Sitting Pretty in Pink?

It’s week four of Big Brother All Stars, and I am going to say something I never thought I would say this early in the game. I am sick of Season Six. There, I said it. Hate me if you want to, but that’s the truth. I liked them last year because they were smart and tough underdogs. This year, they have let the power get to their heads and have become a little stupid in their day-to-day decisions. However, Janey is once again in power, and if there is anybody out there that can restore our faith in Season Six, she would be the one. Kaysar and James didn’t have the balls to take out Chilltown, so it’s up to Janey to show us who really wears the pants in that alliance, even if she’s also wearing five-inch stilettos and a halter at the same time.As you know, I really can’t stand the stupid interviews that people give after somebody is nominated. There isn’t one single person that can complain about Jase leaving the house because EVERYBODY voted him out. Boogie said that Jase had the same fighting spirit that he did, but apparently that wasn’t enough for a vote. Kaysar said that it was heart wrenching. Heart wrenching? It might have been easier for Kaysar if had had, I don’t know, VOTED FOR JASE to stay. Danielle said that it’s times like that when you really hate the game. No, you REALLY hate the game when you are voted out. She even went so far as to defend Jase when people started questioning his integrity, saying that she won’t let people drag his name in the mud, but vote him out? That’s probably OK.

This is already getting way too old.

And Diane, what does she have to say for herself? First, she said there was no Mr. and Mrs. Smith (and while I have been arguing her point, I’m doing that just to get people worked up), but she also said it was hard to see Jase go. Again, it might have been a little easier if had a sympathy vote or something. Then again, choosing between Will and Jase was like choosing between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Cruz Bustamante a couple of years ago; if both people kind of suck, choose the one with more plastic surgery.

Will continued with his shtick that he was upset about leaving and that Jase didn’t deserve to go, and he is right to be drawing attention to that. If you are a jury member and it comes down to James and somebody else, you are probably less likely to vote for the jerk that backdoored somebody to win a half-million.

Meanwhile, James trying to explain the rationale behind backdooring Jase was kind of weak. He said it was Jase’s fault for throwing the HoH competition, and not taking the veto competition to the end. In all honesty, what James did to Jase was more of a blindside than a backdoor. Still, just because the semantics were different and the technique a little more complicated doesn’t mean it hurts any less. Jase still feels like he was screwed over by somebody that he trusted. And yes, it may hurt now, but Jase should feel lucky. At least his breakup isn’t going to require him to learn new words like restraining order, joint custody, or Valtrex.

Now you may think that Jase sucks, and I still think he was the wrong choice to target this week, but you have to admit his plan to call people out seemed to have worked. Marcellas is finally in the game, and he was saying good riddance to bad rubbish, whether that rubbish be Jase’s attitude or non-salon hair products that have been taking space in the bathroom. Marcellas can say all that he wants about Jase’s attitude, but the reason why he hated Jase so much was that Jase tried to throw Marcellas under the bus, which is a threat to him. By the way, I think I am sick of people saying “Threw me under the bus”, so instead I am going to say, “Threw me under Sally Struthers”. It’s just as painful, but a lot more fun to say, don’t you think?

Anyway, it sucked for Jase to have to leave the way he did, and even James acknowledged that. Howie, on the other hand, was much less sympathetic, and didn’t want James to question his decision. Last year, I would have said that Howie hates Jase because Jase is more buff than him, but this year’s different. Yes, Howie is still upset that Jase is more buff than him, but Howie is actually playing pretty smart this year. Besides, like Howie said, “you can’t have your corn and eat it too”, which may sound dumb and we all know the saying is talking about cake and not corn, but they liked to make fun of Jase for the way he ate his corn, and, well, OK, Howie’s still kind of dumb but we forgive him.

Some people may not like that I just threw Season Six underneath the Sally Struthers, but I still have some love. I think they are all good players, but the only one I really want to win the money is Janey, and so I was more than happy when she won HoH. Diane made a good point that Season six makes fun of the Friendship so much, she is surprised that they don’t realize that they are becoming the Friendship 06. While it is getting a little boring how much of a team they are, I could never call Season Six the Friendship 2 (Two, too?). Most of them could survive in the game on their own, and while the sense of entitlement is reaching that D-list celebrity trying to get into a hot bar level, they are much more like the Four Horsemen than anything else.

