Bethenny Ever After Recap: Hecho en Mexico Part Deux

Recaps

By Alejandra | Tuesday, May 1, 2012 | 4:50 pm | 18 Comments
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Posted in: Bethenny Ever After, Recaps

Aaaand we’re back!  Hecho en Mexico Round Two.  Things start off ideally enough – all the girls are still there, and Jason and Bethenny join them for a big breakfast that features a briefcase full of jam.  Not kidding.  I want to live in Mexico if that’s the jam situation.  Julie briefly mentions needing to sit down with Bethenny and go over some packaging, and you can literally hear Jason’s hackles rising.  Luckily, any proceeding tension is avoided by the return of Valentin, the salty beach merchant.  He’s hawking jewelry this time, and the party wanders over to take a look at the silver and turquoise he’s got to offer.  Bethenny likes an elaborate necklace so much that she actually has to step out of the haggling because she’s too emotionally involved.  Then Jason tries to haggle, but Valentin isn’t having any of it.  I think he’s pissed that instead of negotiating with Bethenny’s breasts, now he’s negotiating with Jason’s face.  Not what I’d call an upward move.  He completely stonewalls Jason, and the group heads off without the (pretty gorgeous) necklace.  Maybe tomorrow…

See, if I point right here to your wrist, I can make it look like I’m staring at the bracelet, but really, my eyes are perfectly lined up to check out your fabulous chi chis.  

After breakfast, Veronica takes the baby and Jason and Bethenny head to couple’s drum therapy.  I like how a drum lesson becomes therapy by replacing the word “lesson” with the word “therapy.”  It’s cute watching the two bang away horribly on bongo drums and Bethenny shake her maracas -  the ones in her hand and on her chest.  For all of their problems, I like watching the couple have fun together.  They always laugh a ton and look like little partners in crime.

“We could take her – we need some bongos…”

But the best part about this segment is that we get to learn why Ra Ra is “Ra Ra” and not the significantly less retarded “Veronica” – Bryn calls her Ra Ra!  Aww!  I’d think that was cute if hadn’t been “Sissy” for the first five years of my little brother’s life because my parents were too fucking lazy to teach him “Alex.”  That was some bullshit.  Commercial!

There’s a beautiful church at the resort and Bethenny, Jason, Bryn and Veronica head up to take a peek.  It’s pretty, but there’s a creepy baby head on the alter that I thought for a minute was Bryn playing in front of it, but then realized it was probably some cherub hanging out up front.  Probably.  Everyone marvels at the church’s loveliness, and then Veronica rushes out in tears.  Jason takes a cue from me and leaves the girls to deal with the weepy bullshit.   Ra Ra’s got a breakup going on, and she misses her family (they’re not dead or anything, just spread out).  Being in the church reminded her of going to church with them and how New York can be a lonely place.  Bethenny and Bryn comfort her, with B telling R that they’re R’s New York family.  Well, Bryn mostly tries to eat her sunglasses (SO CUTE), and Bethenny does the comforting, but if Bryn were old enough to comprehend the words “emotional roller coaster,” I’m sure she’d do her best.

And because it’s totally the perfect moment (not sarcastic), Bethenny finally asks Veronica to be the baby’s new mommy if Jason and Bethenny eventually do kill each other a la “The War of the Roses.”  Do you guys remember that movie?  Fucking great.

“Woof.”

Ra Ra sobs, “Yes,” and she and Bethenny make a Bryn sandwich, soaking the poor baby in tears.  It’s a good thing Bryn’s wearing an ADORABLE SUN HAT.

After everyone’s done bein’ a bitch, it’s time to head to the “culinary experience.”  Apparently it’s some kind of demonstration or class, but the guests don’t actually make anything.  So really, it’s going to a restaurant and having the chef sit at your table and make your food while you have to watch and not talk.  Bethenny concurs with my assessment about ten minutes in when it becomes clear that watching someone make mole sauce while you’re starving and there are no chips and salsa to be seen, is motherfucking torture.

However, just before the food is finished, Liz shows up!  Who’s Liz?  I don’t know and neither does she, it seems.  She’s completely lost, obviously with some tour group that isn’t there, and she walks right up to Bethenny and asks her if she’s Maryanne.  Bethenny does exactly what I would do in that situation and answers yes, she is indeed Maryanne.  Jason’s Maryanne’s husband Chris and the three all have a gay old time trying to figure out what the fuck Liz is supposed to be doing at that moment.  It’s pretty great.

