Welcome Back, Pendulum

Big Brother

By B-Side | Sunday, July 31, 2005 | 5:52 pm | 39 Comments

maggie_shocked Big Brother turned 180 degrees again last night as the power in the household shifted back to Maggie & Co. amongst a flurry of giggles, hugs, and spazzy “Omigods!” Yes, just when King Kaysar had it all figured out, the ole Karma Boomerang clunked him in the head and sent him scrambling for cover all over again. Such is the way of Big Brother. One week you’re on top, and then the next, you’re toast, as Kaysar might say. Surely this tug-o-war will end bitterly, and TVgasm will be there to document it meticulously.After a dizzying two weeks of action-packed drama, the show finally came back down to the stratosphere last night as we followed the humdrum activities of the household while it braced for some of the most predictable nominations yet. Before we even got to that, however, we needed to hear the cast’s reaction to Eric “Cappy” Littman’s eviction. “I love that man!” yelled Ivette into the camera, adding, “The only thing I love more than Cappy is YELLING. BECAUSE I LOVE TO YELL!!!!” Honestly, she must have broken two or three microphones during her interview. This might also explain why at 11:45 AM on Thursday morning, I heard, out my window, a Latina screaming “I love that man!” By the way, have we actually figured out why Ivette loves Eric so much? Is it because of his sob story about going into the burning building with his partner? Or is it because his cue ball head and pouty nature remind Ivette of a newborn baby and/or an M&M? I guess we’ll just have to wait for her memoirs, which I’m hoping she’ll title, “I AM AN IDIOT!”

Janelle’s reaction to Eric’s departure was much more enjoyable: “I just kind of sat back and watched his little friends hug him goodbye.” Well, I wouldn’t call them “little.” After all, they do tower over Cappy by about a foot or three. I wonder if Eric has black-and-white nightmare flashbacks to traumatic childhood games of Monkey In The Middle. Eh, he’s probably more tormented by the notion of someday having to wear less than four different Las Vegas Fire Department garments at once.

Anyway, as people continued to comment about Eric’s eviction, we saw footage of him leaving the house. And then the camera zoomed in on Jennifer. Aaaaaand she was silent yet again. Phew! I thought she might, you know, say something.

With Cappy finally gone, it was now time to relive the travesty that was the Head of Household competition. We watched yet again as Maggie singlehandedly killed the momentum of the past week and ascended to the HOH throne. She was then hugged/attacked by all the people who had actually just voted against her. Yes, her alleged alliance rallied to her side, and it somewhat shocked me that none of Kaysar’s group even thought to exploit the fact that these four people (Ivette, Beau, April, and Jennifer) had been the only ones to explicitly move to oust Maggie. Had I been in the household, I surely would have not only pointed this out, but told Maggie that if she didn’t nominate one of her crew, then she’d be put on the chopping block as soon someone from my alliance was in power. You know, tighten the reins a bit. Make her sweat under Cappy’s hat.

Anyway, back to the HOH competition. As Maggie celebrated her victory over Sarah (whom her boyfriend James described as “somewhat intelligent” — aww, such a sweetheart), Kaysar noted that “it was a sobering moment.” Unlike those other moments when Kaysar has been so giddy and full of excitement. Maggie, meanwhile, looked up to the heavens and said, “Thank you Eric.” Uh, he didn’t die. He’s not up in the sky. Unless…is Eric a ghost? SUMMER OF SECRETS!!!

Hmmm…with Eric being a ghost and Julie Chen being a robot, I’m starting to think this might just be one elaborate episode of Scooby Doo. Or anime. Yeah, probably anime (on account of Julie Chen’s Asian-ness and such).

Anyway, with Maggie taking over the house, Ivette and her oddly un-tanned calf (did anyone else notice that?) proudly boasted, “I am the cherry on top of the sundae!” Yes, the nasty, annoying sundae. What the hell was she talking about anyway? Moments later, she noted that payback is a bitch, but again, cherries? Sundaes? Listen, people: I know you like your metaphors as much as the next person, but you can’t just throw them around willy nilly. They need to make sense. But I guess we can give Ivette a free pass, what with her being a moron and such.

