You Better Recognize!

Big Brother

By admin | Wednesday, September 7, 2005 | 3:00 am | 64 Comments

facemorph9-6-05aI think that it is safe to say that the promised “Summer of Secrets” has kind of fallen flat when it comes to the secrets part. Sure, we had a secret room, and everybody had secret partners, but all of that excitement didn’t last more than a couple of weeks. Even Ashlea was able to guess that a houseguest might be coming back, and while the contents of a gold safe might be a secret, it’s not necessarily interesting. Thankfully, the rest of Big Brother has been very much worth watching. It seems like I am hanging on the outcome of every single competition, and I will continue to do so just as long as there is any fight among the last two standing members of the Sovereign Six.I was in Vegas this past weekend, and even surrounded by thousands of tourists from Taiwan to Topeka, I was still wondering what the outcome of the game was going to be. I sent a text message to B-Side to get the results, and happily interrupted my dinner at the Bellagio (the crab cakes at Olives? delish) to get an update of the results. I was less than happy with the outcome, but that didn’t temper my enthusiasm for a night at Light, drinking my night away on $12 vodka tonics. When I returned home and things finally started settling in, I realized that Ivette was HOH, which means that our dear Janey was the likely target. Even with a scant two weeks remaining in the house, those were two weeks that I would definitely enjoy more with Janelle in the house.

Tonight, I was quickly reminded why I could not stand the Friendship. As soon as Beau left, people started crying and saying how they miss him. I am not disparaging that, we all deal with loss in our own ways. What I am getting sick of, however, is the constant canonization of a member of the Friendship as soon as they leave the house. Of Beau’s departure, April opined “It is very, very sad. All we can do is remember Beau in this house and take a piece of him with us.” OK, what in the hell is that supposed to mean? Beau did not die. He is not going be cremated and have his ashes divvied up among the Friendship to keep in urns on their mantles.

Fortunately, the rest of the logic in the house was alive and well. Take Maggie’s statement, for instance. She said that even though she wasn’t HOH, she felt like she was the one who was sending a person home. Again, I don’t even understand how she can’t see the irony in her own statements. It was almost like Maggie was trying to tell us that she was in a competition, and each week she got to help decide who was going to go home. How can a person actually survive being this stupid? Much more of this, and I am going to send Les Moonves the emergency room bill after I am forced to gouge my own eyes out to get the pain to stop.

But have no fear, there was Ivette to put it all into perspective for us. She was crushed that Beau was leaving, and it all went back to – who else? Cappy! Poor Ivette, she was going to have to survive now without Eric or Beau, sort of like how she was able to survive without having met them in the first place. After that, she began to complain that since her partner was gone, she would “only” have the chance of winning half a million. As somebody who hasn’t made $500,000 in their entire working life (admittedly, I have only been a blog hero for one year now), I would have to say that complaining about your prize on a reality show is almost one of the dumbest things that you can do.

Ivette was the last person currently in the house who did not win HOH, and she was THRILLED to win. Immediately after she won, she had to celebrate, and instantly ran to the one thing that could comfort her the most. And so she sought refuge in the arms of oversized Ikea patio furniture. When those synthetic devices were not enough to keep her happy, she ran into the house screaming “I’m HOH. I’m HOH!” With her chance to once and for all show the world what good sportsmanship is like, she instead screams about her win to the top of her lungs. Does she not deserve to celebrate? Of course she does, but that is not the point. What she did was remind us of how Howie and Janelle and any of their allies were selfish poor sports that shouldn’t be allowed to live.

Normally, I wouldn’t be so worried about, but she does have the power to nominate, and let’s face it, she is a strong woman. You can imagine my horror when, early in the episode, we had a shot of Ivette running towards the camera in celebration of beating Maggie (who really threw the competition). She came barreling towards us like some uncontrolled and vengeful Jabba the Hutt, stomach roll upon stomach roll swaying back and forth, jockeying amongst themselves to be the one chosen to become the most memorable fab slab of flab. And oh, doesn’t it looks so sexy in those skin-tight jeans and tops that the she is always wearing? It doesn’t make me want to vomit all over my living room AT ALL. Take a look a this scene in full glory. Not to worry, the images can’t hurt you, unless you count the retina scarring as a result of extended viewings. I even put it in slow motion to maximize the effect:


