Bethenny Getting Married?: Already Honeymoonin

49 Comments

1. 1
   kdognatl
   Posted July 20, 2010 at 5:44 am

   Aweeee! Beautiful pics HG!! Thanks for sharing!! Those look like the flowers I may have, lol.

   Great recap, thanks for the shout out

   I really liked this episode. Couldn’t stop chuckling at the name change convo and our comments from last recap. Was thinking about you Chem, I loved the scene where they had the wigs on and were dancing. They seem to have fun together. The iguana poop was hilarious and gross.

   Did anyone else notice how weird B’s cheeks looked I think it was during the photo shoot. They looked like she had a bunch of jawbreakers in her mouth or something. IDK, weird. My best friend did a naked pregnancy shoot on her last child and she said she loved it, glad she did it.

   Lol at you HG, when are you having kids??? You know now that you are married that is the next question =D No pressure……

2. 2
   Baxter
   Posted July 20, 2010 at 6:00 am

   Honey Gangsta you look beautiful!!! Awww what a cute couple!

   I loved this episode! I don’t know what it is about this show but it just makes me happy. I guess after all the drama on Real Housewives this is just a breath of fresh air. There isn’t a pretentious bone in Bethanny’s body. I love the way she just lets it all hang out there (literally). I cracked up when she said she would give Jason a blow job for 365 days a year if he ate that pepper. This might be TMI but when my husband and I are making bets on things I always want a back rub and he is going for the BJ, of course neither ever come true.

   Next’s episode looks awesome. I have no children(by the way I live in Pittsburgh and I have never changed a diaper or taken care of a child. I just didn’t babysit growing up and my sisters are older) so I’m looking forward to watching the down and dirty of it. My friends usually just say it hurt but it was beautiful experience blah blah…..no I want to see the real deal so I know what to expect.

3. 3
   classy drunk
   Posted July 20, 2010 at 6:24 am

   Beautiful pictures HG!!!

   Great recap. This episode was so much fun, and I did feel bad for Bethanny because I think we all want to be bombshells for our honeymoon. While most women are losing weight to get into their dress or to look good for the honeymoon, Bethanny was getting bigger by the day.

   I haven’t ever had to change a baby diaper either. (I grew up military so I really don’t call anywhere home) I was never a “baby” person, and so I do my best to avoid them.

4. 4
   chemgal
   Posted July 20, 2010 at 7:10 am

   I too agree that the pictures are beautiful! You’ve brought up a lot of good points and as I was reading I had great responses planned, but now that I’m at the end, lets see how good my recall is and if I have to keep coming back and saying “one more thing”
   First, my overall impression is that I am very happy for Bethenney. Growing up in the tri state area in the late 70′s and 80′s, my friends and I all planned on having great careers and traveling and making it big. Getting married and having kids was in the plans, but it wasn’t THE PLAN. I don’t know if its biology or what, but once I was pregnant, all I wanted to do was be a mommy and that is extremely frightening for someone who viewed a kid as one of life’s accessories. I tried going back to work that first year, but my husband found me sobbing on the side of the tub one night as I felt I was missing everything (my nanny called that day to tell me my son’s first tooth came through – she of course didn’t realize she just made the call that put her out of work!) We agreed I would put in for a year’s leave of absence the next day and that has turned into 10 years at home. While as a kid I pictured the great house I would have and the great vacations, now, I’m just happy that there is money to pay for oil when its delivered. But I wouldn’t change it. I’ve been taking classes and doing free internships while my youngest was in preschool to prepare for a return to the work force in the next year or two and to be honest, if I didn’t have braces and college looming, I might not go back.

