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Wednesday, August 24, 2005
3:33 am
75 Comments
What a strange beast Big Brother is. It can make us so happy and optimistic that good will prevail in the universe, and then a heartbeat later dash all our hopes, leaving us with nothing but a dystopian view of our miserable future. Such was the case tonight (and to be fair, at the end of Saturday as well) when Beau-Beau won HOH and once again lit a fire under our favorite alliance, the Sovereign Six (or Sovereign Three, really). All in all, it was a fairly humdrum episode, made interesting only by the continued idiocy that has become a trademark of The Friendship. But hey, at least the Cappy shrine made a triumphant return, and that’s always got to count for a few laughs.Tuesday night’s episode began with the triumphant eviction of Little Jennifer, the one-time wallflower and current public enemy #1. The Friendship, of course, took the loss roughly, with tears and hugs had by all. James, however, didn’t care. “Clears up a cot,” he noted dryly. April, on the other hand, had a much more emotional response. “Hugging her goodbye was so hard,” she explained as we watched her blubbering face bid Jennifer adieu. Why so emotional, April? After all, according to you, you guys didn’t even know each other! Right? Right??
Perhaps the most prescient response came from Howie of all places as he told the outgoing cheerleader, “See you next week, Jen!” Who knew that his little joke might be coming true? Of course, since this was Howie we were talking about, he immediately followed up his comment with a typically naive statement in the diary room: “The house is gonna be a little safer.” For about ten minutes at least. Yes, that’s because our favorite personal shopper won Head of Household, and sadly, we had to watch the whole competition outcome all over again. Why must we relive these painful memories, Big Brother? Why? It was all I could do to not turn the channel while Beau shrieked and squealed like a balloon animal slowly losing air (can we call him Beau-loon now? Eh, might not have enough bite to it).
Of course, all of America felt their hearts sink as it became readily apparent that Beau would be nominating one of our faves. There was no point in even creating misdirection. Beau has been a steadfast follower of the Cappy order, and as far as we could tell, the only independent thoughts that’ve exited his mouth have been the frequent utterances of “Oh my god!!” As a result, all of Kaysar’s depleted alliance felt the bullseyes on their backs, especially Janelle who noted, “I feel like I’m kind of a huge target because I think I told all of America that he’s basically a raging alcoholic and a male prostitute posing as a personal shopper.” If it makes her feel any better, we still hate him. And by the way, since it’s looking a bit grim in the Kaysar Klan department, why don’t we take out our aggression on the CBS polls. Everyone go over there and give everyone in The Friendship a big, fat 1 in the popularity poll. That way, when these dolts exit the house with half a million bucks, they’ll at least have their happiness dampened by the knowledge that America can’t stand them.
Having the Best Week Ever though was Ivette who happily bounced around in the food storage room. Sadly, this also constituted her exercise regimen for the week. Anyway, she was on cloud nine that her little Beau-vine had won HOH, and unsurprisingly, he was psyched too. After all, now he could get revenge on Kaysar’s group for causing him to break out in icky “stress pimples”, not to be confused with his “stress anal herpes”.
In the Gold Room, Rachel and Howie had a little picnic amidst the piles of laundry (or “stress laundry”, as Beau calls it). The two finally admitted that they hadn’t played the game so well in the recent weeks. “We made some critical, critical errors,” bemoaned Rachel. “I take it all the way back to your HOH.” EXXXXXXACTLY!!!! Hey Rachel and Howie: do you hear that? It’s the sound of America screaming, “WE TOLD YOU SO!!!” Oh, I could shake you! I ought to just walk right down to your sound stage and somehow launch a paper airplane into your backyard with a simple note that says, “Thanks for ruining summer, HOWIE!”
If it’s any consolation, there was some mild satisfaction in watching Howie and Rachel eat a fresh batch of humble pie. “We played a bad game,” Howie and Rachel reiterated. Yes you did! I mean, how am I supposed to stand here as a blogger and accuse The Friendship of being idiots when you guys are the ones bumbling left and right? Do you realize all the holes in my argument you’ve created??? I expect apologies! Not you, Janelle. You’re always a-okay in my book.
“I can’t handle it if any one of them wins,” said Janey, subtly implying the demise of her alliance. Listen, no one will be more hurt than the loyal readers of TVgasm. I can guarantee you that.
Janelle expresses her frustration through spontaneous Kabuki theater.
So anyway, with Beau newly installed as HOH, it was time for the household to check out his room. This of course necessitated me lowering the volume on my TV in anticipation of the general Friendship cacophony that results from Beau’s squealing and Ivette’s 150 decibel shouting. Sure enough, Beauvette erupted into the whirlwind of grating noise we had so deeply feared, and as Hearing-Aid stock shot through the roof, we saw that our new HOH had received, as usual, a basket full of snacks (omg), a CD (OMG), pictures of the fam (OMG!!), pictures of his dog Peanut (OMG!!! OMG!!!), and lastly, a slab of rock with the word “Love” glued to it (OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!! SQUEAL SQUEAL!!! OMG OMG!!). Yes, this was Beau’s Love Rock, a symbolic piece of tschotchke that had unsurprisingly found its way into Beau’s heart. “The foundation of our house, the rock that we live on, is love,” he explained. It should also be noted that that rock costs $1.50 in the Duty Free shop of LAX.
