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Friday, August 26, 2005
1:41 am
78 Comments
This has been a very trying season of Big Brother. I really love this show, and quite clearly I love to talk about it, but I have never had so much of an emotional investment in a reality show since – well, I guess since Naima won ANTM a few months ago, but I think you get the idea. The last month has been great, with HOH and nominations swinging back and forth every week. Unfortunately, there has always been that creepy feeling in the back of my head. What would happen if my side didn’t win? We got to bring Kaysar back after his eviction, but since Howie was in charge, things have never been the same. My giddiness at the greatness of this season has been tempered by the slow realization that the numbers are skewed in favor of a Friendship win, a scenario I would guess about 82% of America would find a complete disaster.You know what? When times get tough, it is always great when you can count on somebody. This person has to be comforting, this person has to warm, this person has to be funny, this person has to make you feel like you are the luckiest television viewer in the world. Folks, that person is Julie Chen. I think Julie’s internet stardom has pretty much killed off the camel toe, but the absence of such a sight is not enough to make me change the Chennel, errr, channel. If you stick with Julie she always will come through, and tonight was one of those nights.
As we panned in to Julie welcoming us to Big Brother, our immediate reaction was that Julie had just returned to the set after she and Les won the hand jive competition at the sock hop. I have no idea where in the hell Julie found that dress, but I know that there is one more wardrobe coordinator out of a job. I guess it was supposed to be an evening dress, but does a black taffeta poodle skirt seem elegant to you? And how about those straps on the halter? Was it just me or did it look like two huge caterpillars had crawled up Julie’s neck and were about to engulf her head? Or maybe they were going for that HUGE necklace she was wearing. Did some robin mistake the Chelmet for a nest and lay some eggs all over her chest(yes, I know robin eggs are blue, but maybe it was a magical robin)? I have no clue what was going on here, but at least it got me in a good mood to start things off.
But first! We have to have a little update on what has transpired since Tuesday. It’s no coincidence that the time that Beau has been HOH has been some of the dullest moments in the house all season. And the saddest part is that he isn’t quiet and introverted because he is quietly plotting what is going to happen next. From what I have seen, he is a complete idiot, and the only reason he doesn’t open his mouth more is because he’s not sure what to do when there is no 60-year-old schlong for him to take care of. Let’s play a drinking game next time. Every time Beau finishes a sentence, you take a drink! This game is for everybody, even your friends in Alcoholics Anonymous, because Beau is so incompetent, you never have to worry about even having a sip of alcohol.
With nothing that Beau does worth anything, that usually means that the burden of entertainment falls on Howie, and this is once again the case. This time, we have learn that Howie has, wait for it, wait for it…a white ass! It was a tad more Howie than I wanted to see, but Beau is getting sick of all of the women in the house, so he asks Howie to give a little show. He wants him to streak back and forth across the yard a couple of times. Just when we believed that we might be getting to see all of Hurricane Howie, we learned that perhaps Howie isn’t a man whore anymore. He’s not going to take his pants off for nothing; they have to promise him something. They better be stuffing Jacksons down his g-string, at the very least.
Apparently James must have let the Bible out of his sight for a few minutes, because it was in the backyard and Howie wanted everybody to swear that they were going to vote out Rachel. Beau was up for it, and Ivette saw no problem with it, but Maggie wasn’t going to swear on the Bible. You know, she’s too good to swear on the Bible. Actually Maggie, this would be the perfect time to swear on the Bible because you know that Rachel is going home. Why not swear on the Bible, it proves that you can keep a promise? Maggie didn’t see it that way, and how had his opinion as to why, saying “Big Fat Maggie” was a lying sack of garbage. Now that is a put down! None of this, you are pitch black and stark white stuff Beau tried to pull.
God, I really hate Maggie. When oh when are the CBS producers going to do the “getting fat” montage? Notice that whenever the friendship needs a meeting, it seems to take place in the pantry nowadays? Seeing Maggie and Ivette before and after will make my day. For now, I have to listen to their idiotic comments and logic.
We got out first interview with the houseguests, and lo and behold, Julie turns to the side and I see that the back of her dress is see-through mesh. which only makes me further confused about the dress. If it has a mesh back, why the wooly mammoth halter? Julie asks questions and begins with April, asking her how life in the house is without Jennifer. Well, I am sure it was much like the last 75 years that April has lived without Jennifer, so not that bad. Next we have a boring question to Maggie about the kitchen table. Was it surprising to see? Yes! Oh dear, how interesting.
I was surprised at the next question, because it said that there were some questions from internet readers. CBS gave viewers the ability to submit questions from their website, but didn’t really promote it, most likely because they wanted to save themselves from having to delete all of the “Why do you have such a huge ass Maggie?” questions TVgasm readers would have submitted. The first question was to Ivette, and she was asked what celebrity she would want to play her in a movie. There is something in the water because Selma Hayek and Penelope Cruz were mentioned. Ivette wisely said no and suggested Julie D’Amato from the Sopranos. Did she mean Drea DiMatteo? Jamie Lynn Discala? I guess I could see Jamie Lynn Discala, but let me suggest another Latin person to play Ivette that could more easily represent her size – George Lopez. I wish they asked April the casting question, I have always wondered if she would rather have Rue McLanahan or Bea Arthur as her body double. Next, Janelle was asked what she would do with a one-day vacation from Big Brother. Who in the hell came up with these questions? Please tell me that it was none of you.
