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Watching Big Brother 6 this summer is really a test of patience. In general, the twists this year have kind of sucked, but let’s be honest – it was sort of expected that they would suck. We had to endure the agony that was Eric as head of household, followed by the bliss of having Kaysar in power. Our happiness was short-lived as Maggie won HOH, and promptly orchestrated Kaysar’s ouster. This week, we got to start back off on a high note because Howie was able to secure himself a win as HOH, meaning we kept “The Friendship” from power. On top of that, we learned that Kaysar has a chance of making it back into the house, at least as long as CBS decides they want to do what the majority of fans want. Although the prospect of Eric coming into the house is a tough pill to swallow, at least we know Howie is going to keep the Friendship at bay, right?The aftermath of the Kaysar vote was a lot of the expected. The Head of Household always says that they were proud of the outcome, and there are always people that say that they are sad the person left. In this case, people were very sad to see Kaysar go, and I was surprised that he only received one vote. Even Sarah mentioned that he deserved more than one vote. But even though Kaysar received only one vote, he was very calm about it. Like Janelle said, he was very composed and considerate when he was evicted, unlike say, CAPPY, who, of course refused to acknowledge the people who voted to evict him. Just another reason to Vote for Kaysar in America’s Choice, don’t you think?
When Howie won HOH, I was very pleased. The Kaysar alliance did a great job eliminating The Friendship, and Rachel and Howie were the final two left. When Howie won, I thought that maybe Rachel didn’t want to win because if she won again, people would see her as a threat. She said that was pretty much true, but it’s not like there was a lot to worry about. Howie was not the brains of that couple, and he pretty much let Rachel call the shots anyway.
The Friendship was trying to deal with the aftermath and were trying their hardest to put a positive spin on it. Maggie said Howie’s win was a crapshoot, because you couldn’t really know who he was going to target, but some in her alliance didn’t agree with her. April mentioned that the HOH competition really showed who was on what side and who had problems with what people. Specifically, they were wondering why Howie got rid of April instead of Sarah, who they said was campaigning against Howie the previous week.
Now, I don’t log onto the live feeds, so I can’t say for sure, but from what I have seen, I think it was pretty clear what the divisions in the house were, and I wonder how this was so confusing for April. Is the Friendship so stupid that they couldn’t figure out how people were aligning? Were they so oblivious that their own actions while Maggie was HOH did more to show how the house was divided than anything else? Perhaps the fact that the entire friendship camped out in the HOH bedroom the entire week might have tipped off the others that there was some sort of division in the house? Maybe they didn’t notice that there were only five people singing the praises of Cappy and the others were sick of him? And then, you think it would have been hard to miss when Eric was nominated against Maggie and five people voted to evict him. I know you start to lose your memory as you get older April, but there was plenty of evidence in the house.
Howie received his HOH room, and you can tell that the houseguests are already starting to get bored of these opening ceremonies each week. Everybody gets their basket full of food and whatnot, and Howie was really hoping that he would get a light sabre. Sarah kept on calling it a “light saver”, which really just confirms what James has been saying about her all along. Howie did get a pair of Speedos, and Ivette was happy because that means he might actually wear something in the pool besides that french cut underwear he sports all of the time.The most important things with the new HOH room were basically the pictures, and Howie had a bunch including one from his time as a stripper. Ahhh yes, we always make fun of the weathergirls on TV for being nothing more than bimbos, and it looks like the people aspiring to be weathermen are mimbos in their own right. And if Howie was a stripper, which I did not know, how can there not be pictures of him from some bachelorette party on the internet? We found topless pictures of Diane and Scott from Playgirl last year, but not a word on Howie? Something is amiss.
The biggest news of the week inside the house was the same as it was outside of the house, who is going to be voted back by America’s Choice and how is that return going to affect the game? Now, they did a little piece where each evicted houseguest gave their little plea to get back into the house. There is an e-mail circulating that Michael has promised to go into the house, drop trou, then walk out of the house with his pants down on live TV, but if the Michael blog is any indication, this is also a very huge hoax. Don’t believe the hype! You have your marching orders! VOTE KAYSAR!
