Big Brother: You Can Semantics All You Want

Big Brother

By Flipit | | 1:50 am | 32 Comments

Tonight on Big Brother, Natalie tells America to suck it, Grodner shoves filler down our throats, and Kevin makes some of the most vile faces ever seen on a human being.

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We open with a blue out. Jordan talks about how shocked she was when she found out Jeff was the magical wizard. Then again, Jordan was shocked that there weren’t 25 quarters in an hour, so take it’s for what it’s worth. Russell was shocked too. So shocked that he developed a giant shock zit.

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Thank you for coming. Have a nice day.



We see the whole magical wizard ceremony all over again. For a second there, it looked like Jessie was going to plea for his safety the old fashioned way. Lap dances.

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Unfortunately, he didn’t strip down to nakedness. Just to his douchey nature.

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Chia may look calm while Jeff puts up Natalie and Jessie in place of her nominations, but here’s how she really feels.

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Her mouth is so big that the editors have to fuzz out the entire lower half of her face. Without that mouth she’s all forehead. If they fuzzed out up to her eyebrows, I would have thought I was looking at Stevie Wonder. With a boob job.

We get to see what happened after Jeff put the sour couple on the block. Chia stays calm and collected and hums “I Just Called To Say I Love You” for awhile, then she starts telling Jeff off in what I’m guessing is her stab at “silent intensity.” Sorry but yawn. She has the intimidation power of a pet rock. That grows grass hair when you pour water onto it.

Natalie yaps about Jeff showing no loyalty, and he calmly answers that she and Jessie were in the lead so it would be stupid for him to leave them safe. Duh. Chia accuses him of being power hungry. Well ain’t that the nut sack calling the elbow ugly. She says that keeping Russell was a bad move and he’s like “uh yeah, for you.” But he’s disloooyal. Chia is more dazed and confused than calm, like she just fell out of a tree. He’s getting annoyed, and when he tells her that she has no power, he sounds like a dad about to hand out a spanking if you don’t calm down in the back of that keahr!

Confusedly, she says if she didn’t have control then he wouldn’t have had any nominations to overthrow. She’s starting to crack. All over the net there have been whisperings about Chia’s nervous breakdown. Bring it on! This is boring. Jeff shrugs and says it’s a game, and Chia gets an evil little girl voice and calmly and freakily mutters “I can play a game….I can win a game! ….There’s no power next week….” She looks like she’s about to start rocking back and forth with drool coming down her chin while giggling hysterically right now. Poor Chima is gonna take days to realize she wasn’t elected president and doesn’t have four years of power. Deluuuuusional!

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This reminds me of that part in The Sixth Sense where Bruce Willis finds out he’s been dead the whole time.

We see Jessie evicted again, and it’s glorious. And then the fun begins.

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WAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!



Natalie tells us what a good, decent person Jessie is. I wish there was more time to ask her for specific examples, but watching her drip snot all over herself is entertaining enough for now. She sobs about how the bad and the ugly are always the ones who win and the good toned muscular people lose even though they’ve got integrity. What is she even talking about? Chia acts like even more of an idiot and says that Jessie’s eviction feels like a family member dying. Her family is so fucking offended right now. Watching her mourn with one boob four inches above the other one is hard. I don’t know who to cry for. Her, Jessie, or the reputation of her boob doctor. Seriously, those things are all over the place.

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Kevin is mortified when Jessie disses him, and doesn’t get why. Uh, cuz you just voted him out? No, it’s because he’s an egomaniacal megalomaniac. True, but I have a feeling it might at least a little bit also be because you voted him out.

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He was a regular Joan of Arc, that one.

Lydia rolls one of her eyes back and the tattoo on her chest detaches from her body and flies away to avenge Jessie.

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She’s crushed you guys. Jessie didn’t just get into her head, he came into her heart. And her palm. If loving him so deeply makes her a bad player, then fine. “I’ll be a bad player!” Oh, NOW you’ll be a bad player? Thanks for the warning. Wouldn’t want to be shocked by your complete lack of game if it just came sneaking up on me.

