Big Brother: Who Wants Cake?

Big Brother

By Schoonie | Wednesday, August 6, 2008 | 9:45 am | 35 Comments

Happy Birthday, Keesha!After the nomination ceremony, we color in on Jessie’s bitchface, from which he is bitching (out of his face) about the nominations, telling us that he thinks it’s “an honor” to be nominated three times in four weeks. Yeah, it’s just like you’ve won the Nobel Prize for Douchebaggery. You’re like the Jane Goodall of douchebags. April tells us that her target is actually Memphis, and what’s with these people refusing to evict Jessie? Why would anyone think Memphis is a threat? What, is his moustache going to walk off his face and stab you to death in the dark of night? She tells us that her alliance wants Jessie out, but that’s too damn bad because she gets to make the decisions. I realize that these people have just been doing whatever the HOH wants for the last few weeks, but don’t they know that they have a vote and they can make their own choices? I can’t believe all these people are just doing what one person wants.

Dan goes to get his America’s Player task, which instructs him to hug someone for ten seconds. First of all, I hate Debby from Ohio or whoever the hell it was that came up with this task. You can’t think of a single thing better than this? I hope you wander onto one of Ohio’s many giant boring stretches of highway. Anyway, Dan is not happy about having to hug Jessie. He comes up with a rather genius method of pretending to have a freakout about his girlfriend outside the house and bonding with Jessie that way, since he has one too. Jessie falls for it hook, line and sinker and is all up in Dan’s face trying to comfort him in the most ridiculously intense way possible. As he and Jessie hug, the editors put a convenient little clock at the bottom like it’s The Price is Right or something. The beautiful part is, since Jessie and Dan’s homoerotic hug goes long, they just keep counting the seconds like “Dude, you guys can let go anytime.” Dan looks over Jessie’s shoulder and mugs for the camera. After Jessie leaves, Dan asks him to close the door so he can compose himself and then celebrates his victory. Way to go, you completed the lamest task ever! Next week: Dan has to do ten jumping jacks.

Dan violates the five second rule

After picking players for the veto competition (Michelle, Libra, and Jerry are chosen to play with April, Jessie and Memphis), April sits up in the HOH room with her crew to talk about the veto competition. Libra makes the very valid point that the veto competition could be anything, so they need to take the fact that Jerry is competing very seriously. Well, looks like someone has changed her tune about the whole “old people competing” deal. April is like “Yeah, if it’s a nose picking competition!” and: nice one, April. What’s next, telling him your dad can beat up his dad?

Anyway, Libra takes offense to this for some reason, and starts going off about how no one in the house respects her or thinks she can do well in competitions. That’s a nice slice of poetic justice, right there. Anyway, Libra works herself into a big tizzy and starts going off on all of them, to the point that she gets up and leaves the room acting all offended. I literally have no idea what just went on there. First of all, it’s not like Libra has done well in any competitions, she has sucked. Secondly, she’s the one bitching at everyone about uneven teams and old people and all that all the time, so maybe she should relax a bit. April looks devastated after Libra leaves, and then calls her a bitch when it’s just her and Ollie in the room. Meanwhile, Libra has retired to her now customary position in bed under the covers in the sixties room, and she bitches to Keesha about how mean that whole thing was. Since Keesha will take any opportunity to take April down a peg, Keesha backs up Libra even though she kind of hates them both, saying that she thinks April never trusts any of them.

“Here, let me show you how to do the hustle.”

Outside, Jessie is laying down for his “fourth of fifth nap of the day”. He’s like a hummingbird! He ends up overhearing all the shit talking going on in the other room, even though overhearing one of those three talking badly about the other two is about as easy as catching herpes from the Big Brother toilet seat. He then goes upstairs to April and relays the whole thing to her, with extra “details” that didn’t really happen. I’m pretty sure at one point he tells April that Libra admitted that she was responsible for the Iraq war.