Can she be my new mommy, Jason?

Commercial!

At night, the crew gathers for some backyard skinnyritas prepared by Bethenny, and Jason decides it’s the perfect moment to tell everyone present that the couple will have to move out of their current apartment in 30 days.  Eeep!  I hope the vacation ends tomorrow because it’s sure as shit ruined now.  Julie asks when the new apartment will be done, and Bethenny twangs, “When dawnkees fly.”  At which I laughed out loud and hard.  My roommate’s having a little slumber party about 20 feet away, so Bethenny owes him an apology.  As everything shifts into high gear, Bethenny bemoans the fact that her life is always under the gun and frenetic – because you make it that way by doing everything all the time.  Stop writing that stupid fiction book for one, and maybe your load’ll be lighter.  But she doesn’t listen to me, and instead turns the focus on Maggie, calling out in front of everyone the girl’s need to toughen up.  Embarassing her in front of her co-workers is sure gonna help with that one.  You can literally see Maggie’s sweet little gumdrop heart freeze and shatter into a million pieces.  And if that weren’t enough stress for the evening, let’s get on another fucking boat!

Fuck “All About Eve.”  That movie’s bullshit.

The next day, the couple inexplicably decides to go on a 45 minute boat cruise around Cabo.  Guess what?!  It’s a total disaster!  First of all, Bethenny decides to bring Bryn – mistake number one.  Because when the water gets choppy, it’s the Trinidadian baptism all over again – Bethenny freaks out and the mom gene takes over and it’s back to shore for Bryn.  Jason’s waiting on the boat with Jackie and Maggie, while Bethenny and Julie head back with the baby, and wait for another dinghy to take them back to the yacht.  Jason starts to get seasick and Maggie just starts losing her shit like a pro.  She starts crying, won’t tell anyone what is wrong with her beyond “My eyes are burning from-”  and then hides in the cabin.  Jason, used to dealing with crazy, but probably not impractical, whiny, girly crazy, is at wit’s end and doesn’t know what the fuck to do to help Maggie.  Finally, Bethenny and Julie return, Maggie goes back to the beach and the boat trip… starts.  Fortuitous beginning, no?

B’s convinced Maggie, who ran off the beach in tears complaining about all the attention she was getting, is going to quit pronto, and I completely agree.  That girl does need to toughen up.  Jason and Julie share some private time during which Jason expresses his respect for Julie and her decisiveness.  He’s not been able to make a decision about joining Bethenny’s business ventures full time, and Julie advises him to set a deadline, and whatever decision he makes, to not look back.  Don’t do it, Jason.  What little there is left of your balls will slowly be absorbed into the Bethennyverse, until you won’t be able to tell where your dick ends and hers begins…  Commercial!

After the boat, the four that remain (Jackie, Julie, Bethenny and Jason) head back to the villa and Bethenny interviews that she and boat don’t get along anymore.  She mentions that she used to love them, but it’s been bad experience after bad experience, and she’s done.   She even brings up Scary Island!  Love!!!  She says, “And I went on a boat to St. John with those lunatics, and look how that turned out.”  Awesome.  God, she needs to be on the next RHONYC reunion – she can just sit there and be better than everyone.  That’d make me happy.

And guess who’s on the beach, too – Valentin!  He finally gives Bethenny the necklace, and as a thank you, she makes the girls pick out a couple of things to get to throw him some more sugar.  Aw.  It’s kinda sweet.  Commercial!

