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Friday, August 12, 2005
1:24 am
69 Comments
Tonight’s Big Brother can be summed up in two words – well, two hyphenated words plus another word, in any case: Eighty-Two Percent. Take that in, everybody. First an eight, then a two, then a percent. If there was any question as to just how much America loved Kaysar (and absolutely hated Eric), it was answered tonight. On behalf of all of us here at TVgasm, we want to thank you for helping make the rest of the season all that much more enjoyable. And on a personal note, you have restored my faith in a higher power. After all, it couldn’t just be an accident that Kaysar is back in the house. Somebody heard our prayers (and screams) and put Kaysar back in the house. Let’s call it the Chen Corollary to Intelligent Design. Well, now that we have all of that out of the way, is there any reason to stick around for the rest of the recap? Well, of course; this is TVgasm, after all.Depending on how long you have been following the TVgasm recaps of Big Brother, you know that we have a particular affinity with Julie Chen. Some might call her our obsession. The Chenbot is wonderful, and we have added a new level to our Chentensive look at the summer months with aDict-CHEN-ary (my apologies for not populating this particular post more, but it is worth a look). But among our old-time fascinations with Julie was the camel toe. Our host is a fashonista, or at least her programmers dream that she will be one, but every now and then, those slim pants reveal a little more than we bargained for.
Perhaps all of our somewhat disturbing fixations with the camel toe has had an effect? I am not going to say for sure, but Julie has not even been close to wearing anything that could give us our little show. That is until tonight! Julie had a nice pair of pants, that you could tell would be really clingy, not to mention a nice little top that hugged her quite nicely. But wait! Look at the rest of the top! Did she ask her designers to make a sexy, sheer, form-fitting apron? What is the deal with the flap in the front that covers the camel toe-ish region we have all been waiting for? Is it something from the maternity section of Nordstrom’s? Julie, don’t you see our hearts still yearn? And just like that, Toe Watch 2005 is entering another week. Please Julie, just one more time, we desperately need it.
Curses to the flap of modesty!
There was a bunch of other things going on in the actual house apart from Chenbot, who surprisingly was in tip top shape, hardly ever flubbing a word, with mistakes down to a minimum. Les Moonves is probably letting her get some sleep on Wednesday nights, choosing to have one day of rest from what is sure to be a fantastic Chen-boink routine. The big news from the time of the Veto ceremony and the renomination was swirling around Ivette. We all knew that Sarah was a goner, but as Ivette says, nothing is set in stone. I don’t know about that Ivette, if you eat some more, they might make a monument to your GIGANTIC ASS.
Although she had “volunteered” herself, Ivette was not that happy with the nominations. It may surprise some of you, but I can kind of see how she was feeling. She offered her name only after April complained that she would hear it from James all week. I think that the person we would have been hearing about all week would have been April, because she already can’t shut up. She passes so much gossip, I can’t wait to see what happens when she is backed into a corner and has to defend herself off of the block. I hear there is a pretty good self defense class at her nursing home, although sometimes she skips it in favor of aerobics in the pool.
Anyway, Ivette was expecting some sort of recognition from her teammates, like a hug or a pat on the back or a helpful tug on that short skirt she likes to wear. Instead, nobody would talk to her except for Beau, and April made like white on rice for the HOH room. Suddenly, Ivette realized that she may not have numbers. What happens if Jennifer and April are in it with Howie and Rachel to take her out?
How often does April inflate her tits? It’s quite distracting.
(That bikini top is cute though.)
Meanwhile, April continued her smear campaign about Ivette. Now, I am guessing that April is doing this largely as a hedge against losing power. If the “Sovereign Five” as the Kaysar alliance has been called, is in power, they will be looking at Ivette, Beau, and Maggie instead of April and Jennifer. She goes on about how Ivette always runs to James about her problems, and then there is that uncertainty. With Sarah, you know she is going to be with James. Ivette is a loose cannon, and as Howie has been fond of saying all week, you can’t have those types in the house. Now, much like the plan to get rid of James, all of this had be discussed among as few people as possible for it to be effective. Maggie might tell Ivette, so all of this has to be low key. But where is Jennifer? Oh, exercising with Maggie? No problem there. Or is there?