Because April is so eager to turn on Libra and Keesha, she swallows absolutely everything Jessie says without questioning a word. Ridiculous, especially considering that she just put him up. She tells Ollie that she’s going to go downstairs and confront the two of them about it. Turns out April’s version of “confronting” involves being a complete coward, being non-specific about who said what, sitting on the bed with crossed arms and being elusive, and just generally being completely spineless. What a badass she is! She’s obviously so intimidated by these two that she has no idea what to do. I have to tell you, after watching some of the Showtime show, that I agree with Keesha: April is completely, utterly fake the entire time. She is this very specific type of annoying, like that girl in high school who wasn’t actually cool, she just repeated stuff she had heard other, cooler kids say in the past in hopes that this would get her accepted.

Anyway, Keesha and Libra are not having it from April. Libra is like “Fine, who do we need to talk to? Let’s go fix this shit right now.” Because April is looking for a reason to screw them both over, she doesn’t tell them it was Jessie. Keesha sits behind April trying not to get mad, eventually storming out of the 60s room in a huff and calling April a bitch about three hundred times in front of Michelle and Renny in the kitchen. Keesha then returns to the 60s room where Libra and April are still fighting, and after April asks her not to cuss at her, she utters my favorite quote of the entire fight: “Listen, April, I’m not cussing, but I fucking said it time and time again!” Priceless.

At this point, April gives up the ghost that Jessie was the one who started all this, causing Keesha to immediately leave the room and go get Jessie, because Keesha is awesome. Meanwhile, Memphis is in the living room looking into the ceiling camera and laughing. “See America, this is why there’s all 30 year old women in this house, because they’re all crazy!” Are all 30 year old women crazy? Wait, forget I said that. So Jerry comes in and tattles on Memphis because he is an old jort wearing bore, and Renny then gets angry at him for interrupting her and flips out at him, leaving. So while Renny and Jerry are screaming at each other and Keesha, April and Libra are screaming at each other, Memphis does the most awesome thing in this episode when he walks in and just says “There’s birthday cake in the kitchen, everyone” like absolutely nothing is out of the ordinary. Man, that single comment almost made up for all that facial hair.

Wait, so by cake, he means this?

And then, all of a sudden, it’s time for Keesha’s birthday. Best. Birthday. EVER. Keesha keeps waiting for everyone to show up and sing to her, but half the house is too busy arguing about the Gross National Product of Guam or whatever the hell they’ve gotten to talking about by this point. Libra, April and Jessie, who are still in the other room bickering at each other. For those of you keeping track, this fight has now spanned two commercial breaks. Jessie stands there pretending like he didn’t do anything wrong like he always does, which just pisses Libra off more, until they’re just screaming at each other about I have no idea what. I think this is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever recapped. How the hell do you even try to make sense out of this? And yet, I love it.

So Libra finally comes out and the whole house sings “Happy Birthday” to Keesha, and the whole thing is awkward and awesome, like the house has suddenly become a Wes Anderson movie starring the cast of Arrested Development. After the singing is over, Libra is awesomely like “Anyone want cake?” in the most aggressive way possible, like she’s the villain from Saw and the cake has razorblades inside it that you can only eat around if you decode a secret message written on the walls.

“My birthday was better last year, and I spent that one in Ohio.”

And then, just when it appears that everyone has achieved dÃ©tente through the magic of cake, the fight starts again. Libra apologizes for yelling, and then Jessie makes a dick move by apologizing for “being honest about what happened” which he was not, but: it’s Jessie, so whatever. Keesha ends up giving him the middle finger and yelling “fuck you” at him over and over again. I know I’ve already used the pic, but it is too good:

Anyway, Keesha and Libra back their way into their cave in the 60′s room, yelling at Jessie the entire time while he pretends to be innocent. The whole thing culminates with Libra telling Memphis that “Every day is a new day, buddy!” implying that they’ll try to get rid of Jessie, which I hope to God they do.

Man, this season is awesome. Can someone please tell me what the hell just happened?

Back from the commercial, it’s time for the veto competition. It’s a hockey setup, and the players are aiming for the center of a net. The person farthest from the center will be knocked out in each round, and they’re also doing the fun Yankee Swap thing they do every year now, except in this case you don’t pick a random box, the producers have actually pre-ordered the stuff by giving you the pretense of a trophy for each place in the game.