   @Baxter – it hurts so bad, there are no words to describe it, and I am a pretty tough customer. I did not do an epidural as I had two friends who got awful headaches that lasted over a week and I am still glad I didn’t as I was able to get up almost immediately and start moving around. I choose to breastfeed and don’t let the lactation consultants fool you – pain, pain, pain for 6 weeks. Then its great after that and you loose the baby weight like crazy. Plus, it is so much easier to go anywhere. Just have a bag by the door with diapers, wipes, and 2 changes of clothes and you are off. No bottles, no water … that and the weight loss is what sold me on breast feeding. AND, the worst part of having a baby, the first poop. That area is so sore and you feel like if you push a poop your entire private region will rip open. Oh and you bleed for 6 weeks after. And you are exhausted, because not only do you have to get up to feed the baby every few hours, they usually need their cord stub cleaned, diaper changed, and if its a boy and he’s circumsized, you need to cover his penis with a vaseline covered gauze pad every time until it heals. Did I mention what a beautiful time this is?
   My only wish for bethenney is that she complained less about her weight. The pregnancy is the easy part, and in my experience, very, very few men think of their wives as fat or unattractive while pregnant. My husband and all his friends have all said they were most attracted to their spouses when they are/were pregnant. My regret is that I did not take more pictures of myself pregnant. And your first pregnancy is the best since you are not busy taking care of another child, so you are able to just sit, put your feet up and watch your belly move.
   @kdognati I read somewhere that those balls on the side of Bethenney’s face could be due to bulimia. According to the site, the muscle that connects the upper and lower jaw are located there and puking a lot can make them prominent. The shape of her face and then the weight added to her cheeks make them more noticeable then on other former bulimics.
   @classy, even with a gaggle of my own kids, I am still not a baby person. I really still don’t like kids – but I love and like my own. But, I do have to say, while I’m not winning any parent of the year awards, I do take my responsibility as a mom to raise functioning, positive members of society very seriously, so my kids are fun to be around. They have their moments, but they tend to have them at home rather then in public where we will disturb other people. My husband and I are careful to take them to appropriate places. So for instance, I think the only way for kids to learn to behave in a restaurant, is to take them to a restaurant. But, we are sure to take them to a chain restaurant and we do it a bit earlier then the normal time (so we arrive around 4:30 so we are eating by 5). this way we don’t disturb anyone’s date night and my kids behave well because they are not tired and hungry. I despise parents who bring their kids to restaurants and allow them to cry, throw things, stare at others over the top of the booth or “visit” other families/people at their table. When we are on our date nights, this makes my blood boil. I’m thinking that I am paying good money to have a babysitter watch my kids and some dope who is either to cheap or too disorganized to do the same thinks I think their kids is sooooooo adorable coming over to me to show me their dance/toy/dress.

5. 5
   kaykrenee
   Posted July 20, 2010 at 10:28 am

   Oh my gosh, I feel famous!! I was mentioned!!! Wow!!! Thank you so much for the pictures. You were an absolutely beautiful bride! Both of you looked gorgeous. I love the dress!!! Looks like you did uplighting at the reception, is that right? I’m thinking of doing that for mine, is it hugely expensive? Thanks again!

6. 6
   skatt
   Posted July 20, 2010 at 11:27 am

   Love the wedding pictures, HG. Great recap! I also love that this show is void of assholes (hi Jill!) and nut bags (hey, Kelly!).

   Question: In the picture from the Dr.’s office- are those feet hanging from the ceiling??

7. 7
   chemgal
   Posted July 20, 2010 at 11:44 am

   @skatt – Oh my gosh, I had to go back and look and they are feet!

8. 8
   kdognatl
   Posted July 20, 2010 at 11:50 am

   O wow, interesting. Thanks for the info Chem. Kinda sad if that’s the case. But I do feel like I read or heard she had an eating disorder at some point when she was younger. I believe that is what made her become a chef.

   Also, thanks for the info on child bearing. Between that and my coworker’s very vivid details about her childs birth, don’t think I will ever have any, lol.

9. 9
   chemgal
   Posted July 20, 2010 at 12:30 pm

   Kdognati, I should have clarifies though that I am not quite 5’2″ and built really small and my first baby was 9 lbs, my other two were 8 lbs each (and two and three weeks early-thank God!). so the first birth was awful as he was huge and so was his head. took me 3 hours to push him out! The second was a lot quicker and my third woke up at 3:45 because my daughter was having a nightmare. As I was rocking her to sleep I realized I was in labor. I got her down, woke up my husband and took a shower. We arrived at the hospital at 5:08 and I had him at 5:21. So 2nd and 3rd births not so bad. The other stuff still happens (including peeing and pooping during the delivery as the woman told Bethenney in an earlier episode) But to be honest, that is the really, really easy part. Its the actual parenting that is hard. You are either busy doing something for your kids or trying to think ahead what can come up, anticipating everyones wants, needs, and emergencies and heading trouble off at the pass. On paper, if you were to write out the pros and cons, the cons would win. I can’t tell you why in reality is doesn’t work out that way, but it really is all worth it. As an aside though, I do have friends who never wanted kids and haven’t and they are very, very comfortable with their decision. They are living full and wonderful lives. So while I am enjoying my decision, I am well aware that there are other people who are just as happy making a different choice.

10. 10
    Baxter
    Posted July 20, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    Thanks Chemgal for the info! I’m also 5’2 so it was really helpful. I actually like the real story so I know what to expect. I know each person has a different experience though. I’m 32 and we are currently trying for a baby. I was just like you and wanted a huge career but I know the minute I get preg, my baby will be my first priority and career will fade into the background.