It was then time for what had the potential to be the most awkward on screen interview ever. Julie Chen vs. Beau. The Robot vs. the Ho-bot, an EPIC battle. We knew that it was going to be so very uninteresting, and Beau was still trying to remember his subject and predicate, and then CBS through us the strangest interview angle EVAR. Usually, it is a shot of the houseguest, then a shot of Julie from the monitor. For some reason, the producers decided to do the houseguest shot from behind Julie, giving us an unusual view of Julie’s statuesque posture. Why was this so very distracting? I think I need help.
Leaving Beau, hopefully never having to worry about hearing him speak again, we went on to talk about our man James. God, I hated him so much early on in the game, but now it seems like it was so long ago. Nowadays, everybody knows what kind of player James is. He is playing both sides, both teams know it, yet neither team wants to do anything about it. He was such a target, it is really amazing how he enabled himself to get even this far in the game. Forget about the winning, just getting to this point is huge. James doesn’t see it that way, and he still carries around that stupid scar of Sarah’s for good luck. Just how duplicitous is James? One minute, he is really ripping April, while Rachel is saying “she sucks royally”, but on the other side, he is ripping Rachel, saying he is so happy they just realized her true nature, while listening to April talk about Rachel saying “She really is a conniving bitch”. We then cut to Janelle discussing going all the way (to the end of the game, you perverts) with James, and she leaves, saying “I respect your honesty”. Yes, you didn’t lie about your job, your relationship, or that time you promised to nominate Howie and Rachel – on the Bible I might add.
Whenever there is a new set of people on the block, we have to have a little bit of face time from the folks back home, and we first get Howie’s parents. You really feel for what these people went through, and they are really proud of their son. Then we got a little look at Rachel’s parents, and I was literally left speechless, mainly because laughing and talking at the same time doesn’t work out so well. And it’s not like they were that funny in what they said, but they had this classical music in the background, just in case you couldn’t tell that there was a difference in personality between the two families. I though they would have some cat eating some fancy feast in the background, or a friendly British chap dropping off a jar of Taster’s Choice.
They interviewed various people, including Howie’s friend Mike, who is a ventriloquist, or should be, considering his lips never move when he talks. But then it went back to Rachel’s parents, and I noticed that her father Bob never looked at the camera, he just stared off to the left like he was waiting for the ice cream truck to come down the street. And it wasn’t just for a few seconds, it was the entire interview. And then we got Howie’s sister Ashley. The best way I can describe Ashley is that if Rachel’s Dad Bob and Janelle had a love child, it would be Ashley. Everybody was happy for their family members and very proud, even Howie’s parents after hearing him berate April and talk about boobies for two months.
With the eviction happening soon, it was time to check in on the houseguests and what they’re saying in the diary room. April is up first, and she talks about how immature Howie is. He is actually the most immature 34 year-old she has ever met. When she was his age, back in 1950, she wasn’t talking about boobies and humping legs and acting like a hurricane. She notes that Rachel is 33 years old and acts her age. Why the fixation on people acting their age? A little insecure perhaps?
As Janelle was talking about how her alliance might crumble if Rachel is out of the house (uh, this just in – your alliance has been crumbling for weeks), and Ivette says Howie had issues, I became really distracted by that background in the diary room. Remember when you were taking your school pictures each year and they gave you the options of what backgrounds to pick? Remember the boring blue one, and then the one where they charged like $10 extra dollars but had those colored lasers in the background that matched your shirt? The diary room is totally taking me back to that time. I never got the lasers, but at least my parents didn’t make me wear a tie.
Soon enough, it was time to find out who was going to be evicted, and it was going to be another live vote. YES! Like always, the nominees were given a chance to make a final plea. Rachel didn’t say very much, but Howie went on and on and on, and Julie had to start with her interrupt laugh to cut him off, because Howie wouldn’t stop. As he was giving his speech, he seemed to pause every five seconds to kiss Rachel, maybe because he knew he was never going to sleep under the same roof as her ever again.
Howie ended soon enough, and it came to the vote. Maggie went first, and I am not sure what is supposed to be flattering for her, but what she was wearing this evening was not flattering. Maggie is not obese, but she does need a little help in a few areas, and a great place to start would have been to do something about her sagging boobs. While she was sitting on the couch, she broke both titty rules. Rule 1 being your stomach shouldn’t extend farther than your boobs, and Rule 2 being your boobs should never be able to rest on your stomach while you are sitting down. And if that wasn’t appetizing enough, we were treated to her playing with her wedgie after she got up. Sesame chicken was not a good choice.
Maggie votes, and Julie is really in top form with the color commentary. Notice the subtlety with how she switches modes from host Julie to analyst Julie. It is quite a spectacle to behold. As Maggie went to sit down and Janelle got up, something strange happened. She got up and said “Sorry guys” and then “Sorry America” and then headed to the door giggling like she knew there would be trouble, but was going to love the trouble anyway. It was like watching that episode of Three’s Company where Jack and Janet have an argument in the kitchen or the bedroom or by the couch, and Mr. Furley knocks on the door so Chrissy has to go and distract him somehow, but she can’t control the ways her arms are flailing in the air. Oh right, that was every episode.