Sarah’s reaction to Maggie’s victory was a bit more resilient and, well, naive (it is Sarah, after all): “We’re not gonna rally against each other.” This comes from Sarah, who will soon be stabbed in the back so many times, we’ll think she was on the Orient Express (A little Agatha Christie humor. Anyone? Anyone?).

Later, after the competition had ended, Maggie and Ivette shared a hug in the empty food pantry / airlock. “Maggie and I are playing for Cappy,” declared Ivette. Oh REALLY??? I never would have guessed! Hey, let us know just one more time how much you love Eric. By the way, did he ever tell you his initial plan to vote you out? No? Oh, never mind then.

After Maggie and Ivette babbled a bit more about Eric and how wonderful he was, we finally had that most hallowed of weekly ceremonies: the unveiling of the new HOH room. Oooooh. The group gathered ’round Maggie as she unlocked the door, and with the usual punk rock playing on the soundtrack (Head of Household room!!! ROCK ON!!!!!), Jennifer began screaming before she had even entered the room. Apparently she thought Jon Bon Jovi would be inside waiting for her. Anyway, like a bunch of toddlers crying at nothing at all, the girls followed Jennifer’s lead and began screaming their guts out. OMG! The HOH ROOM! It looks… EXACTLY THE SAME!!!! But now there are new COOKIES!!! And Oh. My. God. Maggie got a new pillow!!!!! The squishy kind too! Best afternoon evah!

James pretty much echoed my sentiments: “The Head of Household bedroom was wonderful. It was one of the most amazing moments of my life. No, it was pathetic. I’m watching all these putrid little rats go around and try to kiss Maggie’s ass some more. Let her listen to, you know, her music and smoke banana peels and do whatever the hell she does in there. Just…stuff makes me sick.” And because we can never get enough bitterness, Janelle followed up with her own contempt: “Her stuff doesn’t really interest me. She collects turtles, and I saw a turtle. Oooh, that’s exciting.” Wow, I really didn’t think Maggie could be any more plain, but collecting turtles? She might as well profess to love rice cakes and vanilla wafers.

Anyway, once she was properly installed in her new lair, Maggie began her pseudo-Kaysar attempts to strategize. First she called in Rachel and told her that she believed she was a good person (perhaps Rachel had saved a turtle once?). Then Maggie brought in Howie and grilled him, asking him whether or not it was his idea to initially put her and James on the chopping block last week. Howie hemmed and hawed his way through some stammering responses, and eventually he and Rachel agreed not to put Maggie up if one of them were to be Head of Household next week. Odds of Howie and Rachel throwing the HOH competition? 3-2.

Downstairs, James feebly attempted to get back in with Ivette and Beau, but their three collective brain cells were enough to make them resist. Apparently, they simply could not understand the logic that James had to turn on the group or else they would have all voted him out. So basically, Ivette and Beau were mad at James that he had the nerve to save himself. At this point, Maggie joined the conversation and asked, “I just wonder if you know that you’re pulling away from a group that would have stayed true to you as long as they could.” It should be noted, however, that “as long as they could” meant “until last week.”

Seeing that direct logic had no effect on his mentally challenged adversaries, James then tried a more sentimental tactic by apologizing to Maggie in her HOH room. It was a fairly pathetic and transparent display, and since Maggie (the brightest of her alliance) saw right through it, the entire attempt pretty much failed entirely. Switching gears yet again, James then sold Sarah up the river, saying that if she was put up on the block, he wouldn’t use the veto to save her. Yes, I’m sure Maggie really appreciates that sort of loyalty. When that didn’t work, the two simply wound up talking about secrets and whatnot, with James saying that he couldn’t read Maggie very well. She gave some ambiguous and blatantly misleading responses, and somehow, James became convinced that Maggie was actually a cop. After all, she had the HOH room set up like an interrogation room, he claimed. Well, I’m pretty sure it’s the only interrogation room in the country featuring turtle figurines and a squishy pillow. Anyway, the meeting came to an end with James triumphantly telling us, “Maggie is a cop!” Great. And that will impact the game how?

By the way, James also mentioned several times that he and Maggie were both cops. Uh, I believe your title is “Loss Prevention Manager” — a.k.a. security guard. Let’s not get too carried away, Sonny Crocket.