11. 11
    kloewent
    Posted July 20, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    Wow Chemgal, what an dismal view of the whole birth and parenting process. I had both my 9 pound babies at home with no drugs, no cutting. It does hurt, there is no denying that, but if you prepare yourself with good birthing classes, (not Lamaze, I don’t know anyone who was very successful with that!)you can minimize the pain. I had a few stitches the first time and none the next. If you prepare your nipples for nursing you will only have a week or so of pain, but it does hurt for awhile, However, there is nothing like the feeling of your milk letting down when your baby is in your arms.I barely remember any of the discomfort except for being so darn tired. I still look at both of the births and the first months of being a mother as the most wonderful times in my life. Also, it is very common for the sides of the face to puff up in pregnancy, in her pictures afterwards and before Bethaney doesn’t have it. I doubt she is bulimic.

12. 12
    jjnoza
    Posted July 20, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your wedding pictures – they are beautiful!

    As far as her flying goes… She was about 33 weeks? She was probably able to fly without even a doctor’s release. I probably wouldn’t fly out of the country, but I’m also not one to talk. I flew at 34 weeks with my second pregnancy, and just barely needed a doctor’s note. We had listed our house in OH, because we wanted to move to AZ, and had the opportunity to do so. Listed at the end of my pregnancy, hoping to get a jump on the Spring market, assuming it would take several months to sell, I’d have the baby, then we’d move and everything would be just perfect. Yeeeeeeeeeeah. The house sold as soon as it hit the MLS, basically – 12 hours later we were in contract. So I had to pack up our older daughter and haul ass to AZ to find a house before I wasn’t allowed to fly (I want to say that’s at 37 weeks, might be 35). Found a house in 4 days, three week escrow, unpacked the house the week before my son was born – I unpacked the last room the night before he was born. Nesting is bad enough. Nesting in the midst of a move is like nesting on steroids. Not the best situation for the end of a pregnancy, but it’s not like I was terminally ill either, just pregnant. And since my husband had a stomach bug for most of the week we moved in, and took to bed for several days, I actually did most of it myself. Come to think of it, I think I would have rather flown to an island somewhere at that stage of pregnancy. More fun!

    And I was SO paranoid about pooping on the table with my first. Wound up with a C after three hours of pushing, but I didn’t poop! My nurse said, after the first hour “well, the good news is, if you were going to poop, you probably would have done so by now”. And honest to God, I never leaked pee during either pregnancy, not even a drop. Don’t know how I escaped that, but I was glad!

13. 13
    Imnotthere
    Posted July 20, 2010 at 2:32 pm

    I believe those “feet” hanging from the ceiling was a stuffed stork delivering a baby. For some reason it caught my eye and I focused in on that object.

    I have three sons, now 23, 21 and almost 20. I feel like I am going through the “terrible twos” again, just add a zero! I have always joked that they are the poster children for birth control! I love them dearly and am glad I had them close together. We are now helping them with college (8 of 12 years done) and it is putting us in the poor house.

    My recommendation to anyone who is thinking of having a child, get a puppy first. I wish I had as I may have stopped there. They give you unconditional love. You still have to take care of their bodily needs and take them to the vet, and perhaps to puppy school. But they never require a college education or the keys to the car, or a cellphone!

14. 14
    chemgal
    Posted July 20, 2010 at 3:00 pm

    lighten up kloewent, glad everything was peaches and poutcholi oil for you, but that’s not true for everyone. I’m pretty sure the women here are aware that its just one person’s story. And its not dismal, its factual. Perhaps you have been one of the very rare people blessed with children who left your womb ready to survive on their own, and capable of entering society as a fully functioning member. Me thinks, however, it is most likely that you find parenting easy, cause you don’t do it! Parenting isn’t how you feel, its what you DO. Its a verb and its a lot of work and anyone part of the problem is that no one tells people that BEFORE they do it.

15. 15
    ninad
    Posted July 20, 2010 at 4:16 pm

    THANK YOU Chemgal! I’ve never commented before but I read all the time, but I just had my first child 6 months ago and it’s no picnic! I love my daughter but from birth to six weeks I was miserable. Everything you said was true for me. I find it to be so inconsiderate when people had it easy find the need to speak out about how “easy” it all was. SO many people did this to me during my first couple months of being a mother, and I’m not gonna lie, several of those people made me cry. It’s way hard and there’s no reason to feel like a bad mother for admitting that!