Janelle gave her vote, and after saying she wanted to evict Rachel, we got a little peek-a-boo shot. First Julie shows us the hot box, now Janelle. SUMMER OF SECRETS. As Janelle comes back and April goes up to vote, we hear Janelle says “Well, everybody knows I’m wearing white!”. I guess she must have really given the people on the other couch a show. She was probably laughing because she was wondering what would have happened if she forgot to wear any underwear, like usual.
Rachel had enough votes for eviction after only three people, but Julie assured us we would get to see what everybody thought, which was also to get rid of April. We had a teary goodbye, and Rachel began her interview with Julie. The robot hand was ready for action, and when Julie finally got around to asking her question, Rachel told us what we all wanted to hear. “I truly believe I am sitting here because Howie nominated James and Sarah.” I thought it would feel better when I finally heard somebody say it, but it just made the wound deeper.
The interview went normally, but we learned of another new Chenbot feature. Previously, her head only had a four-way power option, like the seats of a 1993 LeBaron. Up and Down, left and right, that is what we knew from Julie. Now, it has a full 8-way adjustment, and she used it when she interrupted herself in the middle of a question to redirect it to something else. Some programmer was lazy sending the instructions and almost threw her off. Luckily, the new head motions let us knew she was serious and we finished the interview.
As custom, the houseguests had a chance to say something to Rachel on her way out. Howie had very nice things to say, and Janelle was also very gracious. It looked like everybody was going to be fairly civil. Even April said that the only reason April was being voted out was because she was a great competitor. Hopefully, April’s comment will be the last thing in Rachel’s head, and not that image of April calling her a conniving bitch 30 minutes earlier in the episode. But you knew that Ivette was left. Has anybody else noticed how the last messages are from people that really hate the person being evicted? In times past, they would always end with an ally or best friend in the house. This year is much different, and Ivette gives Rachel her last message, saying that her actions were despicable, yada yada, and I hate you and whatnot.
Ivette keeps on talking about Rachel being a sore loser or a poor winner, but other than some faces she made at the dumbest nomination speech of all time, she has not terrorized the house, and didn’t take her eviction personally. And wouldn’t the fact that Ivette leaving a message to a defeated competitor about poor sportsmanship, but talks about nothing but how bad the person is count as poor sportsmanship as well? If your opponent loses and you basically rub it in their face, what does that say about you? Oh, that’s right, you are a huge (literally), hypocritical, sucky bitch.
Before the HOH competition, we got a chance to learn about the next America’s choice. Everybody has been speculating we would get to choose an HOH or evict a houseguest, but it was really much simpler than that. America’s Choice would win a phone call from home. Normally, CBS fixes this so the person with kids gets to talk to them. Nobody has kids this time, so there is no reason for CBS to fix this time around. Therefore, we are asking everybody to vote Janelle. I don’t particularly care what she has to say to Michael, but as the time goes by and it looks like somebody from the Friendship will win, we must do everything in our power to make it known how much people hate the. Vote early and vote often.
The HOH competition had the houseguests answering questions with an answer of “higher” or “lower”. On the first question “How many houseguests are over 6″ tall, is the answer higher or lower than three”, Maggie, Ivette, and Howie(no surprise) were eliminated. This meant that the chances of Janelle winning were pretty good, and the chances of either James or Janelle winning was even better, especially considering old hag April was their competition. James was eliminated after a few more questions, and it came down to Janelle and April for the tiebreaker. My heart must have been beating like Cappy when he sees a hockey jersey. Janelle loves tiebreakers, and the question was how many pucks were in the basket in the hockey game. Janelle loves hockey, so this is going to be good odds. Right? Right!?
Sadly, my heart was broken. April won, which is about as close to a worst-case scenario as you could possibly get. She took a long time to write her answer down, and I Julie said that she needed an answer several times. I wish there was a time limit, because perhaps then Janelle would have won, but the Chenanigans were very low on this competition. I am going to have to endure another week of the friendship, and perhaps the loss of Janelle. It is KILLING me. Calling Maggie and Ivette fat and April old are shallow victories. The Team Kaysar website is no more, but maybe we can spearhead another sort of fund drive. A forums reader suggested we take a full-page ad in the Los Angeles Times on how much we hate the friendship. Wouldn’t that be absolutely beautiful? Public humiliate is always a decent resort for an empty victory.
So, whom will Busto nominate? Is there any scenario where somebody from the friendship does win?
TV Social
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78 Comments
Nooooooooooo not another week of the nerd herd.
P.S. Cool first one.
Quick question, why won’t it be on this saturday?
What the hell did Beau-babble in Rachel’s exit interview? I missed the last episode (but not the recap!!) when Beau began his reign as King of the Asses (a.k.a. When Beau began to speak). So imagine my suprise when I heard him speak last night. And his HOH Chenterview was just as priceless, though I don’t have a f*cking clue what the hell he said. I know know why he’s Ivettes partner, their the real Dumb and Dumber!
And I thought it was also funny to see April bring up the subject of peoples age (i.e. Rachel and Howie in there 30′s). I was waiting for the “when I was their age we didn’t act like that, there was a war going on. We were all working hard to beat the krauts and the Japs!!”.
George Lopez would not only represent Ivette’s size but also her loud mouth.