WELL, once the Kaysar Klan had put in its perfunctory appearance, then the real Friendship fun began. In marched Ivette with beddings and mattresses and an extra heap of idiocy. You see, whenever these Friendship slumber parties take place, somebody’s gotta bring Cappy’s picture. Just when we thought the moronic deification of this hot-headed, sanctimonious jerk had simmered down, the shrine returned with all its cheesy fanfare. Maggie and Ivette actually conferred over how and where the shrine should stand, imparting such gravity to this ritual that I thought I may be watching cultists. Or at least 5-year-olds playing “House”.
“Cappy’s picture always comes up to the HOH room,” explained Ivette. Not coming up to the HOH room: BRAINS.
Later, a semi-contrite Howie made meager attempts to apologize for his actions last week. When Ivette noted that everyone had kept their composure throughout the game, Howie insisted, “I kept my composure. Just for a couple of minutes I lost it a little bit.” Yeah, just a smidge. But hey. I’m not complaining.
“Hurricane Howie… he’s always simmering out there over the Pacific,” Howie told us. Hey, Mr. Meteorology Student. Hurricanes are only in the Atlantic, jerk. Err, actually, I guess I’m wrong. A quick consultation with Answers.com proves that despite all the wonderful facts I gleaned from my natural disasters class at Dartmouth, I clearly am out of date with my hurricane definitions. My apologies, Sir Howie. (But you still f*cked up this game).
Well, as nominations approached, it seemed like a foregone conclusion that one of Kaysar’s allies would be going up on the chopping block. Or was it? Maggie suddenly was gunning for James again, and for a brief moment, I thought we might get a break. Either way, we watched as Beau deliberated which keys to pull from the wall, and this would have been interesting and stuff, but, um, how you remove the keys from the wall doesn’t really affect the game. JUST TAKE THEM OUT!
Anyway, after the typical keys-in-the-box routine, everyone finally gathered around, and I couldn’t help wondering when Big Brother would downsize its table. Surely it should have happened by now, right? (These are the things I fret about on humdrum Friendship episodes). Well, after Beau announced that the nominations were 75% strategy and 25% personal, everyone pulled their keys from the box (James was safe. So much for that misdirection), and ultimately, Howie and Rachel were put up for eviction.
At this point, Beau launched into a speech that really didn’t make much sense. “In the past, in the Cappy days…” he started. Collective groan. These people talk like it was the Pax Romana. Don’t they realize that the “Cappy Days” were marred by fighting, sexual harassment accusations, and flagrant backstabbing? Actually, the Cappy Days ain’t half bad, now that I think about it.
Nevertheless, Beau continued. He said he put up Howie because he was too much of a threat. As for Rachel, he explained that in the beginning (the Cappy Days), she had been “gray”. But now, “after the past couple of weeks, it’s very apparent that you are very pitch black and very stark white.” Uh, a point please? What does that even mean? I mean, if the situation has become black and white, I understand that. But if she’s become black and white, am I to assume there’s some sort of zebra logic here that I’m completely missing out on? I guess so because the speech suddenly came to a halt after that declaration. I’ll just assume it was a zing and wait for the explanation on Thursday’s live show.
In response to the nominations, Rachel asked, “Does that make me 25 or 75?” Beau said that he felt she was a strong competitor, which is why he put her on the chopping block, causing Rachel to hug him and say patronizingly, “Thank you!” Such passive aggression yielded chuckles here in the TVgasm offices. But in the Big Brother compound, Rachel’s actions were received with nothing but indignation from Miss Manners herself, Ivette. “You SARCASTIC WENCH!” she screamed in the Diary Room. “You miserable old HAG!” Settle down! She didn’t even do anything. Besides, technically, Beau zinged Rachel first (even though it made no sense). She had every right to rebut. But this Spicy Latina (whom Everyone Loves, right?) was already pissed off. Ivette and the gang met in the gym (or food closet, I don’t remember) and began making fun of Rachel. “She’s such a miserable, aging woman,” said Ivette, the miserable, widening woman. She also mocked Rachel’s “horse face” and accused her again of being sarcastic. To be fair, Rachel was only being phony, insincere, and passive-aggressive — not sarcastic. Ivette, on the other hand, was being loud, brash, and stupid. Oh, and we can add hypocritical onto that list too. After all, just moments later, The Friendship reconvened outside where Ivette insisted, “She gets SO NASTY! She gets SOOO NASTY!” I guess, Ivette, we’ll just pretend you didn’t say that whole “horse face” thing two seconds ago. And let’s not forget that Rachel was the one person last week trying to calm down Howie and Janelle. But whatever. She really does get so nasty, what with her pitch blackness and stark whiteness and such.
After Ivette had sufficiently bashed Rachel (she’s already nominated. Way to kick someone when she’s down, geesh!), The Friendship then turned its focus on Beau and his simply wonderful speech. “You were perfect,” stated Ivette proudly. It’s true. He was perfect, assuming his goal was to present a speech that made NO SENSE!
Maggie then did a play-by-play: “Every color you gave her was such a cut-down. You called her shady gray… Then you called her… pitch black. And then stark white.” Zing, zing, and ZING! That black & white bit was priceless! Hey, what do you call a black and white cookie with long hair? Rachel!!! Get it? Get it? Neither do I, but The Friendship thinks it’s HILARious!
Meanwhile, in the Gold Room, James paid lip service to Howie et al. by saying that he wanted to win Head of Household next week and then whisper in April’s ear, “You’re going up next.” Everyone enjoyed the idea (especially the viewers, I’m sure), but Howie suggested a simple blindsiding instead. I don’t care how it’s done, just take out The Friendship. PLEASE. Unfortunately, there’s been a bit of an assumption that the power will conveniently fall back into the hands of the Anti-Friendship, and while that would be nice, let’s not automatically assume Thursday will work out that way. After all, this back-and-forth has been purely coincidental. And judging by my luck, Ivette will wind up as HOH. Man, that would be rough.