Last season, we got one homely deranged chick sobbing and snotting and drooling all over herself when Jessie was evicted. Now we have three! This season is really stepping it up. Jeff tells the three sobbers it’s only a game and he doesn’t get why they’re acting like that. Natalie uses her loyalty line again, and Chia says he lied when he said he would vote Russell out. He reminds her that he didn’t technically vote so he didn’t lie. LOL. I like that one. She says “you can semantics if you want”. Without missing a beat, he says “you can semantics!” Then Jordan says nobody should be mean to Jewish people.

Then Michelle wins HOH. Everyone’s a little iffy about that, because no one knows what she’ll do. As Kevin puts it, her win “is the most biggest question mark.” This show makes me think of the movie Nell a lot.

Michelle and Russell are in awe of Jeff’s game play, and he gives an inspirational speech about how you can talk and talk and talk, but if you don’t change things then what’s the point? Then he goes back to studying a cure for cancer, which is his real reason for being on Big Brother.

Meanwhile, Chia and her homely coven (plus Kevin) bemoan the holes in their hearts. Michelle is talking to Russell and Jeff and Jordan, which means she’s aligned with them even after all that horrific abuse Russell hurled at her. Michelle is trying to get on Jeff’s side, not Russell’s. Still, it’s fun to watch Chia cry at Michelle forgetting all that abuse by the big bad terrorist MAN.

Wacky muisc plays as Michelle shows off her HOH room. She’s had a bunch of different hair colors, sometimes all at once. Everyone oohs and ahhs at her pics. I ooohed a lot. Well, ewed.

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Your nose is way smaller as a redhead.

There’s a pic of three guys, and Michelle says that one of them’s her husband.

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Hotness!

Then there’s a closeup.

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….oh.

No one understands why she has a rat, but it’s because they don’t know of her super secret brilliance. She could name the rat Algernon and bring it flowers and they still wouldn’t get it. One thing Jeff does get, though, is that everyone is suddenly kissing her ass and pretending they love rats just to get on her good side. LOL. I want to see the looks on their faces down the line when they find out that she doesn’t love rats, she just does tests on them. Chia is the only one in the room having trouble faking it.

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That high boob’s not fooling anyone, either, girl.

Michelle gets a form letter from her husband that she calls thoughtful, but it’s the same letter everyone gets. Except Chia, of course, cuz her letter was about some horrific disease or something.

Jeff sits outside with Russell worrying that Chia will talk Michelle into putting them both on the block. Russell claims his devotion and then pauses for Jeff to commit to an alliance. Jeff doesn’t, and keeps fretting so Russell says that he would take Jeff off the block even if it left him exposed cuz it’s all about keeping your word and he’ll scratch Jeff’s back as long as he scratches his. Pause. No commitment from Jeff. He starts talking about being in trouble again. Come on, Jeff! Commit! Marry Russell! Didn’t he already learn this lesson with Jessie the first week? He’s come a long way to just make the same mistake and put himself on the outs with a possibly strong ally just so he doesn’t have to lie and backstab later. YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO LIE AND BACKSTAB!

Russell knows that Michelle hates his ass right now, so he appeals to her in a way he thinks she will be able to understand. He wears glasses. Cuz she’s smart. I love that everyone has a pair of glasses to whip out this season as a smart person prop.

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Les sociétés pharmaceutiques sont l’épine dorsale de notre économie, non?

He kinda apologizes for last week, and she says her main problem was that they were supposed to have an agreement but he blabbed her secrets and then berated her. He nods sympathetically like that was someone else. Someone without glasses. He suggests that they are equally at fault. Huh? How so? Cuz all she did was confide in you and then defend herself when you went all roidrageous on her. Michelle giggles and smiles a lot and pees the bed a little cuz he’s even talking to her. She tells us that they’re ok now, but she knows he’s sneaky so she’ll keep her eyes on him. And keep her eyes on him she does.

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The international mouth sign for blowjob had to be blurred out. Hussy!

The homely mourning alliance eats Chinese food and opens Jessie’s bottle of Merlot in remembrance. LOL. Jordan goes outside and rants to Jeff about how annoying it is that they’re such hypocrites and she wants “what’s her name” and her big mouth out of there. I have no idea who she’s talking about.

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Inside, the homelies are toasting to “Mr. Pectacular” with really dirty glasses. I kinda hope there’s a salmonella outbreak.