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    Imnotthere
    Posted July 20, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    The beauty of giving birth is that the pain and the memory of said pain fades. Yes, it is excruciating. I remember when I finally got to the point of really wanting something for the pain, it was, “we’re sorry, you are too close to delivering now and it would adversely affect the baby”. So, you get to the point where you have no alternative but to push that bowling ball of a head out because there ain’t no reversing the process at this point! I don’t remember being worried about bodily functions, or even who paraded through my room, or who saw what. In my 1st pregnancy I realized your abdomen became public domain as complete strangers would ask if they could touch it, especially men–creepy!

    My other word of advice would be if you plan on nursing, DO NOT let those nurses give that baby any kind of bottle or pacifier. I learned this the hard way with my firstborn who refused the breast after getting sugar water from those crazy nurses. He would NOT take the breast for anything after that. I had no problem with my next two. Now I wonder if his being bi-polar and the other two having no depression is rooted in this issue. One more thing to blame myself for.

    @chemgal said “Its the actual parenting that is hard. You are either busy doing something for your kids or trying to think ahead what can come up, anticipating everyones wants, needs, and emergencies and heading trouble off at the pass.” SO TRUE, especially, and almost exclusively, for the mother. This is the part that I found and still find extremely exhausting. So much so that I skipped going on vacation with my family this year so that I could rest – I had surgery two weeks prior. Guess who still had to pull all the stuff together for those who went up after my husband left a few days earlier? Yep, ME! I need to stop enabling them!

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    chemgal
    Posted July 20, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    Aw ninad, I wish you were here so I could hug you! it is hard for a lot of people and there is a fear about talking about it because some people don’t know enough to just keep their mouths shut and make you feel that if you say anything it means you don’t love your kids. I think this contributes so much to postpartum depression. I’m happy that some people find it really easy- seriously, kudos to them. My mother looooooooooooved everything about being a mom and she’s taken to grandmothering with the same verve and pep. I have a friend who if I didn’t know better, I would swear is on quaaludes 24/7 and is slipping stuff to her kids; they are all mellow all the time. And, to further induct her into sainthood, she lets me vent without being judgmental! Love her! My experience and the majority of people I have talked to, is not the same. But feeling as if you can’t express your stress or talk about your difficulties makes mothering 10x harder than it needs to be.

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    chemgal
    Posted July 20, 2010 at 5:35 pm

    Oh Cindy, you’ve had it rough, but you remind me of a shirt a friend of mine has. It says something along the lines of “i’m tired of having to be strong, but I’ll keep being as strong as I have to be”. We are already hard enough on ourselves without anyone heaping their issues on us. You sound like a trooper though and its good that you found the gasm because 9 times out of 10, you’ll laugh, feel good, feel like a sisterhood and leave feeling recharged and ready to take on whatever life and your toddlers are going to throw at ya!
    As for your name, if you sign in through facebook, your real name will pop up. If you sign up via tvgasm, you can make up a name and an avatar. Thank goodness that’s how I did it or I’d have kloewent sicking the authorities on me for bad parenting. Or, a bunch of Jersey Italians would be hunting me down (you can’t believe some of the things I’ve said about Teresa on the RHONJ link! Yeah fake identities!!!!)

19. 19
    chemgal
    Posted July 20, 2010 at 5:44 pm

    To go back to the cheeks, Bethenney always had those knob like things near her jaw, they just became more noticeable. I did not mean to imply she was bulimic during her pregnancy or even currently. From what I know about bulimia, once some of the damage is done, its permanent. And one of the side effects is swollen saliva glands and other nodes in the body. She does have a strong jawline, but those knobs seems odd.

20. 20
    lilcutie2881
    Posted July 20, 2010 at 5:50 pm

    thanks, chemgal!! Now i have an alias! woop WOOP! Thanks for the words of encouragement, they made me smile! good thing i didn’t put anything horrible in that previous post geez! Oh yea, wanted to say, wow at how you were able to give birth to 8 lbs and a 9lb baby! I’m 4’11 1/2″ (that 1/2 in makes a difference!) and my kiddos were 5 1/2 and 6 lbs and that was painful!!!

    I can’t wait for next week’s episode! I just know that I’ll cry since she has a 35-weeker like I did. Geez, I seriously feel like I’m watching my life, well, without the fame, $$$, and crazy cujo dog!

21. 21
    sarcasatire
    Posted July 20, 2010 at 7:18 pm

    I can relate to both points. I am a new mommy (to a 6mos old, too, Ninad!) and I finally admitted to myself that I may have been suffering thru post-partum depression for the first 5 months. See, before I’d gotten preggo I was living and working abroad, still seeing my on/off bf who lived in the country I was working in. Due to the nature of my job,(I led backpacking tours throughout South America) I could no longer work while pregnant. So, I packed up and came home. Home-home, as in my mother’s house because she’s retired and would help with raising my baby.