Anyway, Memphis gets knocked out first, and the 6th place prize is the veto. Excellent work, Grodner. Cackle to yourself high atop your perch. Michelle gets knocked out in the next round, and the 5th place prize is a Hawaiian vacation, which Michelle is very excited about. She elects to keep the vacation, so Memphis still has the veto. Jessie gets knocked out next (after a now requisite DR about how the competition is lame because he didn’t win an his “back is too big”), and his prize is a “slop surprise” about which Renny’s instructions are very mysterious. Jessie elects to swap the slop card with Memphis, so now Jessie has the veto after three rounds.

Half referee, half librarian, all hot

April gets third place, and her price is 10 grand, but it’s doled out in these little gold bars that April can use at any point throughout the game to bribe people or get what she wants or whatever. She elects to keep the gold bars instead of swapping them for the veto. She tells us that it’s because she feels like she’s already done her part for her alliance instead of telling us the real reason, which is that it benefits her to be able to bribe people. The final round is Libra against Jerry, and Libra wins by nailing the center. Jerry’s 2nd place prize is a letter from home. Jerry does a very smart thing, looking at April and offering to split her 10 grand three ways (with Libra being the 3rd person) if he takes the veto. April quickly agrees, and Jerry swaps his letter from home for Jessie’s veto. Libra’s 1st place prize is the infamous red unitard, meaning that she obviously is going to have to screw someone, because why would your prize be to wear something that Sheila has worn? Even more crazy might rub off on you, and for some of these people that could be near disastrous.

Libra, already the proud owner of 3 grand from April, elects to trade her unitard for Michelle’s Hawaiian vacation. Michelle gets all pissed about it, completing her transformation into Amber by crying for the second time in two episodes. Memphis’ slop surprise is that he gets a one week slop pass, redeemable at any point, but he also has to put someone else on slop right then. Without even hesitating, Memphis is like “Jerry, duh”. I love that these two hate each other so unabashedly. It’s really interesting socially, how Memphis and Jerry deal with their dislike for each other so directly, but Keesha, Libra and April are more secretive about it. I’m not making any generalizations about gender roles or anything, but it’s interesting, is all.

Soon, she’ll be ready to try out for ANTM

After the veto, Michelle throws a giant tantrum about having to wear the unitard. She tells Jessie that she’s going to leave the house over and over again, telling us in confessional that Libra is a terrible mother because she chose the Hawaiian vacation over a letter from her kids. Yeah, I’m sure five month old twins and a four year old would really have a lot of illuminating things to say. You know, if they could write legibly.

I don’t understand why Michelle is so angry. If she wanted a better prize, she could have, I don’t know, done better than fifth in the competition. Michelle then tells Jessie that she’s “not here to be made a fool out of”. Well, you could start by avoiding ending your sentences with a preposition. Scratch that, you could avoid that by not throwing a tantrum on national television. Also: you’re on Big Brother. What, did you think that you’d be discussing Tolstoy all day? After she changes into the unitard in the shower, she fixes her hair and throws a pity party for herself, talking about how she “always gets screwed” and how this is the story of her life or whatever, cementing my hate for her. Jessie tries to comfort her in the dark as inspiring music plays, but since I don’t really care for either of them, I start making a grocery list instead.

After the commercial, people are already locked down in the backyard while Jerry prepares for the veto meeting. Well, I guess there wasn’t much intrigue regarding whether the veto would be used. At the ceremony, Jessie tells Jerry nothing of interest. Memphis tells Jerry not to take him off because they don’t like each other. Jerry then immediately decides not to use the veto. We were not kept in suspense there, even a little. Usually this show at least makes a cursory effort at keeping us wondering.

“Beg, beg, beg my jorts for sanctuary!”

Either way, I really hope Jessie goes home on Thursday.

Comments (35)
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About Schoonie

Like most people in America, Schoonie watches entirely too much reality television. Unlike most people, Schoonie gets to share his opinions with the world, which is pretty rad. Currently living in Chicago, Schoonie's been with Tvgasm since 2006. He spends his free time writing Survivor fan fiction (Letters to Penthouse, all featuring Rupert!) , playing with his cover band, and playing with his other cover band. Also, this one time, Lisi fell.