Right after April says “I hope she doesn’t tell Maggie,” Big Brother makes the marvelous cut showing the two women working out, and Jennifer talking strategy. I am not sure about Jennifer sometimes. Cute face, nice boobs, and all that cart-wheeling ability means she probably has agility in lots of the activities she tries. But man, she is also pretty dumb. She tells Maggie about the plan, like it is privileged information. It’s sort of like that first Christmas when your parents told you the truth about Santa Clause. You really played along with your younger siblings and probably thought you were really smooth, but you were actually very obvious. She’s like “Think about it Maggie, who is more powerful? James and Sarah, or James and Ivette?” I’m sure she was expecting Maggie to say “Oh wow! You are sooooo right!”, but Maggie takes it as a warning sign and goes right back to Ivette. God, I really love this cast, all of their schemes really go to shit in no time at all.
Maggie sees how scared Ivette is, and decides she is going to figure out what the hell is going on, so she steps outside and decides to nonchalantly sunbathe with Jennifer and April. Watching Maggie lay out reminded me of a fat little baby seal out of its element; it also made me want to club baby seals. She asks them what the deal is and if she is “missing the boat on something big.” Maggie may have missed the boat, but from where I’m standing, she always catches the gravy train and you know we couldn’t miss her huge ass. April and Jennifer, who aren’t accustomed to be challenged in such a way, know they don’t want to lie, but they don’t want to answer Maggie either. April says to Jennifer “Answer, because I don’t want to answer,” and Jennifer didn’t answer because she wanted to think. Maggie actually answered all of our questions by telling them their silence is telling her as much as she needed to know.
Maggie makes her bid for Miss Reality FUPA 2005
Julie had her first interview with the houseguests, and asked some fairly lame questions to Maggie, Rachel, and James, and once again asked Beau a question as well. Beau is so boring, they ask him a question every week just so we know he is still there. This time, he messed up horribly on a simple question about peanut butter and jelly. When Julie asked him if he would rather have PB&J or a week of desserts, which doesn’t seem like a tough question to me, but maybe James is gay so he has to worry about his weight? Whatever it was, he was like, “Desserts, because well, at least with peanut butter and jelly [inner monologue: shit what was I going to say] oh, well, I think I’m sweet, so I’ll pick sweets.” The worst part about Beau is not that he is boring, but that you know he is going to hang around a long time because people don’t see him as a threat. Perhaps when the “floater backlash” happens in a week or two.
We got our little interviews with the houseguests before they voted, and the producers were really trying to build a case for us to believe Ivette had a chance, which basically means Sarah had no chance. When we came back from commercials, Julie interviewed Howie about his decisions as HOH. He admitted how difficult it was to be HOH and I am sure that given the chance, he’ll let Rachel think for him the next time. As it was he was hoping that Kaysar came back, because Howie was getting headaches thinking for himself. He also had another Howie paraphrase of a well-known phrase by saying “quicker or sooner” instead of “sooner or later” [thanks for the reminder Angie], but hey, his brain has been working on its own going on seven days! Hey male stripper stereotypes, why don’t you stick around for a while? Howie kind of rambled on for a bit, which brings me to one of my favorite Chenbot functions – the interruption laugh. Whenever somebody is talking too long, she interjects with a few giggles, maybe a chuckle, before she gets back to business. Sort of like a “ha ha ha ha ha ha… NOW SHUT UP ASSHOLE.” She had to pull this one off on Howie, and it wouldn’t be the last one of the night.
Once again, we got a few more interviews. Rachel said that if she didn’t vote Ivette out, Ivette, Eric, and Maggie would have made a strong team. Wow, sort of like that strong team you would have had if you hadn’t turned on James. And if Maggie was such a threat, why not, you know, NOMINATE HER? Maggie meanwhile said that getting rid of Sarah would make James weaker, but I am not so sure. Whenever you corner somebody, their instinct is to fight back, and I think getting rid of Sarah is going to give James hella motivation to cause trouble the rest of the way, for both sides of the house. I think James may get nominated a few more times, but only because it means he can’t vote, and he will be a swing vote.
They didn’t even give us a commercial break before they got back to the evictions. In their speeches, Sarah rambled on about James, and Ivette said a very important thing “Actions are louder than words,” which gave Howie an “oh shit” look on his face, perhaps realizing James really didn’t do anything against him other than talk. It was no surprise when Sarah was evicted, by a vote of six to one. I am surprised Janelle didn’t throw her name in there, but she has really been playing it low. A lot of other people have put themselves out there as targets, and she can afford to really be a swing vote now. I must note that Sarah, although she was completely blind-sided this week, had enough decency to say goodbye to everybody, even those who voted her out. Why was that so hard for that upstanding pillar of the community, Eric?
