Welcome to Episode 1 of Celebrity Apprentice, everyone! This season, the Trumpster is more egotistical than ever. Seriously – he refers to himself as the world’s biggest star. He calls the episode Hero Worship, which I’m sure he thinks means him. Just to bring him back down to earth a bit, I’d like to point out that his face can be made out of food.
Am I right or am I right?
(That’s wheat on top of Sparky’s head)
You’ve already met the contestants in the pre-cap, so we don’t need to go into that. I was alarmed to discover this show is two hours long. That’ll teach me to do a little research before I agree to an assignment.
We learned a few things about the personalities that were surprising and it turns out my very first prediction was sadly wrong. I won’t do too much of a spoiler here, but I’d like to point out that the person who was fired is in the picture below.
Also, despite their age, the person still looks classier
and sexier than the other frumpcows.
Someone invited a janitor to the show:
I’m upset about the amount of work that has been done on the contestants:
Why would you want to emulate this?
Even his implausibly smooth skin is boring to me.
Has Dee always had Cher’s profile?
There’s too much botox in this beauty to ever smile like that again.
I won’t be too harsh, since she is 65 years old!
Deborah Gibson goes for the Real Housewives of Jerusalem look.
I’m not naming names, but someone forgot to have the
skin on their hands tightened to match.
Why didn’t she just let herself age naturally?
Her beauty would have been a classic!
Anyway, sorry for the nit-picking, I’ve been home sick and I guess it’s making me cranky.
Sparky assigns the man vs. women teams to make sandwiches, which is a meaningless assignment to keep them busy while they make phone calls and ask friends to send them big donations.
The men pick Paul as their project manager.
And under the guidance of this financial mastermind, they win.
The whole thing is bogus and I’ll get into all that in an in-depth analysis in a few days.
See you then!
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