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Monday, July 12, 2010
1:00 pm
17 Comments
Baby mama drama!
Hey guys! This is a very interesting episode of Bethenny Getting Married? for me to recap because I just barely returned from my own fabulous honeymoon after my own fabulous wedding! Of course Bethenny has no chance of even coming close the glory that was the celebration of the brand new Mr. and Mrs. Honey Gangsta, but I’ll go ahead and comment on what happened anyway. Let’s go!
We begin with nine hours to the wedding and counting. Buster is over at the Four Seasons overseeing the decoration and presentation and he tells us that he has just accomplished in four weeks what would normally take him nine to 13 months. He’s very proud of this and just as he finishes patting himself on the back he pulls out a flower arrangement that has been created for Cookie to wear.
Puh-lease!
Okay, what? Ramona’s dog participated in her vow renewal on RHONY and frankly I just don’t get it. Everyone loves their dogs, but is it really necessary to have them in your wedding? Come on.
At 8.5 hours to go Bethenny applies a facial mask and calls her editor with her manuscript. She has overcommitted herself beyond comprehension, but she gets it taken care of and gets her butt off the phone finally.
“I may have to cut the wedding short.”
Assistant Julie walks in with a card for Bethenny from Jason. It says, “Bethenny, today is the first day I get to call you my wife for the rest of my life. I’ll cherish this moment forever. See you tonight. Love, your husband.” Aw, that’s really sweet. Julie is just as excited for Bethenny as any non-paid friend would be and they both shed some tears – ruining Bethenny’s mask. Bethenny wants to know if she looks MORE pregnant today than on any other day, but Julie says no and that the dress WILL fit because there is no other choice. Meanwhile Buster is at the venue taking the dress out of its bag so it can “breathe.” Is it a dress or a bottle of wine?
Poor thing has been all cooped up in plastic.
Maid of Honor Teri comes by for breakfast to hear about how exhausted Bethenny is and that she needs a nap. Good luck. She doesn’t even sleep at night, like she’s really going to take a snooze with her wedding eight hours away? Bethenny relates that she’s not at all excited for her name to be Mrs. Hoppy and Teri points out that “Hoppy” is so close to “happy” that Bethenny should love it. This hasn’t occurred to Bethenny until this moment and it cheers her up a little. But as for baby names, Bethenny is stuck on things like Bunny and Poppy to go along with Hoppy. Hoppy IS kind of a sucky last name, but I’ve heard much worse.
Bethenny calls Buster for some last minute threats lest anything falls short of quintessential New York perfection. He is very calm and reassuring, then hangs up and tells his minions that the flower pots hanging in the windows simply MUST be redone. He knows his life is hanging by a thread here.
Dead man calling.
Back at Bethenny’s Jason’s mom presents her with a little silver locket containing pictures of Jason and Bethenny. This is to serve as the start of a new family tradition, which is lovely. But enough of that sentimental nonsense, the makeup people are here! And not only the makeup people, but also a staffer from OK magazine to get some shots of Bethenny getting ready. That would be sort of annoying, but what’s even more annoying is that Cookie is freaking out all over the place. Poor dog, she has no idea what these teams of strangers are doing in her home.
Snapped. Starring Cookie.
Suddenly it’s only three hours to the wedding and Bethenny is pulling away in an SUV. I guess makeup and putting Bethenny’s hair in Velcro rollers took the last five hours. Buster is still in his zen mode when the OK girl shows up and they both discuss getting bitten by Cookie when attempting to do something for Bethenny. Sheesh! Cookie better watch it or she’s going to find she’s cooked her own goose. As the SUV arrives at the Four Seasons Bethenny is surprised to discover a slew of paparazzi waiting for her. She’s seriously surprised? Aren’t the paparazzi half of her career?
The understated elegance of quintessential New York.
My wedding was way better.
To Buster’s good luck and safety, Bethenny is quite pleased with the set up of the Four Seasons. There are an awful lot of roses going on – red roses everywhere and her bouquet is just a big bunch of white roses. I suppose she considers that quintessential New York, but you have to keep in mind that I just attended my own wedding two weeks ago, so I keep mentally comparing all of her choices to mine. I didn’t use any roses because they seem too common to me. Is that weird? My bouquet was orange calla lilies with a ring of other bright orange flowers around them. Well, Bethenny IS having a winter wedding, so maybe the roses are wintry and my orange flowers were summery. Maybe I’ll get back to the show.