Is is possible the next twist/surprise is an actual trip outside the house?
Which by the way I want to know when the new season of surprises is really going to start, not one other than the secret partners hasn’t been done in the years past.
I liked the Chenbot’s dress. It reminded me of the fifties when life was easier and safer and…oh wait. I’m a black woman, the fifties wouldn’t be so great for me. Oh well!
The only exciting part of the episode was Janelles flashing us. April winning has turned me off of the show. I don’t watch regular tv with people I don’t like, I don’t want to watch reality tv with people I despise. I simply have to read the recaps here.
Excuse me while I sulk…
It’s time to turn on your young you old cow! If April is smart she’d nominate Ivitch & BeauBitch. Break up that pair cause they’re not taking her with them. Plus it’d help get her back in the good grace of America.
The Chenbott looked Chentastic last night. I must be the only one who loves “every” outfit she wears. The outfit did remind me of Aprils pink swimsuit though. I wonder if they share the same personnal shopper…BeauBitch.
Maybe in one of the two leftover safes, there is a card that says “Whoever holds this card gets to veto the HOH’s two nominations and make their own.”
Oh wouldn’t that be the joy of it all…
The Chenbot interview with Beau seemed to take HOURS, finish a THOUGHT please will you?
I have a question…where did Ivette’s intense hatred of Rachel come from, anyway? I’ve watched from the beginning, I read (and sometimes watch) the live feed recaps, and I can’t see what Rachel did aside from being one of the Sovereign to elicit such feelings.
Aside from, you know, being an adult, cleaning up and cooking for everyone. Man, what a bitch.
#8
I was wondering the same thing. I guess Ivette can’t stand maturity.
I’m embarrassed that Beau and Ivette are most prominent gay faces on network TV right now. Between them, they represent almost every negative stereotype there is about gays and lesbians. Espically Ivette with her angery, bitter, and vile nature. I certainly hope that America doesn’t think we are all like them or that we approve of their behavior. They have certainly made themselves unwelcome in most gay communities and if Ivette ever comes to my Chicago, she’ll get the Cuban slapped right out of her. Is it possible that we could return her to Fidel Castro?
oh, janey! you were so close! did anyone else get the impression that busto the hag-beast was watching to see if janelle wrote down a two-digit number before she wrote down 100?
the situation is now officially dire. there’s a good chance that april will try to backdoor james–the only player left with any chance at all of beating one of the nerd herd–but even if that happens, janelle and howie will have to pull off a miracle for the ages to get to the end. james may try to woo april into turning on one of her own (ivette or maggie would be the best options), but april is a spineless player and would rather lose to one of her ‘teammates’ than risk keeping james or janelle in the game.
you know the season has reached its nadir when the most entertaining thing the editors can come up with is more of howie flirting with beau and taking his clothes off. the chenbot will soon be the season’s last redeeming quality, and even she is a lot less fun without the camel-toes and the plastic six-pack-ring tops. the summer of secrets, sadly, has become the summer of snooooooooze . . .
New drinking game alert: drink whenever someone butchers any variation of the word “Strategy.” It’s guaranteed to get you from Baptist to Catholic in 8.25 minutes.
Beau is a strange one.
Gretchen Massey said it best on HouseCalls when she called him a “word sayer”. He says words… but I don’t think he knows what they mean – or he says them incorrectly – and its never in a complete sentence. GAWD!
And while we’re on it: Why do these people never use the word “strategic”. It is a shorter adjective, and hence they could all get spit it out rather that fumble over strategical and strategically. MORONS!
Doncha like chenbot’s dress how it’s so Stepford wives, yet it’s black?
Of course, not as racy as Janelle’s green outfit + heels.
Howie is a pig, plain and simple.
If there wasn’t any other reason to have the Time Warner DVR other than to record the live show on Thursday’s, it would be worth it.
Julie Chen is the most self serving ‘anchor’ I’ve ever seen on a television show.
I speed through anything she says, which ALWAYS includes her reminding us who she is.
Note to CBS: Replace her, please. Big Brother is about the people ‘IN’ the house, not out of it.
Too funny. I was watching it with Sg-dub and when the panty flash from Janelle came he spootted it immediatly and did a rewind slo mo. THen he showed me pictures from her Playboy pictorial. I love my janey.
That being said I’m done. I can’t watch this anymore. I got physically ill when April won. A week of that shrill nasty bitch and her sycophants. It’s too much to ask.
I think James told Ivette some things to make her hate Rachel. Maybe the “live-feeders” can offer some insight. —And I think the ONLY reason Beau is on the show is Ivette wanted to be on it and the only other person she could convice to join her as a pair was “Dumb-Bo”. That or he was the most articulate of all her Miami mush-mouth friends.
april really only has two obvious options.. to put up howie and janelle and if either of them win the POV, then backdoor james… another option is to put up ivette and beau and then if they win or if april wins she’ll back door james or janelle.. either way i think this is james’ last week in the house.. i hate ivette..
No matter which two April puts up, James is going to play for veto, which means it’s likely April will have to nominate one of the girl scouts when someone gets taken off. At that point there’s a good chance that the fur will fly when she puts up Ivette (unless James can convince her to put up Maggie). Even if she doesn’t get evicted it’ll cause some trouble.