And now it’s time for a little comedy, courtesy of house buffoon, Howie. Apparently, our resident weatherman-to-be loves him some boobies. How do I know? Because he apparently parades through the house saying, “I love boobies.” If he’s lucky enough, he might have some of his own. Seriously, How-dog has been packin’ on the PB&J pounds lately. Must be stealing all of April’s weight — she has dropped from 108 lbs to 102, IN CASE YOU DIDN’T KNOW. (Hey, the Crypt Keeper has to maintain a healthy, skeletal physique). Anyway, during this oh-so-wacky montage, we saw Howie saying all sorts of boobie things, like “It’s a waste of your big boobies to not have somebody take care of them for you.” But seriously, Michael was the real sexual aggressor. Thanks Eric.

After this comic bit was over, we then saw Kaysar and his group scheming in the corner. They have yet to give themselves some stupid nickname, so for the time being, I guess I’ll call them the Super Six or maybe Team Bitter. Or maybe I just won’t call them anything at all. Nevertheless, King Kaysar seethed, “I have pride in this group!” He LOVES his alliance! Alas, it seems as though the Sextet of Splendor (No? Too wordy?) will be tumbling down this week. Kaysar noted that Maggie was going to use his own strategy against him. Now he must outsmart himself. Would somebody tell Jerry Bruckheimer to stop feeding Kaysar lines?

When we came back from commercial, we learned that Ivette is an allegedly creative person. This was personified by her creating a hummingbird feeder out of some spare items around the house. She later noted, “I LOVE THE HUMMINGBIRD! He has my heart and soul. I’m playing for the hummingbird now!!”

We then saw all the creative things Ivette has come up with: rug checkers, the coaster game, the “ghetto slide,” “ghetto french toast,” “ghetto bread pudding,” and even “ghetto ice cream” which looked to be the unsavory union of ice shavings, cinnamon, and peanut butter. “That tastes like the ice cream my grandmother used to make,” said April, whose grandmother apparently made TERRIBLE ice cream. April then noted, “Back in my day, we didn’t have ‘freezers’ or ‘ice boxes.’ We had snow, and if it didn’t last until summer, then you didn’t get ice cream. We’d have to eat dirt off a twig instead AND WE LIKED IT!”

Apparently Ivette hasn’t concocted any “ghetto Slim-Fast.”

Well, all this talk about ice cream appropriately segued into the evening’s challenge, “Matching Munchies ’05.” Basically, it was a Match Game rip-off, and in honor of the classic Gene Reyburn show, four of the panelists were outfitted in campy 1970s wigs and costumes. “April was horrible!” declared Jennifer. We then saw a shot of April, who looked exactly the same as usual.

April’s “horrible” costume. Also known as “What she looks like every day.”

But anyway, the rules of the game were fairly simple. Hostess Maggie would read a sentence out loud, and then one person would have to fill in the blank with what they thought was the appropriate word. A panel of four (Sarah, Kaysar, April, and Howie) would then write down their answers, and if more than two people matched the contestant, the household would win groceries for a day. No word on whether or not the panelists were allowed to confer, but J-Unit became quite heated as he surmised that the panelists were not only discussing their answers, but strategically deciding who would write what. You can read his scathing analysis here. But if you’re like me and don’t really care that much about GroceryGate 2005 (it was, after all, just a food competition), we can move on.

Anyway, the first few people successfully procured food for the house without incident. But then it was time for Janelle. Hostess Maggie innocently asked, “You know you’re flying first class when the stewardess offers you a chocolate covered ______.”

“Well, since I often fly first class, I’m gonna say…strawberry!” replied Janelle with a sly smile on her face. This immediately brought the wrath of Beau who flamed out in an interview and scoffed, “I’m like whatever!” Hey Beau, it’s called “tongue in cheek.” LOOK INTO IT. Of course, I shouldn’t be surprised that the idiots of the house would blatantly misinterpret Janelle’s humor. They are, after all, idiots.

Soon it was Ivette’s turn. “Donna said, ‘My husband the pastry chef is getting a bit nearsighted. Last night, he went outside and tried to ____ the dog,” said Maggie. Faced with this perplexing dilemma, Ivette simply clenched her eyes and yelled, “Where’s CAPPY???” Apparently, Eric is the expert when it comes to _______ing the dog, whatever ______ing may be (my vote: humping).