It seems that a lot of the house was worrying about the same outcome as we were, namely, how shitty would it be if Eric Littman made it back? For the remnants of the Kaysar alliance, they were trying to deal with that scenario. Targeting Maggie would be the smart move according to some, and I would have to agree. Strategically, getting rid of Maggie is a good way to make sure that if Eric enters the house, he will be returning to a team that was not as strong as when he left. Even if you are playing out of pure spite, you have to get rid of Maggie, right? She got rid of Kaysar, and The Friendship is the most annoying collection of idiots since people got together to write the Daredevil movie.
Still, you never know what the HOH is going to do until he or she reveal the nominations, and Howie was really starting to push the idea that they should get rid of James because he was campaigning against Rachel and Howie. Sure James was trying to save his own ass in the game, but he did swear on the Bible with Ivette, and he has been playing both sides.
Normally, taking out a person like James would really be a good idea, but as Janelle pointed out, the numbers game isn’t in their favor, and she makes a very good point. If they get rid of James, they are going to lose Sarah. Granted, she hasn’t worried anybody about winning HOH, but if they got rid of her boyfriend and the Friendship needed numbers, she would be more than willing. If Eric was back in the house, it would be three against seven, and those numbers aren’t the odds you want to face when going through this game.
I thought that Rachel and Janelle did enough to convince Howie not to choose James and Sarah for the time being, but a string of visitors in the HOH room started to get me worried. First, April and Jenny came in, and since Howie has boobies on his mind more often than a six year old with a Playboy, I knew he would listen. He started by saying that he didn’t know who he could trust in the house anymore, and wondered who they could trust, and who they didn’t trust. I make fun of April for being old, and she really isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to formulating strategies, but when it comes with coming up with examples to damage a person’s credibility, she really is good, especially when it comes to saving her own bony ass. As soon as Howie gave her that opening about who she didn’t trust, she went to name a litany of items that James has done while in the house that proved he wasn’t trustworthy.
After Jenny and April were done, Beau and Ivette followed. By the way, the fact that these two groups of people came in to discuss strategy together doesn’t mean they knew each other at all. It’s just a coincidence. Anyway, when Ivette came in, she said the same thing – “Get rid of James”. She said that she had never gone back on her word and that if they could get rid of James this week, they would do their part to get rid of Sarah next week. It then dawned on me that Ivette has managed to keep herself off the block this entire time, which is amazing considering how obvious her loyalties are.
James and Sarah interrupted the Beau and Ivette show, and they knew that something was wrong. Howie immediately changes the discussion and says that Ivette and Beau were trying to tell him that James was on their side, but that he didn’t believe it. James believed that Howie didn’t take Ivette seriously, but it still would have been smart for him to campaign a little, just to re-epmhasize the point. As much as James was scheming in previous weeks to save his ass, he really slacked off this week, trusting that Howie would keep him safe. He said that he was relived that he finally wouldn’t have to work to save his ass in the veto competition, and that as long as people kept their promises, he was safe. What a great gamble James! Considering that every time a guy has been HOH he has broken some kind of promise, I wouldn’t rest on your ass and pretend you’re safe. James felt so secure, he welcomed the idea of Eric coming back into the house, saying that if America sends Eric into the house, he’ll send his ass right back.
James’ presence seemed to simply piss Howie off more, and by the time Maggie rolled around to ask if she was in any danger, Howie took it upon himself to basically make a deal with Maggie by saying that he would put up James and Sarah if the Friendhsip went after whoever didn’t get voted out of the house the next week. Granted, if there was anything everybody in the house wanted, it would be to get rid of James. Well, James and Sarah wouldn’t agree with that, but you get the point. By cooperating, Howie was hoping to keep himself and Rachel around at least another week.
