It’s been a tough week for me when it comes to Big Brother. On one hand, I was so happy that Danielle won Head of Household because I was excited to see that some adult supervision would be coming to the house. Season Six has done a good job of talking a lot about how wonderful their strategy is, but in reality the people who have benefited the most from their nominations are Chilltown. Still, I can’t say that I am absolutely enjoying Danielle’s reign because she put. But whatever the result, Danielle is really forcing people to play the game, and that is really all that you can ask for. What we got in return was one of the best episodes of the season.Although I was happy with Danielle nominating James and Janelle (season six needs to be broken down for the good of the game), I thought that she could have made it a lot easier on herself by putting up Janelle and Kaysar. If one of them wins Veto, she could then put up James as a decoy. If Kaysar was to win veto, he would probably take off Janelle, meaning neither of them would be on the block, which would be a major blow to Danielle. For somebody who always likes to keep it simple and straight to the point, I thought this was a bad move on Danielle’s part.
The good part about the strategy was that James was able to sell his surprise and anger very well, and he even called it “one of the better moments in my brief, but non-existent acting career”, much like the mornings I belt out “The Seed (2.0)” in the shower is part of my (thankfully) brief and (mercifully, for you) non-existent singing career. Boogie was so impressed with the way things went down that he believed that the Legion of Doom, which honestly is about as cool as naming your alliance “Stratego”, had devised the “perfect” plan. And you all know what happens when anybody has a perfect plan and announces it all over house? It almost always backfires in their face, leaving several people to pick up the pieces.
It’s not long before Janelle has already sniffed out part of James’ strategy. When talking with Kaysar, she starts to wonder about the nomination ceremony. She even begins to wonder if James is working with Danielle, and therefore James knew he was going to go up. Kaysar, who is proving each week that he is more and more overrated said that there was no way in “a million years” that James would go for that kind of deal. Janelle, however, is not convinces, and this is why we love her. She begins to realize that there is a good chance that if James wins the veto, he is coming off, and Kaysar could be back-doored. She is right, but I think any person in James’ position would fight for the veto to take himself off. However, if somebody else were to win the veto and take James off, that would be a good indicator of something being wrong.
Never say never again Kaysar
Ironically, season six makes a great argument for why James should not have full loyalty to their alliance, because they do not have full loyalty to him. Janelle says that there has always been a little bit of suspicion since James turned on them last year. She conveniently forgets that James turned on his alliance because stupid Howie, in a move that STILL pisses me off to this day, let Maggie convince him that he needed to put up James and Sarah. When your alliance puts up you AND your girlfriend in order to get you out of the house, there is reason for you to want some revenge. Janelle basically admitted that they are only using James for numbers, and I think James is justified to get out before Dr. Will is able to convince Janelle or Kaysar that James is more dangerous in their alliance than one of them, and YOU KNOW that is going to happen sooner than later.
Danielle seems to have turned the tide in her favor with a number of houseguests. Marcellas bought the act, hook, line, and sinker. Before, he thought that they had some deal, but now Danielle blew the game wide open. Danielle is happy that Marcellas is on her side, but prefers to keep him the dark.
Another strange occurrence came when George entered Danielle’s room and basically said that he wasn’t going to be playing the game for himself any longer. In an act of capitulation so great that even Vichy France would be ashamed, George said that he has been watching Danielle and the odds are in her favor. George says Danielle can whip it, which I guess is his way of saying that she can dominate the game. Good thing Danielle is not a pirate or Jesse Jackson, because she might have taken offense. Basically, George says that he understands what she is playing for and if he is not able to get to the end, he wants to be there for her if she does.
One of the reasons I love Big brother is that it always introduces us to new vocabulary. This latest word of the week, comes from Mike Boogie who complains that there are some people that are too meterosexual in the house. No, I didn’t spell that wrong. Boogie pronounced met-er-o as one three syllables instead of two syllables in metro. I would give Boogie the benefit of the doubt and say he was trying to be funny, but this is the guy who masturbates in a gardening shed and cut his toe open celebrating a veto victory. Actually, Mike Boogie is probably upset that these guys can actually grow pubes.