Ivette is insane. Clearly insane. I have the live feeds and Rachel has done nothing to deserve the tirade that she received. Ivette should have her clit sliced in two and then dipped in hot wax.
By the way, LOVE the idea of the full-page ad. But would they be reading the LA Times? Better to put it in People, where everyone they know will see it?
I can’t help but wonder if the HOH competitions are rigged. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it just a little too coincidental that everyone in the house has won HOH exactly one time? You would think that there would be at least ONE repeat winner. Next time it’s clearly going to be either James or Ivette who wins because they’re the only ones left who haven’t yet. This week it happened to be April’s turn. My guess is that Big Brother just wants to be able to play up the HOH room and get to know each houseguest when they’re in a position of power, so they need a new person to win each week to make it interesting.
Other than that, yeah, I’m really bummed that April won. If she had any brains at all, she’d try to break up the last remaining pair, but unfortunately she’s not very strategic, so she’ll probably try to get Howie out just because he threatened to eat her dog.
Also, did anyone notice that when Chenbot asked Rachel about the possibility of hooking with Howie when things are all over, she didn’t outright say no? She was like, “We’ll see what happens…” I wonder if she was just being nice or it Howie really has grown on her.
I liked Chenbot’s dress, but not in this context. It was too fancy for BB6. That shit is cocktail party only.
My heart is broken. I am distraught over a stupid tv show. It isnt fair tvgasm. You brought me here with promises of extreme entertainment (which was delivered for a while) now I can barely drag myself out of bed because I cannot face a nerd herd victory. I really believed there was a chance that CBS would semi ‘fix’ HOH this week to give the Sov3 a fair shot and make AMERICA HAPPY!!! WHy does CBS not care about us??? WHY??!!!!
Vote for Janelle – it is the only way we can make the LAMEST America’s Choice ever count for anything.
Kyle-
REPLACE Julie? Are you CRAZY? THAT would be INSANE! She’s half the fun of watching BB! Besides, as long as she remains married to Les, it will never happen. And thank God for that, it wouldn’t be the same without her.
And J-Unit, GREAT recap, but last night my first thought when the Chenbot appeared was, hello? Julie? Betty Rubble called and she’d like her necklace back! I was CERTAIN there would be a similar Flinstones reference in your recap this morning. Oh well…
george lopez is a good suggestion to play ivette, but may i also suggest carlos “mind of” mencia?
strategery.
Sparky (#19) there are still 7 people in the house. James may not play for veto, he can still be backdoored.
Great Recap. I was hoping that there would be something to the effect of “Julie was sporting a giant pearl necklace”.
I don’t think I can watch anymore.
Every non-sensical, garbled word that comes out the Beau’s mouth is like nails on chalkboard, and jesus, that image of Ivette in some sort of fetal curl, crying about phoning her mother. She is a psychopath. End of.
The competitions are the equivalent of drawing a name out of a hat, so why don’t they just do that.
And having to listen to the Chenbot’s increasingly pointless commentary, in light of how the game has developed in recent seasons. When every single viewer knows that a group votes as a block, it’s just insulting to even bother suggesting there’s any suspense as they each trot down the hall to vote. And the whole idea that you might change someone’s mind with your eviction ceremony speech?! Well even the nominees can’t be arsed and just use the time to say babble on about this and that. Might have been the case in season 2, but not no more.
Last night, 82% of viewers collectively yelled, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” when the 80 year old hag won. There is just no way to describe how this season is except a roller coaster of emotions. We have the people we want to win, who by and large are smart and good competitors (sans Howie), but made some incredibly DUMBASS decisions in the past. Contrast that with some of the most vile, hypocritical and horrible people ever to grace the BB house, who keep winning based on the stupid decisions of the Sovereigns, and you have the best/worst season ever. This season has become less about strategy and more about good vs. evil…and sadly evil will prevail.
I know I won’t be watching 3 nights a week anymore bc of the inevitable friendshit win. At least we know that CBS isn’t blatantly rigging things (bc of April’s win)…but still, a little push for the Sovereigns couldn’t hurt. Though get this, on the live feeds, Howie and Janie were going over possible questions for such a contest, and one they thought of was how many pucks were used during that comp, or something like that. So the producers obviously were favoring Janey, but by some unknown act of evil, the karma boomerang came full wind against the Sovereigns.
Oh well, it was a good seasons overall…and at least I have B-Side and J-Unit’s recaps to look forward to.
Mischa (#26) The numbers are against him still, I agree, but I can’t believe that Howie or Janelle wouldn’t pick him to play for veto. There isn’t anybody else who would risk taking one of them off. James might do it this week because it would guarantee that a girl scout goes up.
Man I was pissed to see Ma Kettle win HOH, but in a good news, Damn that Janelle looked hot yesterday. I think I was more disappointed that there wasn’t a physical HOH challenge so I could see her running around in the dress and the sheer chance of a stray nipple shot somewhere.
Awsome recap as usual J-Unit but I have two words for you….proof read!
I’m screaming: “DISQUALIFY HER, DISQUALIFY HER!” as April is fumbling, taking the longest time in television history to write down a number, Chenbot says “we need an answer” or whatever, and just sits there.
Forever.
Janie has her answer, looks at Yapril, looks at Chenbot, looks at Yapril, looks at Chenbot. STILL NOTHING. That is Janie’s fucking HOH damnit!
