Is it me, or have other people lost count of how many times James was supposed to be evicted on Big Brother? Last week, we were all as high as rollers at a rave after the return of our man, Kaysar. Almost immediately, he was poised to take a leadership role in the house. One week after he was evicted, he had the chance to win HOH and get revenge on the people who sent him home. We hadn’t seen so many Americans pulling for one cause since they were taking Prohibition off the books. Then inexplicably, Kaysar gave up his power and put control of the game in the hands of another person. Is the Behrooz fro somehow preventing Kaysar from thinking clearly? That’s what we were trying to find out.Kaysar made a deal with Jen that he would let her have HOH. The plan has always been to get rid of James, so why does it matter who did the nominations? In fact, why not let the Friendship do the dirty work? That would give the Sovereign Four even odds at winning the HOH after James had been evicted. Even better, Kaysar’s deal had Jen nominating people from her own side as pawns, assuring Kaysar’s Kronies at least another week in the house. Jen had given Kaysar her word.
Well, you can trust people in the Big Brother house as far as you can throw them, which means that Kaysar could have trusted Jennifer more than, say, Maggie or Ivette, but that’s still not very far. As expected, Jennifer had no intention of nominating anybody from the Friendship; Kaysar and Kompany were just going to have to sweat it out, and sweat it out they did. Janelle called Jennifer the biggest bitch in the house and a person who always lies, but as much as I hate to say this, Janey had her chance to win the contest and danced it away. Not a very smart play.
Ivette starts wearing some camo shorts so maybe people won’t notice that huge ass
Rachel, the other nominee, said that Jen had lost all credibility. Well Rachel, if you were HOH, Jen might be worrying about credibility, but as it stands right now, she doesn’t need any credibility. Jen knew that Kaysar was going to be upset, and he was fuming. Kaysar complained that Jenny lied to his face. God, watching this is all was SO FRUSTRATING. I hate the Friendship with a passion I wouldn’t be able to muster if Angelina Jolie was sitting on my lap, but they have simply played the game much better.
Despite what was happening, it still didn’t change the fundamental fact that almost everybody in the house was pushing to get rid of James. He was alone in the house and he was going to be getting the back door. All jokes aside, the back door is the absolute worst place to get it in the Big Brother house. Think about it. The Friendship hates the Kaysars and the same can be said the other way around. The only thing they can agree on is that they hate you so much that they want to get rid of you. That can’t feel too good.
Howie was trying to be optimistic. Don’t worry Rachel and Janelle, you are just pawns. Nobody has ever tried nominating pawns only to get rid of them when they least expect it. They fumbled the ball, and they are going to pick it right up again and get back in the game! I think that Howie honestly believed everything that he said, but most of this shit was his fault anyway. With only one other heterosexual man in the house, Howie decided that his masculine superiority would be challenged, became fixated on getting James out, and completely destroyed the powerful alliance. I can hold petty grudges with the best of them, and I will be holding one against Howie for a long time.
James thinks it’s hopeless, but he doesn’t want to give up on the game. He doesn’t have anybody in the house who would give him a vote, but you have to start somewhere, and that somewhere is Ivette. Ivette and James have a unique relationship, one that had Howie and Rachel plotting to get rid of Ivette before Sarah. After some vague talk from Ivette on how it’s not too late, and he has four days, and he shouldn’t give up, James goes to see Jennifer.
One thing James has been begging for is to just have a relaxing week, and since he knows the outcome is going to be his departure, he comes to this sort of peace with himself. When he goes into the HOH room to see Jennifer, he makes his case. He knows that the Friendship really respects people who have morals, so he goes off on this long talk about how he saw how much Ivette was motivated for pure reasons and how Rachel had shown him the true face of evil. Seriously, how often do you think she gets mistaken for Manson (Charles?). I would have to say it happens at least once a week. Everybody has a case of mistaken identity now and then, but “Are you a Manson?” has to be really embarrassing.
Overall, it was the typical sort of speech you would expect to hear from somebody who has no hope and has resigned himself to leaving altogether. There really wasn’t all that much interesting that went on during the discussion, except, of course, right at the beginning when Jen told him that she would listen to him, and that she was “completely honest” in the game. How soon we forget! I know that it was what, like six hours ago when you made that promise to Kaysar about nominating Maggie, but come on! Completely honest? Hardly.