Unsurprisingly, the houseguests won food for the entire week, even with dim-bulbs like Ivette playing the game (again, see J-Unit’s GroceryGate conspiracy). As a bonus, the roommates were also given the last two numbers for the safe in the gold room. Oooh. Ahhh. What would be inside? Bars of gold? Diamonds? A GUN?? Well, not exactly. After several attempts by everyone in the house, Kaysar finally unlocked the safe and pulled out…a plate of PB&J sandwiches. Oh. Swell. Big Brother sure knows how to knock those twists out of the park!

Ah, but perhaps I spoke too soon. Turns out inside one of those PB&J sandwiches was the “PB&J Pass” which would exempt one person from PB&J for the rest of the season. Even better, that person could choose to lend their PB&J Pass to someone for a week. Ooh, could be quite the bargaining chip, especially when it comes to April, who at press time is a frail 79 lbs. Well, everyone took a sandwich, sat around the table, and before we even knew what was going on, Janelle shrieked in victory. Amazingly, we did not cut to Beau in the Diary Room complaining, “Ugh! She was like ‘Yay, I won!’ Bitch.”

Actually, Beau had more pressing things on his mind — like the amorous intentions of Howie. That’s right. The man who loves boobies apparently loves fake kissing Beau too. We watched about two minutes worth of Howie slowly cornering Beau and getting ever closer to the personal shopper’s lips. The scene was surprisingly funny, but (bi) curiously enough, we never saw the two lock lips (various screencaps of the live feeds show the two swapping spit). Nevertheless, Howie claimed he was comfortable with his sexuality and as a result attracted people of all different “ethniticities.” None of whom, unfortunately, come bearing dictionaries.

When “ethniticities” unite…

As nominations neared, Sarah attempted some nice-girl scheming, which of course completely failed. She cozied up to the HOH and her clan and spilled the beans about everyone, but as Maggie wisely noted later, all of Sarah’s babbling put James in a good light. Ah ha! CAUGHT! No clay turtles for you at Christmas, SARAH!

Anyway, CBS tried some quick misdirection by suggesting that Maggie might put up Sarah and James, but we all knew it was Kaysar’s time to return to the hot seat. At the nomination ceremony, it was business as usual. April pulled out her key first, followed by Ivette, Jennifer, Beau, Rachel, Howie, Sarah, and then Janelle. Not that Maggie’s revealing her gameplan or anything…

Unsurprisingly, Kaysar and James wound up nominated, causing the former HOH to remark, “I think you should look forward to the most competitive — not just veto competition — but competition in Big Brother history.” He then added, “And be sure to watch it all here at CBS. Home of The Ghost Whisperer starring Jennifer Love Hewitt. Fridays this fall. Welcome home.”

And because we forgot to post this image earlier this week:

What do you think will happen? Do these guys have any way to save their hides?

Comments (39)
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39 Comments

1

Bob

Posted July 31, 2005 at 6:32 pm

Great recap. Maggie is vengeful, not a strategist. She should have put another 1/2 of one couple up, rather than Kaysar. If the POV is used, Janelle will certainly go on the block. Beau is like the most uninteresting Gay ever – “Life’s a Bitch” – oh snap. I guess we should pray for a decent “summer secret”, like Ivette getting hit by Moonves-made lightning.
2

Anthropologist

Posted July 31, 2005 at 6:56 pm

Wow, Howie is even more gayer than I! I mean geez, I have a lot of straight guy friends and none of them have tried to “fake” kiss me! Maybe he is into shemales since he likes boobies and apparently penis so much!
3

hater

Posted July 31, 2005 at 6:57 pm

after kaysar gets the boot this week (which seems inevitable), the only reason i will watch this show is to see ivette make herself look more stupid with each episode until she finally is evicted and then cries and whines. hopefully she’ll last long enough to be betrayed by her ‘friends’ which will make it even more fun to watch.
4

tv freak

Posted July 31, 2005 at 7:04 pm

Thanks for Ivette-gay screencap. That made me laugh soo hard. I kind of hope that Eric comes back to the house. Even though I hate him, it would be funny to hear Ivette or Maggie’s reaction to him coming in, “Say hello to my little friend!” good recap.
5