Click on Ivette to play

Could things get any worse? But of course, we haven’t even come to the part where Ivette wins her HOH room. Ivette was so very happy that she was going to get a picture of her girlfriend, Maggie. Everybody was fawning over the picture of Ivette and Maggie, saying how beautiful the two of them were. I got a distinctly different impression. Ivette told us that her pet name for her girlfriend was “Tushy,” because she got sick of calling her girlfriend “babe” all of the time. I thought it was a more appropriate nickname because Tush is close to “ass” and “ass” was the first word that popped into my head when I saw Maggie’s face. In fact, we should call the Maggie in the house Tushy as well, if going by the “face looks like ass” criteria. Or maybe we can just make it easier and call her assface. I could say more about Ivett’es Tushy, but Janelle (who I am ready to admit that I have a full-on crush now) summed it all up for us saying “I don’t want to slander anybody on national television, but her girlfriend is ugly as hell.” She also managed to work a nice insult with the passive-aggressive statement “oh look, isn’t that the same shirt you’re wearing in the picture?” Imagine Piggy from Road Rules, combine with Irene from Real World, and you got a really close approximation of what Maggie looks like.

ivette_maggie9-6-05

As ugly as Maggie was, Ivette was even more annoying telling us about how much the little things Maggie had sent to her were so important, like a pillow that her mom had made, and a set of rosary beads that she always wore. Ivette nearly broke down talking about those rosary beads and how much it was a sacrifice for Maggie to give them up. They were meant to protect her, and she sent them to California to protect Ivette. Oh no, whatever will Maggie do? It’s going to be so hard to find rosary beads to replace the ones she gave up! If she goes looking for more, some bastard is going to charge her almost fifty cents for another set. I also think they come free in those El Pollo Loco happy meals and specially marked 12 packs of Tecate.

Howie and Janelle knew that they were in trouble, but Janey was not going to give up without a fight. She knew that there were ways that she could make a deal, but it all had to start with one of them winning the veto. If either of them won, it would force Ivette to put somebody up, probably April. From there, they could guarantee Ivette a trip to the final three if either of them was HOH, and they would also give her a vote if either one was on the jury. Overall, it’s really not a bad plan, but they did have to win the veto competition first, and that was not going to be easy.

While we were all left contemplating whether this would be Janelle’s last week in the house, we were treated to yet more light sabre antics starring Howie. Normally, I really hate these stupid segments. Isn’t there anything better that they can do? What happened to the “look who’s getting fat” segment? How about the “shopping spree” where they all make a mad dash for new clothes? And who wouldn’t want to see that new segment that features houseguests destroying their least favorite article of clothing from one of their roommates? What about MORE SEQUESTER HOUSE? There is so much to choose from, and the producers are just letting it go by.

The light sabres would have to do, and I will admit that they have one great side effect, and that is that it REALLY pisses off the Friendship. As much as it is stupid that Howie plays around with light sabres and quite literally believes that he is a jedi, it’s pretty harmless, no? I mean, these are folks that don’t even have a deck of cards to keep them company, and invented a game throwing coasters into the middle of a coffee table in order to pass the time. He only got to be HOH for a couple of days, so how hard is it to simply let him screw around? After all, it’s not like any of the Friendship does anything more than hang around the HOH room and complain about the others. They wonder why he acts so strange. Yes, it is so much more normal to do things like sleep in one bed with your two friends in the house spying on the rest of the house from a big plasma screen, all with the lights off just for the hell of it. I know what wouldn’t be strange! How about we erect a shrine to all of our friends who have been evicted just so we never forget them. But to make sure, let’s make sure to invoke their names at any chance we get just in case some people forget.

howie_janelle_lightsabres9-Howie shenanigans out of the way, it is now time for Ivette to do the difficult job of nominating people for eviction. As the number of houseguests gets smaller and smaller, the stupidity of this exercise increases ten fold. Nobody is sitting there for any extended amount of time believing that anybody besides Howie and Janelle are going up. And is it really necessary to have that entire box with them every time? Can’t they make a smaller one, like they have the small tables?

With little suspense, Howie and Janelle are in fact nominated, and it gives Ivette a chance to speak her mind. She says she finds it funny that “if you speak the truth you are considered loud, if you stay quiet you’re beating around the bush, and if you lie your are a snake.” Uhh, where do I begin? I guess she thinks that she always speaks the truth and people consider her loud. The truth of the matter is that we think Ivette is loud not because she speaks the truth, but she has to scream everything at the top of her lungs. It doesn’t matter if she is telling Howie that he had speedos in his HOH room or telling the whole lot that she won HOH; she is always yelling. Ivette would yell at a person who was deaf if she thought it would help them read her lips.

And what about the second part of that statement, that “if you are quiet you’re beating around the bush.” Can somebody please help me on that one? Why is it funny that people who stay put are considered beating around the bush? Isn’t it more like the definition of beating around the bush? Same thing goes for the last statement. It’s not funny to be called a snake for lying, in fact a lot of people are called snakes for lying.

