back.”
He goes over the baptismal ceremony in great detail and explains what each step means. See, this is what they needed for the last incident. They both feel good about moving forward with the baptism, even though Bethenny isn’t religious at all. Sidenote: I believe at one point the priest referred to Bryn as Bryn Casey. Then I saw a pillow in Bryn’s nursery that was embroidered with BCH. Middle name?
Aw look, Julie has come over to the condo to work. She sits down with a notepad while Bethenny says they need to plan out everything for the christening. She lists everything they need to decide – a dress for Bryn, a restaurant for after, and godparents. What does Julie think it means to be a godparent? Julie says it means someone who wants to be there for the child and be a part of her life. Like an aunt or an uncle. Bethenny says she wants Julie to be Bryn’s godmother and Julie bursts into tears, saying it’s the biggest honor ever.
“Does this mean another raise? It’s quite a time commitment.”
That’s sweet, but I do find it ever-so-slightly sad that the closest person in Bryn’s life is her mother’s paid assistant. I hope eventually Julie can break away and have her own separate life but still stay good friends with the Hoppys. That would speak volumes for this relationship.
It’s Halloween! The Hoppys have loaded up into the Skinny Girl wrapped car and are headed out into the suburbs to spend Halloween with friends who have a neighborhood to trick-or-treat in.
Family of Furries.
Even Cookie is dressed as a panda. Their friends are dressed as Pauly D and Snooki, which is freaking awesome. The first thing Cookie does is attack the dog who lives here and tries to rip its costume off. Bethenny tells us that it doesn’t matter where they take Cookie, she always acts like that. Good call taking her places then. The mom friend asks if Jason and Bethenny will be moving to the suburbs now that they have Bryn, but Bethenny says if anything they’ll move to LA. These friends have a couple of teenage daughters who come trick-or-treating with them. One of the girls sees a couple of cute boys and makes a beeline over to them, so Jason and Bethenny freak out about what they’re going to do when Bryn gets older. Bethenny suggests a convent. Just don’t let her wind up on 16 and Pregnant, ok guys?
Time for Bryn’s baptism! Jason has enlisted some guy named Opie to be Bryn’s godfather and Gina has even come along to watch. Jason’s parents are here, the beaming grandparents. Father Daly begins by asking what name Brittany has chosen for her baby. Bethenny goes, “I’m Bethenny.” He keeps calling her Brittany anyway. This time Bryn gets to stay safely in Bethenny’s arms for the entire thing. And after she’s baptised she gets to come out in a pretty white dress.
That dress must taste good, too.
It’s all very calm and sweet and everyone is happy. Then later at the restaurant Bryn falls asleep while Julie holds her and Grandma Hoppy tries to fix her dress while Grandpa Hoppy tells her to leave the baby alone and Bethenny does a very long, elongated shoosh to the whole table. No talking at this restaurant! Jason tells a funny story, which is that Bethenny will shoosh everyone so that Bryn can sleep and then she gets right up in Bryn’s face saying, “Now go ahead, Bryn. Go ahead and sleep, go ahead.” Ha ha! That sounds just like her. Jason is very grateful to Bethenny for holding this ceremony for Bryn because it shows how important he is to her. Awwww.
Next week! Bethenny is turning 40 and Buster Bluth is back to help her plan a party! Also Skating with the Stars comes a-knocking. I never watched that, so I’m curious to see how it all went.
So what did you guys think of this episode? The near-baptism, the baptism, the interesting dynamic with Gina… anything else?
Thanks for reading!
-Honey Gangsta
TV Social
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28 Comments
Only on page 1, but had to agree with you HG about celebrities paying people to come tell you this stuff. Have you seen the previews for Bravo’s new Baby concierge show? Really?!?! But I’ll probably watch, lol.
Not even done with page one and I’m telling you that Gina would not be taking up so much space in my fridge, sleeping in late, hogging the bathroom, or trying to instill her own religious values in my child.
Now, back to the recap.
HAHAHA! NWMTV’s “16 & Pregnant” prediction made the recap. Great recap. Thanks.