museglet

Posted July 31, 2005 at 7:19 pm

Loved the Agatha Christie reference!…And I had the same thoughts about Kaysar, that he talks like he picked up too much American culture from (BAD) Hollywood movies. Also, when he announced dramatically last week that “this will be the final 6″, it was like he thought he was playing Survivor, where if an alliance is formed and stays together, you can get to the final 4, NOT BB which has the HOH competition each week to not allow that to happen. He really burned his bridges way too soon, although I love how the “idiot” alliance doesn’t see Eric’s eviction as payback for Michael, but will ALL say Kaysar’s eviction is payback for poor Eric.
6

Boobies

Posted July 31, 2005 at 7:31 pm

Even though I voted in the tvgasm poll for James to win (whimper), I kinda hope he goes now, because his desperate side switching is getting annoying.

Ivette- she’s gay? Don’t vomit on my shoe & tell me its a 4 alarm fire.

The real secret is that bicurious Howie…. SUMMER OF SECRETS!!
7

floopeygirl

Posted July 31, 2005 at 7:40 pm

What a predictable episode! Seriously …
Maggie is just out for revenge. She has no concept of what real strategy is or how to pull one off .. she should’ve paid closer attention to the Dictator. She would have learned far more then by stuck up Erpricks ass.
Beau is boring. Seriously .. he is the least fabulous gay on tv. He is boring, dull and quite frankly a big old snore! And can someone explain how it is that he keeps popping up on all of these other shows? I mean, what gives? Does he have an exclusive contract with Viacom?! And it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he & Ivette are buds. She is boring too. Insipid and so painfully stupid it’s hard to watch sometimes. And with her ‘ghetto cooking’ … she so totally insulted every single person who actually lives and comes from a real, actual ghetto. She is just low rent. And really trashy. And not in a good way.
James is pathetic .. he basically stabbed Sarah in the back when he told Maggie that he would do better in the game with out her there, and then was all smoochie with her. Ick.
And as for the nominations, did they come as a surprise to anyone?! NOPE.
8

Megan

Posted July 31, 2005 at 7:46 pm

Kaysar actually came up with a name for their alliance on the CBS HOH blog – the Sovereign Six. Not at all ridiculous!
9

Dana

Posted July 31, 2005 at 8:39 pm

Ivette is driving me crazy! It’s torture to watch her now. Cappy this, Cappy that…shut the fuck up about him already and play the game for yourself! If Kaysar goes this week (and I really hope he doesn’t), I will watch to see her “ghetto” ass get the boot.
10

Ed

Posted July 31, 2005 at 8:45 pm

This was Big Bore 6. If Maggot had any real skill, it could have been epic. But no, let’s go with emotions again. Blech.

It’ll be interesting to me if one of the Crappies gets veto power and decides to use it against Maggot’s wishes.

Does anyone think that the next week will be when a former roomy is returned? They can’t wait too long, else the impact will be way too great. The cries of “fix” will make even Kelly Monaco notice something ’tis amiss.
11

Tica

Posted July 31, 2005 at 9:19 pm

Another brilliant racap…
I’m naming my next dog Agatha Christie…
I hope Ivette chokes on her next EXCLAMATION!
12

copygodd

Posted July 31, 2005 at 9:38 pm

ivette, don’t ______ in my sundae and tell me it’s ghetto!
13

this guy

Posted July 31, 2005 at 9:44 pm

Ivette also racist in addition to idiot:

http://www.jokersupdates.com/ubbthreads/showthreaded.php?Cat=&Board=bbusapics&Number=2036785&page=0&view=expanded&sb=5&o=&fpart=

It’s telling that the security guard feels comfortable enough within a group to pass judgement on intellect.
14

Olivethan

Posted July 31, 2005 at 9:49 pm

Hey, here’s a secret they could reveal … who ever cast Ivette’s ‘ghetto ass’ is a former lover who wanted revenge on her boring ass and figured that by putting Ivette on tv in front of a huge audience, Ivette would reveal just how stupid she is. Secret is … Ivette is the only one who doesn’t know how annoying and cringeworthy she really is. Oh wait .. that’s not a secret. It’s common knowledge. Even Beau is bored with and by her.
15

floopeygirl

Posted July 31, 2005 at 9:50 pm

Hey, here’s a secret … Howie & Ivette were a couple and now both have gone gay. Just a thought.
16

Eric "Cappy" Littleman

Posted July 31, 2005 at 10:57 pm

OH NO!!! My girl Ivette told me telepatically that somebody planted a nuclear bomb in one of the gold safes!!!! I wonder who it could be??? They better find it before this weeks eviction. It’s a SUMMER OF SECRETS!!!

