The 12 Men of Xmas Recap

His photo shoot is the most magical. It includes a horse, champagne and absolutely no shirt. EJ’s lady bits are raging once again. Why can’t these two kids get it together? Damn that pride!

What a sensitive soul Mr. Mountain Man Has…

Post photo shoot, EJ is on the phone with her sister talking about none other than MEN! She just doesn’t know what to do with man #11 because he keeps blowing her off and she doesn’t know why. I know why. He tried kissing her after date #1 and was very unsettled with the amount of bobbling that occurred once he made contact with her head.

The boys of the calendar are all at the bar having drinks like boys do, and they get made fun of by everyone in town. They decide they’ve made a huge mistake. I sense a mutiny on EJ’s hands.

Still unsuspecting of the trouble that is coming her way, EJ is examining the proofs from the photo shoot when Mr. Mountain Man swoops in and plants a sloppy one right on the kisser. And EJ like!

They then promptly make boom boom and eat grapes post-coitus with their expertly coifed sex hair. Who saw that coming?

While these two hormone stricken adults recount the memories of the harsh jabs they made at one another, a neighbor drops by to return a dress. The neighbor is shocked to find Mr. Mountain Man there and they have to slowly close the door on her because she is so shocked she is just staring with her mouth hanging open. Apparently she did not see that coming.

The next day, EJ’s voice has dropped a full octave and she is finally relaxed. Looks like Mr. Mountain Man knew how to handle her valleys and peaks!

EJ has to break it to her sister that she won’t be back in New York for the holidays. Mr. Mountain Man must have soooome amazing manmeat to make EJ do a 180. I mean, no woman is complete until they find that perfect man, now she can finally relax and stay in the kitchen making dinner and babies, just like nature intended.

The Calendars are here! The Calendars are here! Everybody is partying and rewarding EJ for all her hard work. Then they all go back to their fake conversations as the camera pans to EJ and her Mr. Mountain Man dancing. All the town gossips are all in a tizzy over the new love that is blossoming right before their very eyes. But they don’t care they’re in love!

Man #11 is back and boy are they having some awkward conversation. But then they reveal why: Man #11 is dating Cynic Lover New York Lady! EJ doesn’t care, she’s got her own Mr. Mountain Man who knocks her socks off and sometimes manages to knock off her little bobble head in the heat of the moment.