Speaking of Kaysar, he decides that he is going to interrogate Jennifer himself. Obviously, he has been out of the game for a little bit, and he said it might have made him a little rusty, but he wants to make sure that this thing doesn’t get out of control. He confronts Jen and tells her that she should understand why he is upset. She agrees. He knows he can’t freak her too much, but he does want to get to the bottom of why their deal went sour. We have all been questioning Jen’s intelligence, but she explained it to Kaysar in a way that is kind of hard to argue with. See, Jen trusts Kaysar, but not Howie, Rachel, and Janelle. Last week, when Ivette was a pawn, Howie and Rachel started campaigning to get her out. It’s at this moment that Kaysar begins to realize that maybe he didn’t know enough about what transpired in his week off. He really had no idea how badly Howie had messed things up, and he puts his head in his hands, knowing that he really doesn’t have an argument against Jen with the reasoning she just gave.
We next got a little interlude where everybody was discussing Howie and his Speedo. Is there nobody else in this house that is worth talking about on these Tuesday episodes? There are plenty of things the producers can do to pass the time, why must we always get Howie? Can’t they come up with another thing to add to the SUMMER OF SECRETS? The dilemma this week was not the force or how much he liked all of the boobies in the house, but rather how he could get a Speedo on properly. Uh, what’s difficult about it? You squeeze your ass in there, decide if you feel like pointing the way left or right, and that’s the end of it. OK, maybe you have some pubage to take care of, but it’s not rocket science. Howie used to be a stripper, so putting on a Speedo has got to be like riding a bike. Personally, I think Howie got jealous with how much attention Beau and his chocolate pee-pee got from all of the ladies and decided he was going to make people take interest in his package.
The other big thing this week was the birthdays of Kaysar and Maggie. Thank god they had birthdays or we would probably be subjected to a segment on Howie’s pit stains, or Beau’s male prostitution/escort work. Yes, you heard me. Apparently, Beau was discussing it on one of the live feeds when BB6 shut it down and told them to change the subject. It seems like half of the cast has already had a birthday, and I wonder if they are getting sick of them. They also got a lot nicer gifts than the tranny garage sale items April got. Maggie got a PSP, and nobody in the house even knew what one was. OK, maybe it isn’t that popular, but it was the biggest consumer electronics launch of the year, and you think one person would have heard something. Maggie didn’t really even know what it was for other than what it said on the box. I am thinking that they might have mixed up gifts though, since Kaysar got a thigh-master in his gift box.
April picks her nose to acquire at least half of the 50 calories she consumes each day.
Play time aside, it is now time for the Friendship to talk strategy. I am really disliking how plush and isolated the HOH room is this year. It’s not a personal room, but a communal camp ground, and the Friendship always pile on the bed to discuss strategy. I don’t know why I hate it so much because they aren’t really doing anything, but when I see them together I am always reminded of how they have managed to slide by with only one of their people being nominated last week.
Anyway, the discussion turns to talk about how exactly they were going to go about the backdoor with James. It wasn’t too long before Ivette started asking some questions, and she begins with a strong defense for James. See, it wasn’t his fault that he was lying and nobody can trust him, he was forced to do it because he was the target for so many weeks. I’m loathe to say it, but she does have a point. James is a floater with no friends, and as April adds later, he is untrustworthy, but it is a numbers game (something Kaysar and Co. have failed to realize) and getting rid of James doesn’t help with those numbers.
Isn’t it strange how Ivette has changed since she was in the house? She’s still loud, and judging from the people who write about the live feeds, still as repugnant as ever. One thing she has gained was some sort of grasp of strategy. I think I can trace it back to when Eric was rejected from America’s Choice. It’s as if all of her brain fixations on Eric were crushed, and without those complexities of Cappy keeping her occupied, her brain pushed aside the dumb shit that filling her head and allowed some strategy elements to be introduced. And wouldn’t you know it, with some room to operate, her brain isn’t letting her down.
Finally, we get to the veto competition. Since everybody has agreed that they will use the veto to rescue one person in order to put James on, it’s not really a matter of who gets it but rather what they will have to do to get it. Therefore, CBS should be ready with one of the best games of the season, and that game was “Coast for the Most.” As you may have noticed, the houseguests sometimes play this game inside the house where they throw coasters at a table and try to get it in the middle. Although Ivette says she invented the game, Howie is the self-proclaimed master.