Ivette better buy Maggie and me that House and BMW if she wins or there will be hell to pay!!!! You know what they say: You live by the sword, you die by the sword!!

Boy is it getting cold in here, my small bald head can feel it. better put on another of my Las Vegas fire Jerseys. Peace.
17

Lia

Posted July 31, 2005 at 11:47 pm

ok, this episode 100% uneventful. maggie is a complete moron & i only wish that someone from the “sovereign six” had felt the need to point out to maggie that the people hugging her were the same 4 votes she’d got to evict her ass. honestly, everyone who is a cappy ass kisser is a moron since they’ve completely forgotten that there is, in fact, a game to be played and money to be won. maggie is a moron for her nominations. i love how ivette plans on buying eric shit with the money she’s not going to win. someone get me a friend for 3 weeks like that!!! wait, you want to get me ivette? no thanks, i’ll actually take you up on that offer to be covered in honey and then have fire ants pored on me instead. the only people playing strategically are those who are the “outcasts” & apparently everyone has forgotten that april, jennifer, & beau are in the house. play the game assholes! i’d greatly appreciate that
18

lia

Posted July 31, 2005 at 11:50 pm

oh!! i totally forgot, thank you for putting in howie’s “ethniticities” comment. i loved it, but you forgot to add kaysar’s lovely eye roll during the nomination ceremony after jennifer said “i love you maggie” let’s hope james gets the boot & his “somewhat intelligent” gf is left alone
19

sg-dub

Posted August 1, 2005 at 5:51 am

I really, really hope that Crappy, Ivette, April, Beau, and Maggie take the time to read the various blogs and such that discuss BB6. Watching these fucktards on TV drives me up the wall. They actually think that the public loves them and hates Kaysar’s Krew.

I would actually pay money to sit behind a one-way mirror as they each read the live feed synopses. Of course, these dipshits are so stupid, I think they STILL wouldn’t understand that James HAD TO SAVE HIMSELF! Ugh, I can’t believe this show causes me to feel anger.
20

jack

Posted August 1, 2005 at 6:04 am

AARGHH!!! less than a week after what was probably the most audience-pleasing and cathartic turn of events in the short and dubious history of big brother USA, we’re back to nonsensensical ‘cappy’-logic, the ever expanding ivette’s series of ‘ghetto’ concoctions, and more snippets of that wacky howie being his wacky self (awww, he likes boobies! he so funny!).

worst of all, things are not looking good for the iraqi assassin. if kaysar gets the boot, the collective IQ of the house will plummet by over 50% (if and when janelle goes, that’ll leave about 5% in james’ alliance-hopping dome).

the one small satisfaction of seeing ivette stay in the house is watching that ass grow. i haven’t seen a girl blow up like that since violet ate willy wonka’s bubble gum!
21

Marie

Posted August 1, 2005 at 6:52 am

Wow! What a great read! Every time I hear one of those idiots say “Cappy”, I wanna puke. I’m positive that midget is totally hated at his firehouse. And I’m positive HE’s convinced that he’s adored by his coworkers. And despite dating his friend, I think Maggie is secretly in love w/him. How else can you explain the blind-eyed slobbering devotion?? She talks about him like he’s God.

Beau is a Marcellas wannabe. Ivette is the grossest, loudest, most annoying person I’ve ever had to listen to. And did you notice that micro miniskirt she had on? She’s an embarassment to Latinos. Needlenose Angie & James’ GF Sarah haven’t a clue. I don’t know if that Arena Football Slut’s a slut, but she’s an Arena FB dancer so that’s all the info I need on her. Janelle can be OK then ruins it all by comments like, “I usually fly 1st class”. Geez. Rachel? Eh. She reminds me of Lisa, from Season3. I wouldn’t be surprised if she sailed under the radar to the finals. Howie annoyed me the first week, now he just makes me laugh. And Kaysar? Wow! He was truly annoying with all his religiosity, but when he tried reasoning w/Michael and when he refused to back down from Ivette AND how he orchestrated everything he knocked my socks off. He can really play the game!