What the HELL is Howie shaving?
So what was making Boogie so nervous that his manly prowess was threatened? Apparently, there is an epidemic in the house where everybody is shaving their bodies. Well, we only see Howie and Will shaving their bodies, but you know that Kaysar shaves his body because his chest hair has now turned into a map of Colombia or something, and his pit stains are out of control. Hey, I can understand why people might need to trim the shrubbery a little bit, and nobody wants to be confused for a Sasquatch like Bunky, but it seems like Will and Howie are a little bit obsessed with being hairless. The worst part about all of this body grooming is that the two of them convinced Chicken George that he should also go hairless, but thankfully the producers cut away before making us watch Howie shave George.
Time for the rub and tug
Now that it is week six, we have sort of reached the point where Howie has become more annoying than a lawn mower going off outside your apartment at 6AM on a Saturday. At first, he’s funny because he is goofy, and his shtick is kind of cute. Unfortunately, Howie isn’t very creative, and this whole “Big Boy” character that he has going is really starting to become stupid. Since there is no way to get away from Howie in a house that small, you have to live with him. Avoiding him is like trying to drive to Vegas without seeing a billboard for Danny Gans. Although Danny Gans would be a lot funnier if he mooned the camera as much as Big Boy.
Will has been trying to put the moves on Janelle, but Erika has started to take notice of him as well. You would think she would have learned her lesson after dating another Big Brother contestant for so long, but hey, who doesn’t want to marry a doctor? Erika asked if Will would marry her and Janelle, presumably after the three of them moved to Utah, which when you think of it would be perfect, because Will would never again have to lament about being the palest person in the state. Before Will’s dirty little mind could contemplate all of the benefits of the “Ménage a Trois” alliance, Howie was upstairs with some food, willing to give out advice.
It’s bad enough when your stupid friend is ruining your game, but it’s even worse when he’s really not your friend, and the only thing you get out of him is that you shouldn’t confuse the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Howie may be dumb, but at least we know that he can read a fortune cookie. That leads Janelle to make a comment that Howie can’t add anything to a conversation that is intellectual, exciting, or even funny. In other words, inviting Howie into your discussion would be like inviting Mel Gibson to your bar mitzvah.
As it came time for the veto competition, it was time to see what the Legion of Doom was made of. Remember that Boogie said that their plan was “foolproof”. James prayed to the Big Brother Gods to help him send the evil, duplicitous Janelle home and said that if the Legion of Doom was clicking on the same page, it will work together very nicely. As it came time to pick veto participants, the scenario came out exactly like Danielle would have written int. She drew Will’s name, and James picked Mike Boogie. Janelle had her choice of houseguests, but instead of picking Kaysar or Howie, she picked Marcellas. She was worried because neither Kaysar nor Howie would promise her to use the veto, which seems really kind of fucked up if you ask me, but Marcellas is no longer in her pocket and would never use it either, but she doesn’t know that.
The six participants were taken outside, where the producers had set up a bunch of graves, and Erika, who was leading the ceremony from inside, started talking about being “buried alive” and stuff. A lot of the houseguests got nervous, and Mike described it as a cemetery of horror as if he expected that somebody was going to create a cemetery of love and happiness or something. In actuality, it wasn’t as bad as it sounds. Although there were a bunch of caskets with dirt on them, the houseguests were told to lie down in between the caskets, which were only there to make sure that none of the participants could see each other. I’m kind of surprised Boogie didn’t try and rub one out with all of his newfound privacy.
The game was very simple, and I think a very good one. Everybody started with 40 veto points, but Erika would read ten offers, and the first person to hit their button could add or subtract their veto points depending on what she said. Danielle was depending on her Chilltown synergy to help her win, and she was willing to do anything to keep her nominations the same.