We return to Bethenny and Jason at dinner and it’s time to discuss whether or not Jason will work with Bethenny, but really, it’s time to discuss Jason’s massive insecurities when it comes to being Mr. Bethenny Frankel.  It’s all a little incomprehensible, mostly because I’m not a part of their relationship, and despite a lot of it being on television, some of what they talk about is out of context.  It’s also incomprehensible because Bethenny keeps talking over Jason when he tries to explain how he feels, and then gets defensive when he calmly expresses that he feels judged by her for not doing better in his career.  He claims that he’d never felt that way in any relationship, and he can’t understand how he could possibly be feeling judged if she’s not judging him.  And I think we’ve hit on the crux of why Bethenny wants this man in therapy – he has no insight into his own headspace at ALL.  He honestly doesn’t think that he could be judging himself and projecting that onto Bethenny.  No wonder she feels blamed and frustrated…

And then, just as I’m starting to get a little more on her team, she goes and ruins it by getting angry and defensive.  The dinner goes down in flames with the couple barely speaking to each other at the end of the first course.  They both cool off, though, and toast to not being able to stand each other, but loving each other all the same.  Ugh, whatever.  It’s to the point where I can’t deal with their bullshit anymore.  Next time they fight, I’m rewinding to the drum therapy.  That was fun.

This?  Not so much.

And so ends Mexico.  A good time was had by all (well, maybe not Maggie), and it looks like some much-needed rejuvenation was achieved by Bethenny.   Not by me, though.  Maybe next week things’ll work out?  See you then!

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About

Alejandra lives in Los Angeles and is an actor/writer/producer of opinions.  She loves the beach, but never goes, and hates reality stars, but follows them religiously.  In addition to TVGasm, you can read her writing at the online magazine DigN2It, or various fanfiction websites if you're industrious enough to find her.  If you're not industrious at all, a bottle of fine wine will always be an acceptable bribe.

18 Comments

  1. 1
    Lexy
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 7:50 am

    Thanks for the recap, I always laugh :D
    This episode sans the last scene was really good, that scene with “Liz”, glad you pointed out her name, was histerical, that lady was so drunk but the way that Bethenny and Jason handled it reminded me of the old times (lasy year) , when they were more of a couple.
    I am glad that Jason came forward about the root of his resentment and angry attitude towards Bethenny, you are right, he is projecting and thinks she is judging him when it is nobody but himself. If anything she wants his to make up his mind: either stay in your job and be happy, or come and work for her and be in a more executive position.
    Honestly , I think a third option probably will be better: Bethenny financing a whole new project for him, something that he is passionate about.
    The problem? Jason doesn’t really know what he wants, he just knows that he is frustrated because he hasn’t achieve success but that in itself is not enough. He will have to man up and make up his mind and follow through with it.
    I hope he can do it and be back to the nice, laid back, loving guy that he was last season; that is the guy that Bethenny needs to overcome all her insecurities and feel loved.

  2. 2
    hot cawfee
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 7:52 am

    Jason– this your Aunt Cawfee speaking– RUN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kiss the baby, take your passport and underwear and RUN !!!!!!!

    Understand that Bethenny’s “career” is being on TV, self-promotion and full on crazy—-not exactly your strengths amIright???

  3. 3
    hot cawfee
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 7:56 am

    good point Lexy– its all too public for Jason. Every decision or lack of one is amplified via Bravo. This is a private man who was thrust into our homes and on tabloid pages without his consent really. He had to be doing well in his private (well pre- reality TV life)– I mean look at the engagement and wedding rings !!

  4. 4
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 9:03 am

    Thank you for the recaps, I can’t watch this show at the moment, the commericals make ME want to run for the border. This isn’t fun or funny anymore. It’s downright depressing.

  5. 5
    Lexy
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 10:24 am

    I don’t agree with that. Jason met Bethenny when she was on RHNY, I mean there were a crew of cameras following her, matter of fact the night he introduced to her, she was shooting photos for a magazine. he knew her life was public. Jason has enjoyed the limelight as much as Bethenny for the last two seasons BGM and BEA1, he can’t play the card of I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. He is now upset because in his mind his appereance of being perfect is not such afterall.
    I am starting to think that Jason would not be so resentful of her success if somehow he could claim some ownership in that process, but unluckily for him, it is all in camera and it is evident since the begining that this was Bethenny’s idea, conception and baby.
    Jason has not only to recognize the root of his attitude, now he has to work on it, just as much as Bethenny has to work on moving on from her childhood issues.

  6. 6
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    I hope he can do it and be back to the nice, laid back, loving guy that he was last season; that is the guy that Bethenny needs to overcome all her insecurities and feel loved.

    Because she made so much progress toward that when Jason was nice last season?

    They should split that baby in half and go their separate ways. (Bethenney, of course, would get the top half. Because it’s Bethenney.

