Someone please make it stop. Tonight’s episode is more than I can wrap my brain around. Let’s see what Nev has up his sleeve for us, shall we?
It’s a girl named Kya who’s been “dating” a guy from Switzerland named Alyx for eight months. She started out by catfishing him with a fake profile on a website called Vampire Freaks. Exhausted yet? Me too. When Alyx miraculously moved to California, Kya came clean and told him who she really was. Alyx said it was fine; he loved her anyway. Already this story is SO messed up. Nev can’t get Kya on skype fast enough. Keep in mind, Kya and Alyx have still never met or skyped. But they say “I love you” 50 times a day. Kya thinks she could marry this guy. Here’s Kya:
“Vampires aren’t supposed to be in the sun.”
Nev and Max fly to Mexico, Missouri to meet Kya. Population: 6, of course. We meet Kya and her mom, Lisa. Nev wants to know what Lisa thinks about all of this and Lisa says that Alyx seems like a really nice guy – she spoke to him once – and that as long as he treats Kya with respect, that’s all she cares about.
“She stopped wearing her fangs, so I’m happy.”
Okay, my parents would have been bouncing off the walls if I were getting ready to marry someone I’d never seen and only talked to on the internet. There would be a serious intervention. Nev sits down with Kya and she takes him through the events leading up to this. First of all, Kya met Alyx on Vampire Freaks using this as her profile picture:
Here is Alyx:
Wouldn’t these two make an adorable supernatural couple?
He’s pansexual, by the way. Meaning he doesn’t discriminate against any gender, sexual orientation, or… what? Where does bisexual cross over into pansexual? Number of partners at once? Come on. Kya says she’s also pansexual. That’s just precious. Oh, and Alyx has his relationship status listed as “engaged,” which Kya says is to her, but that they just decided to put that on their profiles. Like they’re not actually engaged. Um… ok? Kya shows Nev the message she sent Alyx breaking the news that she’s not the girl in her pictures, and including an actual photo. Alyx just responded that he doesn’t care and she’s beautiful. Wow, that is one generous guy. I mean, guys tend to place the importance of looks above everything – especially in the beginning of a relationship. This is either the nicest guy on the planet… or something is catfishy. Kya says she’s never been in love like this and she wants to meet Alyx no matter what.