This year, Big Brother has given the fans the ability to vote in one half of this season’s twelve member all-star cast. Last night, madeyoulaugh and I liveblogged the announcements. We promised to get together and make our recommendations. B-side and I got together with Andy Denhart of reality blurred to come up with our “editor’s picks”. That being said, there is going to be a lot of disagreement out there, and since we know there is going to be a lot of passionate fans out there pleading for their favorites, we will also offer the east-coast response to the the TVgasm west-coast recommendations. As an added bonus, madeyoulaugh makes his picks for the final twelve, and pledges to eat a cube of wasabi for each one that is wrong.
The full list of possible house guests is available here, and you can stalk your favorite house guest as they will all be making various appearances to plead their case. Our choices come after the jump.
UPDATE: Join J-unit in the tvgasm chat at 2PM EST/11 AM PST to talk about the Big Brother nominations!
TVgasm/reality blurred Picks
We absolutely hate Jase. We don’t love to hate him. We hate him. Everything from his hair to his tank tops to his mandanas we despise. On season five, he was cocky and arrogant with no trace of intellect, and his constant posturing revealed an asshole eager for more time in the spotlight. His “Four Horsemen” alliance revolted nearly every viewer, and his obnoxious love affair with Holly not only pierced our ears but boggled our minds as well. Additionally, when cornered, Jase became a hypocritical, confrontational jerk. The ultimate egotistical piece of scum. That’s why we think he’ll be perfect the second time around. — B-Side Vote for Jase at cbs.com
Some people hate Danielle, but we love her. In season three, she manipulated and charmed her way to the top two, wisely employing a secret alliance with Jason all along. Her biggest downfall was her ruthless, candid, and hilarious diary room sessions, which at the time, the entire jury used to watch. They were all bitter about the things she had said, which is why she ultimately lost the big prize to Lisa. We like her scheming, and we like her observations. Bring her back. — B-Side Vote for Danielle at cbs.com
Although James was secretly partnered with his fiancée Sarah during his season of Big Brother, her presence was always considered a liability. While he quickly tried to play various factions of the house together, his game-playing ability didn’t show until after Sarah left the house. With no allies, James was able to scheme his way farther into the game than anybody would have imagined. With an innate ability to get people to trust him, James is the type of “win at all costs” wild card you need to twist the game at any moment.—J-Unit Vote for James at cbs.com
The breakout star of Big Brother 6, Janelle is the total package when it comes to potential contestants. She’s smart, funny, athletic, very attractive, and loves to scheme. Although her budding romance with fellow contestant Michael has not lasted, she will always be remembered for rubbing an HoH win in the faces of her opponents with a chant of “Bye bye bitches!”. Janelle was the most loyal in her group and the most hated by her enemies. With her in the house we are assured of candid opinions and great entertainment. — J-Unit Vote for Janelle at cbs.com
Dr. Will Kirby
Long before Jon “Jonny Fairplay” Dalton used dishonesty to advance himself on “Survivor,” Will Kirby lied his way to victory on Big Brother 2. He planned to be an unapologetic villain from day one, telling his fellow houseguests that he would lie to them, and promising to “waste” the prize money after he won. Ultimately, because he was so detested, he was never voted out. He won the game shortly after Sept. 11, 2001, and his victory was, understandably, lost in the aftermath of that day. Will deserves the chance to once again place his intellect up against a house full of morons to see if he can outwit them. —Andy Dehnart, reality blurred Vote for Will at cbs.com
Despite—or perhaps because of—her uncanny resemblance to the trash heap on “Fraggle Rock,” Ivette managed to place second during Big Brother 6. The first openly lesbian cast member spent the season verbally ripping apart her in-house enemies. Feed watchers reported that she once called fan favorite Kaysar a “fake Muslim” and a “sand n———.” Although Ivette has distanced herself from her former alliance, The Friendship, there’s no way her fiery personality will let her play nice, so let the verbal fireworks begin. Ivette has spoken! —Andy Dehnart, reality blurred Vote for Ivette at cbs.com
What about Kaysar and Marcellas?
Okay, here’s the thing. Kaysar and Marcellas will be back no matter what. Even if they get the lowest votes, the producers will undoubtedly put them in the house. Of course, the viewers will probably vote at least Kaysar back in; so why even bother wasting an endorsement? Besides, as much as we love these guys, they did commit two of the biggest blunders in all of Big Brother history. The viewers never forget. Never.
EdHill’s East Coast Response
Speaking on behalf of the on sabbatical sg-dub I feel compelled to speak up regarding the choices and offer our respectful dissent. For all of us here at TVgasm, Big Brother is the World Cup of reality shows. Passions run high. In fact last year if I even heard anyone say a bad thing about my Jedi Janey I would punch them in the throat and call their mother the C word. Meaning crazy (What did you think I meant?). And this year it is even more agonizing as we all are forced to make our own Sophie’s Choice as to who gets in the house.
For the most part we are in agreement. Janelle of course is a no brainer. Dr. Will has been my role model for years (rule #1 in life is to always ask; WWDWD). Ivette and James. Absolutely. Ivette’s nasty racist invective at Kaysar and complete obliviousness to the fact that everything she says is being broadcast on the internet made her the breakout star to hate from BB6, now considered the most perfect season of reality television ever (if you stop watching before the last week when it broke all our hearts). James was just manipulative and backstabby enough to deserve a second chance. And I wholeheartedly support not going with the obvious choice of Kaysar. Once he took his hand of that buzzer he was dead to me.
But the last two is where I must register my objections. Jase? Jase is a loser. But what’s worse, he’s a boring loser. Hamming it up for screen time and spending all day preening in front of a mirror just doesn’t make good TV. Cowboy on the other hand, is a goldmine. The man who tells people that evictions are “nervousing” to him. The man who was convinced that he was going to be getting his own show upon leaving the house. The man who talked about how his wife liked sex in the place that red state America dares not tread (and I’m not talking about Massachusetts). The way he sycophantically sucked up to the four idiots to the point where he followed Jase into the bathroom to watch him bathe. The man who never one a challenge or an HOH due to his lack of physical prowess, coordination, and an IQ above the level where you are no longer considered functionally retarded. This man needs our support.
As for the women, I think Danielle is also not a wise choice. Yes, we all were annoyed with her constant backstabbing “devil” talk, but if evil is what you are going for, look no further than Allison, AKA Allislut. Some of my fondest Big Brother memories was hating that skank of a witch. The kind of hate that keeps you warm at night. The kind of hate that makes you disgusted at yourself for thinking she was vaguely attractive during the first episode. I need that hate back in my life. Please, bring back the hate. I beg you.
OF course if it was up to me I’d have all twenty of them in the house and make it a six month season. Give the people what they want. CBS has other plans however. The network that unleashed Yes, Dear on the world thinks it knows how best to entertain us. Ah well, I guess I shouldn’t complain. Another season of Big Brother is upon us. Life is good.
madeyoulaugh’s stone cold lead pipe locks
Will – I didnt really watch season 1 so for me Will provides the freshness that I will want to avoid feeling like watching a summer re-run.
Ali – I like the idea of seeing her humiliated in another summer on national television.
Jase – It’s Jase.
Diane – She’s so pissed from last time when she screwed up, I’d love to see what she brings this time around.
Kaysar – We already have buttons to sell
Janie – She diserves it.
Danielle – I remember her as being very smart, but much of her smarts came from people not realizing what a great player she is, how could she play now if everyone knows how good her game is!?
This is who will not be in the house:
I promise 100% accuracy or I will do the wasabi thing.