Ivette doesn’t stop there though. She patronizes Janelle a little bit by saying that she underestimated her skill, and then said it was “amazing what a woman can do to a man.” As for Howie, he is condemned for picking the wrong team. These speeches had the Friendship practically peeing their pants in excitement. I wouldn’t say that Ivette’s speech was as dumb as Beau’s speech, but it was pretty close, and there was Maggie right there to say just how wonderful it all was. Ivette said that she was upset that she forgot some of the things she wanted to say, but Maggie said that “at least you remembered to say that she manipulates men.” I am sort of wondering about this outrage for a couple of reasons. First, I think anybody could have told you that Howie is so whipped, he would kiss a beautiful woman’s ass if it meant he would have a better shot at her grandkids. And I’m sure that Janelle is well aware of her effect on men considering she works as a cocktail waitress. I think that’s why I hate the Friendship, they suck at everything, including their insults of other people.

facemorph9-6-05bThe veto competition was the return of one of my favorites, which was the head morphing game. Each person would go into the backyard separately where they would see a face that was composed of various portions of three different house guests. The players had to choose which three houseguests made up the conglomerate face before them. They would have six different combinations to choose from, and the person who got all of them correct within the shortest amount of time would win.

I’ve always loved this game, as it gives us some really ugly combinations. It’s also fun to guess who is who. Some facial features are so easy to recognize, like Eric or Michael’s chin, or Kaysar’s eyes or hair. The outcome of this competition basically was going to decide if Janelle was going home or not. Ivette pretty much promised that Janelle was going home, and really wanted to keep her nominations intact. With so few people in the house, there was no way to backdoor Janelle against her will, so she would be free to compete and save herself.

As the game wore on, I really started to get worried. April posted a four minute time, and Ivette came in at three minutes and twenty seconds. Howie was hovering around ten minutes (which I hope was divine punishment for deciding to wear James’ boxers – how disturbing is that?), which meant that Janelle was going to have to work really hard, which is exactly what happened. Unfortunately, during her time in the competition, it looked like she was having trouble. She’s smart, and she does well under pressure, but it didn’t look like that was the case this time. The only thing left was to wait for the results. As I waited for the final times to be revealed, I was practically begging for it to be over with. Why prolong the pain? Why can’t they just make it easy on me? Isn’t it enough that I have been captivated the whole summer? Must you take advantage of me yet again?

The times were revealed, and Janey was the winner. Yet again, there was an audible shot and cheers rang out through the TVgasm offices. Janelle saved herself for another week, but how can I say that I am surprised? For the last couple of months, she has been giving us the best sound bites, and has been coming through with great performances when she really had to. Janelle, I am so sorry that I called you a man (really it was this madeyoulaugh guy who did the speculation). You have catapulted yourself into one of the greatest reality characters of all time, and the only testament you need to your greatness is the envy of your opponents. April complained that the only thing Janelle wants is a sugar daddy, which sounds strange coming from the obvious trophy wife that April is.

Maggie, trying to explain away her team’s poor performance, said that the reason why Janelle did so well was because she stared at everybody and that she never got to know a person on the inside, only their outer appearance. Yeah, nobody from the Friendship is ever concerned about appearance, just ask your body builder cult leader, or Ivette, who hated Janelle after getting to know her all of one hour. Then you can ask the personal shopper and then perhaps you can finish off with the sorority girl with fake tits and a nose job. I think Maggie’s criticisms can be boiled down to her being jealous of Janelle’s great looks and her superior intellect and athletic skills as well.

All in all, the pieces are in place for one of the greatest turnarounds in reality history. Janelle and Howie continued to talk about their plan for getting April out of the house, but it wasn’t until later, when Howie was doing some laps in the pool that we actually thought something dramatic might happen. I think Ivette is mentally sharp person when she has to be, and she has heard enough talk from Maggie and April to know that you have to start thinking a lot more about yourself, and that includes who you want to end up with in the end. Ivette knows her chances are much better with Howie or Janelle in the final two than Maggie or April. When the time comes, Janelle uses her veto, and Ivette nominates April in her place, meaning we’ll see lots more very enjoyable crying from her in the next couple of days.

noms9-6-05

This episode was almost too good to be true. There is not much hope left for Janey and Howie to win everything, but at least they tried their best and Janelle managed to save herself for another week. All eyes will be on Janelle this Thursday. I can’t wait see if she makes her way into the final two, and even if she breaks my heart and gets herself evicted next week, she made perhaps the most improbably long run of in the history of the show.