They tried not to reveal who took any of the offers until the end, but you knew that Janelle was going to fight for every point, and Danielle was going to do the same. The offers were:
1. Add veto points and replace all the beds with cots. Additionally, there would be no hot water for the week.
2. Add points and live 24 hours in solitary confinement with nothing to eat but slop and water.
3. Give up points for margarita party.
4. Give up points for a plasma television.
5. Give up points for a call from home.
6. Give up points for a trip to Aruba.
7. Add points and put the four houseguests not participating in the competition on slop.
8. Give up points for a personal slop-free pass for the summer.
9. Bet as many veto points as possible to win $5000
10. Add points and not participate in the Power Of Veto ceremony the next week.
How did Janelle manage to avoid the camel toe?
Janelle won the power of veto, but since none of the results were revealed to the houseguests, it was up to them to be truthful about what they did to add or points, or what they received for giving up points. However, most of the people who won freely admitted what they won, even Janelle, who put everybody on cots and no hot water and four of the houseguests, including two of her allies on slop for the rest of the week.
As people started admitting to what sort of rewards they gave up, Danielle started to become pissed. She was hoping that her alliance would try and fight for every point, and couldn’t believe at what some of the people won. The hardest thing was for her to hear James, who is really her strongest ally right now, took the phone call from home, because she wanted to take it so bad, but didn’t because she wanted to win veto. You could see it coming from a mile away as soon as the producers had James say, “if we all click” that Legion of Doom would fuck up.
Now even though Danielle had a reason to be upset at the poor performance of her alliance, it is actually beneficial that they didn’t try and compete for veto points. The last thing that they wanted to do was to spread the veto points out among a bunch of different people. It makes no sense for several of them to gain points, because that means that Janelle would have an easier time winning. If Danielle added 10 points, and James had won 7 points, and Will won 5 and Boogie won 3, it means that Janelle would only need 11 points to win veto. Yes it also means Janelle has fewer chances to win points, but with only ten questions to answer, I would rather not dilute the pool of points available for me to win.
Nobody was happy with what they had to give up, and yes it sucks to sleep on cots and shower with no hot water, but I can’t imagine what made James say that they are treated worse than prisoners. It’s not like he is being kept up at night with the sound of people scraping their toothbrushes against the wall. Danielle did have to live in solitary, but 24 hours doesn’t really seem like it’s that awful. She is already cut off from the outside world, her bed is going to be a cot so sleeping on the floor doesn’t seem so bad, and she is so pissed at her alliance, she probably didn’t want to talk to people anyway!
While Danielle was in solitary, Will and Boogie decided that they would use it as a chance to sway the votes their way. Will and Boogie, taking a page from the Season Six Big Brother strategy guide, decided that maybe it wasn’t so good to break up season six because if Janelle was gone, it would make Chilltown the strongest alliance in the house, and therefore they would be big targets. Therefore, it would be a better idea for them to…get rid of floaters!
Their idea was to blame Marcellas for taking the plasma television and the money, and let things go from there. Janelle is up for it because A) it means her alliance would still be intact and B) she wanted to get back at Marcellas, who she said was greedy. Again, I say it is better that Marcellas didn’t take points away from Janelle, allowing her to win the veto. In either circumstance (Marcellas doesn’t play for veto, or Marcellas plays and doesn’t use it on Janelle), she learns that Marcellas isn’t on her side; so having him play for himself is not horrible. Considering a few moments earlier she caught James off guard when she asked why he didn’t play hard to win the veto, which showed some great thinking on her part, it hurts to see her get fooled so easily by Will’s intentions.
Will then begins to work on James, once again lying about what Marcellas won, and saying that Chilltown offers them a truce for one week if they put up Marcellas. In return, they all agree to put up Chicken George next week. James is sort of skeptical, but when he asks Howie if they can trust him, Howie says “yeah”. Now, why would James ask Howie if they should trust him? Just a couple of days earlier, James himself duped Howie into believing that James and Danielle weren’t allies. I hate to use the chess analogy again, but if James just watched Howie lose a game of Chess, would he then ask Howie for help in his next move? Of course not!