Anyway, at long last, the dining room table shrunk to a smaller bite-size, and as they do every year, the house guests all marveled at their new piece of furniture. Man, I always miss that lazy susan. But what’s worse is when this new table gets swapped out for that awkward four-person piece of junk later on. I have yet to see a household that doesn’t have forced conversation around that thing.
Well, the house guests, especially Janelle, congratulated themselves for making it so far in the game, and then it was finally time for the veto competition. Surprisingly, Beau picked James (and to think, I always thought Beau loved the backdoor), Howie chose Janelle, and Rachel selected April. As for the competition, it was fairly straightforward. Various pontoons with house guests’ faces on them floated in the pool, attached to a grate underwater. People had to to detach the floats and place them in one of two columns (think Connect Four), being sure that each horizontal pair represented a secret partnership in the house. It actually was a pretty simple challenge (my wordy description does it no justice). Anyway, the person with the fastest time and all the correct pairs would win the veto.
Anyhoo, Howie went first, swam around, lost his breath, and yada yada yada, his time was 6:20. More successful was James who employed a decent strategy and wound up with a time of 5:47. Next up and wearing a dumb, frilly, granny bikini was April, a.k.a. the anti-Michael Phelps. Recoiling from the water as if she were the Wicked Witch of the West (which she might be), April was a full-on disaster during this challenge. Not only was she inept at swimming and going underwater, but she managed to stumble and fall of a little staircase about two or three times. I guess I shouldn’t make too much fun. I would never expect half her effort from any other 78 year old.
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It’s been years since April put on her bikini.
Well, April clocked in at a lengthy 9:46, and next up was Beau whose clam digger pants he claimed were actually a bathing suit. I haven’t seen too many bathing suits turn translucent the way Beau’s did, but maybe that’s because I’m just a crazy pitch-black/stark-white kind of guy. Nevertheless, Beau’s final time was 6:37.
Up next was the Jiggly Show starring Rachel the Breasty. To be honest, I don’t remember much about Rachel’s tenure in the competition except that with nearly every step, her boobs not only bounced up and down like hyper marionettes, they also seemed on the verge of popping out altogether. Alas, she managed to keep her mammaries out of harm’s way and ended with a time we’d later find out was 8:52 (CBS didn’t tell us immediately. They wanted to build suspense).
Last, but never least in my heart, was Janelle who seemed to be speeding along, but as she went in for her last float, we caught a passing glimpse of the clock. I don’t remember the precise time, but I knew there were about twenty five seconds left. This was going to be tight. Unfortunately, her last pontoon got stuck (it was Beau’s, natch), and it became clear that she would certainly not beat James’s time.
Later, we learned that Janelle’s actually pulled off a time of 5:51, only four measly seconds behind James. Damn you, Beau pontoon!!! Had Janelle won that Veto (or POV, as the cool kids call it), I would have been ecstatic. Alas, it was not meant to be. Besides, what would a veto competition be without James winning it?
Well, everyone returned inside and holy moly! The dining room table was big again! That’s a first! The producers actually moved the big table back in the house! What gives?
What’s that you say? The producers were just manipulating the timeline again? Oh. Well, way to burst my Big Brother chronology bubble!
Anyway, as the show approached the end of the hour, we had our usual speculation about the veto. Janelle feared that James might use it, but we all knew he’d probably let the nominations stand. Nevertheless, it was eventually time for the big Veto Ceremony, and all the house guests gathered, chlorine-damaged hair and all. Janey in particular had the frizz going strong, for once dwarfing Maggie who I’m pretty sure soaks her hair in the backyard pool every morning. Well, surprising no one in particular, James elected not to use his veto, thus ensuring the permanent breakup of Rowie (or Howchel). “The girl scout troop would have gone nuts,” explained James, thus adding yet another patronizing term (behind Nerd Herd) to the cluster of twits that make up The Friendship.
I’ll be somewhat sad to see Rachel or Howie go, if only because it diminishes the chances that Janelle has of winning the big prize. More pressing for me is the Head of Household competition, a weekly tradition that seems to have taken on grave importance this year more so than any other. Viva la anti-Friendship!
Who do you think will get voted off? And who do you want to be the next HOH?
TV Social
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75 Comments
I’ve never posted before, but after seeing April in her tutu inspired bikini, I just lost it. My entire season has been made!
Her comments about a skinny girl being out of shape were priceless! Her obvious post delivery stretch marks were too much for me to take. After I lost my dinner, I realized Pepperoni must have been one huge baby.
Now, if I could just program my TIVO to automatically mute Beau…
Go, Janey!
It killed me when Ivette went on and on and ON about Rachel being a sore loser…
Rachel, after noms: We made some big mistakes. I want you guys to vote for me because I want Howie to have it.
contrast that with…
Friedship, after any of them gets nommed: They are so EEEEEvil! I can’t believe how eeeeevil they are! Oh Cappy where are you!?! Don’t look at them, and we’re going to pout!
Hypocrites, every last one.
As a side note, I believe (after reading the live feed recaps) that the shady/gray/black/white thing wasn’t even Bo-Bo’s idea. It took all of them to come up with that “zing”.
Excellent title B-Side!
I was singing it within seconds of Beau’s ridiculous utterance.
I swear every single one of the girl scouts are so grating it’s hard to figure out who I hate the most!