35 Comments

1

suckitbitches

Posted August 6, 2008 at 10:17 am

I hope Jessie stays if only to keep stirring up shit in the house. It was pretty funny. And also, cause I’ve learned so much about how distorting your body with steroids actually harms your competive skills. Anyone at the Olympics taking notes from Jessie’s pearls of wisdom?
2

sowhat1234

Posted August 6, 2008 at 10:23 am

Awesome Recap Schoon…don’t tell fozzie and Flip but….you’re my favorite recapper! lol yink yink!

What did Jesse expect when he went back to April with this information? That the three stooges would turn on eachother? Libra, Keesha and April have this sickenning love/hate relationship and regardless of how the ship goes, they will always stick together; hence why there’s been these ridiculous fights, yet, no breaking alliance.

And in regards to Libra… while I don’t support her game, people have to stop using the bad mother excuse. There are countless fathers who leave their children for extended period of times but the assumption is that the mother is more than capable of taking care of her kids…why isn’t this same theory applicable to man. Her husband is there! He can very well take care of HIS children!

Lastly in regards to Michelle…what the hell did she expect? unitaaawwwwwwwwawd!!!!
3

Fayellis1

Posted August 6, 2008 at 10:44 am

Umm, let me make sure I have my facts right. Michelle (big wall of hair, face like a frying pan) was crying last week like she had just found out the man who raised her was not her father because she wanted a letter from home so bad. Instead, she is quite satisfied with a trip to Hawaii where upon her arrival, the state would probably agree to leave the union because non-islanders are such, well, there are such Michelles. Anyway, when Libra takes the trip instead of a letter from 5 MONTH OLD TWINS and a 4 YEAR OLD which would basically read “GACK, POOP, SPIT, NO TEETH, POPEYE” she is a bad mother?! Because she left her kids?!? Wow, I had no idea I knew so many skank slut whores who should have their kids taken away. Michelle is the new Jessie
4

Scarlet

Posted August 6, 2008 at 11:35 am

My favorite line from this episode:

Michelle: I’m leaving the house because I didn’t come here to be made a fool out of
Jessie: Come on, Michelle! You’re playing for $500,000. You could buy Hawaii!!
5

DP Hooker

Posted August 6, 2008 at 11:46 am

I too love the Memphis-Jerry hatred. It makes me laugh out loud just thinking about the mixologist and the old war veteran going back and forth sniping at each other, and how fast Memphis picked him for slop. I rewound to watch it again. And then Jerry was like “I KNEW it!”

So, i guess any competition that Jessie is in and doesn’t win will be lame, or bogus, or he’ll have some other excuse. i mean…the hockey was like mini-golf and he doesn’t play golf because his back is too big. That is priceless right there.

I don’t understand why the HOH thinks they have all the power as to who gets voted out. April has no power now. I am assuming, if they voted as they wanted, Libra, Keesha and Renny would vote for Jessie. Michelle and Ollie (because of April) would vote for Memphis. Jerry I think would vote for Memphis based on their feud but who knows. So Dan would be the wildcard, and from how things have gone with the AP voting, I’m assuming America would vote Jessie out. But that is if they thought for themselves.

Great recap – great episode.
6

ericantaki

Posted August 6, 2008 at 12:20 pm

I’m not saying Libra is a bad mother…but she made a bad choice. She already had won $3,333.33 She should have picked the letter from home so she can find out how her husband and 3 children are doing, instead of taking a trip for 2 to Hawaii — as she will be leaving her children behind, again…

Plus, getting a chance for America to see Jessie in a unitard would have been hilarious.

Still want Keesha to win it all…
7

nerrawllehctim

Posted August 6, 2008 at 12:38 pm

America, I will forgive you for the BB8 finale if you get Dan to evict Jessie. Name whatever you want for reward. Just make sure it can be delivered.
8

serjen

Posted August 6, 2008 at 12:38 pm

oh please, I’d totally take the trip to Hawaii (and I have 2 kids). She can bring the kids with her. Children under two fly free so she’d only have to get a ticket for her 4 year old. Cheap family vacation to Hawaii! So worth it.
9

Fayellis1

Posted August 6, 2008 at 12:40 pm

Well, if we are voting on bad decisions (which we are not, I think) I’m going with “leaving Parkinson Diseased wife to compete in a reality show” Statically, Libra’s kids have a lifetime with her and to have memories, the younger ones probably don’t know she is gone. Jerry made it sound like his wife had one foot int he grave and the other on a banana peel(unfortunate and sad) I’m just saying is all. I see Dan or Ollie taking it all. Those 2 are not even on anyone’s radar as long as Jessie, Memphis, Libra, and April are in the that house.
10

juddfan

Posted August 6, 2008 at 12:45 pm

So far, both blondes have exhibited some pretty tough game play, it’s nice that they are at least not cowering . . . but if I was in that house, I wouldn’t repeat a thing I’d heard . . ugh!