Sarah is so devoted to James, I expected the floodgates to come pouring open when it came time for the Chenterrogation. She asked for some tissues, and Julie told her she had plenty to go around. Ahh, the heartwarming Aunt Julie programming is still there. Julie is keeping the interview short because we have more important things to get to. Cut to the James interview, and Sarah really keeping it under control. James was crying, and I do think we saw a different side of him, at least with regards to their relationship, but was it just me or was there something mechanical about the way he delivered it. I’m not saying it was fake emotion, but it seemed like the pauses were regular and well-planned, like he was reading them off of his hand. As for Sarah, she expects to be with James forever, but like a good girlfriend, doesn’t mention marriage on the air to millions of viewers. Instead, she will go back home, where she’ll watch the tapes of the show, and promptly decide to break up with James after she sees what he said about her.
The Chenbot handshake anticipation wiring was a little early this week
Now it was the part of the show that we have all been waiting for. Well, I guess you guys aren’t really waiting for it in the recap since I already told you about it in the opening paragraph, but god, the anticipation was nearly killing us all in the TVgasm offices. For various reasons, we didn’t start the official viewing until sometime around 9:30 Pacific, meaning that we had to have a complete media blackout or risk hearing a spoiler. We were first treated to the houseguests talking about how much each player would really change the game if they re-entered. The Friendship was positive that Eric would win America’s heart. Ivette once again made it painfully clear. It was Janelle, however, who described exactly what America actually felt about the midget. I would ruin it by trying to describe it in words, so here it is in video form:
Click on Janelle to see how she really feels.
And if that wasn’t good enough, she followed that up by saying “Didn’t America see him storming through the house and throwing tantrums like a small child?!” Janelle, WE LOVE YOU. After picking myself up off of the floor, I was able to listen to the rest, including Janelle pining about Michael.
So, who was coming in the house? It was Michael! That joke might have gone better if I, you know, hadn’t ruined the surprise. No it was Eric. (See two sentences ago). No, it was Kaysar! Actually, it was all three. The three guys sat on a couch next to Julie. The looks on all of their faces when they came in and saw each other was amazing. Michael and Eric sort of made up on TV, although I don’t believe a second of it. But looking at Michael’s face sitting next to Eric, he was so happy to see Eric got evicted after how he acted getting rid of Michael.
Finally, we get to hear who is going in. But first! Julie patches them into the houseguests, and tells them that she is going to read the names of the top two vote getters. Eric was first, and then Kaysar, sending Michael home. I guess America didn’t really care about Janelle’s love story with Michael. The two guys went outside to wait in front of the house, and we got a good look at just how miniature Eric is. If there was an angry, juiced Hummel collectible, they probably used Eric as the model. Julie then shut off the mics and told them that they will see whose exile will end when the doorbell rings. Once again, we are made to wait, this time with Julie becoming Chencrest, and telling us we’ll have the results after the break.
Just as I am about to call my, uh, pharmacist to refill my methadone “prescription,” Julie comes back and tells us that Kaysar wins. Once again, he received 82% of the vote. I am happy to say that TVgasm played a part, however small it may have been, in getting that 82% of the vote. Those are some gaudy numbers. Maybe George Soros should hire us next time he’s looking to buy some votes. For millions less than it takes to run America Coming Together, we’ll be just as effective. (Seriously though, for those that volunteered, keep up the good fight.) But I digress. Kaysar rang the bell, and when he walked in the door, the rest of his alliance went ballistic. There was no “What up Kay-SAR!” chant, but he was basically mugged as soon as he got in, falling back onto the floor.
It was great to see everybody so happy. Janelle was so happy, and you could tell that Howie was already relieved his thinking days are over. Poor James still looked devastated, although if it was because of he lost his girlfriend, or he just realized he actually has no friends anymore, or both, we couldn’t tell. And how about Kaysar? I’m sure all of you ladies crushing on Kaysar must have swooned seeing him smile so much. I think John Sebastian said it best:
Welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out. Welcome back, to that same old place that you laughed about.
Well the names have all changed since you hung around, but the dreams have remained and they’ve turned around.
Who’d of thought they’d lead ya, right here where we need ya? Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.
If you need something to stick in your head the rest of the day, download the whole song here[link fixed].