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And now the mourning party begins. Lydia talks about how special Jessie was and tries to cry. She can’t, so she just scrunches her face for awhile. You’re covered in tatts, your hair looks like crap, you’re wearing enough eyeliner to fill a 99 cent store. The last thing you should be doing right now is making this face.

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Keep that up and you’ll have as many lines on your face as Natalie.

Lydia knows that when she wakes up tomorrow, she’s gonna see everyone but her Jessie. WAAAHHHH! Now Chia’s crying. Poor Jessie didn’t even get a chance to fight! And he was so much fun! And so…big! They cry and wah but never offer any specifics as to why he’s a good person. For once, Kevin and I are on the same page.

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O. M. Geeeeeeeee.

Violin music plays as the girls talk about how grateful Jessie was to be alive and how he never talked bad about anyone. LOL. Kevin reminds us that Jessie put Chia on the block, voted to evict Lydia, and got mad at him for not getting rid of Natalie. This is reasoning, and it has no place here. The girls continue. Chia sobs about how Jessie put her up but really wanted her to stay, and Lydia, with a straight face, says “did you guys know he prayed for us all the time?” BWAAHAHAHAHAHAH. Well, God would have answered, but HE COULDN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK JESSIE WAS SAYING.

Russell sits outside wearing a shirt that says Welcome to Jook City. I had to look Jook up on urbandictionary. There are three meanings. 1. To hook somebody up with someone or something. 2. Type of dance. 3. To stab somebody. Mmmmm, I’m thinking 3? I don’t care. I’m not mad at him for wearing that shirt. I’m mad at him for wearing a shirt. It forces me to concentrate on his zit.

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Less jooking, more Proactiving.

The not homelies sit round the hot tub and talk about what morons the homelies are and how they’re treating Jessie like he’s just been crucified. Inside, Lydia says that she’s always liked Jordan but she hasn’t stood up for what’s right! Natalie doesn’t just blame Jordan, she blames America, dammit! “Thanks America! You’re real standup people!” Real nice, Natalie. I hope she has a town hall meeting and gets her ass whooped by an old lady with a Don’t Mess With Texas t-shirt and a sun visor covered in little kitties. Numerous shots of the girls sobbing. Cut to Chia and Nat trying to cuddle with Jessie while he looks uncomfortable.

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I wonder what Russell’s doing right now.

Next morning, the not homelies are still basking in their glory. Michelle says that she wants Chia out of the house. YAYness. Time for the have/have nots comp!! Meh, who cares? When the hell is Chia gonna lose her shit? We’re halfway through the episode and nothin! WHAT GIVES? The HGs go to the backyard. They will have to slide into goop and then run to a buffet table of casseroles. They have to guess what’s in them and then put them on the corresponding title to win a luxury. The producers flirt with Jeff by spelling casserole the way he pronounces it.

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Russell takes time to remind us how big his wiener is.

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Noted.



While Michelle and Jeff try all the casseroles to match them up (who comes up with this shit?), Natalie starts yapping at Jeff. Without Jessie there to balance her out a bit, she’s turning into Danny DeVito’s character from Taxi at record speed.

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Jeff basically tells her to stfu. Jeff and Jordan are teamed up to swallow and gag together. Aw, love. Jordan thinks she tastes tuna, but tuna’s not even on the board. What is it with idiots and tuna?

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Kevin is teamed with Lydia, and he’s immediately offended by her barking. Don’t be friends with a dog, then. I am offended too. By the fact that he’s not only reinforced every cruel, lispy, pansy ass stereotype of gay people, but that he’s ruined hot pink for me, too.

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Not ok, Mary.

Chia makes little to no effort. She’s still walking around dazedly from the fall from the tree. Nat isn’t much quicker. Chia starts shit with Russell, telling him not to look at her, and he says she’s not good enough to look at. No one argues. They win food for every day but two. You know, I could be reading a book right now. My fear that this might not ever turn into an action packed episode intensifies when we get a segment of Lydia talking in an annoying little girl voice about her stuffed unicorn Gay Yum Yum. She tells Kevin not to be mean to it, and then the Gay sits on it and swallows it into the vortex with a YUM! YUM! The end. If only he could fit Lydia.