I want Kaysar and Howie to go to the end. And I’m hoping James bites the dust this week!
22

Eric

Posted August 1, 2005 at 6:59 am

Brothers, look at me. Look in my eyes. Trust me. It ain’t over yet.

Each and every sheep has been warned to play the game for me. To let me know they are remaining true to me, they are to shout various senseless things throughout the show, such as, “Thank you, Eric!” and “Where’s Cappy?!” So Brothers, please stop complaining about the behavior in the house, they are just doing as they were ‘roidically instructed.

It ain’t over yet, Brothers. Don’t ever forget – I’m a firefighter. Did I remember to play that card while I was in the house?
23

katieshole

Posted August 1, 2005 at 7:05 am

Did anyone else notice James’s foot is as big as Yvette’s head?

In a lawn chair chat discussion, James was sitting opposite Yvette. When the camera shot showed Yvette, James’s foot was freakishly large, as large as Yvette’s head. It should be in a carnival act. James should of slapped Yvette’s head with his foot..now that would of been funny!

Can we get a screenshot of this TVgasm team?
24

Dan B

Posted August 1, 2005 at 7:29 am

No one has mentioned that with Eric evicted from the house, we somehow have EVEN MORE LVFD wear being worn. Ivette and Maggie were draped in the stuff in diary interviews.
25

Howie's Semen Stains

Posted August 1, 2005 at 7:38 am

No – no – no – he did not say ethniticities, or ethnicities, or anything closely resembling that.

What he really said was: Ethni-TITTIES! Cuz you know he’s just using Beau to get to that Spicy Latina, Ivette. Gotta know he wants to get up all in that. Both front and growing back, of course.

And he doesn’t seem to mind that Cappy took Ivette’s brain with him when he left. Witness her meltdown in the food competition when asked for a response: ‘CAPPY!!!!’ Ugh.

Oh, and please don’t rig a food competition in front of my eyes and tell me its the Second Coming of Gene Rayburn. Whatever.
26

Eddiebosox

Posted August 1, 2005 at 8:51 am

The anime theory is intriguing. Chenbot does have the oversized quivering eyeballs. If she comes on thursday and tells the houseguests that “all your base are belong to us” then that would settle it once and for all.

Ivette proudly taking credit for coming up with the “throw the coasters in a bowl” game. Yeah, god knows you don’t want anyone else to take credit for that brainstorm. It’s kinda like when that guy came up for the cure to Polio, and like, wanted to take credit for it. Thats like a PERFECT paralell. I hear Ivette is curently working on something new. From what I hear it involves covering up your face with your hands and then revealing them by saying “peek a boo”. Biut dont tell anyone I said this, I dont want to take credit for her ideas.

If I was ever on that show I would try and make my HOH room unveiling the coolest ever. I would tell the CBS producers that I want only a stack of really freaky German fetish magazines, a pile of sand, a framed picture of the first Czar of Russia, and the urethrea of a dead cow. ANd then I would go nuts when I got it. “Oh my god guys check out my cow urethrea!!” And everyone would have to act excited and kiss my ass, cuz I was HOH.
27

shan

Posted August 1, 2005 at 8:54 am

I think sometime in the future that Maggie is going to get annoyed with Ivette for thinking and announcing to everyone that her and Eric are best friends. Girls are territorial when it somes to their friends, especially guy friends. I hope they turn on each other because I really hate Ivette.
28

Ashes

Posted August 1, 2005 at 9:47 am

I appreciate the Agatha Christie humor. But I disagree with the idea that telling Maggie that her “alliance” includes the only people who voted against her would turn her against them. She and Ivette are so obsessively and irrationally worshipful of “Cappy” that Maggie might just see her group’s voting to evict her before Eric as a good thing. Maggie (like Ivette) is such a cult follower over him that she probably truly feels like it would have been better for him to stay instead.
29

sick-boy

Posted August 1, 2005 at 10:03 am

Eric probably isn’t the most un-liked firefighter at his station — he’s probably not even a firefighter. He kind of reminds me of the semi-retarded mascot guy who hangs around in “Rescue Me” — gets to wear the uniform, but isn’t allowed anywhere near a real fire.