But the worst part about this whole “truce” is that Will and Boogie have not proven they are able to win a HoH competition. Their whole idea of a truce is to hope Season Six wins HoH, and then is stupid enough to keep their word with Chilltown, even though Chilltown would never do the same for them. This whole truce strategy is what got the Season Six alliance into their current predicament in the first place. Kaysar made a deal with Chilltown and got rid of a floater. Janelle put up a floater for Chilltown, and it only got her alliance pissed at her. James was so pissed that Janelle made a deal with Chilltown, and now contemplates one of his own?
Admittedly, Janelle and Kaysar have excuses because it is their asses on the block, but why would James make a deal to save Kaysar? He says he doesn’t want Kaysar to take the fall for Janelle’s mistake, but if you can’t take out Janelle, the best thing to do is get rid of one of her allies! Why take out Marcellas, who wants to take out the person you want to take out, and keep a person who wants to keep the person that you want to take out? It’s like if James was a member of a wrestling tag team and he hit himself in the steel chair and then threw his partner into the Spanish announcer’s table. Why DO THE DIRTY WORK FOR THE OTHER TEAM?
Is it me or does Chicken George look like what Jon Daly will become in about ten years?
Hey will, make sure to save some hair grease for Antonio Banderas
The Big Brother margarita party was kind of lame. Mike said that it felt like he was in Mexico, but I feel the same thing anytime I am east of Western Ave. With Danielle in solitary and Erika not able to enjoy the margaritas because she was on slop (and not wanting to head outside because she couldn’t bear the thought of enjoying herself while Danielle was prisoner), it turned into a big sausage-fest. Sure Janelle looks cute in her black evening gown (she has been filling things out REALLY well lately, not that I am going to complain), but what is exciting about seeing all the dudes hit on Janelle? And to tell you the truth, the whole house is turning into a big sausage-fest. It was bad enough that you knew the hookups would be at a minimum with all these veterans, but I hope the producers do something to keep some of the girls around longer, because if the last two weeks of the show is filled with a bunch of guys shaving each other and jerking off in a tool shed, I assure you the ratings are going to go down.
James got his call from Sarah, and he did they had their nice reunion. James and Sarah have this thing where they cross fingers to show that they love each other, and James has been crossing his fingers a lot on the show so Sarah could see. I am sure it was great to hear his voice, but why would James end the call with “I’ll see you soon”? Isn’t that tempting fate a little too much? Maybe they should treat these things like theater performers, but instead of saying the opposite of good luck (break a leg), they would say the opposite of “see you soon” or in other words, “Go fuck yourself”.
When it was time for Danielle to come out of solitary, the house began to cheer her on. She did her time really well. She had tears, probably over the thought that she could have talked to her kids, but overall, she used that time to go over all the scenarios, but having been out of the house for 24 hours, she needed to get caught up.
Danielle was not exactly happy with her alliance after the veto competition, so she had no idea why people were all of a sudden gunning to take out Marcellas. When Mike Boogie told her the amnesty plan, Danielle could only laugh and asked Erika to join her in the HoH room. If Season Six wanted amnesty, they should have sent Kaysar, because it is his ass on the line, not Mike Boogie. Danielle realized after the veto that she is not tight enough with her alliance to begin doing favors for them. She wants to make a decision that is going to benefit her first, not something that would help Boogie and Will.
Erika is only with Danielle long enough to hear her complain about how stupid her alliance is, because James walks in and wants a few minutes alone. James had a plate full of Mexican food, which Danielle appreciated because she probably hadn’t eaten in solitary, but it wasn’t enough to save him from the guilt trip she put on him about the phone call.