Outside, Russell asks Jordan if she likes Jeff and she says she would date him if he lived in Charlotte. She says she’s very young and he’s very old and doesn’t know if it would work out. WHY AM I WATCHING THIS SHIT?

Later, Nat goes up to the HOH and asks her to be honest about who she’s putting up. Then, she tries to talk her into getting rid of evil Russell. Chia is next to come kiss ass, but never quite gets there. Michelle says flat out that Chia won’t be happy with the noms, and Chia warns her that she’s out if she doesn’t get out Russell. She doesn’t yell or get crazy, but she’s emphatic. Chia’s mouth works, and Michelle is now confused about what to do. I knew that the episode after Thursday’s couldn’t be as exciting, but with all the buzz on the net the past couple of days I am completely pissed that it’s this lame. COME ON!! I’ve got some Divine Designs on the DVR. Candice Olsen’s even more of a devious trash talking slut than the lame brains in this cast tonight.

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Rusty nails and Jessie pee.

Time for nominations! Chia says that if Michelle doesn’t put Russell up then she will question her ability to reason. She knows how to reason. Russell keeps showing off his love muscle. Why wouldn’t she want to keep him around?

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Michelle nervously asks the HGs not to take anything personally cuz it’s just a game and they’ve all “made lies”. And that’s the smart one. Jordan, Jeff, Russell, Kevin, and Lydia are safe!! Nat and Chia are on the block! YAYAYAYAYYY!!! Lydia’s the most surprised. She showed up dressed like Aileen Wuornos thinking she was going to be executed.

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Michelle tells Chia that she knows there’s no way Chia will try and take her to the final two and Nat is up just cuz. Nat tells us that she’s a force to be reckoned with. LOL. Announcer guy says to be sure and come back Tuesday to see what happens when someone self destructs and is removed from the game. WTF?!?! NO FAIR!! We all know who it is, and I would have tried to sweet talk Schoonhacker into taking this bs night if I had known this would happen!!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Oh wait. It’s over and now I can watch Candice slut up someone’s house. YAAAYYYYY!!!

Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

32 Comments

  1. 1
    brattygrl
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 2:50 am

    Ratalie = Danny Devito!!! LMAO!! O. M. GEEEE…I can’t stand her!

  2. 2
    NYdiva
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 3:17 am

    This episode was a memorial to Jessie the Body. And may this be the last time he is mentioned…

    I want to talk about this house full of idiots, but I can’t shake the image of Jessie in his exit interviews. Someone must have told him that if you work really really hard on your muscles, you don’t ever have to use your mind. So he learned two big words: “obsolete” and “situational.” He overuses both without actually knowing what they mean. But his misuse of language is not the only cause of his incoherence. His mental laziness extends to his analysis of what went wrong, allowing him to believe that “the game” is only limited to the parts he wanted to play. So the fact that America didn’t want him to have the power is somehow not part of it. The fact that America wanted Jeff to have power doesn’t count either because Jeff played the victim once. Huh?

    America didn’t vote Jessie out. His housemates did. Julie tried to tell him that it was his fault for not playing a social game. Everyone is a vote. All the time. Jessie knew what Jeff was going to do. He just didn’t have the imagination or strategy to change Jeff’s mind. So blame America.

    And now Jessie’s Girls are also defining the game as those few parts they understand. Chima won HOH once, so all else is moot. Forever. She deserves permanent HOH. Voting Jessie off saved Natalie and Lydia, but it was somehow disloyal to them anyway. No wonder they adore Jessie. They’re just as clueless as he is. The whole pack of mental midgets firmly believe that he would have won…. if only he hadn’t been evicted.

  3. 3
    giffordsaz
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 3:30 am

    You can write everyone of the recaps and shouldn’t have to smooze to do it.. you have paid dues buddy.
    And I hope against hope you recap Tuesday because darnit, we deserve it.

    Love your Tuna = Jessica bit.. on the feeds Jeff gave her a rash of s**t because there was NO tuna on any list either. She laughed it off and didn’t pull out a knife as Natlalie would have done.. or used her lips as a weapon as Chima does. Jordan just laughed it off and accepted she is a dunderhead. This is, I predict, an act. In my heart I understand Jordan is a brain surgeon.. and she will live on forever as such.