Being outside, this had to be a super-sized version of the house game, and that’s exactly what it was. Each person had discs (the coasters) with the names of the evicted houseguests. Throw the matching coaster to the corresponding spot on the “table” and you received that many points. Therefore, if you managed to hit Ashlea on your first throw, you would get one point. It sounded like a bore, but then we learned that if somebody was able to score, then there wouldn’t be any veto winner. WHOA! Finally! Some intrigue in the game. They had done all that work to get James off of the block, but if nobody scores, their plan would be foiled, and James would live again. James is starting to grow on me a little each week, and to see the look on the face of the others if there was no veto would be priceless.
So, it was no surprise when April got a point on her first throw. BLAST! There goes any suspense in the game as well as any reason why I would be paying attention carefully. Rachel ended up being the winner, and barring any unforeseen things popping up, she was going to take herself off.
The only thing remaining would be a discussion of who was going to go up in her place, but since the agreement was James, what is there to discuss? Jen wouldn’t go against her word twice, would she? Would she???
Slowly, Jen started thinking about the idea. Beau asked it first: “Why not get rid of Kaysar?” We can finally cross him off the list of “houseguests who never said anything interesting all summer.” April concurred, you can’t be nice in the game, and one by one, most of the Friendship were thinking that maybe it was a good idea to boot Kaysar. How dare he get himself voted back in the house! It’s not America’s game, it is their game, and they wanted to take it back. I am not sure they would have been thinking the same thing if Eric had won, but it was an interesting methodology. What was worse? Keeping James in the house, a target we try to remove each week, or keeping Kaysar, the person who we sent packing and then came back in?
Once again, Kaysar had a bad feeling, but he was trying to rally the troops. He kept on telling everybody else that Jenny wouldn’t keep James safe because it would make her a target. If she backstabbed the alliance, she was going to be gone the next week. Some of these threats may have even sounded very scary until you realize that Kaysar made most of these threats the last time he was about to get booted, and all that Howie managed to do was break up the alliance. If Janelle wins HOH, maybe a lot of shit will go down, but if not, nobody is going to care enough to really make life hell like Kaysar so desperately wanted if he was gone.
Jen once again polled all of the Friendship, this time asking them individually who they would nominate besides James. Other than Beau, everybody agreed – you have to get rid of Kaysar. Maggie came in with a fine point – James has about the same chance of nominating the Friendship as he did nominating somebody on the other side. But for Kaysar, he was going after the Friendship no matter what. Why is there even a question as to what they should do? Ivette chimed in saying that she never liked Kaysar, not even for the first minute they had met. She also reminds them how much the other team faired when Kaysar was evicted – ie, they lost very quickly.
At the veto ceremony, Rachel used the veto to save herself, and Jen nominated Kaysar! Now, I have to say that Big Brother was trying to distract us with a bunch of comments on how James was going to get the back door, so this was a fair surprise, at least for me. But then Kaysar said that “Jen doesn’t have the courage to not nominate James,” I knew that Kaysar was a goner. Big Brother LOVES dramatic irony and foiling the misdirection.
There you go, it’s like we are back to square one, or whatever it was two weeks ago. This nomination is really tough on me. Clearly, the people that aren’t in the Friendship are much better and more interesting personalities. On the other hand, I have always said that strategy is what I use to evaluate the best people out there, and the Friendship has clearly been playing the better game. I hate to say it, but Kaysar deserves everything that is happening because he has played like a Howie since the moment he stepped back in the door. James gets to regroup another week, and maybe after the shock of losing Sarah wears off, he gets his game face back. He was absolutely stunned when his name wasn’t called, and was still about to get up out of the chair when he hear Jen say Kaysar was nominated. It wasn’t all his doing, but being able to stay off the block was a minor stroke of genius.
And what about Jen? She may be an idiot cheerleader, but I have to say I was wrong about Jen’s mental ability. Howie likened this whole mess to picking up a fumble. Well Howie, Jennifer is the quarterback of this team and she called an audible. The other side is caught not knowing what to do, and it’s going to take a lot for them to come back and win it all.
What did you think of Jennifer’s move? Did she act too soon? Do you think Kaysar or Janelle will be sent home?