As if we could take any more excitement in the offices, we also had an HOH competition to deal with. This one was called the “Pressure Cooker.” All of the houseguests were forced into a plexiglass box, but it was more like a gazebo, but whatever. They each had a button, and had to keep their button pressed for the duration of the game. If at anytime your button wasn’t pressed, you would be eliminated. Julie had a relatively difficult time directing all of the traffic inside the little Gazebo, mainly because Ivette couldn’t stop yelling at the top of her lungs about the rules. I though Julie would actually melt Ivette’s mind with her brain until I realized that a) the first rule of robots is not to harm humans and b) Ivette’s brains are scrambled, so would melting them make a difference?
When three people had released their buttons, the door would open and those three could leave, until only one person was left. To make things interesting, after each person was eliminated, they had to open one of nine boxes inside the gazebo, some of them good, some of them bad. Julie opened the first one. No, she didn’t make her way to the gazebo, she used the Go-Go Chenbot HOH remote to open the baby blue box, which was filled with flies. I hope nobody opens the box with the dogs, or the killer bees, or the dogs that bark and killer bees come shooting out of their mouth. That would suck.
So that is where we leave you. Please don’t discuss results of the competition here, even if it is just to say who the first person eliminated was. We really do love our suspense. Use the forums!
I don’t have to ask what anybody thought about Kaysar returning because I know TVgasm readers loved it, but who will win HOH? Without Eric, will Jennifer and April or Maggie, Ivette, and Beau try and break out of the Friendship? Just how dangerous is James?
And one more time, congratulations on a job well done.
69 Comments
I can’t believe that everyone but James voted for Ivette to stay. What happened to Rachel? Did she not let Howie have it for being stupid for not nominating a Friendship person? Hello!?
I hope the Friendship morons take to heart that America gave Kaysar 82% of the vote. I hope they realize the enmity for them out here.
Finally – I was sickened to hear Sarah talk about how wonderful her lying and cheating James is. Women like her give all women a very, very, bad name. Where is the self-respect?
I honestly don’t care who wins now. I just want to see how far the idiocy can take these losers.
So happy with the 82%!
But first. . . .
I thought for sure your recap would include mentioning Eric standing on his TIP-TOES next to Kaysar. That’s right, I watched it 4 times. Right after that screen cap of Kaysar and Eric waiting outside the house. The camera (awkwardly) lingered for a few moments and at one point Eric turns to say something to Kaysar and goes down several inches. It was PRICELESS. I hope someone can back me up!
YEEEAAAHHH!!!
I haven’t been this happy since Romber LOST!!
I though for sure you’d have something about the Howie’s interview in the HOH room and the cliche that he murdered. I can’t remember what it was, but I have it taped so will replay it and post it later.
I wish that Chenbot had told the house that Kaysar got 82% of the vote. It would have been so nice to see Maggot and Ivette’s faces when they realized that their beloved Crappy didn’t even get 1/5th of the votes. Kaysar got over 4/5ths of the votes, split the remaining less than 1/5th between Michael and Crappy.
Rick D.
So happy my Kaysar is back. The “friendship” should realize that their cappy is a jerk. 82 percent, gee, Bush couldn’t even get those numbers!
Congratulations Kaysar! Howie, what an idiot. Too bad you can’t add savant to that.
After a week of BB6 jacking me off, just as I’m about to climax the Chenbot yells not in my face and wait till Saturday to find out who the next HOH will be. You electronic Bitch! Way to leave a brotha with blue balls.
I hope the Dictator or James win HOH. NO SPOILERS PLEASE. I want to find out Saturday!
Howie: “I need Kaysar in the house to think for me”.
Dickwad.
So happy to see Kaysar back in the house. We did it! I couldn’t wait to see interaction between Ka Ka and James but I saw none. Did anyone catch any?
Why didn’t they tell the house that Kaysar got 82% of the votes??
Also, did anyone notice that right after Kaysar entered the house, Ivette was at the doors yelling Eric’s name?? GIVE IT UP!!! AMERICA DOESN’T LIKE HIM!!!
82%!
5 million votes – 82% of 5 million is 4,100,000 – Subtract 1% for Michael (his family had to vote for him right?) this leaves barely 800,000 firemen and various idiots to vote for Eric. In ALL of America! Yeah he stole our hearts all right.
Long live Kaysar!
i think it has something to do with tvgasm’s incredibly wide-spread campaign to get the K man back into the fold.
i only wish i could’ve seen ivette’s face a little more clearly when Kaysar walked through the doors.
PRAISE BE! my faith in humanity has been restored — and who can believe CBS was so incredibly forthright — not only for not forcing Cappy back down America’s throats, but for actually admitting it was a fucking LANDSLIDE!!!!!
and do you think the Chenbot will let that statistic slide at some point? maybe next week during her Fireside Chat with the kids?!?!?!?