  4. 4
    Dirty Sanchez
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 5:57 am

    When are they going to let Natalie’s little secret out? Not that she’s 24, but that she has a penis. Seriously, Kevin needs to take her aside and give her some pointers on the art of femininity.

    Most seasons I could care less about the live feeds (whooppee, there’s Ollie blowing a load on April), but I bet there has been some pretty good stuff from this one. The Chia meltdown alone would be worth the price of admission. Hope Grandma Chia isn’t watching BBAD.

  5. 5
    JasonR
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 6:56 am

    “She says “you can semantics if you want”. Without missing a beat, he says “you can semantics!” Then Jordan says nobody should be mean to Jewish people.”

    Thanks for that-LMAO. You rule Flipit.

  6. 6
    Yanksfan24
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 7:09 am

    Ok just how large was that “Jook City” t-shirt on Russell…did he steal it from Ronnie before he left?

  7. 7
    Slumrville slumrville
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 7:20 am

    “Well ain’t that the nut sack calling the elbow ugly.” BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    I was disappointed in this episode, too. With the information already out there, it seems stupid to put it off. Outside of Jessie’s memorial service, there wasn’t much else here. They didn’t even do a great job of setting up Chima’s meltdown. Looks like we’ll just have to wait for Tuesday.

    CBS, if you’re reading, you better deliver the crazy!!!

  8. 8
    schoonie
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 7:45 am

    I cannot WAIT to recap Tuesday’s episode.

  9. 9
    cattyfan
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 8:05 am

    Loved that you included a Flowers For Algernon reference!

    Still baffled as to how exacty Jeff was disloyal to an alliance that DIDN’T INCLUDE HIM!!!

  10. 10
    pappy44
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 8:29 am

    When I saw that screen shot of shera with the blurr on her face, i thought, omg, she must have ran headfirst into the door when she came into the diary room cause her airbags look like they went off…

    I can’t wait for tuesday…the hypocirate (sp?) is gonzo!

  11. 11
    sandman
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 8:48 am

    Tuesday is going to be great. I can’t wait to wach Chima get raped by karma.

  12. 12
    J-Mo J-Mo
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 9:02 am

    Okay, this is how addicted I have become to the show: We busted ass leaving Phoenix on Thursday to get to L.A. on Thursday night before the episode aired (the best episode EVAH) and then we busted ass leaving L.A. yesterday so we could get home last night before the episode aired… and it was a total snooze (and so was “There Goes The Neighborhood” but they’re dressing the humpy host Matt Rogers really gay so I can’t stop watching).

    And as for Ratalie calling out America for not being “stand up people”? I can’t listen to that kind of shit coming from someone who has spent their summer SITTING ON THEIR ASS DOING NOTHING. Jessie is gone because he’s incredibly stupid, not because America is. Well, not in this case, anyhow.

    I’m trying to remember the last time I saw someone as vile as Chia on TV. Oh yes, Shereé and Kim on RHOA. And Michael Chiarello. But right now, for me, she’s topping the list.

    love to you, Flipit, awesome job as always!

    love, J-Mo :)

  13. 13
    soapboxx
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 9:23 am

    Stevie Wonder. With a boob job.
    Don’t Mess With Texas t-shirt and a sun visor covered in little kitties.

    Of course also elbow/nutsack and insult to Jewish all had me rolling.
    I actually liked this episode, loved the violins underscoring the weeping covens reaction to Jessie’s death. LF alert: Jessie is so creepy he had Lydia dress up in Natalie’s ASU hoodie before she blew him, and he jizzed on it. Since Natalie is getting ready to be sent to jury house w/Jessie, Lydia made sure last night to tell Natalie everything including laughing in Natalie’s face about the time when she looked at her ASU hoodie and asked everyone what the white crusty stuff was, knowing Natalie she wore it without washing it. I just hope when Natalie gets her phone call from home her boyfriend tells her to “Go make Jessie a sandwich”. BTW that Jook City T-Shirt was Casey’s that he left behind for Russell, and Russell was wearing it to honor Casey because he thought he was getting evicted too. Way to bite back Schoonie, I love both you and Flipit, you are no Scrappy-Do to Flipit’s Jessie and I want you to know that. Hahaha

  14. 14
    taxgirl
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 9:29 am

    Great recap of a pretty boring episode! During the competition, it seemed they were sliding into the wet stuff just to get wet! Are the producers just pervs?

