And we then go to the third scene, where a bratty little girl is sassing her grandmother? aunt? no, turns out to be the so-called nanny, Mrs. Kelly. Shouldn’t that be Senora Kelly?
The girl decides to put an entire bottle of liquid detergent into the washer – and it’s a top of the line LG – although we’re not told if it’s because she is a terror or if she is actually trying to help. Nanny of the Year, meanwhile, is ignoring her and working on a crossword.
Don’t trust that smile. This kid is up to no good.
Milo comes home – oh, he’s the girl’s brother. Nanny of the Year finally ventures into the laundry room, which has suds 1/3 up the walls, and falls flat on her a-s. Back at the store, Jules is fired because the store just isn’t doing much business. Jules comes home, crashes into trash cans, and finds her brother, the stolen game, the nanny (with soap suds covering her back like a deranged dinosaur) quitting, and the little brat. Also, Milo tells the kid there’s no Santa.
And that’s just the first 5 minutes. What is this, 24?
But wait! What do mine ears doth perceive? Why, it is the pixie, the sprite, the bearer of good will from Castlebury. It is, in short:
Paisley Winterbottom, butler to the Duke.
Now, in the real city of Buffalo, any poncey guy who leans on the doorbell and then says his name is “Paisley” is going to get a) laughed at and b) beaten up or skated over. I’m from Philly. Buffalo is just as tough. Jules, however, lets Paisley in. When asked if he’s really a butler, Paisley makes a joke referencing “P Diddy”. Um, he’s just “Diddy” now and also, really?
I ain’t no punchline, jackass.
Paisley implies the Duke is dying, and offers Jules, et al. a trip to Castlebury, which is, he says, a “stone’s throw” from Lichtenstein, for Christmas. Turns out the Duke’s elder son was married to Jules’ sister, thereby becoming disinherited by the Duke, who hasn’t had any contact with Milo or whatever her name is – sorry, Maddie – even though the children’s parents perished in a CIA op. Or car crash. Or avalanche. Something. Last Christmas. So that’s apparently why the children are incorrigible.
Jules first spurns Paisley’s offer, but then that evening, after talking to a photo of her dead sister while watching A Christmas Carol on TV and generally being really morose, she decides it’s best for the kids. The next morning, quelle surprise – the tickets are in the mailbox. And thus begins our magical adventure.
And here we are in Castlebury. Big house, snow, trees. Rolls. Royce, not baked goods. Couldn’t find a still of the house, so instead here is a photo of a delightful cottage that’s part of my Christmas decorations.