What do you think? Is Howie a goner or will Ivette turn against the Friendship and secure a better spot among the final two?

About

64 Comments

  1. 1
    Mark
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 3:13 am

    I think Ivette will stay true to the Friendsheep (wouldn’t want to piss of Cappy!).

  2. 2
    CopyCat
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 4:07 am

    Will Ivette go with the S2? It smacks of classic misdirection. Although, it was Ivette that approached Howie, not the other way around. But, she is dumb, and she will keep Maggie and April. Then they will choose to vote her fat ass out.

    When are we gonna see the before and after pictures to see how fat Ivette has gotten? Janey was HOT as she dueled with Howie around the house.

    Did anyone else catch the TAR family edition promo. It was not looking very good at all. Trainwreck may be to kind. But, I have to agree with B-side, I’ll support it to help avoid the erosion on ratings, so that CBS doesn’t cut future REAL TAR editions. Although, CBS brought this upon themselves.

  3. 3
    Bobbie
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 4:09 am

    How is it that you consistently take the words right outta my mouth?! But no lesbianish commentary to accompany your existing text on Ivette’s “beating around the bush” and her insights into how a straight chick wrangles men? Are you slipping? Love ya!

  4. 4
    Tony A.
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 4:18 am

    Entertaining show. Not as cutting edge as some of the others, but I did spot a glimmer of hope when Ivette mused that she may be better dumping her “Friendship”. Wouldn’t you love to see Maggie’s face if she does? She’s right, you know. If it comes down to Ivette and Janelle, the Friendshit in the jury will definitely make Ivette a rich Cuban loudmouth and she’ll have to make good and build Cappy a house. Let’s all pray Ivette develops some brains!

  5. 5
    B-Side
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 4:19 am

    This is getting my hopes up too high. Ivette is a passion player. She will never go against the Friendship. But Maggie? Who knows.

  6. 6
    boz48730
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 4:27 am

    Could the ultimate secret in the summer of secrets be in the way the winner is selected. The Chenbot always tells the evicted housemember that they will HELP to decide the winner, not that they will decide the winner. Maybe there will be some kind of viewer participation to help decide the ultimate winner.

  7. 7
    chronic
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 4:52 am

    Got quite a laugh around here from Ivette’s retarded comment: “You can’t count your eggs before they hatch.” Um, yes, idiot, in fact you can.

  8. 8
    Mellie
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 5:31 am

    I didn’t buy for one milisecond that Ivette was sad to see Beau leave. She could barely conceal her glee! Was I the only one who noticed that she couldn’t keep the grin off her face, even as she was claiming to be crushed?

  9. 9
    Tony A.
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 5:36 am

    There’s something seriously wrong with Howie. The man has the attention span of a hamster, except when it comes to his Jedi stuff. I got a big laugh of his stalking around while the three little piggies cowered in their bed last night. Are these seriously grown women? Sleeping all in one bed? Ivette must be loving the cheap feelies she gets there, huh?

    B side, I’m willing to bet there IS a possibility Ivette will vote out April. Yes, she is a passion player, but she’s deluded enough to believe that she’ll be the winner even if she and Naggie are the last two. I’ll bet she’d beat Janey if they end up as the final two, but not Maggie. Maggie is still the high priestess of the cult and Ivette knows it.

    The “don’t count your eggs before they hatch” remark was precious, pure ghetto Ivette.

    Lord, Lord, Lord. Thank you, Janey for the remark about “Tushy”. Cute of Ivette to name her after herself, even if Ivette is “TushO! God, watching her run, trying to hang on to all the flapping things on her body was scary!

  10. 10
    America's Next Top Fan
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 5:38 am

    I only wish the last 3 Star Wars films was as exciting as the Howie and Jedi Jani’s light saber fight. Otherwise, with the S2 on the way out, I find myself falling asleep on BB6.

    I truly despise, WITH A PASSION, Maggot, Hatepril, & Ivette.

    GO Jedi Jani!!!

  11. 11
    Princess Sparkle Pony
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 5:40 am

    What’s funny is that as awful as the Cappy worshippers are on the TV show, they’re way, WAY worse if you watch the live feeds. They spend 80% of their time trashing Janelle, and I mean really ripping her to shreds. And April’s constant, never-ending and blood-inducing nose picking? Simply divine!

  12. 12
    Rick D.
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 6:06 am

    They didn’t show the friendsheep complaining about the veto competition on the show. On the live feeds they kept saying that BB had given Janelle three tries on the competition until she got a good enough time to win. Talk about a bunch of poor sports.

    Rick D.