I will not watch again until BB7. I will rely solely on TVGasm’s recaps. I am physically ill at the thought that nice people such as Kaysar, Rachel, possibly Ashlea (we hardly knew ye), are gone, Janie, GPOJames, and Big Mouth are next, and the Friendsheep, Fellowship of the Whores, bitches are getting more smug, self-righteous screen-time.
People talk about Hatch, Jonny Fairplay, Jerri Manthey etc. as the biggest villains/worst humans in TV history, but I will gladly take them over the Whoreship any day. They at least make for better TV. And Ivette, now, SHE is the worst human ever.
Please understand that this is reserved for the most extreme cases, and has never been said by myself more sincerely: Ivette is the biggest fucking cunt I have ever seen.
I had thought of using a pearl necklace joke, but it has been used so often before, I wanted to shake things up. Never thought of Betty Rubble, but that is a good one.
Shelley, I do hate grammar errors, but notice I finished this post at 1:41 AM. I then have to get up for a full day of work at 6:30. I need that extra fifteen minutes of sleep more than the post needs good grammar.
It’s going to be a very difficult time in the weeks ahead. Our only hope is that the friendship implodes upon itself, and there is a lot of backstabbing. We know April and Ivette are capable. I wonder if James or Janelle could convince April to go after the last pair. It’s my only hope.
Here’s what I’m hoping: If they nominate Howie and Janelle: They evict Howie. Then if Janelle blowes HOH, She convinces the Friendship that they could use her for a swing vote instead of voting her off.
If they are stupid enough to try to backdoor Janelle, Then I want Janelle to win Veto and save Howie. It is not over yet people.
I will donate to the LA Times Ad.
My question is–how can I barely resist vomiting during the, let’s say, 10 minutes total per week when I hear Ivette’s voice. Yet somehow they have been able to stand that screech for 50+ days? She is horrible. BtDubs–If April were smart, she’d keep Janie as a potential swing vote. Also, I have to say, Rachel and Janelle have been the most honest players in the game so far. Ivette is going to get a rude awakening when she leaves the house. . .I can’t wait for her update next summer to here how horrible life post BB was for her
I usually didn’t mind Ivette too much, even though she did have a big mouth, but I do not see at all how she could say such a thing to Rachel. Rachel was like the most mature person in the game, also my favorite houseguest, and she says that she’s a sore loser and has poor sportsmanship. It pissed me off horribly! Rachel is anything but those things.
watching the nerd herd in power is as bad as a visit to the dentist for extractions. i’m swiftly losing interest in bb6, and the only satisfaction i get is knowing that once the nerd herd hits the outside world, they’ll see how unpopular they are. perhaps knowing that you’re hated by most of america will put them all in their pathetic, cowardly, lying, cheating places
Okay..I’m feeling major guilt for critiquing (sp?) your errors, J-Unit. Please forgive me?!
Also, I may be a “glass half full” kinda gal, but there is still hope, people. The game isn’t over until it’s over!
J-Unit – do you need a copy editor? I’m trained and willing.
My theory on Ivette’s hatred of Rachel is that Rachel is everything Ivette is not–smart, strategic, mature, relatively sane, able to see and admit to mistakes, not obsessed with a malevolent midget–and instead of reacting to that by being self aware enough to understand and change, Ivette’s reaction is to put Rachel down at all costs to make herself feel better.
I am so depressed after last nights
episode of BB6…why oh why did that
mishapened Harpy have to win HOH??? Did
we not suffer enough with Beau and his
mumblings last week? I am so infuriated
that someone from the Nerd Herd will win
this in the end…please don’t let it
be Maggie. She annoys the crap out of
me by just breathing. Good recap and
very on the mark about the Chenbot. She
annoys me too….sleeping with Les must
be worth it. Peace Out
Woo-hoo, the friendship wins! I’m so excited. (Sorry, no sarcasm here, I really am happy.)
First off, I do think the BB powers wanted the Sovs to win. They knew that they had specifically discussed the number of pucks in the basket and that Janelle was supposed to guess 101. For some reason, she didn’t.
Also, if I can believe the updates, it seems that Janelle really is a racist and homophobic pig. I can’t stand that. Nor can I stand the GOP’er.
It’s no wonder the friendship consisted mostly of the minorities and women in the house, not the type of women who orient themselves around men.
Go Friendship!
P.S. – April and Maggie can still ally with Howie once Janelle and James are gone. There are still several moves left in the house for them.
well bb6 you did it…I deal with too many people just like the Friendshit in my everyday boring life – I dont’ need to turn on the tv to hear hypocritical self rightous snobs blather on and on about themselves and how anyone who isn’t like them is wrong and hated. I’ll stay to watch them turn on each other, but it will be just as empty in the end if one of them wins as it was when Freddy & Kendra won the Amazing Race. Sometimes bad people win…..and it sucks
I just can’t watch this anymore,from now on I will only read info here so I can go to sleep and not be so angry after the show.I am still sooo mad at Kaysar{sorry if not spelled right}for giving up HOH he gave the show the kiss of death for me,how stupid.No more I just can’t watch,I need my sleep.