Now, I know that James is a strong player in the game but until the numbers get much smaller, he is bascially marginalized in the house because of his constant playing one side versus the other. The Friendship is still very dangerous because they still have numbers. Getting rid of James the way Howie was planning would mean the Kaysar alliance would be down to three since Sarah would never stay with them. Even if Kaysar comes back, that means that it would be Howie, Rachel, Kaysar, and Janelle vs. The Friendship plus whatever Sarah tries to do. And that’s the best-case scenario! If James saves himself in this scenario and Sarah goes home, he would be pretty pissed. Add Eric to the mix and you have three vs. The Friendship plus James. That is just dumb.
Now, the best thing to do would be to put up April and Maggie. First, Maggie would be the target, because she is the only one among The Friendship that ever is able to plan. By putting April up against Maggie, you would force her to campaign for herself, furthering fracturing the Friendship. Finally, with April vulnerable, she would be willing to make a deal. Take your chance getting April and Jenny into the Kaysar alliance, and when their votes are secure, only then do you tip your hand and make a play against James.
It’s easy to say this from outside the house, but when Rachel heard Howie’s plan, she was furious. They had talked about getting rid of James, but only if they could backdoor him into the nomination, and they weren’t ever discussing letting other people into their plan. Now they look like they are playing both sides and need to work on promises. Howie and Rachel, who are sleeping in the HOH bed with each other (but not, with each other) much to his delight, start arguing about this and how they are going to get themselves out of this hole. At this point, I would still say the best bet is to screw over Maggie, but you just don’t have a clue which set of brains Howie is working with at this point.
Saturday episodes also bring us the food competition, and I was excited to see that the house would be split into two teams. Finally! What we needed was some inequality in the food conditions to get people to bicker a little more. And just in case April couldn’t figure out who was on each side, the teams ended up being The Friendship (minus Jenny but plus Janelle) vs. the rest of the house.
The competition was called “Conveyor Belch” and is exactly the type of light-hearted competition we hope to see in the food competition. Yes, despite all my furor over last week’s funny business, I really don’t care how difficult the food competitions are, just as long as they aren’t fixed. Conveyor Belch was set up like that “I Love Lucy” episode where Lucy is in the candy factory or whatever and has to wrap candies, but as the candy comes by too fast, she start to eat it, to prevent unwrapped chocolates from being sent down the conveyor. The object of the Big Brother version was to eat as much of the food that passed by as possible. Any food not eaten would drop into a bucket at the end of the conveyor belt. Since any food they didn’t eat went into the bucket, the team who ate the most would be the one with the least amount of weight in the bucket at the end.
At the beginning, it looked like quite a battle. The two teams easily polished off a bunch of chocolate kisses, with Beau seeming particularly eager to get his hands on some. But quickly, the food became more substantial and more of it came down the conveyor belt. First it was some snowcaps, and then some cookies, and then some eclairs, then pieces of cake until finally there were full cakes coming down the conveyor belt. Both teams were working equally hard, which was quite surprising, because Janelle didn’t have any incentive to win because she had the PB&J pass which assures her food each week.
The Friendship were all amazed at how hard Janelle was playing. After all, she got food anyway. Ivette and April mentioned that she took one for the team, and yes, I was really amazed at how much food Janelle had managed to stuff into her mouth. Why make yourself sick when you get the food regardless? Well, it turns out that our lovely Janelle was sabotaging the whole game. She wasn’t putting food into her mouth as much as she was simply smashing her face into a bunch of food to make it look like she was eating a ton. As Janelle said, “I like playing make believe”. Her cutsie way of explaining away all of her evil intentions might the must lovable thing about her. The plan worked, and The Friendship lost, meaning everybody had a bunch of ghetto recipes to look forward to this week. Perhaps Ivette will come up with ghetto sushi, ghetto farfalle, or ghetto white truffle risotto. She’s so creative!
To pass the time away, we usually get a Howie segment, but since Howie is HOH and we already spent plenty of time on listening to what he had to say, the producers decided to go for another easy target – April. We make fun of April because you really can’t trust her age. It’s like those Dominican baseball players that turn out to be 5 years older than they really are because they were trying to sign a better deal. I think April did the same thing, but she shaved like 15 years off in order to get a better husband. Listen, I think she is quite attractive…for a 45 year-old. If she said she was 45, she would have to be dating 60 year-old men. If she says that she is thirty, she can more easily find a husband her own age, as long as they don’t mind having a dog named Pepperoni in lieu of the ability to bear any children.