  13. 13
    silentounce
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 6:36 am

    Hey, what’s with the Tecate and El Polo Loco comment? I thouhgt you were above such things. That’s just as bad as Ivette’s “Muslim” comments. I’m not Catholic, or of Spanish descent, but come on. Everything else was brilliant, though, keep up the good work. I was ecstatic when Ivette went to Howie with the offer. It seems like everything is falling together. Down with the Nerd Herd!

  14. 14
    Jess
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 6:42 am

    Why the hell was April positively locked onto Ivette’s ass after Loudmouth got HOH? They even had to blur out some Cuban Crack….ewwww!

    Also, I loved Howie’s slam on Ivette….”well, she had nine weeks to prepare her speech, it better be good!” HA!

    Go Janey!!!

  15. 15
    Lene
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 7:02 am

    Ivette is “playing for Cappy”. Does that mean if she wins, she’ll give him the money? Moron.

  16. 16
    ha!
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 7:09 am

    When I saw Ivette running towards the camera last night, I knew instantly you’d have it posted in the recap. There’s only one word that came to mind: “Stampede!” You didn’t disappoint.

    Maggie saying: “When Ivette saw the picture of her girlfriend, she went down on her – knees.” Man, you can’t write it any better than that.

    And Ivette in the DR commenting about the “Arab Drag Queen” got tantalizingly close to all of the racist comments she’s been spewing.

    And yeah, I wish the producers had shown more of the paranoid delusional side of the friendship AGAIN thinking that there was no way Janelle could have won the veto competition without outside help, or by giving a BJ, or whatever.

    ha!

  17. 17
    callygirl
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 7:16 am

    You do have to wonder about the edit the friendsheep are getting. Are the producers worried about offending people too much if they show the full-out racism against Arabs that Ivette spews against Kaysar or are they trying to protect the players because it looks like one of the friensheep will win and the producers are trying to make them a little more appealing? I guess neither of those is a logical explanation given the live feeds (and the obvious disdain the majority of viewers have for the cult) so why do they leave out so much of the hate the friendsheep spew even while claiming to be righteous and mature?

  18. 18
    Preston
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 7:20 am

    Am I the only one who thought Ivette’s Maggie looked a helluva lot like former MTV VJ Kennedy?

    Anyone?

  19. 19
    cones
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 7:25 am

    did anyone else hear howie say he was wearing james’ “underwears” – PLURAL? i love him.

  20. 20
    hater
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 7:29 am

    I am so tired of Janey’s homophobic comments. Its really offensive. I love her on the show but I think I would have to smack her in real life.

  21. 21
    Chris in L.A.
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 7:31 am

    Ivette wont turn on the Friendship ’cause she’s a SHEEP. Bitch can’t think for herself.

    I thought the Nerd Herd’s comments about Janelle manipulating men was straight up sexist and misogynist. As if Janelle’s only asset are her good looks. Whatever.

    Ivette harbors a lot of prejudices and I believe is self-hating. See how she gravitated to Cappy, James, and now Howie…she wishes she was born a white men.

    Her girlfriend is fucked up ugly.

  22. 22
    Beausux
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 7:38 am

    Is there anything more obnoxious than opening and eating someone elses food? Ya gotta love Howie even if he is the worlds biggest dipshit.

  23. 23
    the secretary
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 7:41 am

    Did anyone else think that the pic of Ivette and Tushie (ugh that word) was a screen cap from the first episode? Remember when it was all “ooohhh Summer of Secrets! This one’s a lesbian!” and then Tushie (*poking self in eye*) jumps on the bed?

    So I ask myself, WHY is that the picture that BB6 chose to put in her HOH room? WHY???

  24. 24
    CopyCat
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 7:49 am

    I enjoyed the comments that Jani and Howie had for Ivettes speech. Time and time again, those two have demonstrated that they really have a grasp of what the viewers (America) pulse is, unlike the cult.

    I especially liked Jani’s observation that Ivette should get her head out of her ass and realize they are playing a game for MONEY, not camping (or something like that).

    On the other hand, Ivette has demonstrated time and time again that she is dumb. She will keep the sheep and dump the S2.

    It is entertaining to watch Maggie play Yapril and Ivette. It will be even more entertaining when they realize that she played them and wins the MONEY.

  25. 25
    sandman
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 7:49 am

    I’m beginning to think of the Friendship, collectively, as God’s mulligan.

  26. 26
    c
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 8:50 am

    I actually think Janelle would have a chance versus Ivette in final two! Remember, the Friendship is all about “loyalty” and they just may (fingers crossed) vote for janelle if Ivette screws them now…

  27. 27
    Jay Lewis
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 9:15 am

    Someone really needs to make a website like “americahatesthefriendship.com” so these people will have a CLEAR vision of how hated they are.