I call total bullshit on that NOT be a baptism! It had all the makings of a baptism – water/prayer/baby etc. It’s just a blessing for the baby my ass!
That Gina is a sneaky one – she wasn’t really pooping for over 30 minutes but rather making secret plans to lure the Hoppy’s into her crazy cult. She claims that is Trinidadian food in the fridge but is it really?? Keep an eye on her I’m tellin ya!
I’ve been to a Baptist baby blessing, and it was nothing like that. Toward the end of the regular Sunday service, the minister called the parents and baby down to the front of the sanctuary, said a blessing, the congregation then sang a song of Jesus protecting the innocent children, and last there was a prayer. That’s it. No drums, speaking in tongues, or voodoo was performed. The whole thing probably lasted 10 minutes max.
Omg- I lovvvved the Danielle Staub and Buster Bluth references!! Haha I always thought the same things abt those two!
I am a Trini and know of that religion. It is a very boisterous arm of the Baptist faith, and I’m sorry to say, there have been some whisperings abt it’s association with witchcraft. I can total understand why Bethanny freaked out- it must have been loud as heck in there. And yeah, it totally looked like a baptism and Gina must of known that too. Very sneaky of Gina.
Bryn’s going to be the best guest star EVAH on the Dr Phil show in about 15 years.
You guys will love Aunt Jan talking about Bethany Ever After. She is her biggest fan
http://www.youtube.com/user/dangersaucetv
Julie the assistant as Godmother? What happened to Bethandthenme’s high school friend, who helped her terrifically throughout the wedding preparations, and has known B since high school? Picking a hired employee in the face of a viable alternative (and if the high school friend isn’t Catholic, then a friend who is – or Jason’s mother or a friend of Jason’s?) is so crass. Really, from Jason’s perspective, the godmother of his daughter is on the payroll of his wife.
Boring episode, but great recap. Bethenney and Jason had the right to kind of freak out over their baby being passed around, but Jason was a bit dramatic about it. They found it waay inappropriate, and got Bryn out of the situation asap, and btw-SHE WAS COMPLETELY UNHARMED! They were rightfully a tad shaken up, but it wasn’t THAT traumatizing! Jeez. Jason took it way to far with his whole “i’m supposed to be the MAN. The protector…” etc. God, take a xanax and call it a day. It’s not like you threw Bryn into a snake pit or something. Anyway, Bethenney is a super control freak, and it’s totally understandable why. Lastly, I don’t see any problem with Julie being Bryn’s Godmother. She is kind-hearted, trustworthy, and a great role-model for a young girl. Who cares if she’s an “employee”?
I guess I can see this from all angles, being in a few situations myself. When in college, I babysat once a week for a family who moved to Westchester after the birth of their 4th child. Their nanny, who had been with them for a year, as live-in, was given a ticket to Ireland to see her family, as a Xmas gift from the family. So, they called and asked if I can come and do live-in for 3 weeks and go home on the weekends.
Now, this family is totally cool and does make you feel like part of the family. They even made the nanny the Godmother of the youngest son. But for me, working as a live-in is much different than as an occasional babysitter. Sure, I had my own room, and the mom didn’t make me wake up at 5am with the infant but let me sleep until 6:30, when the toddler woke up. I ate meals with them, they invited me to their summer house for vacation, and their teen daughter borrowed my clothes for parties. They even said I go have use of their Lexus whenever I pleased but I didn’t have a license.
But no matter how much you are brought into the fold, you still are an employee. I remember when the kids were down for their nap and the mom kinda passively-aggressivley said that their nanny would take this time to arrange the diaper bags and tidy up the play room. I’m like, wha? I thought nap time meant free time, lol.
I can imagine it’s the same for Gina. Even worse, she doesn’t have her own room, and if she lives there 7 days a week, even when she has down time (she has downtime, right? I hope they aren’t making her work 12 hr days, 7 days a week..that’s inhumane. I’d sleep in, too.), she has no privacy. She still has to share a room with the baby, which means Jason and Bethanny are in and out whenever they please. That would drive me nuts!!