I do like that April and Libra picked up on AP in two seconds!!! And then April even granted their wish, perhaps even Jessie caught wind, hence that tender hug, which I admit, made me like Dan more–it was a bit fun, and the story wasn’t all hyped up, which I also liked! Poor Libra though, hopefully she’ll learn about herself and screaming when she gets out, it truly was over the top, and even I was thinking shut the F up!!!! But still, MOST AWESOME BDAY EVER!!!!!

Thanks for the recap Schoon!!!
11

thisismarty

Posted August 6, 2008 at 12:47 pm

My birthday was better last year, and I spent that one in Ohio.”
WHATS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN SCHOON???

I think i’m a skank slut whore because i would of taken that trip in a heart beat..F my kids i need a vacation!! HOLLA!

BEST EPISODE EVER….AHHHH MICHELLE..so classy!
12

Fayellis1

Posted August 6, 2008 at 12:50 pm

And while I still have my soapbox out, why is no one on the message board for the Mole telling Mark what a bad decision he made to leave his PREGNANT WIFE alone with 3 other children while he competed on a reality show? Or Paul leaving his 2 year old daughter and wife alone to compete on a reality show? Like Libra or not, that bad mother BULL*#&^ is uncalled for and I hope to God it comes back to bite Michelle in that cup sized giggly almost to the back of her knees muffin top ass
13

MargotTenenbaum

Posted August 6, 2008 at 1:00 pm

Fayellis:

I heart you.

You said everything I wanted to say (complete with a Seinfeld reference) and you were a million times snarkier than I could ever be.

Thank you!

P.S.Craig is the mole!
14

Fayellis1

Posted August 6, 2008 at 1:09 pm

MargotTenenbaum, life would not be complete w/o one Seinfeld reference a day (SERENITY NOW) And I too, think Craig (and he reminds me of Newman so I sorta heart him)
15

blazergirl

Posted August 6, 2008 at 1:58 pm

I wanted so badly for Libra to trade for the letter from home, because that would have put Jesse in the unitard! And how fantastically horrific would that have been?

Also, I loved Jessie, after trying to comfort Michelle about wearing the unitard, said “well your ass looks great in it.” Ah Jessie…
16

JasonR

Posted August 6, 2008 at 2:09 pm

Schoon, great recap. The fighting and awkward birthday celebration over that lame big cookie that looked like it had been decorated by a kindergartener was absolutely priceless.

I love that Michelle got stuck in the unitahd. Jesse would have been almost as happy to be in the unitard for a week as Jen was last summer. Definitely wouldn’t have been a punishment for him.

I agree with Fayellis1 (hilarious and insightful analysis btw), that Ollie and Dan are sitting pretty right now. Everyone makes fun of Dan’s strategy, but meanwhile a guy with absolutely no allies is just coasting along. Loved the shots of him laying on the couch reading while hell was breaking out all over the house . . .LOL.
17

juddfan

Posted August 6, 2008 at 2:33 pm

Too funny about panface Fayellis, and like Schoon said, they signed up for a reality show with cameras on 24/7 Did she think she’d never have to do something like a unitard–I’d have showered in it tho, or laundered it if I could . . . and call me crazy, but did she not up the drama just to get Jessie nearer to her . . .

Dan does seem to be in a good spot, coz eventually sides will be picked and the floaters like Renny, Dan and Jerry will be bargained for and back in the game.

It is funny when Renny yells, I think she was a hawk in a previous life!
18

Dirty Sanchez

Posted August 6, 2008 at 4:25 pm

“A unitahhhhd! Waaaah!” I was cracking up at her meltdown, especially with the “story of my life” line thrown in there. Hey, anyone want to buy a house from the crazy bitch in a red unitahhhhd? Maybe she can wear it when she holds open houses.