  28. 28
    amygirl
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 9:41 am

    April claims she is 30 years old- But on the live feeds when they are discussing movies and such, you can tell that her mind is doing the math before she comments on how old she was when a certain movie came out. She said she was in Junior High when ‘Christine” came out (1983) which would make her AT THE VERY LEAST 35. And you can see her four brain cells trying to figure out how old she would have been. This woman comes off on the show 50x better than on the feeds. All she does is complain and gossip about others. And the best is when you can tell that the Friendship is getting on each others nerves. They may love each other, but there is definetly alot of tension and annoyance with one another. These people just bug the CRAP out of me!!! If Janey doesn’t take this thing, I don’t know if I will be able to watch next season. Is there anyway she can do this???

  29. 29
    tilak0219
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 9:44 am

    I do not thing Ivette would turn against her fellow sheep. Watching the feeds April said if Ivette voted her out she would make sure that her (April) and Jennifer’s vote would be for the other person in the final two.

    On another note could these three frienship be anymore a pain in the a$$. Looking at the live feeds all you see is them bashing Jani and Howie. You do not see J&H talk that much garbage about the sheep. It seems to be in this order of complainers 1) Ivette, 2) April, 3) Maggie. Though it shoud be noted that it is a very close race of one and two.

    Hopefully there will be one or two more secrets.

  30. 30
    loopy
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 9:51 am

    Jay Lewis…the Friednship needs a kick in the ass like that.

  31. 31
    Jersey
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 10:07 am

    Jani iwll never win the money because the Janellousy of the Friendsheep is bigger than their logic or sportsmanship. They will never admit she played the better game.

  32. 32
    British
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 10:23 am

    I admit I missed last nights episode, but that screen cap of the face morphing game is really freaking me out.

  33. 33
    ashes
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 10:27 am

    I think Ivette will stick with April and Maggie. Her only reason to keep Howie would be a desire to take someone she can beat to the finals, and I’m sure April will tell her that if she votes out April and keeps Howie, she will lose the trust of the friendsheep. I doubt the sheep would actually vote for Howie and Janey to win over Ivette, but Ivette will think so and be scared to act on her own.

  34. 34
    J-unit
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 10:34 am

    British,

    If you think that is disturbing, check out the image of Marvin/Holly/Lori from last year:

    http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/big_brother/000212.php

  35. 35
    truedat
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 10:35 am

    howie is crackin my ass up!

  36. 36
    Matt
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 10:58 am

    great recap as always. as if i needed another reason to hate yellvette, she comes out trashing howie for being a star wars fan and playing with his lightsaber. as a card-carrying geek, FUCK her.

    my hope is that they let us vote someone out in the next week or two. i think it’d be too drastically show-altering to let us vote the winner, but voting an eviction would be sweet.

    and yeah–the secrets this summer have sucked. spot on my friend! plus, why so few secrets and twists that are worth a damn in the final weeks? this is when we could use a jolt, and I don’t mean “holly from big brother 5″ or double evictions brought about more by scheduling problems than game issues.

  37. 37
    willintherace
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 11:04 am

    Gotta give props to my man Howie last night for some pretty good lines. I especially enjoyed his dispelling of the nominations suspense when he was in his DR session and said, “The only question about this nomination ceremony is whether Maggie’s key with be pulled out first or second!” Go Janey!!!

  38. 38
    Retroqueen
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 11:12 am

    Damned Fine Update J-Unit!

    According to the book “Over 3500 Baby Names” the entry for Maggie reads as follows:

    MAGGIE (Old English as in Sheepdog), often confused with Haggie.

    Nicknames are Tushie, Assface, and Buttugly

    Popular with parents who could not tell their kid’s ass from their face

  39. 39
    jack
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 11:15 am

    no way ivette screws april over for howie, for one simple reason: she won’t be able to count on april’s or jennifer’s votes if she betrays the friendship. it’s no secret that ivette and april have basically been pretending not to hate each other all summer long to avoid disrupting the alliance. it would benefit ivette to get to the end with howie or janelle, but only if someone else were sending april and/or maggie packing. as it stands, ivette would have to take sole responsibility for f’ing april over. she might still be able to beat howie or janelle, but maggie would whip ivette in the finals if ivette betrays their alliance to save one of the hated cool kids.

  40. 40
    reality'slut
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 11:22 am

    Retroqueen #38: My name is Maggie so flush the hate, my friend. Why can’t you live up to the morals & ethics epitomized by the Friendship on BB6? They would never go so low as to trash someone over such a superficial reason as her name!