The best part of the whole night, other than Kaysar walking back in of course, was the cut between Maggie and Ivette discussing how sure they were that Eric had won America’s heart and Janelle pointing out that America saw Eric walking around throwing tantrums. It was such a brilliant set-up for the 82%. I’m just disappointed that Julie didn’t announce the 82% to the house and then let us watch Ivette and Maggie’s faces in response.
I was a little surprised that there was no screen cap of nutty Ivette in the diary room with her nipple exposed.
I was watching with several people, and at first, I kept feeling like I was seeing something that I shouldn’t be seeing. I was so unsure that I decided not to say anything… but it was eventually mentioned, and we all agree.. if it wasn’t a nipple, it was a shadow.
ADJUST YOUR BATHING SUIT TOP!!! How hard is that?!?!?!
I hope they DON’T tell the rest of the houseguests that Kaysar won by so much. I think there would be a very bad backlash against Kaysar if they found out that he was more popular than any of them. They will find out soon enough when the show is over.
hannah, I don’t think they should tell them that Kaysar has a popularity rating vastly greater than any of their own. But telling them that he is so much more popular than Eric wouldn’t turn anyone against him–those who adore Eric already dislike Kaysar. Telling them the results of only the Kaysar v. Eric popularity vote would just be entertaining for us to watch.
I thought for sure you were going to mention the Chenbot’s malfunctions (unless this was just an East Coast screwup) while giving the directions for the HoH competition.
The audio kept going in and out and I missed half of the instructions.
Speaking of Ivette, how about that stupid tatoo of a star between her breasts? I can’t believe I was looking there, but it was out there in the diary room interview of her and I thought how gross it would be to have had to give her that tatoo.
Rick D.
What Up , Kayyyyysar!
Thank you, TVGasm! I was screamed as I watched last night.
Also priceless: When talking about how she’d react to Eric’s return to the house, Maggie said that she’d have to get past Ivette to welcome him back. Even she thinks Ivette is a little wacko with the Cappy worship…
B-Side boys. In honor of Kaysar how about splashing his beautiful mug on one of those rotating headers. His big, beautiful, smiling mug only…fugget the other folks.
Pat (#16): I think the audio misfires during the HOH rules were due to censoring for swearing by housemates. Everyone was blabbing on as she tried to give the directions, and I could see that CBS was trying to cut out any words that would scandalize our ears.
Damn, damn, damn! Oh, why oh why didn’t CBS throw us a crumb and let us see the faces of “The Friendless” by announcing to THEM that Kaysar got 82% of the vote. I have to confess I was a bit worried because there were some things going for Crappy, such as his being a fireman and married with children, while Kaysar is Iraqi and Muslim and single, which could have counted against him with some of our less understanding brethren. Thank God the basic American morals kicked in and picked the better of the two. I sincerely believe the worst thing Crappy had going for him was the “Friendship” itself, so much so that I would bet a lot of people voted against Crappy rather than for Kaysar, if you know what I mean. I have taken to shouting back at the TV whenever Maggot makes some kind of pronouncement or idiot Ivette bursts out with another Crappy-loving statement. Y’know, it really is weird how a loud, obnoxious bitch like her could create such a cult so quickly. After all, Crappy was only HOH for a week and in the house not much longer, yet this damned fool of a woman worships him and even says she’d buy him a new home if she won. Yeah, right!
One last thing: I was never much of a fan of some of the shows you review until I found your site. You have made BB6 a real favorite for me and I also can’t wait for the next “24″ and more hard perimeters. You guys are F-U-N-N-Y! BTW, I’m probably one of your oldest readers, at 62. Keep up the good work!
Some random observations:
Did everyone catch April talking about voting to evict Ivette? She campaigned for it, and now she’s saying (even in the diary room, which proves that she actually believes her own lies) it was HOWIE who put the idea into her head? HOWIE??? And then she instructs Jen to lie to Maggie so she doesn’t have to? UGH. She must go. And then Howie must go. I don’t even like his name.
Sarah in her little goodbye speech said, “No hard feelings.” HA!
Ivette in her little goodbye speech spoke in complete sentences. I just wanted to point that out.
Sarah in her interview said something about having had a terrible past and that James saved her from it? What is this about? Did anyone get any more of this story in feed? Was she an abused child? (Which would explain her blaming herself for just about everything.) Or was it just, you know, girls being mean to her in gym class?