Buster shows Bethenny the place where she’ll appear before all of her wedding guests as she’s about to walk down the aisle and he tells her to pause there for a few moments and take it all in. This is great advice. All you married folks out there know that on your wedding day you are so overwhelmed with so many emotions that it’s really hard to stop and concentrate on any one thing. I kept trying to let everything sink in, but I don’t know if it’s possible while you’re in the middle of it. Bethenny tears up thinking about that moment, and again, I gotta say those emotions are all so powerful and overwhelming – I feel you, girlfriend!
At least pull it together enough to remove all rollers.
Jason arrives and he is all aflutter. He tells Buster that he is completely wound up and nervous and that he needs an alcoholic beverage to help calm him down a little. He says he hasn’t been nervous until the moment he walked in and saw the venue all done up. Why is it that you can be the picture of calm and then just before the ceremony the nerves hit? It’s like, you knew this was coming, you agreed to all of this, you’ve been planning it for months (or weeks in this case), but when it’s upon you it’s terrifying? My dad told me it’s because there is a scale of life changing events from 1 to 100, the death of a child being worth 100, and that getting married is something like 40. I love my dad. Every time he saw how nervous I was he kept saying, “It’s okay to be nervous. Getting married is 40 life-change units.” And it would crack me up every time. I’m just saying, I feel where Jason’s coming from too. 40 life-change units, Jason. It’s okay. Bethenny has her nerves calmed by accepting a foot massage from a Four Season’s waiter. Ha!
I wish someone had remembered to bring makeup.
Jason’s posing for pictures for OK with his best man and they reveal that they’ve had a bet going that whoever got married first owed the other one a thousand dollars. So Jason owes his friend a grand. He’s fine with that, but looking around frantically for the vodka and soda he sent Buster to fetch.
“Dude, I’m so getting a PlayStation.”
Elsewhere Bethenny is getting her hair teased and Maid of Honor Teri is in her face asking if she ever thought she’d be 7 months pregnant walking down the aisle. Then she notices that Bethenny has somehow attached the locket from Jason’s mom onto her panties and Teri thinks this is all very Freudian. When Teri launches into her theories on the Chinese zodiac Bethenny has had it and tells her she needs to calm down. Miraculously Bethenny’s dress fits perfectly and she hardly looks pregnant at all. She looks gorgeous – even though I don’t like the mermaid style. And Buster makes everyone leave the room except for Assistant Julie because he can see how stressed out Teri is making Bethenny.
Outside guess who is arriving to give the paparazzi a thrill? It’s Ramona and Mario! And Ramona is dressed like she’s going to the Oscars. I’m surprised her dog isn’t there with her in diamonds.
Way to not upstage Bethenny, Ramona.
Inside Bethenny has to pee and Buster tells her it’s going to be at least 35 minutes before she’ll have a chance to get to the bathroom. Assistant Julie finds a bucket – a silver Four Seasons bucket, mind you, but a bucket – and she and Buster get all up under Bethenny’s dress, get her panties off, and hang out under her skirt while she pees in the bucket. She even has to stick her finger in a glass of water so that she can relax enough to go.
Just another day at the opulent Four Seasons.
This would be a major problem because bridal gowns are such a freaking process to get in and out of. My adrenaline must have been skyrocketing because once I got my dress on I didn’t have to pee for a good eight hours… luckily.
Oh and here come Simon and Alex in their Academy Award finest.
“Never mind me – I’m just here for Bethenny.”
I love that Bethenny didn’t invite Jill, LuAnn and Kelly. Who needs ‘em? Jason’s hanging out inside with his parents and they’re all talking about how nervous they are. 40 life-change units, guys. It’s okay. The venue is filling up and everyone is speculating about what the dress will look like and how the ceremony will go. It’s time for Bethenny to get into position, which means making her way through the back areas of the restaurant through very tight spaces in her big white dress with her big pregnant belly. She finally arrives at the predetermined point and Buster fusses around her dress and veil making sure everything is perfect. Jason steps up onto the platform – which has been erected over the fabulous pool in the middle of the room.
Some curtains open and there is our Bethenny, serenely holding her bouquet of white roses and taking a moment to feel everything.
Big gasp! Ahhhhhhh.