    Speaking of trashing over names…
    J-Unit: So it was Madeyoulaugh who first made the “Manelle” reference? And all of a sudden MYL (be he man, beast or whoaman) is suddenly on the outs with TVgasm? Summer of Secrets, indeed!

  41. 41
    tj
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 11:43 am

    excellent recap, j-unit!

  42. 42
    katieshole
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 12:27 pm

    I think Yvette will vote out Howie. She’s a fool to do it, since Maggie and April can easily beat her fat ass in a veto/HOH competition. I suspect that she will channel that roid rage midget, Crappy, and ask for guidance.

    Janelle is still my hero. Calling Yvette’s dog faced girlfriend ugly was perfect. I cackled loudly!

    Summer of Secrets (whisper): Yvette’s girlfriend is a beast!

  43. 43
    Shelley
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 12:45 pm

    Every word that comes out of the friendshits mouths is HYPOCRITICAL!!! They talk about others being poor sports (winning or losing) and too many others to name. ITS getting really irritating with all their hypocritical comments. From what I’ve heard y’all say about the live feeds, i’d be even more pissed! PLEASE GOD DON’T LET THEM WIN! If Janey can continue to win either HOH or at least VETO’s she can make it to the final two. Where at least she will get some money, right?

  44. 44
    Christine Colgate
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 12:50 pm

    I think on of the only reasons that Howie opened up Ivette’s food was because when he was HOH for a day, he was letting everyone have whatever they wanted in his basket.

    I don’t know if anyone else noticed, but the picture of Ivette and Tushy….Does anyone else find it sad that when you look at Ivette and her girlfriend, you’re thinking, “God, Ivette can do SO MUCH better.”

    Ivette is a sheep. There is no way that she betray The Friendship (I hate writing that insipid name!) That b*tch doesn’t realize that THIS IS A F*CKING GAME. If those losers are truly your friends, and I fear they are, they will like you regardless of what you do inside that house. Grow the f. up, losers.

    I also hate how Ape is always saying, “I don’t care. I’m not here for the money.” If you’re not, then take your sorry ass out that front door and talk to Julie Chen. See ya, peace Granny. Jed, Ellie Mae, Jethro, and Miss Hathaway are waiting for you!

  45. 45
    thomasjwilliams
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 12:57 pm

    J-Unit, thanks for the great recap and for the link to last year’s freakish digital composite — sadly Tushie is an even more disturbing image. And you were wrong on one thing: the one viewing of Evilette in slow motion still scarred my retinas.

  46. 46
    Christine Colgate
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 12:59 pm

    One more thing…How awesome would it be if the last secret in the lame-ass “Summer of Secrets” was if WE got to vote the winner. Can you imagine how many people would be voting for Janelle?

  47. 47
    bleeh bluhrb
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 1:31 pm

    When Janelle won the veto Yellvette was screaming in the diary room that Janelle would never use the veto on Howie because she’s too selfish. WTF????????? That makes her selfish???????

  48. 48
    tv freak
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 1:37 pm

    Am I the only who saw when Ivette won HOH, April tried to pull Ivette’s pants down. It might have just been me, but I think I saw her crack. Someone with Tivo or it on tape, please look back. now to read the recap, but first (Julie Chen) I think that pic at the top looks like Maria from Apprentice 2.

  49. 49
    Rick D.
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 1:54 pm

    Howie once again screwed the S2 on his HOH. If he would have focused on getting either Ivette or Maggie out instead of Beau he and Janelle would be sitting in a much better spot right now. Maggie is the only thing holding April and Ivette together. If Maggie wasn’t there those two would have probably killed each other by now.

    Rick D.

  50. 50
    nunyadambizness
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 2:11 pm

    The next America’s Choice is rumored to win a trip out of the house to visit the set of Three and a half Men!! We have to vote for Janelle!!

    This is from Joker’s Updates:
    http://www.jokersupdates.com/ubbthreads/showthreaded.php?Board=bbnewsandrumors&Number=2404087

  51. 51
    amygirl
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 2:24 pm

    Ya know, I would just like to add that I am so glad this website exists and we get to indulge in meaningless gossip about a reality show. With the Hurricane Katrina coverage so rampid, and my being in tears almost everytime the news, Oprah, Ellen, and every other tv show comes on, It is a welcome relief to obsess about such an insignificant thing. Thanks B-Side, J-Unit, and the rest of you…
    God Bless America

  52. 52
    Charity Hope Valentine
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 2:42 pm

    B-Side and J-Unit, I beg of you….PLEASE START ANOTHER JANELLE CAMPAIGN!!!!! We have to get her to win. Please, boys. Please.