    I’d heard few women, besides those on TV, tell me childbirth/rearing is the most amazing experience. For the most part, all I heard was bitching and moaning about how my life will change, how i’ll never have time for myself, or i’ll never be able to fulfill my goals because I no longer come first…trust me, this is pretty dismal news for a hormonal pregger to hear, no matter how accurate. I mean, all that had already happened!! Plus, no matter how many times it’s said, it never sinks in until one is fully immersed in childrearing, deprived of sleep, and struggling to hold it all together. Thus, the chasm between sympathy and empathy.

    My babe was born in January; her dad lives in another country, and although we speak/skype 5-6 days a week, I still had to hear people project their stigmas onto me that my child would not thrive in a home without a father. Even tho he sings to her, tells her he loves her daily, I’m being told by mere aquaintances, and other fringe characters in my life, that I am preparing her for a lifetime of unhappiness and daddy issues. This, plus the fact that I was no longer working, had no personal time, and had to stay up 20 hrs straight each day because my girl would eat 1oz/hr for a whole month! She didn’t latch until the 9th day, so it was either starve her or pump and bottle feed. She had no nipple confusion, but she did realize milk was easier to get from a bottle(I supplemented due to low supply) and after three months, refused the breast.

    As far as nursing, I have a bone to pick with complete strangers asking me about my breasts and who’s sucking them. No matter who, once someone found out I was preggo they would ask if I was gonna breastfeed. It’s become the default judgement on someone’s commitment to parenting or their expression of love for their child. Why, you ask? Because, the answer must always be yes! Say, yes and you will receive a satisfied smile. Say no, and you will receive a lecture. Inevitably! I would say no just too see if I was right…and yep, always a lecture. Bastards. Now, if someone mentions bfeeding to me I have to grind my teeth to stop from sinking them into their neck. Word of advice for the ‘well-meaning morons’ (thanks, Alex!) and the BF Nazis and their lactivist friends…if the mother(to be) doesn’t bring it up, it’s none of your business! *steps down from soapbox*

    My point is, I became depressed at everything that changed in my life. My friends no longer called to hang out..no one really had time to visit (I live a lil out of the way), and in 5 mos, I’d only gone to lunch once with friends, and the rest of that time was spent with my baby and Mom. (Actually, my mom had a life, lol) It wasn’t until my friend came to visit for a week from Europe 2 weeks ago and my mom watched my LO while I went to the movies, the beach, bars, restaurants, arcades, that I finally felt the cloud lift. I’d held onto all 45lbs of my babyweight, breastfeeding and all, and I think it was due to stress. But now, it’s slowly melting away..and I made a deal to make Tues a personal day, to recharge and take time for myself, guilt-free. Because you can’t offer much to your child when you’re running on empty yourself. That’s the best lesson/advice an experienced mom could give a new one.

22. 22
    GardenGirl
    Posted July 20, 2010 at 7:52 pm

    Not to be morbid but, if you Google “Robert Frankel Obituary” you will see that Bethenny comes by her steroidal-chipmunk-cheeks naturally. Her father had them. Not bulimia, genetics.

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    notwithoutmytv
    Posted July 20, 2010 at 8:43 pm

    When I had my 6th child, I was in labor for 156 hours. The hospital said it was a record. And when I had little Scooter, he was MONSTER FETUS. 22 pounds! The OBGYN said my vagina looked like the Chunnel afterward! ROTFL!!!! I listened to Hasselbeck from The View, so I breast-fed him ’till he was 6. Finally got him off the teat just in time to go to kindegarten. Whew. Good thing Our Savior gave me two, because of course, I delivered No. 7 in between. And my husband’s thingie just won’t give me a rest. So if you ever think you’ve got it rough, just think of poor ol’ little NWMTV. Squeezin’ out rugrats like a Cheetos extruder… Maybe next post I can tell you about my boobs. Jeez Louise, that’s a story in itself!

24. 24
    BugMom22
    Posted July 20, 2010 at 8:56 pm

    Just a word on breast feeding…I still have no feeling in my nipples and my “baby” is sixteen.

25. 25
    kdognatl
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 5:33 am

    I totally get you were not calling Bethenny bulimic, Chem. Just giving me some info. I too also get you were just telling me YOUR experience like the other commenters. I agree it is the parenting that is harder seeing how the birth is a sort of “blip” in the grand scheme of things. And that is actually what keeps me from wanting kids. I am still a bit of a partier, spoiled and selfish. Which all of my mother friends say with change once I have one. I don’t doubt, but not ready to test out, lol. I never say never, but right now I LOVE all my godkids and that I can send them home after a fun time

    Anywho, how excited was I to get home yesterday and catch up on my DVR and our Bethenny was co-hosting the View (Yes I watch, don’t judge me). Bethenny even said how hard breast feeding is and how people don’t tell you that. I was surprised she was co-hosting because when she was a guest a month or so ago, they were mean to her, to ME, and it really pissed me off. Anywho, she looked FABULOUS! I totally love Bethenny’s style and have copied a couple outfits she wore on RHONY.