Before we saw Janelle’s HoH room, we were treated to a quick segment that showed Janelle flirting with Dr. Will. Dr. Will had one of the most famous “showmances” in Big Brother history when he was paired up with Shannon, and it worked well for him. Now, I saw Janelle seemingly get cozy with Jase, and while I think Dr. Will is a great player, if Janelle was to seriously fall for him, I would probably Botox my eyes shut for the rest of the year. Luckily, this is Janey, and she is more than aware at the kind of effect she has on guys, and she is really laying it down thick this time. It must be working, because Dr. Will loses all of his cool when he is around Janelle, or so it seems. Is Janelle playing Will? Is Will playing Janelle? I don’t know, but I do know if they ever got together, it would REALLY be like Mr. and Mrs. Smith, except Jennifer Aniston would be crying less.

You knew that Janelle’s HoH room had to be super girly, and we were not disappointed as she introduced us to her creation. It was wall-to-wall pink, and looked like it the honeymoon suite of some really bad hotel in Niagara Falls. If Janey’s got a gun, she should use it on whoever designed that room. There’s so much Pink, I’m not sure how anybody could sleep even with the lights off. Marcellas called it an abomination and said it looked like somebody’s pepto bismol nightmare; indeed, the only tacky accent that was missing was a couple of pink flamingos on the wall and velvet picture of Elvis.

With that taken care of, it was time to talk strategy. Janelle is very much so on the “take out the floaters” line of thinking. As Kaysar put it, if they take out Chilltown, they are doing the dirty work for the floaters, and when Chilltown is gone, the floaters are going to come after season six. EARTH TO KAYSAR, maybe you should try praying ten times a day. Five times for Allah and another five in hopes that you may get a clue. By getting rid of floaters, you are also doing Chilltown’s dirty work. The floaters are not going to go after Chilltown; they are going to go after the strongest alliance in the house, the one that has been nominating people to leave. The only thing Season six is doing by nominating the floaters is giving Will and Boogie more ammunition should they need to sway one of those floaters to nominate season six.

James is really upset about all of this. He wonders why they would want to nominate Diane, one of the weaker players in the house, when Mike and Will are still around. He then went on to say that he can’t understand why people would be so stupid, and warned that they were playing with fire keeping Chilltown in the house four weeks in a row. It’s really smart of James to bring up that point, but at the same time, how is he complaining when he already has his chance to do the same thing? He had a chance to get rid of half of Chilltown, but instead decided that a person who spends more time with his flat iron than his strategy book would be a better choice.

One of the reasons why James was against voting out Diane was because the two of them are cool, and he even takes the time to tell her that there are some people gunning for her, and she needs to do some damage control. I was actually surprised at how blatant James was with all of this, but Diane took his advice and spoke with Janelle, and it appeared that the two of them came to an understanding, and she brought up a great point. Why spend so much time working on the floaters, when there are still people in the house (Will and Boogie) who have been so outspoken about their target (Season Six).

Like I said in my last recap, I think that Will is really a lot of fun to watch. I still hate most of his tactics, but whatever his mission is, he seems to get the job done. This time, the mission was to convince Janelle to nominate floaters, and he did this by taking a bath and doing a puppet show with…rubber duckies. It was a story about a pretty pink duck, Fanelle, who was queen of the pond, and from there continued with a bunch of metaphors for people and relationships in the house, including calling himself Dr. McDreamy. I am sure Patrick Dempsey and Ellen Pompeio are NOT amused. The gist? Get rid of the floaters. It should have been really easy, and for most of us, getting rid of floaters is as easy as one flush (or two if you had the all you can eat fajitas at Chili’s), but in the game of Big Brother it’s not so easy. Sometimes, for lack of a better word, you have to get your hands dirty, and this looked like one of those times.

Will begins his story

Kaysar is playing along

Kaysar thinks it’s funny!

OK, the King is bored

The King thinks this is getting old quickly

The King calms down after thinking how much fun it is to shave his chest hair

Many people were wondering if Chicken George would be forced to eat slop for 60 days, and it looks like the producers are following through with it. As evidenced by his “Mr. Fart” shirt on Thursday, it’s obvious that George is having some problems with the slop, but those problems go farther than possible skidmarks in the Chicken George tighty-wighties. Kaysar said that eating the slop was “eating [George] up inside”, which would have been really funny except that Kaysar was so serious delivering the line, you wondered if the joke went over his own head.