  7. 7
    Surly Girly Surly Girly
    Posted May 3, 2012 at 4:58 am

    OK, it’s official. I can no longer watch this show. It’s all Bethenny, all the time, with her running schtick that’s no longer amusing, but annoying. I used to enjoy her, but a little goes a looooooong way. Bought the season pass on iTunes, but I’m not even going to watch whatever episodes are left. ((shrug)) … oh, and by the way, Jason calling Bethenny “Mama” makes me cringe, especially when the baby isn’t even present …

  8. 8
    Surly Girly Surly Girly
    Posted May 3, 2012 at 5:02 am


    hot cawfee:

    He had to be doing well in his private (well pre- reality TV life)– I mean look at the engagement and wedding rings !!

    There’s no doubt in my mind Bethenny herself financed the jewels. Is there anything in her life she doesn’t control?

  9. 9
    Still Crazy Still Crazy
    Posted May 3, 2012 at 7:00 am

    Bethenny asking RaRa to take Bryn should something happen to her and Jason was calculated cruelty aimed at Jason’s parents. Why wouldn’t they be named guardians? Because Bethenny is cruel, and knows exactly how to hurt and humiliate them – on national TV, no less. Something this monumental should never be broached with cameras rolling, without Jason present, and with RaRa an emotional wreck as they stroll up a path. From the get-go, Bethenny was antagonistic towards his parents, and manipulative in creating distance between them, their son, and their only grandchild. She successfully marginalized their involvement in her life and that of Jason and Bryn. She is not a good person, there is something fundamentally wrong with her that no amount of boo-hooing in her (sycophantic) therapist’s office can correct.

  10. 10
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted May 3, 2012 at 8:03 am

    @Surly Girly, I like your attitude, there I said it.

  11. 11
    Surly Girly Surly Girly
    Posted May 3, 2012 at 12:36 pm

    … and I’m flattered that you did. There’s much to be surly about, watching these inane reality shows – but I remained glued to the tube. Go figure!

  12. 12
    Alejandra
    Posted May 3, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    I don’t know about that. My mom and dad made arrangements when I was Bryn’s age, and I was all set to go to my Aunt/Godmother, and not one of my two surviving grandparents. Bethenny and Jason both said that leaving Bryn with his parents was a bad idea because of their age, and I totally agree. I’m sure Jason’s parents would love to have Bryn, but God forbid something should happen to them, that’s two traumas the kid would have to endure. Not saying Veronica’s immortal, but if she’s the friend Bethenny says she is, and will have Bethenny’s money to raise Bryn, she’d be my choice, too.

  13. 13
    LastCall
    Posted May 3, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    It wasn’t Bethenny who said Jason’s parents were too old and that’s why they were going to ask RaRa…it sounded more like Jason’s idea. If you don’t believe me, go back and watch the last episode when when Bethenny and Jason discussed this on camera. It kind of shocked me because I was expecting him to jump to his parent’s defense, but no such luck. He was all, “yeah, they’re too old.”

    Besides, you seem to be buying the party line that Bethenny is just a total malignant bitch, rather than looking at the actual situation. Jason takes Bryn to visit his parents VERY regularly, and the Hoppys visit NYC pretty often, so, NO, they are not marginalized. The fact that Bethenny tried early on to set some boundaries, IMO, speaks well of her. She was smart enough to realize that IF your in-laws are constantly butting into your life, you tend to resent those in-laws, no matter how well-intentioned they may be. All she said to them was that she didn’t want to carve this weekly visiting schedule into stone, because if they did that, visiting them would start to feel like a chore. And she is probably right. But I still see no animosity between B and the Hoppys. None. I wish people would stop proclaiming them poor victim’s of Bethenny’s evil plotting. They look perfectly happy to me, and they all seem to get along just fine.

  14. 14
    Still Crazy Still Crazy
    Posted May 3, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    I must have cat-napped during the segment where they discussed such an arrangement on camera. I’m doing it more and more this season …

    However, I don’t “buy into party lines” as you accuse me of doing. I’ve got eyes, ears and a brain and, all of them combined when witnessing her behavior lo these many years have led me to my current opinion. I used to be a huge Bethenny fan, she was my favorite on RHONY. She’s best when taken in small doses, though. Three seasons of all Bethenny all the time is overkill – and it’s revealed facets of her personality that are not very pretty. Fame and fortune have probably contributed to her diva behavior as well.