    Sorry I am rambling, but my coworker I mentioned previously said when she told me about her childbirth, she had wished someone had told her. I don’t get mad or grossed out, well maybe a little grossed out, but I appreciate the info. I get that not everyone has the same experience, but nothing wrong with having all the information. Oh yah several friends told me you won’t know if you poop and the nurses are so quick and good they can get it without you knowing it. And to not embarrass you they won’t tell you.

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    sarcasatire
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 6:28 am

    Oh, and I didn’t poop!! One way to avoid it, if possible…is when you get the first sign of contraction earlier on, you can take an enema. Or some people take caster oil, since labor usually takes hours before gaining intensity and frequency, you could possibly clean yourself out before then.

    My labor was 15hrs, active labor (after 4 cm dilated) was only 7 hrs. But when they told me it was time to push…the baby’s head was already at the end of the tunnel and I only had to force her through my non-stretchy ‘door’. My epi had worn off and I was waiting for my ane..ologist who refused to give me another dose because he said I needed to feel myself pushing. So, I had an epidural and a natural childbirth, go figure. Took only 15 mins to push her out, with the help of an episiotomy aka taint slicer.
    Nothing hurt more than a healing bottom!!! Or is grosser than an still expanded yet now empty uterus. Pushing on it and watching it collapse onto itself only to budge back out again. Eww..

27. 27
    chemgal
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 7:00 am

    I didn’t poop with either my 2nd or 3rd. Those were both incredible deliveries – very fast. Intense pain, but only for a short period of time. With my first, I think it would have went better except for the fact that my labor stalled. In today’s world, I think nurses (who, let’s be honest do pretty much everything -except the very end and c-sections) assume that you have read everything and are very knowledgeable. I went into a hot tub after a few hours of contractions and it helped so much. They left my husband and I for over an hour and when they came back and asked how I was, my husband said “she’s great, she hasn’t complained once” They made me get out immediately and then they told us that in some cases the heat of the tub removes the labor hormone and stops labor. So then I wound up in a bed with pitocin (the drug of the devil!) and it went downhill. On my birth plan I had put that I didn’t want any pain medications and now I realized I should have not been so specific and said I was open based on the experience. The nurses really, really try to get you to stick with what you wrote when you weren’t in a lot of pain and I was told that you are less likely to have ppd if you stick to that plan, because you don’t feel like you “failed”. I think if I had an epidural, I would have been more relaxed and not so tired when it was time to push. At one point when I pushed, I peed all over everyone and I was so embarrassed I started to cry. My husband, bless him, thinking he was helping, leans over and says “its okay honey. don’t be embarrassed by that. you should have actually seen what you did 30 minutes ago” I wound up with an episiotomy as well and over 40 stitches. That’s why I commented on the first poop after being “labor intensive” as well. It was almost as scary as having a baby.
    I really, really hope that no one thinks I told my story to scare anyone or make them choose not to have a baby. Believe me, while you will remember every moment of the birth process, good or bad, it won’t stop you from having another baby. It really is just a blip on the screen of the big picture. I had just wished that someone had told me all of this stuff, especially the first poop after. Then I would have made sure I had a supplies (stool softener, sitz bath, lots and lots of fiber filled foods) at home rather then sending my husband out to get them all after we were home.

28. 28
    sarcasatire
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 8:04 am

    Yes…my doc prescribed stool softeners. A must!! Because if you have an episiotomy, even passing gas feels like birthing twins. And of course, I decided to have a huge bacon cheeseburger and fries 2 hrs after I gave birth. Not smart. But in hindsight, so worth it.
    I made sure I had the Earth Mama Angel Baby Postpartum Recovery Kit in my hospital bag. The Perinium Spray was a huge relief. Plus, the nurse gave me a squirt bottle that i used a bit of iodine with warm water as a makeshift ‘bidet’ which meant less wiping (ouch!) and kept the area clean. If your hospital doesn’t offer this, best bring your own.

29. 29
    itchy
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 8:23 am

    Um, you people realize that the first line of your comments show up in the ‘latest’ comments section of the TVGasm front page, righ? And that you’re talking about poop?

    My wife gets really pissed off when I speak about the brown baby that came out right before our first was born… that was one pissed off gynecologist. All those years in med school, just to get shit on. Heh heh.