It turns out that April has some physical ailments. For instance, she has this bump on her tailbone. Now, she said that it was from falling off a horse, which sounds like a very convenient excuse for an older person who is too embarrassed to say that they fell off of their walker. April tries to get a bunch of people to feel her little bump where her tailbone was broken, and people start comparing it to a little doggie tail that has been clipped, like that of a doberman. They even ask her if it wiggles back and forth when she gets excited. Ivette calls her a lemon because like that car you buy, she looks really good on the outside, but is all busted up on the inside. Let’s hope for her sake, the lemon law doesn’t apply to wives, or her husband might be trying for a newer model.
The other little quirk we learn about April is that she loves to smoke. Well, when she moved into the house, she tried to convince people that she didn’t really smoke, but when they find out that you packed three cartons of cigarettes with you for your time in the house, that is going to make people wonder a little bit about the truth of that statement. When you go through those three cartons in only about a month in the house, then you really have to wonder.
Even if April is letting people bum a few smokes off of her now and then, that still averages to about a pack a day. How she tries to spin that into the idea that she doesn’t smoke is beyond me. Of course she tries to give the usual excuses like she only does it when stressed, and it has been a really stressful summer, but come on. That voice sounds like one of those old ladies in the Vegas casinos that cash in your chips. Their voices are deep, scratchy, and scraggily, largely because they have been working at the casino for forty years and it sounds like they have been smoking for eighty. Then again, if April was a heavy smoker, it would go a long ways to explain why she looks twice as old as she says she is. But not to worry, she’ll be back at her nursing home at worst in a couple of months, and the ladies in the pinochle club will have their full game again.
Despite those little distractions, there is still the issue of the nominations. Rachel knew that there wasn’t a whole lot they could do to save face after the deal Howie made. They were going to have to go back on somebody’s deal. Again, I think it would have been preferably to backstab Maggie, since she was prepared for it, but that’s not the route they chose. Instead, they wanted to make The Friendship believe that they needed Rachel and Howie a lot more than the other way around, and it seemed to work. Rachel told April and Maggie that she and Howie were essentially doing the work that Maggie f’d up and couldn’t finish on her own. For their trouble, they wanted two weeks of no nominations. That seemed fine for Maggie, and it looked like she was going to be safe. Since she had been basically throwing up over all the stress of the nominations, it was a great deal for her. As for Rachel and Howie, even though she promised not to nominate them and said The Friendship would agree, she stated in the diary room that she can’t be sure the rest of her alliance (which April tried to spin as not being an alliance, just a gathering of people working for the same goal who agreed to protect each other…) is going to follow suit.
So when nominations came, it was indeed James and Sarah. Howie said he wanted to take out James because he felt he wouldn’t be able to win with James in the house, and Sarah because they were allies. James didn’t buy it, and I really think the gloves are going to be coming off this week. As for Sarah, she is just upset she was so blind-sided, and with the way things played out, it was obvious that she didn’t have a single friend in the house.
I think there was a better way for Howie to go about it. He could have said that he was nominating Maggie and James, and tell both of them that they were a pawn. Afterwards, he sees how both of them act, and it can buy him time to decide James’ loyalty as well as being a better bargaining chip with The Friendship. If either won Veto, he would have a number of different options of people to put up, and still give himself, Rachel, and Janelle plenty of time to decide who to throw their support behind.
As it stands now, Howie better hope James doesn’t win the Veto. If James wins, I predict that he is going to bargain with the Friendship to save Sarah, but since he has said several times he might play better if she wasn’t in the game, he will probably try and join their side either way. I am not sure if Howie can save himself in this one, as James is going to double-cross him the first chance he gets. If Howie’s time as HOH is any indication of his performance as a meteorologist, then I predict he goes back to stripping really soon.
Did Howie make the right choice? Who would you nominate if James or Sarah win the veto?