I think bethanny is snarking on Gina for fun for the camera, not legitimately complaining about the food or the bathroom. Plus, do they really only have one bathroom? I thought she made $15 million last year? And her office is a third bedroom so there has to be at least a 1/2 bath in that apt.
As far as the Trinidadian blessing, who knows. It does make me slightly uncomfortable when people call it witchcraft or voodoo which has the connotation of Black magic and negative/harmful spells instead of blessings. Most of these traditions are offshoots of the Yoruba traditions in West Africa. Most people were trafficked from West Africa during the slave trade and these customs have survived/evolved depending on who colonized the countries the Africans were brought to. Spanish colonies, it’s called Santeria..Portuguese colonies, Candomble, and French colonies (Haiti), Vodoum. British colonies have different variations..but in America the people are referred to as Geechee/Gullah people and their customs are traced to the Sierra Leone. Of course, many of the slave maters prohibited this religion so it has been disguised and incorporated into Christianity/Catholicism, with the names of saints replacing the names of dieties/spirits, in order to fool the slave master into believing the religions were no longer in practice.
These are little bits of one’s culture that has survived over 400 years of cultural decimation. And while many people don’t believe in it, I do take a bit of issue with the casual assumption that it is negative or harmful. I think Gina was sharing something from her roots (as she probably does when she makes her traditional dishes) but it freaked Beth and Jason out because it was too….out there. I really didn’t think Gina meant any harm and she must’ve felt awful and embarrassed when they ran out of there like that.
Damn! Sorry for the essay.
(how do I make my emoticon blush?)
I’d love to know what the members of Gina’s church thought about B. running out. She could not stand there with the baby? What did Gina
say the next Sunday? I would have said “The Bitch is crazy, rude, and I’m sorry that happened.” She hires someone to show her how to keep her baby safe at home but does not bother to find out a single thing about Gina’s church before she takes the baby there?
Sarcasttire, I do agree that I’m uncomfortable with likening Gina’s religion to witchcraft, too. I’m from the South and we have some religions, including Catholicism, that border on the heretical to some more conventional believers.
However, I still say I would not let anyone teach my child their religious beliefs and I think anyone attempting to do so with someone else’s child is stepping over a line that shouldn’t be crossed.
You mean, some religions are NOT witchcraft? Go figure. Personally, if I’m not allowed to wear my Wizard’s cloak, I feel naked.
@thiajok: I get what you’re saying. But they were invited to Gina’s church. What did they think they were there for? I don’t fault Gina for overstepping boundaries, it isn’t as if she’d told them it was a neighbor’s house. She used the words ‘blessing’ and ‘church’ so Bethenny knew there would be some form of religious practices going on there beforehand and agreed to Bryn’s Trinidadian ‘blessing’, albeit without knowing what it meant. Maybe it was a simple miscommunication in that the water seemed indicative of a baptism but I still think it came from a positive place and child can’t have too many good spirits protecting them.
Gandalf, is that you? *sputters* But..but…you’re dead!
“trying to instill her own religious values in my child”
Did I miss something? Bryn is a baby and B. took her to that church for that service. Gina did not kidnap Bryn.
I have been fighting with my mother for 18 years over church. She goes. I don’t and no one else in my house goes either so I do agree that no one should be telling my children what to think.
June: That’s like my aunt and cousin. My aunt is a very devout Christian and has recently become a pastor. She attends the kind of expressive Baptist church where people speak in tongues and shout and dance when they are overtaken by the Holy Ghost.
Anyway, she made her son go to parochial school, to church every Sunday, and his attendance card had to be signed by the pastor or he would flunk his Religion course. Well, now that he’s a dad, he rarely brings his kids over because he doesn’t want them to be indoctrinated. It’s sad because he’s her only child, but she’s very deep into church and he knows she won’t be able to resist preaching to his children.
What difference does it make how Bryn was baptized? Neither of her parents go to church so I’m not sure why she was baptized to start with. Catholic, Baptist, Voodoo. She’s never going to see the inside of a church anyway. At least Gina was doing something for the kid she believes in. Can’t really say that for her parents.
Is it Gina’s place to override the parents? In my opinion, no. It wouldn’t even be the grandparents prerogative with my child.