Looking at next week, I would love to see this scenario:
People keep their promises that James needs to be sent home. They nominate two pawns in order to put up James after the POV competition. The POV competition is one in which no one wins POV (remember, the Chenbot mentioned that there would be some of those this season). James gets to stay despite everyone being against him for two weeks in a row, and one of the pawns needs to be voted off.
That would be priceless!
Of course, this assumes that James doesn’t win HoH this week.
Not a spoiler: just thought I’d let you know that the HoH comp just ended at 10:45 am (EST).
Cmybooboo – When everyone started to head out for the HoH competition, James hung back a noticeably long time. He and Kaysar were the last two to walk out and I’m pretty sure James said, “We have a lot to talk about dude.” But that’s all I heard.
I just started watching this show again last night, but I can’t believe, with maybe two exceptions, how retarded these people are. Or maybe they’re not so much stupid as completely unable to control the non-stop idiotic dialogue going on inside their own heads from coming out their mouths. “Eew, my button is sticky!” “Gross, mine is wet!” “Why is my light green???” It’s like watching a bunch of toddlers …
82%! 5 million votes! of course, we all know that basically can be accounted for by 500 tvgasm readers voting 1,000 times each. and we wouldn’t have it any other way.
poor sarah. i wonder if she can spell ‘co-dependent.’ how about ‘delusional’? maybe she could handle ‘pathetic,’ or just plain ol’ ‘sad.’
as for james’ tearful goodbye: we haven’t seen such an obviously staged performance since marvin’s stint on ‘the young and the restless’ last summer. maybe james really is a different person outside of the house, but i definitely get the sense that he is always on the lookout for a possible upgrade. then again, stepford sarah might be the perfect choice to match james’ gi-normous ego. the only thing in the house bigger than james’ head at this point is ivette’s ass. no wonder they’ve been getting so friendly lately.
oh, what i would have given for a close-up of maggie and ivette’s reactions when kaysar walked through the door! the first glimmerings of the forthcoming shock and humiliation they will feel when they learn how loathed they were by the vast majority of BB watchers once they’re out of the game.
as for cappy, well, i feel a little sad that his wife and kids didn’t get a longer vacation from his psycho ways, but maybe the process of learning that millions of people think you’re a raving dickhead will convince him to lay off the stanazonol and tone down the self-righteousness. either way, thanks, CBS, for giving us a second chance to see eric made to play the fool.
Did anyone notice that the chenbot was wearing body glitter? How old is that woman! body glitter!!! Every tiny robot like move you could see her chest twinkle a little.
Sparky #23- I think Sarah said she was in a 4 year relationship with a guy who mentally abused her and I think she said there might have been some physical abuse as well, but I’m not sure.
sparky (# 23),
apparently, sarah has indicated to others in the house that her last boyfriend before james (whom she dated for several years) was physically abusive.
which probably explains to some extent why she seems so needy, emotionally unstable, and deferential to james. all kidding aside: it’s easy to see why sarah follows james’ lead so closely if she feels that he ‘saved’ her from that situation and/or its aftermath.
J-Unit, as always, fantastic recap!!
Even thou I watch the show religiously, I so love reading your recaps … the snarkiness, the sarcasm, the giggles they insite! Rock (or is that WRITE) on dude!
Ivette is an idiot .. I know that saying that here is like preaching to the choir, but for fuck sake, she and that ever widdening ghetto ass of hers need to go. But I do have to, albeit begrudgingly, admit her concession speech was actually one that made me think she’s not as robotic and unfeeling as she’s lead everyone to believe up to this point. Granted her sick worship of Eric was also some form of proof, but then again, most hypnotists have a way of making dummies do and say whatever they’ve programmed their subjects to.
Beau needs to go. I mean really, he poses no threat, but he’s like the wallpaper in the house .. you know it’s there (sometimes) but you also know that you can redecorate and lose some things and never miss them. Yeah, that’s Beau. The most boring person on tv period. Gay. Straight. Alive. Dead. He’s just boring.
Can’t wait to see wins HOH — if it’s James, we’re in for a bumpy ride this week. If it’s anyone else, let’s just hope that Kaysar reminds the houseguests what strategy is and how to go about performing it, so we can finally get rid of James next week.
Naty & Jack thanks for that info. I was completely in the dark about that.
OK, so I’m partial to Kaysar’s bunch and voted about 300 times for him, but really, the “Sovereign Five?” That’s about as dorky as the “Friendship”. What’sext, embroidered jackets?
wtf: are you an idiot? What part of “Please don’t discuss results of the competition here” did you not understand?