    And Notwithoutmytv: you should have your own reality show.

30. 30
    sarcasatire
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 8:52 am

    I realized, itchy. But, alas, it was too late.

31. 31
    chemgal
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 9:02 am

    Its all okay itchy, as someone stated earlier, you soon realize that your privates are no longer private. I gave birth in a teaching hospital, which means they parade all the students/residents/janitor in to take a look at your nether region. And, since I have no family in the area and my husband travels 99% of the year, I have never even had a ob/gyn exam without 1, 2 or even 3 of my children in the room with me. Of course, they all stay at the top of the exam table, exactly where I should have made my husband stand! That plus 10 years of talking about all my kids body functions ……. I really have no boundaries when it comes to poopies.

32. 32
    sarcasatire
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 10:07 am

    @chemgal: My mid-labor facebook status was, “Get these med students outta my crotch!”

    (and yes, I did facebook during labor. don’t judge, lol. Once I got my epidural, all I could do was wait.)

33. 33
    kloewent
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 10:49 am

    Wow chemgirl, you think I should lighten up, you just called me a terrible mother with very litte evidence. Just because I don’t look at parenting as a horrible burden doesn’t mean I don’t do it. My boys are fully functioning, college graduated, contributing members of society. They have never been arrested, have loving relationships with their girlfriends and parents. I think I have done a remarkable job with them. They certainly never felt like I resented them like you seem to with your kids.

34. 34
    chemgal
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 12:08 pm

    kloewent don’t come on a site that is designed to be fun and throw a barb and not expect one thrown right back at you. You are one of those people who thinly veils your insults and then is shocked when the other people are coherent enough to realize they are being insulted. Maybe you only do so here because of the promise of anonymity, maybe in your “real” life you don’t do so, so you thought it was okay to try and read between the lines and attack someone here. You are a nasty person, self-righteous for sure and you got called out on it. You didn’t just come on and try to share your experience, you judged anyone who didn’t do it your way and love it. No one on this thread that shared there less then “kloewent” experience in any way insinuated they resent their kids. You seem to see the negative in everyone and can’t separate another woman’s ability to recognize that they can love their children and acknowledge that it is hard. You’re like the mom at the library play group that sits the side, giving looks to the moms who get stressed, or didn’t have time to pack fresh fruit as a snack, or had the nerve to go get her nails done ( a clear indicator of hating and resenting her child) and then can’t figure out why the other mothers seem to have ostracized her. Your the mother who never offers to hold another mother’s child so that she can use the bathroom alone. Thank goodness your kids turned out so great. Did you judge them as harshly as you judge other people? Did they get a free pass? Prayers go out to anyone unfortunate enough to be your daughter in law. If you judge strangers like this, God help those girls.

35. 35
    plockeness monster
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 12:41 pm

    I am going to start reading this show’s recaps for the comments! Hot damn. Get ‘em chemgal!

36. 36
    Classy Drunk
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    Chemgal, you didn’t make me not want to have kids. Looking after the 3 – 5 year olds one Sunday a month at church did.

    @kdognatl, I get where you are coming from. I like having the freedom of doing whatever I want whenever I want.

    I do not understand how you mommies function with a hangover. Their little high pitch voices that are regularly so cute have to sound like the devil after a long night of Pinot and Turtle Time.

37. 37
    chemgal
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    @classy, its interesting because kids seem to know the difference between hang overs and being sick. I have only had a hang over once with kids and I swear, its like they knew I had been out with some friends and had a good time and they were hazing me as if they Delta Delta Delta with a bone to pick. However, when I had gotten sick back in 2007, it was as if they knew. I spent most all of my time on the couch and they would just come and lay down on me. The nurses in the ICU broke a few rules for us and let them come in and get right in the bed with me during the 2 months I spent there. So in a nutshell: tired and hungover, no sympathy from anyone under aged 12, sick = compassion from little ones.

38. 38
    Baxter
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    Thanks to everyone that commented on the whole birthing process. I really like the true down and dirty of it. My friends are so excited for me to finally start trying to have a baby I feel like they are feeding me the cotton candy version of it all. I’m kind of jumping the gun since I’m not even preg yet but I like to be prepared (which I know is impossible with kids). The tearing is the most horrifying aspect for me.

39. 39
    sarcasatire
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 1:32 pm

    @Classydrunk: two words – Red Bull. *sips*

40. 40
    sarcasatire
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 1:37 pm

    Baxter, doc usually won’t let you tear..my doc tried to stretch me herself but when I couldn’t she commenced to cutting. (using topical anesthesia because my epi wore off)

    Some great sites full of honest women: i-am-pregnantDOTcom and BabyCenter. They both have pre-pregnancy forums as well and then follow your pregnancy week by week. Good luck!!