Squawk Squawk! Totally with you on Renny sounding like a hawk when she yells.
19

Fayellis1

Posted August 6, 2008 at 6:21 pm

With Michelle’s voice, face, teacup booty, hair, and fondness for Jessie, she is most embarrassed by the unitard?!?!?
UMMMM, O-KAY!
She is screaming for one of my foster mother’s pep talks “you are not the prettiest, or the smartest, your hair looks like Jesus can take a joke and God knows I won’t take you out in public after you have eaten corn, but you always wear the cutest shoes and that has to count for something!”
20

trink621

Posted August 6, 2008 at 7:45 pm

Scarlet, I’m so glad you mentioned the line Jessie gave Michelle about buying Hawaii. That was HI-larious!!! I nearly choked on my popcorn!

I think I’d like to hire the houseguests to sing a dirge at my funeral. They’re good.

Dan’s look into the camera while hugging Jessie was priceless. It would have been funnier had he counted out his 10 seconds on his hands though. : )

Jerry is worse than a kindergartner when it comes to tattling. Why mention what Memphis said about the 30 year olds fighting? Memphis said it in jest…it was funny even. Colonel Tattler has to make a big deal out of EVERYthing.
21

duckncvr

Posted August 6, 2008 at 8:12 pm

I just don’t get Jerry’s splitting up April’s money as a good plan?? For april, at least. I’d be all “No way.” And why then didn’t Libra take the veto? I just don’t get it..!! didnt’ want to rock the boat? But.. but.. she knew she watned Jessie out at that point..!?!? Someone, please, help me understand!
22

J-Mo

Posted August 7, 2008 at 8:36 am

This one time, when I was having a really bad year and I was totally poor, I celebrated my birthday all by myself with a giant cookie that I decorated with Easy-Cheese and spelled out my full name (including middle name) in cursive. Then I plunked a votive candle in the middle of it and hugged myself and sang “Happy Birthday to meeee…” and then I ate the cookie and cried myself to sleep.

That cookie last night was sadder than the one I had.

love, J-Mo
23

Fayellis1

Posted August 7, 2008 at 8:40 am

duckncvr

Jesse had the VETO but April still had Jerry and Libra in play plus 10,000. She did exactly what she thought should get Memphis booted from the game, took the luxury prize thinking Jerry or Libra would take the veto. Well, Jerry was right to make a deal with April for half the money cause he could have just let Jesse keep the VETO. I don’t understand why he wanted to give Libra some of the money though because no matter what was in Libra’s trophy, the plan should have been for her to trade whatever it was for the VETO. So, in essesence, Jerry’s deal made perfect sense, just not the part about giving Libra 1/3 of the money. I’m Fayellis1 and I approved this message
24

sowhat1234

Posted August 7, 2008 at 10:46 am

To Fayellis1

Actually it made sense for Jerry to give Libra part of the cash because than he wouldn’t be stuck with the Unitard in case she stole the veto from him
25

Fayellis1

Posted August 7, 2008 at 11:12 am

For 5,000 bucks, I would have worn the unitard :0)!
26

jenday

Posted August 7, 2008 at 12:37 pm

Wow. I had an actual physical reaction to this episode. I was actually feeling anxious by the end with all of the yelling.

Never before on any show, has one episode cause my complete hatred for so many people.

Jerry: I kind of liked you because you were the underdog. However, you tattle just like a little kid.

Michelle: Dear Lord. Classy, with the whole skank slut bitch (or whatever). Judging Libra as a mother. She is just extremely embarassed to wear it because she is insecure with her body.

April: What…A….Bitch. The way she came in there to confront Keesha and Libra. All high and mighty, telling Keesha that she would get to her later. When she gets going her eyes just look crazy!

Memphis: The whole 30 year old woman comment…Dude, aren’t you the one that flipped out on a 100 year old great grandpa for calling you a womanizer. Whatever…hypocrite.

Jessie: Still a total douchebag. I apologize for being honest. Whatever. I do have to give you props for making me laugh. I guess I didn’t do well because hockey is like golf, and I’ve never golfed bc my back is too big. Always and excuse.