James main mission in going to Danielle was to sell her on the idea of putting up Marcellas, blaming him for playing for himself and being greedy in the veto competition, and for telling Janelle he was going to save her and then lied to her by playing for himself. Again, this is the dumbest idea, and the reasons to do it are even more asinine. How can James blame Marcellas for being greedy? Even if he can trust Will and Boogie, James gave up points himself, so saying that Marcellas was greedy is being hypocritical. Also, why should James care if Marcellas lied to Janelle? Wasn’t the whole purpose of the game to get Janelle out of the competition? Wasn’t it GOOD for you that Marcellas lied, especially since he did it without you having to make a deal with him? If James wants to nominate Marcellas because he lied to Janelle, is he telling us that he would have been happier if Marcellas didn’t lie to Janelle? What if Marcellas won veto and used it on Janelle? Would that satisfy James? What more could they have asked for Marcellas than to help them take out the woman that James said he wanted to get rid of? AM I THE ONLY ONE GOING CRAZY AT THIS LOGIC??!!
Again, I think that James picked the wrong week to ask Danielle to make a sacrifice. After watching her alliance do nothing to help her, Danielle wasn’t going to be swayed. For some reason, James still believes the best-case scenario is to put up Marcellas up, and the worst-case scenario is putting up Kaysar. Seriously James, the enemy of your enemy is your friend, dumbass.
Janelle used the Power of Veto on herself, although she said she was worried about it because Kaysar would be back-doored. If there is anything more annoying than the gratuitous use of “thrown under the bus” (which Danielle used to describe the strategy to take out Marcellas), it is the houseguests using the term “backdoor” more often than the people on a movie set in Van Nuys. If Janelle is using the veto on herself, it means that Kaysar can’t be back-doored. If they wanted to backdoor Kaysar, everybody would have fought for the veto and used it. The entire plan was to get rid of Janelle, and if she hadn’t won, the veto never would have been used. Therefore, NO BACKDOOR.
When it came time for Danielle to choose the replacement, the producers wanted for us to believe that Howie would be picked because Danielle said his name first, but after a pause said she promised that he would be safe for this week and she kept her promise. After a whole episode and not having Howie’s name mentioned once as a nominee, I’m not sure why they thought we would fall for this. Danielle did the right thing and nominated Kaysar.
Danielle’s decision was easy. The Legion of Doom did not help her, so she had to protect herself first, and weakening season six is the smart play. As for the Legion of Doom, James was worried that they failed their first goal, which was to get rid of Janelle, and they failed the first test of their relationship. The second test would be to see if he was kept in the house, and the third test would be to get Janelle next week, which by the way was made much easier by keeping Marcellas off the block, you moron.
Janelle and Kaysar vowed revenge, but I don’t know what they can do. Kaysar also complained of getting back-doored, but again, how can he complain about being back-doored when it was his own alliance member that vetoed herself off to get nominated? Get over it Kaysar, you were not back-doored. You were just outsmarted by your stupid “Keep Chilltown in the house so the floaters go after them” strategy. Imagine that, Chilltown is in the house and Season Six is still the target. And even if he was back-doored, Kaysar has been a coward in the game, and I’m not going to weep if he gets the coward’s exit.
Who will be voted out?
Kaysar has a small chance, but Danielle has Marcellas, Erika, and Chicken George, and most likely Will and Boogie. Yes, you could say that they would vote James to leave and then team up with the rest of Season six, but their whole strategy is to keep the attention away from them. With Danielle’s move, Season Six is going to go after her. Getting rid of James is not going to change that very much, and if they do get rid of James, it would mean that they would have double-crossed the Legion of Doom, which would make them big targets for the floaters.
This was one of the best episodes of the season. Of course Danielle’s little run means nothing if she is voted out next week, but if another floater can win HoH, this game is going to be REALLY good for the last six weeks.
What did you think of this episode? Did Danielle make the right decision putting up Kaysar? Will Kaysar or James go home?