Jason says, “Wow.” She walks down the aisle to Canon in D and Jason meets her and lifts her veil. He tells her she looks beautiful. The lady minister gives her speech, mentioning that the couple would like to acknowledge Jason’s brother Bryan, who passed away. Jason takes his turn and tells Bethenny how much he loves her and how happy she makes him. Bethenny takes her turn and talks about how much she loves him and his family and wants them to be a team, and how happy she is for that night “in da club.” I guess they met in a club? Very Bethenny. Then the minister does the matrimonial vows and happily they both answer “I do.”
Wake up, Jason!
They exchange rings and promise each other that from this day forward they shall not walk alone. That’s so sweet. And… they’re married! Hooray! Bethenny Getting Married? I guess so! And PS, I didn’t see Cookie anywhere.
Quick! Buster only has 45 minutes to completely transform the room from ceremony set up to reception set up, so he’s doling out orders and Bethenny can’t wait to get her hands on the cake. The sad thing about your wedding cake is that you barely get any. Everyone else eats it. At least for me. I only got the morsel my husband put in my mouth when we cut it and that’s it. And mine was heavenly. I have to wait a year to thaw out the top layer and have another bite. If any of you were lucky enough to eat your own wedding cake – good for you! Any of you yet to have a wedding – get that cake into your mouth! You’ll thank me.
The newlyweds are announced as Mr. and Mrs. Jason Hoppy and they come out to the floor to have their first dance. They both look really happy as they dance to “No One” by Alicia Keys and the crowd slowly joins them.
“Honey – I peed in a bucket!”
Jason’s parents are adorable, btw. They look just as happy as the couple themselves. Teri gives a sweet toast and then everyone sits down to dinner. Later Jason and Bethenny get up to cut the cake and Bethenny announces that the cake is all she has in the world besides Jason. Remember that this is Buster’s big moment of truth because he was ordered to find a cake that would imitate exactly Bethenny’s favorite red velvet cake from a bakery that couldn’t do her wedding. She has threatened Buster’s life and fertility several times over this matter. It looks like Buster is spared because Bethenny loves the cake and even gives Buster a huge hug while she eats it.
“I shall let you live!”
The evening really gets going now that everyone has had a few drinks and is ready to dance. A couple of Jason’s friends even dive into the pool to frolic, which was Bethenny’s worst fear. She decides she has no room to complain since she just got done peeing in a bucket, but personally I think it’s pretty obnoxious. Definitely NOT quintessential New York or respectful of Jason.
Blame it on da al-al-al-al-alcohol.
But I guess if Bethenny and Jason don’t care then why should I? When they leave Jason is still in his tuxedo but Bethenny is in her white “bride” jogging suit. Jason absent-mindedly tells the press that they’re off to St. Bart’s for their honeymoon. Welcome, paparazzi!
Next week… the honeymoon! It looks like they find some animal poop in their hotel room so they have to search through their stuff for an iguana. Ew!
So what did you think?? Was this the wedding of the year? Of course not – mine was! Ha! But really, let’s hear it!
Thanks for reading!
-Honey Gangsta
17 Comments
Congratulations on your wedding! It’s been 25 years since Mr. Wrangler and I were wed, but I’ll never forget the excitement of that day!
What can I say about Bethenny and Jason’s wedding? I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats! And Bethenny is so fortunate to be gaining a mom and dad. They are sooo sweet to her.
And, there is nothing to stop the urge to pee when you’re pregnant, ask any mom. The worst part is, in the later months, you sit there and nothing comes out! Anyway, could have done without that whole scene, but the rest was awesome!
Congrats HG! Your dad’s advice was too cute. I love it! I am feeling you a little bit. My pending nuptials aren’t until next May and my left eye has been twitching for the last week. My latest “stress” is the fact I always knew I would take my husband’s name but now that it’s actually gonna happen, I have been thinking I really like the name I have used for last 31+ years. I really like my signature too, lol. My sister and I had a good laugh about us not liking her husband/my fiance’s last names. She’s been married over a year and still hasn’t changed her name, lol. Anyway, I digress.
Great recap! I really liked this episode, probably because I am also planning a wedding. But yes I did cry. I am a big baby crier and I have to spend the next 9 months trying to work that out. I really do not want red eyes and tear streaked cheeks in my wedding pictures.