Just when I thougt I was out…they pulled me back in! Having realized the S3 (I still think that name is as dorky as “The Friendship”) have no chance after Beau winning HOH I was ready to watch National Geographic or some such. Still, I found my remote switching to CBS at 9 PM. Damn you! It was worth it, just to watch the looniness of the Sheep. No, scratch that; I mean the looniness of all in the house. As the power swings back and forth they all act like manic-depressives. They’re up, they’re down, they’re up…Oh, oh! And April’s 1960s “bikini” was worth the price of admission! What a ridiculous woman!
Unless Janey and Howie can win HOH and POV every week they’re goners. Well, HOH would be sufficient. That would mean Howie would have to become smarter (hah!) or in better shape (Hee hee) and that ain’t gonna happen, Beuauba. So, it looks like first Howie, then Janelle hit the street and then James, which will leave the 4 members of the Girl Scout Troop. Great name! Then April goes, which leaves Ivette and Beau to pick off Maggot, which means the most hateful Cuban I’ve ever met (I am Cuban) and the sissiest of all queens (not that there’s anything wrong with THAT) will win the mil. Damn!
When James wins this game I am going to sit back and have a long hard laugh at the expense of all the sheep who just keep carrying him along never realizing he is the biggest threat in there.
And grr…Ivette keeps ripping on Rachel’s age conveniently forgetting that April is clearly WAYYYYYYYY older than Rachel.
I am so sad that Beau did not put up James and Janelle. I Can’t wait for Janey-(puke) to go home. James is playing all of them, if the two teams were smart, they would all vote to evict James..
I have to share this brief conversation. Bear in mind Mrs. Papercuts has no clue about the Houseguests’ various backgrounds.
Me: How old do you think she (April) is?
Mrs. P: I don’t know…40?
Ivette’s hypocrisy over Rachel being upset at being nominated was revolting. As many times as the whore core, as I call them since at least one of their members is Beau, have cried and bitched about being nominated, for Ivette to call Rachel out for her passive aggression is mind-boggling. I think being in the house makes the hg’s lose all perception of themselves, but it makes for great TV!
in rachel’s defense: way back when howie was HOH and basically ruined the game for all of us, rachel strenuously objected to howie’s refusal to target the friendsheep or at least to backdoor james, reminding him that james would have a good chance of taking himself off the block, and insisting that james & sarah would not sell them out until after they’d thinned the so-called nerd-herd’s numbers. so when she said ‘we made some mistakes,’ that was just a polite way of saying ‘you blew it, howie.’
sadly, this almost certainly means curtains for rachel, who, after james and pre-eviction kaysar, has played the smartest game. she will be the casualty of her partner’s stupidity–howie made the fatal errors, and will escape eviction because rachel is so obviously the brains of the partnership. at this point, strategy is worthless for everyone but james, the only player left who isn’t cast in ‘pitch black and stark white.’
on that subject: has there ever been a more annoying alliance in reality TV history than the friendship? we have beau, whose one contribution to this season has been the criminal overuse of the word ‘fabulous;’ maggie, who crows about her decency one second and then joins in on the slander-fest of whomever the friedsheep have decided to hate for the week the next; ivette, whose enormous ass is only slightly bigger than her ego and her mouth; and april, who may be the single most worthless, annoying, and pathetic reality TV contestant of all time.
maybe janelle will find a miracle, but right now, i’m banking on james to be the one to stick it to the nerd herd.
“I can’t handle it if any one of them wins,” said Janey, subtly implying the demise of her alliance.
My sentiments exactly.
Although I thoroughly enjoy everyone ripping on April’s heinous bikini (shudder, dry heave), it did serve a practical purpose: those extra fringes on the bottom concealed the latest in geriatric swimwear…the Osteo-Waffle(TM). It’s a microfoam that buffers all sudden impact. How else can you explain how she fell so many times without breaking her hip?
Get rid of the frilly stuff, please. It looks real bad. Ugh.
Is it me, or are there a lot of props on this show, half of which involve pictures of the contestants? I mean the small circular table with the keys(that you have to carry over) is pretty elaborate. That makes the wall with the keys you stick in it seem trivial.
April’s frilliness was the best laugh of the night. Beau’s use of the phrase ‘Cappy Days’ was a distant second.
Love the Beau language: Beau-loon (definitely) and Beau-vine (moo!). How about Beau-tox? Is it safe to say that Howie Beau-lew the game when he was HOH? And what could possible be the opposite of a Beau squeal and Beau OMG? Why a Little Beau peep, of course! Beau-ne Ape-a-tit!
ha!
P.S. Spontaneous Kabuki theater! Priceless!
Someone pointed this out after Saturday’s show, and it’s sad but true: even if, by some miraculous string of HOH and POV victories, Howie, Rachel, or Janelle manages to stick around, they won’t have a chance in the end against a cult member if the final 2 is one from each group, because there will be enough cult members on the jury to make sure the cult wins.
I’ve liked Rachel well enough all along, but when she so honestly and accurately admitted that they permanently screwed this whole game up when Howie was HOH, I decided I like her more. She’s smart. Sadly, not smart enough to preempt Howie’s stupidity when he started making deals with Maggie and getting obsessed with destroying Sarah and James before destroying the cult, just as K wasn’t smart enough to survive after not one but two chances. That’s what’s so frustrating–the smartest players with the most honest and logical opinions of their own games can’t win. And someone like Maggie who actually thinks she’s morally perfect could win. Ugh.
I suspect that April dresses up her dog pepperoni in a similar bikini, when they go to the beach.
The crappy shrine really creeped me out. The nerd herd/girl scout troop is totally mental.