    I think it is best for everyone concerned that this is reportedly the final season.

  15. 15
    Lexy
    Posted May 4, 2012 at 6:50 am

    I agree, Jason is the one who said that his parent’s age was a factor. It is not like if something happen to Bethenny and Jason, the Hoppys will not have any access to Bryn, they still will be the grandparents no matter what.
    I also think that if something so horrible like two parents dying at the same time happens, the least thing a child needs is another traumatizing experience like moving to another state, moving to another school and having no friends and that is what effectively happen if the grandparetns are the guardians or Julie for that matter.
    Veronica has been friends with Bethenny for as long as Julie and she has shown a very genuine love for Bryn, ultimately that is what matters.

  16. 16
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 4, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    This just in: Scandal on the Jersey Shore. According to Reality Tea, “The strangest Jersey Shore story we have for you this week is a rumor posted by the Enquirer that The Situation hooked up with Bethenny Frankel. Yes, you read that correctly. The rumor started in October of last year when a blind item site posted a tip about an “A list reality star” spending 5 minutes making out with a “second fiddle reality star who thinks he is better than he is.” The site revealed the tip was about Bethenny and Situation. Apparently Bethenny is mad because her talk show is about to air and she does not need a cheating scandal. This one blows my mind: where would these two have met? Would Bethenny even spill a Skinnygirl margarita on Situation much less kiss him? ”

    That’s the story Gasmii. The Bethuation???? Alejandra, you and SuperB might have to get together on the new show recap.

  17. 17
    Surly Girly Surly Girly
    Posted May 4, 2012 at 8:03 pm

    No! Cannot get my head around this. Has got to be untrue. At best, this sounds like a publicity stunt…

  18. 18
    kthxbai
    Posted May 6, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    @Alejandra Thanks again for doing such a good job making me laugh even though this is 1 of the few shows that’s got more bad choices per segment than Teen Mom.

    You’re 100% right Jason’s the 1 judging himself. He’s the 1 with these ideas about the boy having more $. Not Bethenny.

    @Lexy I know, right? Bethenny can totally set him up. Like Ma Manzo did Lauren on RHNJ. But the rest’d be up to him. He could pump all his boy baggage into that.

    But you know it still wouldn’t work. Once he was doing good, he’d want Bethenny to chill and quit hustling even more than he already does. Which she wouldn’t. Because that’s just how she is.

    It always comes back to how they didn’t know each other enough to get married.

    He did get a kick out of the cameras and limelight. But as a temporary thing.

    You can tell he’s not somebody that’s ever going to be happy with that as a permanent lifestyle.

    But she loves it! It’s turned into the normal she always wanted!

    And THAT comes back to my secret suspicion I’ve had about Bethenny.

    I think her getting married too quick was an honest mistake.

    But she’s way smart enough to know anytime you get some $, somebody else is going to try and get ahold of it.

    So how come she didn’t keep her lotto on the DL and get the $ to a safe place before anybody had time to get to the courthouse? And then take her baby (and Jason if he wanted to go) off to another safe place?

    I can’t help but wonder if she messed that up on purpose.

    Because she wants to keep making all these companies and brands and stuff. She loves living in a houseful of people setting up meetings and rubbing lotion on her.

    And she’s just got to be in NYC or LA or both.

    If I could never even think about $ again and just live my life I wouldn’t give a fuck where I did it.

    You can air condition a yurt. Or even a mud hut. And fill it up with all the cheesy gilt reproduction crap you feel like LOLing at this week. Before you give it all away and put in 3 inch silk rugs and huge embroidered pillows. (I take lounging as a lifestyle very seriously) Even an annex just costs a couple of guys and some more mud. You can make a satellite dish out of scrap metal from the dumpster.

    If I was all that isolated, a doctor’d be the 1st staff I hired. And I’d get pills and heroic measures flown in on my cute pink plane.

    But Bethenny’s the opposite! Instead of being relieved about never having to work or think about $ anymore, she was secretly worried she might not get to!

    I put this in the last week’s episode by accident. And I was thinking they could move it after it got through awaiting moderation. But then I thought about it some more. Aand decided I’d go ahead and put it here because they’re so busy remodeling

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