WTF!…Each ONE of April’s tits is bigger than her head. Is that even physically possible??
“If there was an angry, juiced Hummel collectible, they probably used Eric as the model.”
Thanks for the laugh! Going to make the rest of this day just fly by!
i love kaysar..he’s so hot. CRAPPY CAPPY GO HOME!!!!! Ivette is a creepy carpet muncher.
“I hope nobody opens the box with the dogs, or the killer bees, or the dogs that bark and killer bees come shooting out of their mouth.”
When I saw the glass shed, my first thought was “PLEASE GOD let there be BEES”.
AMERICA IS CRAZI!!!!!!!!!!! PLZ wat the hell is wrong wit them? were they drunk wen the voted? lik god who votes for the most manipulative player in the whole game? Watch next week hes gone!!!! THe CAPPY ALLIANCE IS GONNA MAKE SURE!!! and haha SARAHS GONE! JAMES are u gonna cry sum more!! bye laterz
#28 Thank you!! I noticed the glitter on Chenbot’s chest! At first I thought it was wet, but robots can’t get wet so it must have been glitter.
Kaysar is only 24 but he handles himself like a much older man…so poised. It seems sinful how happy I am to have him back in the house..just to watch his beautiful face for one more week and hopefully more. Good riddance, Eric!
WHAT UP KAYSARRRRR
omg i screamed like a teenybopper at an N*sync concert. and that was just the first time he appeared on screen.
i’m the happiest person in the tricounty area.
I second ANTF’s suggestion (#20), let’s have a picture of Kaysar up on one of the banners!
I could not have been happier last night finding out that Kaysar’s fans slayed the competition in getting him back into the house.
But I hate HOH competitions that extend beyond the live show, even though I know they’re inevitable each season. In my head, I envision it coming down to Kaysar and James and some serious bargaining being done.
I also couldn’t take my eyes off Chenbot’s chest, trying to decide whether it was glitter or tiny beads of perspiration from her circuits melting in the sun as she waited for her cue to march into her room.
Great that you pointed out Beau is such an airhead that he couldn’t even get out one comprehensible sentence about pbj vs. desserts. On the “Early Show” this morning, Chenbot’s “secret” scene was everyone looking at Beau’s privates in the shower, then she talked to Sarah, who said something like: “yes, James did swear on the bible, but he wanted to get Howie and Rachel out because they wanted to get them out first”. Obviously, if James told her the sun revolved around the earth, or Clinton was responsible for Enron (wait, he DID say that one), she would believe it.
And anyone notice in Eric’s little speech with Julie he said Eric stands for “Passion Intensity Excitement”, or “PIE”. I thought he was full of “Strength Honor Integrity Trust”.
#9 (CutiePie), I didn’t notice that bit about Ivette…Was she yelling to Eric because she thought he could hear her or because she thought he was coming back in? I think that CBS should bar her from speaking about him anymore. It’s old, annying, and creepy. I don’t talk about my mother as much as she talks about that sh*tbag.
Charity –
Excellent use of the term “Shitbag”
MYL
Heads up to all Big Brother fans in L.A. – My TiVo tells me that this Saturday’s show is preempted on CBS by football but will be shown on KCAL 9 at 8pm instead.
This is not a spoiler, it is conjecture. I don’t have the live feeds so I have not seen who won HOH.
But I think it will come down to Kaysar and one other person and there will be a deal struck, perhaps to go after James but perhaps to go after Ivette or Maggie. I think some members of the “Friendship” could be swayed to go against those two harpies now that Eric isn’t back, Kaysar is, and the Frienship is a sinking ship. And after just getting back in, I would expect Kaysar to stick around that button holding thing for hours.
I don’t even watch the show or care or anything but just b/c of the recaps and comments I voted like 10 times for Kaysar. All hail TVGasm!
Also, FYI, GREAT (positive) article by Andy Dehnart on BB6/Kaysar and the power of the internet at msnbc.com.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8913957/
i just wanted to thank you for your recap.
i was completely nonattentive this week. i was talking to a friend on the phone and decided that the only thing i cared about was seeing if kaysar came back. but then i was kind of depressed that i didn’t see Everything.
but in retrospect it didn’t seem like they said anything important
The Chen-Bot explained…
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/4714135.stm
i think EVERYTHING said on BB6 qualifies as “important.” maybe not “instructions for escaping a burning airplane” important, but at least “evidence of WMDs in Iraq” important.
B-Rock. (#51)
That’s some funny shit.
