Previously on Big Brother, Jessie entered stage 2:
After the nominations Sunday Jessie is still shocked, SHOCKED, that he was put on the block after he’s been nothing nice to himself and has 17-inch arms. Jessie confides in his alliance, heretofore known as the “Tool Belt,” which sadly only consists of Michelle, that he has an ingenious plan to get out of this. Jessie plans to win POV and then become HOH and retaliate. Then he’ll become rich and buy Hooters and make Keesha a dishwasher, and then she’ll never make fun of him again.
Man he’s really gonna kick himself later when he realizes that there’s a mirror right behind him that he failed to kiss.
Outside Jerry has donned his knee-length, horizontal striped onesie to enjoy some sun and have a little chat with Dan. Jerry also plans to soon win HOH so that he can get Memphis out of the house, who he considers to be the biggest threat in the house. Jerry says that Memphis, being a bar…mixologist, should be further along in his career by know and is a womanizer, which in my opinion doesn’t make him a real threat in the house, but certainly does make him a poonhound. It’s obvious Jerry just doesn’t like the competition.
“You haven’t lived until you’d seen Mamie Van Doren’s ankles. Va Va Va Voom. 28 skadoo.”
Jessie comes to the HOH room to plead his case to Keesha. When Keesha asks Jessie if he’s hating her right now Jessie replies, “hey no hard feelings here. Rock hard abs, but not hard feelings.” Jessie informs Keesha that it wasn’t his decision to put up Steven for eviction since he has such a mad-on for Renny and wants her out of the house lest his Oedipal lust gets the best of him. Keesha is shocked to hear that it was Libra who convinced him to put up Steven instead of Renny, sacrificing one drag queen for another.
“I know this is soon, but I can’t deny my feelings any longer. Keesha, I want to ask you: would you rub that baby oil on my delts?”
Downstairs, April and Libra realize that Jessie has disappeared and must be upstairs in the HOH room. Before their pyramid of lies come crashing down around them, they must race to the HOH room to run an interception. Unfortunately Keesha tells Jessie to send them away when they ring the bell, leaving Libra and April to pout on the couch. Jessie continues to share information about Keesha’s dastardly coven making Keesha realize that Libra has been pulling the strings this entire time.
Libra: “OK, I’m thinking of a person”
April: “Barack Obama”
Libra: “Damn, you’re good.”
After Jessie leaves Libra and April race into the HOH room to comfort their sister because they say they heard “yelling,” despite the fact that Jessie and Keesha stage whispered their entire chat. Keesha plays it cool and says that Jessie was nice but will be coming after Keesha if he stays in the house, a believable lie. Meanwhile Jessie rushes to Michelle and tells her that he successfully swayed Keesha into the Tool Belt and that Libra is gone as soon as they win POV. So that’s the end of that.
Jessie confides that due to his hulk-like strength, cat-like reflexes and high ick, I think he meant to say I.Q., that he doesn’t feel threatened by anyone in this competition. After players are picked the competitors are Jessie, Angie, Keesha, Libra, Ollie and Memphis. This Veto competition is unlike any other I have seen as it’s not about strength, endurance, speed, or intelligence, but the ability to count. Each player has to dress in a green leotard with a foam rubber daisy around their head, or what Jessie calls club gear, and lay in an oversized flowerpot with water dripping on their forehead. The goal is to stay in for exactly one hour and the player who opts out closest to one hour, without going over, is the winner. Hopefully Dubya isn’t watching this since he’d probably take the idea to Darth Cheney to use in Guantanamo.
The bottle said it will make you fresh as a daisy, but this is ridiculous.
Later, when nightcrawlers are added to the mix, Keesha immediately pulls herself out since she has no reason to stay and be assaulted by slimy worms since she could have that by staying in her HOH room. The rest of the players bide their time, using strategies which include counting to 3,600 or counting to 60, 60 times, or Jessie’s plan; to count by the hour. After every person has taken him or herself out thinking they are closest to one hour, Dan the M.C. announces the winner: Keesha with a little over 20 minutes since the rest of the players stayed in for more than an hour, obviously enjoying the spa treatment.