41. 41
    itchy
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 1:39 pm

    So, um, “Baxter”… you realize getting pregnant is easier when you’re a girl, right?

    Jeez, I’ve been reading through some of the comments on this thread (especially Chemgal’s graphic description). I remember what my wife went through with our boys — glad I’m a guy!

42. 42
    Classy Drunk
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    Thanks for joining our discussion Itchy. I also had to cringe a couple of times reading Chem’s descriptions, but it was all worth it when she took the whipping stick to kloewent.

43. 43
    Baxter
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    Itchy- haha yes thank you for letting me know (Baxter is the name of my dog).

44. 44
    notwithoutmytv
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Okay, okay, let’s shut down the Interwebz forum Thunderdome (two posters enter, one poster leaves!) and get back to talking about labor-induced loss of bowel control… now, I had my 14th when I was in Viet Nam for work, and let me tell you, there was pooping involved! LOLZ!!! This big male Russian nurse strapped me to a mattress coil-spring, and then electrified it with a car battery. Holy Frioles, they had to use a fire hose to clean up the poop. Oh… wait…. that wasn’t my birthing story at all–that’s something I saw in Rambo II. LOL!!! Aren’t I embarrassed! Just color me brown and flush it right down. HA HA.

45. 45
    Robinez
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 8:01 pm

    @chemgal,”
    “As for your name, if you sign in through facebook, your real name will pop up”

    Oh contrare my fair hee hee.Although my name is actually Robin,Lee is my middle name.I got a facebook acct because my sister wanted to talk about her kids with the family etc.The last thing I needed was some crazy people that I knew in my past to suddenly pop-up between my Mother’s post and an aunt’s with “Hey Robin remember when we __ behind the ___ and then we __ and __ ?” LOL

    PS Chem,I know you are a good Mommy.It shine’s through in many of your post’s.Some people don’t truly read post’s in as much as they skim over.And some folks only read one post and jump to conclusions.

    In any case,Hugs to you.

    Robin

46. 46
    Robinez
    Posted July 21, 2010 at 8:28 pm

    @notwithout,It’s funny that you should mention that! I was born in an army tent too!! It was in Washington DC.I remember looking up and seeing a big thing that looked like a pencil.There was a reflecting pool there.I looked into it and my own reflection told me I was going to go far in life…(I had a face for going far .ok?)

    So then I took a swim in the reflecting pool because my reflection said that I would like to swim too.

    Here I sit in Fla.and I like to swim..big deal…and Fla isn’t really that far either…fucking reflecting pool…..

    TC,Robin

47. 47
    chemgal
    Posted July 22, 2010 at 6:53 am

    Tornados here last night so I was without power and literally in my basement with my kids so just finished cleaning the yard up, thanking the lord it missed us and feeling spoiled by having electricity. Thanks for the chuckles this morning! It was greatly needed.

48. 48
    jennjenn25
    Posted July 22, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    For god’s sake chemgirl, give klowent a break, she is entitled to her opinion too. Maybe you should take some chems, you are crazy out of line. Though I appreciate you not taking your kids to restaurants when I am there!!!

49. 49
    chemgal
    Posted July 27, 2010 at 9:49 pm

    As I’ve been away from the gasm for a bit I went back and read, and I have to disagree jennjenn, I don’t thing I was at all out of line with klowent. She came on here and dropped a bomb, she didn’t insinuate, she didn’t suggest, she out and out said I resent my children. No where in my post did I do such a thing. I shared my story, and said both giving birth and parenting are hard. Now perhaps in your world you deal with people who behave in this way by giving them a free pass. To be honest, there have been times that I have done the same, there are some people and some things not worth the time or energy. However, in this case, her behavior was related to the conversation – how hard parenting is. One thing that makes it harder is people who feel the need to satisfy their own (lack of confidence in their parenting?? need to feel superior??) by questioning someone else’s love or commitment to their children. Perhaps in her real life off the boards she is a lovely person. I doubt that. I think she is a woman who has been allowed to almost always get away with giving little digs and insults. She has never been called on it because she has either caught the person off guard or because the person feared they would be viewed by the rest of the people around them as you viewed me – someone who over reacts to a simple comment or difference of opinion. As a result, she gets away with it and continues to do it to people. What occurred was not a simple difference of opinion, rather something she read rubbed her the wrong way and rather than state her opinion about that issue, she had an ax to grind and she tried to decimate another person and accuse me of resenting my children. Really, you think I was crazy out of line to respond as I did to that?