Did it bother anybody else that Buster didn’t help Bethenny down those 4 or 5 steps? I guess it was no biggie, but with the fit of the dress and heels (AND PREGNANT) I felt someone should have kind of escorted her, just down those steps. It made me nervous. I too agree about the guys in the pool, seriously? She did say they think they are in Animal House. Yah Scotty, I could have passed on the peeing in the bucket scene as well. Other than that, I loved the episode. Jason and his parents are great, as well as B’s assistant Julie. I was so happy for Buster that it went so perfectly and Bethenny and Jason were so happy. Congrats again Honey!
Is it just me, or did anyone else hear the death knell for the RHONY? Without B will
be a huge test.
annie, yes I agree with that. without Bethenny it will not be the same, and definitely in the last season she is the only reason why I even tuned in. I hate the NJ bitches & the OC, so now the only ones left that I’ll enjoy is the ATL. wanna bet that it’ll be Nene’s & Kim’s last seasons too, then there won’t be ANY reason to watch ANY of them?? argh.
anyway, the wedding made me cry. I am so happy for her. I still don’t think her & Jason are a match, but we’ll see. I like him a little more & more with each episode, but I still honestly do not get what she sees in him. maybe it just doesn’t translate well over television. :shrug:
needing to pee while you’re pregnant is the worst & I laughed through that scene. I will probably need to pee in a bucket whenever I get married & I know I’m not gonna be pregnant then, haha. when you gotta go you gotta go!
Anne, I saw that on Wendy Williams yesterday. It is kinda of sad that Bethanny will be leaving the show. I think she’s the only one who realized that while this is their lives it’s also for other people’s entertainment. I do think it will be fun to see LuLu and Sonia hang out together.
Thanks Scottywrangler and Kdognatl for the congrats! It really was such an amazing day.
Kdognatl – I hear on the name change thing, especially with the signature. It’s like you spend your whole life perfecting your signature then suddenly there are all new letters and it takes five minutes to write it nicely.
And as for the crying – forget it. I bawled all through the ceremony, then all through the dance with my dad and all through the first dance with my husband. I kept trying to compose myself, but to no avail. Then on our last dance before we left I completely lost it. I had my face buried in my husband’s shoulder and just sobbed. BUT I had such a miraculous makeup lady that my special eyelashes stayed put the entire time! My face is red and puffy in half of our pictures, but it reminds me of how I felt that day. It took about 24 hours before I stopped tearing up every few minutes.
Congratulations on the upcoming nuptials, Kdognatl!!! That is so exciting and fun!!!
I like Bethenny and all, but I wish she’d have stayed on RHONY. I can’t bring myself to like her new show. For one thing, I can’t get past the name. Bethenny GETTING MARRIED? What is that? Are they going to change the title every year? Maybe next year “Bethenny CHANGING DIAPERS?” Ugh. I personally don’t really see the interest in Jason, either. He’s kind of bland, and to me he doesn’t treat Bethenny very nicely at times (for example, when he dumped his friends off on her while he went to Florida and basically told her too bad, it’s happening).
So I’ll just continue to enjoy the recaps. Thanks, Honey Gangsta, for doing for me what I can’t bring myself to do – watch this show. And congratulations on your own wedding.
Congrats Honey Gangsta!
kdognatl: One of my eyes seriously twitched for an entire week before my wedding, it was quite obnoxious! And I totally remember feeling much anxiety over my name change, especially since I went from the beginning of the alphabet with a rather unique last name to something that is very common and in the middle of the alphabet. I dropped my middle name and kept my maiden name as my middle…but whatever you decide will be right for you
I absolutely love Bethenny. I can’t help it! I cried thru their ceremony much as I cry at every wedding including my own. But when I was in the back of the church getting ready to walk with my dad…I kept telling myself that the photographer would forever capture my “ugly cry” face if I didn’t pull it together, and that seemed to work for a bit
Thanks HG!! I am very excited. I am smiling not laughing at you crying during your festivities. That could totally be me. Much to EVERYONE’s shock I did not cry at my sister’s wedding, but I literally zoned out to keep from doing so. I do not remember anything during her ceremony, well maybe holding her bouquet and straightening her dress a couple of times, lol.