    This Thursday was supposed to be a double eviction day (or so Julie said last week). If someone (who could it be?) goes on Tuesday – will they change plans or will that person be one of the two? Will there be a vote if only one person is on the block?

    Please tell me they won’t bring Jessie back (he is a logical choice since he has been sequestered)!

  15. 15
    Mr Dangerous
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 10:59 am

    HEY! Nutsacks are very attractive. Elbows not so much.

    I enjoyed the episode. I hope people haven’t gotten to the point where they have to see a houseguest “meltdown” in order for it to be a good episode.

    I’m always surprised at all the Jessie-Hate. Mainly because why spend your life hatin’ somebody on TV? Don’t Jessie-haters have anything better to do with their lives? (Probably not.) Second, all Jessie did was sleep. He was really non-verbal and he seemed to be mainly interested in himself. So what exactly is there to hate about him again?

  16. 16
    lickitysplit
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 11:05 am

    Kevin’s comments about the girls summed it all up. Why didn’t he speak up and point out how stupid they all are? It’s so funny to see how terrible Natalie really is at this game without Jessie.

    Sooo looking forward to Tuesday. CBS’ statements and Chima’s have been conflicting, so it’ll be interesting to see what the story is.

    BTW, isn’t that Jook City shirt the one that Casey always wore??

  17. 17
    pappy44
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 11:41 am

    Jessie didn’t just get into her head, he came into her heart. And her palm.

    omg…you owe me a new monitor…lollerz

  18. 18
    Yanksfan24
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    Thanks soapboxx and lickitysplit…I honestly don’t watch the show *ducks* but I love the recaps so I miss a lot of the nuances from seeing it in person.

  19. 19
    soapboxx
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 1:24 pm

    Mr Dangerous:
    When Jessie got drunk he lost all his “tool-i-ness”. He was warm, funny and self depreciating in his humor. They say you can see a person’s true character when they are either really tired or really drunk, so I think Jessie from Iowa probably really has a good heart. He is very short in person and has that complex, plus he was in special ed in at least 1st and 2nd grades (according to him not because he was “special” but because he caused trouble). I don’t “hate” TV people but I can tell from the show/LFs I wouldn’t want to hang out with Chima! BTW you are always too much Mr. Dangerous, naughty boy!

  20. 20
    tyranahsaurus
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 1:26 pm

    I get shit every week for saying the wrong thing but I’m going to say it…watch out people I’m REALLY gonna say it…

    Ok…hear me out!!!

    Isn’t Chima’s coup d’état strangely similar to her unfortunate accident. I mean in some weird way, someone unexpectedly took away her power and she’s now defenseless.

    I’m going to leave it at that! Let the hate begin…tah tah dum!!!

  21. 21
    pixielated
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    Mr. D, to me, Jessie is kind of like the Dallas Cowboys or the Oakland Raiders. I don’t really hate THEM, it’s just their fans I hate. Not so much now since both teams have had their years of suckage. (By Jessie’s fans I mean Lydia, Natalie, and Chima, not you, Mr. D.)

    Flip, when you mentioned Michelle having a rat, at first I thought you were referring to her husband! Maybe she had a crush on Ronnie because he was so much handsomer!

    Tyrah, way to be all deep and stuff! But wasn’t Chima raped and badly beaten? Not really an accident.

  22. 22
    soap
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    tyranahsaurus:
    Ok here’s your hate e-mail, Chima was raped and beaten by the “Bath Tub Killer” He killed 3 women and raped at least 13. He was put to death in Feb. If she hadn’t bitten his manhood during the rape he may have never gotten caught. She had several facial reconstruction surgeries after the assault. Now put yourself in her place, alone in your dorm, minding your own business, attacked, violated, beaten, and probably would have been killed if she hadn’t fought like hell, ok now compare that to the coup d’etat. They don’t line up. I feel sorry for Chima, some of her rage towards men has to be leftover from that incident. Ok I’ll get off my soapbox.

