***One of our fave (and yours) Xmas articles of all time. Miss you, IceQueen!
Back when I was a young IcePrincess, I thought that I wanted to make a name for myself by making television commercials. Yessiree, I was gonna make it big — probably win a CLIO Award or three… maybe even get mentioned in a Kevin Nealon commercial special… and then go on to live the good life. Unfortunately, an internship showed me commercial making isn’t nearly as glamorous as I’d assumed. I spent hours standing in for people who were far more attractive and better-paid than I was. And once they came to the set, my job was to keep crackheads from walking into the shot. Even though my dream was destroyed, one angry tweaker at a time, I’ve never stopped enjoying commercials, especially the local, low-budget ones.
Didn’t I almost have it all…
This week, I watched a bunch of TV and did some YouTubing so I could share with you some of the holiday commercials that I love and loathe that are airing on the east coast this year. Consider it my gift to you. You’re welcome.
Let’s start with the car commercials. It’s a sign that the economy is improving when you have to see the same car commercial five times in half an hour. And if Facebook has taught me one thing this month, it’s that everyone has that freakin’ “Holiday” song from the Toyota commercials stuck in their heads. You know the one: “Holiday, oh holiday, and the best one of the year.” I wasn’t sure what the song was about, so I checked out the music video for the song. And I still don’t know what it’s about.
Whatever is happening here has nothing
to do with cars or holidays….
Vampire Weekend isn’t the only indie, hipster band featured in a car commercial this season. Pomplamoose did some weird multi-camera ads for Hyundai.
The scarf and beard give them the power to retain
their hipster cred.
Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without ads for weird crap you’ll never need, but your second cousin and your secret Santa at work have to get you something. Topping the list is the Chia Pet, “the pottery that grows.” Chia Pet technology has not changed since it debuted in the early 80s, but something must be working because someone’s been buying ad time for the past 25+ years. Has anyone out there ever actually grown Chia? If so, what is it?
Ethnically diverse Chia Scooby comes with cornrows.
A more recent — though just as useless — invention that’s a holiday fave is the Snuggie, a robe for people who like to wear things backward. This year we saw the debut of the Snugarena. It’s an ancient Aztec word that means making an ass of yourself by doing the macarena while wearing a robe backwards.
It’s nice when we allow people to age with dignity.