I suspect Rachel is gone. Howie isn’t smart enough to win an HOH, so its up to Janelle or James, to dismantle the Friendship.
Couldn’t believe the high fives they were giving each other following the singlemost idiotic eviction ceremony speech ever. Criticizing Rachel for looking befuddled, but, er, what the hell else do they expect when Howie gets a straightforward explanation and she gets some “you’re all shady grey, but now pitch black… and stark white” inanity.
Also hated the way they were commending Beau for carrying out the nominations without causing offense. All this “being HOH automatically makes you a target” griping is ridiculous. No, it doesn’t, dumbasses! It’s the lying, er, “breaking your word” part that does.
And LOVED Beau’s explanation of his completely idiotic strategy for the veto competition.
I’m really bummed that Rachel is almost certainly going to be evicted next. She truly is one of the smartest players. But I’m glad that it’s not Janelle because we need her bitchy, sardonic wit around to keep things interesting.
I’m so glad that Rachel pointed out that Howie’s reign as HOH was where all the trouble started. It’s seriously the truth. He fucked it all up.
How many of the chics on this show do you suppose have breast implants?
Did anyone else notice that Beau is a really bad public speaker? Like, he talks way too fast, has zero articulation and garbles all his words up. He is by far the worst in the house. Wasn’t he the only one who had to read from a card during the choosing of the partners for the veto competition? Seriously. It’s not like he hasn’t heard that exact same speech ten times before or anything. All of America knows exactly what gets said, and in what order, by now – he sure as hell should. He probably needed the card because his brain is so fried from doing coke off old man asshole.
I couldn’t stop laughing last night when I just happened to be channel surfing and came across Howie on “Blind Date”…………!!!!!!!!!
He was even more of an ass on that show than he is on BB6. Of course at the end, when it became apparrent that he had totally alienated his date, he had to open her door and yell something nasty to her as he was leaving………just like he does on BB6 !! He did nothing on the date but talk about himself and what a wonderful catch he is. I was rolling on the floor before it was all over. He even had the host of the show against him !!
It’s obvious that Howie is a TV wannabee….guess BB6 will be his claim to fame for the rest of his life. Too funny………
I just have to add, that Love Rock is plastic, and about $6 at Wal-mart.
Also, Beau’s family looks like $20 whores. But Howie likes that.
On CBS.com, it says that April is 31 years old. Does anyone know the old hag’s real age? You’d think by now that thesmokinggun.com would have turned up some sort of 19th century documentation on her or something…
when ivette was talking about rachel — “She gets SO NASTY! She gets SOOO NASTY!” — i expected her to follow up with “she’s almost as nasty as that osama bin kaysar!”
guess cbs must have edited that part out.
ugh, i hate her.
the only hope that the anti-friendship has if it’s one of them vs. a girl scout at the end is if there is another ‘secret’ that allows either america or ALL the previous houseguests to vote! Either that, or allow the evicted ones to see the live feeds so they can see how their ‘friends’ plotted against them behind their backs!
Speaking of the “secrets”, what happened to them? I thought this season was going to be wild twists every week, but recently all we’ve gotten is ‘oohh, we’re evicting 2 people this week’…lame! that’s not a ‘secret’ that’s a twist to the game!
When I heard Beau refer to the “cappy days,” I had another song running through my head (although the Happy Days theme song is funnier.) I immediately thought of the song “Glory Days”–Cappy Days, they’ll pass you by, Cappy Days, in the blink of a (not so) young girl’s eye (that would be April, of course.)
What ever happened to the other two safes in the Gold Room? It seems that everyone was so disappointed with the PB&J pass that they’ve just given up on opening them. And what’s with no food challenge again? Janelle has only had to use the pass once since she won it. Is CBS getting so involved with the fighting in the house that they’ve forgotten about all the other secrets and the regular format of the show?
Rick D.
i loved how Ivette accuses Rachel of being a sore loser, when the whole NERD HERD didn’t even go up to see Janelle’s HOH room 3 DAYS AGO!!!!!
I also loved when Janelle’s key was pulled out she went “Oh, thanks…I guess”…classic bucket of cold water…
I hope that the HG were awakened to Michael Jackson’s “Black or White” or “Ebony and Ivory” this morning, after Beau-job’s nonsenisical speech…
“Not coming up to the HOH room: BRAINS”
Lovesit!
Great recap. I finally broke down and subscribed to the live feeds. Worth every penny. Go Janey and Howie!
Do you happen to know if it was in the rules that they had to pull the cords off the disc before putting it in? If you use your TiVo to pause when they show James’s completed project before he hits the buzzer, you can see that the yellow cord is still attached to the disc. If he had taken the cord off, it may have taken four seconds, and Janelle would have won.
Aprils bathing suit served its purpose. If she was waering a thong we could see the Depends…
Mark, I’ve read that there was some controversy over that very issue, but the producers ruled that James hadn’t broken the rules and his win stood.
alright, after watching this less-than-stellar episode, i couldn’t sleep and happened to catch an old “Blind date” episode at, like 1 in the morning. and who was the love-challenged man on the episode? none other than our very own hurrican howie! it was amazing!!
and he was using the same schtick he is using now! he was going on and on about “when hurricane howie dates a girl…”. i mean, i’m the biggest anti-nerd herd one out there, but please play up a different aspect of yourself!
by the end of the BB6 episode, with howie referring to himself in the the third person for like 10 minutes, i was expecting the BB6 deep-voice man to come on and be liek “who will be evicted….rachel? or hurrican howie?”
it’s killing me!