  23. 23
    trink621
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    I can’t believe you didn’t mention Lydia’s comment when they were all crying about Jessie: “We only got a taste of him.” (or it was something like that). FUN.NY!

  24. 24
    Mr Dangerous
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 4:15 pm

    Thanks Soapboxx and Pixielated! Your responses shed some light on my confusion.

    Having grown up in Iowa I have a soft spot for him, I guess.

  25. 25
    heygirl
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    Natalie? Calling out America? Really? It’s times like these that make me SO excited for people like her to get evicted so they can finally see how douchebaggish they actually looked. (Ronnie knows what I’m talking about.)

  26. 26
    copyhacker
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 7:51 pm

    Wow, I would totally come back early from vacation to recap Tuesday’s show. Great work as always, Flippy. Saw you in the live audience.

  27. 27
    pixielated
    Posted August 17, 2009 at 8:18 pm

    I just got back home from Iowa City, Mr. D! I was there for work.

    I have a soft spot for Jessie, too. He really seems like an OK young guy, just self-absorbed and cocky. Typical in some ways of his age group.

    That’s why I said it was his cabal, not him, that was offensive.

  28. 28
    suckitbitches
    Posted August 18, 2009 at 12:24 pm

    No, no, you’re are mistaken. :)

    Jessie is still offensive in that douchebaggery sort of way.

  29. 29
    pixielated
    Posted August 18, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    I’d still rather have his douchebaggery than Russell’s roid rages (always aimed at women, it seems). That guy pisses me off. If he raged at me like that, he’d have more to worry about than being called a terrorist. (Hey, you gotta sleep, buddy. Just ask John Bobbitt.)

  30. 30
    jennaboa
    Posted August 18, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    Those girls need some serious therapy. Jessie not doing anything wrong? Oi.

    Unrelated, somewhat, but has anyone else noticed that Lydia’s little angel-faced tat on her chest tends to be showing when she goes loco? Look at that last pic: It reminds me of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (movie not radio version), when Zaphod Beeblebrox’s head pops back to reveal a smaller, slightly more crazy head right beneath the first one. Very creepy. Nearly as creepy as Jessie’s wake. Nearly.

    tyranahsaurus: Not a big fan of Ms. Chee-As-In-Cheese but I have to agree w/ soap on this one. Chima had a horrific experience and her rage toward men (or anyone, really) who don’t play by her rules probably stems for that. That said, many of the things she has said and done during this show were out-and-out revolting. You want to speak to young women about empowerment? Then don’t make comments about hoping someone gets their arse raped in jail b/c they repeatedly turned down your sexual advances and call you on your BS. And don’t repeatedly use racial-baiting to stir the pot. Just don’t bloody go there, especially not over something as trivial as a blowjob. That is a level young women shouldn’t need to sink to to get their point across. Even Chima’s grandparents and BFF couldn’t excuse away her behavior. Rape isn’t an excuse to behave like a spoiled brat when things don’t go your way. I have no doubt that Chima is a strong woman, but, Lord, whatever therapy she has had isn’t working. Young women need to be reminded that they are not alone, there are people who are willing to talk to them, and you can move on and have a great life after being raped. They don’t need to pick up the message that being raped will turn you into a bitter, sexually-manipulative, racist shrew by age 34. Grr. It kills me that BB chose to portray such a sensitive subject with all the subtlety of an elephant in roller-skates at the Pottery Barn. Thanks for the soapbox, soap. I’ll climb down now.

  31. 31
    shan
    Posted August 18, 2009 at 8:49 pm

    The shirt Russ was wearing was Casey’s who is from St Pete Fl. Jook City is the Tampa Bay Area

  32. 32
    pixielated
    Posted August 18, 2009 at 11:31 pm

    I’m not comfortable judging the behavior of someone who has had such a traumatic experience (rape and disfigurement leading to extensive surgery). I can’t imagine how such an experience would affect me. However, I will say that Chima appears to need some sort of treatment. I don’t know if people who have trauma like this can ever truly recover; some do, but many suffer the after-effects for years if not decades.

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