You know, because he’d probably yell at the fire, or accuse the fire of sexual harrassment, or blame the fire for breaking its alliance with him.

Or from the sound of it, maybe he just _________s the station’s Dalmatian . .
30

The Dogg Pound

Posted August 1, 2005 at 11:22 am

That Ivette/She’s Gay caption is the stupidest thing I’ve seen since there was that Bobby Boucher/He Loves His Momma graphic at the end of The Waterboy. Gosh, that movie sucked.
31

sparky

Posted August 1, 2005 at 2:13 pm

From afterellen.com, Ivette’s interview with Marcellas before she went into the house:

She may describe herself as “lipstick,” but don’t put the word “lesbian” at the end of that sentence. “I just say ‘I like girls,” she tells Marcellas. “I don’t say ‘I’m a lesbian.’ Such a vulgar word. I’d rather someone say ‘she’s gay.’”

“Such a vulgar word.” She’s so not into vulgarity, that Ivette.

This also explains why BB6 added that “She’s gay” caption.
32

Baz

Posted August 1, 2005 at 8:05 pm

I don’t see how Maggie’s vengeful nominations were anything different than the shit “oh holy” Kayser tried to pull last time. He wanted revenge and was called a hero and godly figure and now Maggie is just being as petty putting up 2 people she really hates and people are blasting her. I don’t blame her nominations and if she or one of her klansmen gets the veto then anyone one of the two who gets voted out will be good for her team.

She understand why the others voted against her. Even maggie said she’d rather go than “cappy!” there is no controversy about that. These idiots are in love with cappy and would sacrafice themselves for his legacy.
33

Ed

Posted August 1, 2005 at 10:43 pm

Baz – the point many of us are making is that the object of the game now must be to break up couples. Maggot decided emotional satisfaction was more important.
34

tv freak

Posted August 2, 2005 at 8:57 am

Eddiebosox, that entire thing made me laugh soo hard.

Here are my two sayings I made up and am taking credit for (not yours Ivette):

Don’t poop on my barbeque and tell me it’s steak.

Don’t pee on my leg and tell me Howie did it.
35

cyn

Posted August 2, 2005 at 2:28 pm

Did anyone else notice that Chen said for the first time in this competition we had two allies up at the same time – referring to Eric and Maggie. Did she just forget about Jannelle and Ashlea?
36

Ginger

Posted August 2, 2005 at 2:37 pm

Re: #35 – Cyn

Janelle and Ashlea were never on the block together. The first week, Ashlea was put up against Kaysar, the POV wasn’t used and Ashlea went home… or sequestered, whatever. Remember? Or am I missing something?
37

tv freak

Posted August 2, 2005 at 3:07 pm

Ginger right!
38

vlaovik

Posted August 2, 2005 at 5:32 pm

Summer of secrets is fizzling…..It would be too easy to just bring back one of the previous expeled ones. Perhaps they’re all being sequestered with access to the feeds so the secret will be they’ll be reintroduced without the others knowing about their outside knowledge. Anyway i’m lobbying for Kaysar to be put back in the game…yeah, I know he’s not out yet but that’s pretty inevitable. He’s tooooo sexy and yummy.

Why can’t these idiots see that a block of two is still a power block of two….that is Maggie may not care about splitting up couples because of the million dollar payoff, but if she had half a brain she’d be splitting up couples because of the power they wield.

Gee it makes you want to sit there and scream. “CAPPY’, er not really….btw where do these folks get these stupid names for each other and for groups…..
Cappy
Chilltown
Cowboy
4 Horsemen…there are so many more. Anyone care to add to the list of ridiculous names?
39

CuriousSort

Posted August 2, 2005 at 10:15 pm

I feel so much better after reading the comments. For a while, I thought people really did like “The Friendship” cult. WTF?!?!? Is the secret that they’re Scientologists or something? Regardless, they’re clearly on a steady diet of retard sandwiches, and I hate them and their midget. Period.

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