Great re-cap, B-Side. I love the title! I thought I was going to puke when that idiot, Beau, referenced the “Cappy Days”. And his “zebra logic” (as you so adeptly called it) mad no sense whatsoever.
By the way, I think the reason April sucked so bad in the Veto Comp was because they wouldn’t let her use her walker in the pool.
the fiendship is so delusional. They bitch and bitch about people saying things behind their back and then attack them on the most lame things. (all of this done in private of course…fucking hypocrites)
I really really wish I could be a fly on the wall when all of these self important nerds (ya Ivette..I called you a nerd… what are you gonna do about it?? huh? huh???) get out of their “we’re the bestest” fantasy bubble and realize just how vile people think they are. And how every racist, jingoistic, ridiculous thing they have said in the house has been captured and typed out for all to read.
I can’t wait until James walks away with the entire pot.
It’s been a while since I have laughed as hard as I did last night when Yapril emerged from the house in her frilly panties. Good GOD woman. What the hell were you thinking when you purchased that??
GIRL SCOUT TROOP!!! HA HA HA
“Yes, this was Beau’s Love Rock, a symbolic piece of tschotchke that had unsurprisingly found its way into Beau’s heart.” LOL
The Friendship must be the most idiotic group of people ever to find their way on a reality show. Why in hell were they praising Beau’s speech?!? It made absolutely no sense. I mean, hearing the 75/25 bit I thought, OK, let’s see where he goes with this, it might be interesting. But then he went for the colors metaphor which was just inane. I mean, did he simply mean to say that Rachel’s true colors have been revealed? Or that she is more of an enigma than before (being black and white simultaneously)?
I enjoy following a logically flawed narrative as much as the next person, but Beau’s speech was that rare species of utterance that turns upon itself and says nothing in spite of employing a whole bunch of rhetorical devices.
I have the same song as Ashes ( Post 23 ) in my head since Beau-Bo said ” Cappy Days “. Damn you Bo !!
Looked up in my Bible and it says – In the beginning, during the Cappy Days, God looked down and said to himself ” What have I wrought?”
Unbelievabel self important, delusional, annoying people in that Friend-shit !!!
Can there be a coup and the HoH overthrown?? Viva la Revolution!!!
OOOPS !! Forgot to say I will going on Ebay to see if I can find ” Love Rocks ” so I can start building my “House Of Love Everyone ”
( H.O.L.E. )…
Oh my gosh, B-side! I had to comment before even finishing half of your fantastic post (best one ever, BTW). I would hate to be the person who pisses you off….catty!! But, alas, I love it. I will ruminate all day on the visual of Beau-vine slowly deflating like the balloon animal he is. The hypocracy of the “Friendship” grows more intollerable each day. I do despise Ivette and her continual rants about how “evil” Rachel is (ah, has Rachel done a single, evil thing this entire game??? She’s nearly above reproach!). Here’s hoping for the inevitable blood bath that is the Friendship once our beloved Sov’s get voted out…and then to their shock and horror upon reentry into the real world and the loathing that awaits them(a shock that Cappy must realize anew each waking morning).
“…Ivette noted that everyone had kept their composure…” – Like when she flew off at Kaysar? or when Crappy tried to bite Michael’s knees?
“…Beau deliberated which keys to pull from the wall…” – It looked like he was trying to figure out how he was going to put them in the box, and pulled them in order, so he woouldn’t mess up between then,and when he got to the box. Beautard is not bright.
How DARE Rachel be snide after Beautards attempt to insult her with a vague, unexplainable reference!
It is time for the self-important, deluded, holier-than-thou, smug Friendsheep to eat each other.
This show gets harder and harder to watch. I don’t know where my emotional involvement started, but I hate those bitches more than I have hated anyone since Donald Sutherland in “Lock Up”.
This is the first season of BB I’ve ever watched and if Ivette, Beau or April win, it will also be the last!
shit, after a few episodes of relief, ivette goes back to being the biggest cunt ever on reality tv. how in the hell do these people not vote her out? or just kill her?
I think I may have made sense of Beau-ring’s idiotic and unfabolous speech: At first she was gray (meaning they couldn’t tell if she was good or bad-neutral) but then she seemed white-She seemed good. But then her true colors came out-black (totally unfaboulas). It’s dumb but the best idea I can think of.
Except that in the speech, black comes first (although, the implication does seem to be that she is both black and white simultaneously). Also he says she is stark white as though it’s just as bad as “pitch black”. Which is also implied in Maggie’s reenactment of the speech in which she mimed out each colour having the effect of a punch in the face.
I still haven’t a clue.
#41: I love that someone finally came forth with a theory about the dumb colors speech. Cuz honestly, that’s probably the best one we could come up with. I think it’s only clear to the people breathing the recirculated “l’aire du dumbass” in that house. But…did he say white, then black? Or black…then white?
somehow, if white’s what ended it, it just doesn’t seem ominous nor zingy. In order for it to be a zing, people, the zinged party has to REALIZE it’s a zing! And Rachel doesn’t seem that dumb.
…confirming, of course, that we’re all brilliant and Beau-tard (love that one) is not!
I hope there’s some explanation from the Nerd Herd about the black/white speech.
Beau’s dress sense! How remarkable. Does he not always have the collars up on his shirts? It is so 1982 preppy and just dead tired. Would you hire him to be your peersonal shopper? How much of a stretch is that job seeing as he identified Ivette as having the best style sense in the house! Janelle hit the nail on the head when she called him a prostitute (I’d prefer the much more descriptive term ‘hustler’ or how about ‘bottom trade’). And dearest Ivette actually agreed that Janelle was right!