This all was a prelude to the food competition. There was a crazy setup outside like something out of American Gladiators, which would have been cool because we could give everybody nicknames like Blaze, Storm, and Steroid Side-Effects. Sadly, the actual competition was not that crazy, although they did get to put on some Gladiator style gear. Unlike last week where people were playing for what they would eat by the day, this was once again a head to head competition. The houseguests all got together in a ring, and bunch of balls would fly out of the air. One ball would have a silver star. The person who caught the star would get food for the week, but would also get to pick one person to eat slop. It would repeat until there was nobody left in the ring.

Although this competition wasn’t explicitly geared towards the guys, it favored the tall and the muscular a lot more than the short and petite. Danielle might be able to bump people out of the way, but Erik and Diane aren’t pushing anybody out of the way. That being said, the first ball was caught by none other than Mike Boogie, the shortest guy of the group. Hmm, maybe all of that lifting was actually doing him some good? Mike chose Marcellas for the slop as a payback for Marcellas knocking him out of the HoH competition.

The next catch went to Howie, who eliminated Dr. Will, even though he and Dr. Will had talked about not targeting each other. Dr. Will tried to play it cool, but you know that he had to be at least a little pissed Howie betrayed him, even if the whole test was to see if Howie could be trusted. Kaysar caught the next one and picked Chicken George, who obviously was already on slop. Here is where I usually lecture people on taking risks, but Janey was there to do that for me, saying that Kaysar has been taking the easy route out lately. James caught the next one and picked Diane for slop, which was strange, because why not pick Erika? Finally, Danielle went against tradition and actually won a food competition for once, choosing the only person left standing, Erika, for the slop.

Following the food competition, it was all just a matter of trying to figure out who Janelle was going to nominate. Will and Boogie were telling Janelle that she needs to take out floaters because that would mean she is really in control. I know, I know, you’re saying “see J-Unit, Mike and Dr. Will are campaigning against the floaters, so the floaters will come after them!!!” Umm, no. The only thing that matters to the floaters is who has nominated who. Other than Marcellas, I don’t think any of the floaters would nominate two people from Chilltown. Despite what Diane said to Janelle, she still resents season six. Danielle might have loyalty to James, but I think she knows that her chances are better if she is not the fifth wheel. Chicken George is going to be looking for payback. Erika might nominate Chilltown, but Will can probably talk his way out of that. The only person that might go along with nominating Chilltown is Marcellas, but even then you start to become unsure.

The most frustrating thing about watching all of this unfold is that Will once again offered to pawn himself on the block. Trust him and you have an ally. Don’t trust him and you can just send him home. I mean seriously, what more can you ask for? This whole time Kaysar and Janelle are saying that they aren’t afraid of Chilltown’s game, and Janelle does make a point when she says the floaters are like their own alliance. However, the only reason why the floaters would have any sort of common goal is because they have been targeted by season six! Danielle, Chicken George, and Diane each have been targets, and in this house the first order of business when you get in power is to take out the people who have targeted you.

James did a good job of turning this logic on its side. If you want to nominate the most dangerous floaters, you would nominate Danielle and Marcellas, and of course they are the two people who have showed the most loyalty to them. It’s amazing how well James understands this game when he is not in power. Where was all of this clarity last week? James realizes that while they may have a deal with Chilltown, if and when the time comes and season six doesn’t win an HoH, Chilltown is going to use all of their influence to make sure the floaters nominate two of them. Obviously you know that I am going to say the best move is to take out Chilltown. You can see these floaters as their own alliance, but the fact of the matter is that season six is going to have the biggest target on their backs because they are the only people who have eliminated anybody. Janelle and company should work on getting these floaters into their alliance instead of alienating them.