Keesha, Olie, Dan, Libra, Renny are all hanging on by a thread!
27

erraticdawnzie

Posted August 7, 2008 at 12:48 pm

As a mother of 15 month old with a really awesome husband, I can only say that I would have taken the Hawaii vacation, too. Discussed it with my hubby and he agreed.

Michelle is icky and I can’t feel sorry for someone who constantly feels sorry for themselves. In 5th place in a competition, do you really expect to win a vacation?
28

JustJesse

Posted August 7, 2008 at 3:42 pm

Just so you know, April’s money was NOT split three ways. At least not equally anyways. She kept 5 of those dumb gold bars for herself, gave 4 to Jerry in order to solidify him not using the Veto, and gave 1 to Libra, who had already won the vacation.
29

loiseau_chante

Posted August 7, 2008 at 6:17 pm

I think Libra taking the vacation was the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. First of all, it puts a target on her back. Michelle is so after her now. Secondly, I’m sorry but, for her to not even want to know what’s going on with her kids, to not even want something resembling communication with them is ridiculous. She just couldn’t care less about them, that’s obvious. I say this as a mother of a one year old, and I know not all mothers are alike, so some of you may hate me for hating her (to whoever was writing up there that other reality contestants are leaving their young children…i don’t care if they’re male or female, leaving infants is disgusting. And leaving a pregnant woman alone with three children! I want to personally strangle that guy)

I thought Michelle’s tantrum, however, was hilarious and almost worth all of this. I am always so surprised when people get attached to their prizes in these games. Like Sheila who was so surprised that Ryan took her money. Hello! People are greedy!
30

bentley1101

Posted August 7, 2008 at 8:58 pm

I saw absolutely no problem with Libra taking the trip over a letter from home. Like many people have pointed out, it’s not like the kids can write, and the fact that she has confidence in her husband taking care of her kids, with the help of her mother, says that they’re well adjusted kids. Like someone else said, take the kids with you on the trip, or enjoy a romantic vacation, and you’ve created memories as a family. Libra is in a good position and chances are at some point she’ll win an HOH, at which time, they get a letter from home anyway. It’s not like you get a vacation as a prize every week.

I about died when April won the 10,000. First of all she’s the one that complains that Memphis won a car (get over it). But also she has told the other houseguests that she makes 126,000 a year at her job.
31

amberpdidit

Posted August 7, 2008 at 9:02 pm

Scarlet-that was my favorite line too! Who knew Hawaii was such a bargain? You think Manhattan is still~$24?

Does Dan look like B.J. Novack from the office? I guess he got bored during the writer strike.
32

schoonie

Posted August 7, 2008 at 9:59 pm

There are opportunities to get a letter every week if you can win HOH. There’s only one opportunity for a Hawaiian vacation. If what she said on the show tonight is true and that her husband was planning on a trip for them afterwards, why not take the free one? And it doesn’t matter whether Libra has a vacation or a letter from home, because: she still sucks.

And I hate to repeat myself, but if Michelle had wanted to keep the vacation, she could have, I don’t know, DONE BETTER IN THE COMPETITON. Unitard looks good on you, Loser McFifthPlace.
33

erraticdawn

Posted August 8, 2008 at 8:18 am

>And I hate to repeat myself, but if Michelle had wanted to keep the vacation, she could have, I don’t know, DONE BETTER IN THE COMPETITON. Unitard looks good on you, Loser McFifthPlace.

This is why I like you. I screamed this (or at least a close version) at the tv during the episode, and several times yesterday while discussing the episode. =)
34

DeAnne1233

Posted August 9, 2008 at 4:57 am

Hi all. Great recap.

Couple of things though. Maybe I missed it but what did Jessie douchfag lie about or even add to the story when he went upstairs to tell Apreal and Holly what Liberal and Kieche were gabbing about?