Actually Tuesday’s was a bit of a snoozer with the inevitable nominating of H/R. Too bad next to Kaysar, Rachel is my favourite.
Yep. I totally blame all this fallout on Howie. Glad Rachel pointed that out to him. I’m begining to give up hope that Howie or Janelle can win the whole thing, especially w/ the jury of girl scouts.
Let’s pray that the last SUMMER SECRET is America’s Choice of who wins. Thats all the hope I have left. Or maybe james…his dry wit is begining to charm me once again.
Did he go to Georgia Southern? He’s always wearing those t-shirts.
If you are grey, then you turn black and white at the same time-aren’t you still grey?
I couldn’t even bear to watch it. I saw it recorded on my tivo and just deleted it.
I will get my big brother fix from your recaps from now on.
Unless someone in the sovereign.. er, 2… gets HOH.
My first thought upon seeing April’s “bikini” was “What, is this chick 4 years old, or why is she wearing a toddler bathing suit that looks like it has a Huggies Little Swimmer diaper in it?!?”
I also have to note that April was calling the other group members immature when Janelle was jumping up and down about winning HOH, yet Blow, I mean Beau, was doing the same thing!
Bo-Bo Black Sheep Bye Bye !!
B-Side — excellent recap as usual!
How sad and screamingly funny was April in that ruffle butt bathing suit that looks like it was made for a 6 year old?! Has the crypt keeper completely lost her mind?! Oh the horror.
And seriously, in the history of TV has there ever been a gay man as BEAU-RING? Seriously. He is like a big chocolate sleeping pill.
Mrk – all the other HGs said they were told they had to remove the rope from the chips. BB did not tell this to James, so he didn’t break BB rules. I want to know why BB conveniently forgot to tell James of this rule?
With another America’s Choice coming on Thursday (it will not be to return somebody), I wonder what I want to see. Do I want James gone b/c I can’t stand him, or do I vote to break up Ivette/Beau pair? (If that is the Choice we get)
It is all too sad since a Sheep will win the big prize no matter what happens now. They all owe Jen for this since the balance of jury members was decided with Kaysar’s eviction.
Believe it or not, Janelle still has a shot of winning the game. First of all, Ivette can’t win HoH next week or its all over for the sovereigns. Here’s how the weeks should go if the friendship is to be destroyed.
Week 8 – Rachel Evicted
Week 9 – Howie or Jani HoH. (It would also be safe but a little risky in the long run if Maggie or April wins HoH. They would most likely go after James to improve their individual chances at winning) Ivette Evicted.
Week 10 – One of the Friendshit HoH. James Evicted (Without Ivette, James will become the main friendshit target again and with the Friendshit HoH this week, it would be alot easier for the Sovereign 2 to win it next week)
Week 11 – Howie or Janie HoH. Maggie Evicted
Final Four: Beau, April, Janie, Howie.
Janie and Howie would most likely get in the Final 2 with this Final 4 scenario and Janelle would win the cash.
Can’t stand it, the majority of the “friendship” is too nausiatingly American for this Brit. Loved US BB but now I’m loathe to watch it but I have to, at least until Janelle is gone at which point I think everyone will lose interest. GGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I HATE THE FRIENDSHIP DO PEOPLE LIKE THAT ACTUALLY EXIST? I MEAN REALLY? I THOUGHT THEY WERE FABRICATIONS OF THEN BRITISH MEDIA, THE CRAZY BUSHITE RIGHT, I’M SO GLAD I KNOW SOME REAL AMERICANS, LIKE KAYSER.
Anybody else catch that Ivette is now wearing Maggot’s skirts to hide her fat ass? Bwahahaha- I knew it would happen.
Cappy days? Cappy days? WTF is wrong with you deluded idiots?
CBS let Ivette say tough titty on tv. WTF is wrong with them?
Beau wins the award for most BORING reality tv person EVER. Nothing that comes out of his mouth is worth devoting any airtime to. Marcellus 1.0 was at least a drama queen that was somewhat funny to watch. I thought Beautard’s picture from home was his 2 transvestite friends, and choked on my drink when he said they were his mother and sister.
April’s gut looks bigger. It must be difficult to exercise with her walker.
My Janey still has a chance, though it is a slim one at best.
okay, i don’t know what i am more annoyed by, the last post or what had better not be a freakin spoiler by ed
sorry plastic love rock, i was referring to the excessive use of caps when i said “last post”, not you.
No spoilers, Idini. The veto comp aired and the result was the result. The America’s Choice info I gave is from a CBS press release. No secret.
Ed -
no go on that explanation. BB didn’t read the rules to them for this competition. They rules were written on paper that each houseguest read before competing. Rewatch the tape.
And, insert drumroll, James is the one that confessed to everyone that he didn’t follow the rules on the last two discs. He didn’t remove the ropes. He went around the house telling everyone.
Think about it..they didn’t see each other compete.
He admits he cheated (his words), and still BB does nothing after the others ask about it in the Diary Room.
James, who I hated before, is starting to grow on me with his total disdain for everyone and his loyalty to his departed partner. Also, while Janelle comes off as a ditzy blond, her spirit and good nature are refreshing; alsod she is smarter than she appears.
And again (and I bitched about this with some of the Apprentice episodes), of all the black guys in the world, is Beau the best that can be found? Are we all gay and inconsequential? It just gets annoying when they use the “black slot” for either gay black male baffoons or angry black male baffoons. Apparently we are all in jail or busy running off to South Africa and ruining our $50 million dollar comedy contracts (David Chappelle you idiot), and the only free black male left in America (at all times) is gay AND a bad dresser.
