I, Chenbot

Many TVgasm readers alerted us to our fair Chenbot’s Letterman appearance a week or two ago, but no one seemed to notice her appearance last night on The Late Late Show with that Scottish Guy on CBS. Fortunately, I did.

I’ve never seen Craig Ferguson’s show before and, quite frankly, I didn’t even give him a chance this time around. I simply couldn’t contain myself from fast forwarding straight to the good stuff. But first… just kidding. I’ve always wanted to do that, and since I don’t handle the Big Brother recaps, that was my only chance.

The time came and Ferguson introduced Chenbot 6.0 to resounding applause. She even got some hoots and catcalls. I was shocked – SHOCKED I tell you – to see that her handlers dressed her in the same gold C3PO dress with the super high front slit that she wore a mere two weeks ago on Big Brother. This “woman” is married to Les Moonves, the President and CEO of CBS television and she is paraded out on the network wearing the same very noticeable dress a mere 13 days apart? Laziness, Forgetfulness…or evil devious Chenbot genius?The early portion of the interview highlighted the Chenbot’s laugh processors, with their hearty monotone “Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.” The Chelmet was in full effect and her posture was, well, it was robotic. Like she had a metal rod for a spine. Like no one has oiled her waist in a year. Like we didn’t know all that…let’s skip to the good stuff!

It turns out that the Chenbot must be “awake” at 2 AM and into the LA studio and ready to go on air at 4 AM for her Early Show gig. Hmmm, that sounds inhuman to me. Then the interview turned odd (or “awd” as the host says so cutely in his Scottish lilt), and I have my theories why. Remember, Ferguson’s boss is Chenbot’s husband. He’s probably sick of pricks with high profile blogs claiming his wife is an android. So he writes some carefully crafted questions and sends her out to various CBS talk shows. For example, with no segue Ferguson asked, “What was it like when Les proposed to you?” You know, to show her “human” side.

So Chenbot went on to talk about how “romantic” it all was and how he got down on bended knee to pop the question. The crowd applauded and said “awwwww.” Chenbot did not, however, mention Moonves’ (now) ex-wife who was upstairs in the bathroom taking a shower at the time. Really, how “romantic” is it when a guy proposes to a woman before his divorce is final? I can’t fault the Chenbot – what the hell does she know? Ferguson again abruptly changed the subject asking, “Where are you from?” Nothing new there…dudes always think asking Asian chicks “where they’re from” scores them points somehow. It shows that they care, maaaaaaaaaan…

The Chenbot was “born” in Queens, NY but is of Chinese descent. (Damn, those Chinamen are more technologically advanced than we thought!) She went on to describe some impossibly quaint and cute story about her “parents” meeting and marrying (again, it was all so Lifetimey, I refuse to believe a word of it) and living happily ever after. Ferguson asked her if she spoke any Mandarin and before I knew it, the Chenbot’s circuits crossed and she blurted out what I can only assume was some Chinese! It was awesome. This display of programming prowess pretty much fried her brain and the interview wrapped up shortly thereafter. Sadly and strangely, there was not one mention of Big Brother during the interview at all. I guess they’re trying to keep it (Summer of) Secret or something.