Dear Lala (43), I think you’ve missed the spirit of the overall anti nerd herd snarkiness, which is that we’re having a ball with it (much like Janelle does, which is why we like her so). I don’t think anyone is plugging for her because of her politics. I would guess that the HGs are all either GOPers, as you’ve termed it, or uninformed, or both.
And as for not being the type to orient themselves around men: um, hello, Cappy SHRINE???? What else do those people have in common? They don’t even like each other.
#43
I am right with you. When Janelle wrote 85 I was like WTF? You were supposed to write 101
bitch. She made me so mad last night.
I am convinced that James is throwing HOH contests because he thinks he is safe for another week and is saving it until he ablsolutely needs it like next week if it’s not down to him and one of the S2.
I hope the crapship puts up two of their own, James wins the veto and chooses not to use it…
That would be awesome….
J-Unit –> You have a really job? I’m speechless. I thought you follow Chenbot full time.
J-Unit –> You have a real job? I’m speechless. I thought you follow Chenbot full time.
Everybody keeps saying they don’t want to watch anymore. I can’t wait to see these loving, gushy, bestest ever friends start turning on each other.
Also April said she would like it to be James and herself at the end and she would win. I laughed and laughed. To be in the final 2 with James she would have to start putting out her “best friends” and they most assuredly would not care for that.
#43. Given the way Janelle got royally shafted on her HOH win, I can’t see how the Sovs can be said to be favoured. I mean, what was even the point of “Double Eviction” week? There was effectively no twist to the regular game whatsoever, except for the fact that Janelle wound up getting completely screwed out of the usual assortment of HOH perks.
Plus, even if they did know Janelle’s intended answer for the puck question, it wouldn’t matter unless they know April’s answer in advance. In fact, you could even argue the opposite. If they knew Jan was going to guess 100, that would leave a rather comfortable margin of 50 for April to squeeze in a better answer. For the record, I think it was a more or less neutral, crapshoot of a stupid question. As painful as watching penalty kicks determine the outcome of a soccer match.
As I chew through my own wrists over the tragic results of last night’s show, all I can think is that CBS is in full panic mode as the “Summer of Secrets” whimpers towards the end. CBS better have some AMAZING tricks up their sleaves, or it will be a lonely party for them come reunion night and only the chirping crickets are there to meet the inevitable winner from the friendship.
Rethinking my post, I call Chenagigans. If the BB6 producers knew both Jan and Howie’s intended answers in advance, shouldn’t they have just asked some other stupid random question, like how many blades of grass are in the lawn. Especially given the fact that they knew the answers would be well off the mark (it was 150 pucks right?)
Everyone should check out Beau’s HOH pictures on cbs.com to see just what a poor sport Rachel is. The way she’s laughing and posing for pictures with Ivette and Beau, mocking her own eviction…it’s disgusting. She should really take a lesson in sportsmanship from Ivette.
The fact April took a long time to answer is justly served considering the “double answer” Jannelle gave when she won HOH …..I really wish (IE the pinheads at teamkaysar.com) and people like yourself would face the facts….1 yes the “nerd herd” is kickin some butt in there….2 if Kaysar was so darn smart he wouldnt have trusted someone FROM THE OTHER “TEAM” and gave them HOH and 3 no matter who you like or dont like, this is still a GAME ….someone will win …someone will lose ….and its looking like the nerd herd will be laughing all the way to the bank
hey j-unit, you suck.
hey haters, how about you all be psyched j-unit got a recap out as quickly as he did?
going forward, i can only hope the friendsheep implodes as each member realizes he/she must at some point the game is ABOUT THE INDIVIDUAL. but by god, if they remain cordial and friendly till the end, i’ll slit my wrists.
Hey Peppercrapi (#57), what the heck do you have against j-unit. He’s awesome.
maybe #57 was a joke post because that’s the name of april’s dog?
to timmy (#56), i agree that the sovs haven’t played a perfect game, but they are so much more likable and honest than the lying, hypocritical, and nasty people who make up the friendship.
oh and was anyone else hoping that james would win HOH? that would’ve taken a member away from the f-ship while taking some of the heat off of howie and janie. too bad… :/
tv freak (#59) I am guessing since his name he used was pepperoni, and that J-Unit is a loyal Kaysarite like most of us, that he was just joking.
If not he is a massive tool.
The end result is a given – a Sheep shall win.
I’m hoping that the S.O.S. results in a corporate secret for Burnett & Co. – your show sucks so bad, and has zero integrity (see James cheating), so we’re gonna pawn your trash off on our sister network UPN.
In your slot we’ll switch Veronica or Tyra.
I only care to watch the Chenbot and to see if James gets backdoored.
to TJ (# 61):
lying and hypocritical??????? ok yes evilvette is nasty ….lesbian or not she is a horrible person….lest we not forget the midgets alliance to kaysar (the i will not put you up if you dont put me up)…..tit for tat kaysar threw the first stone….janelle admiting she didnt eat in the dessert from hell comp not to mention the viscious verbal attacks from janelle and howie…..please i chat in yahoo and even im more mature than that…like i said its a GAME you have to lie and deceive to win….howie blew it when he wanted to keep it clean and get rid of james and sara ….both his team mates and both solid allies …and both very good liars in the game ……bottom line if you cant stand the heat stay out of the house
I know this sounds like being a poor sport, but I once saw Donald Trump say on the Regis show that TiVoing a show doesn’t add to the ratings, so maybe as a protest, everybody TiVo BB6 and let the ratings crash..Then maybe BB will let America’s choice. Or this summer of secrets- No Million Bucks..