As for all the women, I do have to say this this episode did very well in boob casting. Notice that? All the women (and Howie) had really round and jiggly boobs. So while you can pull your hair out at how most of them were mental boobs, you can soften the blow by admiring the quality physical boobs. Obviously the casting directors were really fixated on assets below the neck.
I will be sad to see Rachel go, and I also liked Kasar, but, when you really look at his play, he was incredibly nice, but stupid. You get back into the game on a fluke, and you are inches from HOH and you cut a deal with the opposition. Uh, right.
“Hitler, if we do nothing, do you promise not to invade, like, France?” “I svere on zour muzzer’s life,” says Hitler.
Whoa! Has anyone seen nude pics of Janelle from a recent Playboy? Yowza! Please go here:
http://www.livejournal.com/community/__bigbrother6/155845.html#cutid1
Go, Janey!
zia, per post #54, you may not have been paying attetion, but the majority of American viewers who are watching BB hate Eric, Ivette, April, etc. just as much as you do. So you can’t say those players are somehow represetantives of all Americans or even of all conservative Americans if the majority of Americans disagree with them. Ivette and Beau are gay, so they most likely would not identify themselves with conservative America, so how is it that you think of them as examples of Bush supporters? That just doesn’t make any sense. Kaysar is a devout Muslim, which means he is probably fairly conservative on many social issues like abortion, which would make him a lot like conservative religious Americans who were a large chunk of the Bush voters. Basically, your idea that the people you dislike in a tv game must be examples of all Americans is wrong, and your idea that anyone who is conservative from a religious standpoint must be a monster of the media’s creation also makes no sense.
Does Ivette realize that she comes across as the biggest bitch EVER? Why so much hate for poor Rachel? I don’t get it.
I’ll be sorry to see Rachel go. Howie and Kaysar fucked it all up for the S4.
Now let’s see if Janey is smart enough to outfox James.
How much you wanna bet that Beau has done coke of his Love rock?
I’ve said it before and ill say it again, Ivette is scum. For her to call other people nasty is amazing. If you heard some of the tings she’s said about other players in the house on the feeds it would make your jaw drop. She’s gotten so bad she’s been warned by the producers. Think of the most vile, racist, bigoted insults imaginable, and they’ve come out of this slags mouth.
Rachel’s beautiful boobies were great. They look real too. I like boobies.
Also, James left 2 ropes on his last faces which was against the rules. The houseguests tried to get him disqualified (rightly) but it didn’t stand.
Why wouldn’t the producers enforce the POV rules and give it to Janelle as runner-up? The show doesn’t gain anything by letting him win if he broke the rules, and in fact, Janelle having veto power would increase the drama and strategizing and be more entertaining to watch. Surely if the rules clearly stated that ropes had to all come off, the producers wouldn’t interfere with the rules for his sake when it’s not going to boost ratings.
Feed Watcher – The explanation I wrote came from the HGs, via posts from folks on Joker’s Updates. I wasn’t there and I’m happy to concede your point.
We are in agreement, I suspect, that BB consciously turned a blind eye to the cheating and that Janelle may well have won without the cheating.
If I am Janelle, or a part of the S3, I am most definitely suing CBS when I get out. As a viewer, I am making notes to be sure I do not buy products from BB sponsors, and I am making a point to bad -mouth the show to my friends and acquaintances.
I believe CBS will rescend James Power of Veto Live tonight and give it to Janelle. . .It’s fairly obvious that even CBS is anti-Friendship just like the rest of us, and giving the Veto to Janelle would make all of us Janeyacs psyched for at least a few more episodes. . .
Wow, I wasn’t aware of the veto controversy until I read about it here. If James lost it and Janelle won it, she would save either Howie or Rachel (and she can’t be the replacement.) However, the f-ship cult is likely to still vote for either Howie or Rachel (whichever one Janey saved), especially if it happens live and they have no time to discuss voting out James instead. Or Beau might put up one of his own people knowing that she will be safe and that Howie/Rachel is a goner. Ultimately, I doubt it could effect the outcome much.
I just looked at joker’s updates, a site I learned about on here. Can one of you more experienced BB fans tell me what “fish” means? I can tell from the context it has something to do with the feeds being cut off or what they are saying in the house being unintelligible, but why does that happen? I thought the feeds were 24/7.
they cut to a shot of the fishtank during veto ceremonies, if fights break out, or of the conversations are about people outside the house who havent signed releases.
They cut to fishtanks everytime Ivette called kaysar a terrorist. So it happened a lot….
FISH = BB producers don’t want you to see what the houseguest are doing/planning so they cut the live feed and go to fish (the fishtank in the BB house). If you buy the live feed, CBS places a disclaimer that says they can cut to fish whenever they want without notice or worry of being sued by the duped payee.
This POV thing reeks of Marvin from last season.
CBS should stick to enforcing their rules. A few seconds of pulling on a string is a long time. It takes me thirty seconds to pull my strings.
After watching Beau’s speech I was reminded of that line from “Billy Madison”:
“What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.”
One of the reasons I like BB so much is because it works hard, through the live feeds and live TV segments, to let us know that the producers mess with the process as little as possible (except for saving April’s life through fake food challenges and suspiciously-timed America’s Choice votes). But it doesn’t seem quite right for the producers to choose to let James walk away with this.
I want to know why BB didn’t let Janelle take HOH photos or write a log for the CBS site. She would no doubt have had interesting things to say. Meanwhile we have several dozen nauseating photos from the previous HoH still up and running.