After the game is over the Tool Belt tries to bring Angie into the fold by encouraging her to go to the HOH room and tell Keesha to use the POV and put Libra up in her place. Jessie figures that with two people coming at her, both casting aspersions upon Libra, Keesha is bound to take the bait.
After Angie plants the seed, Keesha pulls April and Ollie into the HOH room to ask their opinions about putting Keesha on the block.
Keesha: I know this is really hard since we’re so close to her but I was thinking about possibly considering putting Lib….
Ollie: Kill the bitch
April: I always hated her.
I’m glad CBS is bringing back Hee Haw.
Looks like it’s settled. Keesha is still having doubts about it due to her promises to Libra, but Jessie takes a chance to remind Keesha that Libra is bacne on the ripped muscles of the house. Jessie also somehow finds the chance to tell Keesha that he has been a nervous wreck and lost weight due to worry from being on the block, or what he calls “being in prison.” I think he’d like that.
Later Jessie comes back to the HOH room while April and Renny are there to restate his case in a nervous, shaky, angry way that can only win votes. When Jessie won’t stop or leave Keesha and the crew vacate her HOH room to find Libra. Due to Jessie’s roid rage, Keesha tells Libra that he is trying to make her remove him from the block and replace him with Libra. Keesha takes a stand in front of Libra and eventually everyone in the house and says that she made a promise to Keesha and everyone needs to stop trying to make her go back on her word. When she finds Jessie, playing chess with no one and still losing, she tells him this information with Libra standing behind her with her arms crossed.
“I’d like to play this game but I can’t find the chutes nor the ladders.”
That should settle that
Until later when a plane flies over the Big Brother House carrying a banner. Angie, Memphis, Michelle, and Jessie are all outside and try frantically to see what it says. Unfortunately the banner is flying to fast, too high, and the banner is hung backwards so no one can decipher it before Big Brother instructs everyone into the house for lockdown. When the group comes in the house they share the words they were able to suss out which were “Libra,” “Steven,” and “Liar” causing them to deduce that it said, “Libra is a liar, love Steven.” It just as easily could have said “Steven loves Jim Carey in Liar Liar and so does Libra.”
Great information, banner. Thanks
The group immediately rushes to the HOH room to tell the crew what they think they saw. Libra is visibly upset by the news and wonders why everyone is out to get her. Memphis reminds Libra that he is not and Jerry is the only person that Memphis has ever said he wants to get out. Jerry questions this statement and Memphis reminds Jerry that Jerry called him a womanizer in front of everyone, which was uncalled for. Jerry stands by his word which starts a barrage of slurs and name calling, with Ollie holding back Memphis from physically attacking 72 year-old Jerry and Jerry telling Memphis to pound snow and take a long walk off a short pier. Libra just sits back and thanks Obama that the attention has been taken off of her.
Memphis: If I wasn’t being held back by this guy……
Jerry: But ya are, Memphis. Ya are!
When it’s finally time for the Veto ceremony Keesha lets out a sigh of relief that hell week is over. Having all the power can be a gift and a curse, just as Dubya, so Keesha revels in the fact that she’ll soon be giving that up. But first, Angie and Jessie have to deliver their speeches as to why they should stay. Angie states that her actions in the house are indicative of her personality outside of the house and would like to stay, and Jessie says that he can crack a walnut with his ass cheeks. When the speeches are over Keesha says that she’s already made two nominations this week and can’t bring herself to make another, so she is keeping the nominations as they are.
Brilliant choice, Keesha. What did all of you think? Will Jerry and Memphis Greco-Roman wrestle? Will Libra be outed to her coven as a tow-face liar? Is it obvious that I love/hate Jessie? Discuss.