Jase and Scott Keep Their Alliance In The Closet

How great is it to have Big Brother back? After only three episodes, this season is priming up to be fantastic. We’ve already got a colorful stable of characters who are polarizing faster than Michael Moore pundits. Score one for the topical reference! Mike, who at some point acquired the nickname “The Don”, has become the house scapegoat. Everyone’s so afraid to go near him you’d think he somehow contracted leprosy in the diary room. Unlike previous week one nominees, however, he’s not going down without a fight. Last year, Amanda’s strategy was to have sex with David. This year, Mike made a more productive move: divide and conquer. Or at least, divide. He may not have gained any allies, but at least he’s done a good job of raising anti-Scott and Jase sentiment. And no bandana can refute that.Mike’s first duty as house pariah was to talk circles around the dunderhead duo of Scott and Jase. When Scott noted that Mike’s nomination was due to him forming alliances, Mike keenly pointed out that Scott too was in an alliance with Jase. For some odd reason, Scott vehemently denied this, saying that they’re just really good friends. Interesting.

Later, Mike called out Jase in a similar fashion. A new and welcomed veto twist meant that the Head of Household had to pick a partner to compete with, and when Mike said Jase should just admit his chosen one will be Scott, Jase got a case of the huminah huminahs. Like his partner in crime (and headwear), Jase full out denied any sort of alliance with Scott, once again insisting that they’re just friends. Very very close friends… who share clothing… and pat each other on the ass. Yes, that’s right. At one point in tonight’s program, Scotty gave Jase a little love pat on the derriere. Nothing too big, just enough to say “Hey buddy, I’m here. And I love you.”

Mike tried his hardest in the veto challenge, and he damn near won the thing, but lucky Jase managed to get his rival eliminated. This resulted in a victory dance and a little dap from Scott, not that they have an alliance or anything. They just both happen to be rooting independently for a similar outcome. Oh, and that hushed whispering during the challenge, that was just a discussion of how much they’re not in an alliance.

Later Scott chose some peculiar words during the veto ceremony. As the winner of the GOLDEN POWER OF VETO (RAH!!!), Scott explained to the house guests why Mike was nominated: Jase felt like Mike was a gamer, Scott said, and therefore “we” nominated him. I imagine that’s not the Royal We. So let’s get this straight. Even though Jase and Scott strategize in the Head of Household room, and even though they speak on behalf of each other regarding nominations, they’re not an alliance? Luckily, not a single person in the house believed them, which would make sense since the charade was about as thinly veiled as Will’s homosexual card, which he finally played to no real effect.

Prior to Will’s official outing, the “four horsemen” pondered his sexual orientation. They noted that he seemed gay enough to spend lots of time with the ladies, but not gay enough to freak the guys out. Suddenly the four shirtless dudes let out an uncomfortably nervous laugh as they realized they actually looked gayer than Will.

Speaking of Will, our resident nurse was up to a little scheming tonight as well. He caught wind of a brewing distaff alliance led by Diane and Adria, and when it became clear that his role in this group would be cursory at best, he quickly ran to the men to alert them of estrogen troubles ahead. Scott and Jase were so incensed that others would try to undermine them that they actually entertained the thought of saving Mike and putting up Adria, or “A” as they now call her. Of course, this was only a passing fancy, but it’s always good to see strategies slowly unravelling.

As these two alliances quickly solidify, chaos will reign supreme. No one seems to realize that if an alliance is greater than three people, it will implode. Remember last season’s ill-fated plan to get rid of the ex’s? Or the alliance of 6 from the third season? Both were formed early and both were decimated after only the third or fourth week. Any group larger than three will have an inner core and an outer circle. It’s always those people on the fringes that will stray in order to get better position elsewhere. I can’t wait for these two alliances to completely collapse, leaving Will, Holly, and Marvin to pick up the pieces.

Speaking of Holly, our favorite house dolt continues to amaze with idiotic stories about her mannequin named “Madame”. Jase and others looked on in sheer bewilderment as Holly prattled along, but only Marvin picked up on what I’ve been suspicious of the past few days – maybe Holly is a shrewder player than we ever thought. Granted, Marvin had a more eloquent way of saying it. Something along the lines of “bitch could be an MIT graduate”. I feel you, Marvin.

I also feel for Marvin because he seems to be left out from the current wave of camo patterns that has taken the house by storm. Just when I’d come to accept the presence of the almighty bandana, the Jase/Scott axis flooded the house with camo patterns, most notably with hats, but also in the form of cargo shorts and pants. Granted, Jase was in the military, but something tells me these fatigues came from Urban Outfitters, not urban warfare. And so with Jase donning a camo patterned trucker cap over his already noxious bandana, another fledgling fashion trend died an early death. All across Hollywood tonight, hipsters will be burning their camo garb (don’t worry Jase. Ashlee Simpson also contributed to the backlash, I imagine). I don’t know, America. Last episode, the bandana took center court. Tonight, the camo. I just don’t know what Thursday has in store for us. To borrow a word from Michael’s personal lexicon, this whole sartorial situation is a little “nervous-ing”.