LOL at LNNC! I will eventually be ok with the last name. I am adverse to change type
My coworker told me the eye twitches were for stress, which honestly I am not THAT stressed. So he said also extreme happiness, which I kinda think he threw in to make me feel better. So I think I will go with that one 
As a former teacher, a lot of my students hated that their parents (who were married) had different last names. But not as much as students who got stuck with hyphenated last names. Knowing that and knowing we were having kids, I had no problem taking my new name. Experts always tell you that money is the biggest reason for divorce, but I think the biggest reason is that couples now don’t really become their own family. They keep money separate and their names different. IMHO, its an indication that someone is not ready to make a 100% commitment. Go ahead blast away if you wish, but I’ve got 13 years under my belt, and we’ve been tested by 1) my 3 year (and still going) battle with illness, 2)medical bills out the wazoo and literally one week not knowing how we were going to fee our kids 3) 1 miscarriage 4) job loss 5) child with autism 6) second pregnancy diagnosed with down’s 7) MIL with alzheimer’s Sooooooooo, have some experience on what makes it through the rough times and what doesn’t
I see what you are saying Chemgal. I personally don’t feel a need to blast away at you. I am sure that with what you have experienced, you can be very insightful. I can’t speak for HG or LNNC, but I plan on changing my last name and being very proud to take my new husband’s name. But being what I guess is considered an older bride (32 when I get married) I was just expressing being used to the name I’ve had and liking it. I think my fiancé can attest to some of the things we have gone through, and I know he is very confident in my level of commitment to him.
I personally don’t get kids reactions to their parents’ last names being different than theirs. My mom has had a different last name than my sister and I for the last 20+ years and we never had an issue, never a thought actually. If anyone did, my mom did because she hyphenated for awhile. After 25 years of marriage, I think my mom too knows what it takes make it through the rough times. Because I talk to her everyday, I will get my advice from her, even though she and I have different last names
I think that’s great you have had a long strong marriage that has come thru trials and tribulations. I would wish the same success in the future for you as well to HG and others (and myself =)
Honey, I was hoping you’d include some pics of yours! Just one, you can blur out your faces. Pretty pretty please, next time!
Thanks kdognati. Its always hard to give “motherly” advice on such a venue as it can come across as harsh, condescending, bratty, bitchy ……. and I promise, I am not trying to be any of those to anyone. A bit touchy as we are watching my BIL’s marriage failing and a close friend’s as well. Feeling a bit guilty as I was too afraid to give them advice when things were still salvageable.
I hear ya Chem. I love TVGasm, and I hate when it gets all mean and mad. I stop commenting on other recaps when it gets to name calling and plain meanness. I think we all should be able to express our opinions and understand that is what they are, opinions. I hope and try not to offend anyone, but when in writing, like text, you can never really know the tone. So if you are super sensitive, you can take it the wrong way.
I told my sister what you said and she totally agreed with you about the name change. So I called her out on when she was changing hers and she said she told me weeks ago she was perfecting her signature (rolling my eyes and laughing). I will give her a little credit, her husband is Polish and the last name is a little tricky. She also said her delay in name change is pure laziness.
If you knew my sister you would believe that.
Congrats on your wedding! And I love calla lillies, good choice! Prefer them to roses as well.
kdognati enjoy the planning and all the excitement! Life is too short not to make a big deal and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! Remember though, something will go wrong (guests who didn’t rsvp will show up, someone will be puking, wrong flowers show up, etc) As long as the food and band or dj is good and you have fun, everyone else will too. My BIL and his wife dropped close to 100,000 on their big day 15 years ago and no one had a good time because they were so wrapped up in making it perfect that they made everyone else walk on eggshells. My husband and I got a lesson and were very low key, which was good because my aunt wound up in ICU the week before and when I visited her the day before the wedding I knew I would never see her again. My cousins who were in the wedding party stayed by her side and couldn’t make it to the wedding and one was my hair/makeup person. I found a last minute replacement but you know how that goes, hair and makeup not so great. My small bunch of flowers wound up being an entire arrangement somehow so we stuck those in a vase on the table and I carried nothing. My other aunt and uncle got lost and never made it to the church. My future MIL’s dress ripped and because she is such a large woman there weren’t any stores locally that she could even run into to get a replacement. So we duct taped it for the church and pictures and then she wore her bathing suit cover up to the reception as it was the only clean thing she had in the hotel room. It was like “the griswold’s get married”. But, everyone had a great time and so did we! Best wishes to you and your fiance!
What jackasses Jason’s friends are! Jumping the pool at the most elegant hotel and restaurant in NYC.