  53. 53
    Greg
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 2:46 pm

    Wouldn’t it be great if next season they returned to the format of Season 1 (and most BB around the world) where the houseguests nominate each other and the public votes? With Kaysar’s overwhelming return to the house I think America can be trusted again to not vote out the interesting people, don’t you think?
    Come on Shapiro!!!!

  54. 54
    scorpiella
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 3:03 pm

    Secretary #23
    I also noticed that the picture Ivette got last night of her and Tushie was just a still photo of the scene they did on the first episode. Doesn’t that set off anyone else’s bullshit alarm?? If she’s so in love with her girlfriend, why wasn’t there another picture available of them together? I am really starting to believe that Ivette is not a lesbian. First, her terrifying love for Cappy, then her ‘I don’t care if you lied to me with your hand on the bible’ affection for James and now that he’s the only guy left, her newfound feelings for Howie. The bitch has issues.

  55. 55
    Jeremy
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 4:33 pm

    Whatever happened to the food competitions?

  56. 56
    Roxie Hart
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 4:41 pm

    Scorpielle, I read that on the live feeds that Ivette’s pictures were damaged in transit. I think that’s why we saw that shot of her and Tush that we saw on the 1st episode.

    Ivette’s dumb line about counting your eggs before they hatch makes me think of when Jude Law cheated on Sienna Miller. The NY Post was asking women if they could forgive him if they were Sienna. This woman was quoted as saying, “Once bitten, twice shot.” My friend was like, “Jesus. What neighborhood is she from?”

  57. 57
    Gruffydd
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 5:17 pm

    Is a Press Release by CBS a spoiler?

  58. 58
    Hav
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 5:22 pm

    Maggie, what a twit saying “Janelle won the veto competition because she only cares about how people look on the outside.” Totally something an ugly person would say.

  59. 59
    nony Mouse
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 5:31 pm

    Hmmm… so many possibilities in the Summer of Suckers…

    If Ivette was smart (pauses for laughter to subside) she would send home April. Ivette doesn’t stand a chance of winning against April in the final two and probably not against Maggie, either. But Ivette votes with her emotions (she doesn’t have a heart) not her head, so she’d probably vote out Howie out of spite.

    What’s more likely is that Maggie, who is smart, voting with Janelle to oust April then Ivette next week. Any of the remaining fiendship should realize the obvious advantage of taking Howie or Janelle to the final two. So let’s hope Maggie IS smart…

    Then let’s hope Janelle or Howie gets the final HOH and see the Fiendship stew over who they hate less…

    Nony

  60. 60
    reality'slut
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 8:02 pm

    nony Mouse (#59) – you have come up with a plausible scenario for the S2 to make it to the end. Won’t happen, but it is exciting to think about it.

    Dammit! I wish I would stop being so emotionally invested in this SHOW!!!!!!!!!

  61. 61
    Nony Mouse
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 8:29 pm

    RealitySlut,

    As I said, we can only hope Maggie is smarter than Ivette… and we all know that’s true.

    As much as we loathe the Fiendship, Maggie is the only one that managed to make me almost like her some weeks.

    Maggie needs to oust April and make an agreement with H&J to send home IvyLeagueButt next week; if the Fiendship is upset, they won’t take it out on Maggie since they hate the S2 so totally…

    But I think we all agree Ivette isn’t smart enough, so it’s up to Maggie at

  62. 62
    Tony
    Posted September 8, 2005 at 9:20 am

    Ivette will not vote to get April out, yes she figured out that her best shot at the end is with Howie and Janelle but her loyalties to the friendship will stick. Ivette still dosen’t get it that this is a game and a game to win not to fawn over your other team members that get evicted. She made this obvious they way she carried on when Eric got evicted. I was like well girl don’t you want to win the money? I think Maggie is going to step all over her. I am hoping some miracle will happen where Janelle wins HOH and knocks off either April or Ivette. Janelle was the most underestimated person on the show this year, that gal knows how to kick butt on the show.

  63. 63
    Diane
    Posted September 8, 2005 at 2:01 pm

    I think that evil always wins, thats why sadly enough one of the evil friendship will win this game. But this is only a game…lets see what happens when they go into the real world. Lets remember the called us Shits!!!!!

  64. 64
    TinkerbellAPixie TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted September 9, 2005 at 4:34 am

    In response to #9 “Are these seriously grown women? Sleeping all in one bed? Ivette must be loving the cheap feelies she gets there, huh?”

    According to some live feed recaps, one night Ivette actually did ‘beat around the bush’ in bed between Maggie and APril who both slept (or pretended to sleep) through the whole thing.

    ICK!

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