Libra went on and on and on about how f-ed up it was of April to blow her off as if she couldn’t win anything and Keesha went on and on about how f-ed up it was that miss hignmighty thought she could tell her who she could talk to and who she couldn’t because if she wanted to talk to Memphis.. she’s damn well gonna do it…. too infinity and beyond. So in Jessie’s effort to add 2 + 2, he deduced that since Keesha was pissed off about being looked down on for talking to Steven… the same thing must have happened because she was talking to Memphis. The basic message Jessie relayed was that Libra was pissed off and badmouthing April so Keesha jumped on the bandwagon to do a little bashin… and here’s what Keesha said… (vomit). Jesse said the name Steven because it related to what Keesha was pissed off about as it lead to Memphis. As far as I saw, he didn’t even get the chance to tell them much of anything that Lib-brah said.

At this point, April and Ollie should have been smart enough to step back and go… wait a minute, only two people heard April when she said that she felt disrespected by Keesha immediately swooning with Memphis knowing they are kicking him out next… and if Keesha is over there telling him everything to betray their alliance then Keesha will find her snotty butt on the block next. Those two people were Ollie and Renny. Which means for Keesha to now know, Renny must have told her because they have an alliance of their own. Maybe I missed the part where this info was revealed to the HG including Jessie who would not have known anything about it at all had it not been for overhearing the ladies whispering gabfest. Where was the call out on that?

I watched as Libra and Keesha dug themselves a hole, latched on to several HG’s ankles in an effort to pull them down along side them, then try to claw their way out only to sink back down further as they gave the finger to anyone who in that moment saw them as they really were.

The truth that they could only scoff at, was when they tried to call Jessie out on the play by play… Jessie, you, the firestarter just had to go upstairs and start some shit – right. Then you had to go tell April that we were talkin shit about her – right. Scoff, The End. Dayum, dem ho’s is buttugly when they are backed into a corner.

Personally I was hoping that bitchfest was enough to get all of Keesha’s ‘I can’t stand the frigging bitch to be honest with ya’s’ out of her system once and for all. But then again she says that about any bitch who is not in the room with her at the time.

You’d think at some point one of them would have the cahones to say… you know what.. I know I gave you my word and all, but I’ve changed my mind, I don’t really like you so our alliance is over, I’m gonna vote for who I want out of the house. Wouldn’t that be less “fake” Keesha honey? Apparently not though since this is ‘man I hate the fact that the camera adds 10 pounds so I’m gonna head off to saran wrap myself and sit in the sauna for an hour’ – Keesha’s second ‘I hate that Barbie bitch April so stop comparing us two blondes’ rant which in turn leads to some fake ass kissing until she gets in another room alone with someone who will listen to her bitch about all the fake ass kissers in the house.

Meanwhile, Libra wants respect as a fierce competitor as she swears up and down that Jessie is lying about her talking shit? And she says all this with a straight face (although appears to be shocked, offended, arrogant and outraged)?

Then there’s April who feels disrespected when the wind blows the wrong way because her idea of an alliance is that you make one, draw a line in the sand and turn your nose up to anyone who isn’t in the in-crowd as you pick them off and kick them out one by one. No need to socialize with the enemy until the number of house guests get to 6 or less. So they can just talk to the hand cause it’s all been planned by the band.

Are these girls dealing with adolescence and puberty issues on the playground or what?

From my side, this fight could have been easily diffused without going through 4 hours of drama.

Libra, I was told that you have a problem with me. So you talkin shit about me bahind my back?

Yep.

Keesha, I was told that you have a problem with me. So you talkin shit about me behind my back?

Yep.

Renny, I was told that you have a problem with me. So you talkin shit about me behind my back?

Yep.

Alrighty then, now it’s my turn to bring some shit!

Have a seat.

–

Sidenote, do you guys watch the HG when they are left, for one reason or another, by themselves? OMG! Libra is the most fun to watch. She has absolutely no clue what to do without another person around. Her paranonia caused her to constantly follow Keesha around. Heaven forbid a shit talking session goes on without her because if it does, she will be the topic of it. It’s a classic sign of the guilty and untrustworthy.
35

itchy

Posted August 10, 2008 at 10:08 am

Oops, fell a little behind last week, just watched this episode today…anyhoo…

I love how Libra’s face lit up: “Oh boy! Two more weeks away from my kids! For free!”

Probably didn’t matter what destination, she would have taken it.

Hmmm…they say that a group of women will eventually fall into the same cycle. You think? Love how Renny was kind of on the outside of that….until she got the hot flash at Jerry!

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