While all of this was going on, Will and Boogie decided it would be perfect for an impromptu game of chess outside the HoH room, just in case Janelle felt that she had to pull a Kaysar and make a deal with them before the nominations got started. Janelle did have a little bit more willpower, but as soon as there was some free time, Will pounced and started to work on her. Janelle might have been acting like she was playing Will earlier in this game, but at this point it was really hard to see who was playing who. I don’t think Janelle would fall for Dr. Will, but he is good with the plastic surgery, and a smooch here and a cuddle there might be worth a little lipo, a tummy tuck, some botox, or even new implants when the season is over. I can’t fault a girl for trying to save a little money. If I was in the house, God knows I would be working everybody. Free Pilates from Erika, free drinks from Boogie, free hair grease from Kaysar, free stupidity from Howie, free shopping advice from Marcellas, the list goes on.

The great thing about Will right now is that he is does a great job of finding out why people want to get rid of him or keep him in the game, and isn’t afraid to admit that he is a threat. Janelle is talking about how it’s not fun to be HoH, and Will agrees with her. She wants to get rid of floaters, but doesn’t want to piss people off. Will says that Kaysar threw them under the bus – Sally Struthers – two weeks ago by not putting Will and Boogie up, but now he his going to have a solution. Janelle can put up Will, and use him as a pawn. Either they get the votes to remove the floater, or Dr. Will goes home. He won’t have any hard feelings.

Janey is a little reluctant to put up Will, and Will says that’s because she likes him, but I am going to stick to my guns and say that Janelle realizes that if you risk anybody from the Chilltown alliance, it is Boogie, especially when she’s starting to wrap will around her finger. Will even said that she was blushing, but Janelle had to remind him that the room was pink, and it was probably the reflection of his porcelain skin that was giving everything the glow.

Will goes farther by talking about how the Season Six alliance is not that strong. If Janelle wants protection, she should work with Mike and Will. He then mentions how season six got into this house, and instead of staying strong, they each went out and found their own parachutes should something go wrong. Kaysar found Erika, James found Danielle (and now Diane), Janey found Marcellas, and Howie he found, uh, Chicken George? She can find out a lot about the people she can trust if she nominated one of these safety nets and watches how they react. However, Mike and Will can offer her protection (much better than Pedro ever could), and can give her a reassurance that James and Kaysar won’t.

I had a lot of faith in Janey, but you know it’s really hard. You trust somebody for a long time and they can surprise you. You like the Boston Celtics, and then they draft Acie Earl and Eric Montross in back to back drafts (at least they aren’t the Knicks though). You like Jodie Foster, and then she makes Flight Plan. You like your neighborhood bar, and then they don’t have Stella on tap. You like Tyra Banks, and then SHE RETIRES FROM VICTORIA’S SECRET. You have a favorite blogger, and then they get too bitter and become unfunny. Not like that would ever happen at TVgasm, but you get my point.

As the names were being read, I was really wondering how Janelle was going to pull this off. Would she nominate somebody from Chilltown? Would she use them as a pawn to get rid of a floater like James the week before? Would she double-cross Chilltown and make the floater the real pawn? Well, as the names were read, the people we expected to be safe were safe, but then Diane and George pulled out their keys, leaving Mike and Erika as the nominees! I have to admit; I never saw that one coming. Boogie, OK, that makes sense, but Erika? Janelle said she was just the pawn, but really, whom do you believe?

While a lot of things can change, Janelle said that she wants to dwindle that alliance of five, meaning the floaters, which is a good idea, but Erika made a good point. Up until then, there was no reason for her to go after season six. Now? Well, the gloves were coming off, and it opened a door for her to retaliate should it ever be the case. You could tell that Boogie was nervous, but Will had plenty of confidence, saying that Janelle met him half way, meaning he believes she is ready to work with Chilltown.

I have to say, I am a little disappointed with how Janelle is handling this. You would think that Season Six would realize that they are creating the targets on their backs by nominating the floaters, but they are all too scared of the numbers game should one of the floaters get into power. Well, there is no way to control the numbers game because with four people in your alliance, it’s impossible to protect your entire alliance should somebody else get into power. I hope that Janelle turns this around and has a plan to remove Chilltown, but her alliance is really just playing scared.

What did you think of this episode? Did Janey make the right nominations? Are the floaters or Chilltown the bigger threat to season six? Is Dr. Will playing Janey, or is Janey playing Dr. Will during their flirting? Who do you want to see leave the house?

Now remember, if you want to talk about spoilers, USE THE FORUMS. Otherwise, make sure to leave a comment below.