Jillian Michaels Tricks Fat People

Biggest Loser

By Flipit | Wednesday, February 10, 2010 | 11:42 am | 4 Comments

Images Weight-Loss-Secrets-Of-Biggest-Losers-Jillian-Michaels-21122314

So wait. There’s NOT a pill that will make you thinner without any effort on your part?? THAT’S CARAAAZY! Jillian Michaels of Biggest loser fame is being sued for fraud. Fat people have taken her pills and are still fat. Uh, I’ve paid for Weight Watchers Online since it began and I’m fatter than ever. If there are any lawyers out there, call me.

I listened to Jillian’s radio show when it was on the air, and it was some fascinating stuff. “Jillian, help me! I’m fat!” “Eat less and exercise.” WOW! STUNNING BREAKTHROUGH! I’m kinda surprised that she would be in trouble for selling fake crap when I can’t remember her ever advocating diet pills, but I guess you gotta make that money while you can. Cuz then your star fades and you ride off into the sunset, buy a house in the middle of the woods, and get fatter than Jabba the Hut. Ok my dream leaked a little into this story, sorry.

Point is, fat people should know better. One thing that goes unspoken amongst us is: DON’T TRUST SKINNY BITCHES. If you need to lose weight, start a coke habit and don’t eat anything. It’s called perseverance, and it doesn’t come in pill form. Who am I kidding? I’m fat until the miracle pill is finally released. Stay tuned!

Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

4 Comments

  1. 1
    waffleboy09
    Posted February 10, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    Okay, the pills actually working was just plain silly, but please tell me that electric gizmo that shocks my belly fat works, because I just picked up a poop load of batteries.

  2. 2
    JimbobJones
    Posted February 10, 2010 at 7:26 pm

    Why did you go the expensive route, Waffleboy?

    I just stripped some wires from an old lamp. I’m using it now. I’ll be thinner in no time.

    Hey, who’s cooking bacon?

    Mmmmmm…. bacon.

    Sorry, lost my train of thought. DAMN YOU, JILLIAN MICHAELS!!!

  3. 3
    bBitz
    Posted February 11, 2010 at 12:12 am

    HAHAHAHAHAHA… you kill me.

  4. 4
    waffleboy09
    Posted February 11, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    Did someone say bacon? Yay! Oh poop, now I need more batteries, and a skillet

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