I havent seen the episode but based on the recaps and comments, I do think Bethanney was irresponsible for not getting all the details beforehand and then reacting so horribly in the middle of the ceremony…who does that? You dont get to cry foul when you didnt ask any questions beforehand. I think the fact that she is not religious was all the more reason for her to ask some questions. I would never agree to participate in something that I have no frame of reference for without asking tons of questions.
As I’ve mentioned in other posts, I am from the Carribbean and I have no memory of participating in any type of religious activity as described. I was raised Anglican (which is very similar to Catholic) which is the primary religion of most islands that were British colonies. I dont know enough about Trinidad to speak on their religious practices. Now I have been to some African Baptist churches and their practices are a bit startling to me because its so different to what I am familiar with.
As with all things with Bethanney, she has yet to learn how to handle things appropriately, even when she is in the right. What kind of crackpot therapist is this dude that does not call her out on her reactive, impulsive nature? …and Jason, please shut up and put on your girly pants (we all know that Bethanney has the balls and wearly the manly pants in this relationship)!
Also, I love how she is all up in arms about how and when Bryn gets baptized. Being baptized as a child has no bearing/importance on who you will as an adult. Its up to the parents to set the example and (if they so choose) raise her with Christian values. It’s not like because she got baptized at Gina’s church, Bryn will now be speaking in tongues..
Spending money on a professional to baby proof your house is a joke. All you need is a friend with a toddler. Let the kid free and follow them around for an hour or two. They will show you everything you need to worry about.
Sassygrl, That’s so true!! When I was pregnant, my friend came over with her 18 month nephew and he got into everything. We jokingly called it a ‘test run’ and he definitely let me know where all the fun was/dangers lurked.
Back to the religious thing–Since I live in the South and have been a square peg in a round hole for most of my life, I am leery of people trying to convert people. And yes, babies, too. So yeah, I think some religious people start indoctrinating early in order to hook kids who are too vulnerable to oppose them.
On the other hand, I really don’t think Bethenny or Jason would let it go that far. Especially since the “baptism” scared them so, it shouldn’t be a problem at all anymore. I agree that I would have asked first what was going to happen, but I doubt I would have taken my kid in the first place.
I definitely think Gina steps over too many boundaries but I think Bethenny gives her employees mixed signals.
The baptism wouldn’t have bothered me, but passing my baby around a bunch of strangers sure would have! I’d have grabbed and dashed at that point, too.
Gina did sort of lead Bethenny and what’s his name to believe the ceremony was no big. Bethenny trusts her, so she didn’t see the need for more info. That goes along with her blurring the boundries. She needs to understand that paid employees are not family and sometimes comes from totally different perspectives. To Gina, perhaps that whole ceremony wasn’t a big deal. But since Bethenny doesn’t understand that the people she’s close to can be completely different from her, she trusted something she shouldn’t have.
I grew up in Trinidad. I have never encountered anything like that “Trinidadian” church. Please do not think it is representative. The majority of Trinidadians are Catholic or Hindu (about 40% of the population is of East Indian descent).
@Beth: My friends lives six blocks from that church in Bklyn, NY. She said it’s not called Trinidadian Baptist church like Bethanny kept saying. She said Bethanny had no idea what she was talking about, it is a Yoruba church (based on the West African tribe I mentioned above) and has those practices and customs. She said that there is a festival they host, where the women wear elaborate white or colorful gowns, like we saw on the show, and there is a parade. She also said the church is one of the most well known and well respected in Bklyn.
Either way, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I practice Candomble, which is the Afro-Brazilian religion based on Yoruban customs. The women dress exactly the same, except the skirts have hoops to make them really full. They also wrap their heads, and wear colorful beads of their protector saints and there is a lot of drumming, capoeira, and singing in the streets. Most people who travel to Bahia, Brazil, come specifically to see this, and are fascinated because these women are everywhere and are beautiful and held in high regard. But I guess some things don’t translate well once taken out of their element.
The way it was depicted on the show made it look like some bizarre ritual that usually ends with a throat being slit and blood being splattered. But to those of us who know, it would’ve ended in hugs, plenty of smiles, and even more open minds.