**SigH! Too Pissed off to even think of something TVgasm-reader worthy****
Totally unrelated to BB, but OMG! calling B-side and J-unit,
Got Enlightened on 2 things-
1. I’m soooooo uncool/ignorant
2.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=j+unit
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=B+Side
Lol! J-Unit which one are u??
And didn’t you just love how Skeevette and Bleau were immediately by April’s side as she won the HOH competition? It was as if they time-traveled, they were there so fast.
While we have the Friendshits, at least we don’t potentially have THE PREGNANT WOMAN like the Dutch do…(hope the link works)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20050827/en_nm/life_dutch_bigbrother_dc;_ylt=AiYbrEMS6Qk72whZxEHNbVAnHL8C;_ylu=X3oDMTA4dDg2MG9mBHNlYwMxNjk3
Let’s see. Three events haunt my mind, events I thimk were crucial to the game. # 1, I see Rachel having a brain fart and “being nice” to Howie and letting him win HOH. # 2, there’s Howie sitting amicably with Maggie on the edge of the tub, agreeing to nominate James and Sarah. # 3 is Dumbass Kaysar thinking with his manners and giving away HOH after 82% of over 5 million of us voted him back in. God! Say what you will, but in these shows the high moral road gets you the door that much sooner. The nerd herd knew that from the beginning and have won the game. The only amusing part will be watching them oust each other in a rush to the win. Hope Maggie wins, now.
this is howies last week.
janelle and howie will probably go up.
and james will win veto and take off janelle. so april will have to put up one of the frienship. but it will be ivette because she hates ivette, unless ivette somehow talks her out of it.
april is too dumb to backdoor janelle or james.
April could always stab Ivette in the back because you can tell she doesn’t like her. Also the frienship non-pairs need to start coming up with new alliances so they can win the $$$.
I wanted to post a comment about Beau the moment I logged on to TVGASM, however, I choose to read everyone’s posts before posting my own (didn’t want to be redundant) which led me to hold off on my Beau comment so I could have my very own Chen-ce to say
…But First…
For those of you who want to quit watching BB6 because you are angry about the fiendship…keep in mind if you weren’t watching you would have missed such precious moments as April in ruffled baby drawers, Howie’s ultra-white tush and Janie’s crotch peek.
Plus the way this game switches on a dime you just can’t risk missing a really great S6 come back. If you really can’t stand to watch – tivo it, read the recaps to see if anything good happened then you will have it to watch in case you realize you missed something.
I find I now watch the show twice, when it airs live and again running in the background as I read TVGASM So I can quickly go to the parts that ya’ll are commenting on (I admit it I’m a BB addict). Heck I’m a TVGASM addict too.
Now – back to my Beau comment…. did anyone else notice that when he talks he has to close his eyes? I always noticed his long slow blinks but it wasn’t until watching his interview with the Chen-ster that I realized his eyes close whenever his mouth opens. heheh… add your own punch line there folks.
And great recap J-unit – as always, it is hugely appreciate typo’s and all.
Has anyone answered why there are no more food competitions? Just curious.
(#72), They were wondering that on the live feeds to. If it has been answered then I don’t know it. Does Janelle get food each week with her PB&J pass and all.
I started watching this show half way through and don’t have all the preconecptions a lot of you do. From what I have seen, the “Friendship” appears to be the more mature, likable team. Janelle and Howie are annoying, to say the least, and are both poor losers and winners. What’s with all the animosity towards the “nerd herd?”
The nerd herd are all tainted with the stinky brush of Eric who got voted out weeks ago. He was, let’s say, a very difficult man to like. Yet for some reason, Ivette, Beau, Maggie, April and Jennifer all worshipped him – like a cult.
Anyhow, Fiendship victories aside, I’m loving this series, particularly the chess metaphor that’s been running through it. The houseguests have played chess lots, used chess as their strategy and even had a chess veto contest. If Kaysar and Eric were Kings, then Janelle and Maggie were Queens, Rachel and April are knights (horsies – one works with horses, one looks like one), Howie is a castle and Ivette is a pawn.
However, you know what happens to pawns who stay in the game long enough – they get to the 8th square and they get promoted to queen. If Ivette wins, THAT would be hideous.
I don’t get why people are saying bad things about J-Unit. Well, whatever…to each their own….IMHO, J-Unit, you rule!!!
To Chronic – what are you talking about??? How is Rachel “mocking”??? Those pictures were taken while Beau was HOH; therefore, that would’ve been BEFORE she knew she was leaving.
Here’s my idea for a twist: One of the safes (or the gumball machine) ought to contain a power to bring a sequestered houseguest back. Not back into the game, just back into the house. The Friendsheep are too dumb to win these type of twist/prizes, so if Howie or Janelle got it, they could bring back Kaysar or Michael or whomever, with which to properly torment the Cappy Shriners.
(Speaking of which – how many reality shows set up *shrines* to evictees?!!!)
#76 Er, uh, what did I write? Actually the post you’re referring to was the one beneath mine, looks like. But allow me to address that anyway: from what I can gather, Rachel pretty much knew she was a goner (well 50-50) from the moment Beau won HOH.