Re: B-Rock (#52),
Did you notice this quote from the article: “Scientists think that, one day, robots could fool us into believing they were human”? Little did they know that robots already work among us.
The flies were a nice touch. They’re gonna be on April like flies on a corpse. Oops, sorry for the redundancy.
J-unit, laughed my ass off upon reading the Homer sentence! Even though it was a slighly inaccurate quote…..congrats to tvgasm for firing up all the Kaysar supporters. Take THAT, bitches!
I haven’t watched bb this summer because i’ve been too busy, but never too busy to read the awesome re-caps. I watched my first episode of the season by chance and saw that King Kaysar had returned, that was one of the best t.v moments ever (that and waiting to see stupid ivette’s reaction). I voted for Kaysar because tvgasm told me too (and i’m a sad, sad follower). i love you guys keep up the fabulous posts
alright, ya know, i dont want maggie to win either. but you need to back the fuck off with your calling her a baby seal.
she might not be as skinny as like, april, but she is normal looking, not super fucking fat, she has maybe 5/10 lbs to lose
ur being a total asshole, post your photo lets see how svelte you are.
and post your photo of you in a bikini
Does this mean I can get some magnets at half price?
Oh my gawd people … the commentaries were almost as good as the recap!
I loved the line about how people should
keep their promises that James needs to be sent home. This is sooooooo long overdue, it’s sick. Really just fucking ridiculous. I am so loving the idea that the HOH nominate pawns in order to put up James after the POV competition. Now this is strategy. Something that no one other than Kaysar apparently knows about. Brilliant! Loving this concept.
And as for Eric being full of “Strength Honor Integrity Trust” — that’s really fucking funny. True as all hell and just priceless.
Since I spent the last week voting like a maniac for Kayser, I am now having a hard time breaking the voting habit. So now I choose to redirect my energies towards joining the other posters in voting for an all Kayser header.
WhatUP KAYSER!
I missed this show dangit I was too busy watching Sideways, which was a good movie but there was no real ending, any way I’m so mad I def. wanted to see the others when they saw Kayser come in. I just love that man he is the smartest one in that house & he should win the whole thing now because he’s running the whole game himself. I also wanted to see that Sarah get kicked off I really didn’t care who got kicked off cause Janelle kind of annoys me a bit but it must’ve been good to see James cry like a little baby
.
Kayser Rocks
****SPOILER REMOVED****
Honestly, this was absolutely retarded. After specifically asking that nobody give details in the comments, this shit happens. I hope nobody else at your IP address likes to comment.
Help – I am panicking – I was trying to set up the DVR to record BB6 tonight, and I realized here in LA, CBS is going to be showing football instead! How can I see tonight’s episode? Aaaaahhhh!
Beau’s gameplan is not to be stupid- its just to be his stupid self. After the Q & A with Chenbot, we now see why BB does not allow him any airtime. At least Howie is funny/stupid. Beau is just stupid.
Are April’s funbags growing, or is it just me? Does BB allow her into the diary room to inflate them, and if she goes all summer, gaining in cup size, with no one noticing, will she win extra money in our Summer of Secrets?
Shot of Maggot walking outside in a bikini- sweet Jesus that ass is huuuuuuuuge.
Why on earth am I also looking for Chenbot’s camel toe? You folks at TVGasm have damaged me.
Angry juiced Hummel collectible…. BWAHAHAHAHAH
#64: KCAL 9 will air BB from 8-9pm, and I believe KCBS will also re-air the episode at 10pm (or after the game ends).
Kaysar being brought back to the house was about as anticlimactic as an OJ Simpson joke. It was clear that everyone and their mother was whoring themselves to get the Iraqi stud back in the house. I didn’t like how he acted like such a pretentious prick when Chen asked him how he’s act if he goes back into the house. “I’d like to… shake things up. Shake them up like I did before” with a wry smile, give me a break Kaysar.
Giving Sarah the boot was the best plan for the team. They eliminated a strong pair (albeit the weak link of the group). James should be next to go. Maggie did a good thing trying to save ivette. The “friendship” being held together is only good news for her.
I’m glad Cappy didn’t get back just because I know Ivette cried that night to herself. But like I said before I knew the America’s choice was just a way to get Kaysar back into the game to appease his rabid followers. Let’s see how long he can stick around making his classy remarks.
“I’m plotting… a plot… to shake things up.”
jm Are you the idiot? Did I give you any RESULTS of the HoH comp?
“Return of the King” is the most appropriate title you could have ever used for this episode. 82% baby!